Paradigm shifts and the job of leaders

Paradigm shifts are very hard for most people to grasp. It is not that they are necessarily resistant, lack intelligence or don't want better results. The truth is that we see through a lens that is familiar and the unfamiliar is hard to grasp, especially if it requires us to think differently. The challenge is that the familiar will often not take us into the future. The world changes, and as it does the familiar often becomes our enemy, not our friend.


Interestingly, when change around us is rapid, we often cling to the familiar because it provides us with stability when in reality the familiar is destined to keep us from meeting new opportunities in our changing world. Think General Motors or Kodak. While they clung to the familiar the world changed and they were caught unable to catch up. The familiar was their nemesis.


For example, in the world of missions, the familiar is particularly dangerous as many of the traditional models will not carry water in the future. There are major shifts needed if mission agencies are going to meet the needs of a color world. Local churches must also make shifts in how they view missions strategy. In both cases, the familiar is the nemesis of future success.


This does not mean that what we did in the past did not serve us well in the past. It does mean that ministries need to ask the question of what will best serve them in the future. The future will never look like the past so it is reasonable that much of our methodology in the future will be different than in the past. That means a change in the way we think about what we do and how we do it. It is true in business and ministry. 


The challenge is that we are so used to the familiar that we often do not even question our methodologies. In fact, we often don't even think it is necessary to ask questions about our methodologies which is the real danger. And sometimes, those who do ask the questions are seen as irritants because they are messing with the familiar.


Leaders have the responsibility to take the time to consider where ministries need to go to meet the challenges of the future. That takes time, reflection and a lot of questions. No one else will do it for them. Then, they need to help their staff understand the needs of the future and press into needed changes in paradigms that will help them get there. This takes great courage because it requires us to give up the familiar for the unfamiliar.


Helping staff transition to new paradigms is a necessary, time consuming and dialogue rich discipline. Leaders who do not have the courage to position their ministry for success in the future leave their organization in a deeply vulnerable position. Here is what I know. The future is not like the past so we need to ask what old paradigms need to go and what new paradigms need to be embraced. And then, how do we help our staff and organization embrace new ways of thinking.

Preaching that tells or preaching that helps people think like Christ thinks

There is a real distinction between preaching that tells people what to do and how to do it and preaching that unpacks the text and helps people understand how to apply it in their context. The first tells people what to think while the second helps people evaluate their lives against Scripture and make personal decisions on the basis of the truth that they know.


We have a real need to help people think Christianly. It is easy to share rules and regulations that "evangelicals" would commonly share - which often results in legalism. It takes more skill to help people dig into Scripture and make personal lifestyle decisions based on their understanding of how God's word applies to them along with sensitivity to what the Spirit is prompting within them. 


When we tell people what to do and how to do it we make them dependent on us. When we help people understand how to study the Scriptures and make decisions based on what God teaches we make them dependent on the Holy Spirit. While there are many black and white issues in Scripture that don't allow for differences of interpretation there are also many areas that are grey and require real wisdom to discern what our course of action ought to be. That is where helping people think Christianly becomes very important.


Take the workplace for example, where many of us spend the majority of our time. How does God's word apply the amazingly complex issues we face in that environment? If we are to negotiate the complexities of work we don't need a set of rules but we do need some principles that we measure all of our actions against. It is only those who have developed the ability to think in God like categories who will make a difference in their workplace. Telling people what to do will not cut it. Helping them think Christianly in the unique circumstances they find themselves will. 


The best preaching helps those who listen think like Christ would think. It shares principles from God's word that go to the heart of what it means to follow Jesus and live out the Gospel. And it helps us evaluate our lives against His Word on an ongoing basis. It is less about telling us what to do than about helping us to think in Christian categories and make the application of the gospel to our everyday lives.

Liberating personal clarity

There is something very liberating about understanding how God designed us, what we are good at and therefore where we should focus our time and energies. Just as our closets, trunks and garages accumulate stuff that we don't need, so our lives, schedules and commitments accumulate obligations that we don't need and that don't contribute to our legacy because they are not in our lane. Often they are the accumulated expectations of others for us - everyone has a wonderful plan for our lives!


But so does God and it is His plan for our lives that counts the most. And He designed and wired and gifted us for a purpose. When we understand that purpose and live it out we experience great joy and satisfaction. On the other hand, when we are simply accumulating obligations and activities that are not aligned with His purpose, we experience frustration and decreased happiness. 


I was recently talking to a colleague about how busy and without margin his life had become. He had accumulated so much stuff, so many obligations that life was not fun anymore. Further, much of the stuff was not in his primary lane of where he would make the most impact. He is now in the process of a personal "garage sale" to relinquish many of those obligations so that he can focus on what brings him the greatest joy and will make the greatest contribution to the kingdom.


It is liberating to realize that there are things we can say no too, based on the clarity of what God has called us to do. 


Youth does not lend itself to this kind of clarity but by the time we reach our forties, fifties and sixties we have a much better idea of who God made us to be and therefore where we are most effective. It makes sense that we focus our lives in those directions where God wired us to make the greatest impact. And, to feel free to graciously decline those things that take us away from our impact zone.


What is your impact zone? The place where you are in your lane, shine, feel the greatest joy and make the most impact for Jesus? Are you spending most of your time there or have you accumulated all kinds of obligations that actually take you away from your zone?  Do you need to shed some of the stuff of life so that you can live with more focus?

Robust dialog: Creative conflict that raises the level of missional discourse

Over and over again I run into teams, organizations and groups that do not know how to have candid, honest, robust discussion. As a result there are many elephants in the room that cannot be discussed and which create an underlying mistrust within the group - that is what elephants do. 

Lets define robust dialogue. It is the ability to address any issue in the  team or organization as long as there are not hidden agendas or personal attacks. No personal attacks keeps the discussion at the strategic or organizational level. No hidden agendas means that we are upfront with why we are asking the question or pushing into an issue. Hidden agendas create mistrust while being honest and direct creates trust. 

Unfortunately there are plenty of people who agree with robust dialogue but who are operating with hidden agendas - behind the scenes maneuvering and politics hidden behind a facade of wanting to solve a problem or address an issue. In reality they have an agenda as to where the discussion ends up and they are maneuvering the end result toward their intended ends. This is neither fair nor helpful.

The very concept of robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table as long as there are no hidden agendas or personal attacks is that it is in the strong discourse of different ideas and options that we actually get to solutions that are better than any of us would have come up with individually. But - there must be an ethos on the team, modeled by the leader that it is not only OK but it is valued to put issues on the table (graciously) that need to be addressed.

What prevents robust dialogue? First, leaders who are threatened by anything negative being said - and they perceive any potential criticism as negative. Frankly, that is poor leadership and I would never again work for a leader who was threatened by robust dialogue.

Second, elephants that everyone knows cannot be addressed because the group cannot handle talking about the issue. I was recently with a board that told me there were many elephants in the room that they have not been able to talk about for years and it was those elephants that were keeping them from moving forward. I asked what they were and we proceeded to name them. Once named, elephants are no longer elephants but issues that need to be resolved. Wherever elephants exist, there is not true robust dialogue.

Third, fear keeps some groups from engaging in honest dialogue. The fear is around what it might do to the dynamics of the group. Feeling good about one another and about the ministry takes precedence over honest evaluation of where things really are. Feeling comfortable trumps missional fulfillment. This is where many groups need to grow (up) and put mission before comfort and press into missional health and fulfillment.

Why is robust dialogue so important? Because it is in the conflict of ideas that we come to new solutions and ways of thinking. Those new solutions would never have emerged without the intellectual capital and clash of ideas. That is why ministries that invite and encourage robust dialogue are those who are on the cutting edge of change and effectiveness.

Transitions that can help your ministry go to the next level

 Periodically ministries need to honestly evaluate the present and envision for the future. This is true for teams, ministry divisions, programs or entire organizations. There is a fairly simple way to get at the transitions that one needs to make. It can be done on a white board in four steps. 


This exercise, however, is not for the faint of heart or people who easily become defensive. In fact, the major reason more ministries do not look in the mirror to see what is really there in order to move beyond the present to the future is that they find it hard to be honest about their reality. It is too threatening and intimidating. It is far easier to live with the illusion that all is well than to look at the true facts and face reality. It is ministries that refuse to live with illusion and value looking at reality that continue to move toward more fruitful results.


Step one: Celebrate the past. Make a list of the the good things that you can celebrate about where your ministry is. You will be encouraged by the "wins" you have experienced. Here is an important principle. We celebrate the past but we envision the future. 


Step two is harder: Look under the hood. This will require you to set aside your ego and act like a consultant to your own organization. The goal here is to look beyond all the good things and make a list of the deficits which you know are there. Where is the organization not working well? Where are there silos? How well are you meeting your mission really? What staff are not performing? Where do you have lack of alignment? I tell staff in this step to act like a consultant to their own organization and tell the truth to the organization where there are major deficits. What would an outsider say to you? Be brutal, honest, candid and realistic about what is. Too many leaders are experts at step one but never go to step two because it is too intimidating. One cannot go forward without being honest about where you are.


Step three: What do you wish your organization looked like? Here you want to define your preferred future: you describe the organization, structure, results and organizational culture you believe would be optimal for you to meet your mission, see significant results and organize for maximum synergy. There should be a counter description for every negative you listed when you looked under the hood. What opportunities is the ministry missing today because of how they are organized? If you could build your ministry from scratch today, how would it look to maximize your ministry impact. This is the picture of what you believe you should become. 


Step four: What transitions do you need to make to get to where you are to where you desire to be? In other words, if you were to move from the present to the preferred future while overcoming the issues you discovered by looking under the hood what key transitions would you need to make? Here you are defining the true cost of moving from what is to what you believe needs to be. It is truly your road map to the next level of ministry success and impact. 


The transitions you need to make call the question on the courage of the leadership of the organization. Are we willing to pay the price that needs to be paid to get to where we need and want to go? Often the answer, candidly, is no. We may not want to rock the boat or pay the cost of necessary change - which is why many churches and ministries stall out. Courageous leaders, however, will take up the challenge and determine a strategy to make the transitions because their highest value is not comfort but effectiveness. 


A simple paradigm with powerful results - for courageous leaders only.

A vision without a workable strategy is an hallucination

Vision is a funny thing. Lots of people (and leaders) have vision but many cannot deliver on that vision because they cannot develop a realistic strategy that will allow them to accomplish the vision. That is why a vision without a workable strategy is hallucination: an unfulfillable dream, a false hope and an empty promise. 


The problem with this is that vision usually comes from leaders and leaders have followers and staff. It is staff who have to live with the unmet dreams of their leaders and the implications of chasing a vision that they know is a foolish dream. I remember a leader I once worked for who hired a staff member to accomplish a specific task that was vital to the organization. 


As I listened to the vision of that new staff member and his strategy for how he would accomplish it I knew in my heart that "this dog won't hunt" but I was not in a position to do or say much as I was lower in the organizational chain and this was a senior level hire of a senior level executive. Nor was I asked my opinion.


In this case we wasted three years of effort, built a staff we had to eventually let go and lost one million dollars in the process. And I had to pick up the pieces when it fell apart and the staff member was let go. Not only did we pay huge "dumb tax" for the foolish expectations and their results but the senior leader lost great credibility in the eyes of his staff for leading us down a path that resulted in organizational damage and could have been avoided. The Walter Mitty vision of the senior leader was an hallucination.


It is not that this leader (the one who hired) and the staff member (the one who was hired) did not have a strategy to reach their vision. Their problem was that it was not a workable strategy. It was built on false assumptions, optimistic rather than realistic thinking which did not even move the ball down the field a bit but rather went the wrong direction entirely.


How does one avoid moving mistaking vision for dreams or hallucinations? A key is not to develop vision by oneself. Senior leaders should work the visioning process with other senior staff who must help deliver on the vision. That includes a reasonable, workable strategy for how the organization will accomplish its vision. Usually that will mean changes in the current paradigm or strategy that the organization is using. After all, the current paradigm got you to where you are but was not designed to get you to where you need to go next. 


That raises the question of whether the organization and its leaders are ready and willing to refocus their efforts, personnel and resources toward the accomplishing of the new vision? Adopting a new vision without refocusing the organization toward that new vision is also an hallucination. Refocusing may well mean that some staff who were key in the past will need to be let go in order to accomplish the new. It may well mean that other staff will need to be refocused and even organizational structures changed to meet the needs of a new vision and a new day. It is a grave mistake to assume that your current ministry paradigm will get you to a new vision and the next level.


Here are the kinds of questions that need to be addressed if a vision is going to be more than a dream:

• Is this a realistic vision and is it the right vision for us as an organization?
• Do we have buy in from senior staff toward a new vision and what is our plan to create a guiding coalition within the organization to move in a new direction?
• Do we have a realistic and workable plan to accomplish the vision?
• What are the unintended consequences of moving in our new direction?
• How do we need to restructure staff, budgets or organizational structure to focus on the new vision?
• How will we know if we are being successful and how do we monitor progress?

Vision is a wonderful and necessary element of leadership. But, a vision without a workable strategy is simply a hallucination.

Seven practices of leader learners

The task of leading becomes ever more challenging given the forces and pace of change. In addition, our busyness as leaders gets in the way of our ability to process, think and reflect on the key issues our organizations face now and in the future. There are, however, seven practices of leader learners that can change the very nature of our leadership. I use the term leader learners deliberately. Not all leaders are learners and not all learners are leaders but leaders who are also learners have a powerful combination.

1. Read widely. Anyone looking at my library would say that it is eclectic: biographies, science, psychology, theology, fiction, classics and the new. Wide reading expands our minds to think bigger thoughts, to prompt new ideas and to give us a rich knowledge base from which to draw life, leadership and practical skills. Reading beyond our expertise area is particularly enriching.

2. Ask questions. We are surrounded by people who do interesting things. Regardless of their occupation or expertise, asking a lot of questions expands our own thinking. What is their strategy, what informs their decisions, why did they do what they did, what is the biggest dumb tax they have paid and what are they learning presently? Learn from others.

3. Think deeply. A friend tells me the story of Bill Gates at a resort in Hawaii where he just sat, rocking back and forth for most of a day - thinking. Thinking deeply is a lost art because we have far too many distractions that vie for our attention. Taking the time to think deeply over issues that matter yields insights that are had no other way.

4. Think differently. Common wisdom is very common and often not wisdom. Question everything! Why do we do what we do the way we do it? Are their "game changers" that would take us to a whole new level rather than a small tweak? Look for contrarian thinkers who give you advice that you might not even agree with but which causes you to consider. Innovators are people who are always asking the why question. They can be irritating but they are also the people who leapfrog others because they think differently.

5. Hang with innovators and creative folks. I am not the most creative guy in the world but I know a lot of people who are and the more time I spend with them the more creatively I think. I especially love time with young creative leaders who see life through a different lens than I do at 55. I need them to stay young!

6. Pray for wisdom and insight. They Holy Spirit has intelligence about what we do that we don't! Ask Him for insight and wisdom and expect that He will talk back. I am convinced that the best ideas I have had did not come from me but came from Him. Ask and you shall receive!

7. Whiteboard monthly. Take just one big rock a month, get the right people into a room and have a whiteboard session around that issue. You will be surprised what the combined intelligence will yield compared to you alone. So simple, but it takes time. I rarely tackle an issue alone. I want the multiplication factor of bright folks and their combined intelligence for the best solution.

The common denominator of these seven practices is time and intentionality. Of course that is what it takes to be a leader learner.

Are you beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists?

Eric Hoffer puts his finger on a critical truth when the world in which we live is in significant change.  “In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” 

One of the central jobs of a leader is not to specialize in what is today but to anticipate what will be tomorrow. It is to live in the present and the future at the same time knowing that the present will soon be history and the future will soon be today.

Take the US Postal Service which is hemorrhaging red ink as people send far fewer letters. The day the first fax was sent was the day that the Postal Service became obsolete. But no one noticed. Today they are begging junk mailers to send more stuff because the rest of us are using email. They are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

Or think of the evangelism strategies of most local churches which assume that people who don't know Christ will come to our church and find Him through some program. For the most part that world no longer exists but the church has not yet noticed. While we are beautifully equipped to put on programs that share the gospel at church the people we want to reach are less and less likely to come to church! The future is going to where people are who need Jesus, not expecting them to come to us - but the church continues to be blissfully unaware that it is bringing the gospel to every sector of life and work that is the key to evangelism.

The most beautifully equipped institutions to deal with a world that no longer exists are seminaries who continue to sell us on the idea that one cannot minister effectively without their education which entails sitting at the feet of the professors for four years. In the meantime many of the most effective workers today are being raised up in the context of ministry, are getting their education on the job and are not infected with the traditional ministry paradigms that still drive the church world. But try to get ordained in most denominations without a seminary education! We have professionalized ministry but the future is the releasing of people into ministry who are called, creative and equipped but not necessary in traditional ways. It almost sounds like the New Testament church!

I work in the world of missions where the whitewater of change is huge. As a group, western missions are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Today it belongs to those who are equippers of indigenous workers, rather than those who are still doing what nationals could be doing better than they. 

If you lead anything, one needs to be living in the present and the future simultaneously or run the real risk of becoming museum pieces beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Learners inherit the earth. Learners are those who are paying close attention to the changing environment and are adapting to that change. Learners know that the status quo is not static for long and that tomorrows realities will be different than today's. There are plenty of people who are beautifully equipped to deal with today's realities. Leaders are learners who are equipped to anticipate the needs of tomorrow which will be today all too soon.

Group think and courageous interlopers

It happens on boards, among staff members, in congregations and even among friends: group think. A common opinion or shared course of action even when there is evidence that there is another side, another option or even an elephant in the conversation that is being ignored. But the dynamics of the group and peer pressure prevent people from going there. Sometimes it is easier to just agree and pretend that the elephant is not there.

Enter the interloper - "one who jumps into the midst of things," (Webster) and says, "hmm, wait a minute, what about?, have you thought about?, I think we are possibly missing something here, let's talk about the real issue, there is an elephant we are not willing to discuss so I am going to put it on the table."

This is not an easy role to play and it needs to be played carefully. But it is a necessary role for those who are courageous enough to do it. Disagreeing with group think can be an unpopular role to play and thus needs to be done with grace and humility. But, when there are issues behind the issues that are being ignored for comfort or convenience, someone with courage can do the organization a favor by at least putting it on the table. Once on the table, others may be willing to consider it. 

Mature individuals are self defined individuals. They are able and willing to speak their mind without being disagreeable, able to disagree while remaining relationally connected and are not intimidated by being a lone voice with both conviction and humility. They don't have to get their way but they are also not going to ignore issues that are part of the equation. In a word, they are wise without being obnoxious.

Church boards need courageous interlopers from time to time who are willing to press in where others will not go. So do staff teams and even groups of friends. It is not easy but sometimes necessary.

Job One of a Leader

Many ministry leaders miss the single most important factor for success (apart of course from the Holy Spirit). That one factor is the key to charting the right course, staying on that course and seeing everyone go in the same direction. Very simply it is clarity of who you are, where you are going and how you will get there.


The lack of clarity is one of the key reasons that otherwise good ministries stall out, plateau, suffer from multiple silos and disconnected programs and eventually move into decline. It happens to churches and ministries frequently.


My conviction is that the first job of any leader is to provide maximum clarity to those they lead about who they are, where they are going and how they will get there. The second job is to ensure that there is alignment around that clarity and the third job is to ensure that there are results that reflect that clarity. Specifically, there must be clarity on mission (why do we exist?), guiding principles (what are our non-negotiables?), central ministry focus (what do we need to be doing all the time?), and culture (what do we want to leave behind?). 


That sounds easy but it is actually takes significant work to define these correctly. Define them right and you will get traction. Define them wrong and you may be chasing after the wrong things. Don't define them at all and you are just hoping that you get to where you want to go which you probably will since the destination is undefined! 


Think about this. Without clarity:
-People will go in whatever direction they think they should go.
-You cannot hold people accountable for specific and objective results.
-There is no ministry wide alignment or focus because there is no clear definition.
-People will fill in their own definition of their own clarity leading to multiple visions, directions and silos. You will never have people on the same page!
-There is no unifying vision or common mission.
-You will not attract or retain the best people because they will not be content to give their energies to an undefined goal.
-You never know whether or when you have achieved success.
-Followers become disillusioned because they sense the fogginess of purpose which eventually leads to conflict.
-Someone other than the leader will step into the gap with their clarity and eventually undermine the leadership of the leader (who is not leading).
-You end up with an accidental culture rather than an intentional ministry culture.


Put in that light, the clarity issue clearly becomes critical.


What keeps leaders from getting to clarity for their team, church or organization? For some it is conflict avoidance as defining clarity is inevitably going to create robust dialogue and conflict as to what the clarity should be. For some it is a matter of focus. They are too focused on other things that they miss the main thing. For some it may be a lack of understanding how to get to clarity. (For those in this camp, take a look at my book, Leading From the Sandbox, chapters two, three and four that are all about getting to clarity).


In my role as an organizational leader I consider job one that of providing maximum clarity to those I lead and am the chief evangelist of that clarity. Why? Because I am convinced that the clarity we have around the four key questions of mission, non-negotiables, focus and culture are the very things that are going to get us to the greatest success. There are many things I could do but neglecting this one would cause the whole organization to suffer. On the other hand, the more focused we are on our clarity the greater our success will be. 


Clarity is challenging but it is job one of any leader. Miss that responsibility and everything suffers. Get it right and everything else is enhanced. 

Leaders and critical thinking

One of the unique roles leaders play for their team or organization is the discipline of critical thinking: Where are we going? How will we get there? What are we going after? What spells success? Do I have the right people? Are they situated in the right "lane"? Is there absolute clarity around our mission? What are the priorities for this coming year? Who will take over if I am taken out of the picture? Are we maximizing our spiritual influence? and the list could go on. 

Taking the time to reflect on the most important questions that help a ministry flourish is one of the key jobs of a leader. Because it is a hidden practice (it is not up front) and because it is not a physical activity, it is often lost in the busyness of all the other things leaders must do. Yet this basic discipline is the most critical thing a leader should be doing on an ongoing basis. 

If a leader does not pay attention to this area of their leadership role, someone else in the organization who thinks deeply often will. They will be the ones asking the right questions and trying to help the team define clarity and success. Ironically, people will gravitate to and often follow the individual who can help the organization think critically whether they have the title of leader or not. While many do not have the skill for critical thinking (they are primarily doers), most desire to have clarity about what they are about, where they are going and how they will get there.

As the leader of an organization, I actually build into my schedule, thinking and writing days or weeks. They are intentionally kept clear for the discipline of thinking, and then clarifying through writing. I also have some key members of my staff who are great critical thinkers and regularly we will call a meeting in a room full of white boards to tackle a significant issue. In fact, the majority of my meetings are designed to do problem solving, get to clarity on an important issue, rethink how we are doing what we do and maximize our impact. 

The discipline of critical thinking extends to hires that we make as well. There are few decisions that are more critical than the people one hires. They will either help drive the ministry forward or keep it back. The higher the level the hire, the more true this is. Thus, investing significant time in evaluating, dialoguing with, listening to and thinking through the strengths and weaknesses they bring to the ministry is crucial. 


There are consequences to every decision we make. Part of critical thinking is to ask the question: What are the unintended consequences of the decision we are considering. All decisions have consequences, it is the unintended consequences that we need to identify because they can compromise the very thing we are trying to accomplish. Knowing them becomes part of the critical thinking equation.


In a complex world, critical thinking is often a group activity. While I do a great deal of thinking about organizational issues alone, I never pull the trigger on a major decision without involving my key ministry colleagues. The power of combined thinking and wisdom is far higher than the wisdom of any one of us by ourselves. This is also why I often call meetings of key individuals to together tackle an important issue.

This requires a spirit of humility and collaboration on the part of leaders. Lone ranger leaders, no matter how great their critical thinking skills are will not maximize their organization's potential by themselves. We need other critical thinkers around us as well as their buy in - and if we together are part of the solution, we will all buy into that solution.

Good thinkers are also people who seek the wisdom of colleagues from other ministries to find out what they are experiencing, how they are tackling like problems and what "dumb tax" they have paid that you should avoid. If ministry leaders talked more often and with greater candor we would together raise the bar for all of our ministries.


Critical thinking is a hallmark of leaders who stay in front of those they are leading, always asking the right (and hard) questions, and always looking for better solutions to maximize the spiritual influence of their organization. It is also the route to innovation!

Teaching our children and grandchildren how to think

The art of thinking critically is being lost in the west at an amazing rate. The spirit of relativism, television, the loss of reading, popular culture all conspire to rob our kids and grand kids of the most important skill they could every acquire, the ability to think, to reason, to work through a problem logically and come to a logical conclusion. We cannot change the world in which our kids and grand kids live but we can give them the gift of helping them to think well.


With our two boys the forum for thinking was often our dinner table. Anything was fair game from politics, to church, to work issues to current events or the drama at school. In those conversations we would often ask questions to draw out their thinking. The boys would challenge us and one another and we them. It was a wonderful conversational free for all that put ideas on the table and didn't separate adult conversation from kids conversation. Often the conversation was alternatively serious and then very funny. 


Kids love to talk, play with ideas and express themselves. The simple act of dialogue where there is a back and fourth with lots of questions that help them clarify their thinking, reasoning and conclusions is a gift that will stick with them for a lifetime. In the process they learn critical thinking skills that help them separate current sophistry from truth.


In fact, helping kids understand that there is truth, that there are absolutes that we can count on is huge today because the relativism they grow up with in school is "you have your truth, I have my truth and both are true" (a non sequitur if there ever was one: But wait, that is logic!).  That kind of garbage thinking is raising a whole generation of kids to believe that anything and everything can be true simply because one believes it. As the British would say, that is pure, unadulterated rubbish! The shallowness of our political dialogue today is testimony to the fact that politicians count on the fact that people don't think. So much of what is said is pure rubbish but taken as fact.


All of this means taking time with our kids and grand kids. Their ability to think well impacts their faith, their personal lives and their vocations. It separates those who get their truth from Oprah and Chopra and those who understand real truth from Scripture. The ability to reason, to work through an issue logically and be able to defend it with real facts is a dying but necessary skill to successfully negotiate life and faith. Make that investment in the next generation and you will have given them a great gift.