Saturday, March 14, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
Closed ministry systems that are deeply dysfunctional
I spoke recently with a ministry leader who had resigned from his church staff position (a large church) because of the dysfunctional culture that he sensed. Having left the "system," he now realizes that it was a great deal more dysfunctional than he thought, and he is so glad to be out of it. When we are in a "closed" system that is dysfunctional or toxic, we may sense that not all is right, but it is when we get out that we realize how dysfunctional it was. This applies to staff systems as well as whole congregations where there is significant dishealth. Such dysfunction can be part of the historic DNA of the church, a dysfunctional board, a dysfunctional leader, or a "church boss" who wields unhealthy power and has a personal agenda.
What are some of the signs of a closed and dysfunctional ministry system?
One: There is great pressure for people to think in similar ways and not to have independent voices. In closed systems, independent opinions that go against the "group think" are a threat and are not valued. Often, independent thinkers in ministries are either labeled as troublemakers or spiritually immature. Certainly, it is not safe to disagree significantly.
Two: Questions to the status quo are seen as disloyalty. This is especially true for senior leaders who are insecure and do not like their paradigms or opinions to be questioned. As long as one keeps the party line you are "in." If you ask hard questions, you are marginalized.
Three: Candid dialogue is not allowed. Usually, it is the senior leader who sets the tone here. In closed systems, candid dialogue is a threat rather than a valued part of the culture. The reason is that such dialogue will inevitably challenge the standard line.
Four: In closed systems, senior leaders often protect themselves from accountability or questions. They hide behind a spiritual veil that sounds good but keeps people from getting too close. And they surround themselves with people who will agree with them and those who don't usually don't stay: either because they know how dysfunctional it is or they are marginalized or let go.
Five: When independent voices appear or when someone steps out of the prevailing culture, there is great pressure put on them to get in line and conform to standard opinions. It is a family system thing, and any threat to the prevailing culture brings pressure for conformity. This is why, in dysfunctional staff situations and congregations, independent thinkers often leave. They see the system for what it is and know it is not healthy.
Six: The most telling moment for those who get out of such systems is how free they feel once they are out of it. And even though they knew it was not healthy, they realized once out how unhealthy it was. Those who leave are also a threat to those who stay, who, at some level, feel that those leaving are not loyal. They have violated the family system.
If any of these characteristics are true of your staff or the ministry you are in, consider the possibility that you are caught in a closed and dysfunctional system.
What are some of the signs of a closed and dysfunctional ministry system?
One: There is great pressure for people to think in similar ways and not to have independent voices. In closed systems, independent opinions that go against the "group think" are a threat and are not valued. Often, independent thinkers in ministries are either labeled as troublemakers or spiritually immature. Certainly, it is not safe to disagree significantly.
Two: Questions to the status quo are seen as disloyalty. This is especially true for senior leaders who are insecure and do not like their paradigms or opinions to be questioned. As long as one keeps the party line you are "in." If you ask hard questions, you are marginalized.
Three: Candid dialogue is not allowed. Usually, it is the senior leader who sets the tone here. In closed systems, candid dialogue is a threat rather than a valued part of the culture. The reason is that such dialogue will inevitably challenge the standard line.
Four: In closed systems, senior leaders often protect themselves from accountability or questions. They hide behind a spiritual veil that sounds good but keeps people from getting too close. And they surround themselves with people who will agree with them and those who don't usually don't stay: either because they know how dysfunctional it is or they are marginalized or let go.
Five: When independent voices appear or when someone steps out of the prevailing culture, there is great pressure put on them to get in line and conform to standard opinions. It is a family system thing, and any threat to the prevailing culture brings pressure for conformity. This is why, in dysfunctional staff situations and congregations, independent thinkers often leave. They see the system for what it is and know it is not healthy.
Six: The most telling moment for those who get out of such systems is how free they feel once they are out of it. And even though they knew it was not healthy, they realized once out how unhealthy it was. Those who leave are also a threat to those who stay, who, at some level, feel that those leaving are not loyal. They have violated the family system.
If any of these characteristics are true of your staff or the ministry you are in, consider the possibility that you are caught in a closed and dysfunctional system.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
"I’ve loved Addington’s work for years, because it addresses the questions that keep me up at night as a leader."
"Awhile back, T.J. sought input on the manuscript of his now-released Deep Influence to fellow leaders in the EFCA (like me). What follows are some of the gems I gleaned (a combination of direct quotations and personalized applications)." - Jeff Cagwin
See Jeff Cagwin's take aways
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
See Jeff Cagwin's take aways
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
The expectation trap for leaders
Those who lead inherit expectations from their team or organization. Some of those expectations are critical: Building healthy teams; serving one's staff; removing barriers; clarifying what is important and so on. As I wrote recently all supervisors and leaders have an unwritten contract with those they lead around these key issues.
Then there are what I call false or unrealistic expectations that simply come from history (what the previous leader did), personal preferences (this is what my leader should do) or my personal version of what a leader is and does. This is one of the primary issues pastors face because there are as many expectations of what a pastor should be and do as their are members of the congregation. It is these unrealistic or false expectations that cause issues for leaders unless they are personally clear as to what is important to them.
The expectations of others are a trap because no leader can ever fulfill all the expectations that others have, nor should they. There are simply too many. Leaders must be clear about what is important to them in leading well rather than trying to fulfill the expectations of others. Furthermore those expectations (other than the critical obligations every leader has) are often distractions to good leadership rather than contributors to the mission.
If we are driven to please others by meeting their expectations we are more concerned that people like us than that we lead well and people respect us. There is a big difference between the two. The best leaders have great conviction as to what their priorities are and it does not include meeting all the expectations of others.
There is another issue at play. The expectations of others usually come from how they would live or lead. But they are not us. "But our last pastor...." is not an uncommon phrase. Bless them for how they did what they did but we are not them. It is why in our organization while there are some non negotiable expectations of leaders, how they do what they do is highly flexible. Leaders are individuals with their unique gifting, personalities and even quirks (yes we all have them). This is why I write in Deep Influence that we must lead from who God made us to be.
When we get caught in trying to meet the unrealistic or false expectations of others we inevitably get out of our best lane and it hurts our leadership. Ironically in trying to meet the expectations of others we often end up hurting our staff because we are no longer leading out of who we are or focused on the clarity that we ought to have.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Then there are what I call false or unrealistic expectations that simply come from history (what the previous leader did), personal preferences (this is what my leader should do) or my personal version of what a leader is and does. This is one of the primary issues pastors face because there are as many expectations of what a pastor should be and do as their are members of the congregation. It is these unrealistic or false expectations that cause issues for leaders unless they are personally clear as to what is important to them.
The expectations of others are a trap because no leader can ever fulfill all the expectations that others have, nor should they. There are simply too many. Leaders must be clear about what is important to them in leading well rather than trying to fulfill the expectations of others. Furthermore those expectations (other than the critical obligations every leader has) are often distractions to good leadership rather than contributors to the mission.
If we are driven to please others by meeting their expectations we are more concerned that people like us than that we lead well and people respect us. There is a big difference between the two. The best leaders have great conviction as to what their priorities are and it does not include meeting all the expectations of others.
There is another issue at play. The expectations of others usually come from how they would live or lead. But they are not us. "But our last pastor...." is not an uncommon phrase. Bless them for how they did what they did but we are not them. It is why in our organization while there are some non negotiable expectations of leaders, how they do what they do is highly flexible. Leaders are individuals with their unique gifting, personalities and even quirks (yes we all have them). This is why I write in Deep Influence that we must lead from who God made us to be.
When we get caught in trying to meet the unrealistic or false expectations of others we inevitably get out of our best lane and it hurts our leadership. Ironically in trying to meet the expectations of others we often end up hurting our staff because we are no longer leading out of who we are or focused on the clarity that we ought to have.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
Sunday, March 8, 2015
How a life of grace makes humility possible and pride less likely
Pride is ubiquitous among leaders in the Christian world. The interesting thing about pride is that it is often rooted in insecurity. If I am insecure I don't want to be wrong and if I don't want to be wrong I will insist that I am right which leads directly away from humility and straight toward pride.
But why do we live with needing to hide our insecurities and weaknesses and mask them with certainty and a need to be right? May I suggest that it is because we are trying to prove something about ourselves? That we are good enough? That we are not failures? That we are worthy people? That God will be happy with us? That we are successful?
Is it possible that at the heart of our pride and fear of failure and therefore a need to be right and in charge is that we do not understand grace? What is grace about other than that God accepts us with all of our sin, weaknesses, dysfunctions, dark sides, and all the rest we can name. And if He accepts us and loves us and if we live in His grace, why do we need to pretend we are something we are not or fear our insecurities? After all, God knows everything about us fully and yet loves us fully. He loved us when we didn't know Him and even then extended grace.
Understanding God's grace is necessary to give ourselves grace. And if I am living in grace I don't need to pretend, I don't need to be right, I don't need to prove myself to others and I can admit my insecurities, failures and other areas of struggle. And that is the key to a life of humility. Pride is all about a facade to protect ourselves. Understanding grace removes me from the necessity of the facade and allows me to be real - the real me - warts and all. And it allows me to be OK with the journey I am on toward greater likeness to Jesus but knowing it will remain imperfect until I see Him.
I suspect that humility and grace are deeply intertwined and that understanding, living in and extending to ourselves God's grace is a key to the ability to live humbly. Humility is a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude where we don't need pretense. It is an honest life. Honest about who we are, the gifts God has given us, the brokenness we have and the journey we are on. I am not sure that true humility is possible without a good understanding of God's grace.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
But why do we live with needing to hide our insecurities and weaknesses and mask them with certainty and a need to be right? May I suggest that it is because we are trying to prove something about ourselves? That we are good enough? That we are not failures? That we are worthy people? That God will be happy with us? That we are successful?
Is it possible that at the heart of our pride and fear of failure and therefore a need to be right and in charge is that we do not understand grace? What is grace about other than that God accepts us with all of our sin, weaknesses, dysfunctions, dark sides, and all the rest we can name. And if He accepts us and loves us and if we live in His grace, why do we need to pretend we are something we are not or fear our insecurities? After all, God knows everything about us fully and yet loves us fully. He loved us when we didn't know Him and even then extended grace.
Understanding God's grace is necessary to give ourselves grace. And if I am living in grace I don't need to pretend, I don't need to be right, I don't need to prove myself to others and I can admit my insecurities, failures and other areas of struggle. And that is the key to a life of humility. Pride is all about a facade to protect ourselves. Understanding grace removes me from the necessity of the facade and allows me to be real - the real me - warts and all. And it allows me to be OK with the journey I am on toward greater likeness to Jesus but knowing it will remain imperfect until I see Him.
I suspect that humility and grace are deeply intertwined and that understanding, living in and extending to ourselves God's grace is a key to the ability to live humbly. Humility is a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude where we don't need pretense. It is an honest life. Honest about who we are, the gifts God has given us, the brokenness we have and the journey we are on. I am not sure that true humility is possible without a good understanding of God's grace.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Negative voices are empowered because they talk with one another
Why can a few negative voices make such a difference in an organization? It is really quite simple. People with negativity find each other, talk to one another and create bonds with each other around their unhappiness. Of course others are left out of the conversation but the negative voices reinforce themselves and it feels like they represent the majority. Usually they do not.
These alliances often create significant dysfunction. For instance, a negative staff member of an organization finds a receptive ear with a board member (going around the leader) and they start back channel discussions around their concerns. All of a sudden this board member has "information" (tainted as it may be) but none of the other board members are in on the conversation or can bring balance. The leader is also in an unfair place as he/she does not know where the negativity is coming from.
These alliances reflect poor EQ. We should be able to disagree with one another and stay connected rather than needing to connect over what we don't like. Relationships built on common enemies or "concerns" are not true relationships. They are simply alliances built around an issue. And when the issue is a negative one, the relationship gets it fuel from the negativity, never a healthy fuel.
What is interesting is that those involved often lose their ability to truly see reality. They assume that there are far more people who are in agreement with them than is actually the case. That is because negativity is reinforced by talking to others who agree with their position. Often in church conflicts this is the case. People will tell me that the vast majority of folks agree with them when in reality it is actually a few. But negativity feeds their reality until they don't see accurately.
When I hear common negative language or mistrust I assume that there are folks allied around a common issue. I do not assume that it reflects the majority opinion even though it is loud. These are times when it is important that those who don't agree speak up and not stay silent. Silence contributes to the negativity. Being self defined can change the equation. Don't get caught up with others where the relationship or common interest is a negative one. It is rarely healthy or productive.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
These alliances often create significant dysfunction. For instance, a negative staff member of an organization finds a receptive ear with a board member (going around the leader) and they start back channel discussions around their concerns. All of a sudden this board member has "information" (tainted as it may be) but none of the other board members are in on the conversation or can bring balance. The leader is also in an unfair place as he/she does not know where the negativity is coming from.
These alliances reflect poor EQ. We should be able to disagree with one another and stay connected rather than needing to connect over what we don't like. Relationships built on common enemies or "concerns" are not true relationships. They are simply alliances built around an issue. And when the issue is a negative one, the relationship gets it fuel from the negativity, never a healthy fuel.
What is interesting is that those involved often lose their ability to truly see reality. They assume that there are far more people who are in agreement with them than is actually the case. That is because negativity is reinforced by talking to others who agree with their position. Often in church conflicts this is the case. People will tell me that the vast majority of folks agree with them when in reality it is actually a few. But negativity feeds their reality until they don't see accurately.
When I hear common negative language or mistrust I assume that there are folks allied around a common issue. I do not assume that it reflects the majority opinion even though it is loud. These are times when it is important that those who don't agree speak up and not stay silent. Silence contributes to the negativity. Being self defined can change the equation. Don't get caught up with others where the relationship or common interest is a negative one. It is rarely healthy or productive.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Our commitment to speaking truth as leaders and Christ followers
One of the attributes of God is that He is truth incarnate. If you do a search of words like "truth," or "lies" you realize that God's character demands truthfulness from His people. But even more significant are Jesus' statements in the Gospels that Satan is the father of lies. Thus, when we speak truth we emulate the character of God and when we knowingly speak untruth or spin the truth (so that it is no longer truth) we emulate the Evil One. There is no other conclusion.
The lack of truthfulness in our lives or organizations is designed to make us look better than we are or to cover up our own mistakes. It is what Washington does, it is what corporations do it is what happens daily all around us. It is an acceptable practice in many circles. But it should not be acceptable in the lives or organizations that represent Jesus. If we represent Him we must emulate His character and truth is at the heart of who He is.
Spinning the facts to make ourselves look good is so ubiquitous in our society that it pervades many of God's people. I often work with churches where leaders have not only not told the truth to the congregation about issues they were dealing with but actually lied. They would say to protect people. Silence is far better than lying and while one does not have to share all truth, whatever is shared must be true.
Often we add some truth to falsehoods to make our statements plausible. But as CS Lewis points out in The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, "By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lies far stronger."
We have had instances in our own organization where someone was not truthful in their communications. I take these instances very seriously as the leader of ReachGlobal because our integrity is at stake. When we become aware of such issues (thankfully rare) there is literally a "come to Jesus meeting" since such violations go to the core of who He is and who we represent. We either emulate the Father of truth or the father of lies. It is that simple.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
The lack of truthfulness in our lives or organizations is designed to make us look better than we are or to cover up our own mistakes. It is what Washington does, it is what corporations do it is what happens daily all around us. It is an acceptable practice in many circles. But it should not be acceptable in the lives or organizations that represent Jesus. If we represent Him we must emulate His character and truth is at the heart of who He is.
Spinning the facts to make ourselves look good is so ubiquitous in our society that it pervades many of God's people. I often work with churches where leaders have not only not told the truth to the congregation about issues they were dealing with but actually lied. They would say to protect people. Silence is far better than lying and while one does not have to share all truth, whatever is shared must be true.
Often we add some truth to falsehoods to make our statements plausible. But as CS Lewis points out in The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, "By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lies far stronger."
We have had instances in our own organization where someone was not truthful in their communications. I take these instances very seriously as the leader of ReachGlobal because our integrity is at stake. When we become aware of such issues (thankfully rare) there is literally a "come to Jesus meeting" since such violations go to the core of who He is and who we represent. We either emulate the Father of truth or the father of lies. It is that simple.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Communication silos and integration
It is not uncommon for a leader to have many one on one conversations with members of his/her staff but not to inform others of the contents of those conversations so that they are the only ones who have all the information. FDR was famous for this tactic. What it does is to give the leader the power of information but to leave staff in the dark. It is disempowering to staff and actually a dysfunctional way to lead (FDR notwithstanding).
Whenever any of us have conversations with other staff whether we are the leader or a staff member there must be a question asked at the end of the conversation. Who else needs to know about what we talked about? Often our conversations have implications for others and it is our responsibility to let them know of ideas being considered or decisions made or contemplated - if it will impact them.
Because information is power and because healthy leaders share rather than hoard power, we need to ensure that those who need to know are in on the conversation even if not physically present. Few things silo organizations or individuals more than siloed conversations and decisions. Not everyone needs to know everything but we need to be sensitive to what they do need to know.
In a flat world this is everyone's responsibility, not simply the leader. I am responsible for sharing the information I have that others need. They have the same responsibility. Don't allow siloed conversations when they have implications for others. Share what you need to share. It builds trust, keeps everyone in the loop and removes unnecessary silos.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Whenever any of us have conversations with other staff whether we are the leader or a staff member there must be a question asked at the end of the conversation. Who else needs to know about what we talked about? Often our conversations have implications for others and it is our responsibility to let them know of ideas being considered or decisions made or contemplated - if it will impact them.
Because information is power and because healthy leaders share rather than hoard power, we need to ensure that those who need to know are in on the conversation even if not physically present. Few things silo organizations or individuals more than siloed conversations and decisions. Not everyone needs to know everything but we need to be sensitive to what they do need to know.
In a flat world this is everyone's responsibility, not simply the leader. I am responsible for sharing the information I have that others need. They have the same responsibility. Don't allow siloed conversations when they have implications for others. Share what you need to share. It builds trust, keeps everyone in the loop and removes unnecessary silos.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Conversation with Hugh Halter on bi-vocational church planting
Interesting conversation today about bi-vocational church planting of small kingdom communities in the United States as a means of multiplying the church, doing evangelism among friends and forming relational communities that are connected. It costs almost nothing, allows those driven for evangelism and ministry to use their gifts and multiplies the church.
This is not the answer for all church planting but it is a lane that needs to be far more visible and honored in the United States. Interestingly this is exactly what we do internationally. The three largest inhibitors to the multiplication of the church globally - including the United States is the belief that you need to have real estate, a building and a full time pastor. Forming Kingdom communities costs almost nothing, releases God's people and is all about relationships. It is similar to what happened in the early church.
We use this approach in the developed and undeveloped world but it is not an honored model in the United States but I predict it is coming. Many young leaders are not interested in the traditional model but are interested in an evangelistically and discipleship model based on relationships, community, releasing everyone in ministry and keeping expenses low. These Kingdom communities can multiply in relationship together and form a larger community.
What gets in the way of seeing this as a viable model in the US? It is our metrics of success which focus on numbers, buildings, budgets and staffing. But often to the exclusion of relationships with unbelievers, evangelism (rather than church transfer) and releasing everyone in ministry within close community.
Unfortunately in the large church model we often pay people to do ministry rather than open opportunities for the congregants to do significant ministry. Kingdom communities open doors for far more significant ministry for ministry driven professionals and congregants.
This is not an either or but a both and. Those denominations that open a lane and honor those who plant Kingdom communities will lead those who only use the traditional model where it is not unusual to invest $250,000 in a church plant - many of which fail.
Check out Hugh's book. We do it internationally. Why not domestically?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
This is not the answer for all church planting but it is a lane that needs to be far more visible and honored in the United States. Interestingly this is exactly what we do internationally. The three largest inhibitors to the multiplication of the church globally - including the United States is the belief that you need to have real estate, a building and a full time pastor. Forming Kingdom communities costs almost nothing, releases God's people and is all about relationships. It is similar to what happened in the early church.
We use this approach in the developed and undeveloped world but it is not an honored model in the United States but I predict it is coming. Many young leaders are not interested in the traditional model but are interested in an evangelistically and discipleship model based on relationships, community, releasing everyone in ministry and keeping expenses low. These Kingdom communities can multiply in relationship together and form a larger community.
What gets in the way of seeing this as a viable model in the US? It is our metrics of success which focus on numbers, buildings, budgets and staffing. But often to the exclusion of relationships with unbelievers, evangelism (rather than church transfer) and releasing everyone in ministry within close community.
Unfortunately in the large church model we often pay people to do ministry rather than open opportunities for the congregants to do significant ministry. Kingdom communities open doors for far more significant ministry for ministry driven professionals and congregants.
This is not an either or but a both and. Those denominations that open a lane and honor those who plant Kingdom communities will lead those who only use the traditional model where it is not unusual to invest $250,000 in a church plant - many of which fail.
Check out Hugh's book. We do it internationally. Why not domestically?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Deep Influence is coming to the Glen Erie Conference Center in Colorado Springs March 7
If you are in that area, I would love to have you join me for a day of Deep Influence.
http://www.gleneyrie.org/Our-Events/Deep-Influence
http://www.gleneyrie.org/Our-Events/Deep-Influence
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Friday, February 27, 2015
The wrong questions to ask about life and God
We often ask the wrong questions about life. Questions that if we studied the life of Jesus, Paul and a host of Biblical heroes we would not ask. In fact, our questions reflect more of our society than of Biblical theology. Consider the following.
Why me God? We ask this question when suffering enters our lives but the real question is Why not me? Suffering and hardship is a part of the fallen world and I cannot think of a single great figure in the Scriptures who did not suffer and whom God did not use that suffering for redemptive purposes in their lives.
Why does this happen to me when I have served you so well? Another variation of the first question. Yet Jesus explicitly said that to follow Him is to daily take up our cross - as He did. Ironically, following Him closely will often result in more suffering than not because we are following in the "fellowship of His sufferings." What a privilege when it happens even if we would never ask for that privilege.
Why does God not give me all that I ask? Or answer my prayers? Jesus invites us to ask Him to fill all of our needs, even our "daily bread." I would posit that he does answer our prayers but in ways that are best for us. Some things we pray for would not benefit us if He answered as we asked. Yet, He hears and responds to all of our prayers but from His perfect and divine perspective.
What if I am not worthy to ask Him for help? But we are! Because His willingness to hear us is not based on our merit but on His wonderful grace. The truth is that in ourselves we are never worthy of His help. But in His love, mercy and grace He freely gives us His presence, help and the best. There is nothing we can do to cause Jesus to love us more and there is nothing we can do to cause Him to love us less.
If I serve Him will He be good to me? Yes! But that question presupposes that there is a quid pro quo between our followership of Him and His blessing on our lives (by our definition). God is always good and He is always sovereign and He always does what is best for us (Romans 8:28). The question is in our definition of "good." God is always "good." We often do not realize what that good is. We see it from a human perspective and He sees it from a divine perspective.
God, if I do this for you will you do this for me? God is not to be bargained with but to be followed, loved and served. He is infinite in His love, His wisdom, His sovereignty and we don't serve Him for personal gain but out of love for the One who gave His life for us. I may serve him faithfully like Dietrich Bonhoeffer and pay with my life. We don't bargain with God. We serve Him and trust Him knowing that He is good, sovereign and has an eternal plan that will make Him look good and His reputation lifted high.
Why would He take my loved one from me in death? It is one of those tough questions but we often forget the other side of the equation. There is nothing - nothing - that compares to being in His presence for eternity. We mourn but the one we lost would not return to their earthly existence for anything once they had tasted just a moment in His presence. We overestimate life (precious as it is) and underestimate heaven (awesome as it is beyond our comprehension).
Here is the wonderful thing. We, like Job or David in the Psalms can ask of God any question we like. He hears us, empathizes with us, loves us and comforts us. He is not irritated by our questions but they often do not reflect a Biblical theology as much as our own pain and our societies values. In spite of that He loves us in spite of what we ask.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Why me God? We ask this question when suffering enters our lives but the real question is Why not me? Suffering and hardship is a part of the fallen world and I cannot think of a single great figure in the Scriptures who did not suffer and whom God did not use that suffering for redemptive purposes in their lives.
Why does this happen to me when I have served you so well? Another variation of the first question. Yet Jesus explicitly said that to follow Him is to daily take up our cross - as He did. Ironically, following Him closely will often result in more suffering than not because we are following in the "fellowship of His sufferings." What a privilege when it happens even if we would never ask for that privilege.
Why does God not give me all that I ask? Or answer my prayers? Jesus invites us to ask Him to fill all of our needs, even our "daily bread." I would posit that he does answer our prayers but in ways that are best for us. Some things we pray for would not benefit us if He answered as we asked. Yet, He hears and responds to all of our prayers but from His perfect and divine perspective.
What if I am not worthy to ask Him for help? But we are! Because His willingness to hear us is not based on our merit but on His wonderful grace. The truth is that in ourselves we are never worthy of His help. But in His love, mercy and grace He freely gives us His presence, help and the best. There is nothing we can do to cause Jesus to love us more and there is nothing we can do to cause Him to love us less.
If I serve Him will He be good to me? Yes! But that question presupposes that there is a quid pro quo between our followership of Him and His blessing on our lives (by our definition). God is always good and He is always sovereign and He always does what is best for us (Romans 8:28). The question is in our definition of "good." God is always "good." We often do not realize what that good is. We see it from a human perspective and He sees it from a divine perspective.
God, if I do this for you will you do this for me? God is not to be bargained with but to be followed, loved and served. He is infinite in His love, His wisdom, His sovereignty and we don't serve Him for personal gain but out of love for the One who gave His life for us. I may serve him faithfully like Dietrich Bonhoeffer and pay with my life. We don't bargain with God. We serve Him and trust Him knowing that He is good, sovereign and has an eternal plan that will make Him look good and His reputation lifted high.
Why would He take my loved one from me in death? It is one of those tough questions but we often forget the other side of the equation. There is nothing - nothing - that compares to being in His presence for eternity. We mourn but the one we lost would not return to their earthly existence for anything once they had tasted just a moment in His presence. We overestimate life (precious as it is) and underestimate heaven (awesome as it is beyond our comprehension).
Here is the wonderful thing. We, like Job or David in the Psalms can ask of God any question we like. He hears us, empathizes with us, loves us and comforts us. He is not irritated by our questions but they often do not reflect a Biblical theology as much as our own pain and our societies values. In spite of that He loves us in spite of what we ask.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
A thought on Christian dishonesty
There is a phrase - "evangelistically speaking" that characterizes too much reporting on ministry results in the Christian world. We feel like we need to help Jesus out by exaggerating numbers whether it is the number of those who attend our church, results of ministry efforts, people who have come to Christ, or often, the results of our own ministries.
Actually, it is not about Jesus at all but about us. We feel a need to inflate our results because it makes us feel good. But if it is not accurate it is also not honest. In written materials we can imply things that are not true and in general we can inflate the truth beyond what is really true. Consider a fast growing church where we report on the growth that sounds so impressive but don't add that 80% of our growth comes from those who transfer from another church.
I guess that this is one of those evangelical sins that we see as acceptable. But it should not be. Jesus is responsible for the fruit of our ministries and he does not need our help in making Him look good. Furthermore we are not being honest with ourselves let alone others and truth is a big deal to God - He is truth incarnate. The next time we are tempted to inflate the truth beyond what is true we ought to stop and consider.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Actually, it is not about Jesus at all but about us. We feel a need to inflate our results because it makes us feel good. But if it is not accurate it is also not honest. In written materials we can imply things that are not true and in general we can inflate the truth beyond what is really true. Consider a fast growing church where we report on the growth that sounds so impressive but don't add that 80% of our growth comes from those who transfer from another church.
I guess that this is one of those evangelical sins that we see as acceptable. But it should not be. Jesus is responsible for the fruit of our ministries and he does not need our help in making Him look good. Furthermore we are not being honest with ourselves let alone others and truth is a big deal to God - He is truth incarnate. The next time we are tempted to inflate the truth beyond what is true we ought to stop and consider.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Generous and selfish leadership styles
One's style of leadership can be characterized as either generous or selfish or somewhere on the continuum in between. We often don't think of leadership that way but our leadership styles do reflect the larger issue of our own spiritual growth and where we are on our journey with Jesus because intentional followership of Him inevitably leads us away from a focus on ourselves to a focus on Him. This is as true of high profile Christian leaders as it is of others.
For selfish leaders, there is a high need for recognition, adulation and the approval of others. Self focus among leaders is a sign of pride and pride is about me and that means it is about selfishness. Generous leaders, on the other hand, love it when others get the praise and they intentionally lift others up. Selfish leaders lift themselves up while generous leaders lift others up.
In like manner, generous leaders look out for the well being of their staff while selfish leaders look out for the well being of themselves. How we interact with and treat staff is a clear indicator of our generosity or selfishness. Those who marginalize, mistreat or poorly treat staff are not living with generosity. Rather they feel that their leadership position gives them the privilege and authority to treat staff as they like rather than to treat them well. Generous leaders love to serve their staff while selfish leaders love their staff to serve them.
I am also always fascinated by senior leaders who have salaries significantly higher than the next level down. They will tell me, "the board made this decision." Might be, but they make the decision for the levels below them and when there is a significant disparity it reveals a selfishness on the part of the leader who is OK with their privilege and OK with the disparity. It is not uncommon in Christian organizations - or others.
It is a worthwhile exercise for leaders to evaluate their actions and practices against the selfish - generous continuum. With some reflection we may realize that we could be doing better. The further we move toward generosity of spirit, the closer we resemble Jesus. This does not preclude tough decisions or dealing with problematic staff. But even there we can demonstrate either selfishness or generosity.
The more my leadership is about me the more selfishness I am reflecting. The more my leadership is about mission and others, the more generosity I grow. And it is a life long journey from selfishness to generosity.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
For selfish leaders, there is a high need for recognition, adulation and the approval of others. Self focus among leaders is a sign of pride and pride is about me and that means it is about selfishness. Generous leaders, on the other hand, love it when others get the praise and they intentionally lift others up. Selfish leaders lift themselves up while generous leaders lift others up.
In like manner, generous leaders look out for the well being of their staff while selfish leaders look out for the well being of themselves. How we interact with and treat staff is a clear indicator of our generosity or selfishness. Those who marginalize, mistreat or poorly treat staff are not living with generosity. Rather they feel that their leadership position gives them the privilege and authority to treat staff as they like rather than to treat them well. Generous leaders love to serve their staff while selfish leaders love their staff to serve them.
I am also always fascinated by senior leaders who have salaries significantly higher than the next level down. They will tell me, "the board made this decision." Might be, but they make the decision for the levels below them and when there is a significant disparity it reveals a selfishness on the part of the leader who is OK with their privilege and OK with the disparity. It is not uncommon in Christian organizations - or others.
It is a worthwhile exercise for leaders to evaluate their actions and practices against the selfish - generous continuum. With some reflection we may realize that we could be doing better. The further we move toward generosity of spirit, the closer we resemble Jesus. This does not preclude tough decisions or dealing with problematic staff. But even there we can demonstrate either selfishness or generosity.
The more my leadership is about me the more selfishness I am reflecting. The more my leadership is about mission and others, the more generosity I grow. And it is a life long journey from selfishness to generosity.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
The leadership contract: If you lead you signed it whether you know it or not.
Many leaders do not understand that when they agree to lead, manage or supervise others they are entering into an implicit contract. That contract or expectation is that they will lead from personal health, create a healthy culture, empower those they lead, provide clarity and alignment and deal with the barriers (people or otherwise) that prevent their staff from becoming all they can be.
This implicit contract means that our highest priority must be our team and what it will take for the team to be successful. Our own priorities come after this priority. It is no longer about me but it is now about us. When leaders do not understand the implicit leadership contract and attend to it, their leadership suffers and eventually they lose the confidence of their team and their job is at risk. It is one of the reasons some pastors are eventually moved on by their board. The leadership contract was forgotten or ignored.
A key component of that contract is that we will lead from personal health: Spiritual, emotional and relational. Our health or dishealth in these areas will invariably spill over into our professional lives and leadership. How healthy I am as an individual has a very real impact on my staff and my leadership - and yours.
Another component of that contract is that we will help the team accomplish something of significance for the Kingdom. No one wants to waste their lives or squander their gifts. All too often, good staff move on because their leader has not brokered a vision worth pursuing, brought the team into alignment around common purposes or ensured that we are going somewhere significant together. None of this is easy and it is often ignored but when it is, the leadership contract has been broken.
That contract includes giving our staff a voice in matters, leading in a collegial and collaborative style, helping staff get into their sweet spot and lane and creating a transformational staff culture. When ministry staff live and work in a toxic culture or one with significant dysfunction the contract is not being fulfilled.
If we lead anyone you have a leadership contract, spoken or unspoken and those we lead have expectations that matter. We do not deserve to lead if we are unwilling to fulfill that contract. On the other hand, when we do we earn the respect and appreciation of staff who desire to become all that they can be and accomplish something of significance.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
This implicit contract means that our highest priority must be our team and what it will take for the team to be successful. Our own priorities come after this priority. It is no longer about me but it is now about us. When leaders do not understand the implicit leadership contract and attend to it, their leadership suffers and eventually they lose the confidence of their team and their job is at risk. It is one of the reasons some pastors are eventually moved on by their board. The leadership contract was forgotten or ignored.
A key component of that contract is that we will lead from personal health: Spiritual, emotional and relational. Our health or dishealth in these areas will invariably spill over into our professional lives and leadership. How healthy I am as an individual has a very real impact on my staff and my leadership - and yours.
Another component of that contract is that we will help the team accomplish something of significance for the Kingdom. No one wants to waste their lives or squander their gifts. All too often, good staff move on because their leader has not brokered a vision worth pursuing, brought the team into alignment around common purposes or ensured that we are going somewhere significant together. None of this is easy and it is often ignored but when it is, the leadership contract has been broken.
That contract includes giving our staff a voice in matters, leading in a collegial and collaborative style, helping staff get into their sweet spot and lane and creating a transformational staff culture. When ministry staff live and work in a toxic culture or one with significant dysfunction the contract is not being fulfilled.
If we lead anyone you have a leadership contract, spoken or unspoken and those we lead have expectations that matter. We do not deserve to lead if we are unwilling to fulfill that contract. On the other hand, when we do we earn the respect and appreciation of staff who desire to become all that they can be and accomplish something of significance.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Seven grace killers among God's people
A culture of grace is often missing among God's people. And it is a big disconnect for those of us who represent the King of Grace - Jesus. I am talking about the ability and willingness to give one another the benefit of the doubt, accept that others are not perfect and are in need of grace and extending it even as we desire it to be extended to us.
Here are seven common grace killers:
Critical spirits and sharp comments. When we allow ourselves to have critical spirits toward others we set ourselves above them in our attitude and demeanor. When we make sharp comments we compound our error and in essence demean others. Even when it is necessary to have a difficult conversation one can speak graciously with truth and ever conscious of our own issues. All of us live under God's grace which He extends daily. To follow Him is to extend that same grace to others.
Playing the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others. Needing to fix other people's issues is far more about us than it is about them. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict each of us about areas in our lives that need renovation. Sure there are times when we need to talk to others about issues in their lives but we ought to do it with great care. I have found that praying for others is often a far better approach than trying to fix others. God is perfectly capable of getting anyone's attention but He does it with amazing mercy and love.
Expecting others to live by our own convictions. Believers have a wide variety of convictions and practices that fall into the grey zone between what God commands and what He leaves to our conscience. Each of us makes lifestyle choices in those areas where God has not spoken clearly. When we are critical of those who make different choices than we do we are imposing legalism on them and moving from grace to control. We are also again playing the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
This extends to our theology. There are many points of theology - beyond the pillars of what it means to be evangelical that Christians differ on. When I insist that others slice and dice their theology they way I do I am arrogantly suggesting that I have a corner on truth and they do not. What is it in me that does not allow others to come to their own conclusions on issues that are not clear in Scripture? One day we will all stand before God and realize how little we actually knew of Him. Yet we are unable to be flexible with the convictions and practices of others.
Gossip and talking to others about issues rather than to the one we have an issue with. This is a huge grace killer and ubiquitous among God's people. Gossip is no different than writing a critical email and copying it to the world. Its ripples continue on and is a way to lift ourselves up by demeaning others. At its heart it is pure judgement and is from the Evil One rather than the One who gives life (John 10:10). Untold harm is caused to reputations and relationships when we engage in this grace killing behavior.
Assuming ill motives on the part of others. This is a grace killer because we are usually wrong (the motives were not poor) but our assumption about motives (as if we can know the heart of another) causes us to think poorly of them. Grace says that I will not assume the motivation of others because I cannot know it unless they tell me. Giving others the benefit of the doubt is about grace. Only God knows the heart.
Holding on to bitterness and choosing not to forgive. Lack of forgiveness and bitterness is at the root of a great deal of relational dysfunction and critical spirits. It not only kills grace in the relationship but in our own spirits that are poisoned by our refusal to forgive and let go. We become a prisoner of our own bitterness and the poison of that bitterness spreads to others around us. It is our choice to forgive or not to forgive but it is God's command that we do.
Lack of empathy and understanding. It is easy to become impatient and critical of others because we don't understand what they are dealing with in their own lives and we have not taken the time to find out. All of us live with either public or private pain from time to time and our lack of empathy for the issues others struggle with often cause us to be impatient and critical. The truth is that if we had to walk in their shoes we would probably be struggling with some of the same things.
The Fruit of the Spirit is all about grace in our relationships. The fruit of our lower nature is not about grace but about us. In every relationship we have the choice of extending and living out the Grace God extends to us or conversely, choosing the selfish route of judgement and critical spirits.
I would sum up the attributes of grace this way:
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Here are seven common grace killers:
Critical spirits and sharp comments. When we allow ourselves to have critical spirits toward others we set ourselves above them in our attitude and demeanor. When we make sharp comments we compound our error and in essence demean others. Even when it is necessary to have a difficult conversation one can speak graciously with truth and ever conscious of our own issues. All of us live under God's grace which He extends daily. To follow Him is to extend that same grace to others.
Playing the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others. Needing to fix other people's issues is far more about us than it is about them. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict each of us about areas in our lives that need renovation. Sure there are times when we need to talk to others about issues in their lives but we ought to do it with great care. I have found that praying for others is often a far better approach than trying to fix others. God is perfectly capable of getting anyone's attention but He does it with amazing mercy and love.
Expecting others to live by our own convictions. Believers have a wide variety of convictions and practices that fall into the grey zone between what God commands and what He leaves to our conscience. Each of us makes lifestyle choices in those areas where God has not spoken clearly. When we are critical of those who make different choices than we do we are imposing legalism on them and moving from grace to control. We are also again playing the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
This extends to our theology. There are many points of theology - beyond the pillars of what it means to be evangelical that Christians differ on. When I insist that others slice and dice their theology they way I do I am arrogantly suggesting that I have a corner on truth and they do not. What is it in me that does not allow others to come to their own conclusions on issues that are not clear in Scripture? One day we will all stand before God and realize how little we actually knew of Him. Yet we are unable to be flexible with the convictions and practices of others.
Gossip and talking to others about issues rather than to the one we have an issue with. This is a huge grace killer and ubiquitous among God's people. Gossip is no different than writing a critical email and copying it to the world. Its ripples continue on and is a way to lift ourselves up by demeaning others. At its heart it is pure judgement and is from the Evil One rather than the One who gives life (John 10:10). Untold harm is caused to reputations and relationships when we engage in this grace killing behavior.
Assuming ill motives on the part of others. This is a grace killer because we are usually wrong (the motives were not poor) but our assumption about motives (as if we can know the heart of another) causes us to think poorly of them. Grace says that I will not assume the motivation of others because I cannot know it unless they tell me. Giving others the benefit of the doubt is about grace. Only God knows the heart.
Holding on to bitterness and choosing not to forgive. Lack of forgiveness and bitterness is at the root of a great deal of relational dysfunction and critical spirits. It not only kills grace in the relationship but in our own spirits that are poisoned by our refusal to forgive and let go. We become a prisoner of our own bitterness and the poison of that bitterness spreads to others around us. It is our choice to forgive or not to forgive but it is God's command that we do.
Lack of empathy and understanding. It is easy to become impatient and critical of others because we don't understand what they are dealing with in their own lives and we have not taken the time to find out. All of us live with either public or private pain from time to time and our lack of empathy for the issues others struggle with often cause us to be impatient and critical. The truth is that if we had to walk in their shoes we would probably be struggling with some of the same things.
The Fruit of the Spirit is all about grace in our relationships. The fruit of our lower nature is not about grace but about us. In every relationship we have the choice of extending and living out the Grace God extends to us or conversely, choosing the selfish route of judgement and critical spirits.
I would sum up the attributes of grace this way:
- I will be slow to judge and criticize
- I will be patient and forbearing with others
- In my words and attitudes I will seek to encourage and lift up rather than discourage and tear down
- I will not judge motives
- I will forgive easily
- I will allow the Holy Spirit to convict others rather than playing that role myself
- I will be empathetic and understanding
- I will seek to display the Fruit of the Spirit in all of my relationships and interactions
- I will choose to assume the best
- I will refrain from gossip
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Why so many leadership development efforts fail
Developing leaders is a passion for many of us. But the truth is that often, our efforts are not nearly as successful as they should be. I would suggest that there are some reasons for this that we need to grapple with and understand.
Leadership development is not primarily about a classroom experience but that is often how we approach it. In fact, I would go so far as to say that most good leadership is caught rather than taught but that goes against the grain of our western educational model which is content heavy. There is no better way to understand good leadership than to see it in action from another good leader. Doing ministry with someone is far better than doing it alone because it gives us an opportunity to have life on life influence. While there are skills and concepts that can be taught, seeing them in action is far more powerful.
Leadership development cannot be outsourced to a staff member: leaders themselves must be actively involved in the process. When people see senior leaders involved in the process of developing younger leaders they pay attention and are far more likely to do the same. When we outsource leadership development to "a staff member" we effectively indicate that it is not important enough for us to get involved. We may need a plan and logistical support but whenever leadership and development efforts do not have the full attention and participation of senior leaders they are likely to be less successful than they could be.
Leadership development that is not backed up by the actual practices and values of the organization will get little traction. People pay attention to what leaders do far more than to what leaders espouse. Perhaps we are jaded by the many values and commitments communicated that are not actually lived out in practice. What is refreshing is to see leaders living out the ethos and culture they talk about. Again, good leadership is more caught than taught.
Leadership development that does not give people a chance to try things and even fail is unlikely to be very fruitful. Most organizations and ministries are failure adverse. Yet if we don't bomb on a few things it is likely that we are not trying very many new ideas. Furthermore, how else do people learn than through trying things and even failing when a plan does not work. Others watch carefully when plans go awry to see if there is grace extended or not. If there is not, there is a high likelihood that others will be cautious rather than bold. Young leaders do fail at some things - even established leaders do.
Leadership development that does not include a significant opportunity for dialogue and discussion is likely to be far less effective than we would desire. This is why simply giving someone a book to read or a class to attend is not likely to produce a good leader. However, development efforts that are rich in dialogue and conversation with proven leaders is far more apt to get you to where you want to go. Dialogue creates far greater understanding than simply sharing information.
Leadership development efforts that are a "one off" are unlikely to be very effective. Leadership development is a process rather than an event. It takes place over time in the company of good leaders. The process gives one time to absorb, understand, see it practiced and even try it themselves. Events can add a piece to the puzzle but in themselves are insufficient to develop really good leadership.
Leadership development efforts that do not pay adequate attention to the inner life of a leader are unlikely to yield healthy leaders. The spiritual, emotional and relational health of leaders is a fundamental requirement for good leadership. If our primary attention is on leadership skills or techniques to the expense of the inner life of a leader we are actually sabotaging ourselves. There is no good leadership without healthy leaders.
All of this presupposes that we are actually serious about developing our leadership bench and that we have a serious plan to get there. The vast majority of Christian organizations I work with do not. Our organization has made it a high priority because we know that we are only as strong as the leadership bench we have.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
What is the most important issue in leadership development?
Recently I was mulling on Paul's leadership development of Timothy and did a quick look at the kinds of things that he pressed into in his two letters to him. The key issues revolved around these kinds of topics: faithfulness; godliness; being an example; character; boldness; fidelity to the Word along with just plain practical advice. What stuck me once again was that the core of leadership is first what is inside rather than leadership skills themselves. The latter is important but without the former, there is no good leadership.
As I write in my latest book, Deep Influence, we spend too much time in leadership on technique and not nearly enough time on issues of the inner life of a leader. For those of us who lead and mentor others, it is a reminder of how critical the health of our inner life is: spiritual, emotional and relational. Whatever dysfunctions we carry do spill over in unconscious ways in our leadership.
Leadership failures are not usually for lack of skill but for lack of a healthy inner life. In fact, those we lead will put up with a lot if our character and example is one of health and integrity. When that is not present there is little patience. The best leaders I know put a great deal of attention on their own inner health. Both because they desire the greatest personal health possible as well as recognizing the consequences to others if they do not.
Everyone who leads ought to have a plan for personal development. They also need people around them who can help them understand where they need to grow. We often don't see it ourselves but those around us do. This takes time but it is the best time we could ever spend and those we lead will thank us for it.
The time factor is probably what keeps this from happening more often than it should. Leaders are busy and the more success we find the busier we often are - to our own detriment. If we don't feed the core, we will see leakage in the inner life. And that will spill over into our leadership. How much time we devote to our inner lives is a pretty good indication of our priority to become and remain personally healthy.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
As I write in my latest book, Deep Influence, we spend too much time in leadership on technique and not nearly enough time on issues of the inner life of a leader. For those of us who lead and mentor others, it is a reminder of how critical the health of our inner life is: spiritual, emotional and relational. Whatever dysfunctions we carry do spill over in unconscious ways in our leadership.
Leadership failures are not usually for lack of skill but for lack of a healthy inner life. In fact, those we lead will put up with a lot if our character and example is one of health and integrity. When that is not present there is little patience. The best leaders I know put a great deal of attention on their own inner health. Both because they desire the greatest personal health possible as well as recognizing the consequences to others if they do not.
Everyone who leads ought to have a plan for personal development. They also need people around them who can help them understand where they need to grow. We often don't see it ourselves but those around us do. This takes time but it is the best time we could ever spend and those we lead will thank us for it.
The time factor is probably what keeps this from happening more often than it should. Leaders are busy and the more success we find the busier we often are - to our own detriment. If we don't feed the core, we will see leakage in the inner life. And that will spill over into our leadership. How much time we devote to our inner lives is a pretty good indication of our priority to become and remain personally healthy.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
The very real existential threat of ISIS which if not confronted may come to a community near you!
When I first wrote about the ISIS threat I received responses that the atrocities I reported could not be happening. Unfortunately they have continued, the most recent being the burning alive of a Jordanian pilot and the beheadings of 21 Coptic Christians in Libya. Both on video for all the world to see. I have watched both videos not out of any prurient interest but out of respect for those killed and in order to confront the evil ISIS represents in a personal way. The waves of the Mediterranean turned red with the blood of those killed in Libya. The video represented itself as a warning to all those who live under the banner of the cross. It is a threat to all those who follow Jesus as well as others.
Recent comments by the American administration indicate that ISIS does not constitute an "existential threat" to America and the world. I beg to differ. It constitutes one of the largest threats to mankind ever, and if left to grow and multiply it will bring its evil not only to those who live in the Middle East and Africa (who we are allowing to suffer and die by the thousands) but to the doorsteps of many other nations. It is not so much a political threat as it is the naked face of the pit of hell being unleashed on a world that seems to be largely unconcerned about its real intention - to destroy and kill those who don't agree with their version of Islam. It is John 10:10 exposed for all the world to see - "The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy."
The civilized world has a responsibility to respond to this naked evil. This is no small skirmish but a declaration of war on Christians and others with the most gruesome killing of men, women and children made in God's image. We ignored Rwanda and had to apologize. How can the world ignore ISIS. Some evil is so raw and primitive that it must be confronted and destroyed. If we do not, it will confront and destroy much of what we consider to be precious to us.
I suspect that kidnappings for ransom or for propaganda deaths will grow and that missionaries working in hard to reach places will be casualties. But their deaths are no more precious than the deaths of these 21 Coptic believers or the Jordanian pilot who I presume was Muslim. This is evil and evil cannot be ignored, especially when it sets itself up against the peace and security of our world, the Jewish nation, those who believe in the Cross of Jesus and then those who simply don't fit their brand of Islam. If the world had the responsibility to confront Hitler and the Nazis it has the responsibility to confront ISIS and its expanding ilk whether in the Middle East or Africa.
How many deaths will it take until the world gets serious about the evil that ISIS represents? Americans, Japanese, Syrians, Africans, Jordanians, Iraqis, Turks, French, English and others have died. How many more will die before we realize that the existential threat does exist and it is the face of evil. The naked face of evil.
(Written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Recent comments by the American administration indicate that ISIS does not constitute an "existential threat" to America and the world. I beg to differ. It constitutes one of the largest threats to mankind ever, and if left to grow and multiply it will bring its evil not only to those who live in the Middle East and Africa (who we are allowing to suffer and die by the thousands) but to the doorsteps of many other nations. It is not so much a political threat as it is the naked face of the pit of hell being unleashed on a world that seems to be largely unconcerned about its real intention - to destroy and kill those who don't agree with their version of Islam. It is John 10:10 exposed for all the world to see - "The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy."
The civilized world has a responsibility to respond to this naked evil. This is no small skirmish but a declaration of war on Christians and others with the most gruesome killing of men, women and children made in God's image. We ignored Rwanda and had to apologize. How can the world ignore ISIS. Some evil is so raw and primitive that it must be confronted and destroyed. If we do not, it will confront and destroy much of what we consider to be precious to us.
I suspect that kidnappings for ransom or for propaganda deaths will grow and that missionaries working in hard to reach places will be casualties. But their deaths are no more precious than the deaths of these 21 Coptic believers or the Jordanian pilot who I presume was Muslim. This is evil and evil cannot be ignored, especially when it sets itself up against the peace and security of our world, the Jewish nation, those who believe in the Cross of Jesus and then those who simply don't fit their brand of Islam. If the world had the responsibility to confront Hitler and the Nazis it has the responsibility to confront ISIS and its expanding ilk whether in the Middle East or Africa.
How many deaths will it take until the world gets serious about the evil that ISIS represents? Americans, Japanese, Syrians, Africans, Jordanians, Iraqis, Turks, French, English and others have died. How many more will die before we realize that the existential threat does exist and it is the face of evil. The naked face of evil.
(Written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Monday, February 16, 2015
The debt of thanks we owe to those who helped make us who we are
I received a delightful card recently. It said something like this: "today is my fiftieth birthday and I am writing to 50 individuals who have helped me become what I am. You have been a blessing to me and influenced me. Thank you." It was a blessing to receive both because of the thoughtfulness of the note and because it is a rare occurrence. Too often we live under the illusion that we got to where we are by ourselves. That is never true. Countless people have influenced us along the way and the more we realize that the more we have to thank God for. And those who invested in us!
Recently I sat down and made a list of all those who have positively influenced my life and it was a long list. These are people who have believed in me, encouraged me along the way in the journey or whose character and life have rubbed off on me. As I contemplated that list I was humbled and realized again that we grow and flourish in community as Bonhoeffer so eloquently wrote about. Those who remain insular are those who lose out on this wonderful blessing.
We run the race that is life with a group of wonderful fellow pilgrims. We ought to be ever conscious of how we can encourage and help them and conscious of how they wonderfully impact our own lives. And rather than taking it for granted, lets acknowledge their contribution to our lives and seek to make one to theirs. Whether we know it or not, our lives are the accumulation of those who have blessed us along the way. We do not stand alone but with so many who have walked the journey with us.
And so, Walt, Susan, Carol, Grant, Ken, Barb, Mom, Dad, Tom, Kevin, Gary, Brian, Daryl, Dave, Jeff, Mary Ann...... thank you.
(Written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Recently I sat down and made a list of all those who have positively influenced my life and it was a long list. These are people who have believed in me, encouraged me along the way in the journey or whose character and life have rubbed off on me. As I contemplated that list I was humbled and realized again that we grow and flourish in community as Bonhoeffer so eloquently wrote about. Those who remain insular are those who lose out on this wonderful blessing.
We run the race that is life with a group of wonderful fellow pilgrims. We ought to be ever conscious of how we can encourage and help them and conscious of how they wonderfully impact our own lives. And rather than taking it for granted, lets acknowledge their contribution to our lives and seek to make one to theirs. Whether we know it or not, our lives are the accumulation of those who have blessed us along the way. We do not stand alone but with so many who have walked the journey with us.
And so, Walt, Susan, Carol, Grant, Ken, Barb, Mom, Dad, Tom, Kevin, Gary, Brian, Daryl, Dave, Jeff, Mary Ann...... thank you.
(Written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Releasing our shame and stepping into God's destiny for us
I recently received an email from a dear friend who had been asked to speak at an event and was struggling with doubt that they were qualified to be on stage, talking about the subject. It is not that they are a poor speaker or don't know the subject. It was inner doubt about whether they were truly worthy to address the audience. They verbalized to me (asking for prayer) what many of us struggle with: we do not feel worthy to represent Jesus. We don't feel worthy because we live with various versions of shame. Shame for what we have done, shame that we will never be good enough, shame that we are not worthy. Shame that we will never be good enough.
That shame sometimes comes from our family of origin where we were given the message that we will never amount to anything. It can come from sin in our past that we believe disqualifies us from being used by God. It can also be the whisper of Satan telling us that we are unworthy. And in case you doubt he would say this, remember that he is called the father of lies and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) while Jesus comes to bring life and life abundant. Satan specializes in shame while Jesus specializes in freedom from shame though his death on our behalf. Satan floods us with shame while Jesus releases us from shame. Satan says you are not worthy. Jesus says, you are fully worthy because of me.
Here is the truth. None of us are worthy in ourselves to represent Jesus but Jesus has made us fully worthy through His son Jesus. But if he has made us worthy he has also made us "fully worthy." He has released us from all sin and shame and inadequacy for He is our adequacy. We literally walk and live in His divine AMEN on our lives. His face is turned toward us and His smile is upon us. There is no shame in His presence for those who have been redeemed and forgiven. There is only freedom and joy and blessing.
Each of us struggle with some version of shame. Jesus wants to release all of that. Satan says you have no destiny. Jesus says you have an amazing destiny. The former is a lie while the latter - through Jesus - is absolute truth. Satan wants us to hold back fearful of our destiny. Jesus wants us to fully step in the destiny He handcrafted for us (Ephesians 2:10).
Don't let shame hold you back. Release it to Jesus and step fully into your destiny. It is His destiny for you.
(written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
That shame sometimes comes from our family of origin where we were given the message that we will never amount to anything. It can come from sin in our past that we believe disqualifies us from being used by God. It can also be the whisper of Satan telling us that we are unworthy. And in case you doubt he would say this, remember that he is called the father of lies and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) while Jesus comes to bring life and life abundant. Satan specializes in shame while Jesus specializes in freedom from shame though his death on our behalf. Satan floods us with shame while Jesus releases us from shame. Satan says you are not worthy. Jesus says, you are fully worthy because of me.
Here is the truth. None of us are worthy in ourselves to represent Jesus but Jesus has made us fully worthy through His son Jesus. But if he has made us worthy he has also made us "fully worthy." He has released us from all sin and shame and inadequacy for He is our adequacy. We literally walk and live in His divine AMEN on our lives. His face is turned toward us and His smile is upon us. There is no shame in His presence for those who have been redeemed and forgiven. There is only freedom and joy and blessing.
Each of us struggle with some version of shame. Jesus wants to release all of that. Satan says you have no destiny. Jesus says you have an amazing destiny. The former is a lie while the latter - through Jesus - is absolute truth. Satan wants us to hold back fearful of our destiny. Jesus wants us to fully step in the destiny He handcrafted for us (Ephesians 2:10).
Don't let shame hold you back. Release it to Jesus and step fully into your destiny. It is His destiny for you.
(written from Hua Hin, Thailand)
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Quick links and index to all of my blogs on church boards and governance
High Impact Church Boards and Leading From The Sandbox are both back in print
For organizations or churches who order either of these books for their board or staff I offer a free Skype meeting to discuss questions or principles.
Church boards who live with their heads in the sand
Pastors, staff and board members who use inappropriate language, emotions and actions
Eight reasons that boards do not address known issues of a senior leader
A dialogue between TJ Addington and Tony Morgan of the Unstuck Group on church governance
Signs that leaders are leading from a posture of fear and insecurity
A YouTube video that illustrates much church leadership
Some of the worst things leaders can do when there is controversy or conflict in the church
Congregational meetings and church health
The use of church discipline to control people or shut down discussion in the church
Nine church board mistakes I have been seeing lately - from Tony Morgan
15 unfortunate things boards do
Why boards can be so frustrating to serve on and how to solve it
Passive boards and controlling boards: Both are dangerous
Dumb things church boards do
Practices of healthy boards
Big rocks, pebbles and sand
Signs of a dysfunctional church board
Signs of healthy and unhealthy boards
When board members don't get their way
When boards are unable to police their own
Conflict and problem avoidance create sick churches
Choosing and preparing new board members
Church board development
The failure of church boards to realistically evaluate ministries they oversee
Church boards and church culture
Violations of good board behavior that kill good governance
Healthy board/pastor relationships in the church
Church renovation
Undiscerning church boards: A case study
Should a church be run like a business
Church boards and fear
Church culture trumps everything
Church boards and failure of courage
Staff and board relationships in the local church: What is healthy and what is unhealthy
Split boards, split congregations
The profile of an effective church leader
9 Principles for healthy governance in the church
Eight kinds of people who should not serve on a church board
Every congregation is one leadership board away from trouble and decline
When leadership boards become the barrier to church growth
Rethinking leadership selection in the church
Church board self assessment: 15 questions
Guard the gate to your church leadership
Boards that are not united and don't face reality
Antiquated church governance systems that hurt the mission of the church
Our church governance systems do matter!
Four key church board documents
What boards and pastors need to know about each other
Operate without a church board covenant at your risk
A failure of nerve
Bold or timid church leadership
When board members allow friendship and relationship to overshadow their governance role
When should a church change their governance system?
Board members and their intellectual capacity
Courageous church leaders
Church leadership and trust
Effective churches have pastors and boards with a bias toward strategic action
Empowering pastors
Spiritual discernment in ministry leadership
Signs that your church board needs renovation
When elephants fight the grass gets trampled
Ten marks of a united church leadership board
The five dysfunctions of ministry organizations
When everyone is in charge no one is in charge
Should church staff serve on the elder/leadership board?
Why boards must always speak with one voice
Interminable board meetings
Churches and group think
Paying greater attention to gifting when it comes to those we put into church leadership
Not ready, proceed slow, lets go: When leaders resist change!
Is your church more missional or institutional?
Board evaluation
Toxic team and board members
I cannot find good leaders for my church
Unspoken board discussions
Checks and balances in church leadership
Proactive or reactive leadership
Ministry accelerators and anchors
"I knew I should have said something."
The dysfunction of control in ministry organizations
Leadership board time outs for reflection
Dealing with organizational elephants
Choosing the right leaders in your church: You get what you deserve.
The biggest favor you can do for your pastor and your church
Want to grow your staff/leadership board?
Candid discourse among church leaders
Four skill sets every team and board can profit from
Who is best qualified to serve as an elder or church leader?
Rethinking the relationship between pastors and lay leaders
Continuing the question as to whether staff should serve on the elder board
Does your church have a meaningful job description for your senior pastor?
Policy governance in the church: An overview
Willow Creek and governance lessons: A watershed moment
Help your board do self-evaluation of their work with seven evaluative statements
Seven personal behaviors for the best board work
Why boards need to change as an organization grows
How do you measure the success of your organization?
If your board needs help, I can help
Five simple principles for governance in churches and non-profits
With over thirty years of working with boards I am available to help your board be the best they can be. Whether remotely using technology or in person, together we can make substantial strides toward healthier and more missional board work.
As the author of High Impact Church Boards I have worked with thousands of board members to ensure that the right people end up on an organizations board, that the board is intentional in its work and that the culture of the leadership system is empowering rather than controlling. Cost is kept to a minimum by using technology like Go To Meeting, or I can join you in person for governance training or retreats.
I can be contacted at tjaddington@gmail.com or 615.840.1676. I look forward to talking to and working with those who desire to raise the level of their board's effectiveness.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Interview with Steve Hayner of InterVarsity and Columbia Seminary: People tend to die like they've lived.
Died: Steve Hayner, Former President of InterVarsity and Columbia Seminary
"As a pastor I’ve observed that people tend to die like they’ve lived. Most people will face death in the same way they have faced other things in their lives. Anyone who knows you or Sharol would say this process feels as though this is exactly how you would go through this time."
Steve Hayner interview
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
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