Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The ability to do critical analysis of staff

A key skill of leaders is that of being able to do critical analysis of people they lead. Critical analysis is not about being critical. It is about the ability to realistically understand and honestly evaluate strengths and weaknesses of people (we all have them) and not to gloss over problematic issues or areas of needed growth.

Many corporations require, for instance, that a supervisor defend the annual review he/she does for subordinates with other select individuals. The reasons is that they want a realistic and honest evaluations rather than glossing over needed areas of growth. They know that without honest discussion, it is possible to ignore important issues.

This matters because one of the most important roles of a supervisor is to help their staff grow and develop and become all that they can be. Unless they are serious about discerning the areas of need growth this will not happen. In the ministry world it is often, frankly ignored to the detriment of staff growth.

It also matters because a lack of such critical analysis impacts others in the organization who either flourish or suffer on the basis of the health of leadership.

Here are some evaluative questions for staff who lead others:

  • Do they both empower others but stay connected in order to help them achieve their goals?
  • Are they clear on what their missional agenda is and do they communicate it clearly?
  • Do they keep their staff focused on the missional agenda at all times?
  • How intentionally do they coach their staff?
  • Are they able to do critical analysis of their staff in order to position them for success and keep them growing?
  • Do you see regular growth in their leadership skill and emotional intelligence? Where do they need to grow?
  • If there was one thing that would make a major difference in their leadership, what would it be?
  • How focused and disciplined are they in their work?
  • Where would they benefit from coaching and growth?
  • Are they candidates for a higher level of responsibility? If so, what additional experience do they need to become qualified?

Friday, August 24, 2012

Moving a church from deeply institutional to missional

Those who are attempting to move a church from institutional to missional face a daunting task, but not one that is impossible - with a lot of prayer, wisdom and perseverance. In fact it is a job to attempt only with eyes wide open, knowing that this is one ministry where a fair amount of blood can be shed before it is accomplished.

As I often point out, congregations have a very specific and ingrained genetic code. They do not change easily and the longer they have been in existence, the stronger the resistance to change. People inside a system often cannot imagine or picture life outside the system and since what is works for them, they have no incentive to move to what could be. Churches are like family systems and family systems are difficult to change.

Resistance to change often leads to sinful and obnoxious behaviors when someone seeks to bring renewal (seen as unneeded change). YouTube has many examples of church fights (ah the wonders of everyone having a cell phone) and behavior that would be funny if not so tragic. 

People may say things, assume things, accuse others of things that are downright nasty and to say the least lack the character of Jesus. Even if their motives are not bad (and we cannot judge those), behaviors can be truly destructive. Remember that it is a family system that naturally moves toward protecting the comfortable and known status quo.

And then there are the politics of power which can be as unhealthy in a congregation as in the workplace. Remember, someone has a vested interest in what is. They helped create it and they have had influence within it. To suggest moving away from what is can be a threat to those who created it and they may well resist that movement knowing that if it happens it impacts their influence in negative ways. 

The resistance may well not be overt but rather is often passive aggressive and therefore more difficult to pin down and deal with. If you are going to challenge the status quo be very sure what individuals you are also challenging and be aware of how they may respond. Be realistic about how they may respond rather than taken by surprise. 

An absolute key is to get the right people in leadership to provide a guiding coalition of resolve to move the congregation in healthier directions. This means finding ways to move the wrong people out - those who will resist the move from institutional to missional. Until there is a core of healthy resolved leaders, it will be an uphill and often impossible road.

Recognize that this is a spiritual battle as institutional and inward focused churches are not a threat to the enemy while intentional, missional and outward focused churches are. An ongoing and unrelenting prayer strategy is essential to make the shift.

A key is to appeal to those in the congregation who want to accomplish something for God. You will probably not convince those who are deeply opposed to change so it is not worth your time trying to do so. In fact, you may assume that there will be people who will always be convinced that you have ruined their church no matter what transpires. The constituency you want to appeal to are those who are more interested in reaching people for Jesus than they are in guarding the status quo.

Expect that people will leave the church. Whenever major change takes place some people will get off the bus. This is normal. If your board is united and you are moving the church toward health do not let the fact that people leave threaten you. They may well be very happy where they go and what is at stake are many who will never hear the gospel unless the church becomes healthy.

Be resolved about your direction but remain kind and gentle to those who disagree. Listen to those who are unhappy but stay the course. This is not about people liking you. Rather it is about helping the church become the church it was meant to be. In the middle of such a transition you are likely to be deeply discouraged and wonder if you did the right thing. That is not the time to abandon ship. It is the time to see the change process through. In fact, to start the process and then leave in discouragement may well do more harm to the congregation than if one had not attempted to bring change in the first place.

Be clear where the leadership believes the church needs to go and what that looks like. Celebrate small wins as people respond to the new vision and live it out. This will reinforce the new values and practices in a powerful way. It also gives people hope that the church will emerge on the other side of change.

Finally remember that this is not about whether people like you. It is about whether the congregation becomes what God wants it to be. In the process you may take major hits. It is the nature of leading through change. It is not comfortable but it is natural. Good leaders have counted the cost, have major resolve and stay the course with their eyes fixed on what can be, not what currently is.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Emotional Intelligence of your ministry team or board: take the test

The emotional intelligence of your ministry team or board makes all the difference in terms of its health and your ability to carry out healthy and effective ministry. Here is an inventory that can help you gauge the EQ of your team or board. 

Give each question a number from 1 to 10 that describes the accuracy of the statement with 1 being very untrue and 10 being very true

Ask each member of the team/board to score the ten questions. Take the total score for each participant and divide by the number of respondents for your group score. 

You may want to discuss the ten questions in one of your team/board meetings as a growing exercise.

What the scores tell you:

  • 60 or less, your board/team needs to do serious work and would be considered to have poor corporate Emotional Intelligence.
  • 60 - 75, your board/team has moderate Emotional Intelligence but needs to be more intentional in these areas.
  • 75 - 90, your board/team has fairly good Emotional Intelligence and would gain by talking about places where the score was low and could be brought higher.
  • 90-100, your board/team has excellent Emotional Intelligence and should both celebrate and work to stay that way.

Take the test and grow your board/team.

  1. There are no issues that we cannot put on the table for discussion. _____
  2. Members of our team/board respond with non-defensive attitudes when their position is challenged. _____
  3. All of our team/board are willing to abide by decisions of the group once they have been made. _____
  4. Members of our team/board keep short accounts and quickly resolve interpersonal conflicts. _____
  5. There are no ongoing divisions on our team/board. ______
  6. Total honesty and candid discussion is always encouraged by the team/board leader. _____
  7. Members who may disagree with a course of action are never marginalized. _____
  8. Members carefully listen to the opinions of others and fully engage in the discussions of the group. _____
  9. There is a high level of interpersonal trust among members of the team/board. _____
  10. When members of the team/board become disruptive to the work of the group the issue is handled and not ignored. _____

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Six things every church planter should pay attention to from the beginning

A Church's genetic code is hardwired into it early in life so if you want to establish a healthy transformational church there are values and practices that need to be planted up front. Ensuring health on the front end prevents the need to back up later and fix something that is not going well.  

If you are a church planter, consider these issues before you plant. It is easy to let them slide in the chaos and busyness of church planting but if you do they will be hard to retrofit later.

1. How you do leadership/board work will generally set the tone for a long time. From the start, keep the board focused on the big rocks of mission, values, spiritual temperature, and the six responsibilities of leaders: keeping the spiritual temperature high; ensuring the congregation is taught; developing, empowering and releasing people into ministry; ensuring that the congregation is cared for; led well; and protecting the congregation. 

If you want to keep the board out of management and focused on governance and direction, do that from the beginning. Bad habits die hard once started. My book on boards can help you chart a healthy course.

2. When you write your constitution and bylaws (yes you need them) make them as short as possible in order to give you the most latitude as possible. Remember that there are people who believe bylaws to be more sacred than the sacred text (which they may violate all day but not allow you to violate the bylaws). You can always add later. It is easier to add than to subtract in this case.

3. Be absolutely clear about what your church is about and is not about. Clarity solves a lot of problems especially as people from other churches show up and want you to become what the church they left was (never mind they left unhappy). 

Clarity on your mission, your guiding principles, central ministry focus and culture will allow you to be aligned around the most important things from the start. If you are not clear from the start, others with agendas will fill the gap with their clarity - usually not a healthy thing.

4. Develop the kind of team relationships you want to see long term on the part of your staff and volunteers. Again, what you teach, model and put in place at the beginning is going to last a long time so develop the healthiest ethos as possible from day one - and insist on it. Larry Osborn's Sticky Teams and my Leading From the Sandbox can help develop healthy teams from the start.

5. Keep the congregation focused on the right things like evangelism and life transformation. The minute you cross the line toward programs that start diverting from outreach and life transformation you have started to move from missional to institutional. Keep the main thing the main thing from day one and keep them focused. When people live out the main thing, celebrate and tell the story from day one. It will stick if you stick to it.

6. Set the date for the church plant your new church is going to commit to. If you are planting a church you believe in church planting. The sooner you birth a church the more likely it is that you will birth others and that those you birth will reproduce. Put the goal out there from day one.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Refreshment for pastors


In all the discussion on leadership in the local church - which I often write on - we sometimes forget the goal of all that we do - the care of souls that Jesus has put in our charge.

My friend of many years Lee Eclov is the quintessential pastor who loves the day to day care of his congregants. He has written a refreshing book on the Pastoral Graces: Reflections on the Care of Souls. 

It will encourage you, refresh you, remind you of our ultimate calling and challenge you. We need to be reminded often of what ministry is all about. This book will do that.

If you are not a pastor, consider gifting this book to your staff as a thank you for the care they provide you and the flock.

Monday, August 20, 2012

When boards are unable to police their own

Here is an interesting dilemma to consider. One of the Biblical roles of church boards is to protect the flock against the "wolves" of heresy, unrepentant ongoing serious sin and those that cause division in the body.

Yet many church boards are unable to even police themselves and deal with individuals on their board who cause disruption to the board itself. How can a board that cannot deal with its own issues deal with the issues of the church at large?

Consider these behaviors of board members that hurt the board:
- Unwillingness to abide by corporate decisions and team process.
- Sharing of confidential board discussions with others outside the board in an attempt to influence others.
- Holding offense against other board members that they are unwilling to resolve.
- Speaking ill of other board members or the staff.
- Problems of anger.
- Defensiveness that prevents others from speaking into their lives or behaviors.
- Disruptive behaviors that hurt board processes.

It takes only one unhealthy and unaccountable board member to poison the atmosphere of a board. Almost everyone who has served on a church board has encountered one or more of these. Yet all too often, the board itself is unwilling or unable to deal with behaviors that hurt the board and consequently the church. 

Two rules of thumb that I have observed over the years make this even more problematic. First, the congregation rarely rises above the spiritual temperature of the board - and this issue is a spiritual issue. Two, the behavior of a board usually becomes the behavior of a congregation. Thus, unhealthy behaviors on a board will usually be reflected in the congregation as well.

I strongly advise boards to have a board covenant that all members sign before they come onto the board. When there is a violation of that covenant, boards must exercise the discipline of policing their own for the sake of the health of the church.

The bottom line is that when boards cannot police themselves the hurt the church as a whole and cannot expect members of the congregation to live by standards they themselves cannot live by.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The failure of church boards to realistically evaluate the ministries they oversee

Over several decades of consulting with church boards I have observed that they are often reluctant to realistically evaluate the ministries of their church. 

I think there are several reasons for this. One, it is easy to say that this is ministry and you cannot evaluate God's work like one can in other arenas. Two, "Christian nice" keeps us from wanting us to be critical. Three, there can be significant defensiveness from pastors who equate the evaluation with themselves and resist it. Four, the lack of understanding that it is the board as the senior leadership group of the church that is going to answer to God for their leadership stewardship. In all it adds up to a significant lack of courage.

The result of this is that ineffective programs continue to exist long past their era of fruitfulness, systemic issues that keep the church from moving forward are not addressed and staff issues that need to be addressed are not dealt with. Essentially the board has moved from leadership to the guardian of the comfortable and status quo enjoying the illusion that all is well.

I have watched churches go into a slide of decline in places where other congregations are flourishing and still the board does little or nothing and when it does it is often too late. We ask why companies like General Motors ignored the obvious for so long as their business went into deeper and deeper trouble. I ask why church boards ignore the obvious for so long as their ministries languish or go into decline.

If you are on a board I would encourage you to consider these questions:

1. Are there any issues we know exist in the church that we have been unwilling to address? If so why?

2. Are we as a board able to put any and all issues on the table for discussion as long as there are no personal attacks or hidden agendas? If not, what is keeping us from doing so?

3. If the answers to question 1 is yes and question 2 is no, are you willing to challenge the board - maybe by sharing this blog - to have the courage to look realistically at your ministries and deal with issues that need to be dealt with?

Board members serve the church under Jesus Christ (1 Peter 5) and will give an account to Him for their leadership stewardship. It is a serious undertaking that has eternal consequences for those in our congregations and communities.

If you need a refresher on the role of church leaders, you may want to look at my book High Impact Church Boards. It provides a clear road map for church leaders in their leadership role. Above all, don't live with the illusion that all is well when in fact it is not.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Our culture and Kingdom culture

Here is an interesting question to ask yourself. What parts of the culture in which you live  would God celebrate? He was, after all, the originator of differing cultures and languages back at the Tower of Babel. Many things in our cultures are good and healthy. 

Take the emphasis on family and friendships in many cultures. The long meals - lasting hours - in some where the gift of food and drink and fellowship come together. Or, the respect for the elderly (those of us over fifty say wise) in other cultures. Or weddings that last three days with great celebrations. There are many wonderful and unique cultural differences that bring color and richness to all of us. It is one of the reasons I love my job which takes me to many different cultures and the wonderful friends I meet there. I learn so much from other cultures as I travel, interact and minister.

There is a second question though that is equally important. What are the parts of the culture in which I live that God would not celebrate. It is an important question because we are often rather blind to the deficiencies in our cultures (we are part of it) and while we may easily spot deficiencies in the cultures of others we are blind to our own.

My home culture suffers from some deep deficiencies: the thinking that materialism and success is a guarantee from God. Chasing after things instead of pursuing Jesus closely. A can do attitude (good) which often leaves dependence of Jesus out of the equation (bad). A morality based on personal preferences rather than on righteousness and which pervades the church as much as it does our society.

The reason these two questions are important is that as Christians we actually live in two different cultures simultaneously. Our home culture and God's Kingdom culture and they are not the same. In entering His Kingdom we take on a set of Kingdom cultural practices that supersede our earthly home culture and which unite all Christians from all cultures across our globe. That is why Christians from many cultures can be together and feel a great unity and oneness.

Those who travel oversees in ministry often come home with a new set of eyes as they see their own culture from the outside for the first time. What God desires is that we so immerse ourselves in Him and His culture through His word and His people that we are able to distinguish what is His culture is compared to our own - and when they clash, to choose Kingdom practices over our home cultural practices. 

All of life is influenced by culture. Think about your own culture in light of His Kingdom culture and be discerning as to those elements that call us to adopt His culture over our own. We are, after all citizens of heaven first and aliens and strangers in this world (1 and 2 Peter).

Friday, August 17, 2012

Why leaders who lack personal discipline and intentionality run the risk of losing the ministry they have built

There are a significant number of leaders who are able to grow a church or ministry to a fairly large size - and then are asked to leave  the ministry they have built by their board. While there are many reasons one can be asked to leave, one that I have observed over the years revolves around the discipline of the leader to lead with intentionality and focus.

I would describe these leaders as people full of energy, a plethora of ideas, significant vision and often running in many different directions. The energy and ideas often get a church off the ground or a ministry started, and even to a significant size.

However, the larger the organization, the more stability it needs and the very thing that may have helped get them to where they are becomes a liability if the leader cannot modify his or her behaviors to provide stability for the ministry. Small ministries can deal with a fair amount of organizational chaos. The larger it grows the less able it is to do so  and the best staff will not put up with an undisciplined or rapidly changing directional environment.

The discipline and intentionality of leaders is a significant issue not only for their own leadership stewardship but because their intentionality or lack of it impacts others in either positive or negative ways. Disciplined leaders provide structure and stability to their organization and staff. 

Undisciplined leaders bring uncertainty, instability and even chaos as staff try to figure out where they are going and seek to respond to the changing directions of undisciplined leadership. Eventually leaders and staff get tired of the lack of directional stability which creates tension between the senior leader and the key leadership personnel of the ministry. Often, by this time, it is too late for the senior leader to regain the confidence of the staff and board.

As organizations need to grow and mature, so do the leaders who lead them. When they don't they run a high risk of losing what they have built. 


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Church culture trumps everything!

I had an interesting conversation with a pastor recently who said to me, "Church culture trumps everything including Scripture and my preaching." He pastors a church that has been around for many years and his comment reflects the truth that the longer a church is in existence, the stronger its culture - for good or bad.

Most church cultures are not intentional but rather the influence of its founders, pastors, history, power dynamics, and a host of other factors. The culture usually includes some deeply held values (not the ones written down) that dictate how it operates. In one church I attended, for instance, one of the deeply held values and practices was not to resolve conflict but rather to ignore issues and hope they went away. It was part of the culture and didn't work out too well!

Church cultures can be exegeted and understood. In my book, High Impact Church Boards I suggest a number of questions to explore that can help you understand your congregation's genetic code.

  • What do you know about the founding of your church? How do you think the motives and attitudes present in the church's founding - positive or negative - affect the church today?
  • What was the philosophy of those who started your congregation? Is it the same today, or has there been a significant shift in mission, vision, or ministry philosophy? How did this shift happen?
  • How do people in the church navigate disagreements? Would you give your congregation high or low marks for handling conflict? Do you see patterns here?
  • Are you aware of any significant unresolved issues within your congregation? What are they, and why do you think they have not been resolved?
  • How would you evaluate the unity of your leadership board? Does your board have a history of unity and love, even when faced with differences, or is there a history of conflict and broken relationships?
  • If your congregation faced significant periods of conflict in the past, what do you know about these periods? Is it possible to see trends in either the causes or how the conflict was handled?
  • When you consider leadership, now or historically, who has the major influence? Does the church board allow any individual (elected leaders or nonelected persons of influence) veto power over decisions made by the board or congregation? How has the power and influence structure of the church changed over the years?
  • Think about the major changes the congregation has made, whether related to ministry philosophy, location, ministries or staff. Does the congregation respond to suggested changes easily, with great resistance - or somewhere in between?
  • Are there any subjects, people or situations related to the ministry of your church that are off-limits for discussion? If so, why do you think these "elephants in the room" cannot be named? (High Impact Church Boards, pp. 81-82).
Once one understands the dynamics that made the church what it is in terms of culture, it is possible to craft a preferred culture that is intentional, rather than accidental. Every organization has a culture. The question is whether it was intentionally designed or "just is" as an aggregate of many factors in the past. If you are a church leader, are you able to define the culture of your church and the influences behind that culture? 

Chapters 2, 3 and 4 of the companion book, Leading From the Sandbox describe a paradigm for designing an intentional, healthy, God honoring church or organizational culture and how to make it a reality. While existing cultures are deeply embedded, as my pastor friend suggested, it is possible to change and modify church cultures with intentionality in the process. Not only is it possible but necessary if the church is going to be everything God designed it to be.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Symptoms of organizational non-alignment and signs of healthy alignment

The level of alignment within an organization is a direct indicator of its health, clarity and ultimately its ability to deliver on its mission. Thus it is worthwhile to consider symptoms of non-alignment as well as signs of healthy alignment. Think about the organization you lead or serve with as you consider these.

Symptoms of organizational non-alignment:

  • There is little or no coordination of efforts between teams or ministries and often they do not know or care what others are doing.
  • There is competition for resources and jockeying for position within the ministry and people guard their turf.
  •  A common vocabulary is lacking.
  • Active cooperation between teams and their leaders is rare or nonexistent.
  • Members of various teams or divisions do their own thing without a cohesive ministry plan that everyone adheres to.
  • Critical spirits and mistrust are common.


Signs of healthy alignment

  • There is a common missional vocabulary that you hear from everyone in the organization.
  • A great deal of interaction occurs between ministry leaders and team members as they pursue common goals, coordinate their efforts and actively support one another.
  • Lone rangers (teams or leaders) don't exist and when they do occur, they are quickly brought into alignment and relationship with the whole.
  • Rather than politics and turf guarding there is dialogue around issues and a concern for the health of the whole. 
  • Teams and members speak well of one another in a highly collegial atmosphere.
  • There is a high level of trust within the organization as a whole.
  • Teams cooperate with one another, support one another and actively work together toward common objectives.


There is no doubt that alignment or the lack of it has a direct impact on the organizations culture and their ability to deliver on their mission. Which of these symptoms or signs describe the culture you work in?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ten suggestions for ministry policies

Policies are an important part of organizational structure but they can be put in place for the wrong reasons, hinder or help ministry and either protect or control. Here are some things to think about in regard to policies.

1. Policies should protect the organization from practices that could hurt it. Financial policies, for instance, are designed to minimize fraud or waste and to properly control spending. HR policies, likewise keep the ministry legal and protect its staff.

2. Policies should cut down on the number of decisions that need to be made. Rather than taking situations one by one, a policy means the decision can be made once rather than over and over.

3. Policies should not be used to control people who make unwise decisions. Reactionary policies usually hurt others in the organization. If there is a problem employee, deal with the individual rather than write a policy that impacts everyone.

4. Policies should serve people, not control people. Organizations that seek to control people through policies are unhealthy organizations. Policies are not meant to control but should empower staff in healthy ways.

5. Policies should be reviewed annually. It is amazing how many ministries have policies from years ago that make no sense in today's world. Review, add, and delete on an annual basis.

6. Policies should have a good rationale. If a policy cannot be explained easily it probably should not exist. 

7. Policies should be minimal to protect the organization but not restrict opportunity. Have as few policies as you need to protect the organization. 

8. Policies should be fair to everyone. Policies that carry advantage for some but disadvantage to others need to be carefully scrutinized. 

9. If you are writing policy find out what others have done so that you are not starting from scratch. Others have probably thought of things that you have not.

10. Communicate policies clearly. No one likes a surprise.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Moments of clarity - don't ignore them

One of the gifts God gives us from time to time are moments of clarity when something about life or God become crystal clear. It may be the goodness of God when He intervenes on our behalf, or a sinful pattern that He gets our attention on, a job we know we should give up or a family matter that grabs our attention. 

It is a moment when a bright light shines on our soul and we wake up to something that we had not experienced before.

Saul had a moment of clarity when he met Jesus on the road to Damascus. David had a moment of clarity when Nathan confronted him regarding his sin. Moses had a moment of clarity at the burning bush. 

Moments of clarity are precious moments, holy moments when they  move us closer to God or point out something in our lives that demands our attention. The loss is when we either ignore them or forget them which we often do.

Think about the moments of clarity God has given you over the years and then consider whether you are living up to the clarity you were given in that moment. We become poorer when we ignore those moments when truth and understanding shine through. It may just be that God is speaking to us at that moment.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Pseudo or real spiritual transformation

Someone comes to Christ and we celebrate! As we should - Scripture says that parties occur in heaven when a new individual steps into the kingdom. Of course, this new believer comes with all the habits, behaviors and thinking of the newer nature and we desire to help them start to the journey toward spiritual maturity. At this point we face two choices and the choice we make will have a direct impact on the spiritual transformation or lack of it of this new believer.

Choice one is to quickly help this new believer understand what is acceptable and unacceptable as a Christ follower. What this generally includes are the grey areas of the Christian life where our brand of "Christianity" has made decisions about what is acceptable or not. I call this life or behavior modification. It is not based on an internal heart change but by the behavioral expectations of the group. The key component here is that we take personal responsibility to help them understand what is acceptable - or not.

The key problem is that behavior modification in itself has nothing to do with spiritual transformation and in fact may become a substitute for the transformation of the Holy Spirit in one's life. In fact, behavior modification can be nothing less than a legalistic way of looking at following Jesus: I do so by this set of rules.

Choice two is to quickly get this new believer into fellowship with other Christ followers, a good church where Jesus is proclaimed, and to encourage them to start reading God's word and applying it to their lives as they see application. Coupled with an active prayer life and the example and encouragement of other Christ followers who rather than playing the role of the Holy Spirit (this is what you need to do) encourage the new believer to see what God has to say on issues of life and make application from His convictions. 

In this case, there is also behavior change but not because it is what others suggest but because it is what God desires. It comes from the inside (the conviction of the Holy Spirit and a desire to follow Him) rather than the outside (what others believe they should do).

We often overestimate our responsibility with new believers and underestimate the Holy Spirit's ability to speak to them, convict them, encourage them, and transform their hearts. We can convince someone to transform their behavior but only the Holy Spirit can transform their hearts leading to authentic inside out change. 

When our focus with new believers is on behavior modification to fit our Christian group or even our own personal convictions we engage in a pseudo transformation. It may look good on the outside but it does not emanate from the Holy Spirit's work but rather from our own. It is no different than the pseudo transformation of the Pharisees.

When we focus on helping people embrace a followership of Jesus, based on what the Holy Spirit teaches and convicts them of, we are engaging in real transformation from the inside out. As we model that kind of lifestyle for them, we become an encouragement for them to follow. When we point them continually to the Scriptures and a life of prayer we point them to the One who is the source of their lives and the authority of their lives.

The first is all about us and the second is all about Him.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

For those fifty and over: think convergence

Much of our lives are spent learning who we are, what our gifting is, where our strengths and weaknesses are and through the experiences of life and work finding out our strongest lane. 

Ironically, it is often in our fifties and sixties and beyond that we have our greatest impact. No longer running on raw energy we are living with greater wisdom, doing less but accomplishing more and seeing greater results. Hopefully we are also comfortable in our own skin with nothing we need to prove and nothing to lose. It is a good place to be.

There is also the greatest possibility of convergence in our lives where our biography, experience, training, gifts and passions come together in a powerful combination for maximum influence and impact. I call this convergence and if you are fifty or over I would encourage you to think about what convergence would look like for you and then ask whether you can arrange your life and work in a way that helps you get there.

We accumulate activities and responsibilities in our personal and work lives over time and often don't take the time to shed those that are old, or that are not truly in our lane of effectiveness. It is like the stuff in our garage that just sits there, of no use to us anymore but we continue to let it accumulate.

Convergence comes when we are able to let go of those things that someone else can do and we are not truly gifted in to focus on areas of passion, skill and greatest impact. I often ask ministry leaders in their fifties what their greatest passion is and then, how could you arrange your life and work so that you spend the greatest amount of time in those areas of passion? Often they have never realized that they could actually do that.

But this is not just for leaders. It is for all of us who want to make an impact in whatever area of life we inhabit. We can declutter our lives for greater focus in areas where God uses us the most. And this is where we find our greatest joy and satisfaction anyway. 

Friday, August 10, 2012

Disciplines, Habits and Lifestyle

The concept of "discipline" in our lives evokes various responses but for many it is not an overwhelmingly positive concept. I prefer the concept of "disciplined practices" of those activities that will lead to  the kind of lifestyle that I believe Jesus will be happy with. We either live accidentally or intentionally and there is no intentionality without a set of disciplined practices.

The value of well thought out disciplined practices is that over time they become habits. Habits can be our ally in living a Christ centered life. King David had the disciplined practice of praying in the morning and the evening. It became a habit and you see it reflected in numerous Psalms. His disciplined practice of memorizing God's word became a habit which is also reflected in the Psalms. These habits that lead to a God honoring life start with a decision to a certain discipline and rhythm in our lives which practiced long enough become instinctual.

Many Christ followers wonder why they don't make more traction in their Christian life. Often, it is because they have not considered the intentionality of healthy practices that become habits and which in turn become our lifestyle. Doing something often enough - good or bad- actually rewires the connections in our brain to make the practice habitual. It is our brains way of operating in a lean fashion. It can work for us or against us. In unhealthy addictions it works against us. In developing healthy practices - which takes intentional effort on our part - it works for us.

In his writings, the Apostle Paul talks about old habits and practices that need to be discarded and new habits and practices that need to be put on. With the help of the Holy Spirit and our own discipline we can indeed do that. But it does not happen by itself - it happens when we focus on disciplined practices long enough that they become habitual and which in turn inbed those healthy practices into our lifestyle. 

Think about the habits of your life. Which of them are contributing to your followership of Jesus and which of them are distracting or even undermining that followership. Then ask the question: What disciplined practices would change the equation of they became habits and then became part of your lifestyle?

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Accountability for missionaries - rethinking the paradigm


It is time to rethink how we hold missionaries our churches support accountable and how we collect that information. What usually happens today is that every church has their own forms that need to be filled out annually creating significant extra and unnecessary work for mission personnel. 

I recently had a senior ReachGlobal leader mention that he was working on an eight page evaluation from one of the churches that supports him. Now consider doing the same for the other nine major supporting churches and you get an idea of what it looks like to satisfy the needs of multiple churches.

Many of the accountability paradigms for missionaries grew up in a day when they worked relatively alone and had little direct supervision from their mission organization. Today for most organizations it looks very different. All personnel, for instance in ReachGlobal operate with annual Key Result Areas, an Annual Ministry Plan that is connected to the team that they work with. In addition, they have a monthly mentoring/coaching meeting with their supervisor and an annual review.

In ReachGobal, for instance, there is actually a higher level of both empowerment and accountability than is found in staffs of many churches. A best practice for mission committees is to find out what the reporting structure is for the mission their missionaries work for and coordinate the information they ask for with what the mission requires so that there are not unnecessary redundancies in reporting that a staff member needs to do.

If mission committees asked for three things – the job description, the annual plan and what was accomplished on that plan they would have a great deal of information. And, it would cut down on the duplication of systems that missionaries must satisfy for multiple churches that support them.

The additional complication with generic forms to be filled out is that it does not take into account the actual job of individual missionaries. The three pieces of information above are what we use to evaluate a staff member so if a church asked for the same three pieces of information it would have more relevant information than they often get without requiring their missionary to do extra and unnecessary work.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Operate without a church board covenant at your risk!


I have recently been reminded by several conversations how important it is to have a board covenant that spells out how board members relate to one another and work together. It takes only one board member to cause significant chaos in a church and on a board when acceptable behaviors are violated.

Verbal agreements about board behaviors are not enough. They can be forgotten and disputed. Written covenants that are agreed to and signed by board members clearly delineate what is expected of those who are serving as leaders. It is hard for other board members to ignore behaviors that are clearly defined, in written form, and signed by all involved.  

Here is an example of such a covenant from my book High Impact Church Boards.

Knowing that we, as leaders of this congregation, must model godly relationships before one another and the church, we commit ourselves to:

  • Pray daily for fellow members of the leadership team and for the ministry of the church
  • Never speak ill of any member of the team
  • Resolve broken relationships personally and quickly
  • Forgive one another when offended and hold no grudges
  • Always support the decisions of this board once they are made unless a biblical, moral issue is at stake
  • Care for one another when a member is hurting
  • Always be honest in board deliberations and never devious in seeking personal agendas
  • Never betray the confidence of the board
  • Hold one another accountable for this covenant and agree to step off the board if there is a regular violation of these agreements.

The most crucial piece of the board covenant is the last one. When there is a violation of acceptable practices, the rest of the board will hold the one(s) who have violated the covenant accountable for their behavior. 

Why? Unhealthy boards compromise the health of the church! Board behavior is the model for congregational behavior. Boards that don't hold one another accountable for agreed-upon behaviors cannot hold others responsible for their behaviors. And it takes only one unaccountable board member to poison the board and cause chaos in a congregation. There are numerous stories of congregational pain and conflict when a board member violates acceptable practices, compounded when the rest of the board does not hold them accountable.

Too often, we ignore board covenants, assuming that everyone will behave. Some don't. Too often, we ignore violations as not a big deal: They are! Overseers are told to protect the flock: it starts with themselves. Ignore board covenants and problematic behavior to your own peril.



Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The courage to say what we really think

One of the significant marks of a good leader and healthy individual is the ability to tell others what they really think in an honest but respectful way. Too often, in the desire to make others feel good we are not completely honest with our views which causes confusion at best and a sense that we were dishonest or manipulative at worst.

Not being fully honest with our views is a form of cowardice driven by our desire to be liked and not to offend. However, the end result of a lack of clarity especially by leaders is the perception by their staff that they were not honest with them - true - and attributed often to bad motives - often not true. Either way it is a route to misunderstanding and lack of clarity.

Most of us do not want to offend others - a good thing. The route to that goal is not to withhold our opinions or convictions but to state them respectfully, allowing others to hold a different view without judgement or losing relationship. What kind of world would we have if everyone agreed on everything anyway? The best solutions are found in the conflict of ideas, not in everybody agreeing with one another.

This skill is called "self differentiation." The ability to differentiate our views from others without being obnoxious. Both of those skills are necessary for healthy relationships.

It is a skill because it is not natural for everyone to learn the art of self differentiation graciously. However, unless we do we cannot be who we really are - a characteristic of personal health. Doing so with graciousness toward others is a necessary skill of keeping relationships healthy while being able to disagree. Both personal health and relational health are at stake with this skill.

The both/and of Missions: Gospel and Compassion


In the early 1900’s there was a major clash in the American church between the liberals who emphasized good works at the expense of the Gospel and the evangelicals who insisted that good works by themselves would not help people find Christ and experience His grace. In simple terms, what followed was a divide. The liberals jettisoned the Gospel for a religion of good works while evangelicals, in an over response often jettisoned good works for a sole emphasis on the Gospel.

What the liberals lost was the life changing message of Jesus while emphasizing Jesus concern for people. What the evangelicals lost was the concern for people’s needs with a sole concern for their eternal destinies. What both lost was the both/and of the life of Jesus who was always concerned about their situations but never addressed their life issues without also addressing the core issue of the heart.

The example of Jesus in the Gospels ought to be our guide: He cared deeply for people and their situations. That is why people followed him. That is why He healed them. That is why he talked to them non-judgmentally about their sin. But He never left it at that. He always talked to them about their hearts.

In fact, if you look at church history it was Christians and missionaries who founded hospitals, schools, took care of the sick, buried the dead in the plagues, and were known for their good works. My own background was that of a Missionary Kid of a doctor who founded a hospital that took care of the sick regardless of their ability to pay – and also shared the Gospel with each patient – connected with a strategy of church planting in Hong Kong.

There are innumerable stories of evangelism efforts, literature distribution or other ministries done in the name of Jesus that have almost no lasting impact because while people made professions of faith, there was no church left behind for them to be nurtured and to grow. When you separate missions from church planting, you no longer have missions in a Biblical sense but simply compassion ministries. That is why Paul always focused on church planting while always encouraging believers to be the hands, feet, compassion and love of Jesus.

One of the guiding principles of ReachGlobal is that we are holistic in our approach. We want to care for the whole person and are deeply involved in ministries of compassion, education, medicine, caring for those who come out of sex trafficking, AIDS orphans and many other ministries that minister to the whole person as did Jesus. But front and center and at our core we are about multiplying transformational churches. We must leave behind the Bride of Christ to make disciples. The church must reclaim the concern of Jesus for the whole person but must not lose the centrality of multiplying His church in the process.



Monday, August 6, 2012

Redefining outreach in the church

Outreach programs are normal for local churches. In fact, they are so normal that they often have the effect of training our people that outreach is a program when in fact, Jesus meant it to be the lifestyle of every believer.

If outreach is a program, I am free to leave outreach efforts to the church and allow it to be their responsibility. If outreach is the responsibility of every Christ follower through incarnational living and intentional development of relationships with unbelievers then I must take responsibility. 

But here is something to think about. We get what we teach and model in the church. If we model programming as the means of outreach, that is what we will get. If we teach and model that reaching our workplaces, neighborhoods and friends is each of our responsibilities, that is what we will get. Which is more powerful? Which will reach more people?

I am all for church wide opportunities for people to bring their friends in venues that are favorable to them hearing the gospel. But, that presupposes that there are unbelieving friends to bring and that we have enough capital with them to even be able to invite them.

The real challenge in evangelicalism is to convince every believer that they, not a program of the church, are responsible for developing meaningful relationships with unbelievers that can result in opportunities to share God's love, being the example of Jesus to them and speaking candidly about one's relationship with Christ. Until that happens, we will never have the impact in our world and community that the early church did and that Jesus desires us to have.

How do we do that? First we model it ourselves. Second we tell stories of others who model it. Third, we set an expectation that every Christ follower has an intentional strategy to share the love of Jesus with those they have relationships and contact with. Fourth, we pray together for those divine appointments that God can use and finally we celebrate whenever a breakthrough comes and another individual becomes a son or daughter of the king.

God loves when people seek him so He will answer the prayers of people and congregations who ask Him for these divine opportunities. I had several last week. I thank Him for every one. And I long for the day when we all expect it to happen as He allows us to be His representatives.

Go with a program and you will reach a few. Go with everyone and you will reach more than you can ever imagine.

Friday, August 3, 2012

What is missions? Be careful how you define your mission efforts


This may seem like a simple question to some but there are many churches today who are redefining missions in ways that are problematic. To answer this question we need to look at the mandate of Jesus to the church and the strategy of the Apostle Paul in the early days of Christianity as he applied the Great Commission in his mission travels.


Remember the words of Jesus to His followers: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age (Matthew 28:18-20).

His mandate was to make disciples of all nations, to baptize people in His name and to teach them what it meant to be a follower of His. Perhaps the most important part of His command is “Therefore, Go.” It is taking the Good News beyond our circle to all nations on the face of the earth.

Our best example of what this meant is to examine the ministry of the Apostle Paul. He and Barnabas were not only the first missionaries sent by the church (Acts 13) but it is obvious from the careful record of his missionary journeys in one of the longer books of the New Testament (Acts) that we are to pay attention to what happened.

Paul’s strategy was very simple. He was focused on establishing churches, training leaders for those churches and setting them loose to live out the Christian life and be the Bride of Christ in their community. At the core of his strategy was establishing local churches. The methodology of establishing churches was the intensive discipling and training of men and women who responded to the Gospel.

In fact, some of the well known New Testament books  were written to churches that he had established. In addition, Timothy and Titus were pastors that he had trained.

It is interesting that in some places where Paul planted a church there were already Christ follower present. This was true in Ephesus according to Acts 19. The presence of disciples, however, was not enough for without proper teaching and fellowship those disciples were unlikely to grow. Thus, Paul gathered those Christ followers, taught them intensely for three years and the church that was planted had an impact in a wide area of Asia minor.

Paul calls the local church, the Bride of Christ. The point I am making is that biblical missions may involve many things but at the center and core it is about establishing the church so that those local expressions of the Bride can continue to reproduce themselves therefore reproducing Christ followers and committed disciples. There is no concept in the New Testament following the ascension of Jesus of Christ followers who were not connected to a church.


In our own day there is sometimes a de-emphasizing on the establishment of the church for a focus on other ministries that are called missions. These include ministries of evangelism, compassion, orphan, sex trafficking, caring for the poor, literature, illiteracy, micro-enterprise, education, medical ministries and others.

All of these are good in themselves and worthy of being a part of our missions paradigm but they are not the core of what we are called to do. As long as these efforts are connected to the establishment of transformational churches they are deeply valuable and reflect the heart of Christ. However, when they are not connected to the church, they are often compassion without the Gospel.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Definitions of success: be sure to get it right!


I have been mulling for some time on our definitions of success in ministry. I think about these things because I am wired to win and to help the organization I lead make the largest mark for Jesus that it can. But where do the societal and biblical definitions of success overlap and where do they differ? Or is there a difference since often there does not seem to be any?

How we frame the question has a lot to do with the answer we get.

For instance, if my definition of success is doing better than my peers in ministry what I am really doing is competing with others according to their definitions of success. I see a lot of that among pastors and ministry leaders who love to compare attendance, budgets, staff, facilities and programs - which could simply be different language for sales, market capitalization, employee count, dividends, and new product in the pipeline. Again, where do societal and biblical definitions of success overlap and where do they differ?

Many leaders like visibility and believe we have something to say so we speak, write books, and often try to get into the "right circles" where we belong (of course) in our drive to accomplish great things. How many leaders do you know who run on fumes? If my definition of success is making a mark then I suppose these activities contribute to it. Leaders are visible, after all, and leaving a mark is often seen in that light. So in the business world, you might make the cover of Fortune and in the ministry world, a Christian publication, maybe CT! But these do not satisfy my soul nor do they seem to be consistent with Scripture.

Here is how I frame the question of success: When I see Jesus, what will He value and commend me for? 

Here is what I know about that question. What Jesus will (and does) value and commend me for is very different than what society generally values and might commend me for. So I need to make a conscious effort to focus on those things that are important to Him rather than those things that are important to me or to those around me. 

It seems to me that His definition of success will look something like this:

- A deep abiding relationship with Him that defines my life
- Being a Christ like husband, father and grandfather
- Focusing on becoming ever more transformed into His image
- Deep Humility
- Using the gifts He gave me to their fullest
- Having the greatest influence for Him that I can
- Being faithful in good times and hard times
- Treating those I lead with dignity, love and respect
- Being willing to suffer hardship for Jesus
- Developing, empowering and releasing my staff as He did
- Aligning my life priorities around His priorities

What is interesting to me about His definitions of success is that they differ radically from how success is defined in our world and by many who serve in full time ministry but are infected by a faulty definition of success (all of us are vulnerable on that). Jesus is deeply interested in the person I am and become, how I do what I do, the motivations behind it and how I interact and treat people.

It would be sad to get to the end and realize that what we had been chasing after so hard was not what God intended us to chase after. And that in succeeding, we had neglected the things that meant the most to God. 

The leadership stewardship of necessary but hard conversations


One of the most difficult things a team or organizational leader does is to say the hard things to individuals when behaviors, attitudes or performance are problematic. No one likes to have these conversations and if someone relishes them I question their qualifications for leadership. However, those hard conversations are one of the kindest things a leader can do for the individual involved and for the organization.

What is kind is not always easy but it is necessary. Pressing into the hard things is a great favor to the individual. First, because you have given them the courtesy of hearing what others around them are saying or thinking - which they may be oblivious to. Second, it opens up a dialogue regarding issues which if solved will make them better people and better staff. 

That dialogue may also reveal that the individual is not in their correct lane where they are likely to be successful. If that is the case, they probably know in their gut that they are in the wrong spot but don't know what to do about it. Helping them find their lane whether in your organization or another is the prelude to a happier existence.

If the hard conversation meets great resistance and defensiveness you know that you are dealing with an individual with EQ deficits which will manifest itself in other unhealthy ways and must either be resolved or will cause relational damage. In fact, how an individual responds to hard conversations is a very telling factor about their ability to become healthier. Your willingness to press in, however, is often the prelude to greater happiness and satisfaction on their part - if they choose to respond well.

It is also a huge favor to the team or organization. When there are behaviors, attitudes or performance that are problematic it impacts others in the organization. If we choose to avoid the issue (it is an uncomfortable conversation) we effectively disempower others who are impacted. This is why I call this an issue of leadership stewardship. As stewards of our staff or team we have a responsibility to create a healthy and empowering work environment

Often we wait too long to have necessary conversations out of our own issues and discomfort. When we put it off we forget that we are not doing either the individual or the organization a favor by doing so. 


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

They are amazingly powerful things, words are


They are amazingly powerful things, words are, especially for often being invisible, coming only from our mouths, invisible messages transmitted from one to another. Yet they have the power to build up and to tear down, encourage and discourage, empower and disempower, express ideas and destroy people. Every invisible word we speak has an immediate impact on those who hear.  They are amazingly powerful things, words are.

I am a purveyor of words: speaking, blogs, books and dialogue. I play with them, carefully consider them and use them as a craftsman uses his or her tools. They are my tools and powerful tools, words are. Finding a new word to convey the right meaning is like striking a vein of gold so powerful those words can be. Putting them in sequence for the right effect is like arranging the books on my study shelves because arrangement matters.

Our words reveal the temperature of our hearts for what is inside tumbles out, sometimes unwittingly and with later regret. “Did I say that? That way? I hurt you! I cannot believe I said that!” Our words the invisible revealer of the invisible us. Once unleashed, never to be recalled. We can only use other words to minimize the damage but those terrible words, ever invisible live on in the hearts of those who were wounded by them.  Our words have betrayed us, or revealed us and the ugly remnants of our sinful humanity. They are amazingly powerful things, words are.

Being invisible and coming so easily we pay too little attention to our words. Jesus told us to consider our words. James warned us of the power for good or for evil they contain. Proverbs speaks often of words and their impact for good and evil. Paul wrote of words that should not be spoken and words that should be spoken. Because they are amazingly powerful things, words are.

It is easy to allow our words to become useless items frittered away on topics that are base and in ways that are harsh – other people the likely target of our spiritual poverty. They are precious things, words are, because of their power. To loose them carelessly is to squander opportunity and to diminish the wonderful gift they can be. For our words can shape entire lives or diminish the same so powerful they are and so long they live invisible yet remembered.

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you O Lord. For each of us will give an account for every invisible word we spoke. They are amazingly powerful things, words are.

“Father, help me craft words that heal, reflect your character, bring your love, and soothe the wounds of life today. May I use words for your purposes today and not mine. Even better, give me your words to speak for your words are pure and holy and loving and true. They are words of life from a heart of love. May I be a purveyor of your words today.”

Monday, July 30, 2012

Keystone habits that can change organizational culture



Eight years ago when I assumed leadership of ReachGlobal, the international mission of the EFCA I made two decisions that would radically impact the culture of the mission. The first was that we were going to place a very major focus on health: healthy staff, healthy teams and healthy leaders. The second was that we were going to develop, empower and release healthy national leaders wherever we worked.


While I knew that these two decisions were the right decisions for ReachGlobal I did not know how foundational they would be for the organizational culture long term.  I am currently reading Charles Duhigg's groundbreaking book on The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in Life and Business, where Duhigg defines these kinds of decisions as Keystone habits which while seemingly insignificant in themselves (who would argue with healthy individuals, teams and leaders?) have a lasting and long impact on the organization's culture.


The focus on health forced us to re-evalutate our screening processes for potential missionaries and we actually shut the process down for six months to rebuild it from the ground up. It allowed us to deal with some staff who were disruptive to others.


It also spawned a new way of mentoring and coaching, team training, supervisor training and a redefinition of what leadership in the organization was about. That one directional decision touched everything we did and how we did it. My book "Leading From the Sandbox" defines our approach to leadership and teams all in line with that one directional decision.


The focus on developing, empowering and releasing healthy national workers wherever we worked shifted the focus from what we as missionaries could do to how we could help others do what they could do better than us. Again, that seemingly small keystone habit changed our whole approach to mission strategy.


I would encourage all those who lead to read Duhigg's book. But I would also encourage leaders to think carefully about what key habits should define your ministry culture and realize that you can intentionally change or redefine your culture for the better by a few key directional decisions. That is, if you have the resolve to see them through. 


What I have learned is that it does not take many decisions to actually redefine one's culture. It usually takes one or two that you believe in fully and have the resolve to stick to no matter what. 


People understand that you are actually serious and that it is not the flavor of the month when you make hard decisions that are in alignment with those directional decisions (keystone habits) you have resolved to live out. In the early days of my leadership and still today I tell staff "Do not question my resolve" to see these things become reality.


All organizations have a culture that is either intentionally created or accidental. Intentional is far better than accidental. In fact, there may well be habits in an organization that are unhealthy and which should be replaced by new habits. Understanding what is and what should be is part of the job of a leader.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

The most important thing we leave our grandchildren


I remember how important my grandparents were to me. Even from a distance, growing up in Hong Kong they had the most special place in my heart. I am not sure what it is about grandparents but they are sometimes even a step above our parents as we grow up. They love us unconditionally, they are old and therefore wise, they have great stories of the "old days" and for whatever reason, very, very special.


Which gives us as grandparents amazing opportunity in the lives of our grandchildren. We can say things to them that others (even their parents) cannot say and be heard. We can love them without being the disciplinarians. We can talk about faith issues without them thinking we are pushing an agenda. We are, after all special. 


What is the most important thing we leave behind with our grand kids? It is an example of a life well lived, a faith that meets all circumstances with grace and trust in Jesus. It is belief in them that they can be what God made them for. It is love that mirrors the love of Jesus. It is the example of simple faith lived out in the day to day issues of life - loving Jesus with all our hearts.


Grandchildren don't often forget their grandparents. Long after they are gone I remember mine and one of the things I look forward to is a reunion in heaven. Theirs was not a sophisticated faith: it was real and powerful and authentic. The way faith is supposed to be. Most of all I remember their love for me and acceptance of me. 


I am thankful for the relationship my kids had with their grandparents. They taught them many things including some mischievous things. My father in law from peasant roots in the Ukraine taught the kids how to make switches from the apple tree in his back yard and fling apples far and wide in the neighborhood - thus ridding his lawn of apples :). He taught Chip how to jerry rig anything to fix something. My mother in law from Sweden took the kids on long walks through the nature preserves to learn flora and fauna. My folks allowed them to be themselves even when it might have offended their sensibilities.


Grandparents are special. If you are one, leave them two things: unconditional love and a love of Jesus that they cannot ever forget. You have amazing power in their lives. Use it to help them grow as individuals and as Christians. Grandparents may have more influence over their grandchildren than even their children.