12 signs of humility and arrogance in leaders

Indicators of Humility

• I have a proper view of who I am, who I am not and know the source of my strengths

• I am a secure individual and therefore unthreatened

• I know that I need others and treat them with honor and respect

• As a rule I am non-defensive

• I listen carefully to others and display flexibility

• I do not need to have my own way on most things

• I am willing to share authority and decision making with others

• I intentionally solicit feedback and am open to critique

• I pay great attention to my shadow side and manage it

• I give credit away in success and take responsibility in failure

• I surround myself with people who will tell me the truth

• I live under authority and accountability

• I realize that my leadership is not about me but about the mission

Indicators of Arrogance

• I am self involved and have an inflated view of my own importance

• I live with insecurity which impacts my actions

• I use others for my purposes and marginalize them if they disagree with me

• I display defensiveness and do not want to hear contrary opinions

• I do not listen carefully to others and am inflexible when others suggest modifications to my plans

• I am unwilling to share decision making with others

• I resist feedback or critique that is not in agreement with me

• I pay little attention to my shadow side and rarely if ever acknowledge it

• I take credit for success and blame others for failures

• I surround myself with “yes” people

• I resist accountability and chafe under authority

• The ministry is more about me than the mission

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

I know my church board is healthy when....

There are a number of key indicators of a healthy church board. If you are serving in this capacity, consider these indicators as you consider your own board.

I know my church board is healthy when...

• There are healthy relationships between all board members - even when there are differences of opinion

• We are free to put all issues on the table with the exception of hidden agendas and personal attacks

• A concern for what would please Jesus is front and central all the time

• There is a healthy balance between business and prayer

• Meetings are focused and generally stay within the set time constraints

• I want to go to board meetings!

• There is clarity about ministry direction and we seek to move in that direction

• We do governance work and allow staff to do their work without interference

• We place a high priority on learning and growing

• There are no elephants in the room

• Unhealthy behaviors on the board are not tolerated

• We have a vision that goes beyond us and is Jesus and Kingdom centered not us centered

• There is a deep concern for the spiritual growth of those in the church as well as for those in our community that do not yet know Jesus

• We are willing to tackle hard issues but always with the grace of Jesus

• We know one another well enough to tolerate and appreciate one another's differences

• We are never satisfied with the status quo but are always looking to the future and where God wants us to go

• We pray for one another outside of board meetings

• We have a board covenant that speaks to how we work with one another

• There are no unresolved conflicts between board members

Simple indicators but indicators of health. It is worth taking a few minutes as a board and asking the questions!

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

What I know about leadership today that I didn't know then

Learning to lead well is something that is learned the hard way over time. I took time recently to consider what I know today that I didn't know well enough as a young leader. It is a long list that simply says how little I knew about good leadership as a young leader. The raw stuff was there, but there was and is much to learn. If you fit that young leader category, these may be things to consider.

• Many issues are not as urgent as I think they are. Relax, and don't equate all issues to having the same urgency. 

• Flexibility is critical for good leadership. Most of life is not black and white, and compromise is critical in getting things done. 

• Necessary or desired changes do not need to take place immediately. As a leader, I can only move as fast as those I lead can follow. I need to be patient and sensitive in leading through change.

• I don't need to take differences personally. It is about the mission, not about me. Pushback and disagreements are healthy as long as we can come to healthy solutions.

• The key to everything is relationships. It pays to develop relationships even with those who disagree with me. Mutual respect and understanding come through relationships.

• Anxiety is wasted energy. Don't worry about things that one cannot control. The worst is unlikely to happen anyway.

• I can be wrong, and it does not hurt my leadership. Develop a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose attitude," and one gains freedom.

• Just be me. I cannot lead like anyone else. God made me who He made me, and I need to lead from who He made me to be. Learn to be comfortable in one's own skin.

• Don't die on anthills! It is painful and unnecessary. There are some hills to die on, but not very many. Be wary of which one you take your stand on.

• Don't judge motives. We usually don't know what they are, and almost always, when we attribute poor motives to others, we are wrong.

• Relationships are everything. Influence comes through relationships, so press into those hard with those one needs to work with, even if they seem to be detractors. 

• I should never measure myself against others. That is a false measurement. I should measure my own progress and whether I am better today than I was yesterday. 

• My own inner life must take precedence over all other things. The healthier I am emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, the better my leadership. The inner life always comes first.

• I don't need to change the world - and cannot. What God does want me to do is influence my small corner of the world.

• God is sovereign. When I carry around great anxiety and worry, I am trying to do His job. I can relax knowing that He is always ultimately in control.

• Not all things get fixed on this side of heaven. God is always sovereign, but He does not force people, and there are situations and people issues that I will not be able to fix.

• Humility is at the core of all good leadership. Arrogance and thinking more of myself than I should get me into trouble. We all overestimate our gifts and importance and underestimate our faults and shadow side.

• Emotional intelligence matters a lot. The more I grow my EQ, the better my relationships, leadership, and personal health.

• God died for the Bride and not the brand. God wants me to focus on His kingdom and not my particular evangelical brand. I should appreciate all of his players and not just a few.

• I don't need to compete but to be faithful. I am not in competition with others but rather called to be faithful to what He wants me to do. 

• It is OK that not everyone likes me. In fact, if everyone likes me, I am probably not leading well. Popularity is not the end goal of leadership.

• I am only good at a few things. It is how God created me (Ephesians 2:10) and is why I need others around me. Their gifts make up for my many deficits.

• I can never give enough credit away. As a leader, I give credit to the team and take responsibility for the failures. It is what leaders do.

• God can guard my reputation. This means I don't need to - even when people are obnoxious or hurtful.

• If I am threatened by others, that is my problem, not theirs. The question is, "why do they threaten me, and what does that say about my own inner health?" To the extent that I lack personal security, I must press into those EQ issues.

• Perceived failures are usually just opportunities for growth. What we define as a failure, God is simply using to grow us into who He wants us to be.

• God can superintend my ministry path. He knows where I will be most useful and influential. I don't need to seek success but be faithful to where He has called me.

• Position does not equal influence. I can have as much influence as He wants me to have from whatever position or platform God' gives.

• Success must be measured from His perspective rather than from the world's perspective. God does not measure success the way the world does. My job is to use the gifts and opportunities He puts in front of me for maximum Kingdom advantage. 

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

tjaddington@gmail.com

Ministries are either built to last or built to fail - think about Mars Hill

It was fascinating but not surprising news this week that one of the famous ministries of our day is dissolving with the resignation of its founder, Mark Driscoll. Come New Year's day, 2015 the Mars Hill Church of Seattle will cease to exist although some of their satellite locations may choose to become independent churches.

There are some lessons to be learned from this. The first is that it is always perilous to build a ministry around one individual rather than a team that is in Jim Collin's terms "Built to Last." Any ministry dependent on one individual faces a crisis if that individual dies or leaves. Such ministries often revolve around a single leader because that leader is fundamentally unwilling to delegate responsibility and authority to others. In my view, no local church should be organized this way and when it is it often reflects a narcissistic leader who needs to control. Clearly there was not a healthy culture at Mars Hill which almost always reflects the DNA of its leader.

Well built ministries have leadership teams not a single leader and they are designed to function well even if the senior leader for some reason leaves that ministry. That structure reflects a greater concern for the mission and the ministry while structures built around an individual reflect a greater concern for the wishes and control of that individual. The first is reflective of a kingdom mindset and the second of a egotistical mindset (with a few exceptions). All ministries built around one individual are fragile entities!

My second observation is that Mars Hill lacked what every good church should have and that is local leadership that is empowered to hold its senior leader accountable and to rein in problematic behavior. Certainly in a church that size there are many highly qualified leaders, yet in the main the board of overseers was from the outside with neither the ongoing context or the ability to shepherd the pastor, let alone ensure that the church was healthy. 

For current leaders to make the decision they have made indicates clearly that they had few good options which is a reflection of the damage Mark did in the past several years, the lack of a structure that was built to last and of a strong leadership team that should have been able to weather the storm. And in case you think this is piling it on, think of the hundreds of staff and thousands of congregants for whom the church was their livelihood or place of worship and you start to understand the enormity of the corporate pain that must be present this week at the news that your church will disappear in two months. Not because there was a planned transition but because the leadership of the organization was so poor there were no good options left.

I also hope, thirdly that all of us in ministry take heed of the lessons of this sorry tale. Our character as leaders counts. Our words, attitudes, decisions and treatment of people matter a lot. I am amazed at how many people responded to Mark's behavior as OK (after all we are all human). Yet the Scriptures are clear that those in Christian leadership bear a far higher level of responsibility for their behaviors and character than others. It is one thing to have a bad day - we all have them. It is another to have a pattern of behaviors that violate Scriptural guidelines and not be called on it. To give Mark a pass because he built a large organization misses the point that success (defined by the world's definition) is never an excuse for not living up to the calling we have in Christian leadership. 

Taken together, the decision this week goes to a failure of leadership by Mark and leaders, a failure to build a healthy organization and a willingness to overlook important issues because people came in large numbers and gave generously. The speed at which it came apart in the end is indicative of deep fissures and a poor foundation. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

One of the most important attributes of leaders

One of the most important attributes of leaders is flexibility. I am not talking the physical kind but the flexibility to adjust their preferred plans in order to meet the needs of those they lead. Some things are not negotiable but there are far more things that are negotiable than most leaders recognize. 

In my upcoming book, Deep Influence, I write this about leaders and flexibility: 

"Leaders with high EQ are both self-defined and flexible. Their self-definition becomes a compass directionally, but within that direction they are highly flexible. For some, leadership is telling others what they will do and getting his way. For healthy leaders, the direction setting process includes other key stakeholders, leaving flexibility for them to choose strategies that will take the organization that direction.

In most situations where leaders are inflexible and need to get their own way, the inflexibility is not worth the effort it requires or the problems it causes. God’s design of church leadership as a team is based on the value of the counsel of multiple wise leaders. 

Many of the conflicts in which leaders find themselves are a direct result of either poor self-definition or inflexibility to negotiate a common course of action. The leader who is self-defined while also engaged in healthy relational dialogue is a master at flexibly helping other good people come to a common strategy that allows the ministry to move in the preferred direction. Black-and-white individuals tend to polarize rather than bring people together."

I encounter too many leaders whose inflexibility creates conflict which hurts their leadership and the organizations they lead. Ironically flexibility in how we achieve our ends gets us further and faster than inflexibility and the need to get our way! 

Flexibility also communicates that we are in this together and is is about us rather than me. Inflexible leaders irritate the very people they lead while flexible leaders are seen as reasonable and team players. Flexibility is also about humility. Pride says I need to get my way. Humility says I will work with others to achieve the ends but I am flexible in the way we get there. One polarizes and the other unites.

My new book, Deep Influence: Unseen Practices That Will Revolutionize Your Leadership, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

Honoring the past while building for the future in the local church

I have a bone to pick with two groups in the local church. The first is with those who are so intent on preserving the past that they do not allow the church to move forward into the future. It is a recipe for a slow death and a slide into irrelevance. In fact, a focus on the past is one of the hallmarks of an institutional church that is inward looking and protective of anything that threatens the status quo. The past is the past and is not the path to the future.

The second is bone to pick is with those in the church (often pastors and leaders) who exclusively focus on the future to the marginalization of the past. Here are leaders who in their drive to be relevant to the next generation focus all energies and programming to the next generation at the expense of those who have come before - think older than 55. Just as the first group marginalizes the next generation, this group marginalizes the prior generation and have an attitude of, be flexible, get with it or find another place to worship.

Neither option is balanced and both marginalize people that God loves and are important to Him. 

I believe that we ought to honor the past while building for the future. Honoring the past means that we listen to the older generations who built the church, listen to their perspectives, seek to meet their needs and actively work to engage them in mentoring and coaching the younger generations. Because they are not the future does not mean they are no longer relevant and all of us find ourselves in that category sooner than later as we age.

Building for the future is absolutely critical as our challenge in the church is always to reach the next generation. That will mean that our ministry needs to be relevant to those upcoming generations. But, not to the marginalization of those who have come before. It saddens me when in our pragmatic culture we are willing to marginalize whole segments of our churches because they don't meet our targeted audience. I just cannot see Jesus doing that.

I talk to many seniors in local congregations who feel marginalized and unimportant to the ministry of the church. And I am not talking about selfish people. They simply wish the church cared about all people rather than some people. They want the next generation reached for Jesus but also want to be valued and engaged. It is all about honoring the past while building for the future.

My new book, Deep Influence: Unseen Practices That Will Revolutionize Your Leadership, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

Leaders who are too busy to listen

There is often a conflict for leaders between their schedules, the maintenance of key relationships and having enough time to stop and carefully listen to those they interact with. The ability to listen and evaluate what is being shared is very different from listening on the run and not having the time to consider what was heard. And it is a common problem for leaders with out of control schedules.

Many individuals who talk to leaders feel that they were not heard and many are right. They were heard on the fly and what was shared was not truly considered because their leader was preoccupied with other issues and already moving on to the next thing as the conversation took place. 

The problem with this is twofold. First, good ideas and counsel can easily be missed or marginalized because a leader does not have the time to stop, listen and evaluate. Second, leadership depends on influence and influence comes from relationship. Leaders who do not listen well usually also don't keep key relationships and eventually lose influence. 

The question is not whether I "hear" those who talk to me but whether I have the time and energy to truly be present in the conversation and then the time to evaluate what was shared. Many leaders miss key information and commit significant blunders because they did not take the time to truly listen and evaluate. Their busyness comes back to bite them.

We will interact with many people today. Will we truly be present with them in those interactions and will we take the ideas, suggestions and concerns seriously because we stopped to think about it? It is both good leadership and respect for those we interact with.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Wise pastors always pay attention to these priorities

There are many things that can get a pastor into trouble but lets talk about some things that can help them stay out of trouble. Often when we do hit crisis points it is the lack of these investments that creates our largest problem.

Staying close to your board members. Healthy board relationships are all about spending enough time together (individually and corporately) that there is a reservoir of good will, understanding, empathy for one another and the ability to talk honestly with each other. All of that takes time. Wise leaders take the time to get to know their board members, listen carefully to them and develop a heart connection. This includes a pastoral component. A healthy senior leader is always a pastor to his board members. 

Staying connected to your staff and support staff. Influence comes from relationship. I am surprised at how many senior leaders do not invest time with their staff, sometimes even key staff - yet they want the loyalty of those same staff. Every investment in relationship is an investment in better understanding, the willingness of staff to go the second mile and a common mission. Senior leaders ignore their staff at their peril because when push comes to shove those who don't have relationship will often not have the support of those staff.

Staying close to Jesus. That may seem obvious but it is not. Many Christian leaders have a professional relationship with Jesus - they serve Him rather than an intimate relationship with Him where they stay with Him. Our spiritual lives are only as good as the last time we spent with our Savior so living in His presence  and living in His Scriptures are critical elements. The more time we spend with Him the more we start to look like Him. The less time we spend with Him the less we look like Him. 

Missional clarity. People need to know who we are and where we are going and how we are going to get there. Simple - yet often not articulated by senior leaders. In the absence of ministry clarity there are many definitions of clarity which leads to conflict and misunderstanding. People on separate pages cannot be on the same page and end up going different directions. Unless a senior leader facilitates a clear and common direction in collaboration with his board and staff multiple directions emerge which eventually comes back to hurt the senior leader.

Loving people. While senior leaders cannot be the single shepherd, it must be known to the board, staff and congregation that they truly love those they serve. People will forgive a lot if they are loved. If they don't feel loved and cared for they are less likely to overlook those things that irritate them. Oh yes! Loving people reflects the heart of Jesus. The priority is not programs but people and their transformation into His image. That love and concern needs to extend to every generation in the congregation, not just our own generation.

Spiritual transformation.
What spells success? It is really pretty simple: More believes and better believers. It is the spiritual transformation of individuals from being a seeker, to a believer and from a believer to a Christ centered life. Pastors who take their eyes off of this central mission of the church allow the peripheral to cloud out the central.

Emotional and relational health. Poor EQ gets in the way of pastors more than anything else. Wise pastors pay a great deal of attention to their own emotional and relational growth so that they become skilled at negotiating relationships, resolving conflict, working synergistically with staff and board and living with transparency and non-defensiveness.

Wise pastors pay close attention to each of these priorities.

My new book, Deep Influence: Unseen Practices That Will Revolutionize Your Leadership, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

Optimistic leaders often need to temper their optimism with realism

Optimism is a wonderful trait and I share that outlook on life. It is an outlook that sees the best, believes that barriers can be overcome and that God and we can do great things. Who wants to work for a pessimist! After all, we work for a God who can do far more than we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). 

Sometimes, however, optimism can become a handicap just as any strength can become a weakness if not managed well. Optimism as an outlook on life is a positive trait. There are many situations we face as leaders, however, that require realism more than optimism.

Take a staff situation where there is regular under performance. My optimism may get in the way of critical evaluation and understanding that unless something is done, the staff member will likely not succeed. Simply wanting them to succeed does not make it so. Realism is required to figure out the cause of the performance problem and resolve it.

Optimistic leaders often overlook the difficulty of getting something done by their staff. In their "gung ho" spirit they can simply assume that the requests they are making are easy to carry out when in fact they may may be causing a great deal of difficulty as staff scramble to meet their expectations. Often they need a dose of realism to understand the impact of their requests.

Highly optimistic leaders often assume that the results of their ministry are significant when in fact they can be simply marginal. Why? Because in their optimism they neglect to take a realistic look at what is actually happening. Optimism should never be a substitute for realistic evaluation.

I would much rather be an optimistic leader than the alternative. But I must also be a realistic leader if I am going to lead well.

Practices that help leaders see clearly

All of us want to see the issues of life clearly and this is nowhere more important than for leaders whose actions, perceptions and decisions impact teams and organizations. This does not happen automatically as the busyness of life, demands of leadership and lack of appropriate margin often cloud out clarity leaving us seeing through a clouded rather than a clear lens.

Seeing clearly starts with renewed hearts and minds that are regularly in the presence of God: Scripture, prayer, meditation, and living with an ever present awareness of our need for His wisdom and empowerment. Inherent in a renewed mind is a clear conscience where we are living in God's grace and forgiveness and not allowing known sin to cloud our lives. Sin has a way of skewing our perspective and is antithetical to personal clarity.

Seeing clearly also requires an open mind that listens to the input of others, is non-defensive in spirit and does not go it alone. None of us see clearly by ourselves. We need others and the gifts and thinking of others to see what we ourselves cannot see. Those leaders who see the best have surrounded themselves with wise individuals whom they listen to. Almost all leaders who get themselves into trouble allowed themselves to become isolated from good counsel.

Clear thinking requires time to consider, mull and consider. The out of control schedules of many leaders lives do not provide that time and decisions made on the fly are rarely great decisions. Thus our schedules have much to do with our ability to see clearly.

All of us have personal issues. Resolving those issues is a huge part of seeing clearly as our own stuff often clouds our perspective. Healthy leaders who are aware of their baggage and who seek to minimize that baggage see far better than those who carry it around unresolved. Distractions are fewer, and life less complicated when we have resolved our own stuff.

Much of this comes down to personal health: Emotional, spiritual and relational health and a life lived with intentionality. Healthy leaders see better and end up making healthier decisions. Their hearts and lives are less clouded than others. 

When looking for leaders how do you evaluate their potential?

Like most ministries, ReachGlobal is always looking for good leaders. In doing so, however, our staff must be able to evaluate the potential of leaders they encounter. Aside from the obvious qualifications of character and Christian commitment there are four areas we evaluate as we interact with potential leaders. The questions below are not a checklist but the kinds of things we are looking for in these four areas as we dialogue with these potential leaders. They may be helpful to you and your organization.

These apply to both volunteer and paid leaders.

If you are a leader in some capacity you might want to evaluate yourself against these qualities.

PEOPLE

• Do they desire to see more accomplished through others?
• Do they have the ability and inclination to do a critical assessment of people? (Their skills and abilities).
• Are they likeable and able to engage others?
• How do they view people? As tools or human beings?
• Is their need to be liked greater than their need to get something done?

THINKING

• Do they have the ability to think conceptually?
• Do they have the ability to think strategically?
• Do they ask strategic questions?
• Are they able to critically assess organizational issues?
• Are they able to assess situations without placing blame?
• Do they have the mental agility to see multiple possible causes and solutions?
• Are they able to live with ambiguity and hold issues in tension without immediate resolution? (Can they think grey?)
• Are they thoughtful in their response to questions?
• Do they appropriately question conventional wisdom?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

• Are they aware of their own emotions, wiring, strengths and gifts?
• Are they able to manage their emotions appropriately?
• Do they exhibit true humility?
• Are they able to be self-defining?
• Are they able to understand with empathy the emotions of another person?

EXPERIENCE

• Do they have a record of leading others toward some vision or goal?
• Are they more adept at organizational leadership, influence leadership or project management?
• What have they learned from failures and successes as a leader?

Choosing a healthy path even when others don't

Many people work in organizations that have significant issues, or attend churches with the same. Welcome to our world which made up of people is highly imperfect. While I wish we all were in healthy workplaces or churches we are not. That being said, we always have a choice: Do I contribute to dysfunction or to health?

The issue is not whether there will be dysfunction in my church or place of work - that is a fact of life. The issue is whether I will deliberately and consistently choose healthy attitudes and practices in spite of what others around me are doing. That is my choice!

Truly healthy individuals simply choose a healthy path even when others don't.

Think about the choices we have:

• I choose whether I get pulled into other people's stuff or avoid triangulation.
• I choose whether I engage in gossip and the putting down of others or choose only to speak well of others.
• I choose whether I keep short accounts in relationships or allow bitterness and conflict to fester unresolved.
• I choose whether I am honest and transparent while still being diplomatic and kind or whether I am cynical and angry.
• I choose whether I live with personal integrity or skirt the edges.

The powerful common denominator in all this is that we always have a choice. No matter how dysfunctional our surroundings we always have a choice. That is empowering to us and powerful in its influence with others.

It is also very freeing. Getting wrapped up in bad attitudes, unhappiness, emotional triangles, unresolved conflict are all massive energy wasters and bondage makers. Choosing a healthy path is freeing. It is also a quiet but powerful influence for health when things are not healthy.

We have far more power over our circumstances and attitudes than we often think. And more influence than we know if we will choose a healthy path even when others don't!

Practices of healthy boards

In few instances will an organization or a congregation rise above the quality, practices, spiritual sensitivity or missional commitment of its senior board. That is a sobering thought if you are a board member - but it is true and can be verified in almost every instance. Given that fact, there is nothing more important than for us to ensure that our boards are healthy. In fact, I would love for you to share this blog with the board you are serving on and see what it generates in discussion.

Healthy boards practice deep sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. In order for that to be true it means that they set aside regular and significant time for prayer and for the seeking of God's will for their church or organization - and then they listen for His voice. This includes regular time in the word where His voice has already spoken on critical matters. Spiritual leadership requires spiritual sensitivity and time with the One on whose behalf we lead. Without this practice we will not be His leaders in the full sense of the word.

Healthy boards always clarify the key focus of the church and then they stick with that clarity. Specifically, they clarify the mission, the guiding principles by which the organization will operate, the central ministry focus which must be practiced in all they do and the culture they are intent on creating. Once they are clear, everything they do in programming, staffing, initiatives, teaching and priorities is designed to stay in line with the missional clarity they have. Boards that do not have clarity, do not stick to their clarity or keep changing their clarity (which is not clarity at all) confuse their people and dilute their effectiveness. Healthy boards bring great clarity to everything the organization does.

Healthy boards never allow elephants to exist without addressing them directly. Elephants are those topics that everyone knows are present but no one wants to bring up because it will be uncomfortable. Here is a principle to consider. Elephants are elephants precisely because they are threats to the organization and good leaders always address threats to the organization. Ignoring elephants, trying to pretend they are not there or not having the courage to name and discuss them allows those very issues to hurt what you are trying to accomplish. Take elephants seriously. They are the very issues you must address if you are going to move forward in health. If there are elephants on your board you have symptoms of problems.

Healthy boards operate with a board covenant which spells out the rules of engagement in terms of how board members relate to one another. This includes agreement on keeping short accounts, dealing with conflict, the role of robust, honest dialogue in board meetings and the full support of decisions made once they are made. A signed board covenant allows you to create a healthy board culture, define board expectations and hold members accountable if they should go south.

Healthy boards are clear on the missional results they want for their church or organization and evaluate those results on a regular basis. This is why "clarity" is so important above. With clarity you can evaluate ministry results. Without clarity it is impossible to do so because you don't know what you are measuring. It is hard work to determine how you measure results in a ministry setting but it is one of the most important things boards do.

Healthy boards know the difference between management of day to day operations and the core directional issues, policies and thinking about the future. They delegate management of day to day issues to staff or others and keep their focus on the larger picture including the health of the church.

Healthy boards never allow themselves to be divided into factions. All board members are there to serve the ministry as a whole. When boards develop separate factions (If you have them on your board you know what I am talking about) the board is no longer serving the whole but has divided into those who support a part and are fighting for that part (or individual). This in itself is a sign that there are elephants in the room that have not been dealt with and that there is not clarity around which the whole board is focused and that there is not the ability to evaluate ministry success. Divided boards are deeply symptomatic of dishealth. To get to healthy they must really go back to the basics and agree that everyone on the board is there to serve the whole rather than to guard a part.

I have three challenges for you if any of these practices of healthy boards are not practices of your board. First, share this blog with them as a way of sparking some good discussion. Second, my two books, High Impact Church Boards, and Leading From The Sandbox are written for board members to get to the highest level of health possible. The higher the level of health of your board, the higher the missional effectiveness of your organization or church. and that is why we serve as board members. I hope you will take the challenge.

A leadership perspective of growth

Quality and depth of leadership takes time. Many leaders mistake short term successes for long term effectiveness. They are so concerned about their success in the moment and in proving their leadership ability that they don’t think long term toward becoming a leader of deep influence.

This is a principle young leaders need to understand: God wants to bless your leadership. But He wants you to press into Him and into those practices that will make your leadership successful and deep over the long run. The most important thing young leaders can do is to pursue the heart connection with God, building into their lives the reservoir of faith, health, grace, and skill that will carry them for the long term.

Where did the depth of Moses leadership come from? As a young leader he was impetuous and careless and ended up having to flee Egypt even though he had been raised in the royal household. God gave Moses forty years to develop his leadership heart and soul before He drafted him for one on of the decisive moments in Israelite history!

Here is something else to note. Moses looked like a leadership failure early on. Many of us do as well. But not to God. God used that failure to build into Moses a dependence on Him rather than on his own wisdom. It took time but a shallow leader became one of the greatest, deepest, wisest leaders in the history of God’s people.

Where did David’s depth come from? It came from the time he had as a shepherd as a young boy out with the sheep – where he was developing his relationship with God. Then it came through the pain of being anointed king, serving Saul well but becoming the object of Saul’s wrath, having to live like a pariah, constantly on the run, having to rely on the only help he had – God. David’s depth was forged in pain!

Or consider Joseph who was sold into slavery at about 17 and spent ten years in God’s waiting room (most of it in prison) before he emerged ready for God’s leadership assignment at about age 27. And not because he didn’t love and trust God. In fact, it was his followership of God that gave him a position of huge responsibility in Potiphar’s household, and then in the prison where he found himself after being framed. Clearly, however, God was using the prison years to build into Joseph’s leadership exactly what would be needed for his real assignment – a depth that could not be forged in any other way than through hard times.

God is more concerned about the depth of our heart and resulting leadership than the outward success of our leadership and depth takes time. Early in my leadership career I faced what I considered a great failure. God did not! He used that episode to humble me, teach me reliance on Him, press into his grace and that “failure” has informed the last twenty five years of my leadership. Depth does not usually come from success but from failure and pain! It is in the tough times that we are forced, like Moses and David to go deep with God. What looks like failure to us is often just part of God’s plan to develop us as leaders.

My own conviction is that when we neglect building depth into our lives in an intentional way, God will provide us with the opportunity by giving us Moses or Joseph wilderness experiences to encourage us to force into Him. He knows that our long term ministry effectiveness is dependent on it so it is one of his strategies for our leadership development.

As I reflect on my leadership career I can attest that the greatest lessons and growth have come from periods of the greatest pain. I believe there is no other way to develop a leadership of deep influence. That quality of leadership does not come from easy success but hard success along with plenty of tough failure. And remember, early failure does not mean long term failure. Often it is the early failures that actually make it possible for us to be successful in the long run – if we use that failure to develop depth.

Take a moment and reflect on the times in your leadership where you have faced the most difficult moments and how God used those moments to make you a better, deeper leader.

The ten top traits I look for in leaders

Leaders come with many different kinds of wiring and lead with varied styles. I celebrate those differences. When hiring or promoting, I care much about how a person leads but I care even more about what lies behind their leadership. There are ten traits that I look for in leaders that are for the most part personal traits that spill over into how they lead.

A Kingdom heart
In ministry settings a kingdom heart is crucial. Our leadership is not about ourselves but about Jesus and what He wants to accomplish on this earth. A kingdom heart is one that understands we are not building something for ourselves but for Him.

Humble
Humble leaders can focus on others and the mission because they are not building a kingdom for themselves. Humble leaders have the capacity to live and lead with personal transparency and have a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose" attitude. They are open and non-defensive when challenged.

Intentional
There are two ways one can live: intentionally or accidentally. The best leaders understand how God has wired them, what He has called them to do (and not do) and organize their lives around the most important rather than simply responding to life. Everything about their priorities and time management is intentional and focused.

Clarity
Clarity is required for intentional living. Clarity about how God has gifted and wired us, clarity in our leadership priorities and organizational clarity all contribute to the ability to be deeply intentional. 

Accountable
Those who lead others and expect them to be accountable must be accountable themselves. To lead one must be willing to follow! Lack of accountability is about hubris while accountability is about humility and a healthy commitment to health. This includes accountability for results

Reflective
The best leaders are deeply reflective people: about themselves, others, the organization, methodology and life in general. They are thinkers rather than simply doers. Their actions come out of thinking and reflection rather than simply responding to events around them. They are thinking, reflective practitioners.

Inquisitive
The best leaders are deeply inquisitive, always asking questions, probing people in their organization and in others, desirous of learning and growing. They ask the question "why" often and don't assume that conventional wisdom is always wisdom. 

Team focused
Healthy organizations are formed around teams that work synergistically together under good leadership with accountability for results. Thus leaders must be willing to work with and through team rather than working independently.

Generous
Leaders give themselves away to help others be successful and the organization reach its objectives. They are servants to those they lead and understand that it is as others succeed that they succeed. Thus they mentor, coach and help others grow with a generous spirit.

Healthy EQ
Unhealthy EQ is the greatest killer of leadership as it creates relational chaos in its wake. No matter how brilliant an individual is, if there are EQ issues, they will not end up on one of our teams. Healthy EQ, on the other hand builds healthy relationships which leads to healthy collaboration and the building of healthy teams.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

Leadership altitude: What altitude are you flying at?

Choosing intentionality is really about the ability to fly at the appropriate altitude and stay there. This is all about understanding our priorities and the kinds of issues we need to deal with at our level of leadership. It is a key difference between people who develop deep influence and those who do not.


Our altitude makes a difference because it determines whether or not we are able to pay attention to the issues that we must pay attention to or whether we allow ourselves to become distracted – dipping down to a lower altitude than we should – and in the process disempowering others and wasting precious time and opportunity.

I often tell my staff that if I am going to lead well, I need to be able to fly at 50,000 feet, where I can see the horizon from all directions, think, plan, strategize and consider the macro issues or organization faces. No one else will do that for me. So if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.

Flying at that altitude I often see what is happening at lower altitudes (where various levels of leadership live and lead) and there is always the temptation to dip down and try to deal with issues at lower altitudes personally. Whenever I do that, I disempower others and I involve myself with issues that I really don’t need to deal with.

Every time I choose to dip down and deal with issues that others can deal with I lose altitude in my own leadership that costs me time and energy. This is why I challenged a ministry leader not to get pulled into meetings where he was not needed. When he dips down from 50,000 feet to 10,000 feet, he is both compromising his own responsibilities and he is pushing into issues that belong to someone at the 10,000 foot level. This disempowers others who have been tasked at that level.

I often talk to pastoral staff whose senior leader loves to dip down at inopportune times and “fine tune” what they are doing. In one case, a senior leaders who lives by the seat of his pants would breeze in on a Friday afternoon, look at the service plan and frequently make changes to fit his desires. What he just did was to disempower the staff member responsible for that service. That meeting should have taken place weeks before and then he should have let the worship leader make the decisions he or she needed to make.

Part of my intentionality is to fly at the attitude I need to fly at and empower others to fly at their altitude – and as much as possible not to interfere with their work. Because I have a monthly check in with each of my reports, we have a chance to dialogue with one another over critical issues but my job as their leader is not to redo their work but to enable them to accomplish their responsibilities and help them fly at their correct altitude.

If I fly at 50,000 feet, my senior team flies at 40,000 feet, giving leadership in their own areas. On their teams are folks who fly at various altitudes in order to fulfill their unique ministry roles. Pilots that decide to fly at an altitude not assigned to them run the risk of crashing with a plane at a different altitude. The same is true for leaders who violate their or others responsibilities. A crash often occurs and influence is lost.

This happened to one of my leadership staff years ago who regularly chose to descend to a lower altitude and essentially get into issues that he should not have. In the process, he lost the trust of those who were tasked with those issues because they felt violated, not in the loop and saddled with the implications of decisions he made at altitudes he should not have been at. Others had to live with the impact of his decisions, yet they had not had any voice in the decision itself.

Knowing the altitude we ought to be flying at and empowering others to fly at their altitude with minimal interference is a part of our intentionality – and the intentionality of others. If frequent interference is needed we either have someone who is not competent to fly at their altitude or we have not learned how to empower others appropriately.

One of the secrets to being able to fly at your altitude is to build a team around you that can take care of issues that you are frankly not good at. I am really terrible at small details: they take me too much time, fall between the cracks and slow me down. Having an administrative assistant who loves details and gets them done in a heartbeat is huge for me. The better the team we can build around us the more possible it is for us to stay in our sweet spot and fly at our correct altitude.

The leadership discipline of paying attention

It was a few years ago that an American submarine off of Hawaii managed to blow to the surface and smash into a Japanese fishing boat. Note to self: before surfacing, put up the periscope and look around! Carefully!

Healthy leaders pay close attention to what is going on around them. They regularly look around, ask questions, look in the closets and drawers as it were to understand the climate, mood, realities and issues that their team or organization faces.

Not to do so is to invite unhappy surprises! A pastor realizes one day that his staff have gone south on him and he has a coup on his hands (it happens). An organizational leader finds out that members of their board are unhappy. A team leader realizes that a staff member is undermining him or her in an unhealthy way. Or, something is going on that has the potential to create a crisis - like the submarine taking out the hull of the fishing vessel.

Organizational or team culture requires vigilance and care. Leaders who ignore threats to the culture are likely to pay a price for their lack of attention. The submarine captain lost his job!

I have watched leaders ignore significant staff discontent or lack of alignment because they didn't want to face an unpleasant reality. In the end they lost leadership capital because it was obvious to staff that their leader was not dealing with real issues in the organization that needed attention.

Some leaders are so self absorbed that they are clueless to what is actually going on around them. Then they feel betrayed when they realize that a collision has occurred. If they had been looking around and paying attention, they would not have been surprised.

Wise leaders ask questions and look for honest feedback in order to understand where people are at. Leaders who are threatened by honest feedback don't and find out what is going on the hard way.

Organizational culture and health is one of the primary responsibilities of leaders. But you have to look around and know what is on the water! Keep your periscope up and avoid surprises.

Six questions ministry leaders ought to ask regularly

Periodically it is helpful to ask the question: What can I do raise the bar in my effectiveness?

It is incremental gains in our effectiveness which make a big difference over time. These do not need to be large changes but all of us ought to be making changes on a regular basis. Consider these questions:

What do I need to focus on more closely to drive our mission forward?

Circumstances, needs and opportunities change over time. It is a mistake to simply think that if I do the same things that I always did that I will be maximizing my impact. In fact, not asking this question is what causes us to "get into a rut" rather than staying fresh.

What am I doing that I should give up?

We ought to be able and willing to give something up to others. You cannot take on new responsibilities or refocus your priorities without making room by giving something else up. Not doing this becomes a trap that leads to burnout and over-commitment  You give up what others can do and what you do not have to do, whether to volunteers or other staff.

How can I organize my time for greater effectiveness?

Time is the most precious commodity we have and is the one thing we can never get back. Almost all of us can make modifications for how we organize our time which would allow us to accomplish more without working more. Consider looking through your schedule and seeing where you are actually spending your time. Does it reflect the priorities you want it to? What changes would help you be more effective?

How can I work smarter, not longer?

Most of us in ministry already work too long. The question is how can we work smarter, accomplish more but not work longer? Often if we would take a few hours to think about what we do and how we do it we would realize that there are alternative ways to get certain things done that would free up time for more important priorities.

What am I going to do to stay sharp?

Intentional growth is a non-negotiable for those who want the get the advantage and stay sharp. Do you know where you need to develop and do you have a plan for that development? None of us are exempt from that need.

Are there specific challenges I believe my ministry is going to face that I need to be aware of?

Every ministry has specific challenges that it is likely to face. Thinking ahead about the challenges you are likely to face allows you to consider how you will potentially respond to those challenges.

Good leaders are flexible leaders

Leaders with good EQ are both self defined and flexible. Their self definition becomes a compass directionally but within that direction they are highly flexible. For some, leadership is telling others what they will do and getting their way. For healthy leaders, direction setting includes other key stakeholders and then they are flexible on the strategies needed to go in that direction.

Most issues where leaders are inflexible and need to be right or get their own way are not worth the inflexibility. The very reason that church leadership was designed as a team, for instance, goes to the value of the counsel of multiple wise leaders. Most of the hills leaders choose to die on cause blood to be shed – rarely their own – for causes not worth dying for.

This is where being self defined but able to invite dialogue and stay in relationship becomes so important. Without this it is our way or the highway. With this it is possible to come to a corporate strategy to move in the direction that has been set.

Many of the conflicts that leaders find themselves in are a direct result of either poor self definition or inflexibility to negotiate a common course of action. Good leaders are highly flexible and are masters at helping other good people come to a common strategy on ministry that allows the ministry to move in the preferred direction. Black and while individuals, on the other hand tend to polarize rather than bring people together.

I recently watched a senior pastor lose a number of staff, key leaders and volunteers from his church because of inflexibility over issues that could easily have been avoided and which were hills not worth dying on. Rather than bring a group together to help find a common consensus, he found it necessary to personally define what would happen and in the end lost key supporters in the church. His lack of flexibility and black and white thinking caused polarity rather than inclusiveness which ended in great and unnecessary pain.

There are issues that are non-negotiables for leaders in order to achieve missional effectiveness. Most are not. The flexibility we have is a sign of good EQ - or lack of it.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Spiritual depth and Christian leadership

King Saul, in the Old Testament is a great example of a leader who started well but neglected the practices of a deeply influential leader leading to a terrible finish. In his early years, he looked and acted like a king. He was described as “an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites – a head taller than any of the others” (1 Samuel 9:2). In the early years of his reign he pulled off some impressive victories but early on there were signs that all was not well.

Saul started to believe that his leadership was about him rather than about a stewardship given him by God to us on His behalf. He ignored the prophet Samuel's instructions, and over time his leadership deteriorated, his heart showed the shallowness that it really was (even trying to kill David), until he himself lost his life on the battle field.

While Saul started impressively, it was the lack of depth in his spiritual life, the lack of wisdom in decision making that resulted in his long term decline in leadership effectiveness. He made poor decisions, took on bad advisers, displayed terrible emotional intelligence and undermined his own leadership as a result. Saul operated from a shallow rather than a deep place.

In an interesting comparison between the description on Saul an “an impressive young man,” when the prophet Samuel was instructed by God to go to Bethlehem to anoint one of the sons of Jesse (1 Samuel 16), he arrived and immediately assumed that Eliab must be the one (he looked like kingly material). “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’”(1 Samuel 16: 7). Instead of Eliab and the others, God had chosen the youngest, David, who was out tending sheep at the time which indicated his lowly position as the youngest.

God has an intriguing way of choosing leaders that would not be natural from the world’s point of view. Whether a Deborah during the time of the Judges, Paul, a former persecutor of the church, the disciples, many of whom would not be chosen to change the world, Joseph, a former convict, Moses, a “has been” who came into leadership with a felon record and from leading sheep for forty years, and the list could go on.

What God is looking for is depth of heart, faith, and wisdom that comes from the deep places in the inner self. The difference between Saul and David is startling and central to that difference is the deep inner well of spiritual depth that characterized David. This depth was evident even at an early age when it was he who took on Goliath (age 16 or so) but was deepened during the years between his anointing as King and the death of Saul when he became the leader of Judah and then Israel.

The books of 1 and 2nd Samuel are deeply instructive for those who want to lead well. Clearly David was a highly gifted leader. He engendered great loyalty from those he led, he was strategic in his leadership moves, undaunted by adversity and tenacious in reaching his goals. We know, however, from the Psalms that there was a rare inner depth which came from his relationship and dependence on God. One wonders where David found the time to go this deep spiritually when he was also the CEO of Israel but clearly he did. And the long term effectiveness of David when compared to Saul tells the story of why this matters.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.