What do I really want to know?

Ask yourself this simple question: What do I really want to know about my personal or leadership strengths and weaknesses? Many of us love to hear about our strengths but not our weaknesses. Yet our weaknesses impact our leadership as much as our strengths and sometimes they actually neutralize our strengths when they negatively impact relationships. On top of this, it is estimated that we overestimate our leadership abilities by about 30% and underestimate our weaknesses by 30% and that is for a healthy leader.


I wrote recently that we have an endless ability to deceive ourselves when that deception allows us to feel better about ourselves. The irony is that those we lead also help us in that deception in that they will rarely tell us what we don't want to know. In other words, they know how candid we want them to be (or not), how open we are to feedback (or not) and what issues they can press into and what issues they must leave unspoken. So the very people who know us the best conspire with us to allow us to blissfully go about our business thinking we are doing well when in fact, everyone but us knows there are issues that if addressed would make us better people and better leaders. Like the emperor with no clothes we are the only ones who don't know the truth!


Truth is an interesting concept, especially when it is about us! We are experts in manipulating truth to fit our version of what we want to think and hear and to minimize what we don't want to think or hear. This is perhaps why introspection is avoided and why we find it so hard to acknowledge our shadow side. Yet, truth is the foundation of personal freedom because the better we know ourselves, good and bad, the healthier we are personally and the healthier our leadership. Truth avoidance eventually catches up with us and can damage both ourselves and those around us.


The greatest barrier to knowing and hearing truth about ourselves is our defensiveness. The greater our defensive mechanisms the less we will understand ourselves as those mechanisms not only keep us from hearing others but from acknowledging our own stuff to ourselves. I have known unapproachable leaders who have no idea how damaging their defensive mechanisms are to their leadership. Defensiveness by definition prevents us from hearing, from receiving feedback or even from acknowledging our own inner knowledge about ourselves. It allows us to deceive ourselves. We essentially lie to ourselves!


There are things about me that I don't like. My lower nature can be very low. I don't like my shadow side. I wish I had only strengths and not weaknesses. With every passing year I am more aware of what I am not in many areas of life. That very awareness, however, is the key to growth which only comes with truth. Truth is the pain or discomfort we experience on the way to a healthier us and to healthier leadership. 


So here is the question. Do we want to conspire with others to deceive ourselves or conspire with others to become a better me and a better leader? Our invitation to others to be candid with us and our commitment to tell truth to ourselves is the key. Learning to lower our defenses and value the discomfort of truth allows others to speak into our lives and us to value introspection. 

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven?

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven? Certainly the angelic hosts knew what was up as they would play a part in the story. Were they in awe (or perhaps disbelief) that the creator was now to become a creature? The one who created creation was now to become a part of that creation?


And what about the Trinity? For all of infinite time they had been one in three and now that unity would be disrupted in a way it had never been before. Soon Jesus would be talking to the Father through prayer rather than the living with Him as One. How did they process the new reality that was about to come?


And Jesus! What did He think about taking on the flesh of those who He had created, going from Spirit to human form not only for thirty three years but forever - identifying for eternity future with those He had created? Moving from the splendor of heaven to the squalor of Bethlehem. How did He process the fact that His life would end in death with the Father's face turned away? 


And the Holy Spirit! Knowing that after the resurrection of Christ, He would from that time on take up residence in every one who called themselves a Christ follower. Infecting every community, workplace, home and situation where those Christ followers lived, worked and travelled with the righteousness of God and heaven.


What words passed between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit regarding the imminent defeat of the evil one who had thrown a perfect creation into disarray and brought so much pain, suffering and heartache into a world hijacked from perfect goodness to grinding evil? What kind of pain had the Godhead suffered watching the insanity of a world gone wrong? Knowing what was intended and how humanity had become inhumane.


As the time of the incarnation drew nearer, did heaven become quiet? Were the angelic hosts peering over the balcony of heaven watching in disbelief for what was going to happen? They certainly could not imagine doing what Jesus was about to do. Were they watching Joseph and Mary who would become mom and dad to God?


One thing is sure. The incarnation changed our planet forever and the eternal destinies of all who embrace Jesus. But it had to have shaken the heavens as well. 

My love hate relationship with the Christmas season

I admit to having a love hate relationship with the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas. It evokes in me memories that go back as far as my mind can remember, all pleasant. And the gift, miracle, and incomprehensible nature of the incarnation is so amazing that just thinking about it in all its dimensions puts an overload on the neurons in the brain. It is truly a wonderful time of the year. And then there is family time: I look forward to having my new grandson in my home for a few days, his parents and my younger son and girlfriend. The tiny house will ring with laughter and rich conversation.

Nor am I a scrooge about giving gifts although in recent years Mary Ann and I have no longer given gifts to one another but simply enjoyed the season. What do we really need at this stage of life? But I do enjoy giving gifts to friends and family. Generally however, you will not find me anywhere near a mall at this time of the year because  my tolerance for crowds is limited and the meaning of Christmas has so little to do with the commercial holiday it has come to be where retailers bet their whole year on making money in the period between Thanksgiving midnight and December 31st (ah the post Christmas mark downs).

This is where the love/hate thing kicks in. I love Christmas, as I love Easter morning. But I keep thinking of Jesus' words that a mans happiness does not exist in the abundance of his possessions and it seems to me that in large part that is what Christmas has become: more possessions, more debt, moving merchandise. 

It all seems so incongruent with the God of he universe coming as a peasant baby to rescue a world in darkness and sin. He did not come bearing gifts but the gift of himself, undeserved, unexpected ( by most) and the whole scenario incomprehensible to many. When God gave His greatest gift to us, he gave Himself; His Son. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give in this Christmas season is ourselves to others who are in need. God made it personal, we can make it personal. God did not send a card, He sent a Son. His gift didn't help the economy of Bethlehem as he was delivered in a stable. 

We get upset when Christ is taken out of Christmas (Xmas). But perhaps this advent season we ought to think more deeply than that   at the amazing gift that was given by an amazing God and make that our focus rather than the commercial holiday it has come to be. Rather it is the event that changed everything for all time from that moment until eternity future.

For to us a child is born

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne

and over his kingdom

establishing and upholding it

with justice and righteousness

from that time on and forever.

The zeal of the Lord Almighty

will accomplish this.

(Isaiah 9:6-7)

Don't leave home without it!

No, it is not a credit card! It is a set of personal values that we have thought deeply about and are committed to and which inform all that we do - everyday. 


Either we determine a set of non-negotiables or guiding principles for our lives or we allow the prevailing values of our world to set them for us. Those values are the messages that we hear constantly from the media and from our fellow pilgrims, some good and some deeply flawed. The best values come from a deep understanding of God and His call on our lives. Defining them for ourselves gives us an internal compass that lived out daily keeps us focused, molds our character and commitments and influences those around us. They set the tone for our lives.


Recently one of my fellow ministry leaders shared his personal and leadership values with me that reflect the kind of thinking all of us should do. These are so ingrained in his life and thinking that they are the grid through which he does life and leadership. They are his true north!

Four Key Personal Values

I value total devotion to God; my chief aim is "to love God and enjoy Him forever."

(Phil. 1:21: Paul)

I value the truth; facing the truth about myself and, by God's grace, intercepting potential fatal flaws that might destroy my integrity.

(Psalm 51: David)

I value right priorities; being a godly husband, father, and friend.

(Proverbs 5:18-22, 18:22)

I value learning; maintaining a learning posture in all of life.

(Exodus 33:13: Moses)

Six Key Leadership Values

I value humility; being led by God before attempting to lead others.

(John 21:15-19: Peter)

I value mentoring; having men and women in my life to help shape my vision, values, and lifestyle as a leader. (Acts 9:27-28, 11:25-26: Barnabas)

I value leadership selection; that leaders are both born and made.

(I Ti 1:18-19, 4:7-8, 11-12, II Ti 2:2-3, 3:14-15: Timothy)

I value leadership development; the development of emerging leaders having great importance in my life and in the extension of the Kingdom.

(Exodus 17:9-14, Numbers 13, Deut. 1:38, 31:1-18: Joshua)

I value authenticity; pursuing honest and transparent relationships with the people I lead and who lead me.

(I Samuel 18:1-4, 20:1-42, 23:16-18: Jonathan)

I value perseverance; pressing on to finish well as a leader.

(Hebrews 12:2, II Ti 4:1-8: Paul)

"Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it.  Because he never lost sight of where he was headed - that exhilarating finish in and with God - he could put up with anything along the way:  cross, shame, whatever."

(Hebrews 12:2, The Message)

The more deeply we think about who God has called us to be and what is important to us the closer we will get to that goal. Leaders will also find that those they lead will take their cues about what matters from them. Thus their commitments, well defined and well lived out influence not only their lives but the lives of those they lead. All of us influence others but first we need to clarify our own values! As you think about the new year coming up, consider clarifying your values or guiding principles if you have not done so.

Unfriend it and End it: Progressive Relationships

Guest Writer
Michael Johnson

After almost 35 years of marriage, I am amazed that my wife has not unfriended me yet.   I have given her plenty of reason to do so.  She could just unfriend it and end it.

The electronic age has radically changed the ease of ignoring others, including an ever increasing rapidity of meltdown in relationships.  We are now able to completely dissolve relationships without even meeting people face to face.   We just delete them from our computer screens, our minds, and hearts.  That is efficiency!  That is progress.

I thank God that He does not work that way.  After 59 years of life, I have given Him plenty of reasons to unfriend it and end it.  But He does not work that way.  There is no body on God’s ‘I am not speaking to you’ list.  In fact, God just keeps on talking to me, even when I completely ignore Him.  

One way He makes sure to do this is He keeps waking me up in the morning, showering me with health and all of the necessities of life, including many of the gravy items.  This is where the wife comes in.  God has chosen to take up residence in my wife and use her to show His love for me in the many ways she forgives and forgets.  She refuses to unfriend and end.  So does God. 

Even though they both have good reason to unfriend me, they  refuse to do so, I  have given them even better ammunition moment by moment from the past to the present and even future.  But they don’t.   God does call me friend, and He refuses to end it.

John 15:15

Henceforth I CALL YOU not servants; for the servant knows not what his lord does: but I have called YOU friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Fear and Faith

Fear and faith are two sides of the same coin, the first driven by Satan and the second driven by the Holy Spirit. Our world is driven by fear: fear that we will not have enough, of illness, of losing our job, of people who intimidate us and the list could go on and on. Each of us has our vulnerabilities where we carry our own personal fears. Fear can keep us from stepping into all that God made us to be, can keep us from pressing into areas of our lives that need attention, and can cause us to to lie and bend the truth. Fear is the currency of our world and is the driving force behind much advertising (consider the ads for gold and silver).


In a twist of irony, much of our drive for more and more is driven by our fears that we will not have enough. However, the more we have the more we have to worry about losing. I am always sad when those who have plenty cannot let go of it out of fear that they won't have enough. They often live with more fear than those who have little.


In a radically different sense, faith is the currency of God's kingdom. Faith in God's ability to redeem, to provide, to deal with the fears we have and to provide for us our basic needs. The writer of Hebrews says that "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that the exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6)." All of the heroes of Hebrews 11 did what they did by faith. Faith that they could trust God, faith that they could follow God and faith in the sovereignty of God.


Think of a typical week. How many times during a week do we make unconscious choices between fear and worry (another word for fear) and faith? Our lives are full of those choices. In fact, think about this: Every worry or fear is a potential faith builder if we choose to simply pray and trust God in that situation. When we get to heaven we are going to be astonished when we think back about our petty worries in the face of the almighty God whose power is unlimited, love unrivaled and storehouse of provision so massive. 


Because faith is the currency of God's kingdom, our faith brings God's favor. Hebrews 11:6 above says that "he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...who by worrying can add a single hour to his life...So do not worry saying, what shall we eat? or what shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:25-34)."


The command "fear not," is the most often repeated command in Scripture. Faith is the currency of the kingdom. The almighty, sovereign God who owns the entire universe says to us, "Trust Me." I know your needs. "Trust Me." Try that with your current worries and remember that every fear and worry is an opportunity to grow your faith and trust. It is that faith and trust that gives us the peace of mind that God promises. It is a direct result of living in  faith rather than in fear. We make the choice. God calls us to faith.

Convincing the unconvincible

Frequently when working with church boards or wider ministry leadership groups there will be one gentleman sitting in the back of the room with his arms crossed, a hostile glare and no matter how much laughter there is in the room, never cracking a smile. He is saying loudly and non verbally, "You cannot convince me to change my mind." He is usually correct and I don't try.

What he illustrates is that there are people in every church or organization who will never be convinced to go where you desire to go. And, since leadership requires us to initiate change to respond to the environment and opportunities around us, you will always have people who don't want to respond if it means change. In fact, there is no conversation with them: their mind has been made up and that is that!

We have various names for people like this. On the change scale, they are called laggards. The scale moves from innovators who initiate change to early adapters who respond to change quickly to middle adapters who take some time to process the change to late adapters who take even longer and finally laggards who are change adverse. Another name for laggards is "squeaky wheels" because not only are they change adverse but they can be loud and obnoxious about it (ever met one in a congregational meeting?).

This is not a judge of character, a mistake we often make. People are wired to respond to change differently and that in itself is neither right or wrong although attitudes like the one noted above are not always very gracious or helpful.

What do you do with the unconvincible? Love them but don't try to convince them.  Rather you appeal to the people who will respond to change if given a valid reason and a value that is higher then their resistance to change. The unconvincible are unconvincible. It is the convincible who are your audience. Appeal to them and they will go with you if you make a reasonable case for the proposed change. 

In any change process, remember that the loud voices do not necessarily reflect the majority of the group. Often they represent a small minority of laggards but their voices can be intimidating. Don't be intimidated. Run a good process of dialogue and communication and if you will likely gain the majority of folks. In the process don't marginalize the laggards but recognize that their resistance to change usually comes from how they are wired, not bad character. In fact, if you love them, they will often be your most loyal supporters even when resistant to change. Listen to them, love them and stay connected to them relationally and they will usually love you back.

Our unlimited capacity for self-deception

Humans have an unlimited capacity to deceive themselves about themselves and others. Often that self deception is our personal spin control not only to make ourselves look better to others but even to ourselves. It can be conscious or unconscious.


Robert Trivers writes this in his new book, The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human life. "We deny the truth to ourselves. We project onto others traits that are in fact true of ourselves - and then attack them. We repress painful memories, create completely false ones, rationalize immoral behavior, act repeatedly to boost positive self-opinion, and show a suite of ego-defensive mechanisms (p. 2)."


In other words, we have an amazing capacity to subvert truth to fit our preferred version of reality. It is directly tied to the sinful human condition and reflective of the truth Paul made in Romans 3:10ff where he says "There is no one righteous, not even one;" and goes on to describe the fallen human condition.


Consider instances where you are trying to get to the bottom of a conflict. Explanations of individuals on both sides make logical sense at first blush. Both sides blame the other and exonerate themselves. Of course, both cannot be true and upon further examination it becomes clear that both parties have constructed a view of reality - and of the other party - that makes them look innocent and the other look guilty. Clearly there is spin, reconstruction of reality and self deception going on. All of us are capable and all of us deceive ourselves in some areas of our lives.


We have all met people who were self deceived and particularly in conflict situations I have a healthy skepticism of what I hear until I have heard all sides. It is easy to listen to one party whose explanation makes all the sense in the world and come to conclusions that are erroneous because of their ability to spin their version of truth. In conflict situations, always keep an open mind until you have heard from all sides. 


There are also people who literally live in an "alternative universe" and have such a skewed version of reality that they are disconnected from seeing how their own actions, attitudes and conclusions hurt other people. They may divide people into camps, those who are for them and those who are against them and fully believe that they are right in spite of any rational attempts to convince or show them otherwise. 


This is pathological in nature but it is also an extreme version of self deception. Attempts to help them see an alternative reality are often fruitless because their personal defense mechanisms of self-deception are so strong. Often it is hiding deep insecurities and the self-deception is a way of coping with and covering those insecurities or unresolved issues. Unfortunately, that self-deception is projected onto others who are often hurt in the equation.


The most important questions we can ask, however, is about where we deceive ourselves. Where do we construct personal rationalisms for behaviors, habits or sin in order to allow us to continue those unhealthy practices and still feel good about ourselves? Where do we stretch the truth, accomplishments, or righteousness in order to try to look better to other people? 


Why is this important? First, because truth matters and the more truth we understand about ourselves the healthier we are. Second, because self-deception unchecked leads to a life of untruth or lies which can become second nature if we allow it. Third, because our own self-deception is harmful to us and often harmful to others. 


God is a God of truth and we are easily deceived. It is why David prayed, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24). It is God who helps us understand the inclinations and deceptions of our own hearts as we develop the discipline of introspection and evaluation on our part. 

The otherness of God

God is our Father, abba. He is our friend. He is the One who is with us at all times (Emmanuel). He is our comforter, our counselor, and provider. He is personal as we learned in Jesus, approachable, and our help in times of trouble. Nothing can separate us from His presence and love. No situation is beyond His ability to intervene.

God's character is amazingly complex and beyond our ability to even start to comprehend. And one of the most challenging aspects of who He is is His holiness, His absolute otherness, His incomprehensible righteousness and goodness. So holy and righteous that Moses could not gaze on His face and after Moses spent time with God, his face glowed! 

We rightly focus on the personal nature of our relationship with God as He made Himself approachable and understandable in Jesus. But we would do well to reflect regularly on His Holiness, greatness and otherness because it puts in perspective our own desperate need for Him and the greatness of our God compared to us.


The book of Job is instructive. Job and his friends wax eloquent on God, his character and purposes - some of it true, some of it badly flawed - sure that they understood Him and could speak on His behalf. But all of that "wisdom" is put into its proper perspective when God chooses to speak. His first words put in perspective the difference between God and man: "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words of knowledge?" (Job 38:1-2) and proceeds to ask a series of questions that leave Job mute until the Lord is finished. All Job can say in return is "I know that you can do all things; no plans of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things to wonderful for me to know' (Job 42:2-3)." 


What Job is humbly and abjectly acknowledging is that he knows so little compared to God. Our understanding and wisdom is so massively finite while His is so majestically infinite! As someone has rightly said, "There is a God and He is not us!"


The chapter I often visit to remind me of God's greatness is Isaiah 40. "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal? says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing (Isaiah 40:25-26)."


Why does the greatness of God matter? The better I understand His greatness and holiness the more profound my humble worship. The more I understand His sovereignty over the affairs of history the more I can trust Him in my journey. The greater my understanding of Him, the more I understand the smallness of me. The greater I understand the smallness of me, the more I understand my need for Him. The more I comprehend his holiness the more I understand my sinfulness and the amazing grace He has given me. 


Understanding God's greatness changes everything! And that is when the fact that He has made us family becomes so amazingly profound. 

Missions and child protection

The Pen State scandal and the recent issues faced by New Tribes Mission remind us of the critical importance of ensuring that ministries do everything they can to protect the minor children under their care. Many churches in the United States have a way of vetting  those who work with children but mission organizations may not always be aware of their liability with short term teams coming out, or with their own staff.


For example, orphanages or kids ministries in the majority world can be targets of opportunity for pedophiles as they know that there may be less scrutiny than in the west. In addition, in any given year, tens of thousands of kids and adults from churches in the US go abroad to work with children internationally. The question is whether mission agencies take appropriate measures with those who will have contact with children on those trips.


Suggestions:
One, require a background check such as a local church would do for those who will be working overseas with minors - either missionary kids or local children.


Two, before the event, train the adults and children involved in the procedures you have in place to prevent any abuse or opportunities for abuse. Most local churches have such procedures in place that you can borrow from. A best practice would be a mission wide procedure for training those working with minors.


Three, have a zero tolerance policy for mission staff or those working as volunteers. If an incident occurs, report it immediately to both the immediate supervisor and a senior leader. The reason you report it to both a senior leader and the immediate supervisor is to ensure that it is not covered up. If it involves a short term team member, that member should immediately be flown home. If an allegation is made against someone on staff, they must immediately be removed from all contact with minors and if proven they should be removed from the mission. Pedophiles are highly likely to re-offend and no ministry can take that chance. In addition, ensure that the intake process for full time missionaries includes testing for personality disorders and pathology. Tests like the MMPI can save you a lot of pain by keeping the wrong people from going to the field in the first place.


Four, never cover up an offence of pedophilia. The greatest tragedy of the New Tribes episode is that they chose to protect offenders, even leaving them in place or transferring them to other schools. Even those they called home were not held accountable. This allowed, like it appears at Penn State, for the abuse to continue. Protecting the abuser virtually guarantees further victims.


Five, take responsibility for helping a victim get help. The victim is not the individual who offended but the individual they violated. It is amazing to me that in both ministry and places like Penn State there was a greater protection of the violator than the victim. This is a huge violation of trust - as New Tribes discovered and Penn State will discover. Hold the accuser responsible, don't cover up and do all you can to get the victim help.


Minor children must be protected in every way we can from those who would abuse them and cause them a lifetime of emotional trauma. Does your mission have safeguards in place?

Who is rich?

There is a lot of discussion among politicians about the rich today. Of course no one seems to know how to define who is rich and who is not. Usually those who have more than us are rich and we are not. And there is always someone who has more. As I suggested in yesterday's blog, in a consumer society we start to believe the messages we are constantly bombarded with that wealth is the secret to satisfaction and happiness. I actually agree that wealth is a secret to happiness - it is all in the definition of wealth. 


As an aside, 91% of our world lives on $10,000 a year or less and 54% of our world lives on $3.00 a day or less. So that puts wealth in perspective for most of us. By that definition I am wealthy - and so are most of my readers.


Financial wealth is nice but it won't bring happiness. Dollars are not the true definition of wealth. If it were true, only wealthy individuals would be happy and the more they have the happier they would be. We all know that is not the case. For many there is an inverse correlation between financial wealth and happiness precisely because the expectations that financial wealth can deliver satisfaction is an empty promise.


Want to get truly wealthy? I do! The Apostle Paul actually tells us how. He tells us "to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to generous and willing to share (1 Timothy 6:18)." In other words, give yourselves away, give your time and energy away and generously share what He has given us with others.


The result? "In this way (we) lay up treasure for (ourselves) as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that (we) may take hold of the life that is truly life (1 Timothy 6:19)." Here is the irony, in giving ourselves away and in being generous we not only put deposits into our future life in heaven but we "take hold of life that is truly life" in this life. 


Both Solomon and Paul tell us that God "richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17)." But enjoying what God has given does not take place when we hold on to it but when we are generous with it. And generosity can happen if we make $10,000 a year or ten million a year. It is not how much we have but it is what we do with what we have.


In politics today it is popular to tell the millionaires and billionaires that they should be more generous. In the Kingdom, God asks all of us to be generous. And ironically, the more generous we are the more we actually enjoy the provision God gives us. Good deeds, generosity and a willingness to share is life giving to us, while holding on to it is life taking and draining. It also stores us treasures in heaven where we will spend eternity rather than 80 plus years. Which bank account makes more sense?

A singular question

We live in an economic system that thrives by convincing us that we do not have enough, need better, need more, need new. With Thanksgiving upcoming we enter into the most intense (insane?) season where all the forces are designed to convince us that the glitter of those gifts will make us happier, more fulfilled and somehow more productive and effective (aah, my technology).


Here is the question! Am I content with what God has given to me today? Are you content with what God has given you today? Or, do we believe that his provision today is inadequate? In which case, we are suggesting that God does not give us our "daily bread."


Contrast our inner struggles (most of us have them) about whether we have enough with Paul's attitude. "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13)."


What was Paul's secret? Why could he be content in whatever situation he found himself in? Is it possible for you and I in a day when more and better screams at us everywhere we go. Where someone else always has more than us?


I think the secret is found earlier in this passage where Paul says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)."


Paul's secret is not that he has all he may want. His secret is that he can present his requests to God who can and will meet his needs. And in sharing those needs with God, he could live with a peace that transcends anything our world could ever understand about contentedness and satisfaction because it is divinely given. Paul had needs as we have needs. He probably had desires as we have desires. But his attitude of thanksgiving for what God had given and the ability to share his needs with God gave him a peace that transcends all understanding. Thus his contentedness - in whatever circumstance he found himself.


There is no better time to grow our thanksgiving and peace and contentedness than in the Christmas season. Are you and I content today? It is a great gift to live with divine contentedness.

Living well and dying well

This morning I received news that a good friend of mine and a ministry leader in Chicago had passed into the arms of Jesus on Saturday night. His had been a hard battle with colon cancer over the past several years and he died in the loving arms of his wife, his hand being held by his daughter. 


Glen lived well! He had given his life to the urban poor and racial reconciliation for decades, being on the forefront of that hard work before the church in the United States was engaged. He and his family walked the walk as they lived in the neighborhood in which they worked. As a white leader, he teamed with an African American leader to forge a new way of thinking about what it meant for whites and blacks to work and worship together for Jesus in the days after the race riots in Chicago, a ministry that continues to this day. In every way, Glen lived well.


It was not an easy walk, including the death of his adopted son in recent years and numerous challenges that come when one is pressing into Satan's territory. Through it all, Glen displayed a kind demeanor, a deep sense of calling and a tenacity that touched all around him. Glen had a theology of life and ministry which He lived out so very well. Glen never became angry with God even when treatments made life incredibly difficult and his energies depleted. He continued to do what he could and spent time with family and friends even welcoming them when he was at home in hospice.


But Glen also had an understanding of death. He fought his diagnosis with all that he had for the sake of his family and ministry but determined that if this was his time that he would die well - and he did. He understood that life is not all there is, and that in fact, the best was yet to come and once he went on hospice he turned his eyes toward his next chapter and died in peace and dignity. 


I spoke to a group of Parish Nurses on Saturday who often minister to those who are dying and they reflected on the difference between the deaths of believers as against non-believers. How peaceful and even holy the moment is when believers take the step into eternal life compared to non-believers. 


Having been on the brink of death on several occasions I know a bit of the inner struggle - but I am determined to live well and to also die well. We live by faith and we die by faith. We neither overestimate the value of this life or underestimate the value of life with Jesus. For those of us in the second half it is something to think about. I look at many who have gone before me and am determined that I too want to die well when the time comes, full of gratitude for the life God has given, full of faith in a loving Father and full of anticipation of finally looking into the eyes of the one who made my life what it was - Jesus.


Let's leave a faithful legacy in life, and in how we face death, as all of us do and where the ultimate test of our faith is tested.

Driven leaders and their staff

One of the chief distinguishing marks of Jesus was his care, love, concern and compassion for people. His ministry was all about people. He always made time for the hurting and troubled and disenfranchised. He came to this planet to seek and to save....people.


It is possible for leaders to become so driven by their mission that they miss the people part! In fact, some leaders are users of people to accomplish their own ends and drive their mission forward at the expense of those who work for them. I know of a well known church, for example that sees massive turnover of its large staff regularly because of the lack of compassion and drivenness of the leader that negatively impacts the very people that support the ministry. His driven nature and success at all costs mentality leaves no room for anyone who does not live up to his standards.


The problem is that it is about the standards and vision and direction of the leader alone rather than a team that works together to accomplish the mission. Leaders who abuse in their drivenness have not developed a team mentality. They are the sheriff rather than the coach.


Driven leaders often hurt people because their focus is so much on success (whatever their definition) that they see those working for them as a means to that success rather than fellow colleagues on a journey of ministry together toward a common goal. It is really about their goal not a common goal. Any time we begin to use people toward our ends we have violated them and have moved away from the example of Christ. 


Leaders must always lead and part of that leadership is encouraging their staff to be all that they can be and to maximize the gifting God has given them. Ironically, when leaders put people before mission, the mission is more effectively accomplished because staff are empowered, released and motivated. When the mission comes before the people who must accomplish it, people are often violated in the process.


Healthy leaders put people first. They create healthy teams of empowered individuals who together figure out how to tackle the mission and accomplish the goals of the ministry. It is about us, not me!

Job One of a Leader

Many ministry leaders miss the single most important factor for success (apart of course from the Holy Spirit). That one factor is the key to charting the right course, staying on that course and seeing everyone go in the same direction. Very simply it is clarity of who you are, where you are going and how you will get there.


The lack of clarity is one of the key reasons that otherwise good ministries stall out, plateau, suffer from multiple silos and disconnected programs and eventually move into decline. It happens to churches and ministries frequently.


My conviction is that the first job of any leader is to provide maximum clarity to those they lead about who they are, where they are going and how they will get there. The second job is to ensure that there is alignment around that clarity and the third job is to ensure that there are results that reflect that clarity. Specifically, there must be clarity on mission (why do we exist?), guiding principles (what are our non-negotiables?), central ministry focus (what do we need to be doing all the time?), and culture (what do we want to leave behind?). 


That sounds easy but it is actually takes significant work to define these correctly. Define them right and you will get traction. Define them wrong and you may be chasing after the wrong things. Don't define them at all and you are just hoping that you get to where you want to go which you probably will since the destination is undefined! 


Think about this. Without clarity:
-People will go in whatever direction they think they should go.
-You cannot hold people accountable for specific and objective results.
-There is no ministry wide alignment or focus because there is no clear definition.
-People will fill in their own definition of their own clarity leading to multiple visions, directions and silos. You will never have people on the same page!
-There is no unifying vision or common mission.
-You will not attract or retain the best people because they will not be content to give their energies to an undefined goal.
-You never know whether or when you have achieved success.
-Followers become disillusioned because they sense the fogginess of purpose which eventually leads to conflict.
-Someone other than the leader will step into the gap with their clarity and eventually undermine the leadership of the leader (who is not leading).
-You end up with an accidental culture rather than an intentional ministry culture.


Put in that light, the clarity issue clearly becomes critical.


What keeps leaders from getting to clarity for their team, church or organization? For some it is conflict avoidance as defining clarity is inevitably going to create robust dialogue and conflict as to what the clarity should be. For some it is a matter of focus. They are too focused on other things that they miss the main thing. For some it may be a lack of understanding how to get to clarity. (For those in this camp, take a look at my book, Leading From the Sandbox, chapters two, three and four that are all about getting to clarity).


In my role as an organizational leader I consider job one that of providing maximum clarity to those I lead and am the chief evangelist of that clarity. Why? Because I am convinced that the clarity we have around the four key questions of mission, non-negotiables, focus and culture are the very things that are going to get us to the greatest success. There are many things I could do but neglecting this one would cause the whole organization to suffer. On the other hand, the more focused we are on our clarity the greater our success will be. 


Clarity is challenging but it is job one of any leader. Miss that responsibility and everything suffers. Get it right and everything else is enhanced. 

Church conflict, christian character and the reputation of Jesus

Church conflict inevitably happens since their populations are made up of "flawed saints." I am currently involved in consulting with a number of congregations walking through conflict and the thing that grabs my attention time after time is that those who claim to love Jesus are quick to damage His bride - the church - when they don't get their way in the church. Here is the irony: many are willing to trash, divide, hurt and engage in unholy conduct in the church (Jesus' most precious possession) and yet claim to love the Lord of the church. It is not compatible, it does not compute and God is not pleased!


I am not saying that important issues in the church must sometimes be addressed, even when it makes others unhappy. However, when our actions, words, attitudes and conduct violates what Jesus has to say about those issues, we have crossed a line into sin. Our cause may be righteous but if our conduct is sinful we are in the wrong and the loser is the church and the reputation of Jesus. Spiritual issues must be dealt with in spiritual ways. When they are not we have crossed a dangerous line.


Many of us have an inadequate view of the place and theology of the church in God's plan. According to Scripture, the church is the bride of Christ. He has placed His whole plan for the salvation of the world at the feet of the church as His chosen instrument to reach the world. Further, He loves the church and members of the church are members of "His body." As His bride, His reputation is wrapped up in the conduct of the church. Trash the church and you trash His reputation. Divide the church and you divide His body. Be careless about preserving the unity of the church and you are playing careless about His bride. 


Think about this: if someone violated your children or tried to destroy or hurt your family you would hold them responsible for the damage they inflicted. Why do we think Jesus is any less grieved and angry when people are careless about their conduct in the church that results in damage to His family? And to make it worse, it is members of His family hurting His family! To top it off, it is people He redeemed who are hurting others who He redeemed. 


The reputation of Jesus is either lifted up or brought down by the conduct of His church. One of the greatest proofs of His transformation in our lives is our ability to disagree with one another while continuing to love one another and refusing to hurt each other in the process. Acts 15 and the council of Jerusalem gives us a good example of Christian leaders working out disagreements while retaining their Godly character. There was robust dialogue which resulted in conflict being resolved in a godly way. However, when our disagreements result in sinful behavior toward one another we are not only trashing each other but we are trashing our Lord - strong words but true.


When dealing with conflict in the church we ought to ask several key questions:
One: How do we address the issue without hurting the bride?
Two: Does my conduct in any way move away from the christian character I have been called to?
Three: What other Godly individuals can we call in to help us negotiate our issues when we come to an impasse or are we afraid of accountability?
Four: Are we together living out the teaching of Philippians 2:1-5, along with the example of Christ?
Five: Am I coming at this issue from a spirit of humility or pride?
Six: Do I have bitterness and anger in my heart toward anyone on the other side?


Any church engaged in conflict needs to think deeply about these words of Paul. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that  of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5)."

What gets pastors into trouble with their congregation

Pastoring today is one of the most challenging jobs on our planet. You have as many expectations as you have parishioners, there are strong opinions on almost everything, church unity is easily disrupted and spiritual battles are always being fought. 


All of that is true but it is also true that pastors can cause pain for themselves if they do not pay attention to a set of core disciplines or practices. Those non-negotiable core disciplines include the following:


One: Not putting adequate time into message preparation. Yes I know that the seminary lingo that one should put an hour into every minute of speaking is generally impossible and that the bar on preaching has been raised dramatically in the past three decades as good preaching and teaching has become available to anyone who looks via radio and the Internet. 


However, when I hear complaints regarding preaching it is almost never that their pastor does not live up to some well known and gifted speaker. Rather it is that they do not preach messages fully rooted in Scripture and applicable to the real issues of life. Our people will give us great grace in not being the greatest preacher in the world but they will not forgive us for not rooting our messages solidly in God's Word and making its application to real life clear. Preaching rooted in God's word has power regardless of the skill of the speaker as God's Word changes lives. Pop theology and psychology does not change lives - the Word does.


Two: Not building strong team among staff and volunteers. Disunified staff or lack of alignment of staff and key leaders causes lack of unity and alignment in the church. Too many pastors see the job of building a strong team as an afterthought rather than a central part of their role. It matters because a cohesive staff is necessary for a missional direction and well planned ministry. Lack of staff unity or alignment will eventually cause a lack of unity in the church that will come back and bite the senior leader.


Three: Not being able to articulate a clear vision and direction for the church. When there is not clarity over who we are or where we are going, churches start to drift and that drift is uncomfortable for many in the congregation even if they cannot articulate it. For leaders in the congregation (elected or not) it is a huge issue because they understand that clarity of direction is key to getting healthy ministry done. Congregations are not looking for pastors who have the leadership skills of some high profile mega church leaders but they are looking for clarity of direction - and they have every right to expect that from their leader.


If a pastor is not gifted in defining a clear vision and direction, it is critical that they bring around them people who can help them do so. When this is not done well, congregations not only drift but they turn inward and conflict often results. Lack of direction will eventually compromise a pastor's ministry.


Four: Poor Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Poor EQ translates into poor relationships, defensiveness, inability to develop a culture where robust dialogue is encouraged, a need to be right, being unapproachable, inability to deal with people who disagree with them, personal insecurities, hubris, narcissism and so on. EQ issues will catch up with a pastor because their ability to lead always comes back to healthy relationships and personal influence. Where healthy relationships are not the norm, conflict results, good people gravitate out of the church and the culture of the church starts to reflect the dysfunction of the senior leader. In addition, healthy people spot poor EQ easily and are often not interested in working closely with leaders of poor EQ.


Healthy and wise pastors pay a huge amount of attention to these four areas because the lack of health in these four will, without question, compromise their leadership and may even become the cause of having to leave their church. When pastors get into trouble it is not always the fault of others. It can be the inattention to key issues of leadership that define their role. These four are always central.

Deal with it!

It is an all too common scenario when consulting with churches or ministries. They have a problem with a staff member who does not belong or a member of the church who is behaving in ways that hurt the body and a leader says to me, "We should have dealt with this a long time ago." Had they done so they probably would not need someone to come in and help them with the fallout!


What happens when we put off dealing with issues? They don't go away - they simply become more difficult to deal with in the future. Take a staff member who does not fit the team. Whenever you deal with the situation there is fallout because all staff have a constituency. Don't deal with it when you should and that constituency just becomes stronger and the fallout worse when one is forced to finally deal with the inevitable. If that staff member is undermining the senior leader (yes it happens when people have their own agenda) the longer one waits the weaker the senior leader becomes.


Often leaders (pastors, elders, ministry leaders) put off dealing with the hard issues because they don't want to endure the pain that accompanies the addressing of the issue. Rather than settle for the short term pain that is followed by a far healthier culture they prolong their pain by not taking the action they know they should take. Their fear of the pain actually causes the ministry longer and deeper pain than if they had addressed the issue earlier. Sometimes to the chagrin of their successor, they simply leave the problem in place and force someone else to deal with it. Welcome to your new job :).


In the name of grace (and I am a great believer in grace) and conflict avoidance we often prolong the pain to an organization even when we know in our gut that no matter what we do, nothing is going to change. By choosing avoidance we put anchors on the ministry that keep dragging along the bottom, slowing everything down while we are trying to catch the wind and sail.  I have known pastors and leaders that could not let a staff member go even though they know in their heart of hearts that that member is hurting the rest of the team. I know leaders who would not deal with church thugs even though those individuals created chaos in the congregation. Avoidance does not work. It creates greater problems and pain and the longer one waits to address the problem the more difficult it is to do so.


The only good solution is to deal with it. Be smart and wise but deal with it.

Listening to our spouse

There have been a number of key decision points in my marriage where I have been ready to do something and Mary Ann expressed significant reservations. Those reservations kept me from moving ahead until we were both on the same page and were a great gift to me. In fact, I believe that spouses who don't carefully listen to one another on major decisions are not only foolish but potentially failing to listen to the Holy Spirit. I won't say that I was not sometimes irritated by her reluctance to agree with me but I will say she was invariably right and I would have paid dumb tax had I not listened.


Not listening is foolish because there are few people who know us better than our spouse! They know our strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, dark sides and all that makes up who we are. Furthermore, two people engaged in a decision is far better then one, especially when both have to live with the consequences. When I have an especially contentious issue at work or with an individual I will always talk it over with Mary Ann and will listen carefully to her counsel and usually my response is better for it.


But there is another factor that we often forget. As believers, we live with the gift of the Holy Spirit. The question is whether we are listening to the Holy Spirit in our busyness. My observation is that Mary Ann, like many women, are more reflective than many men and hear the whispers of the Spirit better than many men. Those whispers, however, are whispers from God who has our best interests in mind - always. Thus when our spouse indicates reservations it may just be that it is not them speaking but the Holy Spirit through them. 


All married couples face significant issues together. The simple practice of praying about these issues together, talking about them and listening carefully to one another on all of them can lead to better decisions, wiser actions and most of all the best shot at hearing the Holy Spirit in the process. We ignore the reflections of our spouse to our peril and may even miss the direction of the Holy Spirit in the process. 

Theologians in the pews

OK, I don't like the lay/clergy distinction but recognize it is there. However, there is a long history within the evangelical tradition of theologians in the pews, not simply in the pulpit. In fact, it was the theologians in the pews who left the state church in Europe and formed "free churches" when the theologians in the pulpits no longer held to the truth of the Scriptures. This illustrates the importance of ordinary men and women who are also biblically literate. We cannot simply outsource the role of theologian to those with the requisite degrees. We need people who think deeply on the things of Scripture and their application to life and the church.

Perhaps the Bereans of the New Testament best illustrated this tradition as they carefully studied the scriptures. Today, every tool available to pastors is also available to the rest of us - even tools to study the original languages (without having to learn them and most pastors forget what they learned of those quickly and use those tools as well). 

There are many believers who are content with a simple knowledge of God and Scripture. But the health of the church requires that there are also those who go deep, drinking regularly at the well of truth and are able to teach and translate that truth to the lives of everyday people. It is a laudable goal, especially if that learning first goes into the lives of the learner. 

When I was a child it was not unusual to have such people fill the pulpit from time to time. Today that is rare but there are more people who can teach and preach than we often acknowledge. It makes a statement when someone without a seminary or Bible school degree gives the message. It illustrates to others that Biblical truth is accessible to all rather than some. 

It is often those "lay theologians" who challenge the church in missional directions. They are less enamored with "scripture light" that characterizes much of today's preaching. That is why effective Bible teachers in the local church are so loved. Many want to delve more fully than Sunday mornings lend themselves to. 

If you are a lay theologian, a theologian in the pew, I salute you. You are deeply needed by the body. Keep it up and help all of us both love the Word more deeply and apply it more effectively. If you are a pastor, what are you doing to encourage, use and build into the skills of your theologians in the pew? 

Our bucket list for Jesus

Lot's of us have bucket lists - those things we want to do before we die. One friend of mine wants to play the top 100 golf courses in the world, another to visit all the countries of the world: I have told him it is easy to get into all of them but tough to get out of some of them. Bucket lists are fun, give life color and reflect our various interests.


What about a Jesus bucket list? Things we want to do for Jesus in the years He gives us. Those too are fun and reflect our gifts and spiritual interests - and have meaning for eternity. One couple I know of wants to support 100 children in need and they keep increasing the number to get there. Another wants to give one million dollars in compassion funds to the least of these. Another wants to make one short term trip each year to strengthen pastors in the majority world who get little or no encouragement from others. Mary Ann and I desire all of our neighbors to come to Christ and we work and pray toward that end.


God gave us the ability to dream, imagine and envision what can be. This is part of being made in the image of God. That creativity can be channeled in many directions. One of those directions should be bringing bits of heaven to earth (The Lord's Prayer) wherever we can in line with our gifts and abilities. The world will not be changed by the programs of our churches (good as they are) but by the acts of ordinary men and women living out their God given destiny.


All of us have dreams of things we want to do in this life. Let's add a bucket list for Jesus to those dreams. Many things don't cross the line from time to eternity but these things will.

Parents: a major inhibitor to sending new missionaries

This blog may rub the wrong way - welcome to the genre. And I don't really want it to. I am the parent of two grown men and the grandfather of one precious boy. But, the fact remains that it is not unusual for young people being called into missions to face strong resistance from their own Christian parents.


The arguments often start with safety: after all we read many bad things about the world on a regular basis. Then there is the economic argument: missionaries don't make much and it takes a lot to raise a family these days. Or, it is the fear or reality of not having grandchildren close to home. In my experience, the greater the economic wealth of the family the more resistance there is to blessing adult children who choose to give their lives to Christian work, especially overseas. 


At the core of this resistance is the belief that the primary end of our lives is about economic stability, health, safety from all possible threats, the best opportunities for our children and the accumulation of enough wealth to cover the eventualities of life. That is why other successful individuals told my parents many years ago that they would be throwing their lives away if they went into foreign missions. 


So let me ask the obvious question. Is our highest goal to achieve the American dream or to follow the leading of Jesus wherever He chooses to lead us? Jesus answered that question definitively when in the Garden he rejected the alternatives and said, "Thy will be done." Abraham answered that question when he left the stability of Ur for Canaan. Paul answered that question when he followed Jesus to be the missionary to the very Gentiles he had hated. How have you answered that question and does it apply to your children and grandchildren as well?


Family is precious. God is more precious yet and he cares for our family in ways we never could. My "poor and deprived" upbringing in Hong Kong from the point of view of many back home was the richest existence I could have and the greatest contribution to God's plan for my life. God provided for our family in amazing ways.


If your children or grandchildren are called by God to difficult places, never get in the way of His call on their lives. And never confuse the highest goal of life with the American dream - or the dream of a good life. The good life and the best life is always found where Jesus is and where He calls us to be.

The world hits 7 billion

It is a big milestone that our world reached just yesterday - at least officially. It is especially amazing when you consider that the world's population was 1.7 billion in 1900 and only 600 million in 1700! It is also a reminder of the challenge we have to reach an exploding world with the good news of Christ.


The corollary to the large numbers is that in our connected, globalized world, it is possible to reach more people more quickly than ever before. Our world is largely accessible today, something that was not true when I arrived in Hong Kong as a child with my parents in 1960. In the preglobalized world (then) the evangelization of the world looked like a daunting task. Travel was difficult and expensive, communication was slow and by letter and the gospel was not well known in many places.


Not only is the world far more accessible today but there are far more believers globally who can partner together in sharing the Gospel. It is those partnerships, I strongly believe, that are the key to seeing the Gospel expand rapidly. Churches and agencies in the west partnering with the global church to train church planters, pastors and missionaries and leveraging our various skills and strengths for a common cause. The majority world church is hungry for shared strategies and healthy partnerships to reach their own populations and beyond.


Many look at population growth and see coming disaster. I look at global growth and see opportunity for the expansion of heaven's population where every language, tribe, nation and people will be represented. We have the opportunity in our globalized world to see that population expand more quickly than ever before.