The quote is not original - it came from a twenty something Christian leader in Berlin but it certainly caught my attention. Jesus created every one of us for a unique purpose and wired and gifted us so that we could achieve that purpose (Ephesians 2:10). When we discover our the lane God made us for we live with great purpose and satisfaction. When not, we miss the joy!
If God made us for a purpose it makes sense that we would be intentional in discerning what that is. In my book, Live Like You Mean it, I suggest that we need to ask ten crucial questions about our life. The first one is "Why am I here?" It is a question worth pondering because life is not random and God is not random. Therefore we ought not live random lives. God has a unique and wonderful purpose for our life that when discovered gives us great joy and satisfaction.
The good news is that while everyone who finds their purpose in life may be a genius, you don't have to be a genius to discover it.
Ask the question, where do I find the greatest joy? What fills me up when I do it? What do others tell me I am really good at? What does a really good day look like for me? Where do I contribute the best to what God is up to? What do I wish I could do that I am not? In addition, simply ask God for insight into what He made you for. He is the creator and He knows and He wants us to be in our lane for our sake and His.
God created me to teach, preach, write and lead and help build his church globally. When I am in those lanes I am fulfilled. When I get out of those lanes I am pretty ineffective. I am no genius but I understand why God made me. Why did he make you? Are you running in the right lane or trying to be something you are not?
Growing health and effectiveness
A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
It is not a time of methods but of mindset
As an organizational leader I am committed to creating an organizational mindset around those things that I believe to be integral to a healthy organization. What I am not committed to is defining specific strategies for how we get to where we want to go. When one confuses mindset with methodology one has focused on the wrong thing.
Our mindset is described in the four sides of the ReachGlobal sandbox: mission/vision; guiding principles; central ministry focus and our intentional culture. All of these are about a mindset around things like health, team, multiplication, innovation, the developing, empowering and releasing of healthy national leaders, Spirit empowerment and being biblically based to name a few. All of these are principles and habits that if practiced become the mindset of the organization.
How that mindset is lived out goes to strategy which will differ for our staff depending on where they work in the world. Strategies should never become the focus because strategies change as situations change. A mindset should be the cultivated focus. The mindset defines the culture and non-negotiables of the ministry and any number of strategies might suffice to align with and achieve the goals of that mindset.
In our organization we have a mindset of multiplication, for instance. That permeates all of our thinking but how to achieve it depends on the circumstances in which we are working. It is about mindset, not method.
Focusing on methods ultimately locks you into paradigms that hurt you. Focusing on mindset gives you flexibility to achieve your deeply held convictions but in different ways in different circumstances.
Our mindset is described in the four sides of the ReachGlobal sandbox: mission/vision; guiding principles; central ministry focus and our intentional culture. All of these are about a mindset around things like health, team, multiplication, innovation, the developing, empowering and releasing of healthy national leaders, Spirit empowerment and being biblically based to name a few. All of these are principles and habits that if practiced become the mindset of the organization.
How that mindset is lived out goes to strategy which will differ for our staff depending on where they work in the world. Strategies should never become the focus because strategies change as situations change. A mindset should be the cultivated focus. The mindset defines the culture and non-negotiables of the ministry and any number of strategies might suffice to align with and achieve the goals of that mindset.
In our organization we have a mindset of multiplication, for instance. That permeates all of our thinking but how to achieve it depends on the circumstances in which we are working. It is about mindset, not method.
Focusing on methods ultimately locks you into paradigms that hurt you. Focusing on mindset gives you flexibility to achieve your deeply held convictions but in different ways in different circumstances.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Eight kinds of people who should not serve on a church board
Not everyone is qualified to serve on a church board, and choosing the wrong people condemns the board to dishealth and frustration for years to come. Putting someone on a board is easy and hard to remove. So, who should not serve on a church board?
Those who have a personal agenda for the church. Jesus designed church leadership as a plurality of leaders, not an individual leader. That, by necessity, means that we intend to seek God's face together regarding the direction of the church. Rather than a personal agenda, we are committed to a corporate agenda based on seeking God's will. Those with individual agendas will sabotage that corporate pursuit of God's will.
Those who cannot submit to group decisions. The humility to seek God's will as a group and then submit to that direction is a natural extension of the comments above. Regardless of their reasoning, people who need their own way are not qualified to serve in church leadership. Divided boards ultimately create divided congregations.
Those who are black and white and inflexible. Group leadership requires flexibility in the opinions of others and the ultimate decisions of a group. Those who draw fine lines on issues and cannot be flexible will find it difficult, if not impossible, to serve well in a group setting. This includes legalists who draw fine distinctions in lifestyle and fine points of theology where there is legitimate room for disagreement.
Those who cannot deal with conflict. High, high mercy types are better off serving on care teams than leadership boards, as every key ministry decision has the potential to make someone unhappy. That requires that one has the ability to negotiate conflict and even live with the fact that not everyone is happy. It is hard to do if one is extremely high on the mercy scale and does not want to make anyone unhappy.
Those who cannot think conceptually. Some people can only deal with details and love to drill down to the details of anything under discussion. Leaders, however, are responsible for a higher level of discussion and leadership requiring conceptual thinking. Concrete thinkers will always find it hard to do the needed higher-level thinking of a leadership board.
Those who have a history of conflict or relational dysfunction. Healthy boards are built on healthy relationships. Anyone with a history of creating conflict or relational issues should not be put on a leadership board where healthy relationships with God and one another are the coinage of leadership. Leadership is always about helping people become what God wants them to become. It is hard to do if one has a history of conflict and relational dysfunction.
Those who like power. Unfortunately, Power brokers are a fact in many congregations and are always a sign of dishealth. Power brokers are people with a personal agenda that is of higher value to them than a board's corporate decision-making process. Power brokers create factions for their side, which creates division in the board and church. They are dangerous people in any church.
Those who don't truly pursue God fully. Church leadership is about Jesus and where He wants to lead a church. That requires a higher degree of followership to the one on whose behalf one leads and a deep sensitivity to His direction and will. That is only possible with individuals who pursue Him. In defining the character qualities of those who should serve in leadership, the New Testament naturally rules out those whose spiritual life is not healthy or mature.
TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) is passionate about helping individuals and organizations maximize their impact and reach the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.
"Creating cultures of excellence."
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Conventional wisdom is conventional but often not wisdom
There is a poster that I have never forgotten: If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. People of influence understand that truth and don’t want to “get what they always got.” They are never satisfied with the status quo but want better, more effective, and a greater ROM (Return on Mission).
For example, in the past several decades we have assumed (conventional wisdom) that if we do certain things in our churches that those things will result in mature believers. Recent studies have rocked the church world indicating that this conventional wisdom was conventional but not wisdom as the promised maturity among congregants is in short supply. Because of that realization there is a massive effort underway today to determine better ways to see spiritual transformation take place.
In another example, the church world has been dramatically changed in the past decade by “video venues.” Essentially these are services that use the video from the main service location to other locations either on church property or on distant campuses. When the idea was first proposed people said, “no one will watch a message on video” (conventional wisdom). Today the practice is helping ministries grow all over the world using technology. It took a handful of church leaders who said, “I bet this will work, let’s try it.”
The world of missions has been going through a significant transformation as well. One of the most significant transformations has been the shift of missionaries from being primarily hands on practitioners (they are the experts and do ministry) to that of being primarily coaches and trainers (working alongside indigenous leaders) to raise up and champion healthy national workers who in most cases can do better in their context than we can. That shift took place when a number of mission leaders started to ask if there was not a better way to reach a world that has exploded from 1.7 Billion in 1900 to 7 billion today.
There are many such shifts that literally change the ministry landscape. But they start with a leader who asks why things are done the way they are, thinks deeply and comes up with a solution that is radically different than conventional wisdom that results in significant ministry leverage.
Contrarian thinking is characterized by these elements:
Conventional wisdom is not simply accepted as wisdom
Current practices are always scrutinized for better ways
The questions “why” or “why not” are frequent
Knowing what others are doing and why is constant
Multiple voices are encouraged to speak into issues
Risk taking and innovation are valued
Leveraging for maximum ministry results is the constant goal
Thinking grey is common
Innovation comes from thinking differently. And this is a key requirement for leaders of deep influence: They take the time to think, probe, question, dialogue, mull, read, talk to others of deep influence and always question what is for the sake of what could be.
The nemesis of leaders is the pace at which they run which is why the issue of intentional living is so critical. Unless I build significant “think time” into my schedule I don’t even have the time to question conventional wisdom and therefore am unlikely to see significant breakthroughs in the ministry I lead. Yet, how many of us really want to do the same thing over for the same results? It may be that “think time” needs to be at the very top of our list if we want to be people of deep influence.
Think time does not mean simply sitting still. For me, my best thinking comes either when I am writing or doing something deeply relaxing like fly fishing. In both cases, my mind clears of other issues and I can focus in a relaxed way on issues that I have been considering. In the absence of other distractions I come to clarity and ways in which our organization can be better at what it does. In fact, my annual weeks in Montana on vacation and fly fishing are some of the most productive weeks for ReachGlobal and the writing I do.
The busier I am with activity, the less creative thinking I do. And while I may fool myself into thinking that all that activity is critical the truth is that it takes only one significant breakthrough to change the whole equation and take us to a whole new level of ministry – but that significant breakthrough only usually comes when we have time to think. Activity is often the enemy of better ministry paradigms.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Thinking deeply on the things that truly matter
People of deep influence are deep thinkers. Surface thinking is one of the scourges of our time. Shallow thinking leads to shallow solutions and shallow results. Deep influence itself is a result of taking the time to deal with the issues of our inner lives, our relationship with God, our EQ, our shadow side and many other internal disciplines and issues. None of this is possible without the deepest of thinking.
The book of proverbs speaks of “mining” the things of God. That mining is done primarily in the inner recesses of our lives. Henry Nouwen wrote that we don’t like to be silent and still because we are then confronted with the scaffolding of our lives, some of which we don’t like, some of which we abhor. Yet, without taking the time to be still and silent we miss out on the ability to search deep things in our lives and in our ministries. There is a reason that the Lord says through Isaiah, “Be still and know that I am God.” It is in that stillness that we are confronted with His full majesty!
The thinking of people of influence is born out of the practice, habit and discipline of extended periods of thinking. Our frenetic schedules and propensity to activity are the main enemies of deep thinking. As it robs us of time to think it also robs us of our influence.
This is why I block off major portions of my year for writing and thinking. For me, writing often clarifies my thinking so that is a discipline that is critical for me to maintain. I encourage pastors to develop a preaching team so that they can take time off from the weekly grind of preparation to stop and think deeply about their lives and ministries. If time to think, ponder, and meditate deeply is important to us, then our schedules should reflect that discipline. And think time should not be the first to go when things press into our schedules.
Equally important is time for deep dialogue with other leaders. It is not unusual for me to take 24 hours to be with another leader whom I respect and trust and to share our lives and talk through situations we face. This is thinking multiplied as two deep thinkers sharpen and challenge one another!
Truly deep thinkers are hard to find but when one does, they are a treasure to be nurtured and a friendship to be cultivated. For me, one of these is my brother Tom who is one of the most insightful people I know. He is a contrarian thinker and a deep thinker. He asks probing questions and has a humble demeanor. He is as others have said to me, “without guile.” Tom and I regularly try to find time together and both of us leave better for it.
Because I work in the international arena, I rub shoulders with some amazing movement leaders from around the globe. Usually I meet with national leaders in a group setting. But there are some unusually deep thinkers among them that I will schedule full days with, sometimes multiple days. In our mutual dialogue, sharing of life and ministry I come away with insights that cannot be had any other way. Hopefully I leave something of value behind as well. There is a multiplication factor of critical thinking when deep thinkers spend time together.
One of my former colleagues, Steve, actually has a band of five brothers who meet together on an annual basis, and have done so since seminary days. They have a pact to be transparent and honest and they are able to speak into each other’s personal lives, marriages, hearts and ministries. They have developed a powerful bond with one another that helps them think more deeply and live more intentionally.
The book of proverbs speaks of “mining” the things of God. That mining is done primarily in the inner recesses of our lives. Henry Nouwen wrote that we don’t like to be silent and still because we are then confronted with the scaffolding of our lives, some of which we don’t like, some of which we abhor. Yet, without taking the time to be still and silent we miss out on the ability to search deep things in our lives and in our ministries. There is a reason that the Lord says through Isaiah, “Be still and know that I am God.” It is in that stillness that we are confronted with His full majesty!
The thinking of people of influence is born out of the practice, habit and discipline of extended periods of thinking. Our frenetic schedules and propensity to activity are the main enemies of deep thinking. As it robs us of time to think it also robs us of our influence.
This is why I block off major portions of my year for writing and thinking. For me, writing often clarifies my thinking so that is a discipline that is critical for me to maintain. I encourage pastors to develop a preaching team so that they can take time off from the weekly grind of preparation to stop and think deeply about their lives and ministries. If time to think, ponder, and meditate deeply is important to us, then our schedules should reflect that discipline. And think time should not be the first to go when things press into our schedules.
Equally important is time for deep dialogue with other leaders. It is not unusual for me to take 24 hours to be with another leader whom I respect and trust and to share our lives and talk through situations we face. This is thinking multiplied as two deep thinkers sharpen and challenge one another!
Truly deep thinkers are hard to find but when one does, they are a treasure to be nurtured and a friendship to be cultivated. For me, one of these is my brother Tom who is one of the most insightful people I know. He is a contrarian thinker and a deep thinker. He asks probing questions and has a humble demeanor. He is as others have said to me, “without guile.” Tom and I regularly try to find time together and both of us leave better for it.
Because I work in the international arena, I rub shoulders with some amazing movement leaders from around the globe. Usually I meet with national leaders in a group setting. But there are some unusually deep thinkers among them that I will schedule full days with, sometimes multiple days. In our mutual dialogue, sharing of life and ministry I come away with insights that cannot be had any other way. Hopefully I leave something of value behind as well. There is a multiplication factor of critical thinking when deep thinkers spend time together.
One of my former colleagues, Steve, actually has a band of five brothers who meet together on an annual basis, and have done so since seminary days. They have a pact to be transparent and honest and they are able to speak into each other’s personal lives, marriages, hearts and ministries. They have developed a powerful bond with one another that helps them think more deeply and live more intentionally.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Living the incarnation daily
The incarnation is one of the most incomprehensible events in human and divine history. That the divine, the One who created all things, who is self sufficient and without need, would voluntarily become one of the created to redeem what the created had voluntarily destroyed is beyond understanding. With supreme simplicity the Apostle John put it this way: "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth" (John 1:14).
In the incarnation, Jesus chose to step into our shoes, take on our bones, live with our illnesses, frailties, sorrows and joys, and relate to His Father as we do. He became one of us so that we could become one of His family. He fully entered into our space and thus is one who understands us fully (Hebrews 4:14-16).
That is not the extent of the incarnation. For Jesus said to us, "As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world" (John 17:18). In other words as He was sent for incarnation, we too are sent for incarnation - and every time we voluntarily step into the situation of another to share their life, to carry their burdens, to bless them with the love, words or compassion of Jesus - we too, live out the incarnation - again
Incarnation is not a one time event. For those who have been touched by Christ's incarnation, we live it out daily as we step into the lives of those around us with His love. The power of Jesus' incarnation into this world is incomprehensible. The power of all of His people daily living out that incarnation with others is equally incomprehensible. It is the hope of our hurting world because He is the hope of all humanity.
We live out the incarnation when we choose to be the love of Jesus - daily with those around us. As He did for us we do for others. As He identified with us we identify with others. As He cared for the least of these so we care for the least of these. A voluntary entering into the needs of others with the love of the incarnate Christ.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
When is it time to leave?
Nothing is forever - and part of a wise leader's (or key staff member's) periodic evaluation is whether it is time to consider moving on. Interestingly, when that time comes - and it comes for all of us one way or another - it is usually a good thing both for us and for the organization we serve.
A key issue for us to remember is that our work with any organization is a stewardship. In ministry, even if we started and built an organization our work is a stewardship to that organization on behalf of Christ. And, when we can no longer move the organization forward effectively, a part of our stewardship is to ask the question of whether our time 'here' is up.
Asking this question does not mean that we have failed. In fact, just the opposite is true. If we can discern that our time is up, we will have helped the organization. Those who cannot discern the right timing do actually end up hurting their organization. This is not about failure, it is about seasons of life.
What are some of the signs that our time is up?
When our organization has plateaued, or has moved into decline and we are unable to figure out how to reinvision the ministry. There are times when we have run out of ideas or an ability to lead the organization to the next level.
Rather than holding on and pretending that things are like they used to be when the organization was doing well, we serve ourselves and our ministry by saying, "we need fresh ideas and I need a fresh challenge." There is NO shame in that. It is actually deeply honorable because it refuses to compromise the mission (which transcends us) and acknowledges that we are not the right one "for this hour."
When there is conflict we cannot solve. There are also times when there is a level of conflict in the organization for a long enough time that we know in our hearts we cannot solve the problem and that it will take someone else to get the job done. It makes sense, in this case to step aside, both for our own health as well as for the health of the organization.
This does not mean that we run from conflict. It does mean that if we cannot solve the problem, for whatever reason, we don't hold on and allow the situation to compromise our future ministry or the chance that someone else could come in and solve the problem.
When we have become deeply restless over a period of time. Long time restlessness is often an indication from God that we need a new challenge. This differs from the issue above because things may be doing just fine in our organization - and we know we could continue on for the rest of our career. But the restlessness does not leave.
If you are restless and it does not go away, consider the fact that God has another assignment for you where you will be challenged to grow and develop in a new way. I spoke recently with an effective pastor in a healthy church who with tears in his eyes said "T.J., I know I could stay where I am but there is a restlessness in my soul. I am 50 something years old and I just feel like there is one more run that God has for me. What do I do?" He is feeling the restlessness of the Spirit and needs to pay close attention to it.
When we have lost the confidence either of the board (if we are the senior leader) or our supervisor (if we are part of the team). This takes good EQ on the part of a leader or staff member. In ministry organizations, one can lose the confidence of a board or a supervisor long before they will take action to suggest you move along - there is a lot of grace and a lot of conflict avoidance in ministry organizations.
However, here is the truth of the matter. When this happens, whether it feels just or not, and whether we agree or not, our ability to minister is severely compromised because those we need support from are no longer giving it. Wise people choose to address the issue and have a frank conversation with their board or supervisor and if it is clear that the necessary support is not there, they will be proactive in looking for God's next assignment.
The final reason to leave is where God grabs our heart - unexpectedly - for something we were not looking for or seeking. This one takes great discernment because we may be seeing great success in our current ministry and thus have no reason to leave. But, God may have a reason and we need to discern whether the opportunity is someone else's desire for our lives or our desire for our lives.
These decisions are not always easy, and life is not always fair, as I can attest. I have had to make these decisions - I know. But in the end it is not about us but about the ministry we serve. I honor those who are willing to ask the question and act in the best interests of the organization.
I am saddened by those who in spite of all the evidence choose to hang on and in hanging on, hurt the very organization they had served so well.
A key issue for us to remember is that our work with any organization is a stewardship. In ministry, even if we started and built an organization our work is a stewardship to that organization on behalf of Christ. And, when we can no longer move the organization forward effectively, a part of our stewardship is to ask the question of whether our time 'here' is up.
Asking this question does not mean that we have failed. In fact, just the opposite is true. If we can discern that our time is up, we will have helped the organization. Those who cannot discern the right timing do actually end up hurting their organization. This is not about failure, it is about seasons of life.
What are some of the signs that our time is up?
When our organization has plateaued, or has moved into decline and we are unable to figure out how to reinvision the ministry. There are times when we have run out of ideas or an ability to lead the organization to the next level.
Rather than holding on and pretending that things are like they used to be when the organization was doing well, we serve ourselves and our ministry by saying, "we need fresh ideas and I need a fresh challenge." There is NO shame in that. It is actually deeply honorable because it refuses to compromise the mission (which transcends us) and acknowledges that we are not the right one "for this hour."
When there is conflict we cannot solve. There are also times when there is a level of conflict in the organization for a long enough time that we know in our hearts we cannot solve the problem and that it will take someone else to get the job done. It makes sense, in this case to step aside, both for our own health as well as for the health of the organization.
This does not mean that we run from conflict. It does mean that if we cannot solve the problem, for whatever reason, we don't hold on and allow the situation to compromise our future ministry or the chance that someone else could come in and solve the problem.
When we have become deeply restless over a period of time. Long time restlessness is often an indication from God that we need a new challenge. This differs from the issue above because things may be doing just fine in our organization - and we know we could continue on for the rest of our career. But the restlessness does not leave.
If you are restless and it does not go away, consider the fact that God has another assignment for you where you will be challenged to grow and develop in a new way. I spoke recently with an effective pastor in a healthy church who with tears in his eyes said "T.J., I know I could stay where I am but there is a restlessness in my soul. I am 50 something years old and I just feel like there is one more run that God has for me. What do I do?" He is feeling the restlessness of the Spirit and needs to pay close attention to it.
When we have lost the confidence either of the board (if we are the senior leader) or our supervisor (if we are part of the team). This takes good EQ on the part of a leader or staff member. In ministry organizations, one can lose the confidence of a board or a supervisor long before they will take action to suggest you move along - there is a lot of grace and a lot of conflict avoidance in ministry organizations.
However, here is the truth of the matter. When this happens, whether it feels just or not, and whether we agree or not, our ability to minister is severely compromised because those we need support from are no longer giving it. Wise people choose to address the issue and have a frank conversation with their board or supervisor and if it is clear that the necessary support is not there, they will be proactive in looking for God's next assignment.
The final reason to leave is where God grabs our heart - unexpectedly - for something we were not looking for or seeking. This one takes great discernment because we may be seeing great success in our current ministry and thus have no reason to leave. But, God may have a reason and we need to discern whether the opportunity is someone else's desire for our lives or our desire for our lives.
These decisions are not always easy, and life is not always fair, as I can attest. I have had to make these decisions - I know. But in the end it is not about us but about the ministry we serve. I honor those who are willing to ask the question and act in the best interests of the organization.
I am saddened by those who in spite of all the evidence choose to hang on and in hanging on, hurt the very organization they had served so well.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Change blindness and missions today
I saw an interesting video recently regarding "change blindness." In this experiment, a customer would come up to the counter for some kind of help. After a moment of discussion the clerk would excuse himself to find the appropriate form, duck down under the counter (to get the form) while another clerk moved into place under the counter, popped up with the form and continued the conversation. In almost every instance the customer never realized that they were talking to a different person - change blindness.
As one who works in the ministry world - missions, churches and Christian non-profits - I see this phenomenon all the time. Something changes before our very eyes, actually right in front of us and we don't realize that the change has taken place.
I often call the major changes that have taken place during my own lifetime the change from a black and white world and the now color world.
All of us are blind to some of the changes that take place around us. We are so familiar with the usual that we don't recognize the unusual. When my son was living in Chung Du, China for a year he once spoke to a clerk in Chinese. He answered, I don't know English. He again asked his question in Chinese, and the answer came back, "I don't know English," at which time the other clerk said to the first clerk, "He's speaking Chinese, stupid!" An example of being so familiar with the usual that we don't' recognize the unusual!
Monumental changes are taking place in missions today but like the clerks who changed places, many missionaries and agencies didn't notice the change.
One: the key to missions is no longer the missionary from the West to the East or the South. The key to missions today is the sending of believers from all parts of our world to all parts of our world, especially the least reached parts. Increasingly mission teams are being made up of people from the west, east, and south working together in a location to reach the unreached. This requires a new humility and partnership on the part of those who for many years played the major role in world missions as they move from being "the leaders" to "one partner at the table" and it is a round table!
Two: missions today is less country specific as it is people specific. In a globalized world where borders are often easy to negotiate, countries mean less than they used to mean. Multi-national corporations have discovered this and missions are beginning to discover this. People groups, whether Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, tribal, or language specific are often more important than the boundaries of countries.
These "affinity" groups are increasingly more important than country boundaries. One of the practical results of this is that many mission agencies are abandoning the old "country" structures they had for "affinity groups" that transcend a specific country. Globalization has allowed and driven this change which was far more difficult in the black and white, pre globalized world.
These "affinity" groups are increasingly more important than country boundaries. One of the practical results of this is that many mission agencies are abandoning the old "country" structures they had for "affinity groups" that transcend a specific country. Globalization has allowed and driven this change which was far more difficult in the black and white, pre globalized world.
Three: The key to multiplication today is that missionaries become enablers, coaches and empowerers of others rather than doing it all themselves. This is hard because it is a loss for those who were used to doing ministry by themselves. It is a gain in that it reflects the theology of Ephesians 4:12 where those in ministry are instructed to equip others and give ministry away in the spirit of Jesus. In this paradigm, western missionaries move from being the leader out front to being the coach in the back, encouraging and coming alongside indigenous leaders who are now out front leading the ministries.
Four: A logical extension of this last point is that the best missions today do not own anything, control anything or count anything as theirs. They are, after all, not out to build something for themselves but for the church of Jesus. They are servants of Jesus for the building of His church.
This is a major shift for almost all western based missions who have inadvertently or advertently been controlling entities - a legacy of colonialism, wealth and education that has translated into holding the ministry, financial, education and leadership keys wherever they existed. Indigenous partners are flocking to those mission agencies who have understood this change because they are true partners rather than controlling entities. The table is round and they have an equal seat at the table as they work together for the building of His church.
This is a major shift for almost all western based missions who have inadvertently or advertently been controlling entities - a legacy of colonialism, wealth and education that has translated into holding the ministry, financial, education and leadership keys wherever they existed. Indigenous partners are flocking to those mission agencies who have understood this change because they are true partners rather than controlling entities. The table is round and they have an equal seat at the table as they work together for the building of His church.
Five: The logical extension of this comes when mission agencies are less interested in exporting their brand (denominational identity) than they are seeing the planting of healthy, indigenous, reproducing, interdependent and self supporting churches. Jesus did not die for my brand of the church, He died for His bride and our drive to extend our brand rather than His church is often a detriment to the spread of the Gospel.
I remember vividly visiting the closed country of Myanmar and visiting the northern city where Protestant groups over the years had planted their headquarters - like rival countries did when they planted flags at the North Pole. Here you have a deeply Buddhist country where persecution of Christians is rife and in this northern town are the headquarters of every denomination known to man - and a lot not yet known to man.
We all planted our brand with the consequence that they all thought their brand was the brand. They neither cooperate with one another, work together and when push comes to shove, they break off and create a new brand. This is not the vision Jesus had for the church. That is why our mission is committed to planting His church and allowing them to organize as they will.
Our commitment is that we have healthy, interdependent, self supporting, indigenous and reproducing churches. It also means that we have the liberty to partner with whatever Christ followers there are rather than having to start something new because our brand does not yet exist in that location.
We all planted our brand with the consequence that they all thought their brand was the brand. They neither cooperate with one another, work together and when push comes to shove, they break off and create a new brand. This is not the vision Jesus had for the church. That is why our mission is committed to planting His church and allowing them to organize as they will.
Our commitment is that we have healthy, interdependent, self supporting, indigenous and reproducing churches. It also means that we have the liberty to partner with whatever Christ followers there are rather than having to start something new because our brand does not yet exist in that location.
All of us suffer from one degree of change blindness or another. The more aware we are of our propensity to not see change taking place around us the better off we will be. Because we will start looking for it and understanding its implications.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Monitoring our joy quotient: It is a choice
Is your glass half full or half empty?
Take a moment and think about all the issues you are dealing with today. Think about those things that wake you up at night. Consider the "heavy" things that you are dealing with.
It is easy to live with heavy hearts and burdened souls. But it is not how God wants us to live. Consider Paul's closing comments in his first letter to the Thessalonians:
It is easy to live with heavy hearts and burdened souls. But it is not how God wants us to live. Consider Paul's closing comments in his first letter to the Thessalonians:
Be joyful always
Pray continually;
Give thanks in all circumstances,
For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
The first three statements are deeply interconnected. How can one be joyful always? Only when we are living in continual communion with Christ (pray continually) because when we do we realize that we are not only not alone but the issues we face can be given to the Lord of the Universe. Joy and prayer are inseparable. The more connected we are the more joy we experience. Not because our situations would necessarily merit that joy but because we are connected to the source of joy.
The third command is also key: give thanks in all circumstances. We face real issues: but we are recipients of amazing grace in Jesus as well as His daily grace that shows up in our lives all the time. When you live with thanks - and every one of us who knows Christ has an unlimited list of grace to thank Him for, we cannot easily live with downcast hearts and souls. Thanks puts our situation in perspective.
Paul's final words here are also interesting - "for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It is God's will that we live joyfully, connected and always thankful. That is a daily "game changer."
What is your joy quotient today?
Keeping our eyes open and not ignoring ministry threats
One of my hero's Winston Churchill once wrote, "Our difficulties and our dangers will not be removed by closing our eyes to them."
How true that is. And how often we try to close our eyes to them and not deal with them with the realism that we should - and they don't go away.
I spoke recently to a senior pastor who has a staff member that is causing all kinds of mayhem in the church because of poor EQ (Emotional Intelligence). They have actually lost several families. When I asked him what he was learning in leadership these days he said, "Not to avoid the issues that I know are there." He admitted that he didn't like dealing with tough issues but said he and his board had been negligent in not dealing with this staff member.
We usually know in our heart of hearts - our gut - what the difficulties and dangers are. It can be a staff member who is undermining ministry. It could be a staff member whose poor EQ is hurting people in the church but leaders won't deal with it. It could be a ministry strategy that we know isn't working but we don't want to face the reality and pull the plug. It is often a board that is divided and cannot get its act together but no one wants to tackle the elephant in the room! It could be a rogue board member who is talking out of school or politicking outside the board room.
In Winston's day, especially prior to the Second World War, there were many in the British government who closed their eyes to what was really happening in Europe and to Hitler's true intentions. Winston did not and it was his clarion call to action that finally galvanized the British nation to stand up to the problem the world faced.
Are you bold enough to name and stand up to the difficulties or dangers in your ministry context? The truth is they won't go away and the longer they are left unattended, the more costly the pay day is.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Spiritual warfare: The story behind the story
The Bible talks much about spiritual battles that take place behind the scenes as part of the divine drama being played out between Satan and his forces and the Father and His forces. In the book of Daniel, we find this man of God praying desperately for his people, storming heavens gates with his prayers and petitions.
In Daniel chapter ten, Daniel is praying, fasting, and mourning for the plight of his people who are in captivity – their world had come undone in a very big way. One day he was standing on the banks of the Tigris River (present day Iraq) in Babylon and he had a vision of a man “dressed in linen with a belt of the finest gold around his waist. His body was like chrysolite, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude” (Daniel 10:5-6).
Then this heavenly messenger told Daniel why he had not come sooner. “Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before you God, your words were heard and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come” (Daniel 10:12-14).
Even as Daniel had been storming the gates of heaven, God had been at work behind the scenes but there was a literal struggle between God’s emissary and Satan’s forces in the unseen world to prevent God’s messenger from getting to Daniel. The story behind the story is that there is an unseen world where spiritual forces of good and evil are battling it out and we are the characters in the drama that they are fighting over: Satan to steal, kill and destroy and the Good Shepherd to bring life to the full (John 10:10).
As Paul reminds us “Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:10-12).
Here is why prayer is so central, so important and so crucial when life comes undone. Here is the heart of the matter. We have an adversary who delights in hurting us, sidelining us, taking us out of the game, discouraging us, and destroying us. He is the thief of John 10:10, the one called Satan who stole the wonderful creation God intended and the fellowship He wanted with us. At the same time, God has heavenly forces at His disposal to help us, encourage us, protect us and help us overcome the adversary.
The key to this spiritual battle, this story behind the story, is to understand that life is not random but that we are part of the divine drama of redemption, God’s wonderful plan to redeem what has been made bad. Therefore Paul tells us “Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert (watchful for what Satan is up to) and always keep on praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18).
When I lay in United Hospital battling for my life, the consistent theme of my most intimate prayer partners who came to St. Paul to pray for me was that this was not primarily about illness but about a spiritual battle being fought behind the scenes. The only way to fight a spiritual battle is through prayer. Thus the greatest gift we can give one another as Paul wrote above is to keep on praying for all of God’s people.
The evil one thinks he has won when bad things happen to us – when life comes undone. He is counting on the fact that we will respond with bitterness and forsake God: that we will blame God and turn our backs on him. But every time we respond with faith and trust, he is defeated. Every time we turn toward God in boldness and embrace His will Satan is proven to be the liar, thief and fake that he is.
When we, like Job continue to trust in the face of the destruction of the evil one he loses face, loses the battle and God is honored. When we say, like Jesus, not my will but yours be done he is utterly defeated. Every step of faith, every step of trust, every bold prayer is a defeat for Satan and his forces. And God’s people all around the world prove that Satan is defeated every day in their faithful walk with God in spite of their circumstances. Each of us is part of that divine drama that will one day defeat Satan and his forces for all eternity.
One day we will understand how our particular situation fit into the story behind the story and we will be amazed. And the wonderful thing to know is that Satan has already been defeated – God’s D Day was the cross. But the battle continues until Christ returns and reclaims creation with His people and a new heaven and a new earth. In the meantime, we become the champions of God’s power and grace as we trust Him in the face our own situations.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Leaders and those they lead: Social distance
Leaders have an interesting dilemma when it comes to their relationships with those they lead. Certainly, all healthy leaders want a deeply collegial relationship where there is a high degree of trust, collaboration and friendly relationships. However, a leader is not “one of the boys or girls” even though many leaders try to be that out of their need for popularity or affirmation.
Leaders who want to be the “best friend” of those they lead actually lose much of their leadership capital and it confuses roles. There is a difference between “best friends” and “leader.” The “best friend” role is based solely on relationship and common personal interests and no leader who leads an organization of any size can be best friends with all those they lead. Leadership is based on common agreement to a missional agenda, not that we are all best friends.
Leaders press into issues that are sometimes uncomfortable and need to say things that are defining and keep the team focused on the missional glue that holds them together. To the extent that I as a leader need to be “liked” by those I lead, I will avoid those conversations that would prevent me from being “one of the boys.” This is a reflection on the insecurity of a leader more than anything else – and many ministry leaders are deeply insecure.
Wise leaders actually have a sense of a certain “social distance” that they maintain with those they lead. There are situations where I am “one of the boys” but I am always the leader of those I lead. That is the role that my team needs me to play and wants me to play. They are less interested in whether I am their best friend than they are concerned that I am leading the organization in ways that allow us to accomplish the work God has called us to tackle together.
Leaders are neither simply “one of the boys or girls,” nor are they dictators. They develop highly collegial, missionally minded team where the strongest glue is the common ministry they are committed to. But they play the role they are called to play – that of leading the team and keeping the team focused. They do not allow their personal insecurities to cause them to default from leadership to merely friendship. The two are not one and the same!
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Congregational diversity
There is a wonderful picture of worship in the book of Revelation that gives us a snapshot of what heaven will be like. "I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the lamb" (Revelation 7:9).
Many of us who have travelled internationally have tasted the joy of worshipping with those from other cultures and have experienced the common bond that we have in Christ.
But what about our own communities? Are we as passionate in worshipping with and welcoming the various ethnic and socio-economic groups who live in our own neighborhoods? And if you wonder who is actually in your community all you need to do is visit the nearest McDonald's or Wall Mart and one often realizes that there is greater diversity than we thought.
I am thankful that there are a growing number of congregations committed to ministering to all who are in their communities. They are intentionally embracing all whom God has put on their doorsteps and as the neighborhood changes, rather than leaving the neighborhood they are changing their ministries to minister to the changing demographics.
These congregations have embraced a deeply Biblical value: All people matter to God and in Jesus the barriers between peoples, races, ethnic groups and socio economic stratas can be torn down as He builds one people whose common bond is that they are followers of Christ.
This is not an easy process or the easy route for any church. When we start to diversify our ministries we must also start to share decision making, listen to viewpoints very different than ours and learn to appreciate worship different than what we are used to. It takes great humility to embrace people who are different than us and to honor their culture and perspectives.
And, the evil one will attack! He is not interested in unity. He is not interested in the supernatural power of God to bring people together and he will do all he can to sow seeds of misunderstanding, doubt and division. Congregations that embrace "all people" find themselves on the front lines of spiritual warfare and need a robust plan for protection!
I love to worship at the international church in Beijing where one worships with people from every continent in the world. How much better to worship with those God has placed in my own community - embracing the wonderful diversity of people and expression and having to grapple with what it means to be one people in Jesus Christ. A fortaste of that heavenly picture.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Change resistance in the church: It can be chronological age but it can also be related to how long one has been in the church
Pastors often assume that change resistance in a local congregation is a matter of chronological age: those who are older are more change resistant. This is not always true. Some of the most progressive change advocates are older - more a matter of outlook and wiring than it is age.
There is another age to consider, however. It is the age of a church and how long one has attended. It is not unusual for younger adults who have grown up in a church to be the ones who resist change because it messes with the church they knew in Junior and senor high and their entire experience there.
Ironically in one church I attended, the two most change resistant folks to the point of all out warfare was a gal in her forties who had grown up in the church and her father in law who had helped start the church years before. In both cases the resistance came from individuals who didn't want anyone messing with "their" church but age had little or nothing to do with their positions. The age of the church did and their longevity in the church did.
In charting a change course it is critical to pay attention to the concerns and potential responses of even younger generations who have grown up in the congregation - especially those who have influence like the young lady above who was a power broker in the church. It is often how long someone has been in the congregation that make more difference than their chronological age.
There is another age to consider, however. It is the age of a church and how long one has attended. It is not unusual for younger adults who have grown up in a church to be the ones who resist change because it messes with the church they knew in Junior and senor high and their entire experience there.
Ironically in one church I attended, the two most change resistant folks to the point of all out warfare was a gal in her forties who had grown up in the church and her father in law who had helped start the church years before. In both cases the resistance came from individuals who didn't want anyone messing with "their" church but age had little or nothing to do with their positions. The age of the church did and their longevity in the church did.
In charting a change course it is critical to pay attention to the concerns and potential responses of even younger generations who have grown up in the congregation - especially those who have influence like the young lady above who was a power broker in the church. It is often how long someone has been in the congregation that make more difference than their chronological age.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Getting the facts before we make assumptions
I am constantly amazed and saddened at how often believers rupture relationships with other believers because they have made assumptions - often deeply faulty - about motives or actions. In the process, people are hurt, God's reputation is compromised, His mission is thwarted and ultimately the evil one wins which is just what he wants to do. If the evil one can sow seeds of doubt and destruction between fellow believers he will - and he does. How we respond to those seeds of doubt and relational destruction is our choice and it often has eternal consequences.
Before relationships are irretrievably disrupted there are some questions we need to ask.
One, do I have my facts right? How often do we hear something about someone else that is derogatory. Wise individuals know that second hand information is often faulty information. They also know that there are two or more sides to every story. Before we draw our own conclusions we ought to consider the real possibility that there is more to the situation than what we know and either hold our own counsel or if necessary verify the information we have received before drawing conclusions.
In many cases we don't even rely on second hand information but our own assumptions regarding an action or situation and have never simply picked up the phone for a conversation with the one we are making assumptions about. Not only is it foolish to do so but it is deeply unfair to the one who is the target of our negative perceptions who may be and often is fully innocent of the assumptions we have made.
In many cases we don't even rely on second hand information but our own assumptions regarding an action or situation and have never simply picked up the phone for a conversation with the one we are making assumptions about. Not only is it foolish to do so but it is deeply unfair to the one who is the target of our negative perceptions who may be and often is fully innocent of the assumptions we have made.
Two, is there another explanation for what I have heard, seen or observed? Over the years I have discovered that most of the time when I have chosen to draw negative conclusions about a person or situation I discover that my assumptions about motives or actions were not correct and that there was a reasonable explanation for what had taken place that made sense - when I asked. Each time I am stung by the realization of how quickly it is for us to jump to the wrong conclusion - perhaps the result of our own sinful nature and our tendency to see the worst in others rather than the best.
Three, have I talked with the individual myself to discover whether there is a way to resolve the issue at hand? It is amazing what honest conversation, dialogue and questions can resolve that otherwise would have been left on the scrapheap of severed relationships. It is often helpful to involve a neutral third party who can help those who have taken sides hear one another and to clarify issues, assumptions, actions and possible solutions. A simple conversation can quickly solve many badly made assumptions.
I recently heard of a situation where a group was talking about an individual who they seemed unanimously unhappy with. Not one of them, however, had made the effort to talk to the one they were talking about. Thus they were left with their own assumptions which may or may not have been correct but one conversation could have given them some good information.
I recently heard of a situation where a group was talking about an individual who they seemed unanimously unhappy with. Not one of them, however, had made the effort to talk to the one they were talking about. Thus they were left with their own assumptions which may or may not have been correct but one conversation could have given them some good information.
Four, have I contributed in any way to the relationship that has gone south? Often, we choose not to resolve issues because it means that we ourselves must admit that we bear responsibility. It is far easier to save face and paint the picture that we have been aggrieved than to admit to ourselves and others that we also have been wrong. That takes Godly humility and honesty.
Paul makes it clear that there is a battle being fought out of our sight: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).
I am convinced that one of the foremost strategies of the evil one is to cause relational ruptures between His people in order to hurt Kingdom advancement. There may be times when such ruptures are unavoidable (we live in a fallen world) but I don't want to be an unwitting pawn in Satan's hands because I have not been shrewd about his tactics and asked the right questions.
I am convinced that one of the foremost strategies of the evil one is to cause relational ruptures between His people in order to hurt Kingdom advancement. There may be times when such ruptures are unavoidable (we live in a fallen world) but I don't want to be an unwitting pawn in Satan's hands because I have not been shrewd about his tactics and asked the right questions.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Best friends or colleagues
A good friend of mine whom I hired a decade ago to serve as the director of a ministry I had started confided to me his excitement when he came to our organization that "we would do life together." The reality was that as he gave more of his time to this ministry, I gave less of my time to it and ultimately handed it over completely. While he is satisfied with his role and has built his own team, he was initially disappointed that 'we' did not remain 'we' as the ministry grew.
All of us have social and emotional needs that need to be met. The deepest of these will be met with family and friends. Some may be met by those we serve with but it is not a given. Our role on a team is a 'functional' one designed to achieve a specific mission. We may or may not be with our team long term.
The team may change. Our responsibilities may change. Teams are not designed to meet our primary social and emotional needs and if we try to make them do so we will be disappointed when our needs are not met or when roles change.
When individuals see team as primarily about friendship it makes it difficult for them to be honest with co-workers about issues that need to be addressed. We don't want candor to interfere with friendship.
I love working with the senior team I am on which was forged years ago. We have been through incredible times together, endured many great highs and more than a few low lows. We know each other exceedingly well, protect each other, love to be with each other and are committed to one another. We have seen one another through individual challenges, have prayed for family situations, and have sharpened each other to become better people and leaders. I cannot imagine a better team.
But: each of us understands that we are ultimately together because of the mission we serve of "Glorifying God by multiplying transformational churches among all people." Each of us has our own set of friends outside of work that meet our personal, social and emotional needs. Seldom do we socialize outside of work. We are deeply fortunate to work with people we love, respect, know, trust and value. However, we understand that our team is not built on our emotional or social needs but on the mission that we serve together. This is a critical distinction of a healthy team.
All of us have social and emotional needs that need to be met. The deepest of these will be met with family and friends. Some may be met by those we serve with but it is not a given. Our role on a team is a 'functional' one designed to achieve a specific mission. We may or may not be with our team long term.
The team may change. Our responsibilities may change. Teams are not designed to meet our primary social and emotional needs and if we try to make them do so we will be disappointed when our needs are not met or when roles change.
When individuals see team as primarily about friendship it makes it difficult for them to be honest with co-workers about issues that need to be addressed. We don't want candor to interfere with friendship.
I love working with the senior team I am on which was forged years ago. We have been through incredible times together, endured many great highs and more than a few low lows. We know each other exceedingly well, protect each other, love to be with each other and are committed to one another. We have seen one another through individual challenges, have prayed for family situations, and have sharpened each other to become better people and leaders. I cannot imagine a better team.
But: each of us understands that we are ultimately together because of the mission we serve of "Glorifying God by multiplying transformational churches among all people." Each of us has our own set of friends outside of work that meet our personal, social and emotional needs. Seldom do we socialize outside of work. We are deeply fortunate to work with people we love, respect, know, trust and value. However, we understand that our team is not built on our emotional or social needs but on the mission that we serve together. This is a critical distinction of a healthy team.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Who gets the praise?
To be a good leader one must intentionally take on a servant role and prioritize the health and results of the team, not the status or power of the leader. Commitment to team means that we no longer take credit but give credit away for accomplishments to those on the team. We intentionally platform and hold up team members, allowing our influence to flow through them so they have the moral authority to do what they must do in the organization.
One of the tests of leadership is whether a leader needs the spotlight, adulation, praise or credit for the results of the team's work. Great leaders point all of this toward the team because it was the team that accomplished the work. Insecure or narcissist leaders require that they be the center, essentially stealing credit from those who were actually responsible. And don't be fooled, people notice, especially the team who made it happen.
Power, status, spotlight and praise are a deadly aphrodisiac for unhealthy leaders who think it is all about them. They are often charismatic and visionary but they are seldom able to build a strong, unified, results- oriented team because ultimately, it is always about them. Eventually they implode, causing pain for those around them. Unfortunately too many of these addicts find their way into ministry: stay away from them. When it comes apart it is ugly.
Every organization has levels and lines of authority. In healthy teams, however, there is an egalitarian ethos where the leader is a coach and a cheerleader for the team - and all sit at the table as peers with the ability to make an equal contribution. After all, this is NOT about the leader. It is about team that, when working together, can see results that are a quantum leap from what any one individual could produce. Leaders who dominate meetings don't get it and send the message that the team is about 'me' not 'us.'
The job of the team leader is to ensure the success of others, to empower them to do what they can do better than them, to be their coach and cheerleader, and to allow them to see the fruits of their work. When praise comes to the leader, it is wisdom to hold up others because they are responsible for the vast majority of good things that happen. Status and power are not important to good leaders: influence and results are. Good leaders give others praise for successes and take personal responsibilty for failures.
One of the tests of leadership is whether a leader needs the spotlight, adulation, praise or credit for the results of the team's work. Great leaders point all of this toward the team because it was the team that accomplished the work. Insecure or narcissist leaders require that they be the center, essentially stealing credit from those who were actually responsible. And don't be fooled, people notice, especially the team who made it happen.
Power, status, spotlight and praise are a deadly aphrodisiac for unhealthy leaders who think it is all about them. They are often charismatic and visionary but they are seldom able to build a strong, unified, results- oriented team because ultimately, it is always about them. Eventually they implode, causing pain for those around them. Unfortunately too many of these addicts find their way into ministry: stay away from them. When it comes apart it is ugly.
Every organization has levels and lines of authority. In healthy teams, however, there is an egalitarian ethos where the leader is a coach and a cheerleader for the team - and all sit at the table as peers with the ability to make an equal contribution. After all, this is NOT about the leader. It is about team that, when working together, can see results that are a quantum leap from what any one individual could produce. Leaders who dominate meetings don't get it and send the message that the team is about 'me' not 'us.'
The job of the team leader is to ensure the success of others, to empower them to do what they can do better than them, to be their coach and cheerleader, and to allow them to see the fruits of their work. When praise comes to the leader, it is wisdom to hold up others because they are responsible for the vast majority of good things that happen. Status and power are not important to good leaders: influence and results are. Good leaders give others praise for successes and take personal responsibilty for failures.
Self disclosure
You see them on television, calmly smoking cigars, wearing sunglasses as they play for high stakes in poker tournaments. The one thing that is true for all of them is that you cannot tell what they are thinking. There they are, stoic, hiding their emotions and their intentions. Which is why we call people who hold their cards close to their vest good poker players. Many of us can do it well if we choose.
There is a place and a time for keeping our cards close to our vest. But, people with good emotional intelligence, especially leaders do that only rarely. The truth is that it is very frustrating to work for someone or with someone who does not disclose what they are thinking and in appropriate ways, what they are feeling.
One of the key elements of emotional intelligence is that of being self disclosing. That is, being up front and clear as to what we are thinking so that others know where we are coming from, what our expectations are, where we are going, and what our intentions are.
The poker player mentality is that of secrecy and non-self disclosure. If you know someone like that or report to someone like that you know how frustrating that is. It is frustrating and it is unfair to others because it does not allow for honest and transparent dialogue or give others the information they need to work with or for someone who does not disclose their thoughts, emotions or intentions.
This does not come naturally to everyone but it can be learned. If you wonder how well you do on that score, ask those around you if you give them the kind of feedback and information you need as to what you are thinking or intending. And then be intentional in expressing your opinions, thoughts, observations and intentions. In the vast majority of cases, clear self disclosure is far better than holding your cards closely.
Self disclosure is closely tied to the ability of others to trust us. If I do not know what someone else is thinking and cannot seem to get that out of them, it will be very hard for me to trust them with responsibility because I don't know what I am working with. Holding your cards closely works well in poker but not in real life.
There is a place and a time for keeping our cards close to our vest. But, people with good emotional intelligence, especially leaders do that only rarely. The truth is that it is very frustrating to work for someone or with someone who does not disclose what they are thinking and in appropriate ways, what they are feeling.
One of the key elements of emotional intelligence is that of being self disclosing. That is, being up front and clear as to what we are thinking so that others know where we are coming from, what our expectations are, where we are going, and what our intentions are.
The poker player mentality is that of secrecy and non-self disclosure. If you know someone like that or report to someone like that you know how frustrating that is. It is frustrating and it is unfair to others because it does not allow for honest and transparent dialogue or give others the information they need to work with or for someone who does not disclose their thoughts, emotions or intentions.
This does not come naturally to everyone but it can be learned. If you wonder how well you do on that score, ask those around you if you give them the kind of feedback and information you need as to what you are thinking or intending. And then be intentional in expressing your opinions, thoughts, observations and intentions. In the vast majority of cases, clear self disclosure is far better than holding your cards closely.
Self disclosure is closely tied to the ability of others to trust us. If I do not know what someone else is thinking and cannot seem to get that out of them, it will be very hard for me to trust them with responsibility because I don't know what I am working with. Holding your cards closely works well in poker but not in real life.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Who God honors: You might be surprised
We often feel as if our contributions to God's work are insignificant. We are "ordinary" people who don't often have the opportunity to do "extraordinary" things. In fact, I believe that is the feeling of most believers. Yet, as I read the gospels a different picture emerges. A picture of ordinary people not only honored by God but immortalized for all of time as examples of people who please him.
- A woman who gave her last two pennies in the temple.
- A woman who spent all she had and poured oil on Jesus feet to bless him.
- A woman who chose to put aside her busyness and sit at His feet.
- A woman who was sick and came to touch his robe.
- A woman who came to his grave the day of his resurrection.
- A mother who faithfully pondered God's word in her heart.
- Men who let their paralyzed friend down through a roof.
- A woman at he well who believed and told her friends about Jesus.
- A good Samaritan who cared for someone in need.
As you think about today, remember God honors the little things we do on His behalf: a kind word, a helping hand, a loving gesture, a financial gift, or just sitting for a while with our savior in His presence.
Who does God honor? Those whose hearts are turned toward Him. It is never unnoticed. Even a cup of cold water to parched lips in His name!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
The power of focus
Those of us who lead others have a special responsibility to keep those they lead focused on the most important missional activities - those activities and priorities which will help accomplish your mission.
Mission drift often occurs because our attention is diverted from the most important to ancillary issues. Or, because we are too busy with all of the stuff that comes our way - email, phone calls, meetings, problems that need solving - we simply lose focus on what is most important.
The leader of a church of 7,000+ told me not long ago that he realized that their church had been on "auto pilot" for the past year because his attention had been diverted to other things. He owned the issue and again took the helm to lead but it he acknowledged that when he went on auto pilot so did everyone else and significant momentum was lost by the diffusion of purpose.
If leaders do not stay focused those they lead will not either. Because this is often the case, many ministries settle for OK results instead of great results.
Don't get me wrong. It is not that we are not busy. It is that we are so busy that we are not focused on what is most important.
I asked some senior leaders recently how they stay focused on what is most important for their organization. One of them has a white board in their office that reminds him of the most important things he needs to pay attention to. Another said that regular dialogue with a colleague on missional issues was the most helpful to keep him focused. One indicated that he took one day a month to think through his Key Result Areas and remind himself of his priorities.
Staying focused on the big rocks is a challenge even for the most competent leaders because of the incessant demands that divert that focus. What is necessary is developing a strategy to refocus on a regular basis.
Of course this assumes that leaders have clearly defined the priorities of their organization or team and have a clear picture of their priorities and direction.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Imagination
Imagination is a powerful and wonderful gift from a creative God. Lack of imagination is one of the great sins of Christian ministry.
God has a great imagination and sense of humor. If you doubt that, check out these strange animals! You have to wonder if God wasn't just having a lot of fun when he created the dinosaur, the octopus or the blow fish or the caterpillar turned butterfly. Can you tell me why that one? If God had tear ducts, would he have been laughing to tears among himself?
And, then, in making men and woman in His image he passed on the ability to imagine and dream and create new possibilities - but how often do we simply settle for the paradigms that are rather than consider what could be? Failure of imagination is a failure of living out the full potential of God's image in our lives and ministries.
Innovative churches and innovative ministries become that because they take the time to dream and imagine what could be. They ask the question, what could we do differently if we really wanted to catch the attention of people and challenge their thinking? They are like Apple or Google who keep reinventing themselves to catch the attention of consumers - only for ministries, the stakes are much higher.
When we simply settle for how things have always been done, without asking the question, is there a better way, we have shelved our imagination. When we start to dream and imagine what God has in store for us we are living more fully who He made us to be for He is an imaginative and creative God.
In our organization, ReachGlobal, we are praying and believing that God would allow us to influence one hundred million people for the Gospel in the decade that started in 2007. Many would consider that a crazy dream. But, that dream has caused us to think much more creatively about how we do what we do in missions, how we partner, how we multiply our efforts and how we leverage kingdom opportunities.
Without that dream and goal we would have settled for what was instead of asking what could be. It has caused us to bring the best thinking and strategy to the table. It has forced us to be creative and think differently.
What is your dream and are you using all the creative energy God gave to your ministry? Do you take the time to dream and imagine and create new ideas and paradigms? Imagination is a God given gift to be used for His purposes.
God has a great imagination and sense of humor. If you doubt that, check out these strange animals! You have to wonder if God wasn't just having a lot of fun when he created the dinosaur, the octopus or the blow fish or the caterpillar turned butterfly. Can you tell me why that one? If God had tear ducts, would he have been laughing to tears among himself?
And, then, in making men and woman in His image he passed on the ability to imagine and dream and create new possibilities - but how often do we simply settle for the paradigms that are rather than consider what could be? Failure of imagination is a failure of living out the full potential of God's image in our lives and ministries.
Innovative churches and innovative ministries become that because they take the time to dream and imagine what could be. They ask the question, what could we do differently if we really wanted to catch the attention of people and challenge their thinking? They are like Apple or Google who keep reinventing themselves to catch the attention of consumers - only for ministries, the stakes are much higher.
When we simply settle for how things have always been done, without asking the question, is there a better way, we have shelved our imagination. When we start to dream and imagine what God has in store for us we are living more fully who He made us to be for He is an imaginative and creative God.
In our organization, ReachGlobal, we are praying and believing that God would allow us to influence one hundred million people for the Gospel in the decade that started in 2007. Many would consider that a crazy dream. But, that dream has caused us to think much more creatively about how we do what we do in missions, how we partner, how we multiply our efforts and how we leverage kingdom opportunities.
Without that dream and goal we would have settled for what was instead of asking what could be. It has caused us to bring the best thinking and strategy to the table. It has forced us to be creative and think differently.
What is your dream and are you using all the creative energy God gave to your ministry? Do you take the time to dream and imagine and create new ideas and paradigms? Imagination is a God given gift to be used for His purposes.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Are we focused on what we can control or do we spend too much time worrying about what we cannot control?
There are times and seasons in our lives where we waste a great deal of emotional energy worrying about situations or circumstances that we have no control over. It is a mistake! What we ought to focus on are those things that we can control and do something about and leave the other to God - who is in control of all things.
Here is the irony: While we can spend a great deal of time worrying about things that are beyond our control - or complaining about them - there is nothing we can do about them. At the same time there are so very many things that we can control and do something about.
Try this simple exercise. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left hand side write down all those things that are beyond your control but that you worry about. Then on the right hand side make a list of all the things you can control and actions you can take. The point is that there are many things we can do to affect our lives and that needs to be the focus of our time and energy.
This exercise can be helpful in our marriages, our jobs and our ministries. Too often our attention is focused on the wrong side of the page. The left hand side of the page is God's business and the right hand side is our business. Focus on that and leave the rest to God - who is in control of all things.
Here is the irony: While we can spend a great deal of time worrying about things that are beyond our control - or complaining about them - there is nothing we can do about them. At the same time there are so very many things that we can control and do something about.
Try this simple exercise. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left hand side write down all those things that are beyond your control but that you worry about. Then on the right hand side make a list of all the things you can control and actions you can take. The point is that there are many things we can do to affect our lives and that needs to be the focus of our time and energy.
This exercise can be helpful in our marriages, our jobs and our ministries. Too often our attention is focused on the wrong side of the page. The left hand side of the page is God's business and the right hand side is our business. Focus on that and leave the rest to God - who is in control of all things.
A homeless man, street walker, con guy and Mary Ann's former students
Thirty three years ago November was the first Thanksgiving that Mary Ann and I celebrated as a married couple. We had almost no furniture (although a bunch of books) and a little apartment that we paid $90 dollars a month rent for. We wanted to so something special so a few days before Thanksgiving we went down to Micky's Diner, a fixture in downtown St. Paul and told the waitress that we would be there at noon on Thanksgiving and would take anyone who showed up to our house for a Thanksgiving feast.
We will never forget that dinner. First, it was amazing how much these folks ate! Then there was the transparency about their lives. One of the woman was a streetwalker, another guy lived in a building basement downtown where he would warm his food on a radiator. One guy was obviously casing our house and the others warned us about him (there was nothing to take and I didn't think he would want our books). When we had a short devotional after dinner, the tears rolled down faces as they sang songs they remembered from church as kids.
And then there was the con-man. His mother was in critical condition in Duluth, Minnesota and he had no money to get there. So I offered to buy him a Greyhound ticket. Thinking I was pretty smart, I took him to the station, bought the ticket and decided to wait till he got on the bus (If I was getting conned, he was at least going to Duluth). But I made the mistake of giving him the ticket and when I turned around he was gone! Oh well.
We will never forget that dinner. Or the individuals who joined us. Or the stories they told us. Or the sad circumstances that led to their situations.
Fast forward. Until a few years ago my wife worked as a school nurse in a middle class suburb of St. Paul with a student population of over 2,000 students. Every day she would come home with another story of kids in pain. Unplanned pregnancies, kids who had not eaten in days because their parents were on meth and all the money had gone to feed the addiction, kids who were shuttled from parent to parent, relative to relative, no one wanting them. Kids who were abused. No soap opera can compete with the stories Mary Ann heard.
Once Mary Ann threw a birthday party for a sixteen year old girl. She didn't know what to do. She had never had a birthday party in her life!
The kids called her their second mom! She always had food in her office for kids that were hungry. She would always listen and always tell them the truth. She loved them unconditionally and they know she was in their corner. She took parents to court to resolve issues and negotiated numerous "special plans" to help kids graduate. They loved their second mom!
Here is my point. We do not need to go to Mickey's diner to find hurting people. They are in our neighborhoods, our schools and our communities. Pain has no boundaries except those we erect because we "wall ourselves off" from the realities of our world, feeling much more comfortable in our Christian ghetto - commonly called the church!
Now that I think about it, the homeless guy, streetwalker, con-man and Mary Ann's hurting students sound like the folks Jesus intentionally went out of his way to meet and love. If we open our eyes, they are all around us, hopeless, hurting, alone, sad, and not knowing that there is One who loves them. When we choose to love the hurting - and the unlovable - they experience Christ's love. Messy work that will never leave us unchanged. That is the cool part. When we share the love of Jesus in tangible ways we become changed, we become a little bit more like Jesus. How cool.
Remember it was the pharisees who didn't want to engage the "sinners" of the world. Jesus engaged them all the time. He was hard on the pharisees because they were hypocrites. He was never hard on sinners, wooing them with his love, acceptance, grace and mercy. How are we doing? How is our church doing?
This is how Isaiah put it:
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."
We will never forget that dinner. First, it was amazing how much these folks ate! Then there was the transparency about their lives. One of the woman was a streetwalker, another guy lived in a building basement downtown where he would warm his food on a radiator. One guy was obviously casing our house and the others warned us about him (there was nothing to take and I didn't think he would want our books). When we had a short devotional after dinner, the tears rolled down faces as they sang songs they remembered from church as kids.
And then there was the con-man. His mother was in critical condition in Duluth, Minnesota and he had no money to get there. So I offered to buy him a Greyhound ticket. Thinking I was pretty smart, I took him to the station, bought the ticket and decided to wait till he got on the bus (If I was getting conned, he was at least going to Duluth). But I made the mistake of giving him the ticket and when I turned around he was gone! Oh well.
We will never forget that dinner. Or the individuals who joined us. Or the stories they told us. Or the sad circumstances that led to their situations.
Fast forward. Until a few years ago my wife worked as a school nurse in a middle class suburb of St. Paul with a student population of over 2,000 students. Every day she would come home with another story of kids in pain. Unplanned pregnancies, kids who had not eaten in days because their parents were on meth and all the money had gone to feed the addiction, kids who were shuttled from parent to parent, relative to relative, no one wanting them. Kids who were abused. No soap opera can compete with the stories Mary Ann heard.
Once Mary Ann threw a birthday party for a sixteen year old girl. She didn't know what to do. She had never had a birthday party in her life!
The kids called her their second mom! She always had food in her office for kids that were hungry. She would always listen and always tell them the truth. She loved them unconditionally and they know she was in their corner. She took parents to court to resolve issues and negotiated numerous "special plans" to help kids graduate. They loved their second mom!
Here is my point. We do not need to go to Mickey's diner to find hurting people. They are in our neighborhoods, our schools and our communities. Pain has no boundaries except those we erect because we "wall ourselves off" from the realities of our world, feeling much more comfortable in our Christian ghetto - commonly called the church!
Now that I think about it, the homeless guy, streetwalker, con-man and Mary Ann's hurting students sound like the folks Jesus intentionally went out of his way to meet and love. If we open our eyes, they are all around us, hopeless, hurting, alone, sad, and not knowing that there is One who loves them. When we choose to love the hurting - and the unlovable - they experience Christ's love. Messy work that will never leave us unchanged. That is the cool part. When we share the love of Jesus in tangible ways we become changed, we become a little bit more like Jesus. How cool.
Remember it was the pharisees who didn't want to engage the "sinners" of the world. Jesus engaged them all the time. He was hard on the pharisees because they were hypocrites. He was never hard on sinners, wooing them with his love, acceptance, grace and mercy. How are we doing? How is our church doing?
This is how Isaiah put it:
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."
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