Are you good enough?

How many of us live with a deep sense of unworthiness afraid that if people knew the real us we would not be loved? I have been there. How many of us have spent our lives trying to please God so that we are worthy of Him? I have been there too. How many of us have felt deep down inside, I am not good enough? I have lived there as well. 

If there is any message in the Easter story it is that God, through the death and resurrection of Jesus has taken unworthy, broken, sinful, undone people and made us worthy and good in His sight by being broken for us. 

Because of His death I no longer need to live with a sense of unworthiness. In fact He paid the ultimate sacrifice for me! When I was unworthy He died for me so that I could be made worthy.

Because of His death I no longer need to try to earn God's favor. Rather He gave me His favor as a free gift (Ephesians 2:8). Since I already have it, it is futile to try to earn it. How can one earn what they already have?

Because of His death, I don't need to be good enough! He took all my not good enough and nailed it to the cross and made me His family and His possession, and gave me a piece of Himself - the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1). My not good enough has been replaced by His making me perfect in His sight - through His blood.

Easter is a reminder that because of His sacrifice, and if we have invited Him into our lives that we are worthy, that we can give up trying to earn His favor and that He has made us holy and family and clean. 

Because of Easter I no longer need to live with shame, fear or pretense. My brokenness, shame, fear, unworthiness have been replaced by wholeness and worthiness - through Him. Now if I could only remember that every day!

When life hangs between despair and hope

What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds who had called for His life keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.

It had to be like a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. 

We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It is the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns.

It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair. The morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope. 

A lesson of Good Friday

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall (Genesis 3:15) where God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated. But on this day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver was all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.

The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The Jewish authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that but for those who cared, evil had won over good and righteousness. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph and instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. 

Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter because out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected but in that resurrection he sealed the fate of Satan and evil and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator.Apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! 

Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is sovereign and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday.

Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the apparent areas where you feel defeat, discouragement, sadness or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted and we need His help. It is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up as He always does and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.

Whatever your circumstance you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control and God alwaysprevails. Our job is to walk by faith in the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce, waiting for our Easter to arrive when He shows up and redeems our situation. The fun thing about Easter was that it was such a surprise. Invite Jesus to surprise you in your situation today.

Joining God in His work

I remember the day my then four year old son was waxing eloquently to me about how important his mother's work was because she was a nurse who saved people's lives. So after listening I asked, "Jon, what do I do?" "Oh" he said, you are just and ordinary worker!"

It was a funny moment. But it reminded me that many people feel that about themselves. That they are just ordinary workers and that their contribution to God's work does not really matter. They don't have seminary training, serve behind the scenes, are not up front and really don't have much to contribute of substance.

It is not true! It is false! It is a lie of the evil one who wants us and those in our churches to believe it! Unfortunately many do and the rest of us are not doing enough to communicate a different truth.

Here is the different truth! "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10)."

The word workmanship means a one of a kind work of art. Every one of God's children is a one of a kind creation, uniquely created for a unique work (good works) prepared by God in advance for them.

I like the terminology of "good works." God is not asking us do something spectacular. He is asking us to use the wiring and gifting that he gave us in "good works" among those we have influence and in the corners of the world that we live, work, and play.

He wants us to know that he gave us the ability to do good works for Him wherever we find ourselves and we do that as we simply use the gifting and wiring he gave us (each one unique) with the people and situations we find ourselves with. It is not complicated but it is very, very powerful.

Think of the power if everyone who called your church their church home believed that God had given them the opportunity to do good works on His behalf in their workplace, neighborhood or among those with whom they have influence. Acts of kindness done in Jesus' name. Decisions of righteousness done in Jesus' name. People befriended in Jesus' name. The sick visited in Jesus' name. The gift of encouragement in Jesus' name. An offer of prayer in Jesus' name.

To often we send the message that "ministry" is what happens at church. No, God wants each of us to live out our faith in ways that only we uniquely can do in places that only we can uniquely influence. It is as simple as good works done in Jesus' name in line with how God uniquely wired me and the places in which He gives me influence and presence.

Good works - in Jesus' name. So simple and so powerful because when we live out our calling in our places the Holy Spirit penetrates those places and peoples lives are changed.

Learning to have probing conversations

Learning how to have probing conversations with others is a great skill for those who desire to have influence. This not an intrusive conversation but one that helps people come to clarity about something in their lives. Nor is it a prescriptive conversation but one that helps another come to understand themselves and their situation with greater clarity so that they can move in appropriate ways.

This is a skill that can be learned - I had to learn it. I am by nature inquisitive and a learner but in years past I did that analysis largely in my own brain: Quietly and systematically. That worked well when it was something I needed to figure out in my life but it didn't do as well in solving organizational problems where the intellectual capital of others is so valuable, nor in helping others come to clarity on issues they are facing.

A probing conversation is one of questions, reflecting back what you are hearing for clarity and unpeeling a situation like one would an onion, one thin layer at a time. It is not done in a hurry but in a relaxed setting designed for reflection.

It's questions are many:
"Tell me more about that."
"Why did you take that course of action?"
"What did you learn through that situation?"
"What drives you?"
"What does a good day look like for you?" "A bad day?"
"What in life gives you the greatest sense of purpose and satisfaction?"
"Why?"
"Tell me about your strengths and their shadow side."
"Tell me about your family of origin and how it has shaped you."

Probing conversations are full of thoughtful questions, careful listening, clarifying what one has heard, the silence of thinking and drilling down in order to help someone else understand themselves better. It is a key tool for leaders, supervisors or just friends who want to help another think deeply about their lives.

Perhaps the most important question we could ask ourselves and others is why? Why do I say yes to so many things? Why don't I delegate more? Why does so and so push all my buttons? Why am I defensive about certain things? The why question is so powerful first because it helps us understand our motives behind our actions and second, often reveals weaknesses in our practices or habits. It is powerful precisely because it makes us question the status quo and prevents us from thinking better and differently and more freshly.

Thus we can have equally probing conversations with ourselves and the wise among us do it all the time. It is in self-examination that we  better understand ourselves, especially as we allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate the recesses of our hearts, minds, emotions and motives. 

Our world is filled with surface conversation and too little deep conversation that helps us and others live with greater self-awareness. Every one of us can work to change that by asking the right questions at the right time, of ourselves and others.

The Death of believers

In recent months I have seen a number of loved ones die as well as watched other friends struggle with what could be terminal illnesses. Even when death comes at an old age it is a sad thing. There will be no more conversations, shared memories or friendship, for spouses left behind loneliness becomes an enemy: a friend is gone and there is no denying the grief.

This is perhaps doubly so because we know that physical death only entered the world because of sin, along with illness, decay, and all the other suffering and sorrows experienced in this life. Every funeral is a reminder of Adam's sin and our own and its consequences. 

Yet every funeral for a believer who has gone home to be with Jesus is a reminder of something else: We were made by Him, in His Image, to enjoy unending and unfractured relationship with Him and that is what lies on the other side of the thin veil that separates this world and the next. There is no greater joy that what we will experience when we look into the eyes of infinite love and grace when we see Jesus.

But not just for us. In Psalm 116:1 the Psalmist makes an amazing statement: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants." Why? because they have run the race and kept the faith, to quote Paul. And, because they will be complete in their fellowship with God for all eternity. The Image has been restored and along with it everything God made us to be - in His presence.

Every longing of our hearts on that day will be fulfilled in a way that we cannot even fathom. We will realize that for all our love of life, that this world is but a shadow of the one to come and we will emerge like through a deep cloud into complete beauty and clarity. We will finally be home: really, truly, completely home in every possible way. And we will have no end of time to mar the perfection we will experience in Him, in one another and in our own souls!

We know that Jesus shares in our grief when a loved one dies. He did with Mary and Martha at the death of Lazarus and He shares all sorrows and comforts us in all pain. But we also know that even as He comforts us He is blessed every time one of His is finally and completely home. It is precious to Him because we are precious to Him and we were fully made for Him. In fact, He awaits each of our arrival in a heavenly kingdom  that will never pass away and where we will realize how dark was the glass we saw through on this side of eternity.

Why boards must always speak with one voice

One of the key principles of healthy board governance is that boards always speak with ONE (corporate) voice! In other words, while robust dialogue and candid discussion takes place within the board room, once a decision is make it has only ONE voice and that ONE voice is the will of the majority, thus the will and decision of the board.

Why is this so important? First, it is the nature of boards themselves. They are by definition a corporate group that must make corporate decisions. While a board is made up of multiple individuals, it is a single (corporate) entity and as such cannot have multiple points of view when it speaks. The whole premise of a board and that of governance is that it is a single entity. When board decisions are disagreed with publicly by a board member it is no longer a single entity but several!

That is why when a board does not speak with one voice it often creates division within a church body. After all, if board members are not united by the decision they made, why should the congregation be united when they make a decision. We expect that the congregation, having voted on something (when that happens) will support the decision. When they don't see that happening at the board level, the board itself is training the congregation that they don't need to either and that it is OK not to support a corporate congregational decision. That of course undermines the health and unity of the church.

It also creates confusion. When a board as a whole makes a recommendation and individual board members dissent from that decision in public, what is the congregation to think? As a congregational member I would assume that the board itself does not really know what the direction should be and therefore the recommendation of the board carries little or no weight. Further, the board member who dissents is actually dissenting with himself/herself (how confusing is that?) because he/she is a member of the corporate group that made a corporate decision which he/she is now disagreeing with.

One of the highest qualifications for a board member is that of humility because all board members must submit their preferences to the preferences of the group. It is also why I say that "boards operate without a board covenant at their own risk." The covenant spells out how the board operates and the commitments that board members make to each other. One of the foundational commitments is that board members always support a board decision once it is made. They agree to speak with ONE voice.

Ununified boards outside the board room kill good governance, model poor behavior, create division and confusion in the congregation and are a violation of healthy governance practices. They hurt the very entity they are charged with leading and protecting.

A book for those who follow global politics

 

While the title may be a bit stiff: The Revenge of Geography: What the map tells us about coming conflicts and the battle against fate, this is a fascinating book on both world history and current events. I would recommend it to those involved in missions or those who simply want to understand global realities at a deeper level.

There are few contemporary authors who understand current events better than Robert Kaplan. Taking our world a section at a time - looking at how geography shaped their history and current situation, he also gives a glimpse at where our world is headed - or possible scenarios. 

The implications for missions are significant and thus I recommend this to those who are missionaries or those simply interested in global politics. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Good leaders are flexible leaders

Leaders with good EQ are both self defined and flexible. Their self definition becomes a compass directionally but within that direction they are highly flexible. For some, leadership is telling others what they will do and getting their way. For healthy leaders, direction setting includes other key stakeholders and then they are flexible on the strategies needed to go in that direction.

Most issues where leaders are inflexible and need to be right or get their own way are not worth the inflexibility. The very reason that church leadership was designed as a team, for instance, goes to the value of the counsel of multiple wise leaders. Most of the hills leaders choose to die on cause blood to be shed – rarely their own – for causes not worth dying for.

This is where being self defined but able to invite dialogue and stay in relationship becomes so important. Without this it is our way or the highway. With this it is possible to come to a corporate strategy to move in the direction that has been set.

Many of the conflicts that leaders find themselves in are a direct result of either poor self definition or inflexibility to negotiate a common course of action. Good leaders are highly flexible and are masters at helping other good people come to a common strategy on ministry that allows the ministry to move in the preferred direction. Black and while individuals, on the other hand tend to polarize rather than bring people together.

I recently watched a senior pastor lose a number of staff, key leaders and volunteers from his church because of inflexibility over issues that could easily have been avoided and which were hills not worth dying on. Rather than bring a group together to help find a common consensus, he found it necessary to personally define what would happen and in the end lost key supporters in the church. His lack of flexibility and black and white thinking caused polarity rather than inclusiveness which ended in great and unnecessary pain.

There are issues that are non-negotiables for leaders in order to achieve missional effectiveness. Most are not. The flexibility we have is a sign of good EQ - or lack of it.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Spiritual depth and Christian leadership

King Saul, in the Old Testament is a great example of a leader who started well but neglected the practices of a deeply influential leader leading to a terrible finish. In his early years, he looked and acted like a king. He was described as “an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites – a head taller than any of the others” (1 Samuel 9:2). In the early years of his reign he pulled off some impressive victories but early on there were signs that all was not well.

Saul started to believe that his leadership was about him rather than about a stewardship given him by God to us on His behalf. He ignored the prophet Samuel's instructions, and over time his leadership deteriorated, his heart showed the shallowness that it really was (even trying to kill David), until he himself lost his life on the battle field.

While Saul started impressively, it was the lack of depth in his spiritual life, the lack of wisdom in decision making that resulted in his long term decline in leadership effectiveness. He made poor decisions, took on bad advisers, displayed terrible emotional intelligence and undermined his own leadership as a result. Saul operated from a shallow rather than a deep place.

In an interesting comparison between the description on Saul an “an impressive young man,” when the prophet Samuel was instructed by God to go to Bethlehem to anoint one of the sons of Jesse (1 Samuel 16), he arrived and immediately assumed that Eliab must be the one (he looked like kingly material). “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’”(1 Samuel 16: 7). Instead of Eliab and the others, God had chosen the youngest, David, who was out tending sheep at the time which indicated his lowly position as the youngest.

God has an intriguing way of choosing leaders that would not be natural from the world’s point of view. Whether a Deborah during the time of the Judges, Paul, a former persecutor of the church, the disciples, many of whom would not be chosen to change the world, Joseph, a former convict, Moses, a “has been” who came into leadership with a felon record and from leading sheep for forty years, and the list could go on.

What God is looking for is depth of heart, faith, and wisdom that comes from the deep places in the inner self. The difference between Saul and David is startling and central to that difference is the deep inner well of spiritual depth that characterized David. This depth was evident even at an early age when it was he who took on Goliath (age 16 or so) but was deepened during the years between his anointing as King and the death of Saul when he became the leader of Judah and then Israel.

The books of 1 and 2nd Samuel are deeply instructive for those who want to lead well. Clearly David was a highly gifted leader. He engendered great loyalty from those he led, he was strategic in his leadership moves, undaunted by adversity and tenacious in reaching his goals. We know, however, from the Psalms that there was a rare inner depth which came from his relationship and dependence on God. One wonders where David found the time to go this deep spiritually when he was also the CEO of Israel but clearly he did. And the long term effectiveness of David when compared to Saul tells the story of why this matters.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

What leaders need to know

Have you ever sat down with a friend or colleague or leader to gently try to tell them something that they really needed to hear but the moment they realized you were addressing something they perceived as critical, the defenses went up, the body language told you that the conversation was not going to be easy and instead of a dialogue there was only a defensive response?

This is all too common, especially among ministry types (I am one) who seem to be more defensive than the general population because their ministry (what they do) is so wrapped up with themselves (who they are) that it is hard for them to take a step back, listen to counsel, advice or honest feedback without feeling that they and their ministry are being attacked.

The result for ministry leaders is that they often do not hear what people are really thinking because they have trained them that they are not responsive to honest feedback that they might construe as criticism.

I was once tasked to solve a difficult financial issue and when I presented my findings and solutions to my ministry leader he became angry, defensive and called me arrogant. Why? Because he did not want to hear "bad news" that challenged his paradigm of how things should be. With a response like that, he was training his people not to give him honest feedback because we knew that he didn't want to hear it and that it would not be a pleasant conversation.

This raises two questions for leaders. The first is, "Can I overcome my fear of hearing something that I may not want to hear and do so in a way that invites honest feedback rather than pushing it away?"

The reason we would resist honest feedback is that we are fearful that it reflects poorly on us. That is the source of our defensiveness. It is also an indication of poor emotional intelligence (EQ) because people with healthy EQ are open, non-defensive, and exhibit a "nothing to prove, nothing to lose" attitude. Indeed they not only invite feedback but when they get it they engage in non-defensive conversation to draw out the issues and seek to understand what the individual is saying.

In Proverbs, it is the classic "fool" who resists counsel and feedback, while the "wise" invites it and listens to it.

This raises a second important question: "Why would I risk the danger of not knowing what people really think by resisting honest feedback?" The end result of defensiveness in the face of feedback is that people often stop telling us what they really think and only what they think we want to hear.

There are two predictable outcomes of this scenario. One is that we don't know what is going on within our own team or organization and the second is that our defensiveness creates cynicism by people who do not feel like they can be honest. Both are dangerous for a leader.

I once suggested to a Christian leader whom I consulted with that he did not know what his people really thought about him because of his defensive attitude. He just looked at me with a blank face that said, "I don't care." He is in for a rude awakening when his leadership comes apart and he discovers that he has alienated many of his staff. His fear of knowing their true feelings was greater than the danger of not knowing but he will discover that in the end the danger of not knowing is higher than the fear of knowing.

Healthy leaders want honest feedback for the sake of their ability to lead well and for the health of the organization. Their healthy EQ invites honest conversation and they keep their anxiety and fear under control so that they are open to suggestions, critique and feedback. They listen carefully and then evaluate the information for its truth or relevancy. They do not need to agree with the feedback but they want to know what people are thinking. 

Violations of good board behavior that kill good goverenance

Good boards practice good governance which means that they go out of their way to not violate healthy board practices. The fact is that unhealthy practices on boards create all kinds of chaos and conflict within ministries. Healthy boards contribute to healthy ministry while unhealthy boards contribute to unhealthy ministry. Having worked with ministry boards for 25 years I would suggest that the following violations of good governance are responsible for a great deal of harm among ministries.

Not keeping confidences of the board room.
The board room is a place for honest, robust dialogue where any issue can be discussed with the exception of personal attacks and hidden agendas. However, that is only possible in an environment of trust which means that board members need to be assured that their deliberations will always be kept confidential. Once that trust is breached it is hard to regain it.

Allowing staff to go around their supervisor directly to board members on issues that concern them.
This is a huge "no no" for several reasons. First, it violates the principle that every individual has only one supervisor. Second, the board member now has one side of an issue and has information other board members don't have skewing his or her perception. Third, it is not fair to the organizational leader who may not know what is happening and certainly doe not know what is being communicated and it undermines their authority. Board members always respect the chain of authority in an organization and have in place a grievance policy for those times when it warrants it. 

Not supporting decisions of the board once they are made.
This is a hard one especially when a board makes a poor decision. And, there are times when decisions are so poor that it may make sense to step off the board knowing that one cannot support its decisions. If one is going to serve on a board, however, it must speak with one voice through its decision making process. Robust dialogue should take place in the board room but once the decision has been made it is the boards voice that is heard, not individual voices.

Allowing factions to grow on the board bringing division to its deliberations.
Divided boards create divided congregations. Further, board factions make it impossible for the board to make decisions together since faction by definition divide. It is critical that board members exercise the discipline of maturity in this and don't allow factions to divide them. That is a choice we all make and it is a clear sign of either maturity or immaturity.

Allowing any individual to control the outcome of decisions.
No individual, be it the pastor, a founding member or influential individual should have the power to veto or determine board decisions. Healthy boards have a collective voice determined by prayer, and collective deliberations. 

Protecting a piece of the pie rather than the health of the whole.
Board members do not represent a constituency or a piece of the ministry but are there to ensure the health of the entire ministry. Even when board members serve as quasi staff in a new or small church, once they enter the board room they put their board hat on and represent the whole, not a part.

Focusing on administration to the exclusion of a vibrant prayer and study rhythm.
Boards must pay attention to administrative issues within a church but most church boards err on the side of administration to the exclusion of prayer and relevant Scripture study together. Some boards never pray together and yet they represent a Christian cause. Prayer and the Word are the work of a board that is serving as under servants of God.

Operating without a board covenant.
Board problems almost always trace back to poor behavior or practices of one or more board members. A well written board covenant spells out the expectations of board members to speak well of one another, keep confidences, resolve personal conflict quickly, abide by board decisions and so on. Board members not only sign that covenant but they agree to be held accountable for living up to it. It goes a long ways toward ensuring a healthy board.

Ignoring known issues.
It never ceases to amaze me that boards have an uncanny ability to live with issues that everyone knows exist but that no one is willing to state or put on the table for discussion. It is pure conflict avoidance - the elephant in the room - that we are afraid to discuss openly. Here is the bottom line: It is cowardly not to be able to discuss known issues. Elephants are not elephants once they are named. Rather, they are issues to be discussed and prayed over. Board members need to put on their grown up pants once in a while and deal with hard stuff. 

Focusing on the small rocks and pebbles rather than the big rocks.
This is a major sin of many boards. They allow the trivial to keep them from discussing the truly important. Why? For one it is easier. Second, it seems urgent at the time. Urgency is not the same as important, however and many things can be delegated to others. The way to control this is to empower the chair of the board to allocate the bulk of the board tine for those things that are most important and let the pebbles and sand go to the bottom or to someone else.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

When there are alignment issues

Few things are more frustrating to good leaders, staff members or board members than to have an individual on the team who is significantly out of alignment with the rest of the board or staff. It takes just one individual who is not committed to the same direction to stall out what would otherwise be healthy governance or staff dynamics.

The most important work of a staff or board is to ensure that they are clear regarding their direction - and that there is equally clear support for that direction. That clarity is hard work but without it you have people moving in multiple directions and essentially negating the opportunity you have.
Once direction is clarified, what happens if there is a staff member - or board member who simply will not buy into the ministry direction?

At the staff level, the alternative is pretty clear. The staff member needs to find a place of ministry where he or she can minister with a happy heart and a clear conscience. I am constantly amazed at the poor EQ of some individuals who think it is OK to simply go their own direction even if it is at odds with their leader or the team. It is not OK - and leaders need to bite the bullet and transition the individual out of their ministry - or get on board.

Congregations that experience a lot of conflict or lack of directional agreement are usually taking their cues from either a board that is not unified or a staff that is not unified. If boards or staff are not in alignment, the congregation won't be either.

At the board level, it is a harder issue. However, a board can, (if it has the courage), have honest dialogue together and ask an individual to step off the board if they will not cooperate or cannot agree on a common direction.
This is not to stifle robust dialogue at the board level. But if there is not fundamental philosophical agreement after the hard work of determining clarity of direction, then there is a miss-match between the recalcitrant member and the rest of the board. For him or her to stay in leadership in those circumstances is counter productive for both parties.

This can also involve specific issues a board faces. I was once on a church board during significant conflict in the church. One board member was unable to deal with the conflict and come to a decision. I asked him to step off the board for a period of time so that the board could act rather than allow him to keep the board in constant dialogue and put off necessary action.

Wise boards do not allow anyone to join the board who is not in philosophical agreement with the direction of the key leadership (staff and board) or without signing a board covenant that spells out how the board interacts with each other.

There is no possibility of maximizing ministry without alignment in staff and boards. If you have an arrow going in the wrong direction, do what you need to do to resolve the issue.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Congregations of compassion

When Jesus died for us he met our greatest need that we had no way to meet ourselves. In the Sermon on the Mount he promised that our Heavenly Father knows our needs and will meet each one.

Being the people who show Jesus to the rest of the world requires having a mindset to meet the needs of those around us because is reflects what God did for us.

Every day we greet people with, “How are you?” We need to learn to ask the next logical question, “How can I meet this need?” when we become aware of issues they are facing.

This has been an expectation of God’s people from the beginning. As the prophet Isaiah said,

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked,

to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.”

Historically and currently, active and selfless compassion directed toward our fellow man without the expectation of anything in return is what differentiates Christianity from other faiths. This was certainly the case in the early church.

How can local churches make this commitment to meeting the needs around them a part of their culture?

First, we can create a culture of personal compassion. Compassion commitment needs to come at the ground level and not be relegated to “professional” or committee ministry.

We need to develop a congregational ethos of individual accountability of meeting needs of the people around us. This will flow out of each person’s love and concern for people around them fueled by God’s love for each of us. Before we organize any programs to meet compassion needs, we need to figure out how to mobilize the individuals in the congregation to recognize and then meet the needs of people around them.

The initial “target” for compassion ministry can to be the people in our neighborhoods, workplaces, and schools and not focused on special populations that do not touch our daily lives. The development of this commitment starts from the pulpit.

We need to identify members of our body who have special gifts in mercy, compassion, and servant hood to mentor the rest of the congregation. Who can we have tell stories about on Sunday mornings to illustrate the joy of being Jesus’ hands to people around them? Who are the individuals involved in groups in our body that could help others in that group develop a commitment for meeting needs around them?

Second, we need to have a mechanism to make people and material resources available to the individuals who are meeting needs in their community.

A congregational survey of skills and availability may be a way to start a resource list. For example, if a person is aware of a neighbor with a roof leak who is not able to repair it and they are ready to jump in to meet the need, it would be enormously helpful to know who they can call for partnering in meeting that need.

Third, as a congregation develops the skills of identifying and meeting needs of people around them, individuals will rise to the surface that have a special passion for specific needs. Capitalize on their interest and expertise to build a ministry team that focuses on coordinating and deploying like minded folks to meet needs that arise.

One church I know has a “rapid response team” ready to go to work and their main complaint is that they don’t have enough to do!The point is that the key to developing a culture of compassion in our congregations is to start with our people meeting one another’s needs and meeting the needs of those who are in their circles of relationships.

If this becomes an expectation, you will see people from all walks of life releasing the love of Christ to those around them in tangible ways.

A few years ago Mary Ann and I were the recipients of this kind of love as a group from several churches painted and resided our home - something that desperately needed done but which we not do because of health limitations. We didn't ask, they simply said, "we are going to to this." We were humbled by their care and by God's love to us through them.

What if whole congregations could be mobilized to develop that culture, ethos and servant-hood! It would change lives, and our congregations.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Creating a dynamic team

As a leader, one of my highest priorities is to create a happy, dynamic, results oriented team that is energized, creative, collegial and deeply committed to a common mission. Here are some of the key elements that I believe are non-negotiable if one wants that kind of team and working environment.

Hire the best

God has gifted me with a wonderful team of professionals because we have worked on finding the very best people - in fact people that are a whole lot better at what they do than I am. This requires a leader who is not threatened by strong personalities and huge degrees of competency.

Tailor the Jobs

Great team members want to play to their strengths. Spend the time you need to ensure that the job reflects the strengths of your team members. The rule is that 60 to 80% of our time should be spent in areas of strength, not weakness. If the targets are not met, the level of dissatisfaction goes up. As time goes on, continue to be flexible in tailoring jobs to keep your people engaged and fulfilled.

Monitor happiness factors
I ask my team members regularly, what is your happiness factor, and they ask their reports. We want to know on a scale of 1-10 where people are at. If the number is seven or below I will probe. Sometimes it is a life issue but often it is a work issue that I can seek to resolve.

Create a collegial atmosphere
Everyone on the team is a critical member of the team from the lowest paid to the senior executives. Everyone's opinion and voice is heard and counted. Our jobs may differ but the honor, respect and voice we give to everyone is absolutely critical.

Empower people
Once a job has been defined, empower people to make appropriate decisions and to accomplish their job their way in line with the values and ethos of the organization. There is nothing more liberating than to allow people to use their gifts and creativity to accomplish their job.

Keep mission central
We are here for a common misson and we want to ensure that everyone is pulling in the same direction. The more clear the mission is, the more committed people will be to that mission. In addition, clarity of mission and strategy give people the information they need to make good decisions in their area of work.

Practice a monthly coaching/mentoring meeting

Take time each month to sit down and find out how your team members are doing, where they are facing challenges and what you can do as their supervisor to facilitate their success. Your investment in a monthly meeting sends a message to team members that you value them, want to help them and are committed to their success.

Be available
Senior leaders who are available to everyone on their team engender high loyalty. Often leaders see this as a distraction. In reality it is one of the most important things a leader does because your team members are the most important key to the organization's success. Show interest in people's lives, work and families.

Ask lots of questions
The more you know about what people are doing, the challenges they face and their wiring, the better you will be able to support them and help them maximize their gifting. Good leaders ask questions designed to probe and gain information they would not otherwise have. Few things show people great regard than to care about them and inquire about their work and lives.

Encourage robust dialogue
Rule. No issue is off the table except personal attacks or comments with hidden agendas behind them. Foster an atmosphere where honest dialogue is encouraged, new ways of doing things can be explored and creative collaboration is the standard.

Be generous with your praise

You cannot thank people enough or publicly recognize their contribution. After all, it is their work that makes the team successful. Go out of your way to make sure staff knows how much you appreciate them.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

We either innovate or stagnate

Autopilot is wonderful for our car but dangerous for our ministries!

We are on autopilot in our ministries when we become comfortable with what is rather than constantly asking what could be. As a ministry leader I am amazed at how quickly we become comfortable with where we are and stop asking the important questions about our strategies, effectiveness and how well we are accomplishing our mission.

It is human nature to crave the stable and comfortable. However, the more comfortable we become, the less missional we become. The words comfortable and stagnation are synonymous words for good leaders, and not good words..

There is a poster that says, "If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got." Here is the danger: The longer you remain comfortable the harder it is to get out of the comfort zone and do something different.

One of the significant contributors to stagnation is the pace at which we live which robs us of time to think, to evaluate, to ask critical questions and to explore what others might be doing that is seeing success. The busier we are the more likely it is that we do not have the time or energy to think and evaluate  Ironically, our ministry pace may well rob us of ministry effectiveness!

Avoiding the comfortable and stagnation is one of the responsibilities of every leader - whether of a team, a division, a ministry or an organization. Even if you are not naturally an innovator!

Leaders who keep their organizations from the comfortable and stagnation have some common characteristics.

First, they take time to think, to read, to pray and to strategize. This is the "do less to accomplish more" principle. Wise leaders actually build time into their schedules when they are unavailable to others so they can think about the ministry they lead.

Second, they always ask the question: "Is there a way to do what we do differently that would increase our effectiveness?" As a mission leader, I am convinced that many mission agencies are doing the same thing today that they did fifty years ago, good work, but not very effective work given the way the world has changed.

The problem is that they have been comfortable for too long and neither leaders or ministry personnel are asking the effectiveness questions. The same is true for many churches that cruise along without much change year after year.

Three, they are never satisfied with the status quo. The status quo is a danger zone. Good leaders know that there are always better ways to leverage effectiveness  They keep gently pushing their team or organization to keep looking for ways to see better results for their time, energy and resources.

Four, they are always looking at what others are doing for better ways to do what they are doing. We don't need to be innovators to innovate. What we do need is both a radar and relationships that keep us informed as to what others are doing - and where appropriate - what we might be doing.

Fifth, they are deeply missional and keep the mission in front of their team or ministry all the time. Instilling a deeply missional mindset among everyone in our ministry will go a long way in helping them avoid the comfortable. People who are driven by mission are never satisfied with the status quo.

One of the ways to know how comfortable you are is to ask the question, how many significant changes have we made in the past five years? The smaller the number, the more likely it is that you are living in the comfort zone. This is not change for change sake. It is innovation for the sake of greater effectiveness.

We either innovate or we stagnate.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Mike Stickler and Raise Your Vision: An important message of disassociation

For personal reasons I am distancing myself from Mike Stickler, The Vision Group and their conference Raise Your Vision of which I am listed as a participant. I want to make it clear that I am not affiliated with, endorsing or participating with the conference even though I recorded a session with them prior to realizing that I do not want to be associated with Mike and the group. 

I asked them to remove my name and session from their video conference but they not only declined but have been using my name to promote their event. Some weeks ago I informed them that if they continued to use my name I reserved the right to make a public statement which I am doing today. 

It pains me to make this announcement but one's reputation is the most precious thing they have thus I feel constrained to do so.

The art of negotiation, timing, and strategy in ministry change

Ministry attracts people with strong belief systems and convictions. Another way of saying that is that it attracts people can be very black and white, impatient and convinced that one must act - now!

It is what also gets many young leaders in trouble. Their beliefs and convictions get in the way of thinking through the ramifications of their actions. For them, it is about right or wrong. For others it feels harsh and often unnecessary. 

Ministry has politics like any other organization. Politics is not good or bad - depending on how one approaches it. It is recognizing that there are different groups in a congregation who share common perspectives that may differ from other groups and unless one can navigate those differing perspectives, you cannot lead. I would suggest that there are three skills that young leaders need to develop in order to navigate the political waters of leadership in ministry.

The art of negotiation
I have worked with many churches on reforming their outdated and noneffective governance systems. Rarely does one get all that one wants in the process because their are sacred cows embedded in the bi laws. Some of the issues may be seen as Scriptural issues, others not but they are important to someone which is why they got there in the first place.

Leadership is knowing how far and fast one can go without losing those you are leading. It is learning to negotiate differing concerns, seek common solutions while realizing that these are not usually hills to die on. Good leadership settles for what it can get at a particular time to move the ball down the field knowing that there will be another day to address other issues that need to be addressed. 

The art of timing
Even when one knows what needs to be done, knowing when to pull the trigger is just as important as knowing that the trigger needs to be pulled. I have just finished reading Rise to Greatness: Abraham Lincoln and America's Most Perilous Year (a great book by the way). 

One of the most critical issues Lincoln faced was that of freeing the slaves in America (Emancipation Proclamation). It was not a matter of if but a matter of when and how since both the timing and the way it was done had huge political ramifications at a time when the union was deeply divided over many issues. Lincoln took heat from many sides for not acting sooner than he did but he recognized that the when and the how were critical factors in the success of the what.

A leader can only successfully lead change at a rate that he/she will be followed. Move too fast and you lose too people and coinage. Move too slow and you lose good people who want to see ministry move forward.  Trusted counselors and boards can be immensely helpful in knowing the right timing.

The art of the strategy
When we talk about change we talk "change management." Healthy change is managed through negotiation, timing and strategy. Let me give a very practical example: I am asked from time to time by church leaders to help them move a staff member out of the church because of a bad fit, budget issues, re-organization, poor performance or some other legitimate reason. 

Letting a staff member go in ministry has consequences. Everyone has a constituency so understanding the potential response is critical, as is negotiating a win/win (where possible) with the staff member being let go. How you do it, when you do it, what you say about it and how well you treat the departing staff member all become critical factors in limiting the fall out in the church. One can do the right thing in a poor way and injure the organization.

There are two common themes here. First, there is an art to any kind of change. The art is to understand the politics and people involved, to know when to make the change and to have a strategy that minimizes negative fall out. The second common theme is that all of this takes a great deal of careful thought, patience and the ability to go where one can go and hold back when one must. Impulsive behaviors in change work very poorly. 

Young leaders grow in these areas by both success and failure. When necessary get a coach and some wisdom to minimize the dumb tax paid in the process

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Embracing all of God's people

I had a wonderful experience recently. Before I spoke at a church conference the senior pastor came up to me and said, "I don't know if you are aware that we have a ministry to those with mental disabilities in our church. In the first service they usually sit in the front and in the second service in the back. If you hear some strange noises or see people walking around during the service, don't worry, we are all used to it." 

Sure enough there were a few in both services that I had the privilege to interact with after the message and between services. Contrast that with another church that removed an individual from the services because his disability might cause a "distraction."

One cannot imagine Jesus marginalizing anyone! When some protested that the little children were doing just that he pointedly turned His attention to them. The sick, the lame, the demon possessed, the prostitutes, tax collectors and the lepers all found in Him a friend. They are also made in His image and of equal importance to Him and therefor to His family.

I was proud of this congregation that was more concerned for all of God's people than that they had a "perfect" service or one in this case without interruption. I am always encouraged when I find churches who embrace all of God's people rather than the ones who fit our criteria. The irony is that we all have issues in our lives: some of us are just better at hiding them than others. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Herding cats and congregational alignment

Congregations are effective to the extent that their people are moving in the same general direction. When leaders have a direction and can mobilize their people in that direction, there is great power. When leaders don’t have a direction or people don’t know the direction, or there has not been significant effort to herd the cats in that direction, mission suffers.

It is not easy to herd cats and it is not easy to get a group of people pointed in the same direction. But it is possible and wise leaders work on making it happen. Here are some basic tips in how to make that happen in your church.

Clarify the basics. 
Leaders need to have clarity before they can communicate clarity. They need clarity around four key areas. One, what is our mission? Two, what are our guiding principles or the non-negotiables for how we do what we do and relate to one another? Three, what is the single most important thing we need to focus on (central ministry focus)? Four, what do we want the end result of our ministry to look like (spiritual vitality)?

Leaders, pastors and staff must have a common set of commitments and a common vocabulary around these four core issues so that they can communicate them consistently and clearly with the congregation.

Communicate constantly. You cannot over communicate the basics. While we may get tired of hearing ourselves saying them, it is in the constant communication of what is truly important that people start to assimilate those beliefs. People crave clarity and good leaders provide the clarity on a regular basis. If you can communicate those key issues in a simple, clear and consistent manner, people will start to remember them.

Be upfront with new members and attenders.
The reference point for what church is or should be for people who have had prior church experience is some church in their past. They often come into a new church thinking that your church will be like some past church. It won’t in all likelihood. Use new member classes or informal gatherings of new attenders to communicate who you are, what your commitments are and what your direction is. Clarify the four issues noted earlier.

This is important if you truly want your culture to reflect your mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and end result. The fact is that you do not want people importing values that are inconsistent with who you are or want to be. Not all churches fit all people. Be clear as to who you are and what people can expect in their experience in your congregation.

Ensure that every ministry in the church is communicating the same thing. You will either lose alignment or gain alignment depending on whether every one of your ministry leaders and key volunteers is communicating the same message. For instance, all staff, volunteers and ministry leaders need to know those things that you are clear on regarding mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and the end goal of your ministries - and have a plan for how they will communicate them in their particular ministry. If all ministry leaders communicate and live out the same message – it will get through.

Use small groups to focus the congregation on key ministries. 
Small groups can either align or miss-align a congregation depending on whether there is a strategy to ensure that leaders are paying attention to the key ministry commitments of the congregation. For instance, one should ensure that every small group is intentionally helping people move toward a common definition of spiritual maturity – depending on how your church as defined maturity. Or, if community involvement is key to your ministry, every small group should have a plan for how they will contribute to community ministry.

All small group leaders should have the same understanding, commitment to and concern for the mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and the desired end result of ministry. If they do not have the same commitment as staff and leaders, the cats will not be moving in the same direction.

Develop your "way"
Executives from around the world pay big bucks to attend Disney seminars on the “Disney Way.” It is the way that the Disney Company does business, treats employees and the unique culture they espouse. Every church ought to have “a way” or a culture that defines it that is inculcated into every staff member, every board member, every volunteer or key ministry leader – and then into the congregation as a whole.

Your way includes the culture you want to create (guiding principles), the mission you exist for, the desired end result of your ministry (spiritual vitality) and the central ministry focus – the developing, empowering and releasing of people into active, meaningful ministry.

This also includes a common vocabulary that is spoken in your hallways, the living out of your preferred culture and a consistent message over time. Done well, you will develop your unique culture and the cats will move generally in the same direction.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Before you determine strategy

As an organizational leader and consultant I encounter many can do people with lots of creative ideas as to what the ministry they are a part of should be doing. Readers of this blog know that I love creative ideas. However, ideas and strategies can also be your undoing if you don't do some critical work first.

Before you go to strategy you need to go to another harder place - ministry clarity. Ministry clarity answers the four key questions every organization needs to answer: Why are we here? What are our non-negotiable guiding principles? What do we need to do day in and day out to maximize our impact? and What culture must we create in order to see our dreams realized. 

Without clarity which becomes the true north of your ministry strategies (whether good or bad) are merely floating ideas which may or may well not contribute to your end result. 

It is only when you know the specific direction you are to go that strategies come into play and the ones you choose should only be those that allow you to move toward the direction you have chosen. Many ideas will take you somewhere. The question is whether they will take you toward the God given vision you have articulated as to where your ministry needs to go. Many ideas and strategies will actually be counter productive to where you want to end up which is why clarity must come before strategy.

As a consultant I am often asked early in a relationship if the ministry should do thus and so. My answer is always "I have no idea." That surprises ministry leaders until I explain that until they have clarity on where they need to go there is no point in discussing specific ideas and strategies. It is truly the cart before the horse.

Many ministries do a lot of good things but never achieve the impact they could have. Usually that is because there is insufficient clarity to guide their decision making process. Clarity is always first, other issues come second. Chapters two, three and four in Leading From the Sandbox are all about getting to clarity. If you know this is a need for your ministry I would encourage you to take a look.

Reflections on Emotional Intelligence

Ministry organizations pay far too little attention to the issue of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). When we hire we look at competency and character and fit with our organization. But, we often gloss over the individual's EQ and if the EQ is not good we pay a price for neglecting this issue.

In most ministry settings the single greatest cause of conflict revolves around poor EQ causing relational issues, bad feelings, disempowerment and lack of health.

Emotional Intelligence, often labeled EQ, is the ability to understand ourselves, know what drives us, accurately see who how we are perceived by others, and know how we relate to others. EQ also measures whether we have the relational skill to work synergistically with others while being 'self defining' and allowing others to speak into our lives or work without defensiveness.

Signs of poor EQ include the inability to listen to others, personal defensiveness, unawareness of how we come across to others, lack of sensitivity to the feelings of others, inability to constructively deal with conflict, a need to control others, narcissism, and the need to have our own way.

Good EQ includes openness to the opinions of others, lack of defensiveness, awareness of who we are and how others perceive us, sensitivity to others, the ability to release others rather than control them, allow for constructive and robust dialogue, and the ability to abide by common decisions.

It is possible for someone to have great competence but to have low EQ and leave relational havoc in their wake. Don't put them on your team. In fact, if they cannot be helped to become healthy, they probably should not be an employee of your ministry because no matter how competent they are, the damage they cause relationally in and outside the organization is too high. The alternative is to put them in a spot where they will do the least damage to others.

One of the sins of ministry organizations is that under the guise of 'grace' or 'being nice' we are not honest with people who have EQ issues. We don't tell them when their style hurts others or causes relational chaos. Then having not been honest, we finally get fed up and let them go. That is not helpful nor fair.

The first step in helping people develop better EQ is to sit down with them and honestly share how the behaviors that are problematic cause problems and to suggest ways that they can modify their behavior to minimize the negative fallout. Many times in our organization we will ask people to see a psychologist when there are significant issues to try to bring change. Where change is not forthcoming we will take action to help them find another organization to work for. The alternative is to compromise the health of the team they are on and the missional effectiveness of the ministry.

Good EQ for leaders is especially important. Leaders with poor EQ often control others, micro-manage, are threatened by people who are more competent than themselves, do not foster robust dialogue and consequently are unable to develop healthy teams. The fallout on the team are issues that people don't dare discuss, mistrust, silo mentalities, frustration of team members and lack of cooperation.

Two excellent articles on Emotional Intelligence are Leadership that Gets Results, Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review, March-April 2000, reprint number R00204 and What Makes a Leader, Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review, January 2004, Reprint number R0401H