Reality Distortion Fields

The phrase was coined by members of Steve Jobs teams when he wanted to convince them that something they all knew to be false was indeed true. They would quietly whisper, "beware of the reality distortion field, don't get caught in it." Steve, with his powerful, over the top persuasive abilities was able to convince a lot of people a lot of things a lot of the time and it all fit his version of reality, his reality distortion field.


The truth is that we all have reality distortion fields which allow us to see reality on our terms. Healthy individuals keep those distortion fields to a minimum while unhealthy individuals allow them to grow and expand until they are literally living in an alternative reality - often quiet separated from reality. 


Some years ago, I was asked by a pastor and board to determine why he and the board were experiencing so much conflict. I interviewed board members, staff members and finally the pastor himself. He was amazed that people felt the way they did about him as he had been living with a picture of himself that was quite different than the picture others had. His distortion field (the level of distortion between his view and reality) would have caused him to likely lose his job if he had not rectified the problem quickly because it was at the root of the conflict between he and the board and staff. 


I have seen reality distortion fields become pathological when an individual becomes so disconnected from reality (yes in ministry) that they actually believe their unhealthy treatment of others is OK and that those they mistreat are actually OK with it as well. Of course, when you do your own inquiry one finds out that this is not the case at all but the defensive mechanisms of the one with a significant reality distortion field protects him or her from the guilt they ought to have for their behavior. Reality distortion fields always provide the perpetrator of poor behavior an alternative explanation which absolves them and places the blame on others. 


Usually, reality distortion fields are allowed to grow (often in leaders) because those around them do not have the courage to confront and tell the individual the truth. There is a reason for the lack of courage. These individuals are very hard to get through to. Their defensiveness is massive and they don't want to hear a version of truth that messes with their reality distortion field. However, the logical outcome of their progression into non reality is narcissism where they can justify anything and eventually implode but only after hurting a great many people. 


I asked one board whose pastor exhibited these tendencies why they had not done a job review in decades. The answer was that the senior pastor was too defensive and threatened by it so they held off, allowing the senior pastor's behavior to escalate and continue to hurt others. This particular pastor would use threats against those who tried to penetrate his defenses. The board actually thought that if they pushed their pastor he would quit since he had threatened on a number of occasions to do so. Ironically it would have been the best thing that could have happened to the church.


Those who live with reality distortion fields are crazy makers to those around them. They so distort reality that those who live in reality start to wonder if they are somehow going nuts and may even be to blame for the chaos that they see around them! It is like the inmates of an insane asylum convincing the staff that they ought to trade places because it is really the staff who are living with reality distortion fields and not the inmates. If you have ever lived or worked close to one with a reality distortion field you know exactly what I am talking about!


If you have a situation like this in your ministry please deal with it. The longer you wait the more distortion takes place and the more distortion takes place the more people get hurt. 

The decision making checklist

Decision making is an art based on good input and good thinking. In any critical decision the following checklist can be helpful to understand the risks and opportunities in the decision.


1. When does the decision need to be made? My philosophy is to wait until the decision needs to be made before pulling the trigger. The more time  I have to "think grey" the more of the implications I can discover.


2. Who will the decision impact? Decision makers often do not think carefully about who will be most impacted by the decision. Be sure you know exactly who will be affected and how?


3. What will the push back be? There is always push back to a critical decision - change is uncomfortable. Brainstorm about the push back you are likely to encounter so that your explanation can answer as many questions up front as possible.


4. What is the upside? Decisions are made because there is some advantage to them. Can you articulate clearly the positive impact that the decision will have for your organization?


5. What are the potential unintended consequences? To the best of your ability, identify the consequences of your decision and even what the unintended consequences might be.


6. Who needs to be consulted? The best decisions are made in consultation with others. Who can speak into your proposed action and bring greater clarity or even alternatives to the table?


7. What is the roll out process for informing people? Process is as important as the decision itself. One may have a brilliant idea but run a bad process leaving people with a bad taste in their mouth regarding the decision. Make sure you know how you are going to process people.


8. Should there be dialogue with the affected people? Once you have your ducks in a row and before the decision goes into affect, is there a forum to dialogue with impacted parties to answer questions and concerns in a non-defensive way.


9. If people have concerns, who should they contact? Make sure there is a place to go with ongoing concerns or questions.

The up side of failure

We all fail, whether in large or small ways. No one is exempt. We mess up a relationship and it fails. We lose our business and it fails. We get a bad review and feel like a failure. We lead a team that fell apart - failure. A divorce, DWI conviction, being fired from our job...there are many definitions of failure. Sometimes it is true failure and sometimes we just feel like a failure. But what is failure?


At its root, failure is the opportunity for growth! It calls the question on whether or not we will learn from our circumstance whether self inflicted or other inflicted. It is an opportunity to start over and evaluate, re-calibrate, engage in God in a new way and see new life. Failure is not fatal but an opportunity. Moses found this out, as did the apostle Peter and King David or in our time, Chuck Colson.


When failure invades our lives it is time to call a time out! Depending on the source of the failure there is a sense of loss, maybe guilt, and certainly deep sadness. Nothing wounds the human spirit like failure. It is a wound, it hurts and like a wound takes time to heal. It is an opportunity and it will either take us to despair or hope.


There is no time when despair is more easy or hope more comforting than in failure. Do we give up or do we look forward in the knowledge that God's grace is greater than our failure and His sovereignty is not diminished by our circumstances. Understanding His goodness and His greatness is the genesis of hope, however small in the pain of failure. Press into Him and that tiny grain of hope will grow. Chuck Colson will tell you that his failure in politics and subsequent jail term was the very thing that forced him to open his heart to hope, in Jesus. Failure is an opportunity for growth! Out of his Colson's failure came a close walk with God, numerous books and the transformation ministry of Prison Fellowship.


Too often we move through life without much inspection of our path or introspection of our heart. Time outs, when we are forced to confront our own weakness and need is a precious gift. If, we take the route of hope and move closer to Jesus. 

Just one thing!

As one year draws to a close and another one begins we often think about new beginnings. There are usually many things we would like to improve on, do differently, or start doing. This is where New Year resolutions come in and they often don't work well - usually because we complicate things.


The key to change in life is keeping it simple - and focused. Consider asking just one question in four areas of life as you look at next year.


What is the one change I would like to make in my personal life?
What is the one change I would like to make in my spiritual life?
What is the one change I would like to make in my professional life?
What is the one change I would like to make in my family life?


Just one thing in four spheres of life!


Changing one thing and actually doing it is far more powerful than trying to do a bunch of things and not accomplishing it. And one thing multiplied by four can be powerful change or new beginnings.


Oh, one other thing. Don't wait until January one. Start today and by the time the new year kicks in you are already practicing one new thing in four key areas of life.


One thing - just one.

What does God want for you today?

Take a moment and consider what God wants for you today. We often consider what He wants of us but what does He want for us?


There is no better answer to that question than the blessing that God Himself gave to the priests in Numbers 7:24-26 to pray over the Israelites. This is His wish, His blessing, His commitment to you, His promise to you today.

The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make his face to shine upon you;

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.

That is an amazing statement from the God of the universe to us. As you walk through your day today, God is going to bless you. His face is turned toward you and offers you peace no matter the circumstances of your life. And He will be gracious to us! Wow!

What more needs to be said? And just so we would get it, He sent His Son to deliver the message personally.

Does your ministry have vision so compelling that people cannot ignore it?

It was Jim Collins who gave us the new word BEHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). It is the concept of a vision so compelling, so clear, so focused and so energizing that it cannot be ignored. In fact, by its very nature it draws people in who resonate and want to be a part of it. 


This kind of vision is not necessarily about big or expensive. We too often attribute compelling vision as big numbers. Not so. Compelling vision may be to be part of a coalition of churches to together reach every home in a city. Your church size does not matter, but the vision is compelling. It may be to become a congregation known for its love and compassion in the community. It could be to adopt a region of the world where a congregation is committed to bringing the Gospel in a holistic way - a huge challenge that is not dependent on church size. 


Compelling vision is a vision that can be articulated clearly, meets real spiritual needs, is other centered rather than us centered, requires significant energy and even sacrifice to accomplish and will positively and significantly impact a group, community or area with the love and message of Jesus. It's mandate is one that cannot be ignored. 


Here is a counter intuitive principle. We often think people will be motivated to participate and give and become excited when it is something that benefits them. Actually, for most,  the more "other centric" a vision is, the more compelling it is. It calls us to something. It challenges us to participate in what God is doing in big ways. It requires the skills of everyone. It invites us to sacrifice for the sake of something great. It lifts us out of the mundane and calls us to something of eternal significance. 


What is your ministry's compelling vision?


Oh, about BEHAGs? Jesus gave us the biggest one ever. It is the great commandment to love one another as He loved us and the Great Commission, to reach our world for Him.

Hope and Grace 2007

Every December 4 through January 14 since 2007 I daily read the blog www.reachtj.blogspot.com as a remembrance to the hope we have in Jesus and the grace that he extends so freely to us. The blog is the account of my 42 day hospital stay from which I never should have survived - but God gave my family hope and He extended to me  the grace of an extension of life for which I am eternally grateful. 

The battle between life and death started on December 4 when I entered the hospital unable to breath. They quickly determined that I was in congestive heart failure and had massive pneumonia and a huge pleural effusion (a collection of fluid in the wall of the lung-like having a liter of pop stuck inside your lung wall). What they would not know for a week was that it was MRSA  or Methicyllin resistant staphylococcus aureas- a "super bug" pneumonia. This would lead to septic shock, Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, a failed mitral valve in my heart, high fevers that required ice cooling jackets, the shutting down of some of my organs, heartbeats of 220 or higher without the ability to shock my heart back into rhythm - all this while I was in a coma and on a ventilator. On a number of occasions the doctors gathered the family to prepare them for my imminent death.

Amazingly God gave my wife, Mary Ann, hope two days into this ordeal. Two days later was the day that I told her I believed I was going to die. It was the day that they would put me on a ventilator from which I should not have woken up alive. It was the day that I could barely breath as I felt I was drowning in my own fluids. But two days before that day as she sat by me bed she asked Jesus, "How should I pray?" And God replied in an audible voice (to her), "It will be very close, but T.J. will live." A voice of hope when there was no human hope. A voice of hope that she clung to during the next weeks of a life and death struggle. When the doctors gently told the family there was no hope she stood on the hope God had given her. She was a rock of faith as were my sons Jon and Chip who walked through the dark days with her and became men in the process.

Our family experienced amazing grace during and after those days. Our prayer partners came to pray and love on the family. Friends gathered around and sheltered them in their love. And time and again, God gave His grace when it was needed. One night as my youngest sister was standing by my bed angry with God tired and discouraged, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Immediately she knew that it was going to be OK whether I lived or I died. She turned to see who was there but there was no one. She knew she had been touched by God or an angelic being. On another day, a nurse came in tears to Mary Ann and said through tears, "I was just in T.J.'s room and God gave me a vision of him alive and well!"

Most of all we were blessed through the thousands who prayed for God to do something miraculous and extraordinary. It is the faith and prayers of thousands around the world whom God answered in His sovereignty in choosing to heal my broken heart, clear my lungs, defeat MRSA, septic shock, cool the fevers until the day I walked out of the hospital on January 14, a product of His grace.

God gives us hope in all situations and His grace is with us always. Think back to the situations you have been in where He has shown you His hope and His grace and never forget. Never forget! It is His grace that sustains us day to day, it is His hope that walks with us through the dark nights of the soul that we all experience. Someone asked me, "How do you remember?" One of the ways I remember is to read the blog put up for me daily from December 4 to January 14. It is a month of remembrance for me. On that I will follow until I see Him and can thank Him in person. 

I am a walking billboard of God's hope and grace. So are you. Never forget. Always live in thanks for His hope and grace. 

http://www.reachtj.blogspot.com/

Accountability, transparency and calendars

One of the interesting issues in ministry is that there is often very little accountability for how pastors and others in ministry use their time. I have often been in conversations with church staff who are frustrated that they don't know where the pastors they support are or what they are doing when out of the office. Thus for many hours during the week there is no known schedule for the pastoral staff. In one case, the senior pastor was in the office two days a week and the support staff person has no idea what he does the rest of the week. In another case, staff do not have the permission to contact the senior leader when he is out.


On a personal level, lack of accountability is dangerous. On a professional level it is a terrible example to others regarding how accountable we choose to to be. In the professional world such lack of transparency is rarely accepted and where it is, no better an example. 


The more transparent we are regarding how we spend our time, the more trust we elicit. When our staff does not know where we are or what we are doing they can legitimately make all kinds of assumptions. When leaders are not accountable for their time, it sends a message to others as to how accountable they should be. When our staff knows how and where we spend out time (and the hours put in) it creates a culture of accountability and transparency.


Transparency and accountability make for high trust. That is why my schedule is available to all my key staff via electronic calendar sharing. I am also always available if someone needs to reach me. I can also view the calendars of the other members of my team. One can even color code their calendars by activity to understand where the key categories of time is spent. 


Of course that raises a simple question: Do we even have a calendar or are we just doing life by the seat of our pants? Just like our check books reveal the priorities of our spending, so our calendars reveal the priorities of how we choose to spend our time. If there is no calendar it reveals a low view of how one spends his/her time while a detailed calendar reveals a careful view of time spent.   


Time is one of those things that one cannot get back. Our stewardship of how we use that time is an indicator of our desire to live intentionally rather than accidentally. Our transparency with our team regarding our calendar reinforces trust and models healthy accountability.

Group think and courageous interlopers

It happens on boards, among staff members, in congregations and even among friends: group think. A common opinion or shared course of action even when there is evidence that there is another side, another option or even an elephant in the conversation that is being ignored. But the dynamics of the group and peer pressure prevent people from going there. Sometimes it is easier to just agree and pretend that the elephant is not there.

Enter the interloper - "one who jumps into the midst of things," (Webster) and says, "hmm, wait a minute, what about?, have you thought about?, I think we are possibly missing something here, let's talk about the real issue, there is an elephant we are not willing to discuss so I am going to put it on the table."

This is not an easy role to play and it needs to be played carefully. But it is a necessary role for those who are courageous enough to do it. Disagreeing with group think can be an unpopular role to play and thus needs to be done with grace and humility. But, when there are issues behind the issues that are being ignored for comfort or convenience, someone with courage can do the organization a favor by at least putting it on the table. Once on the table, others may be willing to consider it. 

Mature individuals are self defined individuals. They are able and willing to speak their mind without being disagreeable, able to disagree while remaining relationally connected and are not intimidated by being a lone voice with both conviction and humility. They don't have to get their way but they are also not going to ignore issues that are part of the equation. In a word, they are wise without being obnoxious.

Church boards need courageous interlopers from time to time who are willing to press in where others will not go. So do staff teams and even groups of friends. It is not easy but sometimes necessary.

Safety is not our highest value

Guest writer

Brian Duggan

It is a testament to God’s grace that He uses broken and severely flawed people to build His Church.  There are many things we can point to in the church’s past that amaze and dismay…the crusades, slavery, and as often pointed out by young people, materialism.

Today another value has emerged in the developed-world that is insidious in its implications.  It is that safety and security is one of our highest goals in life – even a higher value than the spread of the gospel or simply following the call of God on our lives (although we would not admit that).

When safety is held as a high value it can trump obedience to God’s directive to go into the world and make disciples, to do ministry in a “bad” area of town, to travel to many parts of our world for ministry purposes or even to risk offending a friend or neighbor by sharing the Gospel.  A focus on safety means we buy only the newest car with the most safety features, don’t allow our kids to take risks considered a normal part of childhood a generation ago and we watch documentaries and read magazines that paint the world as a dangerous place which reinforces our fears. 

Since the church is often heavily influenced by its culture, this type of thinking has seeped into teaching and preaching, Bible studies, and small group fellowships.  The search for and value of safety becomes a given and people who don’t  live that way are often considered foolish.

God speaks of safety often in the Bible, but it is in the context of what He provides, not what we should pursue on our own.  He calls us to seek Him for our security, to ask Him for safe travel, to step out in faith and depend on His protection.  Nowhere does the Bible say that a person of faith is to seek his/her own safety or to decide whether to follow His leading based on how safe it is. When the Ephesian elders tried to convince Paul not to travel to Jerusalem for safety reasons, he replied to them "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus (Acts 21:13-14)."

C.S. Lewis described this well in his portrayal of the lion, Aslan (a Christ figure) when he wrote, “He is not safe, but he is good.”  In a world where 24/7 news has to catch our attention to generate advertising dollars, fear sell: stories of hurricanes, wars, earthquakes, and criminals give hosts something to talk about and ads to sell.  But when Christians don’t use God-given filters and evaluate what they see and hear in the context of God’s Word, we are at risk of being influenced more by society than by our Father.

Is safety wrong?  No.  But the pursuit of safety to the detriment of obedience to God’s call is a tragedy that could have a larger impact on spreading the Gospel than many of the church’s past failings. 

Sensitive and insensitive leadership

Steve Jobs was a genius but I suspect that most of those who have made their way through his long biography left the book fascinated but saying, "I would never work for that guy." His empathy and sensitivity level were in the basement as leaders go and many who worked for him felt used and abused. I love his products but abhor his leadership style.


I think the same could be said for many leaders in the Christian ministry world who accomplish amazing things but leave in their wake disillusioned and wounded people. Like Jobs, they were successful in how we often define success but at a huge cost of individuals who were wounded by them in the process. And in both cases I have to ask myself, is success at the cost of people real success? In fact, it seems to me that success at the expense of people is an oxymoron. It cannot be true success because in the end, ministry is about people.


No leader will be universally popular - that I know personally and understand. It is not the job of a leader to be popular but to lead people toward a common mission. There are times that a leader must make an unpopular decision about a staff member. But, a leader is a steward of those they lead and the using, abusing, and disposing of people, or harsh treatment of staff hardly fits the leadership style of Jesus in the Gospels or reflects Biblical teaching on how we interact and treat others. It truly bothers me deeply when I meet leaders who are users and abusers of those they lead. 


The acid test for a leader and for those who watch a leader are these: Is their leadership more about them or those they lead? Is it more about them or the mission they are perusing? In the pursuit of that mission, do they bring people with them or do they leave a trail of victims in their wake? Do they use people or serve people? Do they have empathy for those they lead or are they hard and insensitive when people get in the way of where they want to go? And here is a great question: Would those who have worked for them want to work for them again?


One of the reasons so many individuals leave ministry is that they become disillusioned by working for "Godly leaders" that outsiders look up to but who they have been wounded and abused by. Being violated by those who should have higher standards because they lead in the name of Jesus is deeply wounding. It is truly the dark side of ministry - and the church. 


If you are a leader, ponder these questions. If you are courageous, ask those around you how they rate you in those areas. If you don't care, well, leave ministry!

I cannot find good leaders for my church

It is a common complaint among pastors. However, I believe they are generally wrong. Often the issue is not that there are not good leaders in your church but that the leaders you have are not attracted to serve on your board. Here are some of the things good leaders are not attracted to:


Board meetings that drone on and on with an inability to make clear decisions. Issues that come up time and again after they have already been discussed. Agendas that are about the status quo rather than thinking about the future. Lack of accountability for follow through on decisions that are made. Passive board members. A board with a history of conflict. It is clear that there are elephants in the room that no one is allowed to talk about. Little time for prayer or robust dialogue. An ethos that does not allow for candid conversation about church issues. Lack of a collegial atmosphere.


None of this should surprise us. Good leaders recognize a good leadership culture and they are very good at sniffing out bad leadership cultures and avoid them assiduously. 


Good leaders are looking to serve and lead with other leaders who want a healthy, forward looking and results oriented ministry. They love to tackle problems, solve them and move on. They are more focused on the future than the status quo. They value candid and robust dialogue where there are no elephants in the room. They also value their time and want meetings that start and end on time without wasting time on issues that could be decided elsewhere. And they want to do this with a group that is passionate about following the Lord of the Church.


Here is my point. The culture and ethos of your leadership board has a lot to do with whether good leaders want to sign on. On the healthiest boards, leaders don't want to leave. On unhealthy boards they cannot leave soon enough.

What do I really want to know?

Ask yourself this simple question: What do I really want to know about my personal or leadership strengths and weaknesses? Many of us love to hear about our strengths but not our weaknesses. Yet our weaknesses impact our leadership as much as our strengths and sometimes they actually neutralize our strengths when they negatively impact relationships. On top of this, it is estimated that we overestimate our leadership abilities by about 30% and underestimate our weaknesses by 30% and that is for a healthy leader.


I wrote recently that we have an endless ability to deceive ourselves when that deception allows us to feel better about ourselves. The irony is that those we lead also help us in that deception in that they will rarely tell us what we don't want to know. In other words, they know how candid we want them to be (or not), how open we are to feedback (or not) and what issues they can press into and what issues they must leave unspoken. So the very people who know us the best conspire with us to allow us to blissfully go about our business thinking we are doing well when in fact, everyone but us knows there are issues that if addressed would make us better people and better leaders. Like the emperor with no clothes we are the only ones who don't know the truth!


Truth is an interesting concept, especially when it is about us! We are experts in manipulating truth to fit our version of what we want to think and hear and to minimize what we don't want to think or hear. This is perhaps why introspection is avoided and why we find it so hard to acknowledge our shadow side. Yet, truth is the foundation of personal freedom because the better we know ourselves, good and bad, the healthier we are personally and the healthier our leadership. Truth avoidance eventually catches up with us and can damage both ourselves and those around us.


The greatest barrier to knowing and hearing truth about ourselves is our defensiveness. The greater our defensive mechanisms the less we will understand ourselves as those mechanisms not only keep us from hearing others but from acknowledging our own stuff to ourselves. I have known unapproachable leaders who have no idea how damaging their defensive mechanisms are to their leadership. Defensiveness by definition prevents us from hearing, from receiving feedback or even from acknowledging our own inner knowledge about ourselves. It allows us to deceive ourselves. We essentially lie to ourselves!


There are things about me that I don't like. My lower nature can be very low. I don't like my shadow side. I wish I had only strengths and not weaknesses. With every passing year I am more aware of what I am not in many areas of life. That very awareness, however, is the key to growth which only comes with truth. Truth is the pain or discomfort we experience on the way to a healthier us and to healthier leadership. 


So here is the question. Do we want to conspire with others to deceive ourselves or conspire with others to become a better me and a better leader? Our invitation to others to be candid with us and our commitment to tell truth to ourselves is the key. Learning to lower our defenses and value the discomfort of truth allows others to speak into our lives and us to value introspection. 

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven?

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven? Certainly the angelic hosts knew what was up as they would play a part in the story. Were they in awe (or perhaps disbelief) that the creator was now to become a creature? The one who created creation was now to become a part of that creation?


And what about the Trinity? For all of infinite time they had been one in three and now that unity would be disrupted in a way it had never been before. Soon Jesus would be talking to the Father through prayer rather than the living with Him as One. How did they process the new reality that was about to come?


And Jesus! What did He think about taking on the flesh of those who He had created, going from Spirit to human form not only for thirty three years but forever - identifying for eternity future with those He had created? Moving from the splendor of heaven to the squalor of Bethlehem. How did He process the fact that His life would end in death with the Father's face turned away? 


And the Holy Spirit! Knowing that after the resurrection of Christ, He would from that time on take up residence in every one who called themselves a Christ follower. Infecting every community, workplace, home and situation where those Christ followers lived, worked and travelled with the righteousness of God and heaven.


What words passed between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit regarding the imminent defeat of the evil one who had thrown a perfect creation into disarray and brought so much pain, suffering and heartache into a world hijacked from perfect goodness to grinding evil? What kind of pain had the Godhead suffered watching the insanity of a world gone wrong? Knowing what was intended and how humanity had become inhumane.


As the time of the incarnation drew nearer, did heaven become quiet? Were the angelic hosts peering over the balcony of heaven watching in disbelief for what was going to happen? They certainly could not imagine doing what Jesus was about to do. Were they watching Joseph and Mary who would become mom and dad to God?


One thing is sure. The incarnation changed our planet forever and the eternal destinies of all who embrace Jesus. But it had to have shaken the heavens as well. 

My love hate relationship with the Christmas season

I admit to having a love hate relationship with the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas. It evokes in me memories that go back as far as my mind can remember, all pleasant. And the gift, miracle, and incomprehensible nature of the incarnation is so amazing that just thinking about it in all its dimensions puts an overload on the neurons in the brain. It is truly a wonderful time of the year. And then there is family time: I look forward to having my new grandson in my home for a few days, his parents and my younger son and girlfriend. The tiny house will ring with laughter and rich conversation.

Nor am I a scrooge about giving gifts although in recent years Mary Ann and I have no longer given gifts to one another but simply enjoyed the season. What do we really need at this stage of life? But I do enjoy giving gifts to friends and family. Generally however, you will not find me anywhere near a mall at this time of the year because  my tolerance for crowds is limited and the meaning of Christmas has so little to do with the commercial holiday it has come to be where retailers bet their whole year on making money in the period between Thanksgiving midnight and December 31st (ah the post Christmas mark downs).

This is where the love/hate thing kicks in. I love Christmas, as I love Easter morning. But I keep thinking of Jesus' words that a mans happiness does not exist in the abundance of his possessions and it seems to me that in large part that is what Christmas has become: more possessions, more debt, moving merchandise. 

It all seems so incongruent with the God of he universe coming as a peasant baby to rescue a world in darkness and sin. He did not come bearing gifts but the gift of himself, undeserved, unexpected ( by most) and the whole scenario incomprehensible to many. When God gave His greatest gift to us, he gave Himself; His Son. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give in this Christmas season is ourselves to others who are in need. God made it personal, we can make it personal. God did not send a card, He sent a Son. His gift didn't help the economy of Bethlehem as he was delivered in a stable. 

We get upset when Christ is taken out of Christmas (Xmas). But perhaps this advent season we ought to think more deeply than that   at the amazing gift that was given by an amazing God and make that our focus rather than the commercial holiday it has come to be. Rather it is the event that changed everything for all time from that moment until eternity future.

For to us a child is born

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne

and over his kingdom

establishing and upholding it

with justice and righteousness

from that time on and forever.

The zeal of the Lord Almighty

will accomplish this.

(Isaiah 9:6-7)

Don't leave home without it!

No, it is not a credit card! It is a set of personal values that we have thought deeply about and are committed to and which inform all that we do - everyday. 


Either we determine a set of non-negotiables or guiding principles for our lives or we allow the prevailing values of our world to set them for us. Those values are the messages that we hear constantly from the media and from our fellow pilgrims, some good and some deeply flawed. The best values come from a deep understanding of God and His call on our lives. Defining them for ourselves gives us an internal compass that lived out daily keeps us focused, molds our character and commitments and influences those around us. They set the tone for our lives.


Recently one of my fellow ministry leaders shared his personal and leadership values with me that reflect the kind of thinking all of us should do. These are so ingrained in his life and thinking that they are the grid through which he does life and leadership. They are his true north!

Four Key Personal Values

I value total devotion to God; my chief aim is "to love God and enjoy Him forever."

(Phil. 1:21: Paul)

I value the truth; facing the truth about myself and, by God's grace, intercepting potential fatal flaws that might destroy my integrity.

(Psalm 51: David)

I value right priorities; being a godly husband, father, and friend.

(Proverbs 5:18-22, 18:22)

I value learning; maintaining a learning posture in all of life.

(Exodus 33:13: Moses)

Six Key Leadership Values

I value humility; being led by God before attempting to lead others.

(John 21:15-19: Peter)

I value mentoring; having men and women in my life to help shape my vision, values, and lifestyle as a leader. (Acts 9:27-28, 11:25-26: Barnabas)

I value leadership selection; that leaders are both born and made.

(I Ti 1:18-19, 4:7-8, 11-12, II Ti 2:2-3, 3:14-15: Timothy)

I value leadership development; the development of emerging leaders having great importance in my life and in the extension of the Kingdom.

(Exodus 17:9-14, Numbers 13, Deut. 1:38, 31:1-18: Joshua)

I value authenticity; pursuing honest and transparent relationships with the people I lead and who lead me.

(I Samuel 18:1-4, 20:1-42, 23:16-18: Jonathan)

I value perseverance; pressing on to finish well as a leader.

(Hebrews 12:2, II Ti 4:1-8: Paul)

"Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it.  Because he never lost sight of where he was headed - that exhilarating finish in and with God - he could put up with anything along the way:  cross, shame, whatever."

(Hebrews 12:2, The Message)

The more deeply we think about who God has called us to be and what is important to us the closer we will get to that goal. Leaders will also find that those they lead will take their cues about what matters from them. Thus their commitments, well defined and well lived out influence not only their lives but the lives of those they lead. All of us influence others but first we need to clarify our own values! As you think about the new year coming up, consider clarifying your values or guiding principles if you have not done so.

Unfriend it and End it: Progressive Relationships

Guest Writer
Michael Johnson

After almost 35 years of marriage, I am amazed that my wife has not unfriended me yet.   I have given her plenty of reason to do so.  She could just unfriend it and end it.

The electronic age has radically changed the ease of ignoring others, including an ever increasing rapidity of meltdown in relationships.  We are now able to completely dissolve relationships without even meeting people face to face.   We just delete them from our computer screens, our minds, and hearts.  That is efficiency!  That is progress.

I thank God that He does not work that way.  After 59 years of life, I have given Him plenty of reasons to unfriend it and end it.  But He does not work that way.  There is no body on God’s ‘I am not speaking to you’ list.  In fact, God just keeps on talking to me, even when I completely ignore Him.  

One way He makes sure to do this is He keeps waking me up in the morning, showering me with health and all of the necessities of life, including many of the gravy items.  This is where the wife comes in.  God has chosen to take up residence in my wife and use her to show His love for me in the many ways she forgives and forgets.  She refuses to unfriend and end.  So does God. 

Even though they both have good reason to unfriend me, they  refuse to do so, I  have given them even better ammunition moment by moment from the past to the present and even future.  But they don’t.   God does call me friend, and He refuses to end it.

John 15:15

Henceforth I CALL YOU not servants; for the servant knows not what his lord does: but I have called YOU friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Fear and Faith

Fear and faith are two sides of the same coin, the first driven by Satan and the second driven by the Holy Spirit. Our world is driven by fear: fear that we will not have enough, of illness, of losing our job, of people who intimidate us and the list could go on and on. Each of us has our vulnerabilities where we carry our own personal fears. Fear can keep us from stepping into all that God made us to be, can keep us from pressing into areas of our lives that need attention, and can cause us to to lie and bend the truth. Fear is the currency of our world and is the driving force behind much advertising (consider the ads for gold and silver).


In a twist of irony, much of our drive for more and more is driven by our fears that we will not have enough. However, the more we have the more we have to worry about losing. I am always sad when those who have plenty cannot let go of it out of fear that they won't have enough. They often live with more fear than those who have little.


In a radically different sense, faith is the currency of God's kingdom. Faith in God's ability to redeem, to provide, to deal with the fears we have and to provide for us our basic needs. The writer of Hebrews says that "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that the exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6)." All of the heroes of Hebrews 11 did what they did by faith. Faith that they could trust God, faith that they could follow God and faith in the sovereignty of God.


Think of a typical week. How many times during a week do we make unconscious choices between fear and worry (another word for fear) and faith? Our lives are full of those choices. In fact, think about this: Every worry or fear is a potential faith builder if we choose to simply pray and trust God in that situation. When we get to heaven we are going to be astonished when we think back about our petty worries in the face of the almighty God whose power is unlimited, love unrivaled and storehouse of provision so massive. 


Because faith is the currency of God's kingdom, our faith brings God's favor. Hebrews 11:6 above says that "he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...who by worrying can add a single hour to his life...So do not worry saying, what shall we eat? or what shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:25-34)."


The command "fear not," is the most often repeated command in Scripture. Faith is the currency of the kingdom. The almighty, sovereign God who owns the entire universe says to us, "Trust Me." I know your needs. "Trust Me." Try that with your current worries and remember that every fear and worry is an opportunity to grow your faith and trust. It is that faith and trust that gives us the peace of mind that God promises. It is a direct result of living in  faith rather than in fear. We make the choice. God calls us to faith.

Convincing the unconvincible

Frequently when working with church boards or wider ministry leadership groups there will be one gentleman sitting in the back of the room with his arms crossed, a hostile glare and no matter how much laughter there is in the room, never cracking a smile. He is saying loudly and non verbally, "You cannot convince me to change my mind." He is usually correct and I don't try.

What he illustrates is that there are people in every church or organization who will never be convinced to go where you desire to go. And, since leadership requires us to initiate change to respond to the environment and opportunities around us, you will always have people who don't want to respond if it means change. In fact, there is no conversation with them: their mind has been made up and that is that!

We have various names for people like this. On the change scale, they are called laggards. The scale moves from innovators who initiate change to early adapters who respond to change quickly to middle adapters who take some time to process the change to late adapters who take even longer and finally laggards who are change adverse. Another name for laggards is "squeaky wheels" because not only are they change adverse but they can be loud and obnoxious about it (ever met one in a congregational meeting?).

This is not a judge of character, a mistake we often make. People are wired to respond to change differently and that in itself is neither right or wrong although attitudes like the one noted above are not always very gracious or helpful.

What do you do with the unconvincible? Love them but don't try to convince them.  Rather you appeal to the people who will respond to change if given a valid reason and a value that is higher then their resistance to change. The unconvincible are unconvincible. It is the convincible who are your audience. Appeal to them and they will go with you if you make a reasonable case for the proposed change. 

In any change process, remember that the loud voices do not necessarily reflect the majority of the group. Often they represent a small minority of laggards but their voices can be intimidating. Don't be intimidated. Run a good process of dialogue and communication and if you will likely gain the majority of folks. In the process don't marginalize the laggards but recognize that their resistance to change usually comes from how they are wired, not bad character. In fact, if you love them, they will often be your most loyal supporters even when resistant to change. Listen to them, love them and stay connected to them relationally and they will usually love you back.

Our unlimited capacity for self-deception

Humans have an unlimited capacity to deceive themselves about themselves and others. Often that self deception is our personal spin control not only to make ourselves look better to others but even to ourselves. It can be conscious or unconscious.


Robert Trivers writes this in his new book, The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human life. "We deny the truth to ourselves. We project onto others traits that are in fact true of ourselves - and then attack them. We repress painful memories, create completely false ones, rationalize immoral behavior, act repeatedly to boost positive self-opinion, and show a suite of ego-defensive mechanisms (p. 2)."


In other words, we have an amazing capacity to subvert truth to fit our preferred version of reality. It is directly tied to the sinful human condition and reflective of the truth Paul made in Romans 3:10ff where he says "There is no one righteous, not even one;" and goes on to describe the fallen human condition.


Consider instances where you are trying to get to the bottom of a conflict. Explanations of individuals on both sides make logical sense at first blush. Both sides blame the other and exonerate themselves. Of course, both cannot be true and upon further examination it becomes clear that both parties have constructed a view of reality - and of the other party - that makes them look innocent and the other look guilty. Clearly there is spin, reconstruction of reality and self deception going on. All of us are capable and all of us deceive ourselves in some areas of our lives.


We have all met people who were self deceived and particularly in conflict situations I have a healthy skepticism of what I hear until I have heard all sides. It is easy to listen to one party whose explanation makes all the sense in the world and come to conclusions that are erroneous because of their ability to spin their version of truth. In conflict situations, always keep an open mind until you have heard from all sides. 


There are also people who literally live in an "alternative universe" and have such a skewed version of reality that they are disconnected from seeing how their own actions, attitudes and conclusions hurt other people. They may divide people into camps, those who are for them and those who are against them and fully believe that they are right in spite of any rational attempts to convince or show them otherwise. 


This is pathological in nature but it is also an extreme version of self deception. Attempts to help them see an alternative reality are often fruitless because their personal defense mechanisms of self-deception are so strong. Often it is hiding deep insecurities and the self-deception is a way of coping with and covering those insecurities or unresolved issues. Unfortunately, that self-deception is projected onto others who are often hurt in the equation.


The most important questions we can ask, however, is about where we deceive ourselves. Where do we construct personal rationalisms for behaviors, habits or sin in order to allow us to continue those unhealthy practices and still feel good about ourselves? Where do we stretch the truth, accomplishments, or righteousness in order to try to look better to other people? 


Why is this important? First, because truth matters and the more truth we understand about ourselves the healthier we are. Second, because self-deception unchecked leads to a life of untruth or lies which can become second nature if we allow it. Third, because our own self-deception is harmful to us and often harmful to others. 


God is a God of truth and we are easily deceived. It is why David prayed, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24). It is God who helps us understand the inclinations and deceptions of our own hearts as we develop the discipline of introspection and evaluation on our part. 

The otherness of God

God is our Father, abba. He is our friend. He is the One who is with us at all times (Emmanuel). He is our comforter, our counselor, and provider. He is personal as we learned in Jesus, approachable, and our help in times of trouble. Nothing can separate us from His presence and love. No situation is beyond His ability to intervene.

God's character is amazingly complex and beyond our ability to even start to comprehend. And one of the most challenging aspects of who He is is His holiness, His absolute otherness, His incomprehensible righteousness and goodness. So holy and righteous that Moses could not gaze on His face and after Moses spent time with God, his face glowed! 

We rightly focus on the personal nature of our relationship with God as He made Himself approachable and understandable in Jesus. But we would do well to reflect regularly on His Holiness, greatness and otherness because it puts in perspective our own desperate need for Him and the greatness of our God compared to us.


The book of Job is instructive. Job and his friends wax eloquent on God, his character and purposes - some of it true, some of it badly flawed - sure that they understood Him and could speak on His behalf. But all of that "wisdom" is put into its proper perspective when God chooses to speak. His first words put in perspective the difference between God and man: "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words of knowledge?" (Job 38:1-2) and proceeds to ask a series of questions that leave Job mute until the Lord is finished. All Job can say in return is "I know that you can do all things; no plans of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things to wonderful for me to know' (Job 42:2-3)." 


What Job is humbly and abjectly acknowledging is that he knows so little compared to God. Our understanding and wisdom is so massively finite while His is so majestically infinite! As someone has rightly said, "There is a God and He is not us!"


The chapter I often visit to remind me of God's greatness is Isaiah 40. "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal? says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing (Isaiah 40:25-26)."


Why does the greatness of God matter? The better I understand His greatness and holiness the more profound my humble worship. The more I understand His sovereignty over the affairs of history the more I can trust Him in my journey. The greater my understanding of Him, the more I understand the smallness of me. The greater I understand the smallness of me, the more I understand my need for Him. The more I comprehend his holiness the more I understand my sinfulness and the amazing grace He has given me. 


Understanding God's greatness changes everything! And that is when the fact that He has made us family becomes so amazingly profound. 

Missions and child protection

The Pen State scandal and the recent issues faced by New Tribes Mission remind us of the critical importance of ensuring that ministries do everything they can to protect the minor children under their care. Many churches in the United States have a way of vetting  those who work with children but mission organizations may not always be aware of their liability with short term teams coming out, or with their own staff.


For example, orphanages or kids ministries in the majority world can be targets of opportunity for pedophiles as they know that there may be less scrutiny than in the west. In addition, in any given year, tens of thousands of kids and adults from churches in the US go abroad to work with children internationally. The question is whether mission agencies take appropriate measures with those who will have contact with children on those trips.


Suggestions:
One, require a background check such as a local church would do for those who will be working overseas with minors - either missionary kids or local children.


Two, before the event, train the adults and children involved in the procedures you have in place to prevent any abuse or opportunities for abuse. Most local churches have such procedures in place that you can borrow from. A best practice would be a mission wide procedure for training those working with minors.


Three, have a zero tolerance policy for mission staff or those working as volunteers. If an incident occurs, report it immediately to both the immediate supervisor and a senior leader. The reason you report it to both a senior leader and the immediate supervisor is to ensure that it is not covered up. If it involves a short term team member, that member should immediately be flown home. If an allegation is made against someone on staff, they must immediately be removed from all contact with minors and if proven they should be removed from the mission. Pedophiles are highly likely to re-offend and no ministry can take that chance. In addition, ensure that the intake process for full time missionaries includes testing for personality disorders and pathology. Tests like the MMPI can save you a lot of pain by keeping the wrong people from going to the field in the first place.


Four, never cover up an offence of pedophilia. The greatest tragedy of the New Tribes episode is that they chose to protect offenders, even leaving them in place or transferring them to other schools. Even those they called home were not held accountable. This allowed, like it appears at Penn State, for the abuse to continue. Protecting the abuser virtually guarantees further victims.


Five, take responsibility for helping a victim get help. The victim is not the individual who offended but the individual they violated. It is amazing to me that in both ministry and places like Penn State there was a greater protection of the violator than the victim. This is a huge violation of trust - as New Tribes discovered and Penn State will discover. Hold the accuser responsible, don't cover up and do all you can to get the victim help.


Minor children must be protected in every way we can from those who would abuse them and cause them a lifetime of emotional trauma. Does your mission have safeguards in place?

Who is rich?

There is a lot of discussion among politicians about the rich today. Of course no one seems to know how to define who is rich and who is not. Usually those who have more than us are rich and we are not. And there is always someone who has more. As I suggested in yesterday's blog, in a consumer society we start to believe the messages we are constantly bombarded with that wealth is the secret to satisfaction and happiness. I actually agree that wealth is a secret to happiness - it is all in the definition of wealth. 


As an aside, 91% of our world lives on $10,000 a year or less and 54% of our world lives on $3.00 a day or less. So that puts wealth in perspective for most of us. By that definition I am wealthy - and so are most of my readers.


Financial wealth is nice but it won't bring happiness. Dollars are not the true definition of wealth. If it were true, only wealthy individuals would be happy and the more they have the happier they would be. We all know that is not the case. For many there is an inverse correlation between financial wealth and happiness precisely because the expectations that financial wealth can deliver satisfaction is an empty promise.


Want to get truly wealthy? I do! The Apostle Paul actually tells us how. He tells us "to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to generous and willing to share (1 Timothy 6:18)." In other words, give yourselves away, give your time and energy away and generously share what He has given us with others.


The result? "In this way (we) lay up treasure for (ourselves) as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that (we) may take hold of the life that is truly life (1 Timothy 6:19)." Here is the irony, in giving ourselves away and in being generous we not only put deposits into our future life in heaven but we "take hold of life that is truly life" in this life. 


Both Solomon and Paul tell us that God "richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17)." But enjoying what God has given does not take place when we hold on to it but when we are generous with it. And generosity can happen if we make $10,000 a year or ten million a year. It is not how much we have but it is what we do with what we have.


In politics today it is popular to tell the millionaires and billionaires that they should be more generous. In the Kingdom, God asks all of us to be generous. And ironically, the more generous we are the more we actually enjoy the provision God gives us. Good deeds, generosity and a willingness to share is life giving to us, while holding on to it is life taking and draining. It also stores us treasures in heaven where we will spend eternity rather than 80 plus years. Which bank account makes more sense?

A singular question

We live in an economic system that thrives by convincing us that we do not have enough, need better, need more, need new. With Thanksgiving upcoming we enter into the most intense (insane?) season where all the forces are designed to convince us that the glitter of those gifts will make us happier, more fulfilled and somehow more productive and effective (aah, my technology).


Here is the question! Am I content with what God has given to me today? Are you content with what God has given you today? Or, do we believe that his provision today is inadequate? In which case, we are suggesting that God does not give us our "daily bread."


Contrast our inner struggles (most of us have them) about whether we have enough with Paul's attitude. "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13)."


What was Paul's secret? Why could he be content in whatever situation he found himself in? Is it possible for you and I in a day when more and better screams at us everywhere we go. Where someone else always has more than us?


I think the secret is found earlier in this passage where Paul says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)."


Paul's secret is not that he has all he may want. His secret is that he can present his requests to God who can and will meet his needs. And in sharing those needs with God, he could live with a peace that transcends anything our world could ever understand about contentedness and satisfaction because it is divinely given. Paul had needs as we have needs. He probably had desires as we have desires. But his attitude of thanksgiving for what God had given and the ability to share his needs with God gave him a peace that transcends all understanding. Thus his contentedness - in whatever circumstance he found himself.


There is no better time to grow our thanksgiving and peace and contentedness than in the Christmas season. Are you and I content today? It is a great gift to live with divine contentedness.

Living well and dying well

This morning I received news that a good friend of mine and a ministry leader in Chicago had passed into the arms of Jesus on Saturday night. His had been a hard battle with colon cancer over the past several years and he died in the loving arms of his wife, his hand being held by his daughter. 


Glen lived well! He had given his life to the urban poor and racial reconciliation for decades, being on the forefront of that hard work before the church in the United States was engaged. He and his family walked the walk as they lived in the neighborhood in which they worked. As a white leader, he teamed with an African American leader to forge a new way of thinking about what it meant for whites and blacks to work and worship together for Jesus in the days after the race riots in Chicago, a ministry that continues to this day. In every way, Glen lived well.


It was not an easy walk, including the death of his adopted son in recent years and numerous challenges that come when one is pressing into Satan's territory. Through it all, Glen displayed a kind demeanor, a deep sense of calling and a tenacity that touched all around him. Glen had a theology of life and ministry which He lived out so very well. Glen never became angry with God even when treatments made life incredibly difficult and his energies depleted. He continued to do what he could and spent time with family and friends even welcoming them when he was at home in hospice.


But Glen also had an understanding of death. He fought his diagnosis with all that he had for the sake of his family and ministry but determined that if this was his time that he would die well - and he did. He understood that life is not all there is, and that in fact, the best was yet to come and once he went on hospice he turned his eyes toward his next chapter and died in peace and dignity. 


I spoke to a group of Parish Nurses on Saturday who often minister to those who are dying and they reflected on the difference between the deaths of believers as against non-believers. How peaceful and even holy the moment is when believers take the step into eternal life compared to non-believers. 


Having been on the brink of death on several occasions I know a bit of the inner struggle - but I am determined to live well and to also die well. We live by faith and we die by faith. We neither overestimate the value of this life or underestimate the value of life with Jesus. For those of us in the second half it is something to think about. I look at many who have gone before me and am determined that I too want to die well when the time comes, full of gratitude for the life God has given, full of faith in a loving Father and full of anticipation of finally looking into the eyes of the one who made my life what it was - Jesus.


Let's leave a faithful legacy in life, and in how we face death, as all of us do and where the ultimate test of our faith is tested.

Driven leaders and their staff

One of the chief distinguishing marks of Jesus was his care, love, concern and compassion for people. His ministry was all about people. He always made time for the hurting and troubled and disenfranchised. He came to this planet to seek and to save....people.


It is possible for leaders to become so driven by their mission that they miss the people part! In fact, some leaders are users of people to accomplish their own ends and drive their mission forward at the expense of those who work for them. I know of a well known church, for example that sees massive turnover of its large staff regularly because of the lack of compassion and drivenness of the leader that negatively impacts the very people that support the ministry. His driven nature and success at all costs mentality leaves no room for anyone who does not live up to his standards.


The problem is that it is about the standards and vision and direction of the leader alone rather than a team that works together to accomplish the mission. Leaders who abuse in their drivenness have not developed a team mentality. They are the sheriff rather than the coach.


Driven leaders often hurt people because their focus is so much on success (whatever their definition) that they see those working for them as a means to that success rather than fellow colleagues on a journey of ministry together toward a common goal. It is really about their goal not a common goal. Any time we begin to use people toward our ends we have violated them and have moved away from the example of Christ. 


Leaders must always lead and part of that leadership is encouraging their staff to be all that they can be and to maximize the gifting God has given them. Ironically, when leaders put people before mission, the mission is more effectively accomplished because staff are empowered, released and motivated. When the mission comes before the people who must accomplish it, people are often violated in the process.


Healthy leaders put people first. They create healthy teams of empowered individuals who together figure out how to tackle the mission and accomplish the goals of the ministry. It is about us, not me!