Avoiding Pain

Contributing Writer

Ellen Conserva

ReachGlobal Thailand

My friend recently told me about his recovery after shoulder surgery and how long and painful it was. He was finally at a place where he could function, but found that he still needed to make a few adjustments.

“So, I went back to my old comfortable chair the other day. I have been using a temporary chair without arms so I could get close enough to my keyboard without lifting my arm. Well my old chair has big arms that don’t fit under the desk, so I lowered the chair and then my shoulder was up too high. I finally decided to order a good ergonomic chair.”

What struck me about this story is how we react to discomfort. It seems that, like my friend Matt, I also adjust things in my life to avoid pain.

I don’t make that phone call I should, because I know that I will be in tears by the time I hang up.

I don’t start conversations that will eventually give me a stomachache.

I don’t look up as I drive past the temple where a dear boy at the orphanage was cremated, because that memory is just too raw for me to deal with.

I haven’t sent any of my stories in to a publisher yet because I am afraid that my fears will come true…I’m just not good enough.

I don’t look in the mirror sometimes, either! Just too painful at certain times in the day!

I wonder if this whole “avoidance” thing is right though…aren’t we meant to face our fears? Aren’t I supposed to look into the eye of the monster and take him by the throat and tell him that he doesn’t scare me?

The Bible says “Fear not.” It also says that we will all suffer. So what gives? Are we meant to suffer but not be afraid? Does God want us to grin and bear it? Or are we all just destined to quietly cower in the corner, flinching and twitching when something scary comes to call?

The Bible says something else, too….”for everyone born of God overcomes the world…this is the victory.” (1 John 5:4) So that means that we are already victorious over the things that scare us, that cause us pain. This is a promise that God gives, even before the scary thing freaks us out. We are already standing in a place of victory. We are already on the Victor’s Stand…the place where there are kisses and medals and trophies and champagne poured over our heads and down our necks.

So, before I ever face a particular battle or fear in my life, I already know that I am victorious; that I have won. That I have defeated the scary monster before I even open my mouth to yell at him to leave me alone.

Jesus had a scary monster, too. It was the cross. And He knew that He would be victorious, before He pointed one toe in that direction. Maybe that is why He didn’t try and avoid the pain that He knew He would face. He looked up at it. He looked right through it, too , I imagine, right to the other side. Right to the empty tomb. He saw it all before Him, right to the very end. He saw the Victor’s Stand and the kisses and the trophy and the “well done, You!”. He saw and felt His Father’s embrace. He heard the angels singing praises and shouting, “Worthy is the Lamb that was Slain!”

So, I must draw this conclusion then….that my fears and pains are taken care of already. That I do not need to avoid them. I need to let Jesus grab the scary monster by the throat and yell at him for me.

I need to surrender. And I need to remember that surrendering doesn’t mean that I lose. Surrender means I don’t have to fight anymore.

How extensive is your root system?

Healthy people have extensive root systems that keep them solidly grounded, well nourished and always fruitful. But it does not happen by mistake. Roots we grow are grown intentionally not accidentally.

The most important roots we grow are in our relationship with Jesus and keeping it fresh by regular time in His word and time with him in meditation and prayer. These roots provide the "living water" of our lives as it is infused with the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The deeper these roots, the stronger we will be.

For Mary Ann and I there is another set of roots that are like anchors to our lives - those of close, intimate, deep, friendships with a set of "friends for life." These are friendships with amazing friends where there is mutual support, shared spiritual journeys and a desire to be all that God made us to be. When life throws a curve, council is needed or disappointments come our way it is these friendships that become the voice, hands and personal love of Jesus to each other. We cultivate these friendship roots with great care.

Deep roots grow when we are in a good church fellowship. Anyone who has been surrounded by the love of a congregation in a time of need - prayer - meals - visits - concern - knows how those roots produce amazing stability in times of amazing needs. In fact, having been the recipient of that kind of love we often wonder how those who don't have a church family face those kinds of times.

I have several thousand roots that line my bookshelves - the wisdom, faith, and commitments of those who have gone before me - or are contemporaries whose books provide nourishment to my soul and challenge my thinking on a daily basis. These roots give me perspective as they have grappled with the issues of faith going back some two thousand years.

Some people seem to go from one crisis to another with a weak root system that cannot stand the test of storms in their lives. Others withstand the worst hurricanes because their root system is extensive and deep. How deep our roots and how extensive is up to us. My goal is for deep, extensive and strong.

Ministry and team calibration

Calibration is the process by which instruments are compared to known "norms" to ensure that there is as little deviation as possible between the norm and the instrument being tested. The better the calibration, the better the instrument will perform and with the highest degree of accuracy.

The concept of calibration is important in ministry as well. The question is understanding what the norm is and how I can calibrate my actions against a proper understanding of the stated mission and guiding principles of the organization.

For instance, as a mission organization, we have a Central Ministry Focus to develop, empower and release healthy indigenous leaders. This is what we must do every day, all the time, wherever we work. As the senior leader, I championed this ministry focus and it was quickly adopted by our senior leadership and now by nearly everyone in our organization.

But, how do staff calibrate their ministries so that they are actually carrying out this mandate? While the concept seems fairly clear, how do I know when I am actually doing what the concept means?

This is where calibration comes in and it is important. It is coming to the best understanding of the central ministry focus as possible so that there is a high level of alignment across the organization because there is a common understanding.

This happens most directly when there is regular dialogue between myself and my senior leaders and then between my senior leaders and those in their areas of responsibility. It is ongoing dialogue, discussion and Socratic dialogue that helps to clarify meaning, intent, acceptable practices, focus and bring the organization into a common understanding (calibration).

Memo's and speeches do not get to calibration. They may be part of the process but the best calibration comes between a leader and those they lead in personal interaction, time together and lots of dialogue on key issues. There is no substitute for that time and discussion. That is one reason it is so important in team meetings to pick a topic that is central to the ministry they perform for discussion and dialogue - it helps calibrate the team.

Now in order to calibrate well, a leader must be clear on what the "norm" is. He or she must have great clarity on where they need to go and how they will get there. It is against that clarity that the discussion is focused and calibration is sought. Wise leaders provide maximum clarity to those they lead and then seek to calibrate the thinking and actions of their team or organization to be as close to the stated norm as possible. It happens through time and dialogue. It clarifies and focuses the team on the important things.

Barriers to unleashing our people in meaningful ministry

We want our people involved in meaningful ministry and to embrace ministry for Christ as a lifestyle. Too often it does not happen. Why? I want to suggest that we inadvertently create barriers to seeing this happen. Our motives are right but nevertheless, we create barriers by our own actions.

Barrier One

We have professionalized ministry rather than equipping His people. We hire professionals in the church who usually have advanced theological education. But, rather than equipping people we tend to expect those staff members to carry their particular ministry out. This has two consequences. One, it sends a message that we need professionals to do "real" ministry and two that "formal" training is necessary to be successful in ministry.

Barrier two

We convey the message that "ministry" is all about what happens in church "programming." Our programming is important but it is only a small piece of what God intends for his people to be involved in. His intention is to penetrate and influence a sinful and broken world and to bring small bits of His perfect will to dark and needy places. Ministry is about God's people being God's people wherever they are and with whoever they have influence.

Barrier three

We have so stressed "being at church" that we have not left people the time they need to develop relationships where they live, work and play and with the very people who need the love of Christ.

Barrier four

We have complicated spiritual gifts. God created us to do "good works" (Ephesians 2:10). If we encourage people to do "good works" with the people they have influence with and in the places God put them they will do those good works in ways that are consistent with their wiring. They will do things that they are comfortable doing - which will be in sync with how God wired and gifted them.

Barrier five

We have sought to get people involved in ministry by creating programs rather than encouraging them to figure out how they can make a difference for God where they live and work. Programmatic ministry trains people to let the church create ministry opportunities for them rather than looking for those opportunities themselves. Organic ministry wins out over programmatic ministry each time

God has an amazing and unique call on every single life. The best thing we can do on His behalf is to unleash God's people on a sinful and needy world rather than to corral them for our programs inside the church. The latter makes us look good. The former makes God look good. Which is better?

On being a father to those who need one

Father's Day!

For those of us who are fathers it is a wonderful day with many great memories. I am the proud father of two wonderful boys, Jon and Chip. But I am also a father to a couple in Myanmar, in the Philippines, in Minnesota and a few other places. Not a biological father but a spiritual father to some folks who didn't have a believing father, or one that affirmed them, or was an example to them.

Older men, especially have a wonderful opportunity to be the father that individuals never had. One who loves them, mentors them, is there for them, prays for them, comes alongside to meet needs that can be met. All of us have a heavenly father but there is a deep yearning in the heart for a human father and many in our world today do not celebrate a human father. Human fathers can be a blessing or a curse.

For those whose father was a curse, or simply non involved and disengaged, we can become a father to the fatherless. Young men, especially long for a role model, a godly example, someone they can look to as a father figure. We can be that for them. Interestingly, I never asked for the job with these wonderful friends, but they let me know, I was the father they were looking for. They gave me the name and I willingly accepted the honor.

For many today, father's day is a day of blessing. For many it is a day of pain, hurt and terrible memories. That is the reality of a fallen world. Whether you know it or not, you may be looked up to as the dad someone else never had when you take the time to befriend, pray for and come alongside younger men or couples.

It is a wonderful honor. For I actually have more kids than just my two. I accept the job with thanksgiving.

Complacency or urgency?

One of the deadliest threats to any ministry, be it a church, mission, mission team or some other ministry is that of complacency.

Complacency is defined as self satisfaction accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies (Webster).

I am struck at how often when talking to ministry leaders and asking them about how the ministry is doing that the answer is overwhelmingly positive.

There is often little urgency among those I interact with that things need to be different, that not all is well or that they need to do things differently. I contrast that response with those who are business owners who give me a very realistic answer regarding the challenges they face and the difficult issues they are wrestling with.

When I talk to ministry leaders and the vast majority of their report is positive and I don't hear the critical analysis of what should be different, what real deficiencies or threats exist, I know that I am talking to someone who does not live with a sense of urgency, tends to gloss over deficiencies and likes to put a positive spin on situations - rather than do the critical analysis needed to understand reality.

And, I can safely assume that their own teams or reports live with the same complacency they do. Perhaps it is the fact that ministries have so little accountability generally and that we just assume that Jesus will do what He wants to do that we don't ask and answer the critical questions and live with such complacency. Unlike those in the business world, many Christian leaders don't have to live with a profit or loss statement and thus live more easily with contentment with where things are.

The sad thing is that the state of the church and the effectiveness of much of what passes for missions is woefully inadaquate and ineffective. That is a result of complacency and lack of urgency.

That self-satisfaction comes from a lack of critical analysis of what could be, or ministry fruit left on the table because of our satisfaction with what is.

Companies that become complacent and self-satisfied die or go into bankruptcy - so General Motors and Chrysler and a host of others who have disappeared in the last decade. Ministries simply move into decline, seemingly oblivious that anything is wrong or that things could be different.

Good leaders are never complacent or satisfied and they do not allow their teams to live in complacency either. They are always asking critical questions about priorities, strategy, opportunities and dangers. They celebrate wins but they never camp on the wins or the success of the past but are always looking at the untapped opportunities of the future.

This is about a way of thinking and living and leading.

Urgency is not about doing more or doing it faster or creating more activity. Leaders who live with a sense of urgency often engage in less activity than others but do far more critical analysis and ask harder questions and focus their attention on those things that will push the missional agenda the farthest. They are also not looking for swift wins (nice when they come) but long term ministry fruit.

The apostle Paul lived with a sense of urgency that was evident in his life and his teaching. He constantly exhorted in his epistles to the churches to never be content with their spiritual life or their ministry but to work while it is still day for the night comes.

Good leaders do less, focus on the most important and constantly communicate with their priorities and communication their sense of urgency to see the ministry they lead (or the team they lead) maximize their potential.

And they communicate their sense of urgency to their staff who easily fall into a mode of comfort (we all gravitate there) and live with a deep sense that we must always be looking for better ways to fulfill our mission.

Their calendars reflect that commitment! Their priorities reflect that commitment. Their communication reflects that commitment and their meetings reflect that commitment. The focus of their lives reflects that commitment.

Where are you living on the complacency/urgency continuum?

For a great read on this subject, take a look at John P. Kotter's book, A Sense of Urgency. Our senior team is reading it right now. I deeply desire that our ministry live with urgency not complacency.

Leadership Transitions in the church

Senior leadership transitions are the most challenging time in the life of a church and negotiating them well is critical for the success of the new leader and for establishing a healthy foundation for a new ministry “run.” Where such a transition is done well it can provide the church with significant forward momentum. When it is done poorly it can take years to regain the desired momentum.

Congregations, boards and staff rarely understand the full ramifications of a senior leadership change, particularly when the church has a healthy history and there is excitement about the future. The tendency is to assume that the future will be similar to the past – only better! In reality, in some way, large or small, a great deal changes with the change in senior leadership. The church starts a new journey with a new leader, a refocused vision and five years in it will be a different church.

In the same way, new senior leaders rarely understand the full scope of the challenge ahead of them even in the healthiest transition. They inherit a staff that they did not build, spoken and unspoken values that are part of the church’s DNA, a desire for new vision but at the same time stakeholders in the old vision, and often to their surprise, resistance to change simply because of the built in bias against change among people in general.

This is complicated by the fact that whenever a church must re-in vision for the next ministry “run,” there is a refocus of ministry with the inevitable need to evaluate current ministry paradigms and current staff. Hard decisions will need to be made on both counts that will require ministry and staff changes to some degree – often a greater degree than is anticipated at the time of transition.

The critical period for a leadership transition in a church is the first twelve to eighteen months where the foundation for the next ministry run is being established. The church will experience significant change! The question is whether the change process can be navigated in a way that enhances its opportunities for the future or alternatively, complicates and prolongs the time it will take to get to those future opportunities.

If the incoming leader has not managed a major transition before it is very helpful to use an experienced coach who can help them navigate the inevitable change process. That may be another pastor who has negotiated a similar transition in a healthy manner or an outside consultant. A coach can help the new leader, the board and senior staff understand the issues they will face from a neutral and non-stakeholder perspective.

Transitions can be a wonderful time of envisioning and retooling for the next run - as long it is handled with care so that momentum is gained rather than lost due to transitional issues that are handled poorly. The former launches the church into a new future, the latter can cause momentum and opportunity to be lost.

White Board Sessions

I am a fan of white boards. I have two of them in my conference room and there is nothing I love more than to get some good people in there with me and tackle a problem. I am always amazed at the nuggets we discover, some large, some small when we do a blue sky session with a white board.

It is amazingly easy to get caught up in how we have done things and not ask the question, how could we do them better? What are the barriers to growth? How could we organize for more strategic ministry? Could we reposition someone and help them become more effective?

The synergy of a group of the right people asking those questions is huge. Often I will leave our session on the board for a while so that I can mull on it and seek to further clarify issues we have worked on.

If you are not in the habit of doing so, or if it has been a while, take a key issue for your ministry, get some good minds in a room, even people who may not have direct responsibility for the issue you are thinking through, but people who are good thinkers and do a white board session. I have never done one that didn't yield something valuable.

It fosters creativity, a new look at old issues, and the synergy of ideas. It is often a huge return for just a few minutes.

Simplifying Spiritual Gifts

My son Chip's spiritual gift is that of the "pied piper." Really! Just watch him. Everywhere he goes kids, young people and animals follow him around and he engages them and befriends them and talks to them (the human ones) about God. So it stands to reason that on summer break he leads inner city kids in the wilderness of northern Minnesota and ministers to them physically and spiritually. He is after all, the pied piper.

Then there is my wife Mary Ann who has a radar for hurting people and extends practical help and grace better than anyone I know. She sees a need and she meets it. She obviously has a gift of help and mercy.

Another friend is one of the most strategic thinkers I know. He can make sense out of almost any problem, think of solutions, and like a chess player, anticipate unintended consequences to those solutions. His gift is strategy and generosity and you put those two together and it is a powerful combination as he strategically funds Christian ministries.

His wife has the most awesome gift of hospitality and can make anyone feel at home from any walk of life. That with a gift of prayer combines to influence huge numbers of people over the course of a year.

We often complicate the spiritual gifts when most often they are pretty obvious if you just watch people, see where they are most effective, watch how they are wired and then encourage them to use those gifts and skills for Jesus - in their neighborhood, circle of influence, workplace and church. Notice that the church is just one place we ought to be joining Jesus, not the primary place.

Jesus wired us a certain way in order to accomplish a certain task. He wired me for strategy, leadership and communication. Everything else is, well, a weakness. What he wants me to do is to use the wiring he gave me for his purposes where he gives me influence.

I love to watch people to see how God uniquely wired them - God's creativity in that regard is amazing. Even with pied pipers. And then I love to encourage those I watch to use that wiring for His purposes, wherever God has placed them. If we all did that, and encouraged one another we would see small pieces of God's character unleashed in a million corners of the world.

Did you know?

Did you know that according to the UN, over 27 million people are enslaved in various forms of sexual and labor exploitation, more than at the height of the (historic) trans-Atlantic slave trade? (Salvation Army's Anti-Trafficking Network).

Did you know that over 100,000 eastern European women are coerced into prostitution or labor or forced marriages?

Did you know that destination countries of trafficked persons includes Belgium, Germany, Greece, Israel, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, Thailand, Turkey and the United States (UNODC, 2006)?

Did you know that the countries girls are most trafficked from are Belarus, Moldova, Russia, Ukraine, Albania, Bulgaria, Lithuania, Romania, China, Thailand and Nigeria?

It is impossible to imagine the fear, pain, broken dreams, emotional and physical damage done by human trafficking as helpless individuals are forced against their will into a life of prostitution, misery, and enslavement. We celebrate the abolition of slavery yet there are more modern day slaves being trafficked today than at the height of the trans Atlantic slave trade.

There is a good chance that there are modern day slaves in a city near you, or in which you live!

To learn more, check out these resources:

Salvation Army Initiative Against Sexual Trafficking

http://salvationarmyusa.org/trafficking

International Justice Mission

http://www.ijm.org/

Faith Alliance against Slavery and Trafficking

http://www.faastinternational.org/

The Evangelical Covenant Church

http://www.covchurch.org/humantrafficking

C.H.A.S.T.E. Churches Alert to Sex Trafficking in Europe

http://www.chaste.org.uk/

United Nations "Global Initiative to Fight Human Trafficking"

http://www.ungift.org/

U.S. State Department "Trafficking in Persons Report (by year)

http://www.state.gov/g/tip/ris/tiprpt/2008/

(With thanks to ReachGlobal staff member Sarah Bennetch)

Assimilation and New Believers

Assimilation of new believers into the life of the church is a high priority for many church leaders. Think about that for a moment!

My observation in the American church is that we put far more energy into assimilating new believers into the subculture of our church than we do in seeking them to assimilate into the likeness of Christ - and the two goals are not synonymous.

We are gratified when our new believer comes to a Bible study or small group, learns that they should be involved in some sort of ministry in the church, serve on a committee or be present on family night. All well and good - maybe.

What would happen if instead we concentrated on helping them understand what it means to become like Jesus and follow him more closely and allow Him to transform their hearts? I know we assume that those things will happen once they become involved in the church. Often it does not because our focus is in the wrong place. Assimilation into our church subculture is nice but assimilation into the likeness of Christ is far more important.

Where is the emphasis in your church for new believers? Is your strategy for helping new believers grow spiritually as robust as your strategy to hook them into your congregation?

Ultimately the goal of the Christian life is not to become like the people around us but to become like Christ. And people who become like Christ are also committed to His family in a local church. Our focus on the right assimilation will make all the difference.

The Church: God's Chosen Instrument to reach the World

On any particular day I can be optimistic, energized, discouraged or pessimistic on the state of the church. It largely depends on churches that I am working with at the time.

The New Testament shares such sentiments with Paul writing to the Corinthians (they had a lot of problems) or the Ephesians (they seemed pretty healthy) or the letters of Jesus to the churches in Revelation three (a mixed bag).

Many today are giving up on the church and simply leaving or choosing to stay home. I sympathize and empathize. There are a lot of unhealthy churches. Healthy and vital churches are vastly outnumbered by unhealthy or problematic churches.

But: regardless of our analysis, the local church is God's chosen instrument to reach the world as the local manifestation of his universal church made up of those who are his children. That is why I will never give up on the church and why I will never stop trying to help the church and why I will devote my life to multiplying healthy churches among all people.

It is frankly amazing to me that the church is as resilient as it is. That is not a testimony to man but to the power of the Holy Spirit who is present in small, large, poor, wealthy, underground and above ground churches. It is His church and the forces of hell will never prevail against it.

The church is flawed because it is led and attended by flawed people. The church is powerful even with flawed people when empowered by the Holy Spirit who powerfully changes lives and empowers people for meaningful ministry and brings life change.

The church is His bride and He loves it and died for it. Given that I will never abandon it or cease to help it be all that it can be. As long as Jesus believes in His church, I will too.

Gospel and Politics

It is a familiar request. Can I put out materials in the gathering area so members are informed of the political issues the nation faces and how they should vote? Or can the church please take a stand on this issue - or that issue?

Come election time especially, the pressure can get intense. If a certain candidate were to win the White House certainly the nation will be in dire trouble and the church at risk. If the wrong supreme court nominee gets on the court, liberties - religious and otherwise will suffer. If certain legislation is passed or not passed dire consequences await.

There may be some truth to such assertions although rarely as much truth as they would want us to believe. But, regardless of our personal conviction, political leanings or activism, the church is not about politics or legislation or elections or nominees to the bench - it is about the gospel.

It is Jesus who is the hope of the world, not a political party, nominee or piece of legislation. It is Jesus who can change hearts and it is the gospel of Jesus that can transform society as hearts are transformed.

I care about many things politically. But I have long ago come to conclude that it far more important who is in my house than who is in the White House. Politics come and go but Jesus remains the one hope for humanity across two thousand years and will be so till he returns. Never confuse the power of politics (it is transient and far less powerful than we think) with the power of the gospel (it is permanent and changes hearts and communities).

Oh, and no political party has a corner on the truth. But Jesus is truth.

Board members and intellectual capacity

Serving on a board, church or otherwise, requires a special intellectual capacity or ability. This is not about education - many educated people have limited intellectual capacity and many who lack higher education have it.

It is the ability to think conceptually, to visualize what could be rather than simply what is, to be able to focus on the big picture and concepts rather than on the small picture and details and enough personal flexibility to be open to new ideas, and work constructively with other board members. It is also the ability to trust staff to do what they must do and to always be pushing forward the missional agenda of the church or organization. It includes the ability to problem solve in creative ways rather than simply to fall back on what they have seen before in another church and organization.

Not everyone can do that and too often we bring well meaning, even Godly individuals onto our boards who actually hinder ministry progress by their narrow views, inability to think conceptually and who believe that board work is guarding the status quo and controlling staff. Those who have worked on boards with people who do not have the intellectual skills enumerated above know how frustrating that can be.

So in choosing effective board members it is helpful to ask the kinds of questions below:

• Do they think big picture or small picture? (think big)


• Can they engage the future of the organization or simply deal with status quo? (think future)


• Do they exhibit personal flexibility or are they inflexible in their thinking? (think flexibly)


• When problem solving do they see all the pieces or just some of the pieces? (think all)


• Do they like to micromanage or empower? (think empowerment)


• Can they trust staff or do they need to know everything before staff can act? (think trust)


• Do they work synergistically with others or need things their way? (think synergistically)


• Do they think missionally or like to deal with inconsequential issues? (think missionally)


• Are they articulate and thoughtful or confusing and quick to make judgements? (think articulate and thoughtful)

Intellectual capacity matters in any church or organization that wants to go anywhere and which is governed by a board. Again, it is not about education level. It is about the ability to think well and understand the big picture of the organization - in order to help it get there.

Think about the board members you know who do that well and those who lack the skill. There is the difference!

An Essential Biblical Vocabulary

How many Christ followers could adequately explain the following words and theological concepts?

• Incarnation


• Grace


• Salvation


• Redemption


• Righteousness


• Faith


• Repentance


• Atonement


• Justification


• Condemnation


• Sin


• Love


• Obedience

Every generation is only one generation away from Biblical illiteracy, heresy and lifestyles that do not please God. I fear that the church is not doing enough to educate its people in the basic doctrines of the Christian faith - and minus the foundation of those doctrines, we may end up with a semblance of Christianity without the core of Christianity.

There is a therapeutic gospel at large in our world today. But it is often therapy wrapped in Biblical teaching without the very foundation of the gospel robbing people of the core foundational truths of what the Scriptures teach.

Is it possible to develop a Christian world view or a truly Christian lifestyle without a good understanding of theology, the study of God which is wrapped up in the grand doctrines of Scripture? Many seem to think the answer is yes - if one judges by the content of the teaching and preaching that one encounters in the church today. Paul obviously disagreed as the book of Romans and his other epistles demonstrate.

In fact, the relevance we pursue in our exposition of the Scriptures is rooted in and derived from the very doctrines that we often ignore in our attempt to make our message relevant!

Consider doing an informal survey of the words from Romans above and see what you discover! We might start with church leaders and see what we discover! If you get good results I applaud you. If you don't...

When Life Comes Undone

Many who read this blog prayed for me over the last fifteen months as I was hospitalized with life threatening illnesses. Recently I shared the story of God's faithfulness in my life at my home church in a message entitled, When Life Comes Undone.

I would like to share that story with those of you who are interested. God is good - all the time.

When Life Comes Undone - The testimony of God's grace in my recent illnesses
http://stream.efca.org/reachglobal/when-life-comes-undone-tj-addington.mp3

To those of you who prayed....thank you!

It only takes one!

I have recently written on the issues of alignment and healthy teams and boards. What are the implications of having a member of your team who is not in alignment? This can happen when a team member:

• Is not in agreement with the direction of the team or organization
• Does not pull their own weight in terms of productivity and results
• Have attitudes that are counterproductive to healthy team: cynicism, sarcasm, untrusting, etc.
• Does their own thing and are not committed to working as a productive team member
• Has Emotional Intelligence (EQ) issues that disrupt the health of the team
• Are not teachable or coachable

Here is the reality: it takes only one member of the team to pull down the rest of the team, and to take a huge emotional toll on the other team members and the team leader. And, to hurt the overall missional effectiveness of the organization.

Because ministries are about "grace" we often do not handle these situations, hoping they will resolve themselves or go away. They rarely do without intentional and direct intervention. Where we do not resolve we unfairly punish the rest of the team who must live with the unhealth of one member, and we hurt the missional effectiveness of the organization.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with this kind of situation:

1. Provide very direct feedback in person and followed up in writing indicating the problems and the necessary changes that are necessary if they are to continue to play a role on the team and in the ministry. Be direct, be honest and be defining.
2. Establish time parameters in which the issues must be resolved or they will be placed on a probationary status. If they need additional coaching during this time, provide it and always give honest direct feedback verbally and in writing.
3. If there is not adequate progress, place the individual on a probationary status (in writing - always document) with the understanding that if there is not appropriate resolution that they will not be able to continue on the team or with the organization.
4. Be willing to let them go and transition them out of the organization if they do not meet the requirements of the probationary period.

Your willingness as a leader to take appropriate steps in cases like this sends a powerful message to the rest of your team that you care about their health and the health of the organization. When one does not take these steps the opposite message is sent - and clearly read that we are an organization that does not take health seriously.

The emotional and energy toll that is paid for an unhealthy team member is higher than we realize until the issue has been resolved and we realize the price we paid. Ministry is tough enough. We make it easier when we deal with those individuals who pull the rest of the team down.

Ministry and Team Alignment

How aligned or in sync is the team you lead or the team you are a part of? Many ministry teams look like the picture above with everyone doing their own thing or going in their own direction. Or, various teams going in different directions. While it may be convenient that way - one can do their own thing - it is not a prescription for maximum ministry impact.

Many ministry leaders believe that they are aligned if people have collegial relationships. It is alignment around relationship. One ministry leader I worked with believed that if only people prayed together, their hearts would come into alignment and therefor all would be well. It was alignment around spirituality. Many church staffs believe that alignment is about communication - making sure everyone else knows what each ministry is doing. Now collegial relationships, spiritual fellowship and communication are are great for a team but they are not the true basis of alignment.

In fact, the first two alignment strategies above, an emphasis on close relationship and fellowship, actually complicate true alignment because it takes the emphasis off of missional success and puts it on everyone feeling good about each other. Frank, honest, robust dialogue around missional issues rarely happens where the highest priority is that we are "best friends."

Real alignment means that the directional, value, and missional arrows are all pointed in one direction. That is, we operate by the same values or guiding principles, we are passionate about the same mission, we understand the central ministry focus of our organization and we are committed to the same outcomes. Very few ministry organizations can claim that kind of alignment but it is the key to maximizing our ministry's potential.

In order to get that kind of alignment it is first necessary to clarify the core principles by which one is going to operate, the mission one has and the outcomes one desires. Without clarity on those issues alignment is not really possible.

It is precisely because most ministries have not defined these that they end up trying to align around relationship, fellowship or communication. But these will not get the arrows all pointed in the right direction. It may give an illusion of alignment but it is not true alignment.

Once one has clarified what we call the "sides of our ministry sandbox" one can then ask every individual and each team to align themselves around those core commitments or in our terminology, play inside the same sandbox. The larger a ministry is the more critical it is that everyone is working off the same play sheet. The phrase in the book of Judges that "everyone did what was right in their own eyes," was not a commendation but a criticism.

If you were to ask the team you lead or the team you are a part of, "What really aligns us and keeps us in sync what would they say? You might want to ask the question. At best, lack of alignment causes leaks in ministry impact. At worst, it causes misunderstanding, lack of clarity and lack of objective ways to measure success.

If you need help in getting to alignment, the book, Leading from the Sandbox can help. It is all about how to build and maintain an aligned team or organization.

What does God have for me today?

Dumb things Church Boards do!

Fail to clarify what is critical for the congregation

Good leaders clarify and communicate mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and what spiritual vitality looks like. Without clarity, there is not direction and without direction there is no focus. It is accidental rather than intentional ministry.

Focus on the small stuff

The small details of church life do not move the ministry forward. It is certainly not the task of church boards to deal with the small rocks. It is easy to be deceived that the small day to day details are important. They are for someone - but not for the board which is responsible for clarifying and driving the large important issues of mission.

Don't resolve conflict

Unresolved conflict either on the board or within the congregation kills missional effectiveness and hijacks needed energy for ministry. Wise boards never allow unresolved conflict to fester - they deal with it.

Don't police themselves

Many boards allow behavior that is sinful, counterproductive or simply poor leadership. Wise boards ensure that their behavior is a model for the congregation and that their time is wisely spent on the important issues - including coming to decisions in a timely fashion. Wise boards have leadership covenants that each member signs that spells out how they work together.

Are intimidated by the few loud voices

Too many boards acquiesce to loud voices in the congregation and surrender to those voices even when they know that God is calling them to action. Wise leaders are not intimidated by loud voices who usually represent far less influence than they think they have.

Allow someone in the church to have informal veto power over church decisions

No one person has the authority to decide what the congregation does or does not do. In fact, no leader by themselves have that authority but only the board together and the congregation as it follows. Wise leaders do not allow any individual to control the direction of the church. And when necessary, they face them down.

Don't guard the gate

Who gets into leadership matters. Not guarding the leadership gate is one of the most foolish things boards and congregations do. Poor leaders will give you poor leadership and one bad apple can ruin the whole bunch. Whoever chooses leaders actually has the most power for good or ill in the church. Ensure you have a way to ensure the right leaders are chosen. In this matter, churches get what they deserve.

Allow elephants in the room

Elephants are those issues that everyone knows are there but no one is willing to name or deal with. Unfortunately those elephants are usually the very issues that MUST be resolved if the congregation is to move forward. Ignoring the elephants is not only dumb but deeply harmful.

Don't use an agenda and stay on task

Agendas may seem pedestrian but they are not. Agendas force boards to prioritize their work and stay on task - dealing with the big rocks rather than the pebbles and sand. Board meetings without agendas are a sign of accidental and non-prioritized leadership.

Don't empower staff

Boards that do not empower their staff to design and manage day to day ministry are doing management by committee. It has never worked and never will work but church boards try to do it all the time. Staff designs, board refines! Boards determine policy and direction, staff manage day to day ministry and ensure that the policy and direction are carried out. Boards do governance and staff ensures day to day ministry happens.

The Game of Chess and Decision Making

The game of chess can provide us with some lessons for decision making. Chess is all about understanding and predicting how your move will be met by your opponent. Great chess players run through an analysis of the potential ramifications of their move and what the consequences might be.

Good decision making does the same thing. Every decision has ramifications for others and, if we are not careful, unintended consequences. Wisdom is to try to understand and predict how our decision will be met by others and the potential ramifications of that decision. Decisions impact people so wise leaders try to understand that impact before they announce their decision.

Some of the questions to consider when one is making a decision are:

• Who will be impacted?
• What are the potential downsides?
• Why might it be resisted and by whom?
• What is your strategy for dealing with that resistance?
• What kind of preparation or explanation will alleviate resistance and even garner support?
• If someone made this decision for you what would you want to know?
• Have you run the decision by trusted colleagues who can give you a read on potential "unintended consequences?"
• Do you need to prepare people by letting them know what you are thinking and allow for input?

The goal is to be aware of both consequences and response so that you can be strategic in rolling out a decision that has impact on others and minimize the downsides. The larger the decision the more critical it is to take the time to think through how it will be received.

Where it is possible a best practice is to tell staff or your board what you are thinking of doing and why so that they can give you any feedback before you pull the trigger. Giving them the opportunity to dialogue with you beforehand helps them process what is coming and may give you valuable information that might either cause you to tweak the decision or know how to sell the decision.

Another best practice is to talk with a colleague outside your organization who has not skin in the game and let them ask you the questions you may not have thought of.

The key is not to be surprised - in chess and in decision making.

Reframing the Question

It is our natural default when something bad happens to us: Why? Why me? A few months ago while lying in an ICU in Bangkok on a ventilator with massive pneumonia and Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) - my second severe bout with both I asked that question. But then I was forced to ask a second question: Why not me?

The television for the two weeks of my stay was glued on CNN and their coverage of the war in Gaza. I watched the men, women and children being ferried into inadequate hospitals with inadequate medical help and was reminded how fragile our world is and life in this broken world. So why should I be exempt from that brokenness?

Job asked the "why" question and God was gracious to him but He did not answer the question. What he did say was, I am God, I am great, I have my reasons and I am with you.

In the past month I have lost three friends and the son of another friend is paralyzed from the chest down due to a skiing accident - at 17. Why? In the past year and a half I have booked 65 days in the hospital. Why?

Job discovered that God is so great that His ways are inscrutable. What does not make sense to us makes perfect sense to Him. And we are not exempt from brokenness of our broken world. So, what is the question to ask? I believe it is "what" and "how" not "why."

The first question is "how." How will I choose to respond when life is not fair and the cards dealt me are not the ones I would choose? That is not easy when the cards are tough or unfair cards. I faced that in the ICU because the odds were that I might well not survive.

In my pain and limited ability to focus I chose to hang on to the words of Jesus to the disciples: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid" (Matthew 14:27). Those words were my lifeline during some very long, hard painful days.

Pain and suffering are interesting friends or foes. As a friend they can drive us closer to God if we will allow them to. As a foe they can drive us from God to a life of bitterness and diminished dreams if we let them. We choose whether we see them as a friend or a foe and our choice determines the path we take after that. Those who choose the path of bitterness do so because they keep asking the "why" question. Those who choose the path of following God more closely do so because they focus on two other questions.

There is a second question worth asking: "What does God want me to learn through this?" That does not mean we deserve it, or that God is punishing us or that He wanted us to suffer. We live in a broken world and we "share in the fellowship of His sufferings" while here. But, it is also true that it is in the hardest times that we learn the greatest lessons about God, life and us. As C.S. Lewis said, "pain is God's megaphone."

I have filled a journal of lessons I learned through my 65 days in the hospital over three stints. They include his love, his grace, his sovereignty, his ability to do the miraculous in our day and many other lessons. I realize in a new way the gift that each day is and I empathize with those who suffer in a whole different way. In the end my pain was a gift that taught me lessons I would not have learned any other way.

I also know that the "why" questions will become plane on the other side of eternity. This side the question is how will I respond and what does God want to teach me. If we get that right, the "why" will all make sense in a little while!

Climbing out of a Hole

It has happened to each of us. We have dug a hole for ourselves by treating someone with lack of dignity, marginalizing them, holding bitterness or maligning them to others and our attitude and actions have hurt them and hurt ministry and possibly hurt the team with which we work. Bottom line we are in a deep hole that we need to extricate ourselves from.

Often, our first thought is "how do I get out without too much embarrassment:" Our concern is for ourselves rather than for the harm we have caused or the sin we have committed. It goes to the fallen nature of our hearts.

What we should be asking before we do anything is "How did I get here? Why did I do what I did? Was it my pride, my arrogance, my desire to get my own way? Did I not listen to others? Did I have an agenda that I was driving that got in the way of relationships, team process or the feelings of others? What sinful attitudes on my part contributed to what I did? Am I harboring bitterness, ill will or wrongly attributed motives toward others?"

Before we try to make the wrong right, we need to understand our own hearts and take a hard, surgical, painful look at how we got to where we got. Most people, even when they need to make things right, sidestep this hard look - it is too painful. But without acknowledging the true and full nature of our fallenness, our sin and how we got into the hole we are in, our efforts to get out of the hole will be less than perfect. Glossing over the issues will actually hinder our efforts to make things right.

Once we have taken the hard look, we need to come completely, fully, transparently clean with those we have hurt - whether it is one person, a team, or a group. It is not enough to apologize to those we have hurt if we have also maligned them with others. That is an insincere apology. It is an apology that makes us feel better but that does not acknowledge the full extent of our wrong and to others and until we are willing to make the full wrong right, we remain guilty for the sin we have committed against others that has not been dealt with.

Real repentance is all about humility. Humility takes place when we recognize and name the full extent of our sin and resolve that sin to the full extent of our ability. When we choose not to fully come clean our pride is still ruling our hearts because our true strategy is to apologize to the extent we need to but to continue to preserve our dignity. It is a disingenuous repentance that remains committed to protecting ourselves rather than fully acknowledging what we have done to others. It is a self-focused apology.

Finally, to the extent of our ability we need to make our wrong right with those we have gossiped with, maligned others with, or divided by our sinful attitudes or actions. This is the hardest step but until this step is taken we have not made right our offense. To not do so is to make ourselves feel good (we asked for forgiveness) but to leave the results of our sin (what we have said to others about another) simmering with its painful ramifications. For now there are barriers between those we spoke to about another that remain until we make right what we made wrong.

Wise men and women make right what they have made wrong. Foolish men and women do not. One is a way of humility. The other is a way of pride. One is a way of righteousness. The other is a way of the fallen sinful nature.

Climbing out of a hole we have created is hard, but it is possible, if we will humble ourselves and do what we need to do - all of what we need to do to make it right. The hole is dark. The sunshine of freedom at the top is wonderful. There is pain in making the climb out but the freedom at the top is wonderful. And we won't want to have to make that kind of climb again

Leadership Capital: Deposits and Withdrawals

At any one time leaders have a finite amount of leadership capital in their wallet. Deposits are a whole lot better than withdrawals because when the wallet is empty it does not matter what position one has, no one is following anymore.

Deposits are made intentionally and withdrawals are usually made inadvertently.

On a personal level, leaders receive deposits when they are open and approachable, care about their staff, are consistent in their behavior, keep their promises, take ownership for their mistakes, are seen as accountable and want the very best for those who work under them.

Withdrawals come when leaders are unapproachable or defensive, do not encourage open dialogue, are not perceived to care about staff, don't keep their promises, blame others for failure, are inconsistent with their behavior or are seen as unaccountable.

Leaders who experience many withdrawals often do not even know it because they are not open enough to receive the feedback that would tip them off to those withdrawals. It often takes great courage for someone to speak the truth to them about behaviors that are causing them to lose leadership capital.
On an organizational level, leaders gain capital when they clarify ministry direction, empower staff to play to their strengths and use their gifting, resolve organizational or staff issues rather than ignore them, give others credit for success and take responsibility for failure, encourage and hold people accountable for ministry results.

They lose capital when they control rather than empower, don't deal with issues, are fuzzy about ministry direction and don't pay attention to results.
Because we often are blind to areas where we may tend to lose capital it is essential to have people who will give one feedback and who have permission to tell us when withdrawals are being made. I have people that I trust who are always free to tip me off when inadvertent withdrawals are taking place that I would not have recognized myself.

It is an interesting exercise to ask trusted colleagues what actions cause withdrawals and what actions cause deposits. You might be surprised by what you learn.

As noted in the previous blog, paying attention to what is going on around us is important to understanding where one stands with deposits and withdrawals.

There are times when a leader makes a conscious decision to address an issue that he or she knows will involve a withdrawal because it is not popular. Popularity is not the goal, respect is. But, in order to make a withdrawal one has to have capital in the bank. Too many withdrawals and not enough deposits will eventually erode the ability of a leader to lead.

Key decisions that require withdrawals need to be considered carefully. If there is not enough capital - and one knows that the decision will therefore be problematic, wise leaders wait until the capital is present. Timing is as important as the decision itself. Poor timing without enough capital will make it more difficult to move forward later.

Leaders who are intentional in building their leadership capital have the greatest opportunity to maneuver because there is a bank account of good will and trust. What is in your bank account?