Lulled into complacency by our comfort

Dr. Woo in Surgery

Memorial service in Kabul for Dr. Woo

Guest writer: Michael Johnson

Julie Burchill writes for The Independent the British newspaper. For the August 11, 2010 edition, she commented on the critics of British soldiers’ role in Afghanistan as well as the sacrifice of Dr. Woo, one of the doctors murdered recently while volunteering to bring medical care to the citizens of that nation. She writes rather caustically, but clearly; People castrated by comfort and consumption of course feel worthless when they look at Dr. Woo or our soldiers. A man who has nothing which he cares about more than his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance at being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.



Dr. Woo’s sacrifice was particularly significant in that she was not on duty for her nation, but for His Kingdom. Are our decisions about our faith made from the comfort of our couches of conspicuous consumption? Are we really willing to make the difference we claim we should for Christ, or is it just religion as usual? Reporting in Telegraph.co.uk Dr Woo co-founded an charity called Bridge Afghanistan and raised thousands of pounds for emergency provisions for flood victims, education projects and medical supplies.


Her medical convoy was travelling through Badakhshan towards Kabul on Wednesday after spending three weeks in the mountainous terrain of Nuristan where the medical team were delivering medical care and supplies to the people living there. Local police said about 10 gunmen robbed the group and killed them one by one. The Taliban claimed responsibility for the killings. A spokesman said the foreigners died because they were ''spying for the Americans'' and ''preaching Christianity''.


To add to the tragedy of her death is the romantic side the Telegraph reports that Dr Karen Woo, 36, British medic killed in Afghanistan was due to return home within days to get married, it emerged.

Have I been castrated by comfort? What does my faith cost me? Dr. Woo was willing to pay all. She did.

Expectations for Leaders

What are the expectations of leaders in your church or organization? Have they been clarified and do you remind them of them often? The more clarity you provide your leadership community (whether volunteers or staff) the better they will be able to lead and contribute to the health of the organization. How leaders lead, the commitments they keep or don't keep impact the ethos and culture of the organization. Defining healthy expectations contributes to a healthy organizational culture. In addition, staff take their cues from the behaviors of leaders for better or worse.




These are the expectations that ReachGlobal (RG) has for its leaders.


Personal
 Stay current with Jesus


 Annual KRA’s with accountability


 Monthly Personal Retreat Day


 Annual Planning Retreat


 Schedule your priorities first




Leadership


 Model the leadership you want to see in others


 Respond to issues quickly


 Deliver on promises made to staff and others


 Communicate vision and mission to your team regularly and clearly


 Live, communicate and be a champion for all four sides of the RG sandbox


 Develop your area of responsibility for maximum impact


 Find and develop new areas of ministry opportunity


 Seek to influence national leaders intentionally toward healthy ministry


 Ensure and be accountable for the health of the teams under your leadership




Management


 Ensure that staff members (reports) have what they need to be successful


 Clarify expectations, empower and hold accountable


 Be accountable for budgets


 Provide regular, clear, honest feedback to your direct reports


 Monthly meeting with all direct reports by phone where necessary and in person where possible. Review KRA’s, encourage, coach and equip. Monthly short report from all direct reports with priorities for the following month and update on the past month.


 Individual coaching and equipping plan for all direct reports


 Annual development plan for the team you lead in line with priorities of EQUIP and their leadership responsibilities.




Followership


 Monthly meeting with your supervisor


 No surprises. Keep your supervisor appraised of bad news quickly or key developments quickly


 Your primary team is the senior team you are on. Your secondary team is the team that you lead.


 Be a champion for RG as a leader in RG


Leaders in RG can expect their supervisors to regularly ask them about these kinds of issues as they go to the heart of the kind of organization we want to be. Have you clarified your expectations of your leaders?

What is the Gospel worth?

What is the gospel worth?



Ten Christian workers answered that question by giving their lives this week in Afghanistan – shot one by one by the Taliban. They made the ultimate sacrifice as they ministered to the “least of these,” the poorest of the poor in rural villages accessible only on foot.


Tom Little along with his wife and daughters had lived in Afghanistan since 1979, even staying during the years of the Russian invasion and the rule of the Taliban. Tom and his wife, Libby, raised three daughters in Afghanistan. Tom was the program director at the National Organization for Ophthalmic Rehabilitation, NOOR, in Kabul and his wife teaches at an international school in Kabul.


Each of these servants of God knew the risks of serving in war torn Afghanistan. They went where others would not go because it was too dangerous. They ministered to people that many would not minister too because they were too poor. They went places most would not go to because it is too remote and the conditions too harsh. They understood that there is nothing more important in this world than sharing the good news of the Gospel – Emmanuel – God with us with those who have never heard that there is good news.


They followed the call of God – a call higher and more sacred than any other call. They understood God’s love for the “least of these” and that in ministering to those who don’t know Jesus, they became the hands and feet and voice of a God who loves every man, woman and child on this hurting globe. In staying even during torturous years of war and Taliban rule, Tom and Libby fully identified with those they served.


There are heroes in this world. They are not those who the world usually identifies as important. They are men and women who follow God’s call on their lives no matter what the cost.

Please pray for the families of these ten men and women who paid the ultimate price. Pray also that their sacrifice would move those they ministered too to look to Christ. From the blood of martyrs comes the growth of the church. May their example and lives raise up a new generation of missionaries who will follow Christ wherever He may lead. 

Organizational Humility

Humble individuals are a wonderful treat to find. They are non-defensive, open with others, have nothing to prove and nothing to lose, understand their strengths and their weaknesses, love to empower and release others and have an inner strength that comes from their understanding of themselves and who God made them to be. 

True humility is the foundation of cooperation with others - understanding that we need others to complement our strengths and weaknesses. And it is a cooperation of respect and openness that recognizes the God given gifts to others and that we are better together than separate.

There is a need in Christian ministries to apply those same principles to our ministries and to develop a sense of organizational humility. Like individuals, organizations can be characterized by pride or by humility. How many ministry leaders in churches or other ministries communicate the message that we are special, we are better, we are the best or we are on the cutting edge?

Really? We may be special in some way, better in some things, hopefully on the cutting edge of something but so are our so called competitors. Is it this pride that keeps ministries from working more closely toward common objectives, that keep us siloed and protective of turf? Are we unwilling to share our gifts and expertise as well as learn from the gifts and expertise of others?

In the mission world (and church world) this pride and lack of humility often keeps us from working in creative ways together. It promotes competition among God's workers (I wonder what Jesus would say about that) rather than a kingdom mentality (it is all about Him). We have learned in ReachGlobal how much other ministries have to offer us, how much we don't know, how much better we are in partnership than alone and how much broader the family of God is than we often think. But, we must constantly work on this because the natural tendency of ministries is to go it alone rather than take a posture of humility, knowing that we need others to be the best that we can be.

Like people, every organization has strengths and weaknesses. Like individuals we complement our strengths and make up for our weaknesses in working with others. While we should be proud of our organization for what it represents, our humility should make us open to what we can learn from others. And prevent us from lifting our organization up by diminishing other organizations (or churches) around us.

Organizational humility is an attitude of graciousness toward others, thinking cooperation rather than competition, knowing we can and should work with others and refusing to life ourselves up at the expense of others.

Keepers of the Brand

Every ministry has a brand! It is made up of its mission, core convictions and ministry philosophy. The better that brand is understood by its leaders, members and constituents the more powerful it is as a unifying factor. When the brand is not understood or is foggy, that power is diluted.

Leaders are by definition the "keepers of the brand" with the senior leader leading the way. He or she is constantly communicating, reinforcing and living out the commitments of the brand. They do this in a number of key ways.

Common vocabulary is key to your brand. The Central Ministry Focus, for instance in ReachGlobal, the organization I lead is that we are all about developing, empowering and releasing healthy national workers. The three words, "Develop, Empower and Release" are constantly used by all leaders and are common vocabulary that defines our brand as a mission. Another phrase that is known by most is "We don't own anything, control anything or count anything as ours." This is part of our philosophy as a mission that exists to empower others and not control. It is central to who we are and the common vocabulary communicates that principle.

In your own ministry, have you developed a common vocabulary that defines who you are? It is a powerful way to communicate your key convictions and to inculcate that understanding among your constituency.

Leaders are those who clearly articulate the brand by developing this common vocabulary. They spend considerable time thinking about how they can best communicate a clear, consistent message that sticks with those who hear it and is instantly understandable. And then they repeat it often - in writing, in person and in presentations. Those who know me have heard me say often, Do not underestimate my resolve. I am committed to those principles that drive ReachGlobal and that phrase articulates that conviction that we will deliver on the promise of the brand. It is a reminder to those who hear it that we take our convictions seriously and we will move in the direction of those convictions. Leaders articulate the brand by clear, concise statements that reinforce the convictions of the organization constantly.

This becomes most powerful when the commitments of the brand are directly tied to decision making. Part of our brand story as a mission is that we are committed to healthy people serving on healthy teams under healthy leadership to plant healthy churches. This is the culture we must have if we are going to be successful. But it has implications. If a team is not healthy we will do everything we can to bring it to health because unhealthy teams cannot produce healthy churches or disciples. It would be easy to ignore an unhealthy team. To do so, however, would be to violate the commitments of our brand and to communicate that we are not really committed to what we have articulated.

Often in decision making we will go back to the commitments of our brand and ask the question, is what we are doing consistent with our convictions. When members of the organization see alignment between the brand message and decision making, they know that we are serious about those convictions.

What is the test of whether we have articulated our brand well? It is when everyone in the organization can articulate it. When the common vocabulary is known by everyone and everyone can articulate the core convictions of the organization, you know that you have been successful as a keeper of the brand. This is true in the local church, in mission organizations, other non-profits and frankly in the business world.

This morning as I was wondering if I should actually get out of bed at an early hour to finish up some projects, the words Just do it, came to mind and I popped out of bed. Thank you Nike - your brand is well known. How about you? Is your brand well known? If you are the leader or in leadership, how are you doing as a keeper of the brand? Or do you need to clarify the brand first? A brand is only possible when there is missional clarity but with missional clarity the brand is a powerful reinforcer.

The Crack in the Rock

Guest contributor, Ellen Conserva. Ellen ministers to at risk women and children at a ministry center in Thailand.

There is a new baby at Agape. He is 9 months old and really sick. He is barely able to hold his head up. And oh so thin. It's amazing, really, how huge the human skull is on a baby, when there is no fat on the face or hair on the head. It was obvious that he was not thriving and whoever was taking care of him before his arrival, was not coping with parenting, or even realizing that this baby has HIV.



Recently, I made it a point to go in and hold him, as I wasn't sure how long he would be for this life. He was sleeping on his side, propped up all around. So I started whispering to him and stroking his arm, his skin leathery and moving like it isn't attached to anything, as if it is just draped over the bone. His eyes flickered and I picked him up. He was so awkward to hold, spindle-like limbs jutting out all over. He opened his eyes and looked at me with no expression and then started to cry. I kept talking quietly, telling him he was going to be okay now, he would get better, and how I was sorry he was so ill. He cried harder and I pulled him into my chest, trying to make the most bodily contact with him that I could. I whispered, "I love you, little darling." He cried louder. I rocked and swayed and he writhed and wailed. He seemed to have this expressionless sort of look on his face, even as he cried. So, I put him down again, on his side, propped him up the way he was, and he stopped crying. He let out a little sigh and fell back into a contented sleep. He was much happier in his sterile crib than in my warm and loving arms.


This didn't surprise me much, just confirmed to me what he is lacking in his life. Human touch. Gentle words. Real love. It was as if he was crying out to me, saying, "Are you kidding me? Don't hold me. Don't talk to me so sweetly. Don't love me. I have learned from birth how to make myself content and to live without this gentle touching and lovely whispering. Don't throw off my groove. Don't start making me believe in something or someone who will love me like that because it's just setting me up for disappointment. You are really irritating me here. Put me down and return me to the world I know, the place where I have adapted. It isn't the best, but it is the safest. Leave me alone." I will not, of course, leave him alone. I will go back again and again and try and pull him out of that place where he thinks it is so much better.

We can be like that with God, can't we? We become so enmeshed in our own world. In our own place of darkness or sin or bad habits or wrong thinking. We believe things about ourselves that are not true. We push away things in our lives that would be good for us, but we prefer the bad familiar. We see what could be a blessing in our lives, but it seems like too much hard work to reach out and take it. We hear the voice of God, telling us where we are going wrong, but we have this amazing ability to rationalize our sin, make it seem like it isn’t that bad.


And God whispers...and we swat at our ears and tell Him to leave us alone. He pulls us closer into Himself, but we resist and kick out with our pathetic self-will. We cry out that WE know best, that it's easier to cope with the little bit of what we have than to readjust and surrender to His love. He pulls and He pulls. And we push and we push.

This reminds me of when Moses asked to see God's glory. And God said that He would cause all of His goodness to pass in front of Moses and that He would say His name out loud. But before God passed by, Moses had to be shoved down into a crack in a rock. And God had to cover Moses' head with His Hand. And God said, "After I have passed by, I will take My hand away and you can look at My back. But not My face. No one looks at My face and lives." So God passed by and as He did, He spoke words to Moses. He talked about who He is and how He feels about Moses. And He mentions His love several times, how it is abounding and how He maintains it. Moses had to hide because God is so overpowering. So bright. So fierce. So shocking. God doesn’t dumb Himself down or use a dimmer switch with His love and glory. It just come at us with all barrels blazing. His love is long and tight and His words of endearment keep flowing from His lips and He never runs out of words to express how much He loves us. And He never lacks ways to show us, either. And He longs for us to know this and to see Him, even if it is only His back.


Just like the sick baby. I know what he needs. I know what is best for him. I know I can help him. But he thinks he knows best. He thinks he has what he needs to survive. But the truth is, he will die unless he allows us to help him bond with human love. When he comes to realize what true love is, his face will change from being dead and cold to having a radiance about it, like most children have. I long for that day. I want to be a part of that love process.

And just like me. I think I know what is best for me. I know what I need. But I don't know what I need like God knows what I need. God told Moses the things he needed to hear. He showed Moses just a flash of His glory. And it was enough. When Moses went back down the mountain, his face was radiant. He had been in the presence of God and he knew how much God loved him.

As I continue to grow and learn in the crack of my rock, I want to feel comfort from the pressure of God's Hand on my head as He passes by and whispers truth about me and about Who He is, and about how much He loves me. Kicking against God only makes Him hold me tighter. But it doesn’t stop Him from wanting to show me His glory. He wants to be seen. And I am the vehicle He chooses to use. When see God, I radiate God. And His Glory is made known. Even when I am in the crack of a rock.

When my church board is not healthy

My recent blog, Split Boards, Split Congregations generated a fair amount of comment - especially on face book. The comment below illustrates the dilemma that we find ourselves in when one's church board is not healthy.


So as a member of a congregation like this-where personal agendas are taking over and boards are not being held in check--how do you know when to leave? Knowing this is the state of your leadership, how do you keep worshiping in this setting? Is is possible?



Obviously a board like this won't care if your one little family leaves, so no "point" will be made if you go.


When you know of this discord and the heart of leadership, should you stay connected to this body? There are probably more problems like this than we are even aware of. It would sometimes seem ignorance is bliss, but what happens when you DO know? the telling line: the board thinks what they do is done in secret. You are right, it never is! Church members can see and feel it!


There are no easy answers to this dilemma. Obviously the first answer is to pray that the board will get its act together. In addition, I would consider talking to someone on the board that one trusts and who can do something about addressing the issues at the board level. There are books like "High Impact Church Boards" that address these very issues and describe how to take an unhealthy board to greater health.

Often it is necessary to bring in outside counsel who can candidly address the issues that are contributing to poor health and call unaccountable board members to accountability. I have done this on numerous occasions as a consultant to church leadership.


I do not believer we ought to leave churches easily. However, when the leadership is unhealthy and over time one discerns that this is not likely to change, you will see a quiet exodus. The sad thing for the church is that those who leave first are often the healthiest members because they are missionally driven and unwilling to tread water in a place where leaders are spending their time fighting over agendas or guarding the status quo rather than leading the church into healthy ministry. The end result is that when the board wakes up, those they need best are often gone.


These are not people who easily bail. They are generally those who care about leveraging their lives for maximum ministry impact and are unwilling to waste precious years where that passion is not held by the leaders of their church. Generally they will not fight (they are not in a place to make a difference with leadership) but will quietly leave.


What unhealthy boards don't get is that there is a cost to their unhealthy behaviors:
First, congregations will rarely rise above the spiritual level of their leaders.
Second, congregations are often aware of tension, agendas or unhealth on their board.
Third, congregations will often mirror the conduct of their leaders.
Fourth, unhealthy leadership cannot lead congregations in healthy ministry.
Fifth, over time, your most missionally minded people will gravitate to places of greater health.


I cannot answer the dilemma raised by the above response to my prior blog. What I can say is that leaders have no idea how destructive unhealthy board behaviors are to the church and they will be held accountable by God for their leadership - healthy or unhealthy. Many church boards need a wake up call to how their lack of discipline, health, ability to police themselves and lack of missionality is hurting the bride of Christ.

Discouragement and our Hearts

Ironically, we must guard our hearts during times of failure and discouragement as well as success. While success may cause us to take our eyes off of our Lord and focus on ourselves, failure and discouragement have the potential to do the same thing: only this time in disillusionment and discouragement rather than pride and entitlement.



I know how dangerous failure and discouragement can be. I came very close to walking away from full time ministry altogether after deep pain in my late twenties. I know both vocational and avocational ministry driven individuals who have done that in the face of great difficult times. I am sobered by the implications in my own life and ministry impact had I chosen to walk away from the call of God on my life because of my great pain.


I have come to believe that times of failure (real or perceived) and times of discouragement are critical for the health of our hearts as they force us to choose where we will put our trust even in the face of impossible circumstances. We are forced into the decision to put our faith in our heavenly father just like those listed in Hebrews 11 even when we cannot see a way out. Looking back on some of the most painful periods of life I have come to the conclusion that I would not trade them for anything but I never want to experience it again!


Failure and discouragement force a life changing choice. Will I continue to trust and follow closely after Christ or will I settle for a diminished and wounded life? The first leads to greater faith and the second to a lessened faith. Failure and discouragement are never final unless we allow them to be. We make the choice as to whether we will move on and follow Him in the midst of our pain or allow our pain to pull us away from Him. It is always our choice and our move.


My own heart has been molded in pain and disappointment more than in any other way. That pain was God’s graciousness to me in order to make me what I have become. I am humbler, gentler, kinder, more comfortable in my own skin and less driven because of the gift of pain. Some of the best gifts come in the most unsuspecting wrappings.


One of the common responses to discouragement and failure is cynicism. All of us have reason to be cynical about people: especially those who claim to be Christ followers and do things unworthy of that walk. Yet, cynicism too, is a destructive attitude and hurts our heart. It causes us to doubt the good intentions of others, robs us of our ability to trust and skews our attitude toward others. Think about this: What if God chose to be cynical toward us? Our actions and attitudes often deserve it, yet he chooses to love and believe the best for us. Cynicism robs us of the ability to love and believe the best.


In my fifties, I am deeply realistic about the realities of people’s lives and situations I face. What keeps me from cynicism is my awareness of my own struggles, failures, imperfections and deep desire for righteousness. I am thankful that God is not cynical with me and I want to resist the temptation to be cynical toward others. Paul meant it when he wrote his letters to the “saints,” even when he needed to chastise and take people to task. We are saints, even in our imperfections and struggles and we want to treat all of God’s people in that light – even those who irritate us significantly.

Success and our Hearts

The complexities of our hearts are nowhere more evident than in the drive of leaders to succeed – and the motivations that underlie that drive. Those motivations have a direct impact on how we lead and how we treat the people we lead. It impacts the level of drivenness that defines us and how we respond to success if God grants it.



I am seen by many as a rather driven, type A personality and I cannot dispute that I have a very high desire to succeed in what God give me the opportunity to do and frankly, I did not fall far from the tree. My father graduated as a Civil Engineer, then went to Seminary, Medical School, completed a surgical residency and finally a Dr. of Ministry over his lifetime as a church planter, missionary doctor and then a surgeon in private practice. Along the way he wrote a book called Discovering the Bible that thousands have used as they read through the Bible over the course of the year.


While never feeling overt pressure to succeed, I cannot imagine not putting my full weight into any assignment I am given and become bored quickly when there is not a challenge in front of me. What drives me is the desire to have maximum influence for the cause of Christ globally in the years that He gives me. That fuels my leadership of ReachGlobal, my consulting with churches and Christian ministries, speaking, teaching and writing. I guess I qualify as driven whether I like the notion or not! Fortunately all of these things are in my sweet spot so I derive great satisfaction from them and my work is my play. I am blessed.


Success however has its hidden traps. I must ask myself constantly, what is it that drives me? Is it the accolades of others, telling me I have done well? If so we all know that others often tell us what we want to hear rather than the truth! Am I driven by my definition of success or God’s? I have heard many pastors say that success for them is a larger church. Really? Might God’s definition be a missional, empowered and healthy church? Is larger always the definition of success? After all, a larger congregation might simply mean that we have attracted the latest folks hopping from one church to another!


Success often brings a sense of pride that makes us believe that we don’t need to listen to the counsel of others. After all, we have proven ourselves. We know what is right and the more success we experience the less we listen to those who we need to hear around us. The truth is that the more successful we are the more cautious we must be about our own wisdom, and the more committed we must be to ensuring that we have a cadre of friends around us who tell us the truth and help us see our blind spots. The biblical admonition that pride goes before fall is not a myth but a harsh reality.


It is often in success that we are vulnerable to either hurting those that get in our way or exploiting others for our purposes. After all, why should I allow others to get in the way of God’s work? And surely, the ministry I am involved in transcends the needs and concerns of others! Many of us have met people who think this way. Their ambition and drive has run over those who got in the way of their trajectory.


Chapter eight of the book of Deuteronomy is devoted to the subject of success and the reality that often in success we start to believe our own press – that it is us who are responsible for success rather than our God who granted it. We start to believe that we are deserving of privileges that others are not. We start to believe that it is our wisdom and our ability that got us to where we are rather than the blessing of God and the gifts which He sovereignty gave us.


I am convinced that one of the key indicators of where our heart is – is how we deal with success and whether it brings with it greater pride or greater humility. I both desire and fear success! I desire to have the greatest influence possible for His purposes and the advancing of His kingdom. I fear that this very success will cause my heart to believe that I am responsible for the success He Himself granted and that in my success I may in fact fail the test of my heart’s followership of Him.


How do we guard our hearts in seasons of success? I believe that the answer is counter intuitive to what successful people often do. Success often makes for subtle shifts in our thinking and lives: We run faster, move away from truly authentic relationships, believe that we are better than we really are and expect others to serve us. The way to guarding our heart in success is exactly the opposite of these common responses.


Slow down


Success often causes us to run faster and faster. Opportunities come to speak, attend conferences, meet important people and schedules fill till we are running on fumes: And it is the fumes that are dangerous because when we are tired, full up, and living without margin we are at our most vulnerable. All too many Christian leaders have crashed and burned in the process. Their hearts were empty, their reserves used up and their guard was down!


Here is the irony. What robs us of success is running too fast and paying too little attention to what really counts. Those who are successful over the long run and who retain their deep influence are men and women who do not stray from the core but hidden practices of nurturing our hearts. But this cannot be done on the run. It requires time to think, reflect, align our priorities and stay close to God. If anyone needs to say “no” often, it is those who have tasted success and become sought after because of that success.


Cultivate authentic relationships


Success breeds arrogance unless we continue to intentionally cultivate the authentic relationships with other Christ followers who can challenge our thinking, hold us accountable and keep us humble. Whenever I encounter arrogance I know that these critical elements are missing and that there is a high likelihood that a crash is coming. Arrogance is the bi product of unaccountability and isolation.


Perhaps the most important people to those who have tasted success are those who knew us before we were successful in the eyes of others. They are not enamored by our new stature. They know us for who we really are and our relationship is not based on fame or accolades. In fact, they are the very people who see through the fluff to what is truly real. Like God, they are not enamored by the new persona but look for the authentic us.


Men and women who have come into significant wealth know this truth. It is the friends they had before they were wealthy that they know to be true friends and not looking for some favor. The same is true with those in ministry who come into significant favor. Those who isolate themselves from accountable relationships often pay a heavy price. Those who foster authentic relationship with those who are not impressed by their success guard their hearts.


Pay close attention to your shadow side


If anyone needs to understand and be aware of their shadow sides, it is those who have tasted success. In success we are tempted to believe that we are better than we really are – to minimize our weaknesses and exaggerate our strengths. It is a dangerous place to be because the evil one is constantly looking for opportunities to trip us up and when we exaggerate our strengths in our own minds and minimize our great weaknesses and shadow side we are prime meat for him.


Arrogance is thinking too highly of ourselves. Humility is understanding who we are, Who the source of our gifts and success is and that every good thing we are and have accomplished comes from the generous hand of the Father. My very ability to write this blog is simply the gift of a heavenly Father who gave me the gift of putting words on paper to encourage and challenge others.


Because success blinds us of our shadow side, one of the keys to guarding our hearts is paying more attention to our shadow side as we experience success. It reminds us of our spiritual frailty; of our need for God’s grace on a daily basis and that we are merely cracked pots whom God uses in his redemption plan for our world. Our shadow side, that part of us that still needs to be sanctified by Christ is a daily reminder that we are no different than any of God’s other children. It humbles us and causes us to fall before the cross daily for a needed dose of grace and forgiveness. It helps us guard our heart.


Intentionally serve others


One of the deadly results of success is the temptation to think that others should be serving us rather than our serving them. It is the conversation that Jesus needed to have with two of his disciples when he pointed out that the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve - and so with His disciples.


As the leader of a large organization I am acutely aware of privileges that I enjoy. I have greater autonomy over my priorities and schedule, authority to make decisions that impact others, the ability to build a team that covers for my weaknesses and allows me to live in my sweet spot most of the time and recognition for ministry efforts that others may not normally receive. These are privileges of position. They are also temptations to believe that I am special and entitled when compared to others.


Nothing could be farther from the truth! The posture of Jesus and His disciples is the posture of a servant who came to serve rather than to be served. It is the posture of Jesus in Philippians 2 where He humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross.


The posture of a servant guards our hearts and keeps us grounded in the Christian call to serve others as Christ served and serves us. It helps us resist the insidious move toward pride and privilege and helps us remember the source of our success – the gracious hand of God and those who make up our team and organization.

Guarding Our Hearts

At the center of our inner lives is what the Scriptures call our heart. Within the heart lies the truest core of who we are - our relationship with God, our motives (good, bad and sometimes mysterious even to us), that which has been brought under the lordship of Jesus and that which makes up our shadow side. Our hearts are deeply complex and central to everything we are and our commitment to understand and guard our hearts over the long haul of our lives is perhaps the most critical element in becoming a person of deep influence.



Life was far simpler in my younger years than they are today in my fifties as it relates to my heart. As a young Christian I saw things as black and white, good or bad. I understood certain temptations and did my best to make choices that were pleasing to God but I did not understand the labyrinth of my heart: its passages, rooms, closets, corners, areas where the light of Christ penetrates brilliantly and those where there is more shadow than light. Nor did I understand my ability to celebrate those areas of light and to minimize or ignore the areas of shadowy twilight.


With each passing year I understand better how much of me has yet to be transformed by Christ. I am continually amazed and often disheartened to discover another door of my heart that I have not opened to Him. With each realization I recognize how much more I need His grace today than yesterday and how important it is to understand my heart, to live in truth rather than deception (or ignorance) and that my spiritual pilgrimage is about understanding Him better so that I understand me better and can bring another part of me into alignment with Him.


People of deep influence are exegetes of their own hearts. They actively seek to peel back the layers of protection we use to avoid confronting the real us in order to allow God to transform us into what He made us to be – in every area of life – a process to be completed only when we see Him face to face! They live with a deep sense of God’s grace in their lives because they are willing to acknowledge their own darkness and allow God too shine His light in dark and dangerous places within their own souls.


Solomon was one who understood the multifaceted dimensions of the heart – its capacity for good under the Lordship of God and its capacity for deception and evil under the lordship of self. It is he who wrote this admonition: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).


Our hearts are the place from which all of our attitudes, motives, and actions emanate. Jesus was clear on this…. Scripture is also clear on the fact that the heart of man was severely damaged by the fall, when Adam believed Satan that if he ate the fruit of the tree he would become like God. Interestingly, it was simply another version of Satan’s own attempt to become like God, or to usurp God so Satan’s own competition with God became man’s competition with God with the result that “We all like sheep have gone astray, each one going his own way” rather than God’s way.


The dilemma we face is that even though transformed by grace – having been justified by Christ’s blood, the process of sanctification is ongoing and the ability of our hearts to deceive us is significant. This is why Christ followers can do such damage to one another – we are deceived in our own hearts that what we are doing is justified when often it is simply the sinfulness of our lower nature showing its ugly head.


I think of church leaders who in the name of “ministry” hurt others who get in their way to success. I think of Christ followers who refuse to reconcile with another party even when that party desires reconciliation. I think of my own ability to justify attitudes or actions that negatively impact others in the name of furthering the gospel of Christ. It takes deep sensitivity to the Spirit of God and word of God which has the ability to divide the marrow of the heart, to sift through what is truly righteous in our motives, thoughts and actions, and what is the residue of our own sinful, stubborn and independent nature!


For leaders, this issue is even more important because our actions impact others in a more direct way than the actions of the average person. And, we have authority over others that many do not have. How we use that authority is always a matter of our heart and whether we understand the layers of our hearts, thoughts, motives, intentions, desires and the myriad other influences on our lives that impact our actions. Like the proverbial onion, there are layers and layers of possible motivations to our actions and getting the real “core” is the constant challenge of a person of deep influence.

Split Boards, Split Congregations

It grieves me every time I hear it. A church board that cannot get its act together, cannot speak with one voice, and cannot deal with rogue board members. Once again, I heard recently of a pastor who has resigned from his church because of massive, ongoing, untreated cancer on his board. Cancer of disagreement, lack of unity, inability to resolve issues, inability to make common decisions that are then kept and inability to support the pastor with one voice.

This is a board that is going to cause a crisis for the congregation. Their poor leadership, their inability to police themselves and their total lack of leadership skills will likely throw the congregation into a major leadership, ministry and financial crisis. The congregation may never recover from a massive wound which their own leadership has inflicted.

There are three principles that I have observed over the many years that I have worked with church boards and congregations. First, the congregation rarely exceeds the spiritual level of its leaders. Second, the congregation usually mirrors the unity or lack of unity of its leaders. Third, congregations suffer deeply when there is dysfunction on the board and benefit deeply when there is health on the board.

Boards think that what happens behind their closed doors are secret. Congregations read the health or dishealth of the board in intuitive ways and real ways and their conduct, health, alignment and behavior matters. Frankly some boards behave in ways that they would never allow others in the congregation to behave.

Once when talking to a church leader about massive board dishealth in his church I suggested that the whole board ought to resign and allow a new group who were willing to work in a unified and healthy way take over. The alternative of perpetuating ongoing board and therefore congregational dishealth is too painful - and too hurtful to the bride of Christ.

One thing I know about this present situation is that a number of board members simply refused good help and counsel when it was offered. They refused help and counsel from seasoned mature leaders and in the end they have deeply wounded the church instead. The book of Proverbs has a word for those who refuse wise counsel - "fools." It is a strong word but it fits rogue boards or rouge board members wherever they are who will not or cannot get their act together for the sake of the congregation they lead.

The church is the place where the very best leadership should be found for it represents the most important enterprise in the world - the bride of Christ and the spread of the Gospel. Where that leadership is treated lightly, where personal agendas get in the way, where rouge and unaccountable board members are tolerated - it is a sinful shame.

Listening with our eyes

Recently one of my colleagues was spending time with his grandchildren while their parents were dealing with an emergency situation with another of their kids. My colleague was constantly on his cell phone (who of us is not?) dealing with his own work issues.

After a while one of his grand kids came up to him, turned his face with his hands so my colleague was looking him in the eyes and said. "Put that phone away. I want you to listen to me with your eyes!"

That was a profound statement from a youngster. He wanted his granddad's full attention, not distracted attention. He wanted him to hear him with his eyes - meaning that he was truly listening, truly paying attention, truly interested. And he knew that his granddad was not listening with his eyes.

On our second trip to Israel some years ago, we were eating breakfast in a hotel we had been in some years earlier. One of the waiters came up to our table and said to my wife, Mary Ann, you were here before! Why would he remember? Because Mary Ann looks people in the face and gives a wide smile when she greets them and she listens to them with her eyes. They don't forget.

One of the interesting comments in the gospels about Jesus is that He looked directly at people. He was fully engaged. He listened to them with His eyes. In doing so, he honored them and made it clear that he cared about them and connected with them.

How often do we only half engage and half listen. I for one am going to do better at listening with my eyes. From the mouths of little ones.....great wisdom.

Powerful Words

Recently I met with a church board that had been experiencing significant conflict with its relatively new and young senior pastor. Tensions had been high and one leader had chosen to step off the board in the prior meeting because of his discouragement. It was if a giant log jam was piling up at a rapid pace threatening the unity of the board and the church.

The day before I met with the board an extraordinary thing happened. The young pastor after much self searching and counsel from mentors wrote an extraordinary letter to his board apologizing for his behavior, asking their forgiveness and committing himself to work as a team. When I came to the meeting, it was as if the giant logjam had been released. Even the member who had stepped off the board was there with a renewed sense of hope.

It takes humility to say, I have been wrong and am sorry. But those words, coupled with a truly repentant spirit can break any number of relational or leadership logjams. The longer we insist on our "rightness" the higher the logjam becomes. The moment we acknowledge our wrongness the faster the logjam is released.

Church boards and other teams suffer when members - including leaders - refuse to acknowledge they have been wrong. Our pride foolishly compromises our mission and the work of God. The answer is simple. Humbly acknowledge we have been wrong, ask forgiveness and make whatever we need to make right. 

Transparency with Ourselves

A life of transparency with others has the benefit of encouraging us to be transparent with God about our lives as well. It is not that God needs our help in this – He is fully aware of who we are and where we struggle. He does not need our transparency but we do. Not as a matter of guilt but as a matter of knowing where He is gently (sometimes not so gently) prodding us to move closer to him and away from the distractions of self and sin.



Understanding our own hearts, our particular vulnerabilities (our shadow side) and areas where we need to grow spiritually keeps us from pride, from self-satisfaction, from the often unbiblical view of life and success and keeps us grounded in our need of His grace and presence. All of us would like to think that we are better than we are, more mature than we are and less vulnerable than we are. When we measure our lives against the truth of His word we realize that none of that is true. We need God desperately and one another deeply. Our hearts – by themselves – are prone to mislead us regarding our true spiritual condition.


The moment we start to fool ourselves about our own lives we begin to compromise our influence. This is why it is so critical to take the time regularly to examine our own lives, motives, priorities, and thinking – being as honest with ourselves as we can. We often avoid such analysis because it can be painful but ironically it is part of the path to deep influence because it is in our need for His grace and the ongoing transformation of our lives through His Spirit that our lives have the most influence.


Such self and spiritual understanding gives our lives authenticity and authenticity gives us influence because there is an inherent integrity to lives that embrace truth rather than self-deception. Here is an interesting question to ponder: Where are you most likely to be self deceived? It is an “ouch” question but one that merits personal analysis. Self deception comes in many varieties and we are each prone to our own areas of deception that unless understood become spiritual traps robbing us of influence.


On this count, there are a growing number of men and women who have a “spiritual mentor:” a mature and insightful individual who has permission to probe their spiritual lives and ask the kinds of questions that cause them to think deeply. This is not about having someone tell them what to do or God’s will for their life, or taking the place of the Holy Spirit. It is about asking the probing questions that help discern the spiritual crevices of their lives.


People of deep influence are people of truth. They seek truth in their lives, in their relationship with God, in their relationships and in their work. The pursuit of truth is a Godly pursuit. Remember that the evil one is the father of lies. As citizens living in a fallen world we are prone to believe those lies. As citizens of heaven we are committed to pursuing truth.


Truth comes to us through the Word of God and the practice of meditation on His word where we measure His word against our own lives. It comes to us through the Holy Spirit who is our counselor and “the Spirit of truth” (John 14:16). And it comes to us through close, trusted friends who are given permission to speak into our lives even when the words are hard to hear. People of deep influence have those people, listen to God’s Spirit and spend significant time in God’s word. They are pursuers of truth in all of life.


In the pursuit of truth and wisdom, there is no substitute for a lifelong study of the Wisdom literature in the Old Testament: Job, Psalms, and Proverbs. What passes for wisdom in our world is often foolishness to God and vice versa. Saturating ourselves in wisdom and truth becomes a filter through which we view the messages that come to us on a daily basis regarding wisdom and success. The wisdom of the Kingdom is foolishness to the world. The juxtaposition of a “fool” in God’s eyes with the “wise” is sobering when one considers how our society defines both kinds of people.


These books challenge us to understand the fear of the Lord by following him in all arenas of life and to examine our hearts, motives and followership continually. They help us understand the holiness of God and His heart of truth and grace. They are a goldmine of wisdom for those who desire deep influence with others.

Presence

Our greatest influence will come through our personal interactions with others. Distant and unapproachable leaders may look impressive (for a while) but they will not have the kind of deep influence that a present and approachable leaders has. Our greatest influence is life on life and that requires relationship, time with others and shared work or life.



Through high school I had contact with Dr. Walter Kaiser as he mentored me from a distance in theology and the Old Testament. I admired him greatly but did not know him well. Then, as his teaching assistant at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School I saw him almost daily for four years when school was in session. I was in his home and saw his interactions with his family. I was in a small group with him and students in my cohort. I watched him deal with the many challenges he faced as the Dean of the Seminary. I saw the authentic, honest, unvarnished and transparent Dr. Kaiser and his life rubbed off on mine in a powerful way. Most of all I saw his amazing heart for God and desire to influence the world for Christ. He gave me an amazing gift, one that I can never repay in allowing me into his life and I was changed because of it.


People who want to have deep influence have a commitment to other people. They love people and are willing to invest in them. While I am by nature more of an introvert than an extrovert much of my life is spend with key individuals who are my colleagues and whom I desire to influence. My writing is merely an extension of that time with people where the real lessons are learned and the deepest influence takes place. This is where the power of transparency is at its best.


Since high school I have practiced the discipline of spending quality time with a select number of individuals – usually around ten at a time – and continue to do so to this day. These may be formal mentoring relationships or often informal where time together, dialogue, and discussion allow life on life influence. Sometimes it is fairly one way, sometimes two way. These are individuals that I believe God desires me to have influence on for a season. In some cases they are fairly young, in others, middle age or older.


One of the mistakes in the western world as it relates to spiritual transformation is to focus on class room teaching or reading. While these can be valuable pieces of the equation, the reality is that the most powerful growth and transformation is life on life rather than primarily classroom. That is why Jesus lived with twelve disciples, dialogued with them, did ministry with them and even sent them on their own for special ministry. But his influence was one of presence with them rather than simply through his teaching. It was life influencing life.


I was influenced by Dr. Kaiser through his preaching and mentoring from a distance but I was profoundly influenced when I had personal contact with him over a period of four years. What people see in us, what they discuss with us, what happens when we invite them into our lives is far more profound than any classroom experience.


At fifty four years old I know that my deepest influence will be through a new generation of leaders whom I can have a part in developing. These are national leaders from around the world as well as those from this country. It has become one of my four key priorities and it takes place first through presence so that I can invite them into my life. Once there is presence and a relationship there can be ongoing mentoring face to face or from a distance.


What is interesting about presence is that we don’t know how God is going to rub off on others. Often someone will say to me, “Do you know what I remember about our time together?” When I say “What?” they will relate some facet of a conversation that I don’t even remember. The Holy Spirit had been working just where they needed encouragement or a word and I had no clue at the time – but that is the magic of life on life interaction.


Because time is precious I think and pray about who I choose to invest in personally through my presence. I want to develop other deep influence individuals who will in turn do the same. At its heart this is about transparency and inviting others into my life.

Spiritual Transformation and Transparency

The goal that Jesus has for our lives is to make us into the best version of me (reflecting the person of Christ) that is possible through the work of His Spirit. This process is the spiritual transformation of our hearts, our minds, our priorities and our relationships.



Remember, perfection is not the goal of our lives – that will take place only when we see Him face to face. Paul challenges us to simply live up to the level of maturity that we already have (Philippians 3:16). The most powerful indicator of God’s supernatural work in our lives is this very transformation because in its process, our hearts, minds, priorities and relationships change and those changes are only possible through God’s work in our lives. It is as people see those changes and want the same for their lives that they press into how and why we have changed. Or are quietly influenced to move in the same direction themselves.


It is this very transformation which God intends for our lives that is a powerful source of our deep influence with others as they see God’s work in our lives. I am a gentler, kinder, more empathetic person than I was twenty years ago. Those who have known me over that time can see the change and it is a testimony to God’s work in my life. It gives me greater influence but the very transformation becomes a encouragement to those who need to experience that same transformation themselves.


Paul made this point to Timothy when he wrote, “Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:15-16). It was precisely Timothy’s growth that would be an encouragement to those who knew him and give him credibility in his ministry.


Never allow anyone to place you on a pedestal as if you have arrived. It is a dangerous and dishonest place to be. Rather, be disclosing about where God is working in your life as a reminder to others that the work of God’s Spirit is central to our lives and that all of us are on that journey. We cannot influence others from a pedestal (it is dishonest and unattainable). We can influence others as we are transparent about our own spiritual journey and the lessons we are learning.


As we press into the transformation God desires for our lives, we gain influence because we become more like Him. At the same time, as we are open about what God is doing in our lives we influence others in the same direction. Transparency in the journey is a key element in our deeper influence with those around us. While we all try to hide the rough spots in our lives to some degree or another, we all struggle with the same kinds of things. Those who are willing to name the struggles and how God is working become a great encouragement to others who want and need the same.


Think through your circle of friends and acquaintances and ask yourself the question, “How self disclosing and transparent am I with them?” I have found that the more transparent I am in my leadership role, the more those I lead appreciate me and my self disclosure. In that self-disclosure I become more real, less guarded, more accessible, humbler, less threatened and less threatening. Just being me – as long as I am engaged in God’s transformation is far more powerful than seeking a persona of me.


Transparency begets transparency. And, it deepens our influence as others are encouraged to allow God to do in their lives what He is doing in ours.


One powerful area of regular transparency is simply sharing what God is showing us as we pursue him. That openness is also an encouragement to others to also be pressing into their relationship with God and avoid the trap of being so busy serving Him that we are not cultivating our relationship with him. Every time I hear a colleague share how God is working in their life I am encouraged to think about that area in my life and I am reminded that “intimacy comes before impact.”


The power of a group of individuals regularly sharing their cutting edge issues with God is truly significant. It is a leverage in the lives of all present because we are exposed to many lessons being learned. And the openness promotes individual an group transparency. It is leaders who set the culture for this kind of sharing. To the extent that we are open and transparent, others will be as well.

The Authentic Us

In a previous blog we looked at the freedom of being who God made us to be and being comfortable in our own skin. This comfortableness in our skin allows us to increasingly set aside the need for pretence that we are something we are not and it gives us the freedom to disclose who we are with confidence.



Authentic people have real issues in their marriages, families, work and relationships. They have fears, anxiety over certain things, become defensive when certain buttons are pushed and suffer from insecurities. This side of heaven we are plagued with all kinds of issues that go to our Emotional Intelligence, wiring, weaknesses, shadow side and vulnerabilities. Anyone who pretends otherwise is either fooling themselves or living with false pretences.


What people need from leaders of deep influence is honesty (appropriate to the situation) about issues they face and how they deal with them. I do not look like an insecure person and generally I am not. But when I share some of my insecurities with groups of leaders they sit up and listen – they are surprised – but guess what, they also related. I am not the only one with insecurities and in disclosing my issues I gain a hearing and encourage others. It gave me greater influence with them because in seeing the real me, they resonated with the issues I raised and it provided the framework for significant dialogue among us. I am continually amazed at the power of appropriate transparency.


Our transparency with others creates an atmosphere of transparency where it becomes safe to talk about those issues that plague us all but which we are afraid to disclose. Creating that atmosphere is a gift to the team you lead or the people you influence because hidden, these issues hurt us while they can be resolved or helped in the light. In doing so, we also create a culture of authenticity where struggles are acknowledged, people are encouraged and facades discouraged. It is a culture of authentic grace and truth.


This combination of grace and truth that characterized Christ is crucial to healthy transparency. Truth means that we are committed to walking in truth, speaking truth, and creating cultures of truth. But truth must always be balanced with grace if it is not going to be harsh and hard. And it starts with us in an honest, non-defensive way that does not blame or throw stones but simply lives and speaks truth as a way of life.


A culture of authenticity and honesty carries over to organizational culture as well. I am familiar with many churches and Christian organizations where there is more airbrushed gloss than truth about what is really happening in the ministry. Problems are ignored or spiritualized, problem people are not dealt with, and ministry effectiveness or lack of it is not honestly looked at. It is always interesting to see a more authentic leader come into such situations and actually name things for what they are! It is a refreshing change for those who didn’t like the facade and a threatening change for those who did. Many Christian organizations are just waiting for such a leader who is transparent about their personal challenges and the challenges of the ministry they lead.


My transparency as a leader encourages others to be transparent as well. My honesty elicits honesty among others and it is transparent honest discussion that allows an organization to draw out the best rather than hide the worst. If you are not naturally very self-disclosing or transparent I would encourage you to take some small intentional steps toward greater transparency. You will be surprised at how powerful that small step is in how others respond to you and the impact on the group you work with. It will encourage you to continue to increase your personal level of self disclosure.


Such transparency takes a level of courage and self confidence. For three years, I have written a blog (LeadingFromTheSandbox.blogspot.com). At times, what I have written has been used by a few against me claiming that what I write there does not equal how the organization I lead actually operates. They are right but miss the point. In calling the organization to a higher level we intentionally create a gap between where we are and where we aspire to be. Our goal is then to close the gap – but a gap will always be present as we continue to call the organization to even higher levels of excellence. I am willing to take the hits from the cynical and the perfectionist, both of whom will complain about the gap. At least the conversation opens up important issues for dialogue and my self disclosure is deeply appreciated by the majority of the organization.


Authentic self disclosure is a significant element in developing trust with others and within an organization. Trust is based on understanding the thinking of leaders, of minimizing surprises where possible, and providing venues for dialogue around important issues. That starts with the self disclosure of a leader who is willing to put the cards on the table and then invite dialogue. Secretive leaders engender mistrust while self disclosing leaders build high trust.


There is another venue for transparency that makes a great difference in ministry organizations and that is transparency over schedules and work. Ministry roles, particularly in the church or in mission work can often be unstructured (not a good thing) and without much accountability to others. Two consequences of this are first a lack of intentionality in schedules and work and second a lack of trust and reliability by leaders who live by the seat of their pants.


Picture a pastor who makes his schedule on the run, does not keep his staff up to speed on his priorities or schedule, and changes direction on the whim of the moment. I have consulted in situations like that and the common complaint is that “We don’t know what he does.” That is a dangerous place for a leader to be because behind that observation is a trust issue. Lack of information breeds mistrust because lack of accountability breeds mistrust.


All senior leaders in our organization make their online calendars available to one another which means that there is information available on what each one is up to. In addition, most months I publish my schedule by day to my prayer team so they can be praying through the month – again transparency and accountability. My point is that transparency in all areas of life is healthy: it models openness, it shuns secretiveness which is dangerous and it is a life of ongoing accountability. Transparency and accountability go hand in hand.


For those in ministry transparency also applies to ministry results. There is a significant tendency and perhaps pressure to speak “evangelistically” about what God is actually doing and the results of our ministries. Truth and honesty are high priorities for people of deep influence. They tell what is not what they wish it was. Dishonesty about ministry results is incompatible with the God of truth. And since ministry fruit is his ultimate responsibility we can leave those results with him.


The key themes here are honesty, openness, transparency and a life of truth all of which are connected to accountability. All of these qualities engender trust and model healthy life practices. Those practices keep our own lives in safe waters as well and contribute to lives of deep influence.

Non self disclosure

There are probably a number of reasons that we choose not to be as self-disclosing or transparent as we could. Perhaps the most common reason is that our pride prevents us from sharing lessons or situations where we have played a role, been less than we should be or really messed up. It is pride that causes evangelicals to wear false masks about their lives, pretending that all is well when in fact, they are struggling with significant life issues.



This is unfortunate because our lack of transparency often prevents other from understanding us, learning from us and allowing our lives to influence theirs. And it is not necessary if we are comfortable with who we are, how God made us and the fact that we are merely cracked pots (Paul’s language) that God graciously uses for his purposes.


There are several churches that I love to attend because there is a transparency among the people that is different than the norm. They are quick to strike up conversations and are equally willing to freely share their story of how they came to faith. There is no pretence or mask. They talk about failed marriages, struggles with pornography, affairs, bankruptcies, pride, relational breakdowns – and how God has redeemed them.


The lack of transparency among so many of us is a tactic to keep our dignity but in reality it hurts the very thing that we want most – spiritual influence. The reason that we go to the Psalms in times of difficulty is that we want honest faith not a fake faith. The reason we attract people when we are transparent is the same – people can relate to honest faith, real life, humanly irreparable situations but not fake faith. Thus the more transparent we are in our own lives, the more real we are to those around us and the more real we are the more influence we can have.


As a general rule, pride hides the true us in order to present an image which is better than we are. Humility (nothing to prove – nothing to lose) seeks to be who we are all the time, genuine versions of us. It is the real us rather than the false us which will be most powerful in the lives of others. People cannot relate to false personas (and usually see through them) but they can relate to real people. Further, simply being who we are means that we don’t need to manage a public me and a private me – a complicated dual persona to keep up. Just being me in the process of God’s transformation is a comfortable and honest place to live.


Since there will not be a perfect me till I see Jesus, I don’t have to pretend that there is. And being an imperfect me gives me the freedom to admit failure or sin or mistakes when they occur and simply say, “I am sorry, will you forgive me.” Those powerful words, too seldom used, bring great respect and the lack of them relational breakdown that can last for decades.


Pride, the nemesis of leaders, often keeps us from admitting our fault and in the effort to look good we end up hurting others and losing influence. It is the antithesis of a transparent life.


Another reason for lack of transparency is fear: fear that we will not look good, fear that others may not like us if they knew the real us and fear that others might use our information against us. On this last point, we clearly need to be wise in terms of what we disclose to whom. The rule is that the level of disclosure goes up as relational trust grows and we never simply disclose everything to everyone.


Think, though about messages you have heard that you really resonated with. Are they simply good theology or are they not also the disclosure of how the one preaching has personally wrestled with the theology? Truth without application is not very helpful. The application is where we most touch and understand the text itself. When I use my own struggles (funny or not) to illustrate the truth, I invite in others who can relate to my story. It happens through transparency and self-disclosure.


Self-disclosure and transparency are a choice that we make about how open we are willing to be. That choice will in large part determine how much influence we have with those around us. Transparency is really about authenticity. It is living with a commitment that we will be who we are with whomever we are with all the time. It is living without masks or facades.


It is also about an unselfish life where we make the effort to invite others into our lives, knowing that there is a price to pay for that: our time and energy. Selfishness says leave me alone – it is easier that way. Selflessness says I care about you and am willing to open my life to you.