I recently received an email from a dear friend who had been asked to speak at an event and was struggling with doubt that they were qualified to be on stage, talking about the subject. It is not that they are a poor speaker or don't know the subject. It was inner doubt about whether they were truly worthy to address the audience. They verbalized to me (asking for prayer) what many of us struggle with: we do not feel worthy to represent Jesus. We don't feel worthy because we live with various versions of shame. Shame for what we have done, shame that we will never be good enough, shame that we are not worthy. Shame that we will never be good enough.
That shame sometimes comes from our family of origin where we were given the message that we will never amount to anything. It can come from sin in our past that we believe disqualifies us from being used by God. It can also be the whisper of Satan telling us that we are unworthy. And in case you doubt he would say this, remember that he is called the father of lies and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) while Jesus comes to bring life and life abundant. Satan specializes in shame while Jesus specializes in freedom from shame though his death on our behalf. Satan floods us with shame while Jesus releases us from shame. Satan says you are not worthy. Jesus says, you are fully worthy because of me.
Here is the truth. None of us are worthy in ourselves to represent Jesus but Jesus has made us fully worthy through His son Jesus. But if he has made us worthy he has also made us "fully worthy." He has released us from all sin and shame and inadequacy for He is our adequacy. We literally walk and live in His divine AMEN on our lives. His face is turned toward us and His smile is upon us. There is no shame in His presence for those who have been redeemed and forgiven. There is only freedom and joy and blessing.
Each of us struggle with some version of shame. Jesus wants to release all of that. Satan says you have no destiny. Jesus says you have an amazing destiny. The former is a lie while the latter - through Jesus - is absolute truth. Satan wants us to hold back fearful of our destiny. Jesus wants us to fully step in the destiny He handcrafted for us (Ephesians 2:10).
Don't let shame hold you back. Release it to Jesus and step fully into your destiny. It is His destiny for you.
(written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Quick links and index to all of my blogs on church boards and governance
High Impact Church Boards and Leading From The Sandbox are both back in print
For organizations or churches who order either of these books for their board or staff I offer a free Skype meeting to discuss questions or principles.
Church boards who live with their heads in the sand
Pastors, staff and board members who use inappropriate language, emotions and actions
Eight reasons that boards do not address known issues of a senior leader
A dialogue between TJ Addington and Tony Morgan of the Unstuck Group on church governance
Signs that leaders are leading from a posture of fear and insecurity
A YouTube video that illustrates much church leadership
Some of the worst things leaders can do when there is controversy or conflict in the church
Congregational meetings and church health
The use of church discipline to control people or shut down discussion in the church
Nine church board mistakes I have been seeing lately - from Tony Morgan
15 unfortunate things boards do
Why boards can be so frustrating to serve on and how to solve it
Passive boards and controlling boards: Both are dangerous
Dumb things church boards do
Practices of healthy boards
Big rocks, pebbles and sand
Signs of a dysfunctional church board
Signs of healthy and unhealthy boards
When board members don't get their way
When boards are unable to police their own
Conflict and problem avoidance create sick churches
Choosing and preparing new board members
Church board development
The failure of church boards to realistically evaluate ministries they oversee
Church boards and church culture
Violations of good board behavior that kill good governance
Healthy board/pastor relationships in the church
Church renovation
Undiscerning church boards: A case study
Should a church be run like a business
Church boards and fear
Church culture trumps everything
Church boards and failure of courage
Staff and board relationships in the local church: What is healthy and what is unhealthy
Split boards, split congregations
The profile of an effective church leader
9 Principles for healthy governance in the church
Eight kinds of people who should not serve on a church board
Every congregation is one leadership board away from trouble and decline
When leadership boards become the barrier to church growth
Rethinking leadership selection in the church
Church board self assessment: 15 questions
Guard the gate to your church leadership
Boards that are not united and don't face reality
Antiquated church governance systems that hurt the mission of the church
Our church governance systems do matter!
Four key church board documents
What boards and pastors need to know about each other
Operate without a church board covenant at your risk
A failure of nerve
Bold or timid church leadership
When board members allow friendship and relationship to overshadow their governance role
When should a church change their governance system?
Board members and their intellectual capacity
Courageous church leaders
Church leadership and trust
Effective churches have pastors and boards with a bias toward strategic action
Empowering pastors
Spiritual discernment in ministry leadership
Signs that your church board needs renovation
When elephants fight the grass gets trampled
Ten marks of a united church leadership board
The five dysfunctions of ministry organizations
When everyone is in charge no one is in charge
Should church staff serve on the elder/leadership board?
Why boards must always speak with one voice
Interminable board meetings
Churches and group think
Paying greater attention to gifting when it comes to those we put into church leadership
Not ready, proceed slow, lets go: When leaders resist change!
Is your church more missional or institutional?
Board evaluation
Toxic team and board members
I cannot find good leaders for my church
Unspoken board discussions
Checks and balances in church leadership
Proactive or reactive leadership
Ministry accelerators and anchors
"I knew I should have said something."
The dysfunction of control in ministry organizations
Leadership board time outs for reflection
Dealing with organizational elephants
Choosing the right leaders in your church: You get what you deserve.
The biggest favor you can do for your pastor and your church
Want to grow your staff/leadership board?
Candid discourse among church leaders
Four skill sets every team and board can profit from
Who is best qualified to serve as an elder or church leader?
Rethinking the relationship between pastors and lay leaders
Continuing the question as to whether staff should serve on the elder board
Does your church have a meaningful job description for your senior pastor?
Policy governance in the church: An overview
Willow Creek and governance lessons: A watershed moment
Help your board do self-evaluation of their work with seven evaluative statements
Seven personal behaviors for the best board work
Why boards need to change as an organization grows
How do you measure the success of your organization?
If your board needs help, I can help
Five simple principles for governance in churches and non-profits
With over thirty years of working with boards I am available to help your board be the best they can be. Whether remotely using technology or in person, together we can make substantial strides toward healthier and more missional board work.
As the author of High Impact Church Boards I have worked with thousands of board members to ensure that the right people end up on an organizations board, that the board is intentional in its work and that the culture of the leadership system is empowering rather than controlling. Cost is kept to a minimum by using technology like Go To Meeting, or I can join you in person for governance training or retreats.
I can be contacted at tjaddington@gmail.com or 615.840.1676. I look forward to talking to and working with those who desire to raise the level of their board's effectiveness.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Interview with Steve Hayner of InterVarsity and Columbia Seminary: People tend to die like they've lived.
Died: Steve Hayner, Former President of InterVarsity and Columbia Seminary
"As a pastor I’ve observed that people tend to die like they’ve lived. Most people will face death in the same way they have faced other things in their lives. Anyone who knows you or Sharol would say this process feels as though this is exactly how you would go through this time."
Steve Hayner interview
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Organizational change and the angst it creates
Organizations face change in predictable situations. That change - often brought by a new leader must be done in ways that minimize the anxiety and uncertainty to staff and constituents. That means that good process must be run, input sought, dialogue practiced and there are no great surprises. Even with this, however, needed change is hard and often causes anxiety among leaders, staff and boards.
In major organizational change it is not unusual that some people choose to leave or are let go. This is normal. Often, those individuals have alliances, friendships or relationships with others who take up their case and put pressure on the powers that be to change their minds. This is normal. If both of these are normal, we ought not allow their presence to cause anxiety or concern. It is an inevitable part of the change process.
In major organizational change it is not unusual for those who don't like the change to make their gripes public. This is normal. They are unhappy and are likely to take it out on the leader who is bringing changes to the organization. Assuming that this leader is bringing change with sensitivity and concern for those involved, there is no reason to back down simply because unhappy voices are heard. They are usually responding out of fear rather than animosity. It is a normal part of the change process.
Change brings with it a need for people to make choices about their ongoing participation in the organization. Long time leaders may choose to leave - graciously or ungraciously. Often staff and boards take this as a sign that there is something fundamentally wrong with the changes taking place. Not necessarily! It is often simply that they don't want to make the personal changes they would have to make to fit into the new paradigm. That is not good or bad but simply a decision as to how they respond to the new paradigms. This is normal and to be expected. Even board members may choose to exit as they realize that it is a new day with new leadership and new paradigms. Again, this is normal.
Major organizational changes can bring a high level of anxiety to an organization. Most people are by nature change adverse - middle and late adapters, and laggards. Change brings uncertainty and uncertainty makes many uncomfortable and discomfort causes a level of dysfunction as the ground seems to be shifting for those who love stability. In these times of change there can be a high level of angst among staff. This is normal. Indeed, there is no way to negotiate change without angst and uncertainty.
The common thread here is that these responses to change are normal and should be expected. In addition, they are not a sign that the organization is failing or falling apart. If anything they are signs that necessary changes are underway (organizations that do not change die) and that someone with courage is leading. As long as good process is being followed (and that is a big deal), we should not be intimidated by push back to change. It will happen, it is normal and it is the price of bringing needed change.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
In major organizational change it is not unusual that some people choose to leave or are let go. This is normal. Often, those individuals have alliances, friendships or relationships with others who take up their case and put pressure on the powers that be to change their minds. This is normal. If both of these are normal, we ought not allow their presence to cause anxiety or concern. It is an inevitable part of the change process.
In major organizational change it is not unusual for those who don't like the change to make their gripes public. This is normal. They are unhappy and are likely to take it out on the leader who is bringing changes to the organization. Assuming that this leader is bringing change with sensitivity and concern for those involved, there is no reason to back down simply because unhappy voices are heard. They are usually responding out of fear rather than animosity. It is a normal part of the change process.
Change brings with it a need for people to make choices about their ongoing participation in the organization. Long time leaders may choose to leave - graciously or ungraciously. Often staff and boards take this as a sign that there is something fundamentally wrong with the changes taking place. Not necessarily! It is often simply that they don't want to make the personal changes they would have to make to fit into the new paradigm. That is not good or bad but simply a decision as to how they respond to the new paradigms. This is normal and to be expected. Even board members may choose to exit as they realize that it is a new day with new leadership and new paradigms. Again, this is normal.
Major organizational changes can bring a high level of anxiety to an organization. Most people are by nature change adverse - middle and late adapters, and laggards. Change brings uncertainty and uncertainty makes many uncomfortable and discomfort causes a level of dysfunction as the ground seems to be shifting for those who love stability. In these times of change there can be a high level of angst among staff. This is normal. Indeed, there is no way to negotiate change without angst and uncertainty.
The common thread here is that these responses to change are normal and should be expected. In addition, they are not a sign that the organization is failing or falling apart. If anything they are signs that necessary changes are underway (organizations that do not change die) and that someone with courage is leading. As long as good process is being followed (and that is a big deal), we should not be intimidated by push back to change. It will happen, it is normal and it is the price of bringing needed change.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Monday, February 9, 2015
15 life giving behaviors of healthy leaders
There are some life giving behaviors that good leaders engage in and live by. It is what sets them apart from other leaders, gives them great credibility and earns them the loyalty of their staff. It is also what makes their ministry or team successful. I say life giving because they give life to people and to the mission of the team or organization.
One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission, not on themselves. While relationships are critical the best glue is missional glue.
Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower rather then control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact they intentionally look for people who are better than they are in the areas they lead.
Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowering and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front and they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.
Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen and leaders know that if it happens on their watch they need to take responsibility. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations but in public, there is no blame.
Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues that are not dealt with hurt staff and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the tough places.
Six: Good leaders build a healthy life giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, common mission, cooperation and humility.
Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position and lead the way by example.
Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture.
Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'
Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is important. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.
Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit. It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and who are totally non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.
Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table as well as greater by-in. Few truly good staff will stay long term without having a voice at the table.
Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.
Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. It is critical to the ministry to develop the next generation of leaders.
Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to leave.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission, not on themselves. While relationships are critical the best glue is missional glue.
Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower rather then control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact they intentionally look for people who are better than they are in the areas they lead.
Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowering and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front and they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.
Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen and leaders know that if it happens on their watch they need to take responsibility. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations but in public, there is no blame.
Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues that are not dealt with hurt staff and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the tough places.
Six: Good leaders build a healthy life giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, common mission, cooperation and humility.
Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position and lead the way by example.
Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture.
Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'
Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is important. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.
Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit. It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and who are totally non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.
Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table as well as greater by-in. Few truly good staff will stay long term without having a voice at the table.
Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.
Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. It is critical to the ministry to develop the next generation of leaders.
Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to leave.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
The art of lifting others up rather than lifting ourselves up
I am convinced that the true test of humility and servanthood is that of lifting other up, helping them succeed and flourish rather than lifting ourselves up. Jesus modeled this when He made it clear that He was about His Father's business and everything He did was to make His Father look good. What is amazing is that Jesus was part of the Godhead and yet he continually lifted the Father up.
All of us have emotional needs and egos. It is hard to lift up others at our expense - and I am convinced that this is a result of the fall and our need to be number one and the one in the spotlight. Yet, what is most important is not our own ego needs but that we make Jesus well known and His reputation great. It is never about us so why do we make it about us?
When Paul talks about treating others as more important than ourselves he is both emulating the example of Jesus and teaching us how important is is to focus on others rather than ourselves. The lower nature focuses on us. The fruit of the Spirit focuses on others more than ourselves. A mark of maturity is our willingness and desire to see others succeed rather than ourselves be in the limelight.
I don't pretend this is easy. Our pride wants to trumpet ourselves. Humility trumpets others. Our pride wants the credit. Humility gives credit away. Our pride wants the spotlight. Humility gives the spotlight to others. Why? Because what matters in the end is not our celebrity but our influence for Jesus. For most of us, that influence is behind the scenes and seeks to lift others up rather than ourselves.
This is a battle most of us who are in leadership will fight all of our lives. I want to win that battle. After all, life is not about me. It is all about Jesus. To the extent that I get that and live that I will be successful. Ironically, to the extent that I promote myself I will be unhappy and unsuccessful because the more self promotion we do the more we need. We choose which path we take. Either life is about us or it is not.
Staff know which route leaders take. They know when it is about the leader and they know when it is about the leader doing all they can to make them successful. We may fool ourselves but we never fool those we lead. Hopefully we don't fool ourselves either! It indicates our pride or our humility.
Ironically, the more we lift others up the greater our influence for the Kingdom. In doing so we multiply ourselves.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of us have emotional needs and egos. It is hard to lift up others at our expense - and I am convinced that this is a result of the fall and our need to be number one and the one in the spotlight. Yet, what is most important is not our own ego needs but that we make Jesus well known and His reputation great. It is never about us so why do we make it about us?
When Paul talks about treating others as more important than ourselves he is both emulating the example of Jesus and teaching us how important is is to focus on others rather than ourselves. The lower nature focuses on us. The fruit of the Spirit focuses on others more than ourselves. A mark of maturity is our willingness and desire to see others succeed rather than ourselves be in the limelight.
I don't pretend this is easy. Our pride wants to trumpet ourselves. Humility trumpets others. Our pride wants the credit. Humility gives credit away. Our pride wants the spotlight. Humility gives the spotlight to others. Why? Because what matters in the end is not our celebrity but our influence for Jesus. For most of us, that influence is behind the scenes and seeks to lift others up rather than ourselves.
This is a battle most of us who are in leadership will fight all of our lives. I want to win that battle. After all, life is not about me. It is all about Jesus. To the extent that I get that and live that I will be successful. Ironically, to the extent that I promote myself I will be unhappy and unsuccessful because the more self promotion we do the more we need. We choose which path we take. Either life is about us or it is not.
Staff know which route leaders take. They know when it is about the leader and they know when it is about the leader doing all they can to make them successful. We may fool ourselves but we never fool those we lead. Hopefully we don't fool ourselves either! It indicates our pride or our humility.
Ironically, the more we lift others up the greater our influence for the Kingdom. In doing so we multiply ourselves.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
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