Pastors, staff and board members who use inappropriate language, emotions and actions

I was once doing an intervention in a church where the pastor was in conflict with several associate pastors. During a "reconciliation meeting" the senior pastor acknowledged a whole lot of behavior that he termed was "below the belt" but his further comment was that "It was no different than what the associate had done to him." Really? 

I told them both that their behaviors would be a no brainier for termination in the ministry I lead and that foul language, anger, threats, shouting at one another and undermining each other was simply unacceptable behavior in ministry and would be cause for termination in the business sector. What I said to them was that they were like two year olds throwing sand at one another in a sandbox rather than grown ups who deal with one another with grace and the attitudes of the Fruit of the Spirit.

I am always amazed at the behaviors that are acceptable in the church but would be unacceptable in business where the standards presumably are lower than in the church. When the Fruit of the Spirit is not exhibited by those who are in church leadership - whether pastors or board members or volunteers there is a deep problem. When the scenes behind the scenes are not consistent with the public portrayal there is hypocrisy in the camp.  Yet boards and staff seem to ignore this all the time. Why? 

I suspect boards ignore such issues because when it is a fellow board member they don't have the courage to confront one of their own. I suspect they ignore these issues with a senior leader when that leader is "producing results," irregardless of the behaviors that should be deemed unacceptable. That is a pragmatic approach that ignores the inner dishealth of the leader. What they don't get is that the health of the leader will inevitably determine the health of the staff and the entire congregation. As goes the leader, so goes the church. When it all comes apart, I have often had boards acknowledge that they knew all was not well with their leader but chose to ignore it because the leader was bringing people in. The facade was good but the inner structure was unhealthy.

Paul told Timothy to watch both his life and his theology with diligence so that all would notice (1 Timothy 4:15-16). He also told him to "set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12). Theology without a life that reflects that theology is unacceptable in the Kingdom of God. No one is perfect but there are boundaries to what is acceptable and if it not acceptable in public it is also not acceptable behind the scenes. 

If our behind the scenes leadership (language, actions, behaviors attitudes) do not reflect our up front leadership there is a dissonance that should be addressed because it will eventually cause deep problems. Our public lives should directly reflect our private lives and when that is not the case there is a discontinuity that will eventually hurt the organization - especially when it comes to leaders. In the case cited above it caused the explosion of a church which has taken several years to heal.

See also, Abuse in the church. When the bully is the pastor.

Posted from Bloomington - Normal, Illinois

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Giving space and giving grace

We, and I include myself in that, are all too prone to criticizing  then actions or words of another. Now there are clearly behaviors which are out of line and which are violations of our organizational cultures. But at the same time there are things that we might call "quirks" of another - and we all have them where we need to give both space and grace.

As uniquely created individuals there are places that we will differ with others. In addition, there are things that others do that may irritate us. I certainly experience this and I also irritate others at times. 

There is perhaps no scripture that challenges me more than this than that of the the fruit of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). These are the characteristics that the Spirit exercises to us and which we are to exercise toward others. 

Before I am critical of others I need to ask myself if I am living out the fruit of the Spirit in my actions and reactions. This is not an excuse to ignore inappropriate behavior but it is a reminder to us as to how we respond. 

Often, those things that irritate me the most in others are things that I struggle with myself. That is something that I need to think hard about. We all do! 

Before we react to the words or actions of others, lets give space and give grace. And if we need to address it lets do it with the combination of grace and truth and an awareness of our own vulnerabilities and struggles. It would make a great difference in our relationships. I am so glad for how the Holy Spirit gives me grace and space and for those who love me who do the same. I want to be one who gives it to others.

Posted from Bloomington - Normal, Illinois

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

America’s Changing Religious Landscape

Christians Decline Sharply as Share of Population; Unaffiliated and Other Faiths Continue to Grow

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The next time you think you don't have enough stuff check out these pictures

Photographer spends 11 years documenting families around China with all their belongings

Avoiding conflict by creating conflict

It is ironic but there are many ways to seek to avoid conflict that actually create it. Think about this:

One: When we try to please others by not telling them what we really think in an attempt to keep peace we often unintentionally create later conflict since our words do not match our true thoughts. Our true convictions come out at some point and the lack of honesty on the front end creates conflict on the back end.

Two: When we tell one person one thing and another a different thing in order to keep the peace we eventually create conflict because the two versions don't match up. One of the signs of good EQ is the ability to be defining with what we believe no matter what the response might be. And to stay in relationship with those who might disagree with us at the same time. 

Three: When we simply avoid the issues and pretend that they are not there the end result is far deeper conflict than we could have wished for. Sweeping issues under the rug only leave them for another day when the number of undressed issues is now larger and the potential conflict equally larger.

Four: When we engage in passive aggressive behavior, hiding our true thoughts and allowing them to emerge in other ways creates even greater conflict because it is disingenuous. This strategy is all too common and it creates relational chaos since one thing is said but another thing is lived out. 

There are many ways to create conflict by avoiding it. There is no upside by not putting issues on the table. We may think there is but our strategies to avoid conflict actually make even deeper conflict inevitable. Boards and staff teams are guilty of this all the time and it does not yield healthy results.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Three key questions about priorities that apply to everyone

Priorities are an interesting thing. We know we have them, we know they are important but we often don't think about them much - ironically because we are often too distracted by non-priorities. The best sacrificed by the urgent. 

There are three key questions about priorities that we ought to consider on a regular basis. The first is do we know what our priorities are? Can we name them? Have we spent time determining what they should be? The reason this is so important is that either we determine what they are or others and life will do it for us. This is true in our personal lives and in our professional lives. Many people live with only a general idea of what their priorities are which is by definition a life unconsidered.

The second question is whether our stated priorities are the right ones. On the personal side, we know that our priorities revolve around God, our marriage (if married), family and our personal ministry. While these can easily become pushed aside they are not hard to determine.

On the professional side, however, it is not necessarily so easy. We need to start by asking what we want to accomplish and then our priorities follow from our goals. But that is not even the final issue because how we go about the pursuit of our goals can be the difference between moderate impact and significant impact. It takes focused, evaluative thinking to determine what really should be the focus of my time on the ministry or professional side. The end results of our ministries will largely be determined by whether we focused on the right things.

The third question regarding priorities is whether my stated priorities are reflected in my calendar. That is, whether I have connected the compass (my priorities) with the clock (my calendar). If our checkbook reflects our financial priorities, our calendar reflects our time priorities. Anyone who examines our calendars can tell what our actual priorities are and whether they reflect our stated priorities. 

Connecting the compass with the clock is easier said than done because of all the demands and expectations that come our way. But, it is the priorities themselves that help us say yes or no so that we stay on track with our calling and our lives. 

If you are challenged by answering these three questions, you are in good company. But the more we ask them and pay attention to them the more we will focus on the things that really matter.

Posted from Milwaukee

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

What drains the energy and momentum from your ministry?

Often we don't realize that a tremendous amount of energy is wasted and drained from issues that we choose not to address. The failure to address known issues can steal amazing time, anxiety or joy from what should be productive ministry.

Take a staff member who is out of sync with the rest of the staff or leadership. Their lack of alignment is like a huge anchor the rest of the organization must drag along behind them. Yet we let it happen all too often.

Or consider governance that no longer fits a church's size that keeps decisions from being made in a timely fashion, requires permission from multiple sources and just makes it hard to lead. In many cases poor governance models also create confusion as to who is responsible for what leading to frustration or conflict. It is a huge an unnecessary drain on multiple people.

Unresolved conflict between key members of a team or board also create tension and an emotional drain on those involved and those who are on the fringes. So do unresolved issues that come up time and again.

Ask yourself this question. Is there something that is draining you or your ministry team or organization of time, energy or emotional health? Is there something that causes ongoing frustration and is a drag on the forward momentum? Is there an individual who is at the center of ongoing controversy or conflict? 

If you can identify those frustrating drains on the energy of your ministry deal with them. It may cause short term pain but it will bring long term health. Once you deal with the issue(s) you will be amazed at the freedom you feel and the new energy you have. 

Posted from Milwaukee

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Five things to remember about all emails you send.

I just saw an email that caused me to say "Oh my!" and it reminded me of the dangers that emails present. I suspect that if it could be recalled it would be but that is not possible and now it is being circulated to places and people the author probably does not desire.

Five things to remember about all emails we send:

First: Do not assume they will not be made public. The more controversial the conversation the greater the chances there are that whatever you write will find its way into the hands of others. All it takes is one click. Do not write anything that you don't want others to see and that you cannot substantiate. Our tone, our words, our attitudes and our assumptions matter in print and they can easily be wrong or badly misunderstood.

Second: Do not question the motives of others. In the first place you may well be wrong. In the main we cannot know what those motives really are. Conversations may unearth them but emails rarely will and you run the risk that you have it wrong - but now in print.

Third: Do not make accusations you cannot prove and even if you can that will not be understood by others who might read the email. Emails are not the place to make accusations. I am reluctant to do so in person let alone by email. And remember that even if you are right, those who are friends of the one you are writing to will rarely agree with you and it probably will come back to bite you. Why pick fights that you don't need to pick?

Fourth: Do not use inflammatory language. The harsher the language the tougher it is going to be to resolve whatever issue needs resolution. Inflammatory language raises the level of conflict, can be accusatory by its very nature and is unnecessary in an email. Even if everything you say is true, third parties who may see the email will inevitably take exception to you and what you wrote - and you will lose coinage.

Five: Don't make a threat by email. There may be consequences to someone's actions but rarely is it helpful to threaten them in a way that could go public, or that will be misunderstood by third parties.

If one is tempted to send an email that violates any of these five principles it is a smart practice to first wait 24 hours before sending it and second to have a colleague you trust read it. If it has implications for your organization or ministry, show it to your supervisor before sending because if it comes back to haunt you it will also haunt them. 

Posted from Guatemala

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

When leaders stop learning they also stop leading

Leaders often inadvertently stop leading even though they think they are leading. After all they have the title and the responsibility. And authority. But, Leadership is not about those three things. It is helping the ministry move forward in clarity toward a defined goal and meet the new challenges of the day. 

None of that happens without the leader continually growing personally and professionally all the time. When leaders stop learning and growing they also stop leading. 

Consider:

The environment around us changes continuously and unless we respond to those changes we quickly become irrelevant in our methodology. Our theology does not change but our methods of ministry need to. Not only does our environment change but the needs of an organization change at different seasons and phases of growth. Moving through those times of transition takes new thinking and new skills that if not learned plateau the ministry.

In addition, those who report to us take their cues from us. If leaders are not always pushing forward to learn new things others probably will not either. So stagnation at the top leads to stagnation throughout the organization. This leads to the best people leaving (staff or in the church congregants) and over time it leads to decline. 

What keeps leaders from growing? Often our busyness keeps us from focusing on what is most important. Thus we can live with the illusion we are leading (we are doing things) but we are not actually helping the ministry move forward but are rather managing the status quo.

I believe another reason is often laziness. It is easier to manage the status quo than to figure out what comes next and how to get there. 

Finally, pride can keep us from seeking help from others. But none of us grow without the help of others. Often leaders need help to grow but do not ask or take the initiative. Pride makes us believe we are better than we are. Humility leads us to seek growth as we realize how much we don't know. 

Pride, laziness and busyness all conspire to keep us from learning new things. If we are going to go the distance it is a lifelong process with great intentionality and purpose. Pursue growth and the organization will grow. When we don't we actually stop leading.

Posted from Guatemala

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Study shows that Millennials are leaving the church in droves

Millennials leaving church in droves, study finds

Posted from Guatemala

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

A must read for all those interested in Latin American Christianity

If you support mission efforts in Latin America or serve there I would encourage you to pick up this book which gives an excellent overview of where the church is today and how it got there. It is part of an Oxford series on Christianity and is a fascinating and helpful read.

Amazon link

Posted from Guatemala

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Why you should consider missions if you are in your second half of life

I talk to a lot of people who want more. More impact, more influence, more opportunity to make an impact for the kingdom. Many of them are in their fifties and have been there and done that. They are professionals, in the trades and in ministry and they long for more. More is something they should consider! And it may be in full time missions. Don't be shy - take a chance with Jesus and ask if this is an option for you.

Don't get me wrong. There is no first bench and second bench in the economy of Jesus. There is nothing more spiritual about full time missions than being in one's lane in their own country. God uses all of us for extraordinary things if we are available to Him.

But....there are many who long for more. And the opportunities to bring Christ to the nations is an amazing opportunity and unlike the past, mission agencies can use anyone with a skill along with good personal, emotional and relational health. It is ordinary people reaching ordinary people for extraordinary results. We live in a world that is deeply thirsty for answers to life. And, the response to the Gospel in many parts of the world is amazing. In other settings it his about planting the seeds for future response. 

I can speak for ReachGlobal that we are actively looking for both leaders and staff who have a heart for the global gospel. If you email me at tim.addington@efca.org I will put you in touch with someone who can explore the options with you. Or, contact the mission that you are familiar with. At the least, explore how you can make a difference in our needy world.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Managing anxiety in our leadership roles and saving us from ourselves

On a regular basis, leaders are confronted with situations that cause anxiety. How we learn (and it is learned) to handle that anxiety is one of the key factors in how well we will lead over the long haul. Those who don't handle anxiety well will sabotage their leadership either through emotional responses that are inappropriate or through inner turmoil that eats at their gut - and often both. It is one of the reasons some very bright people choose not to lead. When someone says, "It's not worth the hassle," what they are often saying is that "I don't have the tools to manage the anxiety that comes with leadership."

Anxiety is the uncertainty that comes from any number of situations leaders face. It can be conflict within the team that needs to be resolved, actions or words of a team member that we assume are disloyal to us, seemingly dumb things that someone may have done or situations we just don't know how to confront. I can think of a long list of people and situations that caused me anxiety as a leader, especially as a young leader. That anxiety, however, must be managed if we are to act with discernment and wisdom rather than with an emotional, angry or knee-jerk response.

How do we manage our emotions in these situations and save ourselves from ourselves? Here are some suggestions:

One: Don't act precipitously. Acting out of our initial response will usually exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it.

Two: Manage your anxiety - it is wasted energy. I often simply visualize a drawer in my mind where I place those things causing me anxiety and lock it until it is time to deal with the issue.

Three: Don't assume you have all the facts. This is why time is on your side. Often when acting out of emotion we are also acting out of factual ignorance. Getting the whole story often puts things into perspective.

Four: Don't assume ill motives. When we get all the facts we often discover that the motives of others were not poor whether what they did was wise or not.

Five: Consult with a trusted colleague to get a different perspective on the issue and ensure that you are taking a wise course to address it.

Six: Think through how you want to approach the issue with the individual(s) involved for the most positive outcome. This takes time. Don't address it until you have a plan for your approach.

Seven: Have a conversation with the individual(s) involved. A conversation is different than an attack. Often in talking the situation out we come to understanding and mutually agreeable solutions.

Eight: Consider what everyone can learn from the situation. In other words, assigning blame is often not as healthy as just seeing what lessons can be learned moving forward.

Nine: It goes without saying for Christian leaders that asking for God's wisdom in the situation is critical. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

For more help in understanding emotions in leadership, my new book Deep Influence deals with this in greater depth.

5 ways reading makes you a better leader by Michael Hyatt

5 WAYS READING MAKES YOU A BETTER LEADER

The Science Behind Reading and Influence

Posted from Grand Rapids, MI

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How much narcissism do we live with?

We would probably be surprised if we understood God's perspective on our narcissistic tendencies. All of us have them even though we would never want to be labeled a narcissist in the clinical sense of the term. Synonyms include vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-centeredness, self-regard, egotism and egoism. The common theme is that it is all about "me" and "self." In its extreme form this presents itself as a clinical dysfunction. You probably know someone who displays these characteristics in an extreme form.

At a more subtle level, however, narcissism is something that dogs many of us and we might never notice it. Is my drive to succeed in ministry really about me (self-absorption) or about God? Is our tendency to hold on to material things with a tight hand (often being stingy with God and others about self-centeredness and fear of not having enough or about generosity and an open hand? Does our desire or need for the applause of others, fancy titles, or authority reflect Jesus or our own egotism? Even overconfidence in our decisions can reflect a significant level of narcissism which is why supremely confident leaders rarely listen to the advice or push back of others. 

On the part of leaders, here are some of the behaviors that reflect a level of narcissism.

• Taking credit for work performed by others
• Needing the limelight
• Not listening to the input of others
• Needing to get one's way
• Supreme confidence in all decisions
• A need to be at the center of attention
• Being stingy on thank you's and platforming others
• Insecurity with staff who are better at something than themselves
• Poor treatment of others
• A critical spirit
• Using others for our own agendas
• Defensiveness
• Focus on ourselves and our issues to the exclusion of  the needs of others.
• Quick anger when things don't go our own way
• Being jealous of the success of others
• Needing to be in charge
• Not apologizing for failures

It is worth thinking back over the past month and asking ourselves what decisions reflected narcissistic tendencies and which reflected a generous spirit that looks like Jesus? We are by our lower nature intrinsically selfish (narcissistic) and it is the Holy Spirit's work in our lives that moves us from a focus on self to a focus on Jesus and others. But it is a long journey of a deeper understanding of who we are, what motivates us and where we reflect our own interests more than those of Christ. All of us live with narcissism. The question is how aware we are of it and what we are doing about it. 

Posted from Grand Rapids, MI

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

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From the Economist, the problem of missing girls in China and India

The marriage squeeze in India and China

Bare branches, redundant males

Distorted sex ratios at birth a generation ago are changing marriage and damaging societies in Asia’s twin giants

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Encouragement and leadership lessons from Winston Churchill for pastors

I am a huge fan of Winston Churchill and have read dozens of books on him. There a great number of leadership lessons that can be learned from his life, good and bad so I was captivated by the following article on the lessons of his life for ministry leaders. If you are a pastor (or any leader) this article will encourage you. From ChurchPastor.com.

5 Lessons Pastors Should Learn from Winston Churchill

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Ten ways pastors and congregations irritate one another in serious ways

Pastors and congregations always have issues with one another, at least among certain individuals. Having worked extensively with both sets (including church leaders as congregants) I would suggest that the following set of five irritants for each party are worth thinking through. It might also make for a robust board/pastor discussion. These irritants may be real or perceptions but either way they are real to those who experience them.

Five ways pastors irritate congregants:
One: Defensiveness. Many congregants or church leaders feel that when they address concerns with their pastor that the response is not a healthy open dialogue but defensiveness as the pastor may take the concern as an attack or criticism of him rather than a suggestion or observation for the ministry. I have seen long term members leave their church (with sadness) because they did not feel as if their senior pastor took their concerns seriously, or even cared they were there. We all know that not all concerns can be addressed but defensiveness or lack of concern causes great irritation on the part of congregants.

Two: Personal agendas. Congregants and church leaders all have a vested stake in what happens in the ministry of the church. When they sense that their senior leader has his own agenda which they feel he is imposing on the congregation without process, feedback or buy in it is deeply discouraging. Yet it is not an uncommon issue, especially as new pastors come in with their dreams and hopes and philosophy without taking into account the dreams, hopes and history of the congregation.

Three: Dismissiveness of the past. New pastors (especially) often talk and act as if all things good started with their tenure and ignore or dismiss the prior history of the congregation. All of us who lead stand on the shoulders of others and it is irritating and discouraging for congregations to hear from their senior leader all of the faults of the church and how he is going to make the church what it needs to be. Of course churches need to change and sometimes it is radical change that is needed but wisdom places diplomacy and graciousness at the top of the list rather than criticizing the past. Ignoring history is always disempowering because it ignores the very individuals who made the church what it is today.

Four: The inability to disagree with people and still stay connected to them. Way too many senior leaders see people as either "for them" or "against them" based on whether they agree or disagree with one another. This reflects bad Emotional Intelligence and poor relational skills. Once this happens, many good people find that they are no longer listened to or even appreciated. It is painful for a faithful leader to be marginalized simply because he/she has disagreed with the senior leader who cannot live with that disagreement and stay connected relationally.

Five: Introducing changes too quickly and without proper process. Most people are change resistant which means that if change is needed (and it often is) a process must be run with those impacted by the change to bring them along, answer their questions and calm their concerns. Many senior leaders are highly deficient at the change process and the lack of process produces anger and disenchantment in the congregation. Pastors often then demonize those who they feel are resistant when the resistance was actually a result of their own lack of process in the changes they brought.

Five ways congregations irritate pastors
One: Pettiness. When working with churches in conflict I am always amazed at how petty many of the issues people want to talk about are. Choices a pastor and their spouse make in their lifestyles or the fact that they don't do what the last pastor or spouse did or something said in the pulpit - there is no end to the pettiness that some parishioners can have and are willing to make their opinions known, sometimes widely.

Two: Unwillingness to change in the face of evidence that it is deeply needed. Admittedly, this is often a matter of the skill of a senior leader to negotiate needed changes but there are plenty of congregations who have resisted change leading to three or four pastors facing the same issues in the church and leaving in discouragement. Congregations that resist needed changes will eventually die and it can be deeply frustrating to healthy leaders who are doing their best to bring health to the congregation.

Three: An inward focus rather than an outward focus. Healthy leaders will never settle for an internal focus when the community around them is absent a relationship with Jesus. Yet many churches are inward focused and see few people coming to faith in Christ. There may well be growth but in many instances it is simply transfer growth. Healthy leaders want both new life in Christ and life transformation. When they are kept from moving in this direction it is disempowering and frustrating and I have to believe to God as well.

Four: A divided board that is unwilling to police its own members. Hardly a week goes by that I don't get a call or an email from a pastor (or board member) about a dysfunctional board that will not police its members. What is left is often a divided board that literally accomplishes nothing of significance. It's mission has been hijacked by its ongoing dysfunctionality and the pastor is often a hostage to that stagnant leadership group. Pastors are dependent on a healthy board for healthy leadership and ministry. When boards won't police their own there is little a pastor can do.

Five: A stingy congregation or board. Pastoring a local church is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. You have as many bosses as you have congregants, you have people who feel free to say the most inappropriate things, you must accept all who come, there are constant crises in the lives of people and you get to preach each or almost every Sunday. No pastor goes into ministry for the material benefits but congregations show their appreciation by being generous and their lack of appreciation by being stingy. I have seen many examples of both but the latter sends a powerful message of a lack of appreciation to their pastor.

A great response to this blog would be a candid conversation between a board and their pastor. Both might learn something of significance.

Posted from Phoenix, AZ

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Why our response to Nepal's earthquake matters

From a human perspective the needs of the people of Nepal are currently massive. The pictures tell the story. Homes gone, possessions lost, water hard to get, sanitation and basic infrastructure and all those things we take for granted damaged or non-existent.  Basic human compassion should compel us to pray, and care and give so that people's lives can be rebuilt. It could have been us!

There is also a divine perspective on events like we are witnessing in Nepal. I put it this way: "Nothing happens in our world, good or bad which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build His church." 

There is always a story behind the stories in the news and it is God's story. Many do not know, for instance that Nepal has one of the fastest growing Christian populations. Many do not know that it is crises like these that give the Gospel a huge opportunity to take a quantum leap as the international and local church mobilizes to help deeply hurting people. After the Asian tsunami, for instance, Ache, Indonesia, one of the most closed places to Christians was by necessity opened up and the Christian's response to the humanitarian needs changed forever the area's view of Jesus and Christians and many came (and are still coming) to Christ.

Paul, speaking in Athens made the point that God has a hand in the events of a people's lives for a Gospel purpose: 

Acts 17:26-27New American Standard Bible (NASB)

26" and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, 27 that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us."

The events of our world are not as random as they appear, for God, in His sovereignty and in His desire to see people reach out for Him and find Him uses events such as this earthquake to cause otherwise complacent individuals to look for spiritual answers in the right places. Nothing happens in our world, good or bad which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build His church.

You and I are His agents in this Gospel opportunity. We are His hands, His feet, His voice and those who can tangibly show His love to a hurting people. The large NGO's will come and go. Many ministries such as ReachGlobal will be rebuilding and helping communities and individuals for the next five to ten years. Our response to this disaster has eternal consequences for the Gospel. It is a huge opportunity to meet both basic human needs as well as eternal heart needs. We ought to see these situations in light of God's perspective rather than simply a human perspective - compelling as that is.

For the latest update from ReachGlobal you can see ongoing reports from the Crisis Response Blog as well as ways to help.

Posted from Tucson, AZ

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The ONE thing I look forward to the moment I die and it will be my greatest moment of freedom and joy

Death stirs all kinds of emotions for us. Even as believers the unknown causes us anxiety. I say that with some experience as I have faced death several times and looked it the face with realism and all the emotions that accompany that experience. In two instances I was pretty sure my earthly existence was over. In another I knew it could be. What I say I don't say lightly. It has come with great pain and struggle physically and emotionally!

So it is something I have thought about a lot. And in many ways it has been a gift. The question is, how can we welcome something we don't look forward to? I hope to live a long time but I look forward to one moment that will be the best moment of my existence.

It is not death.

It is the moment I look for the first time into the eyes of Jesus who I will meet the instant I leave this life and enter the next.

Think for a moment of what eyes tell you. You look into the eyes of another and you see a piece of their soul. That is why lovers look into the eyes of the one they love. Eyes show love, amazement, anger, mercy, cynicism and whatever is in the mind of the one whose eyes you are looking at. 

I believe there will be no more amazing and life changing moment than that instant when I look into the eyes of my Savior for the first time. He is described in the book of Revelation this way: "And among the lampstands was someone 'like a son of man dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double edged sword.. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance'" (Revelation 1:13-16)

It is One like no other! This is the One who created me. This is the One who loved me when I didn't deserve love. This is the One who rescued me and paid for my sin. This is the One who sustained me through ever moment of my life. This is the One who adopted me and gave me all the amazing gifts listed in Ephesians 1 and 2. This is the One who gave me mercy, grace, forgiveness, redemption, sanctification and His Spirit through no merit of my own. None!

What will I see? It cannot be described but I will do my best. I will see in His eternal eyes the most amazing love, forgiveness, truth, compassion, understanding, grace, mercy, loving kindness, holiness and acceptance that I have ever longed for. I will know that I am home. I will know that I am eternally loved. I will know that for the first time in my life all is truly well and always will be. I will know that I am home with the One I was made for.

At that moment the struggles which have plagued me will be forever gone. The sins that beset me will be forever forgotten. The pain I have experienced will be fully released. The fears I have lived with will be forever gone. All I will have left is the freedom that we were originally made for. I will also know that everything I have endured for His sake will be worth it. His eyes will say it all. Any words of His will strike my heart like lightning as they will be words of complete love for He made me for Himself. 

I cannot know how I will respond. How does one respond in the presence of God? I know it will not be fear for fear will be banished along with tears and sorrow and pain and heartache. As the song asks, will I dance for him, fall on my face for him, or have any words to say to Him? All I know is that in that moment I will fully understand what I have tried to understand this side of life - fully. He will be everything I need, my heart will be fully at peace and every struggle completed, every desire fulfilled, every yearning completed. For the first time in my existence ALL will be well and I will be complete. 

What do I look forward to when He brings me home? I just want to look into the eyes of Jesus. Everything else will be extra including eternity with Him and with His family. I know that the moment His eyes meet mine, all will be different. At that moment He will wipe the tears from my eyes - regrets, sin, pain, disappointment, unfulfilled dreams, the love I didn't give or receive and it will be well with my soul - forever. Freedom and joy forever. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Nepal earthquake update from the BBC and ReachGlobal

Nepal earthquake: Death toll rises above 3,000

EFCA and ReachGlobal Response

Nepal Earthquake Response Fact Sheet – 4/25/15 Edition

1)      What happened?

A 7.8 magnitude earthquake struck Nepal yesterday, April 25, 2015.  Damage reports are still coming in, but it appears to be a major crisis. Our partner, the Nepali Church Planting Movement, has had all 13 of its churches affected in some manner.  We are coordinating our efforts with OC International, with an assessment team traveling tomorrow, and more people on Tuesday. An Initial $10,000 in immediate response funds is in the process of being transferred. 

2)      Yes, we are responding.

·         We have partners in the area impacted.

·         We have started to initiate contacts with other partner ministries involved in the work in Nepal, as well as other NGO’s and relief organizations.

·         For up to date info go to http://go.efca.org/resources/project/nepal-earthquake-response ….info will be put here by early evening.

3)      What should I tell someone who wants to help?   

·         Pray -  see today’s current top story on www.efca.org  and blog post

·         Please send funds !!! 

·         Please stay tuned for more information to follow.  Collect name and email for anyone we have contact with. Direct them to email crisisresponse@efca.org  with their contact information, or call our Crisis Response office at  985-893-0218 ext 7.

·         We are not sending teams in initial stages. Mark is coordinating with our ReachGlobal Asia Division.  They through partners will be heading there asap to assess and determine needs/strategies with our local partners. 

4)      What kinds of needs do we have – prioritized.

·         Donations will be the immediate and priority need.

·         We ARE NOT interested in receiving bulk donations (eg. pallet loads) of gift-in-kind

5)      Where should I direct them for more info?  

·         https://reachglobalcrisisresponse.wordpress.com/   and crisisresponse@efca.org

6)      What should people give to?

·         Give to ‘Earthquake Relief  21709-3970’

·         Direct them to www.efca.org and click on donation link on that page.

7)      Can we give stuff…not just money?

·         No. We are not accepting any gift in kind!!!!

8)      Who should I contact for more info or to help in other ways?

·         Crisisresponse@efca.org

·         Call mark lewis 717-439-3138

A 7.8 magnitude earthquake struck Nepal yesterday, April 25, 2015.  With the epicenter between Kathmandu and Pokhara, major areas of Nepal have been hit very hard and there have been many building collapses and the death toll continues to rise.  We have staff and partners on the ground who are assessing the situation.  We have been working in partnership in church planting efforts in various parts of Nepal and in response to this crisis are mobilizing to provide aid and relief.  We (Reach Global and OC International) are currently assessing needs and developing our plan of action in partnership together.  This includes organizing relief to reduce the suffering of the people and mobilizing the church to minister to physical needs as well as bring the gospel.  We also ask you to pray for the nation and for relief efforts.  As we talked to our partners about needs, of course the first request is for prayer and so we would ask for you to mobilize your church to pray as this crisis unfolds and as we seek to help.  We also invite others to join in partnership with us.  Stephen Chandra (International leader, Asia for EFCA Reach Global) and Gill Nash (Assistant Asia Area Director, OC) are planning to travel to Kathmandu as soon as possible to further assess and direct efforts for relief.  

Growing a God sized heart

There are many things that matter in life but few as important as growing hearts that are God sized. That is a lifelong pursuit because His heart is so vast, so caring, so loving, so truthful, so courageous, so merciful, holy and gracious that all eternity will not suffice to get close to His heart. But there is no better pursuit.

Think about how having His heart impacts our relationships, actions and priorities:

• My care for the hurting - and they are all around us
• My responses to those who are irritating - we all have them in our lives
• My response to the crises that hit our world like the current crisis in Nepal
• How I choose to invest my gifts - for His purposes or primarily for mine
• How I choose to invest my funds - generosity for Him or selfishness for me
• The lens through which I make decisions - simply pragmatic or personal gain or through Jesus' eyes
• How I view my own personal sin - unimportant or deeply hurtful to God's heart
• How I view position, power and influence - as something I deserve or a trust that I hold

All Scripture reveals God's heart but if you really want to understand His heart read the Gospels for there we see it put into action in real life situations. What surprises us when we read carefully is how counter intuitive His heart is compared to what we would expect and to what society sees as normal. He surprised people around Him, His own disciples, those who were guilty, those who were resistant and the Pharisees. The more we develop His heart the more that will be true of our own lives as well. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How the prosperity gospel hurts racial reconciliation from Desiring God

How the Prosperity Gospel Hurts Racial Reconciliation

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How many hospitality hotspots does your church have?

It is common for a congregation to have an information booth where new folks can get information on what is happening and where to go. All good. But what would happen if every major ministry was a hospitality hotspot with trained hosts whose job it is to make people comfortable and ensure that people are engaged and have the information they need. 

A hospitality hotspot is one where there is an individual or individuals who:

• Look for new people and engage them
• Ensure that you get their name and them yours
• Introduce them to several others in the vicinity
• Re-welcome by name the following week
• Help get them connected
• Get their story as you can

One of key reasons people do not come back to a church is that no one engaged them when they came. Having multiple hospitality hotspots would solve that issue. It would also train a greater number of people in your congregation to engage with new folks.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

A fairly nutty article on Mars Hill Governance

After reading this three part series all I wanted to do was to ask, "How well did this work for you?"

Church Governance: Local Elders or Outside Board?ResultSource Part 3

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Seven reasons why I refuse to become cynical about the church and always remain hopeful.

Because I often consult with hurting churches (and fortunately some very healthy ones) I am often asked why I remain optimistic about the church. The truth is that I have seen the good, bad and the ugly but there are seven reasons that I never lose hope, refuse to become cynical and will always value the local church, domestically and internationally. 

First, the church is the Bride of Jesus. That is what He calls it (Ephesians 5) and it is the bride that will be reunited with the Bridegroom at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. The local church is God's hope of the world, and His local strategy for making disciples of His. How can I be cynical if He, knowing the best and the worst of the church still calls it His bride?

Second, wherever the people of God are gathered, the Holy Spirit is present. Perhaps this is why it is so hard to kill off a church! Where His followers are present, He is present and where He is present, He does His work whether we think He should or not. 

Third, lives are changed through the relationships of a local church. We might wonder how given some of the obvious dysfunctions but it is the presence of the Holy Spirit that makes this possible. This is why even a bad sermon can make a huge difference in the listener as the Holy Spirit works in their hearts in spite of our deficiencies (Romans 8). 

Fourth, even in the midst of great church dysfunction (and I have seen my share) many of God's people continue to live out their particular calling (Ephesians 2:10) in spite of what they see around them. In one particularly dysfunctional church many people said to me, "I wish the leaders would get their act together but in the meantime I am just doing what God has called me to do. And so real and effective ministry went on despite the dysfunction of the leaders.

Fifth, my own spiritual growth is not held hostage by church dysfunction. I am responsible for my growth and ministry and frankly I have left dysfunctional churches without any guilt. I cannot speak for others but I am not willing to give my life long term to a congregation that I cannot bring my neighbors to. It is not sacrilege to leave a church. At times it is the only thing that will get the attention of church leaders.

Sixth, churches can be revitalized. I can attest to that after working with many hurting churches. It is the will of good leaders and the Holy Spirit that makes this possible. Where leaders and pastors are unwilling to face truth, churches should frankly die and let something new grow.  But if the will is there it is possible for churches to become renewed and missional once again.

Seventh, Jesus is not unaware of the challenges of local churches and in spite of the challenges He continues to bless those who are committed to His plan for great fruit (John 15). He will bless the efforts of those who are committed to being the bride of His. However imperfect we are. 

It is my prayer that I will always be hopeful for the church and never succumb to cynicism which Jesus never has. However imperfect it is His bride and it is His joy and we will celebrate His family when we arrive in heaven at the second coming.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The God sized ask instead of a vision statement

In my long experience in working with churches and ministries there is inevitably confusion and disagreement over mission statements and vision statements. For me, the mission statement answers the question of why we exist and vision is a long term description of what we would love to see happen. However, the debate over which is which can take up a lot of time and conversation. In addition, many feel it presumptuous to assume that we can "deliver" on our vision as God is the source of the fruit our ministries see. 

I have a simple suggestion that makes the debate irrelevant.

Rather than a vision statement, what about a God sized ask that all are praying for in the spirit of Ephesians 3:20-21: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

God wants to surprise us with his power and he wants to show his glory in the church - for all generations. So why not ask Him a God sized ask and see what He does?

The mission of ReachGlobal is the same as that of our denomination. "We exist to glorify God by multiplying transformational churches among all people." Pretty straightforward.

But here is our God sized ask: We are asking God for one million disciplemakers impacting 100 million people with the Gospel and that He would give us 100 Acts 19 locations where the Gospel penetrates a whole city or region.

If that were simply our vision it could be seen as presumptuous. But instead it is a God sized ask (we cannot do it but He can). He is pleased with those who pray in faith and he loves to surprise us. We know that only He can make that happen. And it eliminates the debate between mission and vision.

We have a mission. We also have a God sized ask and He is fully capable of surprising us by doing immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. Finally, vision statements can be exciting and motivating. But a God sized ask is different. It is mobilization around prayer rather than around a statement. It mobilizes our people to pray for a common and God honoring result. It places the focus on Him rather than on us. And that is a big difference. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

It takes a moment but lasts a long time

It is a gift that is easily given and one that is deeply needed: A simple thank you, word of encouragement or a quick prayer for a specific need someone has. A small gift but one that acknowledges others and encourages their heart.

Leaders who take the time to do this are deeply appreciated. Anyone who does this is is giving value to another and encouraging their  hearts. And there is a significant encouragement deficit in our busy world today.

A friend and I were travelling in Asia recently and on our way to our ride he stopped for a moment to pray for an individual who had been part of our meeting. Eight weeks later he received an email thanking him for that small act of kindness. It was just what this individual needed at that time. Never underestimate the power of a thank you, a word of encouragement or taking an issue to the throne  of God. 

As I write this I am in Rochester, MN surrounded by patients who will be at Mayo today. I wonder how many of them will receive a word of encouragement today or someone who is interceding on their behalf. It takes a moment but lasts a long time.

Posted from Rochester, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.