Organizations face change in predictable situations. That change - often brought by a new leader must be done in ways that minimize the anxiety and uncertainty to staff and constituents. That means that good process must be run, input sought, dialogue practiced and there are no great surprises. Even with this, however, needed change is hard and often causes anxiety among leaders, staff and boards.
In major organizational change it is not unusual that some people choose to leave or are let go. This is normal. Often, those individuals have alliances, friendships or relationships with others who take up their case and put pressure on the powers that be to change their minds. This is normal. If both of these are normal, we ought not allow their presence to cause anxiety or concern. It is an inevitable part of the change process.
In major organizational change it is not unusual for those who don't like the change to make their gripes public. This is normal. They are unhappy and are likely to take it out on the leader who is bringing changes to the organization. Assuming that this leader is bringing change with sensitivity and concern for those involved, there is no reason to back down simply because unhappy voices are heard. They are usually responding out of fear rather than animosity. It is a normal part of the change process.
Change brings with it a need for people to make choices about their ongoing participation in the organization. Long time leaders may choose to leave - graciously or ungraciously. Often staff and boards take this as a sign that there is something fundamentally wrong with the changes taking place. Not necessarily! It is often simply that they don't want to make the personal changes they would have to make to fit into the new paradigm. That is not good or bad but simply a decision as to how they respond to the new paradigms. This is normal and to be expected. Even board members may choose to exit as they realize that it is a new day with new leadership and new paradigms. Again, this is normal.
Major organizational changes can bring a high level of anxiety to an organization. Most people are by nature change adverse - middle and late adapters, and laggards. Change brings uncertainty and uncertainty makes many uncomfortable and discomfort causes a level of dysfunction as the ground seems to be shifting for those who love stability. In these times of change there can be a high level of angst among staff. This is normal. Indeed, there is no way to negotiate change without angst and uncertainty.
The common thread here is that these responses to change are normal and should be expected. In addition, they are not a sign that the organization is failing or falling apart. If anything they are signs that necessary changes are underway (organizations that do not change die) and that someone with courage is leading. As long as good process is being followed (and that is a big deal), we should not be intimidated by push back to change. It will happen, it is normal and it is the price of bringing needed change.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Monday, February 9, 2015
15 life giving behaviors of healthy leaders
There are some life giving behaviors that good leaders engage in and live by. It is what sets them apart from other leaders, gives them great credibility and earns them the loyalty of their staff. It is also what makes their ministry or team successful. I say life giving because they give life to people and to the mission of the team or organization.
One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission, not on themselves. While relationships are critical the best glue is missional glue.
Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower rather then control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact they intentionally look for people who are better than they are in the areas they lead.
Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowering and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front and they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.
Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen and leaders know that if it happens on their watch they need to take responsibility. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations but in public, there is no blame.
Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues that are not dealt with hurt staff and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the tough places.
Six: Good leaders build a healthy life giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, common mission, cooperation and humility.
Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position and lead the way by example.
Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture.
Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'
Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is important. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.
Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit. It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and who are totally non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.
Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table as well as greater by-in. Few truly good staff will stay long term without having a voice at the table.
Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.
Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. It is critical to the ministry to develop the next generation of leaders.
Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to leave.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission, not on themselves. While relationships are critical the best glue is missional glue.
Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower rather then control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact they intentionally look for people who are better than they are in the areas they lead.
Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowering and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front and they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.
Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen and leaders know that if it happens on their watch they need to take responsibility. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations but in public, there is no blame.
Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues that are not dealt with hurt staff and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the tough places.
Six: Good leaders build a healthy life giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, common mission, cooperation and humility.
Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position and lead the way by example.
Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture.
Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'
Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is important. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.
Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit. It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and who are totally non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.
Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table as well as greater by-in. Few truly good staff will stay long term without having a voice at the table.
Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.
Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. It is critical to the ministry to develop the next generation of leaders.
Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to leave.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
The art of lifting others up rather than lifting ourselves up
I am convinced that the true test of humility and servanthood is that of lifting other up, helping them succeed and flourish rather than lifting ourselves up. Jesus modeled this when He made it clear that He was about His Father's business and everything He did was to make His Father look good. What is amazing is that Jesus was part of the Godhead and yet he continually lifted the Father up.
All of us have emotional needs and egos. It is hard to lift up others at our expense - and I am convinced that this is a result of the fall and our need to be number one and the one in the spotlight. Yet, what is most important is not our own ego needs but that we make Jesus well known and His reputation great. It is never about us so why do we make it about us?
When Paul talks about treating others as more important than ourselves he is both emulating the example of Jesus and teaching us how important is is to focus on others rather than ourselves. The lower nature focuses on us. The fruit of the Spirit focuses on others more than ourselves. A mark of maturity is our willingness and desire to see others succeed rather than ourselves be in the limelight.
I don't pretend this is easy. Our pride wants to trumpet ourselves. Humility trumpets others. Our pride wants the credit. Humility gives credit away. Our pride wants the spotlight. Humility gives the spotlight to others. Why? Because what matters in the end is not our celebrity but our influence for Jesus. For most of us, that influence is behind the scenes and seeks to lift others up rather than ourselves.
This is a battle most of us who are in leadership will fight all of our lives. I want to win that battle. After all, life is not about me. It is all about Jesus. To the extent that I get that and live that I will be successful. Ironically, to the extent that I promote myself I will be unhappy and unsuccessful because the more self promotion we do the more we need. We choose which path we take. Either life is about us or it is not.
Staff know which route leaders take. They know when it is about the leader and they know when it is about the leader doing all they can to make them successful. We may fool ourselves but we never fool those we lead. Hopefully we don't fool ourselves either! It indicates our pride or our humility.
Ironically, the more we lift others up the greater our influence for the Kingdom. In doing so we multiply ourselves.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of us have emotional needs and egos. It is hard to lift up others at our expense - and I am convinced that this is a result of the fall and our need to be number one and the one in the spotlight. Yet, what is most important is not our own ego needs but that we make Jesus well known and His reputation great. It is never about us so why do we make it about us?
When Paul talks about treating others as more important than ourselves he is both emulating the example of Jesus and teaching us how important is is to focus on others rather than ourselves. The lower nature focuses on us. The fruit of the Spirit focuses on others more than ourselves. A mark of maturity is our willingness and desire to see others succeed rather than ourselves be in the limelight.
I don't pretend this is easy. Our pride wants to trumpet ourselves. Humility trumpets others. Our pride wants the credit. Humility gives credit away. Our pride wants the spotlight. Humility gives the spotlight to others. Why? Because what matters in the end is not our celebrity but our influence for Jesus. For most of us, that influence is behind the scenes and seeks to lift others up rather than ourselves.
This is a battle most of us who are in leadership will fight all of our lives. I want to win that battle. After all, life is not about me. It is all about Jesus. To the extent that I get that and live that I will be successful. Ironically, to the extent that I promote myself I will be unhappy and unsuccessful because the more self promotion we do the more we need. We choose which path we take. Either life is about us or it is not.
Staff know which route leaders take. They know when it is about the leader and they know when it is about the leader doing all they can to make them successful. We may fool ourselves but we never fool those we lead. Hopefully we don't fool ourselves either! It indicates our pride or our humility.
Ironically, the more we lift others up the greater our influence for the Kingdom. In doing so we multiply ourselves.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
The most difficult conversations
The most difficult conversations that we need to have often fill us with anxiety and angst. The possibility of conflict or anger can give us knots in our stomach. Yet, the most difficult conversations are often the most important and most people can learn how to navigate them. This is what I have learned about that navigation.
First, it is important to separate our relationship (good or bad) with the individual we are talking to from the issue at hand. Issues are neutral, just what currently is and it is the issue that we want to focus on. This takes it out of the realm of relationship and focuses the conversation where it really belongs.
Second, It is important to be clear on what issue(s) one is going to address. Clarity in these conversations is very important. Rather than beating around the bush it is important to clearly state the issue in a definitive way. "My concerns are that you are not paying attention to the team you are leading which is causing conflict among team members," for example. Before you talk, be sure that you can clearly articulate what your concerns are and that we have thought through how you will present the concerns in a way that will be clearly understood.
Third, manage your emotions. This is not always easy but to the extent that one can have a conversation around issues without it becoming emotional on your part you are far more likely to have a productive conversation. Emotions elevate the tension in the room while keeping them under control brings the tension down. The one we are talking to may get emotional but our job is to keep our emotions under control.
Fourth, state facts as you see them but do not go to motivations. We never truly know motivations and even if we suspect they are problematic it is best to keep to facts. When addressing things that you suspect to be true but don't know say something like, "My perception is that you do not enjoy leading a team which is why you have not paid it proper attention, is that correct?" This gets at the issue but avoids making a definitive statement that may or may not be true and it invites a response which should lead to a dialogue.
Fifth, invite a response. You might say, "These are the issues that concern me, how do you see it?" This allows a conversation to begin which can lead to some kind of clarity through the next strategy.
Sixth, ask questions, listen carefully and don't interrupt. Questions invite exploration of the issues at hand. Listening shows respect - and it may take some patience. If you don't agree with the perspective of the other individual don't debate them, Rather, simply restate how you see it. Unhealthy individuals will often try to rope you in to a debate because they can manipulate through wearing you down. Don't go there. Simply restate what you believe to be true. One interesting question to ask is, "If you were in my shoes, how would you handle this?"
Seven, ask them to think through your concerns and that you desire a further conversation to bring the issue to resolution. If you have already thought through the options you are willing to put on the table state these clearly. Don't beat around the bush, just clearly state the options you see as possible. If what you want is a resignation, make the options as unattractive as possible.
If I could name one thing that is absolutely critical in these conversations it is maximum clarity. We often fail to be absolutely clear out of fear but clarity is what the other party needs if there is going to be resolution. Ambiguity on our part invites an ambiguous response.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
First, it is important to separate our relationship (good or bad) with the individual we are talking to from the issue at hand. Issues are neutral, just what currently is and it is the issue that we want to focus on. This takes it out of the realm of relationship and focuses the conversation where it really belongs.
Second, It is important to be clear on what issue(s) one is going to address. Clarity in these conversations is very important. Rather than beating around the bush it is important to clearly state the issue in a definitive way. "My concerns are that you are not paying attention to the team you are leading which is causing conflict among team members," for example. Before you talk, be sure that you can clearly articulate what your concerns are and that we have thought through how you will present the concerns in a way that will be clearly understood.
Third, manage your emotions. This is not always easy but to the extent that one can have a conversation around issues without it becoming emotional on your part you are far more likely to have a productive conversation. Emotions elevate the tension in the room while keeping them under control brings the tension down. The one we are talking to may get emotional but our job is to keep our emotions under control.
Fourth, state facts as you see them but do not go to motivations. We never truly know motivations and even if we suspect they are problematic it is best to keep to facts. When addressing things that you suspect to be true but don't know say something like, "My perception is that you do not enjoy leading a team which is why you have not paid it proper attention, is that correct?" This gets at the issue but avoids making a definitive statement that may or may not be true and it invites a response which should lead to a dialogue.
Fifth, invite a response. You might say, "These are the issues that concern me, how do you see it?" This allows a conversation to begin which can lead to some kind of clarity through the next strategy.
Sixth, ask questions, listen carefully and don't interrupt. Questions invite exploration of the issues at hand. Listening shows respect - and it may take some patience. If you don't agree with the perspective of the other individual don't debate them, Rather, simply restate how you see it. Unhealthy individuals will often try to rope you in to a debate because they can manipulate through wearing you down. Don't go there. Simply restate what you believe to be true. One interesting question to ask is, "If you were in my shoes, how would you handle this?"
Seven, ask them to think through your concerns and that you desire a further conversation to bring the issue to resolution. If you have already thought through the options you are willing to put on the table state these clearly. Don't beat around the bush, just clearly state the options you see as possible. If what you want is a resignation, make the options as unattractive as possible.
If I could name one thing that is absolutely critical in these conversations it is maximum clarity. We often fail to be absolutely clear out of fear but clarity is what the other party needs if there is going to be resolution. Ambiguity on our part invites an ambiguous response.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
leave when they want you to stay rather than when they want you to leave
One of the toughest issues for leaders is to know when to leave. In both the church and broader ministry world I have watched way to many leaders stay beyond their effectiveness and literally have to be pushed out of their leadership role because they hang onto it so tenaciously. Many around them know it is time but they refuse to acknowledge that. It puts both the board and the organization in a tough place. How do we move a leader on who needs to move on?
A friend recently observed that if we leave when our constituency wants to stay we are always welcome back. On the other hand if we leave when they finally convince you to leave the situation is much different because we have overstayed our welcome and created issues in the process.
How do we know when it is time? First when we have taken the ministry as far as we can take it there is no question it is time. We may have literally run out of ideas and ability to take the ministry to the next level. That is not a criticism of us it is just the reality of how we are wired. We have done what we could do and now it is time for someone else to step in who has the ability to take what we have led to the next level.
Second, when we start to get feedback from staff that we are not moving ahead and they get restless we need to pay close attention. Staff are a barometer of how we are doing in many cases. Often leaders feel this restlessness from their staff but choose not to give them permission to speak candidly and honestly to us. Thus they may be talking to one another but not to us, not because they would not if asked but because we have not given them permission. We become the last ones to know what they are really thinking.
Third, since most of us report to a board if we are in a senior position there needs to be an opportunity from time to time to candidly discuss our leadership and how we are doing as leaders. Don't wait to have this discussion when things are going badly. Start this discussion when things are going well in order to establish a culture where honest and candid dialogue can take place. That allows us to talk together over time which makes it more likely we can be honest about our leadership.
There is a key principle that all leaders need to understand but that many do not. What we lead does not belong to us. We are stewards for a season. Seasons have a beginning and an end. And as stewards rather than owners we need to place the needs of the ministry above our own preferences or desires. Knowing when to leave a ministry is about understanding what the ministry needs rather than what we want. That is a crucial distinction.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
A friend recently observed that if we leave when our constituency wants to stay we are always welcome back. On the other hand if we leave when they finally convince you to leave the situation is much different because we have overstayed our welcome and created issues in the process.
How do we know when it is time? First when we have taken the ministry as far as we can take it there is no question it is time. We may have literally run out of ideas and ability to take the ministry to the next level. That is not a criticism of us it is just the reality of how we are wired. We have done what we could do and now it is time for someone else to step in who has the ability to take what we have led to the next level.
Second, when we start to get feedback from staff that we are not moving ahead and they get restless we need to pay close attention. Staff are a barometer of how we are doing in many cases. Often leaders feel this restlessness from their staff but choose not to give them permission to speak candidly and honestly to us. Thus they may be talking to one another but not to us, not because they would not if asked but because we have not given them permission. We become the last ones to know what they are really thinking.
Third, since most of us report to a board if we are in a senior position there needs to be an opportunity from time to time to candidly discuss our leadership and how we are doing as leaders. Don't wait to have this discussion when things are going badly. Start this discussion when things are going well in order to establish a culture where honest and candid dialogue can take place. That allows us to talk together over time which makes it more likely we can be honest about our leadership.
There is a key principle that all leaders need to understand but that many do not. What we lead does not belong to us. We are stewards for a season. Seasons have a beginning and an end. And as stewards rather than owners we need to place the needs of the ministry above our own preferences or desires. Knowing when to leave a ministry is about understanding what the ministry needs rather than what we want. That is a crucial distinction.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
The secret sauce to long term ministry success. It may not be what you think
What is the secret sauce to long term ministry success. It is not strategy. It is not brilliance. It is not the latest idea from a high profile ministry leader. It is not the ability to gather a large number of people.
There are three components that make up the secret sauce of long term ministry success: The right people, trusting relationships and shared values. With those three ingredients there is no telling what can happen.
The right people are those who are good at what they do, team focused, kingdom minded and humble. That last descriptor is a non-negotiable because without humility there will not be team and collaboration.
Trusting relationships built over time are critical for long term success. Such relationships are built by time together, common objectives, a humble stance that values other members of the team and cares about the whole more than my part.
Then there is the key ingredient of shared values. This is one of the most absent ingredients in ministry organizations. Shared values are like cement in an organization. They also provide the non-negotiables that everyone is committed to. As Henry Cloud says so well, "Leaders get what they create or allow." Culture is created by shared values and where those are clear the secret sauce is present.
We often go after strategies and doing things before we create the environment or ethos that can make those strategies successful. The secret sauce must precede action. Where it does not one gets confusion and often ministry conflict. Get the sauce right and there is significant potential.
There are three components that make up the secret sauce of long term ministry success: The right people, trusting relationships and shared values. With those three ingredients there is no telling what can happen.
The right people are those who are good at what they do, team focused, kingdom minded and humble. That last descriptor is a non-negotiable because without humility there will not be team and collaboration.
Trusting relationships built over time are critical for long term success. Such relationships are built by time together, common objectives, a humble stance that values other members of the team and cares about the whole more than my part.
Then there is the key ingredient of shared values. This is one of the most absent ingredients in ministry organizations. Shared values are like cement in an organization. They also provide the non-negotiables that everyone is committed to. As Henry Cloud says so well, "Leaders get what they create or allow." Culture is created by shared values and where those are clear the secret sauce is present.
We often go after strategies and doing things before we create the environment or ethos that can make those strategies successful. The secret sauce must precede action. Where it does not one gets confusion and often ministry conflict. Get the sauce right and there is significant potential.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
IF can be a dangerous word
How often we think, "If I had...., If things had been different..., If I had known..." Or some variation on that. There are all kinds of ifs in life but none that matter much. They don't matter because we need to live in reality, with what is, rather than what might have been.
In fact, If can be a dangerous word because it allows us to live in the world of what is not rather than what is. As someone has wisely said, "Don't resaw the sawdust." It is a waste of time. What is not a waste of time is focusing on what is and how we make the most of what God has given us.
This applies to leadership as well. "If that gift had come in...., If that individual had not done what they did....and the list goes on. Leaders don't deal in ifs but in reality whether good or bad. When we deal in reality we can focus our attention on what we need to do today rather than what we wish had been the case in the past.
Wise individuals leave the ifs alone and deal with the present reality. They don't live in the what if world but in the current reality.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
In fact, If can be a dangerous word because it allows us to live in the world of what is not rather than what is. As someone has wisely said, "Don't resaw the sawdust." It is a waste of time. What is not a waste of time is focusing on what is and how we make the most of what God has given us.
This applies to leadership as well. "If that gift had come in...., If that individual had not done what they did....and the list goes on. Leaders don't deal in ifs but in reality whether good or bad. When we deal in reality we can focus our attention on what we need to do today rather than what we wish had been the case in the past.
Wise individuals leave the ifs alone and deal with the present reality. They don't live in the what if world but in the current reality.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Every ministry architect needs a general contractor
If there is a secret to the significant change that the EFCA mission has walked through in the past eleven years it is that I did not attempt to do it alone but was joined at the hip with another - and then surrounded by a great senior team. Let me explain.
Like many leaders I am what I call an architect by wiring. God has given me the ability to see what can be and look five to ten years in the future. Like an architect I can envision what the ministry could be and the macro pieces that will be needed to see it happen. God has given the ability to think conceptually - which is what architects do. Many senior leaders have similar wiring. It is simply how God made me.
Architects, however have a different skill set than does a general contractor. Those who are wired as general contractors have the unique ability to take what the architect has drawn and ensure that it is translated into reality. Architects draw pictures while general contractors run process, hire sub contractors and make sure that the right thing is done at the right time so that things are done in order and properly. No architect is successful without a requisite general contractor and general contractors rely on the architect for the picture of what could be.
If you translate this into my world as a senior leader who paints the picture I need a general contractor who can help translate that picture into reality by finding the right people and running the right process to build what is on the picture one step at a time. If the skill of the architect is the picture, the skill of the general contractor is process.
Ministry leaders like me need a general contractor like my sidekick Gary Hunter whose complimentary skills in running process can bring a ministry structure and strategy to reality. The partnership between myself and Gary were and are critical in building a fabulous senior team and running the change process we have been through. I could not have done it alone and I never ignore the counsel of my partner.
Senior leaders who operate without a partner to help build what they envision find themselves in trouble on a regular basis. The two skills are different but both are necessary to see success. It takes a non-threatened senior leader, however, because the general contractor's influence is found throughout the ministry. They may not be in front but they make it happen.
If you are a senior leader, do you have a general contractor beside you whom you work with, listen to and empower? If not you are missing one of the key secrets of long term success.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Like many leaders I am what I call an architect by wiring. God has given me the ability to see what can be and look five to ten years in the future. Like an architect I can envision what the ministry could be and the macro pieces that will be needed to see it happen. God has given the ability to think conceptually - which is what architects do. Many senior leaders have similar wiring. It is simply how God made me.
Architects, however have a different skill set than does a general contractor. Those who are wired as general contractors have the unique ability to take what the architect has drawn and ensure that it is translated into reality. Architects draw pictures while general contractors run process, hire sub contractors and make sure that the right thing is done at the right time so that things are done in order and properly. No architect is successful without a requisite general contractor and general contractors rely on the architect for the picture of what could be.
If you translate this into my world as a senior leader who paints the picture I need a general contractor who can help translate that picture into reality by finding the right people and running the right process to build what is on the picture one step at a time. If the skill of the architect is the picture, the skill of the general contractor is process.
Ministry leaders like me need a general contractor like my sidekick Gary Hunter whose complimentary skills in running process can bring a ministry structure and strategy to reality. The partnership between myself and Gary were and are critical in building a fabulous senior team and running the change process we have been through. I could not have done it alone and I never ignore the counsel of my partner.
Senior leaders who operate without a partner to help build what they envision find themselves in trouble on a regular basis. The two skills are different but both are necessary to see success. It takes a non-threatened senior leader, however, because the general contractor's influence is found throughout the ministry. They may not be in front but they make it happen.
If you are a senior leader, do you have a general contractor beside you whom you work with, listen to and empower? If not you are missing one of the key secrets of long term success.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Taking the long view of ministry strategy and results
A key factor in ministry success is whether we take a short or long term view regarding our plans and strategies. Many leaders are impatient and reactive and in their pursuit of ministry success they chase strategies that yield quick results at the cost of long term success.
A long term view of ministry results recognizes that you must lay a strong foundation upon which to build for lasting results. This includes finding the right people (staff or volunteers) who can help you get to your destination and creating a healthy results oriented culture in which the staff works. A third component of the foundation is having absolute clarity about what you are about, what your goals are and how you intend to get there. The right staff, a healthy culture and ministry clarity take time but any shortcuts here will short change your long term success.
Even with these three components in place, any strong ministry strategy must be built carefully and systematically. All too often we tend to substitute action (lets get going) for the hard work of thinking through philosophy and strategy that will yield long term results. The better the thinking on the front end, the better the results in the end. This is particularly true when your work involves change from the past. The process you choose will determine whether it is permanent change or a blip on the screen.
What gets in the way of building a strong foundation? First, we are often way too impatient to see something happen and shortchange the work we need to do to ensure that what we are building is built to last. Second, the foundational work is frankly hard work. It requires time, thinking and dialogue with the right people to put in place the framework for what you are trying to build. It is easy to default to action without the requisite deep thinking and analysis that good strategy requires. Third, too often we are chasing quick wins and while nice, quick ends usually don't yield long term results.
There is an ironic twist to the many conferences we go to in order to learn the secrets of success - often put on by large churches. They got where they are in most cases by a deliberate process of moving in the same direction toward a strategic goal. They did the work to ensure it lasted which is why their success was years in the making. We want to emulate them so we quickly rip off their strategies - forgetting that it was not the program or specific strategy that got them to where they are but a deliberate journey of clarity, patience, deep thinking and a long term strategy to achieve long term results.
Long term success takes longer than short term wins. It also yields way more fruit than the latter. It is harder, slower, more work but ultimately it wins hands down in ministry results.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
A long term view of ministry results recognizes that you must lay a strong foundation upon which to build for lasting results. This includes finding the right people (staff or volunteers) who can help you get to your destination and creating a healthy results oriented culture in which the staff works. A third component of the foundation is having absolute clarity about what you are about, what your goals are and how you intend to get there. The right staff, a healthy culture and ministry clarity take time but any shortcuts here will short change your long term success.
Even with these three components in place, any strong ministry strategy must be built carefully and systematically. All too often we tend to substitute action (lets get going) for the hard work of thinking through philosophy and strategy that will yield long term results. The better the thinking on the front end, the better the results in the end. This is particularly true when your work involves change from the past. The process you choose will determine whether it is permanent change or a blip on the screen.
What gets in the way of building a strong foundation? First, we are often way too impatient to see something happen and shortchange the work we need to do to ensure that what we are building is built to last. Second, the foundational work is frankly hard work. It requires time, thinking and dialogue with the right people to put in place the framework for what you are trying to build. It is easy to default to action without the requisite deep thinking and analysis that good strategy requires. Third, too often we are chasing quick wins and while nice, quick ends usually don't yield long term results.
There is an ironic twist to the many conferences we go to in order to learn the secrets of success - often put on by large churches. They got where they are in most cases by a deliberate process of moving in the same direction toward a strategic goal. They did the work to ensure it lasted which is why their success was years in the making. We want to emulate them so we quickly rip off their strategies - forgetting that it was not the program or specific strategy that got them to where they are but a deliberate journey of clarity, patience, deep thinking and a long term strategy to achieve long term results.
Long term success takes longer than short term wins. It also yields way more fruit than the latter. It is harder, slower, more work but ultimately it wins hands down in ministry results.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
If you want to know how healthy your leader is, check the health of the staff. It tells the story.
Because our own health as leaders spills out into those we lead a key indicator of a leader's health is the health of their staff. Is the staff culture healthy or toxic? Is it functional or dysfunctional? Are staff relatively happy and engaged or relatively unhappy and disengaged. If a leader has led for any length of time, the ethos and culture of their staff is a prime indicator of their own health.
I regularly talk to ministry staff members who describe toxic, fearful and unhappy staff cultures. What they often don't realize is that they are describing the dishealth of their leader. Church and ministry boards for the most part don't get this. They are all too willing to overlook unhealthy and toxic staff cultures as if all is well. The truth is it is not all well. Nor is the senior leader.
Staff cultures almost always reflect the health of the leader. This is why it is critical to have ways to ascertain the relative health of staff members and not to simply take the word of the leader. Controlling leaders control their staff. Dysfunctional leaders create dysfunction on their staff. Insecure leaders shut down candid discussion on their staff. Driven leaders create staff cultures where staff member always feel inadequate - because their leader does. Grace filled leaders create cultures of grace and empowering leaders create cultures of trust and release people to use their gifting and intellectual capital. Staff cultures almost always reflect the health of dishealth of the leader.
This also means that where staff cultures are unhealthy, boards ought to pay close attention. Of course it presupposes that boards have a desire and way to monitor the health of the staff. Many don't.
Every board ought to have a way to keep its finger on the health of staff because in doing so they not only protect the staff where necessary but they also get a read on the health of their leader. Good leaders create healthy staff cultures of empowerment, grace, candid conversation and trust. Unhealthy leaders create cultures of mistrust, control, lack of clarity and bureaucracy. There is a big difference.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
I regularly talk to ministry staff members who describe toxic, fearful and unhappy staff cultures. What they often don't realize is that they are describing the dishealth of their leader. Church and ministry boards for the most part don't get this. They are all too willing to overlook unhealthy and toxic staff cultures as if all is well. The truth is it is not all well. Nor is the senior leader.
Staff cultures almost always reflect the health of the leader. This is why it is critical to have ways to ascertain the relative health of staff members and not to simply take the word of the leader. Controlling leaders control their staff. Dysfunctional leaders create dysfunction on their staff. Insecure leaders shut down candid discussion on their staff. Driven leaders create staff cultures where staff member always feel inadequate - because their leader does. Grace filled leaders create cultures of grace and empowering leaders create cultures of trust and release people to use their gifting and intellectual capital. Staff cultures almost always reflect the health of dishealth of the leader.
This also means that where staff cultures are unhealthy, boards ought to pay close attention. Of course it presupposes that boards have a desire and way to monitor the health of the staff. Many don't.
Every board ought to have a way to keep its finger on the health of staff because in doing so they not only protect the staff where necessary but they also get a read on the health of their leader. Good leaders create healthy staff cultures of empowerment, grace, candid conversation and trust. Unhealthy leaders create cultures of mistrust, control, lack of clarity and bureaucracy. There is a big difference.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Leading in the hard times
Leadership is not always what it is cracked up to be. Especially in the hard times when knotty issues must be confronted, staff situations resolved and perhaps the most painful of all, personal attacks endured. Leadership is not for the faint of heart or the easily discouraged.
What separates those who lead well in hard times from those who don't?
First, those who lead well in hard times do not tend to take the situations as personally as others. Not that it is easy or comfortable. It helps, however, to realize that we are often targets because people disagree with our decisions or don't fully understand situations we cannot be candid about. The price of leadership is that we will be misunderstood at times and that we will be a target because of decisions we must make.
Second, leadership in hard times is easier when we keep our anxiety low. Anxiety is wasted energy. If we will take the time to gain perspective from others and from God we can usually respond with greater wisdom than when we respond on the fly - or out of anxiety and anger. That is a skill that can be learned even when it is not native to our skill set.
Third, leading in the hard times is easier when we take a long view rather than a short view. In the moment there may be uncertainty and pain and conflict. In the long term good decisions yield health and effectiveness. Thinking long term allows us to weather the short term discomfort. In fact, those who think short term often respond poorly to hard issues because they are not willing to live with short term pain for long term gain.
Fourth, leading in hard times is easier when we trust in God's sovereignty. Sure, not all things are solved this side of heaven. At the same time, God has a way of working things out when we respond in a measured and wise way rather than allowing our emotions to hijack our actions in unhealthy ways.
Leading in the hard times is actually one of the fundamental ways that leaders grow and mature: If we respond with wisdom rather than with emotion.
What separates those who lead well in hard times from those who don't?
First, those who lead well in hard times do not tend to take the situations as personally as others. Not that it is easy or comfortable. It helps, however, to realize that we are often targets because people disagree with our decisions or don't fully understand situations we cannot be candid about. The price of leadership is that we will be misunderstood at times and that we will be a target because of decisions we must make.
Second, leadership in hard times is easier when we keep our anxiety low. Anxiety is wasted energy. If we will take the time to gain perspective from others and from God we can usually respond with greater wisdom than when we respond on the fly - or out of anxiety and anger. That is a skill that can be learned even when it is not native to our skill set.
Third, leading in the hard times is easier when we take a long view rather than a short view. In the moment there may be uncertainty and pain and conflict. In the long term good decisions yield health and effectiveness. Thinking long term allows us to weather the short term discomfort. In fact, those who think short term often respond poorly to hard issues because they are not willing to live with short term pain for long term gain.
Fourth, leading in hard times is easier when we trust in God's sovereignty. Sure, not all things are solved this side of heaven. At the same time, God has a way of working things out when we respond in a measured and wise way rather than allowing our emotions to hijack our actions in unhealthy ways.
Leading in the hard times is actually one of the fundamental ways that leaders grow and mature: If we respond with wisdom rather than with emotion.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Stepping into a new role? Think about the following twelve recommendations
How a new leader steps into a leadership role sets the tone for their new role. It can be a pastor stepping into a new church or a new role or another leadership change. How that transition is negotiated is a critical issue. It takes wisdom and discernment to transition well. A friend who is making such a transition asked me recently what I learned when I stepped into my current role about a decade ago. This was my advice.
One. Only make critical changes in the first year. It is usually wise to take a year to understand what is going on, who the players are and why things are the way they are. In other words, don't act too fast. The caveat is that there may be a critical change that needs to happen in order to move forward. Be willing to make critical changes but also be willing to be patient with others.
Two: Listen to everyone but think grey. Listening and understanding current staff and stakeholders is very important. However, existing staff and leaders will inevitably lobby a new leader for their point of view. Don't commit yourself but think grey where you listen, evaluate but keep an open mind.
Three: Share your vision for the future on a regular basis and dialogue with staff, leadership and constituencies. The operative words are share and dialogue. This is a time to share one's heart and to listen to others. Ultimately as a new leader you need to have a vision for the future. At the same time you need buy in for that vision so it is through dialogue that you together come to clarity.
Four: Watch for the various agendas but don't get roped into them. All organizations have agendas within them. Some are good and some are problematic. As a new leader you want to understand those agendas but you also don't want to get roped into them. Understanding the territory is critical but thinking grey leaves your options open.
Five: Have some trusted people you can talk to. Perspective is critical and wise leaders have people around them to help clarify issues, ask questions and give counsel. Transitional times have many pitfalls and one wants to avoid them if possible.
Six: Start looking for the people you need around you who can help you move the organization toward the future. New leaders usually need some new people around them who resonate with where they desire to go. The sooner you can get these key other leaders in place the better off you are. This is about developing a team around you who you trust, who are in alignment with you and who will work with you to synergistically get to where you need to go.
Seven: Evaluate how your predecessor did their job and how you want to do your job. Just because your predecessor did their job a certain way does not mean that you need to. That is important because they were not you and those you report to need to understand that you will be focusing on what you believe to be most important and it may well be different from the leader you follow.
Eight: Focus on the essential issues and not the many expectations that others will have for you. New leaders need to decide what is important and focus there. They also need to resist the pressure to do things as they were done or to meet the many expectations of those around them. This is where it is important to be self defining about what is important to you.
Nine: Evaluate all key staff under you for fit, competency and alignment. Even though it is wise not to make changes too quickly this is a time to evaluate key staff, get to know them and determine future fit. Had I gone with my gut coming into the organization I lead I would have made some wrong calls regarding staff (those who I thought who would not fit who did and those who I thought would fit and didn't). Taking the time to understand key staff will keep you from making assumptions that may be problematic.
Ten: Develop key relationships. All good leadership comes down to relationships because the best leadership is that of influence and influence is a matter of trust and relationship. Take the time before making significant changes to develop the needed relationships. It is the coinage you will need to make the changes.
Eleven: Always run process. Change is inevitable with new leadership but many new leaders hurt themselves badly when they don't do the above before those changes or run good process in making changes. Change without process significantly empties the bank of trust and that is a dangerous thing for a new leader who has not been in place long enough to fill the bank.
Twelve: Be reflective, prayerful and discerning about people, plans, agendas and timing. Usually time is on your side. Relax, watch, listen and talk with Jesus before acting.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Why unexpected disruptions in your ministry can be seen as a gift
Disruptions in our ministries are usually seen as negative things and sometimes that is exactly what they are, especially when they are caused by problematic behaviors. There is, however, another side to disruptions - positive or negative - to consider: They are often the catalyst for us to up our game and refocus our leadership. When things are going well it is easy to become complacent. When that complacency is disrupted by a surprise it is an opportunity to rethink, refocus, realign and reconsider.
I don't welcome disruptions but I have come to realize that every disruption is an opportunity to learn from, to rethink something, to refocus on something that I have probably not focused on for a while and even to rethink my paradigms. Think of these examples:
I don't welcome disruptions but I have come to realize that every disruption is an opportunity to learn from, to rethink something, to refocus on something that I have probably not focused on for a while and even to rethink my paradigms. Think of these examples:
- A key staff member leaves and it causes us to think carefully about the role they played, how we might configure differently or what we need in the future.
- A staff member behaves inappropriately toward the opposite sex and we are forced to evaluate our training, clarify our expectations and open a dialogue with our staff.
- A financial crisis occurs which prompts us to differentiate between critical ministries and ancillary ministries.
- Something happens that causes us to turn to God for wisdom and solutions, increasing our dependence on Him.
- Something brings conflict to the surface revealing a lack of alignment allowing us to clarify and align.
I could give many more examples but the point is that unexpected disruptions are often an opportunity in disguise - if we will see them as such and take advantage of them. They may be a nuisance but they can also be to our ultimate advantage.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
The genius of the great creeds of the church
Why the church creeds? They came out of a need in the early church to clarify the essential doctrines of the faith, combat error and teach new believers the great and indisputable truths of true faith. In addition, they unify the church around what is truly central and core rather than allowing the many peripheral doctrines of the faith that are not as clear to divide us.
Not all points of doctrine in Scripture are equally clear. I remember one of my beloved seminary professors who when speaking on issues he believed but which were not clearly spelled out would get louder and louder. We knew that the thinner the ice, the louder he was. There are simply some things that we believe that are not all that clearly spelled out - which is why there are various interpretations. An example is the teaching and beliefs around the second coming of Christ. The creeds remind us that Jesus is going to return physically to judge the living and the dead. That is what we do know. Many of the other details are a bit fuzzy.
I appreciate those who study doctrine to better understand the Scriptures, the nature of God, our own nature and all those topics that find there way into systematic theology. I don't appreciate when believers elevate their particular non essential elements of the faith to the place of dividing believers from one another. If all points of doctrine were equally clear we would not have differences but those differences should not divide believers who can subscribe to the great creeds of the faith - the grand outlines of what we know to be true - and which unify us.
It strikes me that in a world in which there are many more illiterate believers, that the creeds of the church ought to be taught more often or recited together as a congregation. I fear not only that we divide over non-essentials but that many don't understand the essentials. We can argue over the wrong things and we can be ignorant of the right things.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Not all points of doctrine in Scripture are equally clear. I remember one of my beloved seminary professors who when speaking on issues he believed but which were not clearly spelled out would get louder and louder. We knew that the thinner the ice, the louder he was. There are simply some things that we believe that are not all that clearly spelled out - which is why there are various interpretations. An example is the teaching and beliefs around the second coming of Christ. The creeds remind us that Jesus is going to return physically to judge the living and the dead. That is what we do know. Many of the other details are a bit fuzzy.
I appreciate those who study doctrine to better understand the Scriptures, the nature of God, our own nature and all those topics that find there way into systematic theology. I don't appreciate when believers elevate their particular non essential elements of the faith to the place of dividing believers from one another. If all points of doctrine were equally clear we would not have differences but those differences should not divide believers who can subscribe to the great creeds of the faith - the grand outlines of what we know to be true - and which unify us.
It strikes me that in a world in which there are many more illiterate believers, that the creeds of the church ought to be taught more often or recited together as a congregation. I fear not only that we divide over non-essentials but that many don't understand the essentials. We can argue over the wrong things and we can be ignorant of the right things.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
The Holy Spirit in the leadership equation
The best leadership is a mix of personal health, spiritual depth, leadership skill and a great intangible that is hard to quantify but makes all the difference in the world: The Holy Spirit. If we want to know the mind of God and be open to His counsel it is the Holy Spirit's promptings we need to lead well.
We don't know what we don't know. God does. We don't know all the consequences of decisions we might make. God does. There are all kinds of issues we face as leaders that can help or hurt our leadership and the more attuned we are to the counsel, direction and promptings of the Spirit the better our leadership will be. That is why mere skill is not enough to lead well. The Psalmist said of David that he led with skillful hands and integrity of heart. Skill is necessary but hearts deeply connected to God will multiply the skill because He knows what we don't know.
This is why snap or quick decisions are often counterproductive. They don't give us the time to talk to God about our decisions and listen to whatever He might want to say to us. He may speak to us directly or He may speak to us through other Godly and wise individuals. Either way we are always dependent on the wisdom from "above." Our wisdom is finite. His wisdom is infinite. Taking the time to pray, consider and allow Him to speak into our decision is what wise leaders do.
I cannot list the number of times that a quick decision on my part would have been the wrong decision. We often pride ourselves as leaders as being able to make quick decisions. We should not because quick decisions are often not good decisions because they do not allow us to consult the Lord of the universe who cares about all of our lives.
Think about what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2.
We don't know what we don't know. God does. We don't know all the consequences of decisions we might make. God does. There are all kinds of issues we face as leaders that can help or hurt our leadership and the more attuned we are to the counsel, direction and promptings of the Spirit the better our leadership will be. That is why mere skill is not enough to lead well. The Psalmist said of David that he led with skillful hands and integrity of heart. Skill is necessary but hearts deeply connected to God will multiply the skill because He knows what we don't know.
This is why snap or quick decisions are often counterproductive. They don't give us the time to talk to God about our decisions and listen to whatever He might want to say to us. He may speak to us directly or He may speak to us through other Godly and wise individuals. Either way we are always dependent on the wisdom from "above." Our wisdom is finite. His wisdom is infinite. Taking the time to pray, consider and allow Him to speak into our decision is what wise leaders do.
I cannot list the number of times that a quick decision on my part would have been the wrong decision. We often pride ourselves as leaders as being able to make quick decisions. We should not because quick decisions are often not good decisions because they do not allow us to consult the Lord of the universe who cares about all of our lives.
Think about what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.[c] 14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 15 The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, 16 for,
But we have the mind of Christ.
We have the mind of Christ....If we take the time to listen. It is the most wonderful gift a leader can have.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, January 23, 2015
If we saw ministry in the United States through missionary eyes we would do things differently
We need a fresh look at ministry in the United States. In fact, we need to see the ministry challenges here through the eyes of a missionary. Here are some of the ways that missionaries look at ministry and the contexts where they work which could change the picture of how we approach ministry in significant ways.
Missionaries do not assume that there is one way to approach ministry. In fact, they are usually very flexible in how they see their context looking first at where there are pockets of people who are open to the gospel and secondly to the methodologies and strategies that might be effective if tried. In other words, most missionaries are not locked into a single paradigm of ministry but need to be highly flexible and entrepreneurial in their approach.
Because of the exploding populations of the world, missionaries are often focused on how to move from addition models of ministry to multiplication models. In the United States we often hire people to do ministry for us rather than truly having to equip others to do meaningful ministry with us. Internationally that is not an option, nor is it Biblical which explicitly teaches an equipping model whether it is Jesus, Paul or Paul's teaching (Ephesians 4:11-12). One of the critical factors in changing the equation of ministry in the United States is that all believers think of themselves as Kingdom entrepreneurs who are called to bring the gospel into all places where God places them and where they have influence.
Nor are missionaries content to think that the only people qualified for significant leadership have a formal theological degree or are full time. We believe that while formal theological education has a significant place for church leaders (pastors) that there are many creative ways to delivering the necessary theological skills and education and that God can use all kinds of individuals who are bi-vocational and part time. It is only in the west where the majority of churches have full time pastors with formal theological degrees and it was not common in the early church as well.
Further, most mission activity is about relational ministry rather than programs. Programs generally (not always) say, bring people here to the church and we will introduce them to Jesus. Relationship based ministry generally says we will go to where people are who don't know Jesus and develop friendships and relationships that can open doors to conversations about Christ and where non-believers can see what our lives look like as we follow Jesus.
In addition, missionaries pay great attention to the large cities in their region as the cities are where people gather and are the centers of influence. In other words while not all ministry internationally is focused on the city a great deal of it is. In the United States we have generally left the city for the comfortable suburbs, leaving great gaps in the large cities of our nation. Internationally we are drawn to the cities like magnets and the opposite is often the case in the United States.
There is another key difference. Internationally we understand that no one group can reach any city or region by themselves. We are forced internationally to work with other denominations to reach the cities and regions in which we work. We know we need one another. We call this a Bride over Brand approach in ReachGlobal where the priority is in multiplying the church and the spread of the gospel over our theological differences. If the United States is going to be reached effectively we need to see our fellow churches and denominations (who are evangelical) as partners and colleagues rather than competitors and a threat. This is a major difference in how we think about ministry.
Internationally we also know that for those who have no felt need for God that when people experience the love of Jesus in very tangible ways that they become open to experiencing the truth of Jesus. In other words, while we start with programming and church activities in the United States we often start with the practical love of Jesus and meeting real needs internationally.
Here is the truth. All of us can become myopic and locked into paradigms when all we see is our own context. It is when we move out of our context that we are able to look back in and see things that we did not previously see. This is why we need to see our own ministry through missionary eyes. If we were missionaries here how would we see our context, the opportunities, the ministry options, the populations that are open to the gospel, our cities and our opportunities to see ministry in a deeply wholistic way.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Missionaries do not assume that there is one way to approach ministry. In fact, they are usually very flexible in how they see their context looking first at where there are pockets of people who are open to the gospel and secondly to the methodologies and strategies that might be effective if tried. In other words, most missionaries are not locked into a single paradigm of ministry but need to be highly flexible and entrepreneurial in their approach.
Because of the exploding populations of the world, missionaries are often focused on how to move from addition models of ministry to multiplication models. In the United States we often hire people to do ministry for us rather than truly having to equip others to do meaningful ministry with us. Internationally that is not an option, nor is it Biblical which explicitly teaches an equipping model whether it is Jesus, Paul or Paul's teaching (Ephesians 4:11-12). One of the critical factors in changing the equation of ministry in the United States is that all believers think of themselves as Kingdom entrepreneurs who are called to bring the gospel into all places where God places them and where they have influence.
Nor are missionaries content to think that the only people qualified for significant leadership have a formal theological degree or are full time. We believe that while formal theological education has a significant place for church leaders (pastors) that there are many creative ways to delivering the necessary theological skills and education and that God can use all kinds of individuals who are bi-vocational and part time. It is only in the west where the majority of churches have full time pastors with formal theological degrees and it was not common in the early church as well.
Further, most mission activity is about relational ministry rather than programs. Programs generally (not always) say, bring people here to the church and we will introduce them to Jesus. Relationship based ministry generally says we will go to where people are who don't know Jesus and develop friendships and relationships that can open doors to conversations about Christ and where non-believers can see what our lives look like as we follow Jesus.
In addition, missionaries pay great attention to the large cities in their region as the cities are where people gather and are the centers of influence. In other words while not all ministry internationally is focused on the city a great deal of it is. In the United States we have generally left the city for the comfortable suburbs, leaving great gaps in the large cities of our nation. Internationally we are drawn to the cities like magnets and the opposite is often the case in the United States.
There is another key difference. Internationally we understand that no one group can reach any city or region by themselves. We are forced internationally to work with other denominations to reach the cities and regions in which we work. We know we need one another. We call this a Bride over Brand approach in ReachGlobal where the priority is in multiplying the church and the spread of the gospel over our theological differences. If the United States is going to be reached effectively we need to see our fellow churches and denominations (who are evangelical) as partners and colleagues rather than competitors and a threat. This is a major difference in how we think about ministry.
Internationally we also know that for those who have no felt need for God that when people experience the love of Jesus in very tangible ways that they become open to experiencing the truth of Jesus. In other words, while we start with programming and church activities in the United States we often start with the practical love of Jesus and meeting real needs internationally.
Here is the truth. All of us can become myopic and locked into paradigms when all we see is our own context. It is when we move out of our context that we are able to look back in and see things that we did not previously see. This is why we need to see our own ministry through missionary eyes. If we were missionaries here how would we see our context, the opportunities, the ministry options, the populations that are open to the gospel, our cities and our opportunities to see ministry in a deeply wholistic way.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Why I write and how it can help you
I like to write because it clarifies issues and I am all about clarity. More than that I desire to help others be all that they can be, so my writing helps me and I hope helps you.
You are free to use any of my posts to help your church, ministry, organization or circle of influence. All I ask is that you attribute it to the blog. Other than that, use whatever is helpful and no permission is needed from me.
I have learned most of what I know from others. I want to pass it on. And I hope it is helpful. Blessings.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
You are free to use any of my posts to help your church, ministry, organization or circle of influence. All I ask is that you attribute it to the blog. Other than that, use whatever is helpful and no permission is needed from me.
I have learned most of what I know from others. I want to pass it on. And I hope it is helpful. Blessings.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Essential skills for every believer who wants to have influence
It is clear that some individuals have more influence than others. It is not a matter of education or place in life. Rather it is a matter of certain skills that increase our influence with others. These skills are available to everyone and they are essential for believers who want to make a difference for Jesus in their corner of the world.
1. The ability to treat all people with the grace of Jesus. It is the skill of love, acceptance and grace which overlooks flaws, sin and dysfunction and just accepts people for who they are. And then graciously points them to Jesus, the One who is the paradigm of grace.
2. The ability to speak words of encouragement and grace rather than words of condemnation. There is a place for speaking truth but we are too quick to condemn rather than to love, to criticize rather than to encourage and to take the role of the Holy Spirit to fix people rather than to let the Lord work in their lives.
3. The ability to see the potential in people rather then their flaws. We all have flaws. Often we are most critical about the flaws in others that are similar to our own, All of us gravitate to those who accept us as we are and see our potential rather than our fractures.
4. The ability to forgive easily and handle conflict biblically. If we desire influence we need to forgive quickly and resolve differences quickly and with humility. The ability to stay in relationship is one of the most important skills we could develop. It is OK to disagree and still be in relationship. Jesus did it quite well.
5. The willingness to step into tough situations with the love of Jesus and the help that we can give. If we flee from messy situations we lose out on our greatest influence. Being willing to enter into the mess and bring the love or help of Jesus yields great influence.
6. The ability to not get enmeshed with other people's issues which often creates distance from those others are distant from. We control our friendships and need not divide from those others divide from.
7. The ability to hold our own counsel in tough situations. Sometimes we need to speak truth in love. Often we are better off keeping our thoughts to ourselves and not creating conflict where it is not needed - from us. Wisdom and discernment in what we say and write (email) is a huge part of our influence.
8. The ability to be flexible when things don't go our own way. Drawing unnecessary lines in the sand divides rather than unites. Influence requires flexibility and adaptability.
9. The ability to be patient with our personal agendas or goals when they don't go as we desire. Life is like that.
10. The ability to see others and love others as Jesus sees them and loves them. Might be the hardest skill to learn but it is why we can live in God's grace as he does it with us. People are quirky - even you and I. Jesus sees beyond our quirks and so should we.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
1. The ability to treat all people with the grace of Jesus. It is the skill of love, acceptance and grace which overlooks flaws, sin and dysfunction and just accepts people for who they are. And then graciously points them to Jesus, the One who is the paradigm of grace.
2. The ability to speak words of encouragement and grace rather than words of condemnation. There is a place for speaking truth but we are too quick to condemn rather than to love, to criticize rather than to encourage and to take the role of the Holy Spirit to fix people rather than to let the Lord work in their lives.
3. The ability to see the potential in people rather then their flaws. We all have flaws. Often we are most critical about the flaws in others that are similar to our own, All of us gravitate to those who accept us as we are and see our potential rather than our fractures.
4. The ability to forgive easily and handle conflict biblically. If we desire influence we need to forgive quickly and resolve differences quickly and with humility. The ability to stay in relationship is one of the most important skills we could develop. It is OK to disagree and still be in relationship. Jesus did it quite well.
5. The willingness to step into tough situations with the love of Jesus and the help that we can give. If we flee from messy situations we lose out on our greatest influence. Being willing to enter into the mess and bring the love or help of Jesus yields great influence.
6. The ability to not get enmeshed with other people's issues which often creates distance from those others are distant from. We control our friendships and need not divide from those others divide from.
7. The ability to hold our own counsel in tough situations. Sometimes we need to speak truth in love. Often we are better off keeping our thoughts to ourselves and not creating conflict where it is not needed - from us. Wisdom and discernment in what we say and write (email) is a huge part of our influence.
8. The ability to be flexible when things don't go our own way. Drawing unnecessary lines in the sand divides rather than unites. Influence requires flexibility and adaptability.
9. The ability to be patient with our personal agendas or goals when they don't go as we desire. Life is like that.
10. The ability to see others and love others as Jesus sees them and loves them. Might be the hardest skill to learn but it is why we can live in God's grace as he does it with us. People are quirky - even you and I. Jesus sees beyond our quirks and so should we.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Transformational ministries with toxic staff cultures
There is a disconnect in many ministries that claim to be about transformation. That disconnect is that their own internal staff cultures are often toxic, dysfunctional and highly untransformed. It is a sickness that pervades even high profile ministries that purport to be on the forefront of leadership and transformational ministries.
If our staff cultures are not healthy we do not have the moral ground to claim that our ministry is about transformation. There are too many places where fear and intimidation and lack of care for staff is the norm. It usually reflects the senior leader's lack of EQ or concern for those on their staff. It is often fueled by a leader's drive to succeed or their own insecurities. Whatever the cause it is inexcusable and sad. And not consistent with the kind of cultures that reflect the culture of Jesus.
Healthy staff cultures are marked by these kind of characteristics.
If our staff cultures are not healthy we do not have the moral ground to claim that our ministry is about transformation. There are too many places where fear and intimidation and lack of care for staff is the norm. It usually reflects the senior leader's lack of EQ or concern for those on their staff. It is often fueled by a leader's drive to succeed or their own insecurities. Whatever the cause it is inexcusable and sad. And not consistent with the kind of cultures that reflect the culture of Jesus.
Healthy staff cultures are marked by these kind of characteristics.
- All are treated with dignity
- Grace is extended in all situations - even when tough issues are being dealt with
- Truth is spoken in grace
- People are developed, empowered and valued
- Candid discussion is valued
- People are in their "lane" or sweet spot
- Men and women are treated equally
- There is a high value in helping people become all they can be
- Leaders serve their staff to help them be successful
- There is clarity of roles and people are given the tools to do their jobs
- Teamwork is highly valued
- Relationships are collegial
- Opinions are valued
- Staff find their roles fulfilling because they understand the mission they are contributing to
- There is high trust
- Fairness is practiced in all situations
- Appreciation is regularly expressed
How does your staff culture measure up and where could you do better? Transformation starts at home, in our own ministries. As ministry leaders our commitment to transformation starts with our own staff.
See also:
Signs you work in a toxic workplace
Signs you work in a healthy workplace
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
See also:
Signs you work in a toxic workplace
Signs you work in a healthy workplace
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Can we disagree with one another and still speak kindly to one another?
It bemuses me when Christians in the name of Jesus disagree with one another in highly disagreeable ways. It is as if disagreements give license to speak to one another in the name of Jesus without the love and grace of Jesus. It is our "truth" without God's "grace." When our truth cannot be spoken in grace it should not be spoken at all. It is not a Jesus truth when communicated in ways that Jesus would not have communicated.
When we are angry we ought to filter our response through the Fruit of the Spirit. If our response does not meet that grid we are better off waiting until it does. If our words and attitudes do not match the truth we espouse we negate the spirit of Jesus in whose name we purport to speak. Too much conflict and disagreement in Christian circles does not live up to the spirit of Jesus or for that matter the Holy Spirit who lives within us.
In the prophets it says that the Servant, (Jesus) would not break the bruised reed. Think of how easy it is to break a reed, let alone a bruised one. Yet, Jesus is so gracious that even when he needs to get our attention He does it with amazing love and gentleness. Yet we find it easy to wield a sledgehammer in His name. I suspect it makes Him deeply sad when we do.
I discount opinions and words spoken in Jesus' name without Jesus' love. Why should I trust such words when their delivery violates everything Jesus taught and modeled? And I am deeply sorry when I do the same. The older I get the more I understand that truth without the spirit of grace is hard and so unlike Jesus. I like you am susceptible to violating His loving spirit but I am determined to see alignment between the truth I share and the spirit in which I share it.
If we disagree with one another - and we will! Let's do it in a spirit that looks like Jesus. It would change the equation in many relationships and conflicts.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
When we are angry we ought to filter our response through the Fruit of the Spirit. If our response does not meet that grid we are better off waiting until it does. If our words and attitudes do not match the truth we espouse we negate the spirit of Jesus in whose name we purport to speak. Too much conflict and disagreement in Christian circles does not live up to the spirit of Jesus or for that matter the Holy Spirit who lives within us.
In the prophets it says that the Servant, (Jesus) would not break the bruised reed. Think of how easy it is to break a reed, let alone a bruised one. Yet, Jesus is so gracious that even when he needs to get our attention He does it with amazing love and gentleness. Yet we find it easy to wield a sledgehammer in His name. I suspect it makes Him deeply sad when we do.
I discount opinions and words spoken in Jesus' name without Jesus' love. Why should I trust such words when their delivery violates everything Jesus taught and modeled? And I am deeply sorry when I do the same. The older I get the more I understand that truth without the spirit of grace is hard and so unlike Jesus. I like you am susceptible to violating His loving spirit but I am determined to see alignment between the truth I share and the spirit in which I share it.
If we disagree with one another - and we will! Let's do it in a spirit that looks like Jesus. It would change the equation in many relationships and conflicts.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Monday, January 19, 2015
Christian crusaders
Christian crusaders are not hard to find. They populate the internet with all kinds of dubious information, find a home in our churches and are the prophets that will keep the "true faith" and bring equally zealous people around them to fight the righteous fight. What is interesting about these crusaders who fight for truth is that they almost always lack grace. And when asked about that they justify their behaviors by quoting Jesus words to the Pharisees. In other words they are like Jesus and those they crusade against are Pharisees.
Which is really interesting because those they usually fight against are fellow believers and often church leaders. I have learned that engaging such crusaders is usually not very productive as they are highly inflexible and unteachable. Here are some of the signs of Christian Crusaders.
First, they are usually incredibly harsh with their vocabulary using words like sin, evil, heresy, need for repentance, God's judgement, arrogance, narcissism, and the list could go on. And, their communications are also full of Scriptural references to prove their case. In fact, the more people quote scripture in such communications the more concerned I am as those Scriptures are usually used as a hammer of "righteousness" against perceived "unrighteousness."
Second, Christian crusaders become deeply enmeshed with other crusaders against a common "cause" or "enemy" and these enmeshed relationships fuel their sense of righteousness - as there is no one who challenges the party line - and there is no glue for dysfunctional individuals like the fuel of an evil enemy. If one speaks out against the behaviors or challenges the party line they often become one of the unrighteous.
Third, Christian crusaders are usually highly inflexible. This is why conversations about the veracity of their claims and beliefs rarely have any impact. To compromise on any point is for them to compromise truth rather than to realize that the real issue may simply be that they disagree with the views of those they have demonized. I will rarely waste my time trying to convince those who will never be convinced.
Fourth, Christian crusaders take second and third hand information that is "helpful to them" and use it without regard to whether it is actually accurate. Sine it fits their skewed view of the universe it must be true. Fact verification is not high on their agenda.
Then, they view all events with those being demonized through their skewed view of reality. I have seen simple, straightforward statements interpreted in a malicious way when any reasonable individual would take the statement at face value. The lens through which crusaders see their opponents is so skewed that they cannot see any intentions as deviating from their interpretation.
Finally, crusaders don't let go. It is, after all a crusade, and until they win, there is no let up. And those caught in their sights cannot do much about it except leave it to God. In the church, this behavior should not be allowed and elected leaders ought to deal with crusaders in their midst who create problems and division. That last word is very important. Crusaders create unhealthy division and destroy the unity of the church. After all, it is a righteous struggle - which is often directly from the pit!
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Which is really interesting because those they usually fight against are fellow believers and often church leaders. I have learned that engaging such crusaders is usually not very productive as they are highly inflexible and unteachable. Here are some of the signs of Christian Crusaders.
First, they are usually incredibly harsh with their vocabulary using words like sin, evil, heresy, need for repentance, God's judgement, arrogance, narcissism, and the list could go on. And, their communications are also full of Scriptural references to prove their case. In fact, the more people quote scripture in such communications the more concerned I am as those Scriptures are usually used as a hammer of "righteousness" against perceived "unrighteousness."
Second, Christian crusaders become deeply enmeshed with other crusaders against a common "cause" or "enemy" and these enmeshed relationships fuel their sense of righteousness - as there is no one who challenges the party line - and there is no glue for dysfunctional individuals like the fuel of an evil enemy. If one speaks out against the behaviors or challenges the party line they often become one of the unrighteous.
Third, Christian crusaders are usually highly inflexible. This is why conversations about the veracity of their claims and beliefs rarely have any impact. To compromise on any point is for them to compromise truth rather than to realize that the real issue may simply be that they disagree with the views of those they have demonized. I will rarely waste my time trying to convince those who will never be convinced.
Fourth, Christian crusaders take second and third hand information that is "helpful to them" and use it without regard to whether it is actually accurate. Sine it fits their skewed view of the universe it must be true. Fact verification is not high on their agenda.
Then, they view all events with those being demonized through their skewed view of reality. I have seen simple, straightforward statements interpreted in a malicious way when any reasonable individual would take the statement at face value. The lens through which crusaders see their opponents is so skewed that they cannot see any intentions as deviating from their interpretation.
Finally, crusaders don't let go. It is, after all a crusade, and until they win, there is no let up. And those caught in their sights cannot do much about it except leave it to God. In the church, this behavior should not be allowed and elected leaders ought to deal with crusaders in their midst who create problems and division. That last word is very important. Crusaders create unhealthy division and destroy the unity of the church. After all, it is a righteous struggle - which is often directly from the pit!
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Kingdom Entrepreneurs
What would happen if we helped Christ followers think of themselves as kingdom entrepreneurs? That is like entrepreneurs in the market place who are always looking for new opportunities. Like them we should be training those entrusted to us in the church to always be looking for new opportunities to bring Jesus into the picture with those around us.
In many ways, our emphasis on programming in the church and then the need to staff that programming has trained people to be passive in the ministry department, waiting to be invited or told about the role they should play. Not only are these opportunities often not in the sweet spot of those asked but it also centers much of the ministry inside the church rather than in the world where we are called to have major influence.
The church is the most viral organization on the face of the earth. There are believers in every corner of the world, in every social strata, in every profession (well almost on that one). If each of us, scattered across the landscape were to see ourselves as a kingdom entrepreneur placed there directly by Jesus in order to make his reputation great and his name well known who knows how much influence the church would once again have!
It also places the responsibility on those who have been given it: Each of us (Ephesians 2:10). And it challenges us to live out our calling in unique and creative ways always consistent with how God uniquely, handcrafted us for that very purpose. And there is no age limit here, young or mature. All of us can be kingdom entrepreneurs. It is also deeply consistent with the parable of the talents where each one given a sum of money by the master going on a trip was expected to find ways to multiply that sum in a creative way.
What is the church missing today? In many cases it is people who think and act like kingdom entrepreneurs where everyone is in the game with and for Jesus.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
In many ways, our emphasis on programming in the church and then the need to staff that programming has trained people to be passive in the ministry department, waiting to be invited or told about the role they should play. Not only are these opportunities often not in the sweet spot of those asked but it also centers much of the ministry inside the church rather than in the world where we are called to have major influence.
The church is the most viral organization on the face of the earth. There are believers in every corner of the world, in every social strata, in every profession (well almost on that one). If each of us, scattered across the landscape were to see ourselves as a kingdom entrepreneur placed there directly by Jesus in order to make his reputation great and his name well known who knows how much influence the church would once again have!
It also places the responsibility on those who have been given it: Each of us (Ephesians 2:10). And it challenges us to live out our calling in unique and creative ways always consistent with how God uniquely, handcrafted us for that very purpose. And there is no age limit here, young or mature. All of us can be kingdom entrepreneurs. It is also deeply consistent with the parable of the talents where each one given a sum of money by the master going on a trip was expected to find ways to multiply that sum in a creative way.
What is the church missing today? In many cases it is people who think and act like kingdom entrepreneurs where everyone is in the game with and for Jesus.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Ten ways to create unnecessary chaos in relationships
In recent days I have had my share of brushing up against chaotic and conflictual relationships between individuals or groups. What I have seen is messy, probably unnecessary and certainly painful but it got me thinking of the many ways that we can create unnecessary and painful chaos in relationships.
One. Triangulate with others instead of going to the source. When I share my issues about another person with anyone other than that person, I have brought them into my issue and often into an alliance with me against others. When you think about that, how crazy is that! It does not solve the problem but rather enlarges the circle of those who now have problems but who cannot solve them because their problem is a problem by proxy (actually our problem) but not theirs.
Two: Copy emails about conflictual situations to those who are not involved. Of course once you do that they are now involved and often others get inadvertently roped in. Why do we copy emails to people who have not business getting them? It is usually a power play or a way to bring in others to "our side" and it certainly enlarges the circle of mistrust, doubt and information.
Three: Sharing second or third hand information. Second hand information is not usually real information. At least it is often highly suspect because no matter what if it is second hand we don't know all the facts but just some of the facts. We ought not share what we don't know about another person's experience.
Four: Going on a crusade against another individual or group. There are people who believe that they need to solve problems that they are not in a position to solve but they go on a crusade to do so anyway. I am not talking about a "whistle blower" situation but especially in Christian circles, taking matters into our own hands to take care of situations that are more likely the purview of a church or ministry board to deal with. There are many dysfunctional situations I may know about but do nothing about because they are not my purview to solve.
Five: Planting seeds of distrust against another by sharing gossip or even "facts" that they can do nothing about. If people need to know, the right people need to know, not the wrong people. Too often we don't discriminate on that score.
Six; Ignoring issues that we are in a place to deal with and the responsible person. Often, leaders who are conflict adverse don't deal with issues they know are problematic and therefore allow the dysfunctions to spill over among others. This is the source of much pain in the local church when leaders choose not to confront behaviors that are problematic.
Seven: Not telling people the truth. Truth should be shared graciously and only with the right people but if we have issues we need to share those issues in the right way and at the right time. Then we need to leave those issues with those who are in a position and who have the responsibility to do something about it. What they do is not my responsibility. Being honest with them is.
Eight: Demonize those who disagree with you or who are the objects of your unhappiness. It happens all the time in Christian circles. We divide the world into good people and bad people, righteous and unrighteous. Is life that easy? and which group would we be in? In this world view we are in whatever group someone else puts us in. Life is not that easy. Good and Godly people can do and say unfortunate things but it does not make them worthy of demonization. We ought to be happy that Jesus does not see us that way.
Nine: Taking up someone else's issue as ours. Another form of triangulation. Your issues are yours and mine are mine. I can give you counsel or take your counsel but the issues are still either yours or mine. When I take up your issue, I get involve in conflict that is not my own. I am always ready to mediate conflict but I do not want to get involved in the issues of others that I cannot solve.
Ten: Being unwilling to be a third party to solve relational difficulties. "Blessed are the peacemakers" says Jesus. What would happen if every time we heard there was conflict we offered our services to seek to resolve the conflict rather than get involved in the conflict itself. The world would be a different place.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
One. Triangulate with others instead of going to the source. When I share my issues about another person with anyone other than that person, I have brought them into my issue and often into an alliance with me against others. When you think about that, how crazy is that! It does not solve the problem but rather enlarges the circle of those who now have problems but who cannot solve them because their problem is a problem by proxy (actually our problem) but not theirs.
Two: Copy emails about conflictual situations to those who are not involved. Of course once you do that they are now involved and often others get inadvertently roped in. Why do we copy emails to people who have not business getting them? It is usually a power play or a way to bring in others to "our side" and it certainly enlarges the circle of mistrust, doubt and information.
Three: Sharing second or third hand information. Second hand information is not usually real information. At least it is often highly suspect because no matter what if it is second hand we don't know all the facts but just some of the facts. We ought not share what we don't know about another person's experience.
Four: Going on a crusade against another individual or group. There are people who believe that they need to solve problems that they are not in a position to solve but they go on a crusade to do so anyway. I am not talking about a "whistle blower" situation but especially in Christian circles, taking matters into our own hands to take care of situations that are more likely the purview of a church or ministry board to deal with. There are many dysfunctional situations I may know about but do nothing about because they are not my purview to solve.
Five: Planting seeds of distrust against another by sharing gossip or even "facts" that they can do nothing about. If people need to know, the right people need to know, not the wrong people. Too often we don't discriminate on that score.
Six; Ignoring issues that we are in a place to deal with and the responsible person. Often, leaders who are conflict adverse don't deal with issues they know are problematic and therefore allow the dysfunctions to spill over among others. This is the source of much pain in the local church when leaders choose not to confront behaviors that are problematic.
Seven: Not telling people the truth. Truth should be shared graciously and only with the right people but if we have issues we need to share those issues in the right way and at the right time. Then we need to leave those issues with those who are in a position and who have the responsibility to do something about it. What they do is not my responsibility. Being honest with them is.
Eight: Demonize those who disagree with you or who are the objects of your unhappiness. It happens all the time in Christian circles. We divide the world into good people and bad people, righteous and unrighteous. Is life that easy? and which group would we be in? In this world view we are in whatever group someone else puts us in. Life is not that easy. Good and Godly people can do and say unfortunate things but it does not make them worthy of demonization. We ought to be happy that Jesus does not see us that way.
Nine: Taking up someone else's issue as ours. Another form of triangulation. Your issues are yours and mine are mine. I can give you counsel or take your counsel but the issues are still either yours or mine. When I take up your issue, I get involve in conflict that is not my own. I am always ready to mediate conflict but I do not want to get involved in the issues of others that I cannot solve.
Ten: Being unwilling to be a third party to solve relational difficulties. "Blessed are the peacemakers" says Jesus. What would happen if every time we heard there was conflict we offered our services to seek to resolve the conflict rather than get involved in the conflict itself. The world would be a different place.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Facts, gossip, innuendo and assumptions
There is a big difference between facts, gossip, innuendo and assumptions. The facts can be verified. The other three are hearsay and often if not usually wrong. Yet it is very easy to assume that the latter three are "facts" and many do.
I have seen a number of situations recently where there was circulation of information that was heavy on gossip, innuendo and assumptions but the facts were in short supply. Why? Because those circulating the information did not have first hand information - only what they had heard or assumptions they had made. Or, they had taken what they heard and made assumptions about motives and what the "truth" was.
Such is the destruction of many relationships and the root of much conflict in organizations and churches. Not truth that we are sure of but rather gossip, innuendo and assumptions that "we are sure of" and feel free to share with others. Who wins? Not Jesus who is full of grace and truth but the Evil One who is the father of all lies.
Even facts can be interpreted wrongly if we assume wrong motives. All facts are suspect if we assume there is a bad agenda behind them. Again, we must be careful as to what motivation we attribute because it is very hard to judge motivations. We can make statements about behaviors but rarely about the motivations behind the behaviors.
All of us ought to be wary of information that we don't know to be true. And even then we ought to be wary of judging the motivations behind the "facts." If we get either wrong we may well be playing into the hand of the Evil One.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
I have seen a number of situations recently where there was circulation of information that was heavy on gossip, innuendo and assumptions but the facts were in short supply. Why? Because those circulating the information did not have first hand information - only what they had heard or assumptions they had made. Or, they had taken what they heard and made assumptions about motives and what the "truth" was.
Such is the destruction of many relationships and the root of much conflict in organizations and churches. Not truth that we are sure of but rather gossip, innuendo and assumptions that "we are sure of" and feel free to share with others. Who wins? Not Jesus who is full of grace and truth but the Evil One who is the father of all lies.
Even facts can be interpreted wrongly if we assume wrong motives. All facts are suspect if we assume there is a bad agenda behind them. Again, we must be careful as to what motivation we attribute because it is very hard to judge motivations. We can make statements about behaviors but rarely about the motivations behind the behaviors.
All of us ought to be wary of information that we don't know to be true. And even then we ought to be wary of judging the motivations behind the "facts." If we get either wrong we may well be playing into the hand of the Evil One.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
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