Before you send that email, think about these five things

 I just saw an email that caused me to say, "Oh my!" and it reminded me of the dangers that emails present. I suspect that if it could be recalled, it would be, but that is not possible, and now it is being circulated to places and people the author probably does not desire.

Five things to remember about all emails we send:

First: Do not assume they will not be made public. The more controversial the conversation, the greater the chances there are that whatever you write will find its way into the hands of others. All it takes is one click. Do not write anything that you don't want others to see and that you cannot substantiate. Our tone, our words, our attitudes, and our assumptions matter in print, and they can easily be wrong or badly misunderstood.

Second: Do not question the motives of others. In the first place, you may well be wrong. In the main, we cannot know what those motives really are. Conversations may unearth them, but emails rarely will, and you run the risk that you have it wrong - but now in print.

Third: Do not make accusations you cannot prove, and even if you can, that will not be understood by others who might read the email. Emails are not the place to make accusations. I am reluctant to do so in person, let alone by email. And remember that even if you are right, those who are friends of the one you are writing to will rarely agree with you, and it probably will come back to bite you. Why pick fights that you don't need to pick?

Fourth: Do not use inflammatory language. The harsher the language, the tougher it is going to be to resolve whatever issue needs resolution. Inflammatory language raises the level of conflict, can be accusatory by its very nature, and is unnecessary in an email. Even if everything you say is true, third parties who may see the email will inevitably take exception to you and what you wrote - and you will lose coinage.

Five: Don't make a threat by email. There may be consequences to someone's actions, but rarely is it helpful to threaten them in a way that could go public or that will be misunderstood by third parties.

If one is tempted to send an email that violates any of these five principles, it is a smart practice to first wait 24 hours before sending it and second to have a colleague you trust read it. If it has implications for your organization or ministry, show it to your supervisor before sending it because if it comes back to haunt you, it will also haunt them. 

A Story Stranger than Fiction: The Christmas Story

 

No story is better known. No story better captures the heart of a child - small or grown - than the one we celebrate today. No matter how many times we hear the story, it never grows old, it never disappoints, never ceases to evoke deep emotions of wonder, awe and comfort. An angel’s proclamation to illiterate shepherds, a teenage unwed mother, a loyal carpenter fiance, the evil king Herod, a cold, clear, Bethlehem night without a place to stay. A messy birth in an animal’s stall, alongside a dirty alley in the dark of night. Confused cows watching unknowing as the Son of the universe stares back unknowing at the very animals He had created eons before. A mother, a child, a carpenter, a few agitated animals and the pungent smell of manure.

This is a story so absurd that it could only have been scripted by a Divine hand. No other writer would have attempted such a script. If they had they would not have claimed it to be true: fiction maybe, but not reality. This is not how the One whose voice had echoed off of a billion galaxies would make His entrance. Without CNN and Fox News, into a hovel known affectionately today as Bethlehem but then nothing more than a tiny village on the path to Jerusalem. 

His entrance was marked not by a proclamation to kings but to astonished herdsmen sleeping with sheep. The heavens opened with ten thousand voices – not over Jerusalem the ancient capital – but over a tiny grazing field for a handful of insignificant shepherds. They would be the only witnesses of the grand entrance of a King. No other writer would have written such a script. 

No other author would have taken such a chance. For behind this story there are echoes of another story - equally incredulous. Centuries before in the vastness of eternity past – when infinity kissed infinity, The Master of Infinity spoke into being the universe in which we live - 3,000 of whose stars are visible to the careful eye, 30 billion visible from a large telescope, - the other 90% of the universe still hidden from our eyes. Its splendor an eternal testimony to the Author of the story.

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,

In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,

Most blessed, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,

Almighty, victorious, Thy great name we praise.

Great Father of glory, pure Father of light,

Thine angels adore thee, all veiling their sight;

All praise we would render: O help us to see

Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee.

(Walter Chalmers Smith)

The Author’s heart was restless still, lonely in His perfection. A heart full of love is not easily satisfied. Transcendent goodness longed to give away infinite love. Again the Author spoke: A planet was expertly crafted. One among billions. A people wonderfully created – in the image of the Author. Free to love, free to experience the infinite goodness of the Author. Free to revel in His infinite Love. But above all free. Love cannot be forced and remain love.

We are not the sole owners of broken hearts. No heart suffered such sorrow as Infinite Love rejected. Image bearers rejected the Image Maker. The story’s characters fired the Author to write their own script. Unmatched, searing pain pierced the Author’s heart as the loved jilted the Lover. 

Chaos infiltrated beauty. A planet was hijacked and spun out of control. Poverty of spirit supplanted endless joy. Unfulfilled hearts realized the pain of lost love. Without the Author, individual story lines faltered – and failed. Sadness reigned. Darkness descended in seeming endless gloom.

Truth can be stranger than fiction. For in the pained heavens the grieving Author plotted love’s revenge. An awesome revenge that only Divinity could contrive – that only Divinity would contrive. Having lost His loved, the Lover would send His most loved to reclaim His heart’s desire. The rejected Creator would kiss the unfaithful created. Tender mercy in place of deserved destruction. An astonished heaven broke into unbelieving applause. Image bearers would be reclaimed by the Image Maker. Light would once again prevail over darkness. Brokenness would be made whole. Peace would triumph over chaos.

All was silent in the heavens on the chosen night. Angels held their corporate breath. For nine months the Son had been absent, resident in a young girls womb, coming to us not as a king but incognito, just one of thousands of children that would be born on a lonely planet that night – into the darkness that our word had become. Placenta covered the Son of the universe arriving to claim back His beloved: this time, one by one, heart by heart. Tender mercy arriving in disguise: one of us, one like us. On that night, the Author personally entered our story. 

Such humility our world has never known. A stunning reversal for a world gone astray. A Heart full of love is not easily satisfied. Transcendent goodness longing to give away infinite love, arriving under cover of night in order to “shine on those living in darkness…to guide our feet into the path of peace.” (Luke 1:27).

When an author writes, each character is unique; each has his or her own storyline. We, each have a story – unique, unrepeated, singular. Each story has its own joy, its own pain, its own pathos and unmatched quality. But each shares one singular, astonishing feature. We are made in the Author’s image, and He will not rest until we have invited Him to join in our story. 

More astonishing than the script He has authored, the story we celebrate today is that He also wants to enter into your story. This is the most ancient of stories but it is also the most contemporary of stories. The Christmas story is but one chapter in the Author’s divine script. The Author is still writing. And every person who invites Him into their story becomes a separate and unique chapter in His unfinished book. And into each story He brings His light and peace.

 “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” (John 3:16-17.)

Have you invited Him into your story?

Five ways that living in grace impacts our leadership and relationships

 

There are few issues more important to us personally or in our leadership than a proper understanding of grace. Our understanding, or lack of it, has significant implications for how we lead and how we respond and interact with others. It is one of those areas where theology and practice intersect in important ways.

First, leaders who understand and live in grace do not have a need to prove anything to God or to others. If I live in grace, I do not need to worry about being wrong, nor do I need to live with defensiveness. Many leaders in the Christian arena are more about proving they can be successful than they are about serving Jesus. Grace frees us from the need to prove anything to God or others and, therefore, allows us to live in freedom.

Second, leaders who understand and live in grace don't need to seek perfection, which is really all about proving something to others. They can rest in the fact that God is in control, and while we do the best we can, we can leave the results to God. We sow and water, but only God can bring the harvest. Without grace, leaders feel they need to produce results. Living in grace allows us to rest in Him, do the right things, and trust Him for transformational results.

Third, leaders who understand and live in grace are able to extend grace and understanding to their staff. This is not an excuse for allowing shoddy work. It is a posture of wanting the very best for others and extending the same grace that Jesus extends to us. Harsh leaders simply don't understand grace. Think of the Fruit of the Spirit, and you get the picture of what grace looks like in relationships. 

Fourth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures in their teams and organizations of grace. The culture of an organization is often a direct reflection of the leader's own spiritual and emotional health. Legalistic or harsh cultures simply reflect the ethos of their leadership. Where a leader understands and lives in grace, he/she creates that culture in the organization.

Fifth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures where there is no fear of candid dialogue and diverse opinions because grace allows us to live with a Nothing to Prove and Nothing to Lose attitude. Without defensiveness, we can invite honest dialogue, deal with elephants, and create a culture of grace and truth. Where that is not the case, I would argue that the leader (and or staff) are not living in grace.

I would guess there are many other implications of a life of grace. What I do know is that leaders who understand and live in grace create healthy cultures, and those who don't won't.

How organizations can inadvertently compromise the quality of their service

 

Almost every organization I have worked with would  say that they are committed to quality work internally and quality services externally but often the reality does not live up to the goal. This is particularly true among non-profits but it is not only resident there. Often it is the result of several overlooked factors that inadvertently compromise the quality of their work.

One of the first things that comes to mind is that of poor hiring methods. When we hire without doing do diligence to the qualifications of the applicant or the skill fit we often end up paying a steep price later. There is an adage that says "hire slow and fire fast" and it has great merit to it. Many organizations don't realize the bottom line impact poor hires have on them. First, unqualified individuals do not make the organization look good. Second, it takes more unqualified individuals to get the job done than one highly qualified individual. Thus there is both a financial and service quality variable in our hiring practices.

In addition when we choose to compensate below the fair market value of a job we drastically reduce the number of qualified candidates who will consider working for us. Here is the irony.  We end up hiring more individuals to do a job than we need because we got what we were willing to pay for. So in an attempt to save money in salaries we actually spend more money than we needed to. This is particularly true with churches and Christian non-profits but it can be found in the for profit sector as well.

Another common mistake is to pay too little attention to the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) of those we hire. Even highly competent individuals can hurt the organization if they exhibit poor EQ. They can hurt others on the team internally and create issues with customers externally. Considerable attention ought to be given to the issue of an individual's EQ in the hiring process as well as in ongoing education in this area. For more on Emotional Intelligence see "Signs of good and bad EQ."

Finally, in the desire to save money, some organizations do not provide the necessary tools to staff to get their job done efficiently. This can be training, technology and software or the necessary ongoing mentoring. It is unfortunate that the investment already made in these staff is lost when they either choose to leave or cannot fulfill their job with excellence because of the neglect of their supervisor.

None of these actions are meant to hurt the quality of an organizations work but all do so inadvertently. My philosophy has always been to hire slow and well, pay competitively, give staff the tools they need and have as few staff as necessary. You can do that with the right staff.

Finding a place of serenity and peace in a crazy busy and pressured world

 Our world can be characterized by out-of-control schedules, lack of rest, frenetic activity, and little margin. Yet our hearts long for peace and serenity. We cannot change the frenetic pace of our world, but we can choose to live in peace and serenity ourselves. Here are eight practices that can lead to a life of greater serenity.

1. Places of refuge. These are places where our hearts feel at peace and where we can slow down. For me, it includes a study in my home that has no television, is filled with books, and a comfortable couch. Whenever I enter, I feel a special peace come over me because it is a place of peace. It may also be a stream where I can fly fish in solitude. For all of us, it will be different, but identifying those places of refuge that we can go to regularly will help us negotiate what is otherwise a busy existence.

2. Time with Jesus. Out-of-control schedules or even the typical challenges of our lives lead to anxiety and personal stress. The best place to leave our anxiety and stress is with Jesus, who told us that he can bring peace to our souls. Who does not long for peace? Psalm 23 says, "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." It is a picture of rest, quietness, peace - in the presence of God. But none of that happens in frenetic activity. Only in quietness and time with Him.

3. Quiet reflection. The art of quiet reflection is time without distractions to think deeply about our lives, God, or situations we face. Reflection demands times of peace and quiet: Television off; radio silenced; cell phone muted - maybe soothing music on. I write this blog in the peace and quiet of an early morning, one of my favorite times to reflect and think.

4. Special friends. I am thinking here of friends who bring peace and joy to our lives and fill us emotionally. This is not your average friend. Many friends are needy and drain us. There is a time for those friends, but not when we are needing peace and serenity. These are friends who encourage us, accept us, love us, and allow us to be who we are in their presence without pretense or expectations. Too often, in our busyness, we do not nurture the most important friends who can bring peace to our lives.

5. Good books. Well-chosen books can help us relax, reflect and grow. It is why my personal place of refuge is lined with them. One need not be a prodigious reader for this to be the case. Even a few pages or a short chapter can stimulate our thinking and reflection. Books help us stretch our minds and offer perspectives of others that can change our own perspectives.

6. A journal. Journaling is a practice that can bring greater peace and serenity to our lives. It allows us to record insights we gain in our times of reflection. The simple act of writing those insights down dramatically increases our retention of them. It allows us to have a record of our personal growth. It allows us to be more reflective in our prayer lives as we write out our prayers from time to time. It forces us to think more clearly and reflect more deeply. It is worth the effort even if we are not naturally writers.

7. Interludes of prayer. These are times during the day when we intentionally reconnect with Jesus in prayer. For instance, my cell phone alerts me on the hour, every hour during the day. When it does, I silently engage Jesus about whatever I am working on or the meeting I am in. It reminds me to be present with Jesus, it reminds me to check in with Him, and it reminds me to bring the events of my day to Him. They are hourly check-ins with the only one that can ultimately bring me peace of heart and soul.

8. Learning to be present. How often do you find yourself mulling on a problem or anxiety when you should be concentrating on a conversation, a work project, or playing with your kids? Being present means that we are mindful of what we are doing at the moment and truly focused on that rather than focusing on other things that distract us from being present in the moment. Being present means that we are fully "there" in whatever we are doing. It also prevents us from being "elsewhere," which is usually a problem or challenge that we should have left with Christ rather than carrying it around with us. The hourly reminder from my cell phone not only reminds me to check in with God but to check in with myself to see if I am present in the moment.

A life of peace and serenity does not happen by itself but comes from healthy practices in our lives. It is a beautiful place to live and something that we can grow in regularly.

It is counterintuitive but Covid may be a blessing for the spread of the Gospel

 

I have a firm conviction that nothing happens in our world, good or bad, which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build His church. History is full of examples of adversity that become accelerators to the advancement of the gospel. In fact, it is often in the face of difficult challenges that the church shows itself to be the most resilient.

The age of Covid has been difficult and presented many unwelcome challenges. But, there may be some hidden blessings for both the church and the spread of the gospel. Ironically, as infectious as Covid is, the gospel is even more infectious and both are impacting our world, one for sorrow and the other for joy.

First, Covid has disrupted almost all of ministry. In doing so it has also caused Christian leaders to rethink what is truly important and how they can adapt and focus on what God has called the church to do and to be. There is no disruption that does not create opportunity to rethink, recalibrate and refocus.

For too long we have focused on church size and programs more perhaps than on discipleship and the involvement of each one in ministry according to their God given gifting. We have assumed that church attendance equaled spiritual maturity. 

One thing we can be certain of. The church will never go back to where it was pre-Covid. It just won't. Many have decided they don't need church for their spiritual lives. Others will simply do church on-line. This creates an opportunity for us to rethink what we are doing and why. That is a gift although perhaps an unwelcome one.

Second, digital ministry has the potential to be one of the most potent forces for the gospel in the years to come. The church was forced into digital formats by Covid. Many churches have come to the conclusion that the digital format is not simply a way to reach their own people but to reach beyond their four walls and reach a world that does not know Jesus. Rather than fighting the change, many churches are embracing this change and see it as a significant opportunity to share the gospel with those who don't know.

In fact, when we talk about the gospel being preached to all people before the return of Christ, this is exactly what is happening. Recently I had opportunity to interact with the founder and leader of CCF (Christ's Commission Fellowship) in the Philippines a huge ministry of house churches and mall based congregations. They are now reaching people at an unprecedented level via digital content across the globe and incorporating many into digital fellowships for discipleship. They have embraced this opportunity with enthusiasm and it will be a part of their strategic vision ongoing.

One of the realities in our world is that fewer and fewer people are coming to church out of spiritual curiosity. But almost all are online so is it possible that in God's sovereign plan, the church was forced to go online in an unprecedented way allowing the Good News to multiply in exponential ways? I fully believe this to be the case. It is also the case that in many cases, those who experience an online service will find their way into a local congregation as is happening with the church I attend, Forest City Church in Rockford and Elgin, IL. Look up Tiny Church on You Tube. 

We didn't ask for or desire Covid. But  nothing happens in our world, good or bad, which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build His church. He is doing that today - as He always has. 

The most amazingly Jesus like attitude I have seen in a very long time

 

We live in a deeply divided world where Jesus and the Gospel take second place to our attitudes, politics, friendships and life perspectives. It should be the other way around. Here from the heart of a young woman we see the Jesus perspective that our society and our church so often lacks. It is profound and it can be life changing. Watch this 90 second statement that says more than most of us have said in a lifetime.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1469120871004577797

Attitudes that suck organizational life from boards, teams and organizations

Attitudes are critical to the health or lack of health in any organization, board, team or workplace. I want to suggest that there are four attitudes or behaviors that will suck the life from any team and which should be illegal in the workplace. At least in any workplace that has a commitment to health. 

One: Cynicism instead of optimism

There are among us professional skeptics who see most of life (apart from what they do) from a cynical or skeptical lens. They distrust leaders, often scoff at new ideas, have doubts about most things they are told, live with suspicion of those in authority and generally come at things from a place of negativity.

Cynicism is often hidden in sarcasm, subtle digs at others, attempts to criticize others and their efforts and an attitude that nothing you do is good enough for them. None of these attitudes are designed to build others up but to tear them down. In other words, they are organizational wreckers rather than organizational builders.

I remember a time when I was taking an organization through major change. There were those who said my proposals were simply the flavor of the month and therefore were to be ignored. Others said, "You can do what you want to do TJ but don't expect me to do anything different." Then there were those who took shots from the sidelines and saw all proposed changes through a lens of cynicism, suspicion and negativity. 

In this process, I learned several things. First, such cynicism needed to be directly challenged. It is poison and destructive and kills the health of an organization or a team. The health of an organization is what you create or allow. Allowing these kinds of overt attitudes is to ignore their threat to the whole. Whenever I encountered it, I directly addressed it. Sometimes people got it and changed. Sometimes they didn't and needed to be sidelined so they didn't cause damage. Sometimes they had to be let go. Second, I learned that no leader in the organization could be a cynic and we had a number of those. They needed to be traded out because cynics are not leaders. They are destroyers. 

Great teams and organizations are built on by optimists. Not blind optimists but those who see and call people to a higher level of commitment, innovation, civility and results. They utterly reject cynical attitudes for the poison that they are. 

Two: Pessimism rather than optimism

Pessimism describes the state of mind of someone who always expects the worst. A pessimistic attitude isn't hopeful, shows little optimism, and can be a major downer for everyone else. To be pessimistic means that you believe evil outweighs the good and that bad things are more likely to happen. Someone has aptly said that pessimists find a problem for every solution.

Jesus was no pessimist. He believed that people could change, that heaven could be brought to earth (Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven), that the impossible could be accomplished through His power, that people could be healed and obstacles overcome by faith and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Never (ever) allow a pessimist to serve on your board or in leadership of your organization. They will kill the good that God wants to do because they fundamentally don't believe that it can be done at all. 

Three: Authoritarianism instead of listening and coming to shared decisions

Authoritarianism has its roots in pride rather than in humility. It has a fundamental lack of concern for the wishes, ideas or opinions of others and as such lacks empathy, respect, kindness and the willingness to listen carefully. It is not about team but about me. It is not about dialogue but about telling. 

If you have ever worked for an authoritarian leader, you know how frustrating it can be and how disrespectful it can feel. Authoritarian leaders don't build up or lead from a place of respect for others. In fact, they are quite sure they are right and that you need to comply with their wishes. In fact, leaders who are authoritarian invite cynicism. Their poor EQ solicits equally poor responses.

People who listen well and are willing to come to shared decisions earn great respect from their teams. Those who don't, don't! Relationship comes from dialogue, conversation and listening and relationship is the key to leadership success. 

Four: Judging motives instead of assuming the best

Here is a fascinating truth. You and I always assume that our motives are good and pure and yet we often assume that the motives of others are not. That in itself ought to be enough to indicate that we live with fallen natures. Why do we do this? Essentially we choose to think more highly of ourselves and our motives than we do of others and their motives. Yet, my own experience is that when I judge the motive of others I am almost always wrong. Almost always!

Why is this so destructive? First, because when we judge the motives of others we see them from a lesser perspective. We have already come to the conclusion that they don't deserve our full respect or trust. Second, the moment that this happens, we communicate those attitudes about that individual to others. It may be unconscious but it happens. Thus we hurt them in our eyes and then we hurt them in the eyes of others. If your own motives have ever been judged wrongly you know exactly what I am saying. Judging motives destroys trust and trust is the coinage of good relationships.

Instead of judging motives or assuming a negative intent, what about having a conversation. Most of the time you will walk away with a better understanding and glad that  you didn't simply make assumptions.

Be candid with your staff and board that these kinds of attitudes are off limits if you want to have a healthy staff, group or organization. Each of the toxic attitudes above has an alternative to it. If we move from the toxic to its healthy alternative we can move the dial in relationships and organizational health.

The Chaos caused by insecure leaders

 In my consulting with troubled churches and ministry organizations I often encounter the chaos that is created by the insecurities of the senior leader. Those of us who lead anything - a team, a church, an organization or in business owe it to our staff to lead from a place of personal security rather than from insecurity. Here are the key issues that are signs of a leader's insecurity. If they pertain to you, pay attention to them. If you are a board member of an organization and these are represented by your senior leader - please get them help. They are destructive and harmful to those around them.

1. When a leader is defensive and resists feedback he is operating out of insecurity. Secure leaders invite feedback even when they may not agree with it and they are not defensive. In fact secure leaders go to great lengths to know what their staff is thinking, to interact with them and to keep themselves from shutting down discussion out of defensiveness. Personal defensiveness and healthy leadership are incompatible.

2. When a leader tells staff that they cannot talk to board members or other about issues or ideas they are operating from a position of insecurity. Secure leaders welcome dialogue and do not put gag orders on their staff. Of course once a team has decided a course of action they should all support it. But gag orders come from leader who know that there is not support from their staff and want to hide it from others rather than resolve it. One of the marks of unhealthy church staff teams is the notion that staff cannot share their opinions or thoughts with others. Inevitably this is a culture that will blow up badly in the end. It is a true sign of leader insecurity.

3. When a leader sees "loyalty" as meaning you must agree with me you have an arrogant or insecure leader. It implies that personal loyalty is more important than loyalty to the mission and well being of the organization. That is a terrible assumption and it comes out of dysfunctional leadership. It also implies that staff are simply there to do the bidding of the leader rather than to make a real contribution to the mission and strategy. Healthy leaders want staff who are loyal to the cause and respectful to one another.

4. When a leader regularly uses their "positional authority" to push people in a certain direction or get their assent you have an insecure leader. Staff who regularly feel pressure to conform to the opinion or decisions of a leader and who have not been invited into discussions where they are stakeholders should recognize that they are dealing with dysfunction rather than health. All leaders use positional authority in certain but usually fairly rare circumstances. Those who use it regularly are saying, "I am in charge and you will do what I say."

5. When people are publicly called out by a leader you are dealing with an insecure leader who is using the public "calling out" as a power play to put others in line. It violates the dictum that we praise in public and deal with disciplinary issues in private. The very leaders who do this would never allow themselves to be called out in public. It is plain intimidation and unhealthy and it says more about the leader than the staff member.

6. When a leader must have their own way on a regular basis you have an insecure leader. Secure leaders want what is best for the organization not their own way. Healthy leaders regularly modify their agendas and strategies in dialogue with their staff. Life is not about getting our own way but about accomplishing a common mission. The "my way or the highway" is an adolescent character trait rather than the trait of a mature leader.

7. When a leader takes credit for the success of others who made the organization look good you have an insecure leader. Secure leaders do not need the spotlight and they do not seek it. In fact, they go out of their way to give credit away rather than to keep it themselves. They know that success comes from a team, not any one individual and they acknowledge that regularly.

8. When a leader regularly puts others down you have an insecure leader. Usually they are putting others down in order to build themselves up. Healthy leaders keep their own counsel on others and do not share negative information about others with others.

This is all about having a healthy self image and good EQ. When that is not there we end up hurting others in ways that may take years to undo. If any of these characteristics represent you as a leader take note and work to correct the damage and your leadership style. 

Are you leading from positional authority or influence?

 

We are trained to believe that positional authority is necessary if we are going to have influence. In fact, we usually believe that influence and positional authority are one and the same or must both be present in order to be successful in ministry (or other venues).

I beg to differ. I have written previously that the best influence is from our lives and not from our position. If we believe that positional authority and influence are one and the same, what do we do with someone like Barnabas, whose influence made Paul what he became - and who probably had little or no positional authority. Or think of the average lay individual who has a huge influence on many people without any positional influence. 

Certainly, in missions, influence is far more important than authority. In fact, in most ministry situations, our position allows us to possibly tell others what to do (often not a good way to do leadership), but non-staff or those around us don't particularly care about our position. What they do care about is whether we have the heart to help and serve them. Furthermore, people don't listen carefully to those they don't respect, and respect comes from the quality of our lives rather than the position we hold.

Relying for influence on our positional authority is a big mistake because we can be badly mistaken that our position gave us influence when, in fact, it may or may not. Influence comes from healthy spiritual, relational, and emotional intelligence. It also comes from a kingdom heart that desires to serve others more than it desires to serve ourselves. 

It is the way of Jesus, who had no worldly positional power. Nor did it seem to bother him. His self-image was not wrapped up in position but rather gave up his position to have influence with those who deserved none of it (Philippians 2). 

It is easy to chase the wrong prize in life. Chasing positional authority for its sake is not a worthy prize. Investing our lives to bring influence for Jesus is the ultimate worthy endeavor. 

I often ask people who was the most important person in the New Testament outside of the Gospels. The answer is almost always Paul. Personally, I wonder if it is Barnabas who came alongside Paul when no one else would, loved him, believed him, and invested in him. It was all about influence, and it produced (in God's Spirit and providence) the greatest leader in the early church - at least in the spread of Christianity and the clarity of theology.

This ought to be a great encouragement to all who don't have positional authority in their lives and ministries. The good news is that our influence is far more important than our position, and we can have influence from any place God has put us. In many churches, for instance, the people of greatest influence have no authority. Rather, they are people who speak wisely, serve others, and model what a Christian ought to be. 

We may possess positional authority, but our greatest contribution will inevitably come from our influence. Some have both, but if all you have is positional authority, it is not enough and not a worthy prize. 

Why the church itself is largely responsible for people not returning post Covid

 

The phenomena of those who have chosen not to return to church has been the subject of speculation as numbers have dropped dramatically in church attendance. Even long time church attenders are absent and have indicated that they don't intend to come back.

A case can be made that in many cases, this reflects either poor theology (I don't need church or I can get what I want online when I need it) or low spiritual commitment (I can do my spirituality without the church). Certainly Covid sped up the tendency among church goers that Sunday is a day off and church is an option but not a priority.

Covid's fallout thus reflects the loss of those whose faith was less than robust, who may have been church attendees by habit or tradition or many who simply find the church irrelevant to their lives.

My take is that while the above is often true, that the church itself is largely responsible for people not returning post Covid. It has itself to blame and it should cause major reevaluation as to the purpose, message and engagement of the church. So here is my take on dwindling church attendance in the post Covid world.

We have failed to teach and live a Biblical ecclesiology. We have lost a Biblical theology of the church. The Scriptures have a theology of church that has been lost because the church has not taught it or lived it. Scripturally, the church is a gathering of God's people to worship God in community, be encouraged and challenged by God's Word, in community, care for one another in community, and engage in God's work in the outside world together as God's people are released into their gifting to live out their unique God given calling and legacy.

Instead we have made worship services about us rather than about God. The focus is on meeting our own needs rather than being focused on the worship of our creator. Certainly that needs to be done in culturally sensitive ways but still it begs the question as to whether the focus of the service is on us or on God. 

We have failed to teach and live out the "one another" aspect of the Christian life. Here is where in the words of Scripture, male and female, Jew and gentile, rich and poor, slave and free, people from every background, culture and language become one in Christ. The Gospel is the great leveler as the Spirit knits disparate people into one- body that is the local manifestation of the body of Christ. None of this happens in isolation. It happens in authentic community. It happens as we are forced to grapple with what it means to be part of the body of Christ and to move from autonomous independent individuals to people knit together by the Holy Spirit. Quite simply, that does not happen in isolation but in community, sometimes messy community. If we understood God's plan for the church, diminishing our commitment to the church would not be an option. But we don't.

We have substituted feel good teaching for transformational teaching. Many messages from the pulpit today can hardly be differentiated from the self help section of books at Barnes and Nobles. There may be great advice there but Scripture is meant to teach, instruct, rebuke (where necessary), train us in righteousness and challenge our thinking, relationships, hearts, actions and priorities. Too little of our preaching does that these days. In traditional settings it is theology without application. In non traditional settings it is often self help without theology. This is the fault of the church.

If I want self help, the You Tube channel, a podcast or a book will suffice. I don't need church for that. If I want theology and Biblical teaching that forces me to think Biblically and allow the Holy Spirit to transform my life, I need the church because all of this is done most powerfully in community with other believers. This is not about entertaining folks on Sunday mornings but engaging people in a common experience of worship, prayer, Bible teaching with our fellow pilgrims.

We have changed ministry from that of living out our God given wiring and gifting meant to reach the world to volunteerism within the four walls of our churches. Don't get me wrong. The church as an organism needs the best of what each of us has to bring. We are all fellow ministers working to grow together and it is as we use our gifts that the body of Christ is built up into what it is meant to be (Ephesians 4). Note again the emphasis on community. 

However, the call of God on our lives goes beyond serving coffee on Sundays. It goes to a lifestyle where we are intentionally using our God given gifts on a 24/7 basis, not only inside the four walls of the church but in the world where we live and work and play. Yet in many ways the church has defined ministry as what happens within its four walls and in doing so has downplayed the strategic call of God on each of our lives to be His representatives in a hurting and broken world. In doing so we have diminished the important work that God has for each of our lives whether we are school teachers, janitors, salespeople, executives or wherever God has placed us in life and work. We have failed to help Christ followers understand the way that God wants to use them in a fallen world.

We have allowed "information" about the Christian life to trump "relationship" in the Christian life.  If the Christian life is primarily about information, we can find that commodity in many places. But that is not the teaching of Scripture. It is in community that we grow as we learn to love disparate and different people. It is in community that I learn to care for others and be the hands and feet of Jesus. It is in community that I learn the humility of working and living with others. It is in community that I learn to put my spiritual maturity to the test: to forgive, work together, use my gifts for the common good; be encouraged and challenge others. Count up the "one another" statements in the New Testament and you get the picture. Even Jesus, our greatest example, chose to live life in community with twelve other individuals so say nothing of the many hundreds of others who were part of His larger community. 

We have allowed church size to substitute for church health. I am not a critic of large churches. Many become large because they are healthy. I am a critic of the drive to become large as if the size of our congregation is an indication of health. I would rather see small churches who lived out a Biblical ecclesiology than a large church that did not. Church health results in transformed lives. Church success is the life change of its people through the Holy Spirit and living in community where we must put our theology into practice. 

My conclusion is that the church itself is responsible for much of the fallout from our Covid period. In that sense, Covid can be a wake up call for the church and call us back to become missional communities once again that engage people in community for our transformation and His glory. It is worth thinking about.

One thing leaders often get wrong that diminishes their organization's impact

 

Over the years I have had the privilege of consulting with numerous organizations. As a consultant I am often engaged to help resolve problems within the organization. This is counterintuitive but I have often found that in their desire to serve their constituents, leaders, even very good leaders hurt their organizations because they neglect their staff.

They don't see staff as their first priority. Thus they don't invest much time in developing staff members, helping them be successful at their work. Here is a common theme by staff: I don't get enough time with my leader. I get the leftovers of their time and energy. But here is the thing - simply stated.

The key to an organization's success is the staff. The heathier and more engaged the staff is, the greater the impact they will have. When a leader makes his/her staff the second priority in order to serve their ultimate customers they actually lose because unhappy, unaligned, undeveloped staffs eventually implode. And when they implode who gets hurt? Those they are there to serve. Ironically, the leader is often caught in the fallout as the staff no longer respects them. Neglect your staff and everyone suffers!

Organizational leaders serve through their staff team, not around their staff team. Staff are not a distraction but the key to the organization's success. If you are a leader who is too busy to spend the time that your staff needs with you, you are not leading. And, your priority of serving your constituents at the expense of staff will end badly for you, the staff and your customers. It just does!

I have helped to clean up too many situations because leaders neglected their staff. Don't let it happen to you.

How would your staff and board actually describe your church and why it matters

 

Here is an instructive exercise if you want to think about what your church is about. Ask your staff and board this question: How would you describe our church? Forget about vision and mission statements and focus on how you would actually describe the church. For real!

In fact, take this one step further and describe the positive pieces of your church culture, the problematic pieces and the negative pieces. Put those in three columns on a white board and have a discussion around all three columns. 

Think about these questions;

• How can we capitalize on the positive pieces of our culture and continue to encourage those pieces?
• What can we do about the problematic pieces of our culture?
• How do we address and change the negative pieces of our culture and where do those influences come from?
• How do these three columns impact new people who come into the congregation?
• What impact do the three columns have on the spiritual health of our congregation?
• Do we have the courage to address the negative pieces of our culture?

My guess is that such a conversation will open up some honest and candid dialogue among your staff and leaders. The problematic and negative pieces of a congregation's culture are often ignored or left as elephants in the room. Don't ignore them because they impact the spiritual lives of your people for good or bad. In fact, at some point, in some way, it is necessary to address those negative pieces of your culture and that takes courage and a long term plan.

It starts with a conversation. 

The Evangelical Church is Breaking Apart - Peter Wehner in the Atlantic

 

THE EVANGELICAL CHURCH IS BREAKING APART

Christians must reclaim Jesus from his church.

By Peter Wehner

American missionaries and family members kidnapped in Haiti - Washington Post article

 

American missionaries

 and family members 

kidnapped in Haiti by

 ‘400 Mawozo’ gang,

 groups say

Ten ways to evaluate whether your ego is getting in the way of your leadership

 An overly inflated ego is one of the challenges of leaders who are often in their positions because they have seen success. The success that positions one for leadership can also be our subtle undoing when we allow it to feed our ego which has a voracious and unrelenting appetite. 

Most of us like to think that we are not conceited and yet that is the greatest conceit of all. However, we can be aware of signs that our ego (and conceit) are getting in the way of our own emotional health and leadership. Awareness can help us manage the appetite of our egos.

Being defensive or angry when we are challenged.
Defensiveness is nothing more than our ego screaming "don't challenge me because I am right" even when we are not. It keeps us from hearing truth and perspective from others leaving us with only our limited perspective. This is why the best leaders train themselves to be open to differing perspectives and cultivate a non-defensive attitude.

Being reluctant to delegate

An unwillingness to delegate is often our ego speaking: "No one can do this as well as I can." Actually, in most things others can do things better than we can but who wants to admit that! Healthy leaders do. In fact, they encourage others to find better ways of doing things in order to build better organizations. We may not realize it but an unwillingness to delegate can be a sign of an unhealthy ego.

Needing to always get our own way
Why would we need to always get our own way if not because our own self worth or conviction that we are always right reveals an overinflated and unhealthy ego? Healthy leaders desire to do the best thing to reach the desired outcome which has nothing to do with whether it is their way or not. Unhealthy egos demand their way regardless of whether other ways might be better.

Being jealous of the success of others
Whenever we become jealous at the success of another we ought to sit up and take note that we have an ego problem. Jealousy over the success of another is a sign that we believe their success in someway diminishes us! Only unhealthy and hungry egos react this way. These egos will resist hiring anyone who might outshine them in some area and is a dangerous trait.

Taking credit for success and deflecting blame in failure
This happens in ministry, in business, in politics and everywhere there are people. We love to overinflate our abilities and underinflate our weaknesses. Accolades feed our hungry egos and those same hungry egos don't want to admit failure so they deflect it to others. Healthy egos share success with the team and are willing to take responsibility for failure. Healthy egos never need to be fed at the expense of others in success or failure.

A critical spirit
Critical spirits can come from a need to build ourselves up by putting others down or an attitude of superiority - both of which are connected to unhealthy egos. If we find ourselves becoming critical we need to ask ourselves why we find a need to diminish rather than encourage others. An attitude of criticism is rarely a sign of a healthy leader and it usually has to do more with them than with those they are critical about.

Slowing down on learning and developing
How is this related to ego? It is an assumption that we no longer need to learn new things or put another way, we already know all that we need to know. That is a lie of our ego. If anything, the need to invest more time in learning is critical because our world is changing at an increasing rate. Humble individuals invest in learning while proud people feel they don't need to.

Inability or unwillingness to listen

Those who don't listen or who listen and ignore the perspectives of others are sending a message that they don't need the input of others. That is Ego all the way. Humility requires listening as well as openness to the opinions and suggestions of others. Those who don't listen are actually saying, "I don't need you or your input. Just do as I say." That is arrogance!

Unkind or demeaning words

Those who put down others, treat them unkindly, demean them or their efforts, use words that hurt rather than help, use unkind words or speak in an unkind way are placing themselves above others (pride and ego) rather than treating people with the dignity and compassion that they would want themselves. Humble individuals are kind and understanding. Ego driven people are often unkind and place themselves "over" others rather than "alongside" others. 

Why does this matter? The behaviors above are toxic to those around us, to our team and to our organization. More importantly they are toxic to us because when our egos get in the way of our leadership we are both hurting our leadership and our own hearts and minds are compromised. Ego hurts others but it also hurts us. 

The correlation between Emotional Intelligence and organizational culture

 It is a given that the Emotional Intelligence of an organization is the sum of the EQ of its members. In other words, the organization's EQ reflects the general emotional health of its people. When I ask people about the culture of their workplace, they can quickly identify the positive and the negative aspects of their organization. What they often don't realize is that they are describing the EQ of those who work there. 

In effect, the EQ of the organization (which reflects the EQ of the individuals within the organization) creates the organizational culture. There is a direct correlation between EQ and culture. So, if one is going to change the organizational culture, it becomes necessary to grow the EQ of its members. 

For instance, if one has a culture that is rife with gossip, backstabbing, unhealthy competition, conflict, and people taking credit when they should not or blaming others when they are to blame, one has a dysfunctional culture that reflects poor Emotional Intelligence among its members. The core issue is not the culture but the people who make up that culture and their level of emotional health.

The lower the EQ of the staff, the more dysfunctional the organization is. The higher the EQ of staff, the healthier the organizational culture. And the culture almost always reflects an organization's leadership as people take their cues from leaders.

Because we don't often think of organizational culture as related to the EQ of its members, we become frustrated with our inability to deal with issues in our organizational culture. However, by teaching and coaching in EQ, we can directly impact the culture of the organization in healthy ways. 

One issue that is often ignored is this: The EQ of leaders has a disproportionate impact on the organization as they are the ones who set the standard for behavior. They set the tone for how others are treated, how they serve, and how they lead from a place of humility. 

Some behaviors need to be illegal in an organization because they are antithetical to healthy relationships and interactions. As someone has said, Culture is what we create or allow. In creating a healthy culture, we model good EQ. In disallowing unhealthy behavior, we set a standard for what personal and relational health looks like.

It is instructive to look at your own organization and ask what the corporate EQ quotient is. Are you intentionally creating a healthy culture, or are you allowing things that hurt your culture?

All cultures have positive and negative aspects to them. Take a moment and think about the problematic areas of the culture of your team or organization, and armed with that knowledge, do some teaching and coaching in the requisite areas of EQ that are involved in the problematic areas.

For examples of the signs of good and poor EQ, click here.