Faith, the public square and Sandy Hook

It should not have passed anyone's attention that in the wake of major tragedies in our country we turn back to God and faith. The President's address to the families and friends at the memorial service for the victims of Sandy Hook was full of Scripture. Why? Because in the end it is a loving and sovereign God that we turn to when life comes undone.

What is ironic is that with God taken out of the public square in so many arenas it is only after great tragedy has struck that we have the option of talking about Him and our faith. One cannot do it in school but at the memorial service for children from the school one can and does. When society has nowhere else to turn it turns to God. When we should have been turning to God all along, at least in public there are many places we cannot.

It reminds us that whether we can address the faith question in public or not, we ought to be doing it in private with individuals on a regular basis. Our society lives with the bifurcation of shunning faith in the public square on a regular basis but needing to turn to it when there is no where else to turn. We, on the other hand need not and should not live that way. It is daily faith and its expression with others that allows us to face whatever undone moments we our our society find ourselves facing.

If faith is the place to turn in tragedy it is the place to turn to when times are good. We should not allow the rules of society or the courts regarding faith in the public square to impact our sharing of the good news one on one all the time. There are many who would shun God from all of life except secret individual beliefs. That this is not a real answer becomes evident every time our nation faces its challenges when the only place to turn to for comfort is Scripture and God and His Hope.

This is ironic. And challenging. But it also reveals that deep down, when the chip are down people know that there is a God that we must turn to. Let's make that God well known and lift His reputation high in our daily interactions.

Guarding our humility as leaders

Those who experience some leadership success run the risk of starting to believe their own press. After all, if I can make such successful ministry calls and grow a church, team or organization, I must be pretty good. And the better I think I am , the less likely I am to guard a humble spirit which is at the core of leaders of deep influence. How do we guard a humble heart?

First, always remember that our leadership is not about us. Each of us who leads are in a stewardship role. We steward the mission of the organization, the people who work with us (not for us), the strategies that will get us to success and the resources that are entrusted to us. As soon as we start to believe that it is about us, our leadership capital starts to dry up.

Second, surround yourself with highly competent people who will tell you the truth. Leaders are in a naturally precarious position. Many people will not tell their leaders what they are thinking and many leaders do not like to hear bad news. Some leaders actively work to stifle honest opinions. The result is that leaders often do not hear what they need to hear.

Wise leaders develop an ethos of candid conversation both with those close to them as well as throughout the organization. Sometimes it does not feel good because people can be unloving and critical in their critique but the alternative is to not know what we need to know.

Here is where unhealthy leaders flounder on the shoals. Because they see dissent, criticism or contrary opinions as a personal attack on them they stifle honest, open dialogue. Some actually respond in anger when contrary opinions are voiced. In shutting down conversation out of personal insecurity they both lose the intellectual capital of others and they don’t hear what they really need to hear. It is a net loss for the ministry and an indication that the leader thinks it is about him not the mission.

In our organization we have a rule that no issue is out of bounds for discussion as long as there are not personal attacks or hidden agendas. We don’t want any elephants in the room. At one meeting I was at early in my leadership of ReachGlobal I was told that there were many elephants in the room so I simply said, "lets name them.” The thing about elephants is that once you name them they are not elephants anymore.

Third, listen a lot more than you talk. Insecure leaders talk – a lot. They need to convince themselves and others that they have what it takes to lead although no one is fooled by their verbosity. Some time ago I had a lunch with a new CEO of a major Christian agency of which our organization was a member. In a two hour lunch this CEO asked me one question – at the very end. I walked away thinking, “he is not going to last long because it is all about him – not those he is serving. Within two years he was released from his position.

Listening carefully to others is both a posture and a builder of humility. It says, “I want to hear what you are thinking because you are valuable to this organization.” It indicates an otherness rather than selfishness. It sends a loud message that it is about “us” not “me.” I frequently talk to staff of Christian organizations who tell me that staff meetings are about their leader talking to them, not listening to them. It may be a sign of poor EQ, or insecurity or hubris, but it is not a posture of humility.

Listening also grows humility because we realize that there is a lot of intellectual capital beyond our own that we need to pay attention to. Those who listen well are far more likely to lead well than those who don’t.

Fourth, ask a lot of questions of a lot of people. The best leaders I know cultivate the art of asking questions. They are curious; they want to get into the heads of others. They want to learn and to gain different perspectives. Asking questions sends a strong message, “I don’t have all the answers and you are needed.” Ironically many leaders think that asking questions is a sign of weakness but the opposite is true. It takes a strong, self defined and personally secure leader to ask questions. They don’t need to pretend they have the answers and they are willing to be challenged by others.

In fact, questions work exceedingly well when one is being challenged or even attacked. Rather than bite back and escalate the situation questions can engage and deescalate the conversation. Saying “Talk to me about that” or “Unpack that for me” and “Help me understand your view on that” engage the other individual and keep the connection rather than cutting off the conversation with a rebuttal.

This is where good EQ matters. Internally we may be ready to take a big swipe and the individual may even deserve it. But wise leaders often guard their responses (and mouths) in order to manage what could otherwise be a problematic conversation.

Fifth, serve those who serve you. Leaders of deep influence serve those on their team and help them become the best that they can be as individuals, professionals and as contributors to the common mission. A great orchestra conductor helps to pull the very best music out of the group by coordinating, giving feedback, practicing and encouraging. We will only be as good as the team we lead so helping them become all they can be is foundational to our leadership.

Relationship also matters – not as one of the boys or girls – but genuine concern for those who are part of our staff. Staying connected, showing genuine concern and thanking them appropriately means a lot. People want to know that they are respected, appreciated and that their leader is more than just their leader. It is people who make ministry possible!

Too often leaders who are experiencing success move away from staying close to and serving those they lead. There is a temptation to move toward their own priorities rather than continuing to lead their team. After all, they are now important and influential! This results in a loss of leadership capital as their key team members feel abandoned or undervalued. As long as we lead others, the mission we serve and the people we serve must be our highest work related priority. When our personal success gets in the way of our leadership there is a net loss to that leadership. It has become about “me” not “us.”

What happens when churches lose their way

Many of us have experience with churches that lose their way. This happens when there is no longer a compelling vision, when there is not a discernible or consistent direction, when focus and clarity have been lost and leaders cannot answer the important questions of direction, mission, vision, and what we are after. It could be defined as mission malaise with serious consequences that are often not noticed until it is too late.

There are several symptoms of churches that lose their way. If you sense this is happening it is critical to deal with it as quickly as possible because the longer it lasts the more difficult it is to bring health and missional focus back.

Here are symptoms to watch for:

A clearly defined direction and vision is no longer being articulated. When this happens you know that whatever ministry vision was once present has dissipated and leaders have not been able to come to clarity on what is next. It is a dangerous place to be.

A restlessness is felt in the congregation by key leaders. Some people are not bothered by lack of direction and missional energy but good leaders are. That restlessness is felt in raising questions of direction and vision and sometimes pressure put on the senior pastor and the board.

Good leaders quietly leave. One of the most dangerous issues for churches that have lost their way is that good leaders and people who have been deeply involved in ministry over the years quietly leave the congregation. They usually don't make a statement but they want to be in a place where there is missional passion. Life is short and they want to be a part of a congregation that is serious about reaching their community and world. The sad thing is that when the church wakes up (if it does), the very people who could have helped them move forward are now gone.

Politics and infighting increases. When people are not focused on missional issues they start focusing inward and often get involved in petty conflicts that would never have arisen if we had more important issues to tackle. Church conflict is often a symptom of a church that has lost its way.  

Plateau and decline. When a church loses its way it usually stops growing, loses ministry energy and often starts to lose people as mentioned above. 

The explanations of leaders for lack of ministry energy, decline and people leaving does not make sense. Pastors and leaders of churches that lose their way often circle the wagons and either cast blame on others (often those who have left), circumstances or spiritualize the issue. When their explanations don't make sense to the average individual you can extrapolate that they know they are in trouble but don't know the way out. 

If your church has lost its way take action sooner rather than later. The longer you wait to deal with the need to re-envision and re-energize ministry the harder it will be. It is never easy to admit that you are in a bad place but until we face reality we cannot move on toward health.

A Lesson from Sandy Hook

Americans often think that evil is the providence of other places and other countries. The Sandy Hook massacre has reminded us that evil is among us as well as it exists among all people. And it impacts all of us. In fact, a youngster from a family that attended and EFCA church (my employer) was killed. Evil lives among all of us - a result of the fall. Our nation does not have an exemption from the impact of evil.

Our nation has deep needs. Tragedies like this that remind us of evil. Gridlock in Washington that prevents us from coming to common solutions. Economic issues that are impacting many. If there was ever a time to pray more and be more committed to reaching our communities it is now. 

It is hard to get ones hands around the kind of evil we witnessed yesterday. I never will. But such events make it possible to get our hands around the need our society has for the Gospel of Jesus which transforms lives, communities and institutions. Indeed, I am sure that in the aftermath of this event, the love of Jesus will be deeply evident through His people as they minister to the families impacted. We can join them by praying that God would be a comfort and that open hearts would turn to Him in a time of need.

There will be much debate about how to prevent such events in the future. More programs, gun control, security and perhaps other solutions. The real solution is the Gospel of Jesus. 

In times like this I am reminded of Paul's words to the Corinthians. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows (2 Corinthians 1; 3-5)."

The difference between urgent and strategic

I live with a sense of urgency that the Gospel becomes well known in a world that desperately needs a Savior. Anyone who does not does not understand the eternal implications of an eternity without Christ.

That urgency, however, should never cause us to short circuit our effectiveness by failing to do the hard work of being strategic in our ministries. Many ministry staff are tempted for the sake of urgency to move fast rather than to  plan for lasting and healthy ministry results. Moving fast to meet needs often causes us to cut corners and allow urgent action to overshadow long term results.

This is certainly true in missions where it is easy to see a need, jump in and take quick action without the hard work of understanding the context, developing local relationships and working toward developing church planting movements that are indigenous, self supporting, reproducing, healthy and interdependent. Urgent action rarely gets one to long term effectiveness.

It can be hard in ministry to be patient in developing strategies for long term results. And many do not. The temptation to do something often gets in the way of thinking through how we are proceeding and the unintended consequences of our strategy. Acting impulsively often yields short term gains at the expense of long term effectiveness. It also can create significant chaos and instability for staff involved. 

Whatever ministry you are involved in, think long term and strategic. Allow the urgency to fuel strategic thinking and Spirit dependence. But don't allow the urgent to short circuit long term and lasting results.

Dumb things senior leaders do

Complain about their board members

Bad move. First it violates board "rules of engagement," second it will get back to those you complain about and it will destroy trust with those board members and you. I recently heard of a pastor who was actually complaining about a board member of his to staff at another church and it came back to bite him and caused great distress for that board member (as it should) and destroyed any trust that was there. If one needs a healthier board or has issues with a board member, work through the issues on the board but never complain about your board members to others. Just as you would not want them to do that about you.

Create an "us versus them" mentality

This occurs when a leader blames the board for decisions that they or their staff do not like. Wait! The leader is part of that board that made the decision. In fact it is his/her senior team so to blame them is simply not to take responsibility for decisions that they made. In our organization we call this Leadership Default! Any time a leader blames the board for a decision whether subtly or outright he divides the board and the staff and creates an unhealthy us verses them mentality.

Take credit for success

It is a bad thing to do! Yes, organizations need great leadership and the quality of leadership matters. But, the fact is that great leaders create an environment where staff and volunteers can shine and in the end it is everyone involved who was responsible for success. Great leaders always take the spotlight of success off of themselves and put it on all those who made it happen. They are humble, they are appreciative, they thank others and lift others up. They don't have a need to be the one who gets the credit. Where they do, everyone notices!

Blame others for failure

Here is the flip side. When we see success we look out the window at those who created it and lift them up. When we see failure we look in the mirror and take the blame. Great leaders don't blame others but take the responsibility when things don't go well. Hard? Sometimes yes. But then again if we have nothing to prove and nothing to lose and if we are ultimately responsible we do the right thing and take the responsibility.

Are defensive

One of the common sins of ministry leaders is defensiveness. I think of pastors who are not administratively or leadership savvy but won't let qualified lay leaders help. Or leaders who need to be right all the time and have the answers (no one does so we need to get over it). Too many ministry leaders are not teachable, are not approachable, are not willing to listen to truth and in the end hurt themselves and the organization they lead by their hardheadedness. I ran into that buzz saw of defensiveness recently with a leader and it was ugly. Defensiveness and lack of teachability is foolish.

Fail to regularly thank volunteers and staff

We can never thank good people enough for their efforts, their prayer, their financial gifts and their work. Not doing so is a sign of narcissism - obviously it is about us. But ministry is not about us as leaders, it is about unleashing others to be successful whether in a professional or volunteer capacity. Thank people often and with sincerity and you will be loved for it.

Don't develop their staff

One of the top priorities of leaders is to develop those who work for them, to help them become all that they can be in line with how God has gifted and wired them. Why is it foolish not to develop staff or volunteers? Because the success of the organization depends directly on how good our staff are, how well they understand their wiring and strengths and how they are deployed in their sweet spot. And it is what Jesus did with His disciples, and it is what He wants us to do with others (Ephesians 4:12). Leaders who do not develop others do not understand leadership, or think that it is all about them.

Don't set clear expectations
When staff don't know what is truly expected of them, they are in a no win situation. If they move ahead on something and show initiative but it is the wrong initiative (the senior leader was not clear on boundaries) they get dinged. Much staff frustration revolves around unclear expectations or expectations that change unexpectedly - usually because the senior leader is not clear either. Clarity for all is a gift. Lack of clarity is a curse. The number one job of leaders is to communicate clarity for his/her team. The number two job of leaders is to ensure that that missional clarity is delivered on.

Criticize staff in front of others
This is one of the most disempowering and dishonoring things a leader can do. There are certainly times when staff need direct and honest feedback but praise should be public and criticism should be private. It is a matter of honor and respect. Staff rarely resent honest feedback in private but will remember it for a long time if done publicly.

Dictate rather than collaborate
I have a friend who thinks that leadership means telling other people what to do! That is rarely good leadership. Rather, leaders build teams, empower people to use their gifts and wisdom and create a collaborative environment where the team functions together under good leadership. Leaders who dictate, or micromanage do not understand the nature of leadership and will not find or keep quality staff.

Treat staff carelessly
Every interaction with staff carries with it a message of respect, disrespect, appreciation or lack of it. It is easy for leaders to treat these relationships carelessly since they have authority. They expect respect but don't always convey it and there is not much staff can do when they don't receive it. Every interaction that is careless, harsh, unkind or sharp costs a leader coinage with staff. Wise leaders treat others the way the desire to be treated.

Ultimately when we do these dumb things we hurt the organization and the staff who work for us. Every once in a while it pays to take a step back and honestly evaluate the quality of our leadership - and perhaps even ask our staff how we are doing.

How we respond to the coaching of our supervisor makes all the difference

Healthy organizations build into their system a mentoring/coaching component to ensure that all staff are developing their professional skills on an ongoing basis. Unfortunately many supervisors treat this as a formality rather than an opportunity to develop their staff and many staff treat this as a necessary evil rather than as an opportunity to grow.

All of us should be under authority. It may be the authority of a supervisor or of a board but unless one is self employed, we live with authority. The question is whether we see the coaching and mentoring of our supervisor (or board) as a necessary evil or as an opportunity to grow, learn and develop. Our attitude toward the input of our supervisor(s) has a great deal to do with our capacity to grow.

Good supervisors want to see their staff flourish. The better my staff becomes, the better our ministry so I will do whatever it takes to develop and help my staff flourish. Good staff come to this relationship with both expertise and humility. They are on staff because of their expertise but they understand their limitations as well and desire to grow. Good supervisers have the ability to help staff think with greater clarity about their roles and how best to fulfill them.

As one who is both a supervisor and supervised (by the president of our denomination) I both want to help others grow and I want to grow. With those I supervise I desire to challenge and clarify and see their potential released. In my relationship with my supervisor I also want to be growing and released which requires me to take off my leader hat at times and put on the learner hat. Lets face it, we often like to mentor others more than be mentored as the former puts us in a position of influence while the latter requires a spirit of humility and learning. Of course leaders who cannot follow don't belong in leadership so it is a good balance and regular reminder.

Supervisors who take a mentoring role seriously think about how they can best coach their staff. Staff who take the input of their supervisor seriously prepare carefully for their monthly meeting. When it becomes perfunctory it loses its value. When both parties take it seriously it is deeply valuable.

Personal clarity for 2013

December is a great month to think through the past year and to plan for the next year in our personal lives. God designed our lives with a rhythm on purpose. Each new day turns a new page, each month is a new chapter and each year a new volume. Volume 57 starts for me on January 1 and I want it to count. As the number grows so do the stakes as time cannot be reclaimed. 

Don't move on to 2013 before evaluating and celebrating 2012. Consider these questions:

• What were the significant events of 2012 and how did they change me?
• Where did I see significant growth in my  life this past year?
• How did God prove Himself to be faithful to me?
• Is there anything I need to confess and put behind me?
• Are there any relationships that need reconciliation?

Since each year is a new volume and offers new opportunities, these are the kinds of questions I ask each December:

• What are the key areas of personal growth I need to focus on this coming year?
• How will I stay fresh in my spiritual life, marriage, family and professional life in the coming year? 
• I feel God nudging me in specific areas of my life. How will I respond to those nudges?
• What are the three to five big rocks that I must accomplish in my work life?
• What is my plan to stay on track?

Whatever volume you are on 25 or 75, don't waste it. Take the time to think and reflect before the new year starts.

Signs of weakness that make for strong spiritual leaders

I doubt a book entitled signs of a weak leader would make the best seller list. Of course, the Scriptures were never that trendy or politically correct and what Jesus and Paul considered good leadership practices are often antithetical to common wisdom. Yet, Paul makes a strong statement that "when I am weak, then I am strong." So what are the signs of weakness that actually bring leadership strength Jesus style?

Dependence
The world celebrates independence while Scripture celebrates dependence on God. When Paul prayed that his thorn in the flesh would be taken away, God said No! It would stay to keep him humble and dependent on Him. Paul got the message and celebrated his weakness because in it he was forced to rely on God's power. Corinthian "pseudo apostles" came in pride and clever words while Paul came in weakness and dependence and the Holy Spirit's power.

Humility
The world celebrates personal power and strength while Scriptures celebrate humility. A humble leader puts himself or herself under the authority of God. They recognize and celebrated the gifts and strengths of others and understand their strengths and weaknesses well and don't pretend to be other than they actually are. Humble leaders don't lead alone but allow the Holy Spirit and others to speak into their leadership.

Service
In the world, leaders are served and fawned upon and often live in a bubble of privilege while in Jesus' Kingdom, leaders serve those they lead to help others be successful. Jim Collins definition of level five leadership in Good to Great redefined leadership along New Testament lines. My leadership is only as good as my service to those I lead and the staff who work under my stewardship.

Meekness
In the world, leaders are celebrated who exert power and authority while the Scriptures celebrated those who exhibit meekness. One of the better definitions of meekness is "power under control." It includes submission to God, teachability, patience in suffering, gentleness, kindness and not needing to platform oneself. Meek leaders are leaders without guile or selfish agenda.

Truth 
The world often celebrates and practices versions of truth designed to strengthen one's position while Scripture celebrates true truth because God is a God of truth. This often means saying things that are hard, admitting that one was wrong, and avoiding spin which is a redefinition of truth (or untruth). Spiritual leaders are not afraid of truth.

Stewardship
In the world, leadership is often about me. In the Kingdom, leadership is about Him and serving His interests and leading as He would lead. It is leadership as a stewardship which is not about us but about leading on His behalf. It reflects a conviction that life is not about us but about Him and His interests.

Weakness can in fact be strength. We can be strong leaders by the definition of the world or by the definition of the Kingdom.Which definition are you leading with?

Thoughts on the incarnation

There is no more beautiful story than that of the incarnation. We have trivialized the incarnation into a nice holiday season with presents and fancy trees when the reality was stark and harsh.

The Son of God, the one who was present at the creation of the world, the one who mankind rejected to go their own way, the king of the universe, was willingly sent by the Father to become a baby in a squalid town, Bethlehem, to grow up in a working class home making furniture. Think of that, the one who had made the world, the mountains, the seas, the animals and the sky, who put the galaxies in their place is now sawing tables and chairs.

In becoming a man, in taking on our humanity, everything changed in how we could relate to God for in becoming like us and living with us for a season we could touch, hear, learn from and relate to the unapproachable God. The Apostle John put it this way, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Never again could men and women say, “I cannot understand God” for now they had met and can continue to meet the Lord of the universe through the person of Jesus Christ.

When at thirty years old, Jesus started his ministry he was clear about one thing. The only way to the father, the only way to salvation, the only way to know God was through him. He declared, “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except through me” (John 14:6). There are no alternate routes, there are no other spiritual guides, he and he alone is the route to the Father!

This is not politically correct and never has been. If you read the gospels and the life of Paul you discover it was not well accepted in that day either. For the religious officials in Judea, Jesus could not be the awaited Messiah because he came in poverty and died on a cross in shame. For the Greeks and Romans with all their various “new age” type religions including statues to “unknown God’s” (just to stay on the safe side), a savior who died and rose again was nothing less than foolishness on a grand scale.

In our day, Christianity is vilified and marginalized and alternate spiritual routes are explored and embraced no matter that they contradict one another and have no basis for truth. I am intrigued by how quickly people grab on to numerous alternate spiritual routes that have no validation in history and no internal consistency, but only vague and foggy spiritual language but it is believed as truth while Christianity with its historical grounding, Scriptures and internal consistency is rejected as foolishness.

One of the lies of the evil one is that life is about us. There is another lie: that we can choose our path to God – which is a grand lie indeed since it elevates our wisdom above God’s and allows us to create our own God, our own path and our own spirituality. That is a greater lie than the first one because now life is not only about us but we have the ability to determine its destiny.

If Jesus was trying to create a popular religion he failed miserably. God does not appear as a baby, make furniture, live itinerantly without a home, befriend prostitutes and the sick and the poor and sinners. He does not allow himself to be nailed to a cross so that he can bear our sin on his own body, naked, bleeding, diminished and alone. He would not choose twelve followers who would not qualify for anything other than blue collar work and tell them to change the world (which they did). He would not choose ordinary people like us down through the centuries to keep on changing the world – which he does.

Jesus did not come as a religious guru, or to found a popular religion. He came as the Lord of the Universe, took on our bones and flesh and with truth and grace pointed us to himself as the one who could save us from our sin, give hope to the hopeless, heal the sick and lead us into a relationship with the father – through him. And Jesus and the message of the gospel have been transforming individual lives, one at a time ever since. Not in religion but in relationship.

Anyone who is serious about a relationship with Jesus Christ must confront the claim he made that he is the only way to the father. There are no alternate routes. If he is wrong on that he was not God. If he is right on that he is the only God.

Does your church have a meaningful job description for your senior pastor?

I remember receiving the pastoral job description for a church that I ended up serving in the eighties. Not only was it one that the Apostle Paul could not fulfill but it was a long list of activities rather than a short list of key results. I find that many church boards do not have clarity with their senior leader on what the results of their work should be so they are effectively operating without a meaningful agreed on job description.

With senior staff a list of activities in a job description is not helpful but a short list of expectations is. How they fulfill those expectations is their prerogative. That they fulfill them is not.

In my own role as a senior leader for ReachGlobal I am responsible for fulfilling five expectations. Knowing these five allows me to focus my activities around what is truly important.

1. Expectation one is that I am always developing personally in my personal life and that I have a plan for the year to do so.
2. Expectation two is that I provide strategic direction to ReachGlobal and drive a clear missional agenda.
3. Expectation three is that I build a strong, unified, results oriented leadership team in ReachGlobal.
4. Expectation four is that I develop current and future leaders for the organization.
5. Expectation five is that I mobilize the necessary resources for ReachGlobal to be successful.

If you are in leadership do you know what is necessary for you to be successful. If you supervise others, have you provided clarity on what the expected results are for the work of your staff? If you are a board, have you defined this for your senior leader?

Again, notice that specific activities are not defined but outcomes of the job are. How I achieve these outcomes is not a matter of concern to my supervisor - the EFCA president. That I fulfill them is.

Ten ways that ministry boards undermine themselves

Ministry boards undermine their own work when they ignore the following issues.

1. Board members who disagree with board decisions outside the board.
2. Allowing any one board member to hold up a decision because they have a policy on unanimity.
3. Focusing on day to day management rather than on organizational values, direction and those things they want to accomplish.
4. Learning together as a board.
5. Building agendas around the most important issues.
6. Helping the ministry get to maximum clarity on what spells success.
7. Crowding out prayer because of all the business of the board. Prayer is the business of the board!
8. Ensuring that the ministry has an annual ministry plan that drives the missional agenda.
9. Operating without a board covenant that defines relationships, expectations and procedure for the board.
10. Not living with a culture of expectation that God is going to do something significant through the ministry.

You know your ministry organization is unified and healthy when...

We assume and want to think that our ministries are unified and aligned when in fact they often are not. Why does it matter? Non unified ministries are simply a collection of independent ministries housed under a common name. This is true of many churches where each ministry does their own thing. It is also true of many mission organizations where various divisions or teams or missionaries are going their own way oblivious to a common and unified and aligned vision, mission and strategy. The net result is a dilution of missional effectiveness and organizational confusion along with competition among its parts.

Unified organizations have far greater potential for missional effectiveness because everyone is pulling in the same direction. Here are some of the characteristics of a unified, healthy organization.

One: There is a mission, vision and set of guiding principles that are common to all, that all leaders believe and live out and which their part of the ministries conform to. In other words the ministry has great clarity about who it is and what it is about. In addition, all ministries are on the same page and know what that page is. It is not as common as one might assume, nor easy to clarify what the whole ministry is about and just having these on paper somewhere does not count! 

Two: There is active cooperation, coordination and synergy between leaders across the ministry. This only works when the first characteristic is present. If there is not mission and vision that applies to the whole, the parts will not know how to cooperate and coordinate but are forced to do their own thing. Often in the absence of ministry clarity we try to force cooperation and synergy but it rarely works and usually creates significant frustration. The best glue among leaders and ministries is a common missional agenda that equally applies to all and which all can live out.

Three: All ministry leaders are evangelists for the same missional agenda. In a truly unified and healthy ministry, every key leader is equally passionate about the clearly defined purpose and vision of the ministry. In the organization I lead, ReachGlobal, I knew things had changed when people started telling me that they heard the same story from everyone they talked to along with the same passion.

Four: The senior team representing different ministry divisions sees itself as one united team based on common clarity rather than as representatives of the various ministries they oversee, merely coming to a common meeting table. Many church staff teams, for instance are not a united team based on common clarity but are rather attending a common meeting representing their own clarity. There is a critical difference between these two versions of team and that difference tells you whether the organization is truly united and healthy.

Five: The ministry as a whole and among its parts can point to results that reflect its clarity. The central ministry focus of ReachGlobal, for instance, is to develop, empower and release healthy ReachGlobal staff and healthy national leaders. To the extent that we live that out in each corner of the world where we work we are unified and healthy. To the extent that the ministry parts are focused on different priorities with different results we are not. 

These characteristics are markers of three simple facts about a unified and healthy ministry organization.

There is maximum ministry clarity for the whole that applies equally to each of its parts.

There is alignment by all around that maximum clarity.

There are results by all based on that maximum clarity.

If that is true of your organization, you are truly a unified organization. If it is not you have some work to do, starting with real clarity!

Facing our insecurities and overcoming them

Much personal dysfunction stems from personal insecurities that have not been addressed. For leaders this is particularly important because whatever behaviors stem from those insecurities will impact their staff and even the culture of their organization. Our insecurities certainly impact us as individuals. 

Since no one has perfect Emotional Intelligence, we all struggle at some level with insecurities. Healthy people understand those areas where they tend to be insecure and seek to manage or overcome them. 

How does one recognize insecurities? Since they stem from areas where we feel personally vulnerable, whenever we feel unease or our ego challenged we are probably dealing with an insecurity. If I, for instance, become defensive when challenged, I am most likely dealing with insecurity - the need to be right and the fear of being wrong! So the question I would need to ask is "why do I fear being wrong?" Why does it matter? Because the dysfunction if not addressed shuts down robust dialogue with others, keeps one from receiving input, creates defensiveness and inner turmoil when challenged. 

Think of some of these common dysfunctions:

• Fear of being wrong and a need to be right
• Fear of failure so I am driven to succeed
• Fear of people knowing the real us so we hide our areas of weakness and don't develop deep relationships
• Fear of not having the answer so we don't ask others for help
• Fear of not getting the credit so we downplay the contributions of others and find ways to platform ourselves
• Fear of people rejecting us so we tell people what they want to hear, don't differentiate ourselves or resolve conflict
• Fear of conflict so we gloss over issues rather than resolve them
• Fear of someone doing better than us so we put them down
• Fear of disappointing others so we never say no
• Fear of looking weak so we pretend to be something we are not

There are many more insecurities but the common word is fear! Whenever we have fears we are likely dealing with some kind of insecurity. While fear can be a positive emotion (the house is on fire and I run for my life) fears connected to insecurities are not and bring us pain and cause behaviors that hurt us and hurt others.

There are three questions related to insecurities worth pondering.

1. Where are my areas of fear and what are my insecurities?
2. What lies behind my personal insecurities? What causes them?
3. What can I do to either manage or overcome my insecurities? What behaviors do I need to change or manage? 

Don't underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit and a right understanding of our completeness in Jesus in this equation. He made us the way we are wired. We don't need to fear or prove anything to Him. If that is true, why do we live with fears or need to somehow prove ourselves to others. When we are complete in Jesus we have far less need to live with our insecurities and fears.

Never forget

Every December 4 through January 14 since 2007 I daily read the blog www.reachtj.blogspot.com as a remembrance to the hope we have in Jesus and the grace that he extends so freely to us. The blog is the account of my 42 day hospital stay from which I never should have survived - but God gave my family hope and He extended to me  the grace of an extension of life for which I am eternally grateful. 

The battle between life and death started on December 4 when I entered the hospital unable to breath. They quickly determined that I was in congestive heart failure and had massive pneumonia and a huge pleural effusion (a collection of fluid in the wall of the lung-like having a liter of pop stuck inside your lung wall). What they would not know for a week was that it was MRSA  or Methicyllin resistant staphylococcus aureas- a "super bug" pneumonia. This would lead to septic shock, Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, a failed mitral valve in my heart, high fevers that required ice cooling jackets, the shutting down of some of my organs, heartbeats of 220 or higher without the ability to shock my heart back into rhythm - all this while I was in a coma and on a ventilator. On a number of occasions the doctors gathered the family to prepare them for my imminent death.

Amazingly God gave my wife, Mary Ann, hope two days into this ordeal. Two days later was the day that I told her I believed I was going to die. It was the day that they would put me on a ventilator from which I should not have woken up alive. It was the day that I could barely breath as I felt I was drowning in my own fluids. But two days before that day as she sat by me bed she asked Jesus, "How should I pray?" And God replied in an audible voice (to her), "It will be very close, but T.J. will live." A voice of hope when there was no human hope. A voice of hope that she clung to during the next weeks of a life and death struggle. When the doctors gently told the family there was no hope she stood on the hope God had given her. She was a rock of faith as were my sons Jon and Chip who walked through the dark days with her and became men in the process. I owe a deep debt of gratitude to the love and perseverance of Mary Ann, Jon and Chip!

Our family experienced amazing grace during and after those days. Our prayer partners came to pray and love on the family. Friends gathered around and sheltered them in their love. And time and again, God gave His grace when it was needed. One night as my youngest sister was standing by my bed angry with God tired and discouraged, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Immediately she knew that it was going to be OK whether I lived or I died. She turned to see who was there but there was no one. She knew she had been touched by God or an angelic being. On another day, a nurse came in tears to Mary Ann and said through tears, "I was just in T.J.'s room and God gave me a vision of him alive and well!"

People often ask me what I remember from my coma. Only one thing. I knew that my lungs were ruined but that God had a set of perfectly healthy lungs for me. That was the Spirit's encouragement to me when I was deeply sick and unable to process what was going on. Another blessing!

Most of all we were blessed through the thousands who prayed for God to do something miraculous and extraordinary. It is the faith and prayers of thousands around the world whom God answered in His sovereignty in choosing to heal my broken heart, clear my lungs, defeat MRSA, septic shock, cool the fevers until the day I walked out of the hospital on January 14, a product of His grace.

God gives us hope in all situations and His grace is with us always. Think back to the situations you have been in where He has shown you His hope and His grace and never forget. Never forget! It is His grace that sustains us day to day, it is His hope that walks with us through the dark nights of the soul that we all experience. Someone asked me, "How do you remember?" One of the ways I remember is to read the blog put up for me daily from December 4 to January 14. It is a month of remembrance for me.  I will follow that practice until I see Jesus face to face and can thank Him in person. 

I am a walking billboard of God's hope and grace. So are you. Never forget. Always live in thanks for His hope and grace. 

http://www.reachtj.blogspot.com/

The object of our anger in sinful situations

Recently I had to struggle with the failure of a Christian leader who I admired and respected. The pain of his actions have impacted numerous people including those who were closest to him. There have been the normal emotions of anger, betrayal, disappointment, grief and amazement at the behavior. These are normal emotions which only time, forgiveness and reconciliation can heal. Fortunately, no act of sin is beyond Jesus's work for us on the cross so I remain hopeful.

It did raise some questions for me, however. How does one respond in such a situation? I know that forgiveness is necessary and the twin roads of accountability and grace are the means to healing. But I was also struck by two other emotions.

The first is that I was angry with sin. Think about the pain in your own life that has been inflicted by others. Then consider the pain that has been inflicted by ourselves to us and to others. Sin is ugly and painful and harmful to all concerned. I hate sin and the more of it I find in my life or see its workings in others the more I hate it. There is nothing good or redeeming or worthwhile about sin. That is why Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to forgive our deep, innate, wicked sinfulness. 

Anger at sin is an appropriate emotion - perhaps even more than anger at those who perpetuate it. That does not let them off the hook but it is a reminder that the effects of the fall are huge and universal and very personal. I think of the pain my own sin has had on those I love and it makes me sad. 

Then I found myself angry at Satan. He loves sin and the destruction and carnage it brings while God hates sin and died for it. Satan is a master at using sin to destroy relationships, people, ministry, families and whatever he can. This is the point that Paul was making in Ephesians 6. Behind every sinful action is a sinful being whose minions are ever working to hurt and destroy and kill. Especially those who follow Jesus.

Finally I found myself sad for the one who violated trust and those whose trust was violated. I was reminded of the need for spiritual armor and vigilance in my own life. The phrase "there but for the grace of God" became more clear in my own mind. We are all fallen and vulnerable apart from the grace and power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Am I disappointed with my friend? Does he need to confess and make restitution? Are there people who should be angry with his actions? Are there consequences to his actions? All yes. And I have often been disappointed with myself. But my anger is largely focused on sin itself and the one who is the author of sin, Satan. And I am even more aware of the vulnerability of us all, living in a fallen world - the legacy of our first parents, Adam and Eve. And the need we have for Jesus and salvation and the power of the Holy Spirit in our daily lives. I will not throw the first stone in condemnation! I will encourage him toward wholeness.

Markers of grace filled organizations

A culture of grace is something that we aspire to in the ministry world. The question is what does a grace filled organization look like? Some of the answers may surprise you.

Grace filled organizations treat their people well starting with clearly defined job descriptions, expectations and regular and clear feed back. You ask, what does that have to do with grace? Everything! Without these elements, staff do not know what their boundaries are or where they are empowered which creates frustration, can get them into inadvertent trouble and is really a culture of uncertainty. A culture of uncertainty cannot be a culture of grace.

When there are performance issues, grace filled organizations take the time to have candid discussion with staff to determine how to solve the issue. In many ministries, in the name of grace, such conversations don't happen because we don't want to create conflict. However, ignoring performance issues is not grace but a great disservice to a staff member. 

Once the issues have been identified, the question is "how can we help this individual succeed?" Maybe it is coaching. Maybe they are in the wrong lane and it is restructuring their role. It could even result in a job and organization change to get them into a place that is compatible with who they are. Facing up to issues with staff and handling them honestly is a marker of grace. Avoidance is not!

When something goes wrong, grace filled organizations don't ignore it but conduct an autopsy without blame. They want to identify, what went wrong, why it did so, and what could prevent it from going south in the future. The focus is to understand but not to cast blame. Sure someone is responsible but simply blaming people does not solve future issues. If there are candid discussions to be had one needs to have them but the goal is redemptive not punitive. I find many staff, especially who are new to our organization surprised by this philosophy. They are not used to it but deeply appreciate it.

Grace filled organizations go out of their way to be of help when staff members face critical issues in their lives. Staff are not means to an end but deeply important for who they are and people made in God's image and members of the team. This can mean any number of things, even breaking normal protocol. People matter and our commitment to fellow staff shows when they face a crisis. Is it an irritation to us or an opportunity to be Jesus to them? How we respond makes all the difference.

Finally, grace filled organizations treat everyone with respect. There are no little people in an organization characterized by grace. Our interactions are not determined by where someone is in the organizational chart. It is the whole team, no one member of the team that makes ministry possible. The measure of my respect of people is not how I treat those above me or beside me but how I treat and interact with those who are below me in the organizational  chart. 

Are you a purveyor of hope or pessimism?

I meet many Christ followers who live with and communicate pessimism about life, current events and their own situations. I meet others who leave you encouraged, filled with hope and energized. Frankly I like to be around the second set a whole lot more than the first set. But it raises a question for me relative to our world view.

Think about the meaning of the gospel. It means good news. Think about the descriptions that Jesus uses regarding Him, that good news and our lives in the gospels. I take these words and phrases straight from the gospels: eternal life; life; he who comes to me will never be hungry or thirsty; living water; freedom; I am the way the truth and the life; you will bear much fruit; that your joy may be complete; peace I give to you; forgiveness; I am the bread of life; neither to I condemn you; I go to prepare a place for you.

If all that is true, how can we be purveyors of pessimism or live with it? Is it not a denial of all that God has done for us? It is like we are saying to God, "you didn't do enough," or "I don't appreciate what you have done for me." I wonder what God thinks when He hears His children, saved by His Son's blood, forgiven at great cost, given freedom and hope live with complaints and pessimism? Jesus and pessimism are frankly incompatible.

Our very salvation should move us from an attitude of pessimism to one of hope - no matter who we are or what our situation is. Changed hearts should lead to changed attitudes. From a life of complaint to a life of thanksgiving. 

What is the antidote to pessimism? Scripture is very clear: thanksgiving to God for all of His gifts. How often does Paul tell us to give thanks for all of His blessings? Reading a Psalm every day is also helpful. They overflow with the blessings of God - even in the midst of the deepest valleys (Psalm 23) which is why we turn to them in times of trouble. Memorize the promises of God. What gets put in our heads comes back to inform our thinking and attitudes.

This is all about a world view. While most of the world has reason to be pessimistic no Christ follower does. We are sons and daughters of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords whose hand upholds the universe, who is our king, redeemer, lord, savior, rock, rescuer, help in times of trouble and all the other descriptions we find in Scripture. With all that I want to live with hope and be a purveyor of hope to all those around me. And you?

Conditional love is toxic love

Many people I know grew up in homes characterized by conditional acceptance and love - based on their performance. Along with conditional love comes a shame based culture where all "failures" are met with overt or or subtle messages  of dissaproval from parents. 

Conditional love by parents is toxic love which causes all kinds of personal dysfunctions on into adulthood. It impacts one's view of themselves and one's view of God in deeply negative ways. Many struggles that last long into adulthood can be traced back to conditional love by parents.

Those who grew up with conditional love often believe they are never good enough: for themselves; for others and for God. This drives them to prove to all three that they are in fact good enough. How many men, for instance, are driven to prove to their fathers that they are worthy of their father's approval and love - sometimes long after their father has died! Driven people who have something to prove are often trying to prove something to parents who did not unconditionally love them. They also live with the daily private pain that they don't measure up. A legacy of a shame based rather than grace based upbringing.

That pain leads to lack of self acceptance, a drive to prove oneself, and living with a deep wound in the soul. It can lead to all kinds of unhealthy behaviors and addictions that come from the pain of never being "good enough." On the one hand we feel we need to prove ourselves. On the other hand we know we are not good enough. That double bind can lead alternatively to having impossibly high standards for oneself and unhealthy behaviors since we don't respect ourselves. It is a painful and confusing place to live.

Even more serious is the impact on one's relationship with God. How many people are still trying to earn God's favor by their service, obedience and energy, even after they are Christ followers? Yet the whole premise of grace is that we cannot and need not earn His favor. His forgiveness and grace was bought on the cross in His death and resurrection. It is freely given to people who don't deserve it. 

Not only that but there is nothing we can do to make God love us more and there is nothing we can do to make God love us less. His love is free and unconditional to all who choose Him. Not once in Jesus' ministry did he shame or show dissaproval to those who came to Him in faith. Rather he freely forgave, never shamed but accepted them and called them to a life of followership and obedience. 

Think about this: There are many churches that are performance based - rules, regulations, expectations about all kinds of issues that are just plain legalism. That conditional acceptance is toxic, antithetical to grace and creates wounded faith and graceless Christianity.

Those who grow up in homes where there is unconditional love find it much easier to understand the love of Jesus. After all, they did not need to live up to some standard for their parents to love them. Those who grew up with conditional love often see God as a God of conditional love who is performance rather than grace based. A sad legacy of conditional love in childhood.

If you are a parent, think carefully about the messages you are sending your children. If you grew up with toxic love, do what you need to do to get free so that you can accept yourself, live without the need to prove something to others or to God and to relax in the freedom of Grace.

Looking and praying for open ministry doors

Those of us who are engaged in ministry whether in the local church, missions or elsewhere are always looking for ways and opportunities to minister more effectively and reach more people with the Good News. We have our strategies and our plans - all good. But a huge part of that strategy out to be a specific prayer and an intentional practice.

The prayer is that God would open specific doors of opportunity. The practice is that we are always looking around us for the doors He is opening. We do not open doors to ministry opportunity. God does. Our job is to be praying that He would do so and aware when He does.

Paul recognized this in his ministry. In 1 Corinthians 16:9 he says that "a great door for effective work has opened to me." Later he writes "Now when I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me (2 Corinthians 2:12)." In Colossians 4:3 he says, "pray for us, too that God may open a door for our message" 

Paul recognized that it was God who opened ministry doors and he intentionally prayed that He would. And he constantly watched for the opportunities that God presented. 

One of the common lessons in mission work is that the door we think will be open is often not while an unexpected door we never thought about is. Unless we are watching and praying we can often miss the real opportunities where God is opening a door. 

All of this is a reminder that we join God in His work. It is not our work. 

Those who lead from the second chair

These are special people! Because they are not the senior leader, they don't get the public recognition that senior leaders get, yet their fingerprints are on everything the organization does and they are often more involved in the details and issues than the senior leader.

These are the executive pastors, and the group of leaders who work with Senior leaders. 

It takes a special kind of individual to lead from the second chair. Humility because they won't get the limelight. Servant spirit because they serve both the senior leader and those they supervise. Flexibility because they don't always have the last word. Intuitive ability because they need to exegete the thinking and mind of the senior leader regularly. Courage because they often need to deal with tough situations. Collegial spirit because they work in tandem. High capacity because they must get involved with a wide variety of issues. Patience because they are often dealing with busy and sometimes distracted senior leaders.

Large organizations cannot exist in health without those who lead from the second chair. In fact, if a senior leader looks good - guess why that is? I often get recognition (as a senior leader) for things in ReachGlobal. The truth is that it is those who lead from the second chair who should get the bulk of the credit, not me. In our case this includes 13 individuals.

If you are a senior leader, never forget that it is not about you! And always remember the second chair leaders who make so much possible. 

Issues that put a leaders job at high risk

Leaders live with a higher level of job risk than many others. Ironically, once they achieve a leadership role they often relax rather than pay the close attention they need to critical issues that contribute to the kind of healthy leadership that leads to longevity. I have watched leaders ignore these issues and be surprised when they lost their leadership role often in less than pleasant circumstances.

The risk increases with one's leadership tenure because the demands of a growing ministry become higher and the tendency to relax and lose focus also increase. If you lead, whether a team or division or organization, think about how you are doing in the following areas which are critical to leadership longevity.

Defining clarity. The first job of a leader is to provide maximum clarity to the organization or part of the organization they lead as to what they are about. The second job is to ensure that there is full alignment around that clarity and the third job is to ensure that there are results based on that clarity. When a leader fails to continue to provide significant clarity the organization or team starts to wander and staff become restless - a dangerous symptom for a leader.

Focusing on the missional agenda of the organization. While this may seem obvious it is easy over time to slip from leading to managing the status quo. Once we stop leading toward greater effectiveness we essentially plateau the organization or part of the organization we lead. The lack of forward progress and pro-active leadership becomes an irritant to other good staff who look to their leader to provide direction and lead boldly.

Leading a healthy team. Again, this may seem obvious but all too often, leaders start to neglect the health, unity and strength of their team. This may be because they are not working with their team to drive the missional agenda forward and the team starts to wonder what their real agenda is. It is also possible that leaders start to focus on their agenda rather than the team's agenda and the team starts to feel that they are not a priority to their leader anymore. When leaders start to lose the confidence of their team they are in a dangerous place.

Dealing with critical organizational issues. There are always issues that if ignored will hurt the organization or if pursued will help the organization. Many of them can be difficult: staff who don't belong anymore; structures that don't work well; paradigms that our outdated and need to change and other threats or opportunities. 

Often, leaders tackle such issues early in their tenure but tend to move toward comfort later in their tenure - leaving critical issues untended to. This is why new leaders often need to clean up messes or issues ignored by their predecessor. When we stop being aggressive about critical organizational issues we have moved from leadership to management of the status quo.  Good staff notice and become discouraged because they want to give their time and energy to something of significance.

Ensuring that the organization delivers on its mission. I am frankly amazed at how many leaders (and their boards) do not look realistically at what they are accomplishing relative to their stated mission. Because our bottom line is not financial like the business world it is easy to gloss over substandard results. Poor results are frankly the outcome of the previous issues not being properly addressed. Eventually this catches up to a leader as boards and/or staff start to ask hard questions.

Focus and vigilance are hallmarks of good leaders. Once we lose our edge it is hard to get it back. If we lose the confidence of our core team we can no longer lead well and we are in a risky place. Leaders can relax in who they are but they cannot relax in leading well and staying energized in that role. Like the proverbial frog in the kettle, it is easy to lose our edge and not even know it until we lose key staff, the confidence of our team or of our board and we find ourselves sidelined. 

Nine overlooked but unhealthy character issues in leaders

Leaders often get a pass on character issues that are not blatantly sin but are problematic nevertheless. This is especially true of leaders who can produce results and it is not uncommon for results to trump character in our evaluation of leaders. 

The problem is that these overlooked character issues do in fact matter. Allowing them to continue is dangerous for the leader as these traits generally grow rather than diminish if not checked. It is also dangerous for the organization and in fact puts the organization at risk both of a problematic culture and the possibility that their leader will get himself/herself into trouble because of these character issues.

Supervisors, colleagues and boards all should be aware of these problematic behaviors and find ways to press into them when they see them - for everyone's sake. No matter how good someone is, these behaviors are a loss for everyone!

Never being wrong. This may mean a lack of admission, blaming others when things go wrong, spiritualizing them away or not apologizing to those for whom wrong decisions had a negative impact. Not admitting errors or bad decisions is a sign either of an insecure or prideful leader. Often the two go together.

Spiritualizing everything. This behavior is problematic on two counts. First, people usually spiritualize when something goes wrong and they don't want to take personal responsibility. Second, it is the "God card." To push back on something that God is "responsible for"  is pretty hard. Lot's of things are not spiritual. They are what they are and they are the results of decisions we have made.

Manipulative behavior. If you feel manipulated in a relationship it is probably present. This can take many forms but its design is to use you for their purposes. Manipulative behavior is really about using others for outcomes we want and is thus a violation of the free will of other people. It is wrong, violates other people and a sign of a personality disorder in the one who uses it.

Exaggeration. This is usually about ministry results or it may also be about ministry possibilities or plans. Exaggeration is dishonesty whether through overly optimistic thinking or wanting to paint a picture so good that it violates truth. It is salesmanship over the top rather than truthful and factual and it goes to the heart of what it means to speak truth and to avoid untruths.

Information withholding. This is actually a form of control and manipulation. As a leader, if I withhold information that could and should be known by others I have power that they don't have. It is very effective and very unhealthy. Some leaders will share information that makes them or their cause look good but carefully withhold information that would do the opposite. It is a dishonest, manipulative and self serving behavior.

Unwillingness to listen. This behavior conveys an arrogance that I have the answers, I know the direction, I don't need you and you have little to contribute to my thinking. Eventually this behavior and attitude will contribute to problems if not a train wreck. Those who will not listen carefully to others are displaying a dangerous autonomy.

Anger if crossed. This is both a sign of self importance and entitlement - how dare you disagree with me - and well as manipulative - this is what happens when you cross me. Autonomous people don't like to be challenged and autonomous people are dangerous in leadership. Anger shuts down alternative views and robust dialogue.

For or against mentality. This behavior rewards those who agree with and push the agenda of the leader and punishes those who disagree or speak candidly. Those who agree are insiders while those who disagree find themselves outsiders. Like, anger, this behavior shuts down alternate views and robust and healthy dialogue. 

It is not uncommon for those with this behavior to reward their inner circle with gifts, compliments and praise while being critical and cool toward the outsiders. Again, this is manipulative behavior designed to allow the leader to get his/her way and accomplish their agenda. They have the skill of making insiders feel very good and outsiders very bad - even abandoned.

Self importance. All of this is about an inflated self importance and the assumption that "I am the one who can make this ministry flourish." Without me it will fail or be much less than it is with me. Self importance must elevate self and to do that it must also devalue others and their contribution. When it becomes about the leader, healthy team is impossible.

These behaviors are antithetical to the leadership style and teaching of Jesus. They are also destructive to team and devaluing of others. When we choose to overlook them we end up hurting the ministry we represent and the staff who are impacted. 

Grace Magnets

Want to be a magnet of grace like Jesus? Consider these attitudes!

• Yes I will forgive you
• I am so sorry for what you are walking through. How can I help?
• I accept you for who you are including your brokenness.
• I want the best for you.
• I will tell you the truth but always with grace - like Jesus.
• There is no sin that is not redeemable. Will you let me walk you toward Jesus and wholeness?
• You can tell me anything about yourself and I will still love you and accept you.
• You are important. There are no little people with God. Others may not feel you are important but I do.
• I will not judge you for choices you make even though they are not the choices I might make. 
• I will not play the Holy Spirit in your life but will point you to Jesus and Scripture.
• If I need to confront you I will do it with humility and grace knowing how broken I am.
• I will be transparent with you about my own life and struggles.
• I will choose to love you even if you betray me.
• I want you to see Jesus in me.
• I will be there for you in times of difficulty and trouble.
• If you are one of the "least of these," I will treat you like one of the "greatest of these."

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14)."

Grace busters

While there is a great deal of talk about grace in the church there is often a remarkable lack of it among Christians. Amazing grace does describe the posture of Jesus toward us. It often does not describe the posture of believers toward one another. 

Think about these grace busters:

• Gossip
• unforgiveness
• Conditional acceptance
• Exclusion of certain people
• Lack of empathy
• Critical spirits
• Legalism
• Harsh words
• Judging motives
• Impatience with spiritual progress in others
• Spiritual masks that hide inner brokenness
• Judgmentalism
• Lack of acceptance

Grace is one of the most powerful magnets of people to Jesus and thus to Him through us. When it is present it is truly amazing grace. When it is absent it is a spiritual repellent. Let's be people who reflect he amazing grace of Jesus - who saved a wretch like us.

The upside of crisis situations

I don't relish dealing with crises. As an organizational leader, however, I must do so from time to time and as a ministry consultant it is not unusual to be asked to help ministries in crisis. One of the things I have learned in the process is that while all crises must be managed and many are painful, if handled well there are also positive opportunities. My advice to other leaders is never to miss the opportunities inherent in crisis. Let me explain.

When I think of crises I am thinking of a broad variety of issues with significantly impact an organization. It can be financial, the death of a key leader, the failure of a leader, a bad choice by a leader that impacts staff or partners or constituency, mass resignations over morale issues, major discontent on staff or other situations that force leaders to go into damage control to deal with a significant crisis. All of us in leadership can point to crises we have had to deal with: the list can be long.

But think about this:

Crisis situations can be a great clarifier. More than once in my long tenure with the EFCA we have faced major financial crises. Some because we overspent and had not controled budgets, other times because of the economy. Every time, however, we have been forced to ask the question, what is really important to us? What is central and core to our mission? What are we doing that is ancillary and needs to be set aside in order to focus on the core. These are not easy situations because they impact wonderful people but they are necessary conversations for ministries to have on a periodic basis.

Crisis situations can build greater trust between leaders and staff and constituencies. 
When crisis happens, the one thing staff and others often do not expect is that their leaders will be open, transparent and honest with them. There is so much spin in our world that we are not used to being trusted with the truth. Leaders who choose to tell the truth about the situation gain great trust from staff. Candid answers go a long ways in building greater trust.

Crisis situations allow you to refocus and change paradigms.
Change is often difficult when there is a perception that all is going well. In a crisis, everyone knows that this is not the case and it is often possible to make changes and to refocus with the crisis as the presenting reason. 

Crisis often flushes out other issues that need to be addressed.
Take for example, a financial crisis. The presenting issue is that there is a shortage of funds. But there may be other issues involved that you can and must now look at including: Are we focused on the right things; are there areas we could be consolidating for savings; do we have a clearly defined mission that causes our constituency to support us well; do we have staff who are under performing? Thus the presenting issue simply brings to the surface other issues that need addressing.

Crisis tests the mettle of leaders in a good way.
The test of leadership is not what happens when all is well but when it seemingly comes apart. Do they fact he issues squarely and honestly? Do they tell the truth or spin? Do they take corrective actions with courage? Do they convey hope or despair? Everyone reads their leadership carefully in crisis and watches their reactions and actions with equal care. 

Crisis builds faith and can unify.
If handled well, crisis can be a faith builder and unifier as leadership pulls the organization together to pray and to work with them to resolve hard issues. Here is a principle: healthy organizations unite in crisis while unhealthy organizations come apart. The difference is in the culture that exists and the kind of leadership the organization has. Our staff and constituency are our best help in crisis situations in a healthy organization. If disunity occurs, it is simply an indication that there are deeper underlying health issues that need to be addressed.

Never waste a crisis!