When my church board is not healthy

My recent blog, Split Boards, Split Congregations generated a fair amount of comment - especially on face book. The comment below illustrates the dilemma that we find ourselves in when one's church board is not healthy.


So as a member of a congregation like this-where personal agendas are taking over and boards are not being held in check--how do you know when to leave? Knowing this is the state of your leadership, how do you keep worshiping in this setting? Is is possible?



Obviously a board like this won't care if your one little family leaves, so no "point" will be made if you go.


When you know of this discord and the heart of leadership, should you stay connected to this body? There are probably more problems like this than we are even aware of. It would sometimes seem ignorance is bliss, but what happens when you DO know? the telling line: the board thinks what they do is done in secret. You are right, it never is! Church members can see and feel it!


There are no easy answers to this dilemma. Obviously the first answer is to pray that the board will get its act together. In addition, I would consider talking to someone on the board that one trusts and who can do something about addressing the issues at the board level. There are books like "High Impact Church Boards" that address these very issues and describe how to take an unhealthy board to greater health.

Often it is necessary to bring in outside counsel who can candidly address the issues that are contributing to poor health and call unaccountable board members to accountability. I have done this on numerous occasions as a consultant to church leadership.


I do not believer we ought to leave churches easily. However, when the leadership is unhealthy and over time one discerns that this is not likely to change, you will see a quiet exodus. The sad thing for the church is that those who leave first are often the healthiest members because they are missionally driven and unwilling to tread water in a place where leaders are spending their time fighting over agendas or guarding the status quo rather than leading the church into healthy ministry. The end result is that when the board wakes up, those they need best are often gone.


These are not people who easily bail. They are generally those who care about leveraging their lives for maximum ministry impact and are unwilling to waste precious years where that passion is not held by the leaders of their church. Generally they will not fight (they are not in a place to make a difference with leadership) but will quietly leave.


What unhealthy boards don't get is that there is a cost to their unhealthy behaviors:
First, congregations will rarely rise above the spiritual level of their leaders.
Second, congregations are often aware of tension, agendas or unhealth on their board.
Third, congregations will often mirror the conduct of their leaders.
Fourth, unhealthy leadership cannot lead congregations in healthy ministry.
Fifth, over time, your most missionally minded people will gravitate to places of greater health.


I cannot answer the dilemma raised by the above response to my prior blog. What I can say is that leaders have no idea how destructive unhealthy board behaviors are to the church and they will be held accountable by God for their leadership - healthy or unhealthy. Many church boards need a wake up call to how their lack of discipline, health, ability to police themselves and lack of missionality is hurting the bride of Christ.

Discouragement and our Hearts

Ironically, we must guard our hearts during times of failure and discouragement as well as success. While success may cause us to take our eyes off of our Lord and focus on ourselves, failure and discouragement have the potential to do the same thing: only this time in disillusionment and discouragement rather than pride and entitlement.



I know how dangerous failure and discouragement can be. I came very close to walking away from full time ministry altogether after deep pain in my late twenties. I know both vocational and avocational ministry driven individuals who have done that in the face of great difficult times. I am sobered by the implications in my own life and ministry impact had I chosen to walk away from the call of God on my life because of my great pain.


I have come to believe that times of failure (real or perceived) and times of discouragement are critical for the health of our hearts as they force us to choose where we will put our trust even in the face of impossible circumstances. We are forced into the decision to put our faith in our heavenly father just like those listed in Hebrews 11 even when we cannot see a way out. Looking back on some of the most painful periods of life I have come to the conclusion that I would not trade them for anything but I never want to experience it again!


Failure and discouragement force a life changing choice. Will I continue to trust and follow closely after Christ or will I settle for a diminished and wounded life? The first leads to greater faith and the second to a lessened faith. Failure and discouragement are never final unless we allow them to be. We make the choice as to whether we will move on and follow Him in the midst of our pain or allow our pain to pull us away from Him. It is always our choice and our move.


My own heart has been molded in pain and disappointment more than in any other way. That pain was God’s graciousness to me in order to make me what I have become. I am humbler, gentler, kinder, more comfortable in my own skin and less driven because of the gift of pain. Some of the best gifts come in the most unsuspecting wrappings.


One of the common responses to discouragement and failure is cynicism. All of us have reason to be cynical about people: especially those who claim to be Christ followers and do things unworthy of that walk. Yet, cynicism too, is a destructive attitude and hurts our heart. It causes us to doubt the good intentions of others, robs us of our ability to trust and skews our attitude toward others. Think about this: What if God chose to be cynical toward us? Our actions and attitudes often deserve it, yet he chooses to love and believe the best for us. Cynicism robs us of the ability to love and believe the best.


In my fifties, I am deeply realistic about the realities of people’s lives and situations I face. What keeps me from cynicism is my awareness of my own struggles, failures, imperfections and deep desire for righteousness. I am thankful that God is not cynical with me and I want to resist the temptation to be cynical toward others. Paul meant it when he wrote his letters to the “saints,” even when he needed to chastise and take people to task. We are saints, even in our imperfections and struggles and we want to treat all of God’s people in that light – even those who irritate us significantly.

Success and our Hearts

The complexities of our hearts are nowhere more evident than in the drive of leaders to succeed – and the motivations that underlie that drive. Those motivations have a direct impact on how we lead and how we treat the people we lead. It impacts the level of drivenness that defines us and how we respond to success if God grants it.



I am seen by many as a rather driven, type A personality and I cannot dispute that I have a very high desire to succeed in what God give me the opportunity to do and frankly, I did not fall far from the tree. My father graduated as a Civil Engineer, then went to Seminary, Medical School, completed a surgical residency and finally a Dr. of Ministry over his lifetime as a church planter, missionary doctor and then a surgeon in private practice. Along the way he wrote a book called Discovering the Bible that thousands have used as they read through the Bible over the course of the year.


While never feeling overt pressure to succeed, I cannot imagine not putting my full weight into any assignment I am given and become bored quickly when there is not a challenge in front of me. What drives me is the desire to have maximum influence for the cause of Christ globally in the years that He gives me. That fuels my leadership of ReachGlobal, my consulting with churches and Christian ministries, speaking, teaching and writing. I guess I qualify as driven whether I like the notion or not! Fortunately all of these things are in my sweet spot so I derive great satisfaction from them and my work is my play. I am blessed.


Success however has its hidden traps. I must ask myself constantly, what is it that drives me? Is it the accolades of others, telling me I have done well? If so we all know that others often tell us what we want to hear rather than the truth! Am I driven by my definition of success or God’s? I have heard many pastors say that success for them is a larger church. Really? Might God’s definition be a missional, empowered and healthy church? Is larger always the definition of success? After all, a larger congregation might simply mean that we have attracted the latest folks hopping from one church to another!


Success often brings a sense of pride that makes us believe that we don’t need to listen to the counsel of others. After all, we have proven ourselves. We know what is right and the more success we experience the less we listen to those who we need to hear around us. The truth is that the more successful we are the more cautious we must be about our own wisdom, and the more committed we must be to ensuring that we have a cadre of friends around us who tell us the truth and help us see our blind spots. The biblical admonition that pride goes before fall is not a myth but a harsh reality.


It is often in success that we are vulnerable to either hurting those that get in our way or exploiting others for our purposes. After all, why should I allow others to get in the way of God’s work? And surely, the ministry I am involved in transcends the needs and concerns of others! Many of us have met people who think this way. Their ambition and drive has run over those who got in the way of their trajectory.


Chapter eight of the book of Deuteronomy is devoted to the subject of success and the reality that often in success we start to believe our own press – that it is us who are responsible for success rather than our God who granted it. We start to believe that we are deserving of privileges that others are not. We start to believe that it is our wisdom and our ability that got us to where we are rather than the blessing of God and the gifts which He sovereignty gave us.


I am convinced that one of the key indicators of where our heart is – is how we deal with success and whether it brings with it greater pride or greater humility. I both desire and fear success! I desire to have the greatest influence possible for His purposes and the advancing of His kingdom. I fear that this very success will cause my heart to believe that I am responsible for the success He Himself granted and that in my success I may in fact fail the test of my heart’s followership of Him.


How do we guard our hearts in seasons of success? I believe that the answer is counter intuitive to what successful people often do. Success often makes for subtle shifts in our thinking and lives: We run faster, move away from truly authentic relationships, believe that we are better than we really are and expect others to serve us. The way to guarding our heart in success is exactly the opposite of these common responses.


Slow down


Success often causes us to run faster and faster. Opportunities come to speak, attend conferences, meet important people and schedules fill till we are running on fumes: And it is the fumes that are dangerous because when we are tired, full up, and living without margin we are at our most vulnerable. All too many Christian leaders have crashed and burned in the process. Their hearts were empty, their reserves used up and their guard was down!


Here is the irony. What robs us of success is running too fast and paying too little attention to what really counts. Those who are successful over the long run and who retain their deep influence are men and women who do not stray from the core but hidden practices of nurturing our hearts. But this cannot be done on the run. It requires time to think, reflect, align our priorities and stay close to God. If anyone needs to say “no” often, it is those who have tasted success and become sought after because of that success.


Cultivate authentic relationships


Success breeds arrogance unless we continue to intentionally cultivate the authentic relationships with other Christ followers who can challenge our thinking, hold us accountable and keep us humble. Whenever I encounter arrogance I know that these critical elements are missing and that there is a high likelihood that a crash is coming. Arrogance is the bi product of unaccountability and isolation.


Perhaps the most important people to those who have tasted success are those who knew us before we were successful in the eyes of others. They are not enamored by our new stature. They know us for who we really are and our relationship is not based on fame or accolades. In fact, they are the very people who see through the fluff to what is truly real. Like God, they are not enamored by the new persona but look for the authentic us.


Men and women who have come into significant wealth know this truth. It is the friends they had before they were wealthy that they know to be true friends and not looking for some favor. The same is true with those in ministry who come into significant favor. Those who isolate themselves from accountable relationships often pay a heavy price. Those who foster authentic relationship with those who are not impressed by their success guard their hearts.


Pay close attention to your shadow side


If anyone needs to understand and be aware of their shadow sides, it is those who have tasted success. In success we are tempted to believe that we are better than we really are – to minimize our weaknesses and exaggerate our strengths. It is a dangerous place to be because the evil one is constantly looking for opportunities to trip us up and when we exaggerate our strengths in our own minds and minimize our great weaknesses and shadow side we are prime meat for him.


Arrogance is thinking too highly of ourselves. Humility is understanding who we are, Who the source of our gifts and success is and that every good thing we are and have accomplished comes from the generous hand of the Father. My very ability to write this blog is simply the gift of a heavenly Father who gave me the gift of putting words on paper to encourage and challenge others.


Because success blinds us of our shadow side, one of the keys to guarding our hearts is paying more attention to our shadow side as we experience success. It reminds us of our spiritual frailty; of our need for God’s grace on a daily basis and that we are merely cracked pots whom God uses in his redemption plan for our world. Our shadow side, that part of us that still needs to be sanctified by Christ is a daily reminder that we are no different than any of God’s other children. It humbles us and causes us to fall before the cross daily for a needed dose of grace and forgiveness. It helps us guard our heart.


Intentionally serve others


One of the deadly results of success is the temptation to think that others should be serving us rather than our serving them. It is the conversation that Jesus needed to have with two of his disciples when he pointed out that the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve - and so with His disciples.


As the leader of a large organization I am acutely aware of privileges that I enjoy. I have greater autonomy over my priorities and schedule, authority to make decisions that impact others, the ability to build a team that covers for my weaknesses and allows me to live in my sweet spot most of the time and recognition for ministry efforts that others may not normally receive. These are privileges of position. They are also temptations to believe that I am special and entitled when compared to others.


Nothing could be farther from the truth! The posture of Jesus and His disciples is the posture of a servant who came to serve rather than to be served. It is the posture of Jesus in Philippians 2 where He humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross.


The posture of a servant guards our hearts and keeps us grounded in the Christian call to serve others as Christ served and serves us. It helps us resist the insidious move toward pride and privilege and helps us remember the source of our success – the gracious hand of God and those who make up our team and organization.

Guarding Our Hearts

At the center of our inner lives is what the Scriptures call our heart. Within the heart lies the truest core of who we are - our relationship with God, our motives (good, bad and sometimes mysterious even to us), that which has been brought under the lordship of Jesus and that which makes up our shadow side. Our hearts are deeply complex and central to everything we are and our commitment to understand and guard our hearts over the long haul of our lives is perhaps the most critical element in becoming a person of deep influence.



Life was far simpler in my younger years than they are today in my fifties as it relates to my heart. As a young Christian I saw things as black and white, good or bad. I understood certain temptations and did my best to make choices that were pleasing to God but I did not understand the labyrinth of my heart: its passages, rooms, closets, corners, areas where the light of Christ penetrates brilliantly and those where there is more shadow than light. Nor did I understand my ability to celebrate those areas of light and to minimize or ignore the areas of shadowy twilight.


With each passing year I understand better how much of me has yet to be transformed by Christ. I am continually amazed and often disheartened to discover another door of my heart that I have not opened to Him. With each realization I recognize how much more I need His grace today than yesterday and how important it is to understand my heart, to live in truth rather than deception (or ignorance) and that my spiritual pilgrimage is about understanding Him better so that I understand me better and can bring another part of me into alignment with Him.


People of deep influence are exegetes of their own hearts. They actively seek to peel back the layers of protection we use to avoid confronting the real us in order to allow God to transform us into what He made us to be – in every area of life – a process to be completed only when we see Him face to face! They live with a deep sense of God’s grace in their lives because they are willing to acknowledge their own darkness and allow God too shine His light in dark and dangerous places within their own souls.


Solomon was one who understood the multifaceted dimensions of the heart – its capacity for good under the Lordship of God and its capacity for deception and evil under the lordship of self. It is he who wrote this admonition: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).


Our hearts are the place from which all of our attitudes, motives, and actions emanate. Jesus was clear on this…. Scripture is also clear on the fact that the heart of man was severely damaged by the fall, when Adam believed Satan that if he ate the fruit of the tree he would become like God. Interestingly, it was simply another version of Satan’s own attempt to become like God, or to usurp God so Satan’s own competition with God became man’s competition with God with the result that “We all like sheep have gone astray, each one going his own way” rather than God’s way.


The dilemma we face is that even though transformed by grace – having been justified by Christ’s blood, the process of sanctification is ongoing and the ability of our hearts to deceive us is significant. This is why Christ followers can do such damage to one another – we are deceived in our own hearts that what we are doing is justified when often it is simply the sinfulness of our lower nature showing its ugly head.


I think of church leaders who in the name of “ministry” hurt others who get in their way to success. I think of Christ followers who refuse to reconcile with another party even when that party desires reconciliation. I think of my own ability to justify attitudes or actions that negatively impact others in the name of furthering the gospel of Christ. It takes deep sensitivity to the Spirit of God and word of God which has the ability to divide the marrow of the heart, to sift through what is truly righteous in our motives, thoughts and actions, and what is the residue of our own sinful, stubborn and independent nature!


For leaders, this issue is even more important because our actions impact others in a more direct way than the actions of the average person. And, we have authority over others that many do not have. How we use that authority is always a matter of our heart and whether we understand the layers of our hearts, thoughts, motives, intentions, desires and the myriad other influences on our lives that impact our actions. Like the proverbial onion, there are layers and layers of possible motivations to our actions and getting the real “core” is the constant challenge of a person of deep influence.

Split Boards, Split Congregations

It grieves me every time I hear it. A church board that cannot get its act together, cannot speak with one voice, and cannot deal with rogue board members. Once again, I heard recently of a pastor who has resigned from his church because of massive, ongoing, untreated cancer on his board. Cancer of disagreement, lack of unity, inability to resolve issues, inability to make common decisions that are then kept and inability to support the pastor with one voice.

This is a board that is going to cause a crisis for the congregation. Their poor leadership, their inability to police themselves and their total lack of leadership skills will likely throw the congregation into a major leadership, ministry and financial crisis. The congregation may never recover from a massive wound which their own leadership has inflicted.

There are three principles that I have observed over the many years that I have worked with church boards and congregations. First, the congregation rarely exceeds the spiritual level of its leaders. Second, the congregation usually mirrors the unity or lack of unity of its leaders. Third, congregations suffer deeply when there is dysfunction on the board and benefit deeply when there is health on the board.

Boards think that what happens behind their closed doors are secret. Congregations read the health or dishealth of the board in intuitive ways and real ways and their conduct, health, alignment and behavior matters. Frankly some boards behave in ways that they would never allow others in the congregation to behave.

Once when talking to a church leader about massive board dishealth in his church I suggested that the whole board ought to resign and allow a new group who were willing to work in a unified and healthy way take over. The alternative of perpetuating ongoing board and therefore congregational dishealth is too painful - and too hurtful to the bride of Christ.

One thing I know about this present situation is that a number of board members simply refused good help and counsel when it was offered. They refused help and counsel from seasoned mature leaders and in the end they have deeply wounded the church instead. The book of Proverbs has a word for those who refuse wise counsel - "fools." It is a strong word but it fits rogue boards or rouge board members wherever they are who will not or cannot get their act together for the sake of the congregation they lead.

The church is the place where the very best leadership should be found for it represents the most important enterprise in the world - the bride of Christ and the spread of the Gospel. Where that leadership is treated lightly, where personal agendas get in the way, where rouge and unaccountable board members are tolerated - it is a sinful shame.

Listening with our eyes

Recently one of my colleagues was spending time with his grandchildren while their parents were dealing with an emergency situation with another of their kids. My colleague was constantly on his cell phone (who of us is not?) dealing with his own work issues.

After a while one of his grand kids came up to him, turned his face with his hands so my colleague was looking him in the eyes and said. "Put that phone away. I want you to listen to me with your eyes!"

That was a profound statement from a youngster. He wanted his granddad's full attention, not distracted attention. He wanted him to hear him with his eyes - meaning that he was truly listening, truly paying attention, truly interested. And he knew that his granddad was not listening with his eyes.

On our second trip to Israel some years ago, we were eating breakfast in a hotel we had been in some years earlier. One of the waiters came up to our table and said to my wife, Mary Ann, you were here before! Why would he remember? Because Mary Ann looks people in the face and gives a wide smile when she greets them and she listens to them with her eyes. They don't forget.

One of the interesting comments in the gospels about Jesus is that He looked directly at people. He was fully engaged. He listened to them with His eyes. In doing so, he honored them and made it clear that he cared about them and connected with them.

How often do we only half engage and half listen. I for one am going to do better at listening with my eyes. From the mouths of little ones.....great wisdom.

Powerful Words

Recently I met with a church board that had been experiencing significant conflict with its relatively new and young senior pastor. Tensions had been high and one leader had chosen to step off the board in the prior meeting because of his discouragement. It was if a giant log jam was piling up at a rapid pace threatening the unity of the board and the church.

The day before I met with the board an extraordinary thing happened. The young pastor after much self searching and counsel from mentors wrote an extraordinary letter to his board apologizing for his behavior, asking their forgiveness and committing himself to work as a team. When I came to the meeting, it was as if the giant logjam had been released. Even the member who had stepped off the board was there with a renewed sense of hope.

It takes humility to say, I have been wrong and am sorry. But those words, coupled with a truly repentant spirit can break any number of relational or leadership logjams. The longer we insist on our "rightness" the higher the logjam becomes. The moment we acknowledge our wrongness the faster the logjam is released.

Church boards and other teams suffer when members - including leaders - refuse to acknowledge they have been wrong. Our pride foolishly compromises our mission and the work of God. The answer is simple. Humbly acknowledge we have been wrong, ask forgiveness and make whatever we need to make right. 

Transparency with Ourselves

A life of transparency with others has the benefit of encouraging us to be transparent with God about our lives as well. It is not that God needs our help in this – He is fully aware of who we are and where we struggle. He does not need our transparency but we do. Not as a matter of guilt but as a matter of knowing where He is gently (sometimes not so gently) prodding us to move closer to him and away from the distractions of self and sin.



Understanding our own hearts, our particular vulnerabilities (our shadow side) and areas where we need to grow spiritually keeps us from pride, from self-satisfaction, from the often unbiblical view of life and success and keeps us grounded in our need of His grace and presence. All of us would like to think that we are better than we are, more mature than we are and less vulnerable than we are. When we measure our lives against the truth of His word we realize that none of that is true. We need God desperately and one another deeply. Our hearts – by themselves – are prone to mislead us regarding our true spiritual condition.


The moment we start to fool ourselves about our own lives we begin to compromise our influence. This is why it is so critical to take the time regularly to examine our own lives, motives, priorities, and thinking – being as honest with ourselves as we can. We often avoid such analysis because it can be painful but ironically it is part of the path to deep influence because it is in our need for His grace and the ongoing transformation of our lives through His Spirit that our lives have the most influence.


Such self and spiritual understanding gives our lives authenticity and authenticity gives us influence because there is an inherent integrity to lives that embrace truth rather than self-deception. Here is an interesting question to ponder: Where are you most likely to be self deceived? It is an “ouch” question but one that merits personal analysis. Self deception comes in many varieties and we are each prone to our own areas of deception that unless understood become spiritual traps robbing us of influence.


On this count, there are a growing number of men and women who have a “spiritual mentor:” a mature and insightful individual who has permission to probe their spiritual lives and ask the kinds of questions that cause them to think deeply. This is not about having someone tell them what to do or God’s will for their life, or taking the place of the Holy Spirit. It is about asking the probing questions that help discern the spiritual crevices of their lives.


People of deep influence are people of truth. They seek truth in their lives, in their relationship with God, in their relationships and in their work. The pursuit of truth is a Godly pursuit. Remember that the evil one is the father of lies. As citizens living in a fallen world we are prone to believe those lies. As citizens of heaven we are committed to pursuing truth.


Truth comes to us through the Word of God and the practice of meditation on His word where we measure His word against our own lives. It comes to us through the Holy Spirit who is our counselor and “the Spirit of truth” (John 14:16). And it comes to us through close, trusted friends who are given permission to speak into our lives even when the words are hard to hear. People of deep influence have those people, listen to God’s Spirit and spend significant time in God’s word. They are pursuers of truth in all of life.


In the pursuit of truth and wisdom, there is no substitute for a lifelong study of the Wisdom literature in the Old Testament: Job, Psalms, and Proverbs. What passes for wisdom in our world is often foolishness to God and vice versa. Saturating ourselves in wisdom and truth becomes a filter through which we view the messages that come to us on a daily basis regarding wisdom and success. The wisdom of the Kingdom is foolishness to the world. The juxtaposition of a “fool” in God’s eyes with the “wise” is sobering when one considers how our society defines both kinds of people.


These books challenge us to understand the fear of the Lord by following him in all arenas of life and to examine our hearts, motives and followership continually. They help us understand the holiness of God and His heart of truth and grace. They are a goldmine of wisdom for those who desire deep influence with others.

Presence

Our greatest influence will come through our personal interactions with others. Distant and unapproachable leaders may look impressive (for a while) but they will not have the kind of deep influence that a present and approachable leaders has. Our greatest influence is life on life and that requires relationship, time with others and shared work or life.



Through high school I had contact with Dr. Walter Kaiser as he mentored me from a distance in theology and the Old Testament. I admired him greatly but did not know him well. Then, as his teaching assistant at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School I saw him almost daily for four years when school was in session. I was in his home and saw his interactions with his family. I was in a small group with him and students in my cohort. I watched him deal with the many challenges he faced as the Dean of the Seminary. I saw the authentic, honest, unvarnished and transparent Dr. Kaiser and his life rubbed off on mine in a powerful way. Most of all I saw his amazing heart for God and desire to influence the world for Christ. He gave me an amazing gift, one that I can never repay in allowing me into his life and I was changed because of it.


People who want to have deep influence have a commitment to other people. They love people and are willing to invest in them. While I am by nature more of an introvert than an extrovert much of my life is spend with key individuals who are my colleagues and whom I desire to influence. My writing is merely an extension of that time with people where the real lessons are learned and the deepest influence takes place. This is where the power of transparency is at its best.


Since high school I have practiced the discipline of spending quality time with a select number of individuals – usually around ten at a time – and continue to do so to this day. These may be formal mentoring relationships or often informal where time together, dialogue, and discussion allow life on life influence. Sometimes it is fairly one way, sometimes two way. These are individuals that I believe God desires me to have influence on for a season. In some cases they are fairly young, in others, middle age or older.


One of the mistakes in the western world as it relates to spiritual transformation is to focus on class room teaching or reading. While these can be valuable pieces of the equation, the reality is that the most powerful growth and transformation is life on life rather than primarily classroom. That is why Jesus lived with twelve disciples, dialogued with them, did ministry with them and even sent them on their own for special ministry. But his influence was one of presence with them rather than simply through his teaching. It was life influencing life.


I was influenced by Dr. Kaiser through his preaching and mentoring from a distance but I was profoundly influenced when I had personal contact with him over a period of four years. What people see in us, what they discuss with us, what happens when we invite them into our lives is far more profound than any classroom experience.


At fifty four years old I know that my deepest influence will be through a new generation of leaders whom I can have a part in developing. These are national leaders from around the world as well as those from this country. It has become one of my four key priorities and it takes place first through presence so that I can invite them into my life. Once there is presence and a relationship there can be ongoing mentoring face to face or from a distance.


What is interesting about presence is that we don’t know how God is going to rub off on others. Often someone will say to me, “Do you know what I remember about our time together?” When I say “What?” they will relate some facet of a conversation that I don’t even remember. The Holy Spirit had been working just where they needed encouragement or a word and I had no clue at the time – but that is the magic of life on life interaction.


Because time is precious I think and pray about who I choose to invest in personally through my presence. I want to develop other deep influence individuals who will in turn do the same. At its heart this is about transparency and inviting others into my life.

Spiritual Transformation and Transparency

The goal that Jesus has for our lives is to make us into the best version of me (reflecting the person of Christ) that is possible through the work of His Spirit. This process is the spiritual transformation of our hearts, our minds, our priorities and our relationships.



Remember, perfection is not the goal of our lives – that will take place only when we see Him face to face. Paul challenges us to simply live up to the level of maturity that we already have (Philippians 3:16). The most powerful indicator of God’s supernatural work in our lives is this very transformation because in its process, our hearts, minds, priorities and relationships change and those changes are only possible through God’s work in our lives. It is as people see those changes and want the same for their lives that they press into how and why we have changed. Or are quietly influenced to move in the same direction themselves.


It is this very transformation which God intends for our lives that is a powerful source of our deep influence with others as they see God’s work in our lives. I am a gentler, kinder, more empathetic person than I was twenty years ago. Those who have known me over that time can see the change and it is a testimony to God’s work in my life. It gives me greater influence but the very transformation becomes a encouragement to those who need to experience that same transformation themselves.


Paul made this point to Timothy when he wrote, “Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:15-16). It was precisely Timothy’s growth that would be an encouragement to those who knew him and give him credibility in his ministry.


Never allow anyone to place you on a pedestal as if you have arrived. It is a dangerous and dishonest place to be. Rather, be disclosing about where God is working in your life as a reminder to others that the work of God’s Spirit is central to our lives and that all of us are on that journey. We cannot influence others from a pedestal (it is dishonest and unattainable). We can influence others as we are transparent about our own spiritual journey and the lessons we are learning.


As we press into the transformation God desires for our lives, we gain influence because we become more like Him. At the same time, as we are open about what God is doing in our lives we influence others in the same direction. Transparency in the journey is a key element in our deeper influence with those around us. While we all try to hide the rough spots in our lives to some degree or another, we all struggle with the same kinds of things. Those who are willing to name the struggles and how God is working become a great encouragement to others who want and need the same.


Think through your circle of friends and acquaintances and ask yourself the question, “How self disclosing and transparent am I with them?” I have found that the more transparent I am in my leadership role, the more those I lead appreciate me and my self disclosure. In that self-disclosure I become more real, less guarded, more accessible, humbler, less threatened and less threatening. Just being me – as long as I am engaged in God’s transformation is far more powerful than seeking a persona of me.


Transparency begets transparency. And, it deepens our influence as others are encouraged to allow God to do in their lives what He is doing in ours.


One powerful area of regular transparency is simply sharing what God is showing us as we pursue him. That openness is also an encouragement to others to also be pressing into their relationship with God and avoid the trap of being so busy serving Him that we are not cultivating our relationship with him. Every time I hear a colleague share how God is working in their life I am encouraged to think about that area in my life and I am reminded that “intimacy comes before impact.”


The power of a group of individuals regularly sharing their cutting edge issues with God is truly significant. It is a leverage in the lives of all present because we are exposed to many lessons being learned. And the openness promotes individual an group transparency. It is leaders who set the culture for this kind of sharing. To the extent that we are open and transparent, others will be as well.

The Authentic Us

In a previous blog we looked at the freedom of being who God made us to be and being comfortable in our own skin. This comfortableness in our skin allows us to increasingly set aside the need for pretence that we are something we are not and it gives us the freedom to disclose who we are with confidence.



Authentic people have real issues in their marriages, families, work and relationships. They have fears, anxiety over certain things, become defensive when certain buttons are pushed and suffer from insecurities. This side of heaven we are plagued with all kinds of issues that go to our Emotional Intelligence, wiring, weaknesses, shadow side and vulnerabilities. Anyone who pretends otherwise is either fooling themselves or living with false pretences.


What people need from leaders of deep influence is honesty (appropriate to the situation) about issues they face and how they deal with them. I do not look like an insecure person and generally I am not. But when I share some of my insecurities with groups of leaders they sit up and listen – they are surprised – but guess what, they also related. I am not the only one with insecurities and in disclosing my issues I gain a hearing and encourage others. It gave me greater influence with them because in seeing the real me, they resonated with the issues I raised and it provided the framework for significant dialogue among us. I am continually amazed at the power of appropriate transparency.


Our transparency with others creates an atmosphere of transparency where it becomes safe to talk about those issues that plague us all but which we are afraid to disclose. Creating that atmosphere is a gift to the team you lead or the people you influence because hidden, these issues hurt us while they can be resolved or helped in the light. In doing so, we also create a culture of authenticity where struggles are acknowledged, people are encouraged and facades discouraged. It is a culture of authentic grace and truth.


This combination of grace and truth that characterized Christ is crucial to healthy transparency. Truth means that we are committed to walking in truth, speaking truth, and creating cultures of truth. But truth must always be balanced with grace if it is not going to be harsh and hard. And it starts with us in an honest, non-defensive way that does not blame or throw stones but simply lives and speaks truth as a way of life.


A culture of authenticity and honesty carries over to organizational culture as well. I am familiar with many churches and Christian organizations where there is more airbrushed gloss than truth about what is really happening in the ministry. Problems are ignored or spiritualized, problem people are not dealt with, and ministry effectiveness or lack of it is not honestly looked at. It is always interesting to see a more authentic leader come into such situations and actually name things for what they are! It is a refreshing change for those who didn’t like the facade and a threatening change for those who did. Many Christian organizations are just waiting for such a leader who is transparent about their personal challenges and the challenges of the ministry they lead.


My transparency as a leader encourages others to be transparent as well. My honesty elicits honesty among others and it is transparent honest discussion that allows an organization to draw out the best rather than hide the worst. If you are not naturally very self-disclosing or transparent I would encourage you to take some small intentional steps toward greater transparency. You will be surprised at how powerful that small step is in how others respond to you and the impact on the group you work with. It will encourage you to continue to increase your personal level of self disclosure.


Such transparency takes a level of courage and self confidence. For three years, I have written a blog (LeadingFromTheSandbox.blogspot.com). At times, what I have written has been used by a few against me claiming that what I write there does not equal how the organization I lead actually operates. They are right but miss the point. In calling the organization to a higher level we intentionally create a gap between where we are and where we aspire to be. Our goal is then to close the gap – but a gap will always be present as we continue to call the organization to even higher levels of excellence. I am willing to take the hits from the cynical and the perfectionist, both of whom will complain about the gap. At least the conversation opens up important issues for dialogue and my self disclosure is deeply appreciated by the majority of the organization.


Authentic self disclosure is a significant element in developing trust with others and within an organization. Trust is based on understanding the thinking of leaders, of minimizing surprises where possible, and providing venues for dialogue around important issues. That starts with the self disclosure of a leader who is willing to put the cards on the table and then invite dialogue. Secretive leaders engender mistrust while self disclosing leaders build high trust.


There is another venue for transparency that makes a great difference in ministry organizations and that is transparency over schedules and work. Ministry roles, particularly in the church or in mission work can often be unstructured (not a good thing) and without much accountability to others. Two consequences of this are first a lack of intentionality in schedules and work and second a lack of trust and reliability by leaders who live by the seat of their pants.


Picture a pastor who makes his schedule on the run, does not keep his staff up to speed on his priorities or schedule, and changes direction on the whim of the moment. I have consulted in situations like that and the common complaint is that “We don’t know what he does.” That is a dangerous place for a leader to be because behind that observation is a trust issue. Lack of information breeds mistrust because lack of accountability breeds mistrust.


All senior leaders in our organization make their online calendars available to one another which means that there is information available on what each one is up to. In addition, most months I publish my schedule by day to my prayer team so they can be praying through the month – again transparency and accountability. My point is that transparency in all areas of life is healthy: it models openness, it shuns secretiveness which is dangerous and it is a life of ongoing accountability. Transparency and accountability go hand in hand.


For those in ministry transparency also applies to ministry results. There is a significant tendency and perhaps pressure to speak “evangelistically” about what God is actually doing and the results of our ministries. Truth and honesty are high priorities for people of deep influence. They tell what is not what they wish it was. Dishonesty about ministry results is incompatible with the God of truth. And since ministry fruit is his ultimate responsibility we can leave those results with him.


The key themes here are honesty, openness, transparency and a life of truth all of which are connected to accountability. All of these qualities engender trust and model healthy life practices. Those practices keep our own lives in safe waters as well and contribute to lives of deep influence.

Non self disclosure

There are probably a number of reasons that we choose not to be as self-disclosing or transparent as we could. Perhaps the most common reason is that our pride prevents us from sharing lessons or situations where we have played a role, been less than we should be or really messed up. It is pride that causes evangelicals to wear false masks about their lives, pretending that all is well when in fact, they are struggling with significant life issues.



This is unfortunate because our lack of transparency often prevents other from understanding us, learning from us and allowing our lives to influence theirs. And it is not necessary if we are comfortable with who we are, how God made us and the fact that we are merely cracked pots (Paul’s language) that God graciously uses for his purposes.


There are several churches that I love to attend because there is a transparency among the people that is different than the norm. They are quick to strike up conversations and are equally willing to freely share their story of how they came to faith. There is no pretence or mask. They talk about failed marriages, struggles with pornography, affairs, bankruptcies, pride, relational breakdowns – and how God has redeemed them.


The lack of transparency among so many of us is a tactic to keep our dignity but in reality it hurts the very thing that we want most – spiritual influence. The reason that we go to the Psalms in times of difficulty is that we want honest faith not a fake faith. The reason we attract people when we are transparent is the same – people can relate to honest faith, real life, humanly irreparable situations but not fake faith. Thus the more transparent we are in our own lives, the more real we are to those around us and the more real we are the more influence we can have.


As a general rule, pride hides the true us in order to present an image which is better than we are. Humility (nothing to prove – nothing to lose) seeks to be who we are all the time, genuine versions of us. It is the real us rather than the false us which will be most powerful in the lives of others. People cannot relate to false personas (and usually see through them) but they can relate to real people. Further, simply being who we are means that we don’t need to manage a public me and a private me – a complicated dual persona to keep up. Just being me in the process of God’s transformation is a comfortable and honest place to live.


Since there will not be a perfect me till I see Jesus, I don’t have to pretend that there is. And being an imperfect me gives me the freedom to admit failure or sin or mistakes when they occur and simply say, “I am sorry, will you forgive me.” Those powerful words, too seldom used, bring great respect and the lack of them relational breakdown that can last for decades.


Pride, the nemesis of leaders, often keeps us from admitting our fault and in the effort to look good we end up hurting others and losing influence. It is the antithesis of a transparent life.


Another reason for lack of transparency is fear: fear that we will not look good, fear that others may not like us if they knew the real us and fear that others might use our information against us. On this last point, we clearly need to be wise in terms of what we disclose to whom. The rule is that the level of disclosure goes up as relational trust grows and we never simply disclose everything to everyone.


Think, though about messages you have heard that you really resonated with. Are they simply good theology or are they not also the disclosure of how the one preaching has personally wrestled with the theology? Truth without application is not very helpful. The application is where we most touch and understand the text itself. When I use my own struggles (funny or not) to illustrate the truth, I invite in others who can relate to my story. It happens through transparency and self-disclosure.


Self-disclosure and transparency are a choice that we make about how open we are willing to be. That choice will in large part determine how much influence we have with those around us. Transparency is really about authenticity. It is living with a commitment that we will be who we are with whomever we are with all the time. It is living without masks or facades.


It is also about an unselfish life where we make the effort to invite others into our lives, knowing that there is a price to pay for that: our time and energy. Selfishness says leave me alone – it is easier that way. Selflessness says I care about you and am willing to open my life to you.

Unfinished Business

On December 4, 2007 I went to the emergency room because of severe breathing difficulties. What followed was a 43 day hospital stay, 35 of them in the ICU hovering between life and death. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that I survived against impossible medical odds. I was fifty one years old at the time. It is sobering to me that I never should have woken up from my drug induced coma or seen my 52nd birthday.



None of us know how many days are allotted to us except God who wrote each one of them in his book long before we were born. What we do know is that God gives us the time we need to fulfill His assignment for us on this earth just as He did Jesus. This is why intentional living is so important. We want to live at the intersection of His call and His gifting for His purposes.


Living with clarity is living with the recognition that life is a gift, each day is a day of grace and life’s duration is uncertain. Therefore we want to live with as little unfinished business in our lives as possible. There is great freedom in that because unfinished business is like weights in our backpacks that we carry around – burdens that weigh on our conscience or hearts. That weight can be areas of our lives that we have not completely given to God, relationships that are broken and need reconciliation, things that God has been nudging us about but we have not responded, or other areas of life where we have unresolved issues.


People of deep influence live with great freedom because they are intentional about living with as little unfinished business as possible. To the extent that it depends on them they do what they can to live in the freedom of a clear conscience before God and others. Paul lived this way and wrote to the Corinthians….


Periodically I ask myself what unfinished business there is in my life. Usually there is some since God continually reveals to me new areas where I need to press into Him or pursue a higher level of obedience. We will never be free from all unfinished business until we see Him face to face but continually closing that gap rather than living with the burden is freedom.


This is also why I live with an annual plan (Key Result Areas and my Annual Ministry Plan). In living intentionally rather than accidentally I ensure that I do not forget what God’s big rocks for my life are and that I have a plan for living them out. Each month, on my retreat day I revisit that annual plan and realign my life and priorities around it. At the end of each year I craft my plan for the coming year. This applies to both my professional and personal life.


A critical area for unfinished business is in the area of relationships. This side of heaven we will never be free from conflict in relationships. The Apostle Paul had people who intentionally hurt his ministry. In addition, there were relational breakdowns with Barnabas who had mentored and encouraged him over another relational breakdown with John Mark. Jesus had his detractors in the Pharisees. And in leadership, there will always be people who disagree with a leader’s direction or simply don’t like him or her. It is one of the inevitable burdens of leadership.


People of deep influence understand this. But they are also men and women of peace who are always willing – to the extent that they can – to bring relational peace and understanding. They will go the second and third mile to resolve what can be resolved and then live at peace with what cannot be resolved.


This is not an easy discipline. It means that when others fight dirty with us we don’t respond with their tactics (innocent as doves but wary as serpents). Sometimes, living at peace means that we live with the pain that others inflict and leave our reputations to God. Sometimes it means that we agree to disagree but refuse to fight, slander or impugn those who may do that to us. Sometimes it means sitting down and listening carefully, trying to understand another’s point of view even if we do not agree with is.


This is not about accepting unbiblical behavior – which so often occurs in the church or Christian organizations behind a masquerade of spiritual rhetoric. It does mean that we do not respond in the spirit that others may display toward us and that to the extent that we can we will live at peace with all people. Where we need to confront we will do so with honesty but also the desire for understanding and reconciliation. When that is not possible we may have to take action as leaders but we remain committed to displaying Godly character and not sinning ourselves in our anger or pain.


The test of our character is not when all is going well but when we are under attack. That is when what God has built into our core being, the recesses of our lives becomes evident. People of deep influence are slow to anger, willing to confront in love, always desire understanding and reconciliation, are wise and measured in their response to attack and refuse to adopt the tactics of revenge but leave their reputations in the hands of God.


This last issue of our reputation is perhaps one of the hardest lessons to learn. I have had periods of life where my reputation was dragged through the mud by those who despised me. I don’t know of any good leader who has no had this happen to them. Everything in me wanted to fight back, set the record straight and get even with those who had inflicted deep pain.


One of the most valuable lessons I learned from David in Psalm 73 and 37 is that at the end of the day, God is able to defend my reputation far better than I ever can – and when I try I end up adopting the very tactics that I found repugnant. What God wanted of me is to live with His character, in the power of His spirit and let Him deal with those who hurt me in His (usually) gentle way and allow Him to deal with my reputation. It is in these times when I learned the most valuable lessons of character and leadership.


There is great freedom in keeping unfinished business to a minimum. It is the freedom that comes from living out the clarity of what God has called us to without the burden of heavy emotional loads or unclear consciences to weigh us down.

Saying No and feeling good about it

Living with clarity is all about understanding what God has called us too personally and the team or organization we lead. A test of our clarity is our ability to say no – often – and feel good about it afterwards!



This may sound strange as most of us are wired to say yes – or more accurately, wired to please others. We have been trained that yes is a positive word and no is a negative word. The truth is that for people who live with great clarity of God’s call on their lives, yes is often a negative word and no is often a positive word.


Clarity is understanding who we are and what God has called us to do. By definition that means clarity also defines who we are not and what God has not called us to do. Yet, the activity of our lives, the expectations of others and the opportunities that come to people of influence all conspire to take clarity and turn it into functional ambiguity.


Yes and no are two of the most powerful words in any language. They define what is important to us, what we are called to and how we will invest our time. The test of personal clarity is our ability to use both words and feel good about it because in doing so – even saying no often – we are actually protecting the calling God has on our lives and refusing to be diverted by good but not essential activities.


As a young leader I was more driven by yes than no, both because I wanted to please those I led and because I did not have the focused clarity I have today. The years have been a progression of greater clarity and self-definition driven by better understanding of what God has called me to uniquely do.


This is equally true on an organizational level. Every organization has a mission that defines it and hopefully guiding principles, a central ministry focus and a culture that it is intentionally creating. That clarity of focus can easily be subverted by trying to be everything to everyone, whether in a church or other ministry. Leaders spend a great amount of time and attention to bringing maximum clarity to the organization they lead and then keeping that clarity in front of everyone all the time.


This requires the discipline and the courage to say no to many good things that are not congruent with the main things God has called that ministry to. I lead an international mission whose mission is to see Gospel centered churches multiplied worldwide. While we are holistic in our approach we do not engage in holistic ministry that is unrelated to the multiplication of Gospel centered churches. We are not called primarily to be an aid organization but to see Gospel centered churches multiplied. This means that we must say no to many good opportunities in order to say yes to the call of God on our international mission.


This is the central point either personally or organizationally. A no is really a yes. In saying no to many things we say yes to the specific call of God on our lives or our ministry. Following the call of God is an ongoing series of yes and no choices that keep us in the lane He has called us to be in. Seen in that light, both yes and no are positive words and they represent intentional choices that allow us to fulfill God’s unique call on our lives.


People of deep influence are highly focused individuals who understand, embrace and live out God’s call on their lives. That clarity allows them to maximize their influence in line with their gifting. They understand that diffuse focus yields diffuse results while a laser focus yields powerful results and their choices reflect that intentional focus.


In my role I do a great deal of international travel. While in the past I might do a variety of things internationally, today my focus is very specific: training and mentoring ReachGlobal or national leaders, helping leaders think strategically about their ministries and teaching leadership principles. There are many other qualified individuals who can do other things but this is what I am best at and therefore where I will have the most impact. If these elements are not present I will usually say no to a request for my international presence.


It is the clarity of understanding God’s call on my life and His gifting that allows me to determine what I say yes or no to - and to feel good about the decision. And with that clarity comes great freedom to be the person God created me to be.

Knowing what God has called us to do

Earlier this week I received an updated life plan from a friend which he updates on a periodic basis. It is his best read on what God is calling him to do with his life based on his passion and gifting. Once a month on his personal retreat day he will review that plan knowing that while the specifics of where he might work or the position he might have are unknowns, that the major roles he desires to play are roles that he believes were made for him.



As we mature we come to realize that there are roles in life that we do not want to play and are not gifted for. Knowing what we don’t want to do narrows the field. The next area of helpful clarity is understanding the roles that we believe God created us for and it comes from a deep understanding of our strengths, our God given passions and the formative streams that make up our life story.


This is what I know about myself:


 I love to write and I believe God desires that it be a major part of what I do


 I am a third culture kid to the core who needs international involvement


 I am passionate about the spread of the church globally


 I love to lead and I need an organization to lead


 I care deeply about intentional living


 I love to develop new leaders at a high level


Consider taking a moment and making the short list of what you know about yourself. My own current role would be seen as convergence between what I know about myself and the role I play. Along my career path I had pieces of these but it was not until I was in my late forties that I had all of them. Of course, I did not know myself as well in the earlier years either as self knowledge takes time and experimentation along the way. The good thing is that it is often in our fifties and sixties that we have the most significant influence and a good part of that is being clear about what God has called us to do.


Assuming you took some moments to make the short list, how much convergence is there between what you know about yourself and God’s call on your life and where you are in your current role. My friend who has a life plan has come to the conclusion that he must change roles – and quickly – because he is not in a place of convergence – his sweet spot – and the lack of convergence is causing him significant unhappiness. He is not in a place where he can significantly play to his strengths.


Knowing what God has called us to do is a very freeing thing. That clarity allows us to say no to all kinds of opportunities and the freedom to focus in on those opportunities that best fit us and God’s macro call on our lives. The specifics may change but the macro themes should become clearer and more focused as we move into our fifties and sixties.

Being Comfortable in our own Skin

The self assurance that comes with being comfortable in our own skin is a huge gift when we achieve it. For me it took many years. This is a combination of understanding ourselves, knowing our strengths and shadow sides, and the lane we were made to run in. It is living with a divine OK that we are who we are and that we are not what we are not – and never will be and that too is OK. It is the place where we no longer have anything to prove or lose so there is the freedom to just be who God made us to be.



As a child I was painfully shy. Pictures of our family at the beach always had me holding a book. I had a book everywhere I went and while I had a few close friends, my friendships were not wide. When we arrived back from Hong Kong in 1971 I attended a high school where the idea of travelling was going deer hunting in Wisconsin! My world had been huge, and now I was with people whose world was very small. I fit in but I didn’t.


At the same time I was thrust into leadership positions – youth group, Inter-Varsity, Senior Pastor – an interesting juxtaposition for someone as reserved as I was. And, like many young leaders, I had both confidence in my leadership and suffered at times from insecurity – hidden from others of course. The truth was that I was not yet comfortable in my own skin and lived at times with significant anxiety, especially when I was taking shots from others in the pastorate.


Getting to comfort in our own skin is essential to a leader. It takes time and intentionality. For me it took time to learn to enjoy being an introvert in an extrovert job and today it fits me well. It took time to learn that I didn’t have to have the answer to all problems, or live with anxiety when crisis hit. It took time to learn to trust my instincts when I needed to make a call.


Intentionality is part of the equation too. Learning to live with a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude lifts all kinds of weight from our shoulders. Choosing to be transparent rather than holding our cards close to our vest allows others to understand us. Learning how to be self defining, honest and upfront while still staying connected to those who might disagree with us keeps us in relationship rather than cutting relationships off.


Being OK with who God made me to be is a component of being comfortable in our own skin. I can become a better me but I will always be me and not someone else, no matter how hard I try. I will always be a slightly reserved, analytical leader with a few deep relationships who loves to lead through team, conquer territory for Jesus, enjoys work more than play (fly fishing and time with close friends excepted), is the product of an international upbringing and needs to explore the world and has an irrational optimism for the church of Christ. That is me and I am comfortable with me because God chose to make me who I am. I figure He knew something I didn’t and He is God and I am not! Fortunately for the world there is only one me.


Now here comes the rub for all of us. There will be those who don’t like the me that God made us to be. They want us to be a different version of me that better fits their concept of a leader. I have had my share of those who were convinced either that God made a mistake in the me He crafted or that I was unqualified to be their leader. If you lead, you know what I am talking about. In my early years as a leader, I was tempted to try to be who they wanted me to be but it never worked. God made me the way He made me and I will never be someone else. Today, I am not threatened by those who think I should be a different version of me. Not only will it not happen but it is not what God intended.


This is where leading through team is so important. I have many deficits but the better the team that I have, the fewer those deficits impact the organization as a whole. If someone in the organization does not like my leadership style there is certainly someone on the team that they resonate with.


Understanding ourselves and how we are wired is crucial to becoming comfortable in our own skin. In addition, growing our EQ health is equally important. Those who are comfortable in their own skin either are so because of deep arrogance (I am right so I don’t have to worry about what others think) or are deeply cognizant of who they are (strengths and weaknesses) and are sensitive to the needs and issues of others. The former “comfortableness” is damaging to those around them. The latter is a comfortableness of understanding, wiring, calling, and deep humility that allows one to lead from who God made them to be and with great sensitivity to those around them.


Humility is central to this equation. Pride is concerned about how others see us, being right, managing our reputation and image. Humility is knowing that we have nothing to prove and nothing to lose, that we don’t need to manage our reputation or image and that we are simply broken vessels (the Apostle Paul’s words) whom God uses for His purposes. In fact, I thank God for every fissure and crack in the pottery that makes me who I am because those divine scars made me comfortable in my own skin.

Pursuing Wisdom

Conventional wisdom is always conventional and rarely wisdom. All one needs to do is to look at the life choices so many make to know that true wisdom is in short supply today. The book of Proverbs says that there is no greater gift than that of wisdom which starts with the Fear of the Lord and then cascades down into our lives, relationships, priorities, and ministries. All of life is to be soaked in the wisdom from above (James).



From a Biblical perspective, wisdom is the ability to look at life, situations and relationships from God’s viewpoint and to respond in ways that are consistent with His character but which are also smart and prudent. Wisdom takes into account potential solutions and unintended consequences. It then charts a course of action that is most likely to be productive and minimize the unintended consequences.


From time to time as an organizational leader I have had to intentionally move someone out of the organization because of disruptive behavior. As a leader I have the responsibility to guard the ministry. As a Christ follower, I want to do so in as redemptive a way possible. How I proceed is a matter of wisdom, taking into account all the relevant factors, including the knowledge that the individual in question has a constituency and that if my actions are perceived as being harsh or unfair, they will respond negatively and cause additional issues for the organization.


Wisdom requires the pursuit of God, the pursuit of an understanding of ourselves, the counsel of others and a willingness to go against the tide of conventional thinking. For men and women of deep influence, the pursuit of wisdom and the translation of wisdom into the everyday situations they face is a top priority. A life of wisdom creates a powerful influence because it is a living out of the very wisdom of God.


Wise individuals think deeper, act slower and with more prudence and forethought than those who lack wisdom. Because of their measured responses they are more likely to act with both grace and truth and minimize unintended consequences. They can both think grey and be decisive when they need to be. They are unthreatened by other strong opinions and invite those opinions to the table. They are also wise enough to know what they don’t know and to listen carefully to others. They are genuine pursuers of wisdom.


As I have matured in my own life I have learned that knee jerk reactions to situations are usually more harmful than productive. I have learned to curb my tendency to becoming anxious over situations that produce the need to act “now.” Rather I have learned that time is usually on my side, that trustworthy counselors will keep me from making foolish decisions and that measured responses are far better than quick responses. In essence, I have grown in wisdom and that growth has helped me lead better and has resulted in deeper influence.


I am a fan of the wisdom literature in Scripture. I am challenged by what is classified as “foolish” and drawn to the life of the “wise.” I see where I have been the fool and where I have grown in my wisdom. I am reminded that truly wise individuals are contrarian thinkers in the eyes of the world. They go against the stream of common wisdom. I am also reminded that it is as I think deeply and Biblically and heed the counsel of other wise individuals that I am at my best and avoid my worst. And finally, I am reminded of how far I have to go!