Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Graciousness

The interactions of Jesus with people overflowed with graciousness, gentleness and love. The only exception was when He dealt with the Pharisees and hypocrites (often one and the same) where he appropriately rebuked their heart attitudes. But think of his interaction with the woman at the well, Mary and Martha, Nicodemus, the blind man Bartemaeus and the list could go on. People gravitated to Jesus because of His love, His unconditional acceptance and the grace which He exuded.

Contrast that with the way we often deal with one another in God's family. Hard words, unnecessary barbs, sharpness, putting others down or in their place, calling into question motives, anger, irritation, unforgiveness and words that once spoken or sent in an email cannot be taken back. There is a great deal of ungraciousness among God's people that is incompatible with the example of Jesus and the teaching of the New Testament.

Think about Paul's letter to the Ephesians on this subject. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up...Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other...Be imitators of God...and live a life of love...(Ephesians 4-5)." Or Romans: "Live in harmony with one another...live at peace with everyone...Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another...(Romans 12-13)."

There are times when we must have hard conversations but even in those they can be done with graciousness. Perhaps the hardest people to be gracious to are those we are closest to because it is easy to take them for granted - a spouse or colleague. The test of our graciousness is not those so much we don't know but those we do know and whose weaknesses we are well aware of.

I want to be known as a gracious leader, friend, husband and colleague. There are days when I fail miserably but my desire is to see people and treat people as Jesus did. This includes kindness and warm courtesy, tact, a merciful and compassionate nature, sympathy, and politeness. It is what my late uncle Warren had that caused us all to want to be around him. He was the definition of graciousness and it was a magnet to others.

Loving others is the foundation of graciousness toward them. Further, they are men and women made in the very image of God. Harsh attitudes don't come from God - loving attitudes do.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Triangulation and incestuous information channels

It is not unusual when dealing with dysfunctional organizations, boards or churches that there is a lot of inappropriate conversation taking place. In fact, where there is a lot of gossip, blind copying of emails clogging cyberspace, "confidential" information being shared inside and outside the organization with people who have no business knowing that information, you have a sign of an unhealthy and dysfunctional workplace or board (or wherever it is taking place).

While it is a strong term, I call this kind of dysfunctional communication "incestuous information" because the definition of incestuous is "inappropriately intimate or interconnected." Let me give you an example. In one organization I once knew, employees left disgruntled yet they continued to call others in the organization who kept them up to date with the latest developments (including a former COO). Further, when employees were unhappy with management some of them would call board members to vent (going around their own supervisor). There was gossip inside the organization, outside the organization and information being inappropriately shared at many different levels. Blind copies went places they have no place going and you never knew what information was being shared by whom. It was incestuous in its nature, caused all kinds of relational triangulation and frankly chaos as one tried to sort out what was true, what was not true, and who knew what. I know churches, boards and Christian organizations who fit into this mode. And the key factor is that they are dysfunctional.

Healthy organizations, boards and churches operate with a healthy and clear set of communication guidelines. First, they send confidential information only to the appropriate folks who have a need to know it and if there is a need to copy others it is a cc rather than a blind copy so all us upfront. Blind copies generally mean "this is a secret, don't let anyone know I told you" which can create later problems. At the same time CC's are not sent to those who are not involved as a way of pressuring the party being communicated with. Unnecessary or inappropriate CC's bring others into a conversation that they usually do not need to be involved in.

Second, they never violate their own chain of authority unless it has to do with a moral or ethical violation that causes them to go to a higher level.

Third, they speak well of the ministry they work with to others and don't reveal information that they know because they work there - unless it is available to the general public.

Fourth, they don't triangulate. They deal directly with those with whom they may have issues, not with those who cannot solve the issue and not with those who are not directly involved.

Fifth, they don't gossip or in any way denigrate others, including those they have issues with. Whatever needs to be spoken between two parties who have a dispute stays there and does not spill over to infect other innocent bystanders.

The Apostle Paul makes it clear that gossip is a heart and spiritual issue and he links gossip to other behaviors that are common but unhealthy and unspiritual. "I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder (speaking to the Corinthians, 2 Cor. 12:20). Gossip is actually responsible for a great deal of quarreling, jealousy, anger, factions, slander (by its very nature) and disorder (chaos as above). Arrogance is part of the picture because when I engage in gossip I put myself in a place of judgement over others.

The bottom line is that how we communicate, who we communicate with, how we resolve issues, and whether or not we engage in inappropriate gossip and conversations matters a lot. If chaos and misunderstanding are the result it has gone bad. If order and understanding is the result it has gone well. It is a spiritual issue as well as an organizational issue.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What are you doing to intentionally raise up the next generation of leaders?

Every church, every mission, every ministry is one leadership generation (and that is not a long time) away from decline if we are not deeply intentional about raising up the generation who come behind us. In fact, I believe that our leadership stewardship is not primarily about what happens when we are in leadership, but when we are gone and the long term fruit of our work is either evident or not. And that means that we have paid attention to the sucession to the next generation of leaders in our ministry.

For church boards this often means taking the risk (in the eyes of current board members) to mentor and bring on young leaders who think differently and come with a different perspective than older leaders. And, making them welcome at the leadership table.

For churches with long term pastors who are now in their late fifties or early sixties, it may mean bringing on the next senior pastor and making a transition over a period of years so that the pastoral transition is planned and smooth. The larger the congregation the more helpful this is. It is a change in paradigm from simply waiting until the present senior pastor retires and then hiring someone completely new to the church. That obviously takes a selfless and unthreatened current senior pastor who is willing to share leadership for a period of time and then transition to the new leader as he transitions to either retirement or a different position in the church.

The issue of next generation leadership is particularly critical in mission organizations where my observation is that there is an aging leadership group and where leadership is often given to those who have long experience regardless of whether they have leadership skills or not. Mission organizations today are in a vulnerable position as the world is changing rapidly around them and unless they also change many current missions are going to find themselves in serious decline. I was surprised recently when one large and well known mission replaced its retiring CEO with an individual who was almost his age - as if it needed to guard the status quo rather than embrace the future.

Raising up the next generation of leaders in ministry does not happen without a passion to pass the torch well, to see the ministries we lead flourish and do even better when we are gone and a plan to bring new, younger leaders into key positions with the requisite mentoring and training to help them succeed. Any current leader over fifty ought to be thinking succession even as they continue to lead. Boards of ministries ought to be talking about this issue as well on an ongoing basis as they are stewards of the ministry.

This does not apply only to senior leaders but the the leadership bench throughout an organization. I know, for instance, a new senior pastor of a large church who inherited almost an entire staff of fifty five plus pastors who are locked into two decade old ministry paradigms. He must go through the painful process of bringing on a whole new set of leaders because the board and past senior pastor did not address the issue of leadership succession, or even keep their current staff growing and changing as the ministry grew.

The question for leaders is three fold: What are we doing to raise up the next generation of leaders througout the organization?; Who will replace us? and what are we doing to keep our current leadership staff on the cutting edge and not allowing them to coast toward retirement?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Don't waste your pain

I often talk with ministry professionals who are walking through pain, some very deep. It may be of their own making, more often it is not and sometimes it is grossly unfair - as life often is. My counsel to them is to seperate the source of the pain from how God wants to use that pain in our own lives for our good, our growth and our enhanced leadership potential.

A great example of this is Joseph in the Old Testament. Unfairly accused by his master's wife of trying to seduce her, he spent years in prison. Obviously the charge was bogus and the incarceration unfair. But, God had greater things in mind for Joseph and it was his prison experience which grew his faith and prepared him for what eventually became the second most important job in Egypt. If Joseph had focused on the unfairness of the situation he would likely have grown a bitter spirit. Instead he focused on serving God in the prison and growing his relationship with Him and he emerged stronger and wiser and more mature.

Pain, from whatever source, focuses our lives and gives us the chance to go deeper with God. And God, in His wisdom and graciousness is more interested in our growth in relationship with Him than in our comfort. It is the process He uses to grow our hearts to be like His which is the greatest gift any of us could ever experience.

When we experience pain, there are two focuses we can choose. One is to focus on the source of our pain - often unfair circumstances or unfair people. We do need wisdom in how we respond to people and circumstances to be sure. However, even more important is to focus on what God wants to do in our lives through the circumstances because ultimately we cannot control people and circumstances but we can ensure that we don't waste the opportunity God is handing to us to grow closer to Him, learn more about faith and grace and followership and faithfulness.

Early in my ministry career I walked through some deeply unfair circumstances. Many around me wanted justice for me which from a human standpoint would have been very satisfying. In retrospect, however, I realize that while the situation was not fair, God was up to something in my life that was far more important than the fairness or lack of it. He wanted to change me in ways that only could be accomplished in pain. I am forever thankful for the pain, and that I did not waste the pain by focusing on the wrong things because that pain was responsible for major transformation in my own life over time. I did not get justice: I got something far more precious than justice - I got heart transformation that has spilled over to others ever since.

It is easy when experiencing pain to conclude that God is punishing us, or that we don't have enough faith or have not pleased Him in some way. The reality is that pain is often one of the greatest signs of God's love for us in that through the situation we have the opportunity to press into Him and get to know Him more intimately. Far from being punishment it is often an invitation to come to the One we were made for and experience His peace, presence and relationship.

Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33)."

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Does your church board need help? Most do!


Could your board use some help in the common areas where church boards struggle? Make a small investment in moving toward greater board health and effectiveness!

-Coming to clarity about vision and direction?
-Getting the right people on the board and the wrong people off the board?
-Understanding what the role of church boards is and is not? 

-Building strong unified boards?
-Grow the spiritual commitments of the the board and congregation?
-Being more intentional in leading the church?
-Getting rid of the complicated board structures that strangle ministry in many churches?
-Developing board meetings that are focused and effective?
-Developing a set of guidelines that guard board behaviors?
-Learning how to bring needed change and negotiate that change with the congregation?
-Understand the DNA of your church including the spoken and unspoken values?
-Intentionally developing a more healthy church ethos?

These are the kinds of questions this book will help your board deal with. Eighty percent of churches in the United States are either plateaued or in decline and much of that has to do with how the church leadership leads. If you are weary of the norm and want a better way for your board, this book will help you get there.

Life as a journey from brokenness to wholeness

There are many ways of looking at the journey of life but I am convinced that one of the most important is seeing it as a journey from brokenness to wholeness through our walk with Jesus. One of the ironies of age is that the older we grow the more cognizant we are of our own sinfulness and inherent brokenness. That in itself is a great blessing because it sets us on a path toward the kind of life wholeness that Jesus came to bring. 

One of the most encouraging things Jesus said was that he had come so that we could "have life and have it to the full." The New Living Translation puts it this way. "My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." Jesus desires to enter into our brokenness and bring wholeness - in all areas of life and in all those places where our own fallen nature and sin has brought pain or lessened the joy of life. 


We often look at our sinful tendencies with despair, knowing how often we fall into them and hurt ourselves. Jesus, however, looks at them with hope - the hope that comes from knowing that He came to lift us out of that misery and lead us to a life of greater and greater satisfaction in Him as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit to move from sinful tendencies to righteous tendencies. Jesus is under no illusions as to who we are by ourselves. He has a high and amazing view of who we can be - and are - through His redemption of our lives:

"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession - to the praise of his glory (Ephesians 1:11-14)."


We need to start seeing ourselves as Jesus sees us and in response to his high and exalted view of who He has made us to be, press into those areas where we still live with brokenness and work with Him toward greater wholeness. It is not necessary to live with the disappointment of our brokenness. Rather we can see life as a journey with Christ toward wholeness and do our part in putting off those things that hold us back and put on those things that are like Him and will lead us forward. 

Let's get practical: What is the one thing God has been talking to you about regarding your need to move from brokenness to wholeness? Are you/we willing to focus on that one thing for the next month and allow Him with your cooperation to take the next healing step of your journey? 

There will be a day when we are completely whole - when we see Jesus face to face. The greatest gift we can give to Him and to ourselves until that day is to keep walking from what we were to what God created us to be. It is a journey of hope, healing, anticipation, ever increasing joy as our hearts become more like His heart. Remember we were made in His image and while that image was compromised by sin, He came to reclaim us and His image in us.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Be fully who God made you to be

Timothy, in the New Testament, was like many of us when it comes to using our spiritual gifts - he was timid. He didn't quite know if he should really step into his gifting all the way and go for it. Evidently he held back like many of us do. 

Paul, challenged Timothy on this directly. "I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God...for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self - discipline (2 Timothy 1:6-7)."

It is interesting that Paul tells Timothy that God did not give us a spirit of timidity. Timid means lacking in self confidence or assurance, being shy, fearful or hesitant, lacking in boldness or determination. When it comes to using the gifts God has given us, how many of us fall into that category? We are hesitant to just step into who He made us to be, or fearful of going there - hesitant.

Yet, God uniquely created each of us for a unique purpose and gifted us for that purpose. Paul points this out in Ephesians 2:10: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." There is one unique "us" created to do "good works" which God prepared just for us to accomplish. That is why He gifts us!

So Paul tells Timothy, and us, "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. Power because we use our gifts in the power of His Spirit; love because our gifts are used to build others up and self-discipline because that is what it takes to overcome our reticence to step fully into who and what God made us to be. 

My gifts are in leadership, communication and strategy. God wants me to boldly use those gifts without apology, hesitancy or shyness knowing He gave them to me for His purposes. He wants you to do the same with whatever gifts He has given you. Paul says, enough of this hesitancy, Timothy, God gave you gifts and He wants you to use them in His power to build others up. Don't live fearfully or reticently but use those gifts with boldness, self confidence and determination.

Think of the amazing energy, synergy, power and impact we would have in our congregations if each of us fully stepped into our gifting with the confidence that God intends to use us for His unique purposes in our corner of the world. We would be different and our world would be different. Be completely who God made you to be.