Those who lead set the pace!

Leaders set the standards in their ministries, team leaders for their teams, parents for their children, volunteers for those they oversee, church leaders for their congregations. All of us who lead anything set the culture, ethos, attitudes and standards for others on our team. And most all of us do lead something or someone!


Don't underestimate the importance of this responsibility! Both the health and dishealth of families, teams and organizations can often (not always) be traced back to the example set by its leaders. Think about these areas that directly impact the health of a team.


Attitude toward leadership and authority. When leaders display cynicism toward those they are accountable to, their attitudes are picked up by those they lead who often develop similar attitudes. When leaders are respectful of those who lead them, others will be as well. Pastors, for instance who are critical of their boards breed the same attitude in their staff while those who are supportive and respectful communicate a healthy attitude. Our attitude toward authority is easily read by those we lead.


Words matter. Our choice of words, our use of them, whether they are critical or constructive, kind or harsh, respectful or disrespectful communicate a great deal to those we lead. Careless words reflect careless thinking and often careless relationships. Our words, according to Jesus, also reflect the state of our hearts. There is much in Scripture about gossip, slander, harsh and unkind words, anger and nonconstructive talk. The vocabulary, content and attitudes of our conversation and communication convey a standard for those we influence and lead.


Behavior communicates. I am often amazed at the behaviors of leaders in the ministry arena: uncontrolled anger, defensiveness, inability to disagree in an agreeable way, yelling, threats, lack of approachability. Often I see behaviors in ministry that would be grounds for discipline or termination in the business world. Certainly such behaviors are contrary to the attitude, teaching and modeling of Christ. One of the marks of leaders in the church is that they are "self controlled" - the ability to monitor and control our emotions and behaviors - especially those that are unhealthy and get us into trouble. Our behaviors set the tone for a healthy or unhealthy environment. Jesus is our model and example.


Relational health. All ministry is based on relationships and the health of the relationships of leaders again sets the tone for the kinds of relationships others will develop. Relational health includes the ability to be self defined and accept differing views, to stay connected with people we may disagree with, to seek the best for others and to genuinely care for them. Relational dishealth includes marginalizing those who disagree with us, being threatened by strong leaders, lack of openness to the feedback of others (defensiveness), or the inability to work collaboratively. Relational health on teams is almost always a reflection of the relational health of leaders. Jesus never used or abused people. He saw each one as people made in the image of God and treated them in that light. 


Standards for behaviors, attitudes, words, and relationships are not set by policies. They are ultimately set by the example of leaders. No policy is more powerful than the example of leaders. No leaders can hold staff responsible for behaviors that they themselves do not adhere to. On those rare occasions when I have had to talk to a staff member about one of these issues, I will ask the question: "Have I ever treated you this way?" My point is twofold: first that you have not seen me behave this way toward you and I am your leader and second, I have the moral authority to keep the bar high if I do so for myself. It is my responsibility as a leader. And yours.

Angry leaders

Consider this scenario. A ministry leader walks up to one of his staffers in a group of individuals, points his finger at his chest and says,  "I am in charge here and don't ever tell (name withheld) what they can or cannot do." 


What has just happened? The leader has used his anger as a means of power, control and intimidation and done so in a public manner. Whether or not he had reason to confront the other staff member is not the issue. The way he did it was wrong.


There are a segment of leaders in ministry and business who lead out of anger. Those who work for them know that if they cross them, they will face the wrath of the leader. It may be in the form of a threat (I could fire you), in the form of an angry response (Don't ever cross me again), in the form of marginalization (those who are not for me are against me), or in the form of embarrassment (like the example above where there is a public rebuke). Raised voices, high emotion, inability to dialogue, pronouncements of what you will or will not do, clear anger and implied threats are all part of leading by anger. There are many other examples but the key principle is that the leader is using anger as a means of holding power over others, controlling others or intimidating others.


Often times staff members are not immediately aware that their leader is using anger to control them. What they feel is an uneasiness with the leadership style they are experiencing. Here are some of the warning signs that their leader is leading out of anger.


Staff feel like they are walking on eggshells around their leader. Fear of a leader's response is a clear indicator of leading by fear. Staff members are careful about what they say, how they say it and often simply keep silent because they don't want to be the subject of the leader's wrath. Often in these situations staff do not know which of their leader's personalities will show up on any given day.


A leader often lets staff know who is "in charge." Those who lead from anger often use their leadership "authority" to control and manipulate their staff. Subtle or not so subtle reminders of their authority communicates to the staff that they better "toe the line" of whatever the leader desires or become the subject of their anger. 


Anger surfaces when one tries to discuss with the leader behaviors that are unhealthy or issues that the leader feels strongly about. It is not uncommon for staff members to try to talk with leaders who lead out of anger about behaviors that hurt them or the team. What they typically get is a predictable angry response along with a reminder of who is in charge or, defensiveness tinged with irritation. If this becomes a pattern, you know you have a very unhealthy leader on your hands.


A leader divides people into two categories: those who are for them (friends) and those who are against them (enemies). Those who lead from anger, by nature see people as either for them or against them. By definition, those who are for them agree with them and don't cross them while those who disagree with them and cross them are moved to the "enemy" camp. Thus angry leaders build two camps: friends and enemies and you are in one or the other and there is no in between. Often, a staff member who starts out as a friend ends up as an enemy when they find their voice and start to stand up to their leader.


There is a bully factor to the leader. Angry leaders need to have their own way and will use whatever tactics they need to in order to achieve it. It can be a tactic of power (I can fire you) or a tactic of manipulation (I should just resign) or something else but it is manipulation to achieve their ends. Sometimes it is ingratiating (I am so glad I can trust you unlike the others) or the opposite (I am starting to question your effectiveness and loyalty). Whatever the tactic, staff members leave their interactions with a vague feeling that they have been used, manipulated or bullied into line.


Angry leaders are are very hard to please. Angry leaders are often driven leaders whose primary concern is how they look, how their ministry succeeds and when  their expectations are not met you know it! Because life and ministry is about them, anyone who does not contribute to their success by their definition is marginalized, criticized or even discarded. Whenever there is high staff turnover one needs to turn over the rocks and look underneath to determine why. When there is a history of staff leaving or being terminated it is a clue that not all is right. 


Angry leaders lack humility and often display arrogance. Angry leaders are rarely collegial but believe that they have the answers. They often make strong statements about people (often unkind) and situations. Because they are not open to feedback and dialogue when it does not agree with their conclusions it is difficult if not impossible to change their minds. Anger and arrogance are twins.


Here is what one needs to know about leaders who lead from anger. They are deeply unhealthy individuals who create a toxic environment for staff and therefore for the church or organization they lead. Their anger stems from deep and unresolved personal issues and at their core they are deeply insecure people who get their security from their ability to control others. It is a no win situation for staff because they will not change the equation by confronting the behaviors - in fact confrontation brings out the worst. And, the lack of emotional health in the leader will infect the rest of the organization.


The obvious question is what does one do? If you are a board member who sees these kinds of behaviors you have a responsibility to ensure that your leader gets help. Your responsibility is to ensure health in the organization and this is a major sign of dishealth. Even though boards like to give their senior leader the benefit of the doubt, unacceptable behaviors must be dealt with.  If you are a staff member caught in this situation and see no hope of change, I would leave before the dishealth of the leader creates discouragement and cynicism in you that compromises your future ministry. If those who have the authority to act (boards) do not, take charge of your own life before you are hurt and compromised.


I am always puzzled why boards, who often know of deep issues in a senior leader do not confront them, require them to get help and if the behaviors continue fire them. We allow behaviors in the church and in Christian organizations that even the secular world would consider unacceptable and beyond the pale. There are toxic workplaces that exist right under the noses of boards who either are clueless or choose to ignore it. In the process they hurt staff, ministry effectiveness and the constituency they serve. 

Our habits and a long view of life

Living in the "instant" world of the west where we love immediate results, quick fixes and instant gratification, we often forget that the Christian life is a marathon rather than a sprint and that long term results are the product of long term rather than short term thinking. The Apostle Paul talks about "running the race with our eyes fixed on the prize." He also often speaks of endurance and perseverance. Eugene Peterson rightly called it a "long obedience in the same direction."


The key to a long view of life is the development of habits that will sustain us over the long haul. Habits are long term disciplines or practices rather than short term "resolutions." They form a personal frame or infrastructure that the rest of life connects to. Just as the hidden steel frame of a large building holds all the component parts together, so the habits we develop are the invisible underpinnings of our lives which everything else is connected to and influenced by.


There is good news and bad news in this. The bad news is that unhealthy habits have long term ramifications for our lives if not corrected since our life infrastructure touches everything else. That is why it is so important to deal with sinful habits rather than to ignore or nurture them. But the good news is that the development of healthy habits has long term healthy ramifications and gives us the means of going the distance well and living out that "long obedience in the same direction:" in the power of the Holy Spirit. And, it is never too late to develop new and healthy habits.


Practices become habits when they are practiced long enough that they become second nature. For instance, many people have a habit of spending money they don't really have thanks to the ease of using a credit card. That habit over the long term leads to a life of debt and dependence on others. Others never spend what they don't have. They have practiced a healthy discipline long enough that it is second nature to them. Over the long term it leads to financial health.


Habits we form in our marriages determine the quality of our relationship with our spouse. Habits in our devotional lives form the quality of our relationship with God. Habits in our professional life form the quality of our work. Habits in our hidden life form the quality of our moral architecture. Habits in our relation to our health form the foundation for good or poor health. In every instance, habits contribute either to long term health or to long term dysfunction. 


Studies have shown that our long term practices or habits actually cause changes to our brain. The reason new habits are hard to develop is that our brain is trained to respond in an alternative way (like the urge to purchase on credit). Every time we engage in a certain practice, our brain chemistry strengthens the chemical connections that encourage that particular behavior. The good news is that we can retrain our brain with the practice of new habits which in the long term sustains us in that practice. 


As we think about our lives we ought to be aware of the habits that underlie our actions. Which are healthy and helpful? Which are problematic and hurtful? Which are pleasing to God and which are not? In relation to the former, working hard on making these central to our lives becomes our goal and as to the latter, they become those things that the New Testament says we need to "take off" and discard. 


When Paul talks about old things to take off and new things to put on (see Ephesians 4-5 for instance) he is talking about practices which are habits. The old are destructive and the new reflect the character of Christ. When we cooperate with the Holy Spirit, He gives us the ability to discard the old and put on the new.  Remember these habits are the invisible framework that make up our lives and contribute either to a long and healthy view of life or a dysfunctional view of life.

Don't rob people of the joy of worship

One of the temptations, particularly as churches grow, is to professionalize worship to a place where it is about the "excellence" of the performance on stage, perfect timing, awesome acoustics and providing an " unforgettable experience" each week. I know pastors who actually become angry or anxious at any "imperfections" in the service. Appearances and performance can start to mean everything.


What easily gets lost in all this is that worship is not about a performance but about helping people express their love, appreciation and commitment to the Lord of Lords who is holy, righteous, loving, merciful and faithful. It is both an individual and corporate expression of worship of the Almighty God. It is deeply personal and by nature must be participatory. It is not about who is on stage, but about the hearts of the congregation as they lift their voices and prayer and thoughts to their Heavenly Father. In fact, anything that happens up front that detracts from the congregation joining in personal, corporate and authentic worship is counter to the purpose of worship.


Good worship leaders both plan the service carefully and are sensitive to the Holy Spirit when He breaks in and changes the plan. Worship that never deviates from the plan is worship that is not sensitive to what the Holy Spirit might be doing in the service and among His people. After all, why should He not respond to the worship of His people? And what if He desires that the service go more than the allotted number of minutes? God cannot be boxed in and when He is, we are the ones who suffer.


And what about simplicity on occasion? A simple hymn, a quiet meditation, the scriptural and theological integrity of good liturgy where we recite Scripture and truth to God as they did in the early church, reminding ourselves of the basics of our faith. Or times when we are still and silent before God echoing the Psalmist who said "Be still and know that I am God."


My observation is that many of us have a deep hunger to worship God rather than to attend a performance about God. Our hearts are often parched from the stresses of the week and they need the living water of His truth, the encouragement of His promises and the opportunity to freely sing and pray to the One who is our ultimate Hope and greatest joy. Anything that distracts from that opportunity gets in the way of our hearts being refilled for the week ahead. Never rob people of the joy of worship. It is about God, not about us, it is about the congregation lifting God up, not about those who are in front. Their job is to make it easy for the rest to spend time in His presence. 

A prayer for the new year

Father God

You are the Author of history

and the Redeemer in my life story.

I thank You for Your great faithfulness in this past year

and ask for Your personal presence in the coming year.

Savior,

grant to me faith to follow You well,

courage to go where you call me,

the ability to love others well

and to live generously always.

Jesus,

give me a heart

 that looks increasingly like Your heart

so that others see You in me

and attract them to You.

Emmanuel,

I pray for the expansion of your Kingdom worldwide

that Your will would be done on earth

as it is in heaven.

May Your glory cover the earth

as the waters cover the sea

until all have have heard Your name
and Your reputation is lifted high.

Holy Spirit,

give me ears to hear your words

and discernment to follow Your ways.

Be my Counselor and Teacher

each day.

Father,

may I glorify You

as Jesus glorified You

and please you

in all that I do.

Amen

Certified: Pure for God!

It is a huge story in Jerusalem. 



 (Reuters) - Israeli archaeologists said on Sunday they had found a 2,000-year-old clay seal near Jerusalem's Western Wall, confirming written accounts of ritual practices in the biblical Jewish Temple.
The button-shaped object bears the Aramaic words "pure for God," suggesting it was used to certify food and animals used in sacrificial ceremonies.
The Western Wall is part of the compound revered by Jews as the Temple Mount, where Islam's al-Aqsa mosque and Dome of the Rock shrine now stand in a holy complex Muslims call the Noble Sanctuary.
"It seems that the inscribed object was used to mark products or objects that were brought to the Temple, and it was imperative they be ritually pure," the Israel Antiquities Authority said in a statement announcing the find.
The authority said it believed it was the first time such a seal had been excavated, providing direct archaeological evidence of ritual activity in the temple described in ancient texts.


The book of Leviticus is often overlooked because of its emphasis on the moral, civil and ceremonial law. For instance, in the instructions regarding sacrifices one reads this: "You must present a male without defect from the cattle, sheep or goats in order that it may be accepted on your behalf. Do not bring anything with a defect, because it will not be accepted on your behalf (Leviticus 22:19-20)."  


The moral, civil and ceremonial law covered all aspects of life: marriage, worship, personal purity, sexual purity, and relationships. They were a constant reminder to the Israelites that all of life is sacred to God, and there is no distinction between the sacred and secular! Every aspect of life is to be lived in light of God's holiness and purity. In fact, the prevailing theme through the book of Leviticus is "Keep my commands and follow them. I am the Lord. Do not profane my holy name. I must be acknowledged as holy by the Israelites. I am the Lord who makes you holy and who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the Lord (Leviticus 22:31-33)."


This is why all sacrifices to the Lord had to be certified as "pure for God" as was written on the clay seal found in Jerusalem.


The constant theme in Leviticus in the moral, ceremonial and civil law is the holiness of God and the call for us to emulate that holiness. This theme is picked up often in the New Testament. Paul tells us "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)."


In a world that screams impurity, selfish living, offers many false gods and lifts up materialism as the ultimate goal, we need to ask ourselves if our hearts are certified as pure for God. Is this our goal and are we cooperating with the Holy Spirit to see this become a reality in our lives? 


We need this reminder every day!

His mercies are new every morning

In every situation we face in life, we have two choices: to focus on our issues and problems or to focus on God's mercy and faithfulness. Which we focus on determines our attitude, response and faith. 


We often sing the great hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness but many do not know the origins of that hymn. The year was about 586 BC and the Babylonians had just conquered Judah, destroyed the city, torn down the wall, decimated the temple and carried most of the population into captivity. 


The prophet Jeremiah is wandering through the wreckage of what had been Jerusalem, now a burned, destroyed hulk of a city. There was nothing to be joyful about. The sin of the people had brought the judgement of God after many warnings. So distraught was Jeremiah that the short book he wrote is called Lamentations meaning sorrows.


But in the middle of that song of sorrow, Jeremiah makes this profound statement:

Yet, this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love

we are not consumed, 

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion,

therefore I will wait for him."

(Lamentations 3:21-24)

There is a reason the hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness, is sung at funerals and in seasons of turmoil. Like Jeremiah this is when we most need to remember and trust in the faithfulness of God. 

Whatever our situation today. However discouraging it may be. However great our anxiety or sorrow we can say with Jeremiah, "Great is your faithfulness" and allow that to be the basis of our hope, our trust, and a better future. Not only that but "His compassions never fail and are new every morning." There is no new day we face where we do not experience the mercies and compassions of our faithful father.

What would you do differently this coming year if you knew it was your last year?

It is easy to live life on autopilot with little introspection as to the direction and the impact of our lives. As this year comes to a close think about this: God just gave us another year of grace - as every year and every day is. It is a year we will never get back and it becomes one more chapter in the record of our lives. I now have nearly 56 chapters completed. Each one is full of God's goodness and grace. How many more chapters I or you have is unknown. All the more reason to live this coming year thoughtfully and intentionally.


Those who live with serious illness or who have experienced one know the value of each new day and the gift it represents. They also know that life is not to be wasted or squandered through an unexamined life. In fact, life changing events are often the shock to our system that reminds us that we are mortal, life has limits and time is precious.


As you look toward the coming year, think of it as one of the chapters of the book that will someday represent your life. What do you want this chapter of your life to say? What will it say about your relationship with Jesus, your life priorities, your generosity, your vocation, your marriage, your time with family, your growth, or the use of your gifts for Jesus? Will there be the adventure of risks of faith taken, steps of obedience initiated, time with fellow pilgrims enjoyed?


As a writer with five books under my belt I know something about writing the chapters that make up a book. Each chapter has a number of themes that make up its content. Those themes are fleshed out before the chapter is written but their content is discovered as the words flow from my heart to the page in the writing process. We don't know what the content of our coming year will be given the vagaries of life but we can thoughtfully determine the themes that will make up this chapter. 


The thing about life chapters is that we cannot redo them. There are no corrections or editing of completed chapters so planning them thoughtfully and writing them intentionally is all the more important. The good news is that God's grace can cover the past and His presence can cover the new. Write this next chapter of your life with passion, energy and with an eye on eternity. Our volumes will be on display for all to see one day. More importantly we are writing it for Jesus.

Dysfunctional families of origin

At fifty five, I realize that I still am deeply impacted by my family of origin (what ever happened to growing up?). Our formative years are just that - formative and they stay with us forever. Some of us are more fortunate than others in our families of origin. Some bear great scars that still feel raw to this day. And, none of us grew up in a perfect family and my own children will deal with dysfunctions that I was responsible for. However,  there are three questions that I believe can help us see our lives in perspective.


One: What can I thank God for relative to my family of origin? Who we are today is in large part the result of our early years. My understanding of Scripture came from terribly early morning devotions, but those devotions informed my view of Scripture and of God. My love of people from all over the world came from the cross cultural experience I had growing up in Hong Kong and the amazing hospitality which my parents exhibited in welcoming all to our home. If I made a list (and it is a good idea) of the may blessings I experienced from my family of origin it would be long. 


Two: What do I need to forgive my parents for? No parents are perfect and their understanding of parenting is a factor of their generation, their spiritual place and their situation in life. I am the first to admit that my kids, Jon and Chip will need to forgive me for parenting mistakes, perhaps that I am not even aware of. Our own parenting skills are a mix of what we saw that we appreciated and what we experienced that was painful. At some point we need to forgive our parents for the painful just as our children will need to forgive us for the same. Ironically we are best suited to raise kids when our grand kids come along.


Forgiveness for the failing of our parents is critical to our own freedom and reflects our own humble evaluation of our own parenting. All of us are in need of God's grace and the grace of others. No parents did it all right. The sooner we forgive, the sooner we are able to deal with the scars we gained early in life.


Three: How do we see God's hand in our personal history? Our upbringing is a mixture of good and bad, happy and sad, levels of family dysfunction and for some, very deep wounds. However, it is an amazing thing to consider how God got us from there to here? How we can see His invisible hand in our personal history to mold us into who we have become and how he presently uses us. Only God has the ability to use both the good and bad of our past and redeem it for His perfect purposes in our present. Only He can change our human scars into divine scars usable by Him.


Ultimately we are not who we are primarily because of our parents but because of the faithfulness of God through our history. Think deeply how God has been present in your history, in your childhood, in all of the events of your life, bringing you to your present place and you will be encouraged. Whether we have much to be thankful for in our upbringing or the need to forgive much that was painful and hurting, the one constant is always the presence of a loving father who brings us to where we are today, redeeming the pain and using all of who we are to impact our world today. Whatever our experiences, God was there in their midst and the proof of that is where He has you today.


I am a far more humble parent than I was when my first son was born. I realize more clearly than ever my own brokenness and that realization helps me forgive the hurts from my own childhood. I hope my children do better than me but know that they deal with their own brokenness and in the end it is the grace and love of Jesus that makes the difference for all of us.

Seven practices of leader learners

The task of leading becomes ever more challenging given the forces and pace of change. In addition, our busyness as leaders gets in the way of our ability to process, think and reflect on the key issues our organizations face now and in the future. There are, however, seven practices of leader learners that can change the very nature of our leadership. I use the term leader learners deliberately. Not all leaders are learners and not all learners are leaders but leaders who are also learners have a powerful combination.

1. Read widely. Anyone looking at my library would say that it is eclectic: biographies, science, psychology, theology, fiction, classics and the new. Wide reading expands our minds to think bigger thoughts, to prompt new ideas and to give us a rich knowledge base from which to draw life, leadership and practical skills. Reading beyond our expertise area is particularly enriching.

2. Ask questions. We are surrounded by people who do interesting things. Regardless of their occupation or expertise, asking a lot of questions expands our own thinking. What is their strategy, what informs their decisions, why did they do what they did, what is the biggest dumb tax they have paid and what are they learning presently? Learn from others.

3. Think deeply. A friend tells me the story of Bill Gates at a resort in Hawaii where he just sat, rocking back and forth for most of a day - thinking. Thinking deeply is a lost art because we have far too many distractions that vie for our attention. Taking the time to think deeply over issues that matter yields insights that are had no other way.

4. Think differently. Common wisdom is very common and often not wisdom. Question everything! Why do we do what we do the way we do it? Are their "game changers" that would take us to a whole new level rather than a small tweak? Look for contrarian thinkers who give you advice that you might not even agree with but which causes you to consider. Innovators are people who are always asking the why question. They can be irritating but they are also the people who leapfrog others because they think differently.

5. Hang with innovators and creative folks. I am not the most creative guy in the world but I know a lot of people who are and the more time I spend with them the more creatively I think. I especially love time with young creative leaders who see life through a different lens than I do at 55. I need them to stay young!

6. Pray for wisdom and insight. They Holy Spirit has intelligence about what we do that we don't! Ask Him for insight and wisdom and expect that He will talk back. I am convinced that the best ideas I have had did not come from me but came from Him. Ask and you shall receive!

7. Whiteboard monthly. Take just one big rock a month, get the right people into a room and have a whiteboard session around that issue. You will be surprised what the combined intelligence will yield compared to you alone. So simple, but it takes time. I rarely tackle an issue alone. I want the multiplication factor of bright folks and their combined intelligence for the best solution.

The common denominator of these seven practices is time and intentionality. Of course that is what it takes to be a leader learner.

Are you beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists?

Eric Hoffer puts his finger on a critical truth when the world in which we live is in significant change.  “In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” 

One of the central jobs of a leader is not to specialize in what is today but to anticipate what will be tomorrow. It is to live in the present and the future at the same time knowing that the present will soon be history and the future will soon be today.

Take the US Postal Service which is hemorrhaging red ink as people send far fewer letters. The day the first fax was sent was the day that the Postal Service became obsolete. But no one noticed. Today they are begging junk mailers to send more stuff because the rest of us are using email. They are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

Or think of the evangelism strategies of most local churches which assume that people who don't know Christ will come to our church and find Him through some program. For the most part that world no longer exists but the church has not yet noticed. While we are beautifully equipped to put on programs that share the gospel at church the people we want to reach are less and less likely to come to church! The future is going to where people are who need Jesus, not expecting them to come to us - but the church continues to be blissfully unaware that it is bringing the gospel to every sector of life and work that is the key to evangelism.

The most beautifully equipped institutions to deal with a world that no longer exists are seminaries who continue to sell us on the idea that one cannot minister effectively without their education which entails sitting at the feet of the professors for four years. In the meantime many of the most effective workers today are being raised up in the context of ministry, are getting their education on the job and are not infected with the traditional ministry paradigms that still drive the church world. But try to get ordained in most denominations without a seminary education! We have professionalized ministry but the future is the releasing of people into ministry who are called, creative and equipped but not necessary in traditional ways. It almost sounds like the New Testament church!

I work in the world of missions where the whitewater of change is huge. As a group, western missions are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Today it belongs to those who are equippers of indigenous workers, rather than those who are still doing what nationals could be doing better than they. 

If you lead anything, one needs to be living in the present and the future simultaneously or run the real risk of becoming museum pieces beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Learners inherit the earth. Learners are those who are paying close attention to the changing environment and are adapting to that change. Learners know that the status quo is not static for long and that tomorrows realities will be different than today's. There are plenty of people who are beautifully equipped to deal with today's realities. Leaders are learners who are equipped to anticipate the needs of tomorrow which will be today all too soon.

A story stranger than fiction

No story is better known. No story better captures the heart of a child - small or grown - than the one we celebrate today. No matter how many times we hear the story it never grows old, it never disappoints, never ceases to evoke deep emotions of wonder, awe and comfort. An angel’s proclamation to illiterate shepherds, a teenage unwed mother, a loyal carpenter fiancee, the evil king Herod, a cold, clear, Bethlehem night without a place to stay. A messy birth in an animal’s stall, alongside a dirty alley in the dark of night. Confused cows watching unknowing as the Son of the universe stares back unknowing at the very animals He had created eons before. A mother, a child, a carpenter, a few agitated animals and the pungent smell of manure.



This is a story so absurd that it could only have been scripted by a Divine hand. No other writer would have attempted such a script. If they had they would not have claimed it to be true: fiction maybe, but not reality. This is not how the One whose voice had echoed off of a billion galaxies would make His entrance. Without CNN and Fox News, into a hovel known affectionately today as Bethlehem but then nothing more than a tiny village on the path to Jerusalem. 

His entrance was marked not by a proclamation to kings but to astonished herdsmen sleeping with sheep. The heavens opened with ten thousand voices – not over Jerusalem the ancient capital – but over a tiny grazing field for a handful of insignificant shepherds. They would be the only witnesses of the grand entrance of a King. No other writer would have written such a script. 

No other author would have taken such a chance. For behind this story there are echoes of another story - equally incredulous. Centuries before in the vastness of eternity past – when infinity kissed infinity, The Master of Infinity spoke into being the universe in which we live - 3,000 of whose stars are visible to the careful eye, 30 billion visible from a large telescope, - the other 90% of the universe still hidden from our eyes. Its splendor an eternal testimony to the Author of the story.

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Most blessed, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, Thy great name we praise.


Great Father of glory, pure Father of light,
Thine angels adore thee, all veiling their sight;
All praise we would render: O help us to see
Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee.
(Walter Chalmers Smith)


The Author’s heart was restless still, lonely in His perfection. A heart full of love is not easily satisfied. Transcendent goodness longed to give away infinite love. Again the Author spoke: A planet was expertly crafted. One among billions. A people wonderfully created – in the image of the Author. Free to love, free to experience the infinite goodness of the Author. Free to revel in His infinite Love. But above all free. Love cannot be forced and remain love.


We are not the sole owners of broken hearts. No heart suffered such sorrow as Infinite Love rejected. Image bearers rejected the Image Maker. The story’s characters fired the Author to write their own script. Unmatched, searing pain pierced the Author’s heart as the loved jilted the Lover. 


Chaos infiltrated beauty. A planet was hijacked and spun out of control. Poverty of spirit supplanted endless joy. Unfulfilled hearts realized the pain of lost love. Without the Author, individual story lines faltered – and failed. Sadness reigned. Darkness descended in seeming endless gloom.

Truth can be stranger than fiction. For in the pained heavens the grieving Author plotted love’s revenge. An awesome revenge that only Divinity could contrive – that only Divinity would contrive. Having lost His loved, the Lover would send His most loved to reclaim His heart’s desire. The rejected Creator would kiss the unfaithful created. Tender mercy in place of deserved destruction. An astonished heaven broke into unbelieving applause. Image bearers would be reclaimed by the Image Maker. Light would once again prevail over darkness. Brokenness would be made whole. Peace would triumph over chaos.

All was silent in the heavens on the chosen night. Angels held their corporate breath. For nine months the Son had been absent, resident in a young girls womb, coming to us not as a king but incognito, just one of thousands of children that would be born on a lonely planet that night – into the darkness that our word had become. Placenta covered the Son of the universe arriving to claim back His beloved: this time, one by one, heart by heart. Tender mercy arriving in disguise: one of us, one like us. On that night, the Author personally entered our story. 

Such humility our world has never known. A stunning reversal for a world gone astray. A Heart full of love is not easily satisfied. Transcendent goodness longing to give away infinite love, arriving under cover of night in order to “shine on those living in darkness…to guide our feet into the path of peace.” (Luke 1:27).

When an author writes, each character is unique; each has his or her own storyline. We, each have a story – unique, unrepeated, singular. Each story has its own joy, its own pain, its own pathos and unmatched quality. But each shares one singular, astonishing feature. We are made in the Author’s image, and He will not rest until we have invited Him to join in our story. 

More astonishing than the script He has authored, the story we celebrate today is that He also wants to enter into your story. This is the most ancient of stories but it is also the most contemporary of stories. The Christmas story is but one chapter in the Author’s divine script. The Author is still writing. And every person who invites Him into their story becomes a separate and unique chapter in His unfinished book. And into each story He brings His light and peace. 

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” (John 3:16-17.)


Have you invited Him into your story?

Take time to pray for evangelistic services taking place around our globe today

Today and tomorrow across all the time zones on our planet, outreach efforts will be taking place to share the message of Christmas and the incarnation. Because Christmas is a unique holiday there is a great deal of interest around it even among those who know little or nothing about Jesus or the gospel.


Just this week, at just one event in Shillong, India, 60 inmates of a local jail gave their lives to Jesus as the Christmas story was told. Multiply that across our globe and the harvest will be great.


Pray for indigenous workers everywhere who will be sharing the story of Christ, often with little or no resources but with hearts full of love for their people. Pray for receptive hearts among those whose lives need the hope of the Gospel and the light of a relationship with Christ. Pray for the persecuted church who are often targeted at Christmas since it is so important to Christians and they are gathered together. 


Isaiah writes "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned...For to us a child is born, to us a son is given and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end (Isaiah 9:2-7)."


Pray that once again, many walking in darkness will see a light, the light of the incarnation and that His kingdom would expand this Christmas eve and Christmas day.

Dear Dad

We often do not realize that of the seven billion people on our planet,  one billion of us are impacted by disabilities, either personally or in our families. How we love, include, treat, care for and honor those with disabilities is a huge indicator of our understanding of the Gospel. All people are made in God's image, all are equally important to Him and all have an equal purpose in His plan. We acknowledge those truths by treating those with disabilities as Jesus did and loving them as Jesus did.


Longtime friends of ours, Barb and Tim are living with the realities of Tim's struggle with ALS. She is a great writer and this recent blog of hers caught my eye because it captures the heart that all of us ought to have in caring for those with disabilities. It is a heart of love and thanks in the midst of tough realities.

Dear Dad~

I miss you so much just now. It's been more than 10 years since you've gone to see Jesus. I certainly do wish there were times when I could still talk to you. Especially now.

When you were here on earth with me, we never took the time to talk about your handicap. You never told me what it was like to go through having a major stroke. You never told me what it was like when all of a sudden half of your body refused to work anymore. You never told me what it was like to try parenting your kids after such a tragic event. I am finding myself in a place where I sure could use your advice on those things!

For all these years, I've always thought God put me in my place in our family for a couple different reasons. First, I thought I was there to be your incentive to get better. After all, I was only two years old when you suffered your stroke. You had to get better in order to take care of me and to play with me, your baby girl. (A little self-centered purpose, I suppose.)

I have also come to think of my place in our family as God's protection of sorts. Knowing how much everyone else in the family kind of fell apart after your stroke, I have, again selfishly, thought God placed me so late after Kris so that I would be spared that pain. I was so much younger that I wasn't even aware really of what was happening in our family. I was not pulled into the whirlwind of chaos that they were sucked into.

So as I grew up, everything after your stroke was normal to me. To all my sisters and brothers, everything had dramatically changed. There was a "before" and an "after". But not for me. It was normal to see you limp as you walked. It was normal that your left arm was always in a sling. It was normal to watch Mom comb your hair and clip your fingernails. It was normal to have someone cut your meat for you. I never thought twice about any of those things.

But, Dad, I have realized that though my first thoughts are still correct, I must now add another reason for my place in our family. God put me in our family, growing up with handicap as normal so that now I am just reverting back to my "normal" to comb Tim's hair, to clip his nails, to feed him his lunch, to help him dress and undress. It was God's way of preparing me for what's happening right now.

And I also need to add to the long list of things you taught me: You taught me how to help people in a way that is compassionate and preserves their dignity. It really is no big deal for me to help Tim on a daily basis - and it is thanks to you for that. Growing up around a handicap that seemed normal was one of your biggest gifts to me. Thanks for not talking about it. That kept it just a normal part of my daily life.

And can you thank our Father in heaven for me too? Not only did he place me in our family to help you recover from your stroke and to protect me from the aftermath of that stroke, I have just realized that he placed me in our family to prepare me for the journey I am walking right now. It's truly amazing how something so tragic so long ago can be used in such a powerful way almost 40 years later! He really is an amazing God that way.

I am envious that Tim will join you so much sooner than I will. Be sure to show him the best fishing spots you've found so far. It wouldn't surprise me if you have already met Tim's grandpa and you're planning your first fishing trip together for when he joins you! I miss you so much, but am happy that you are hanging with Jesus!

Love you,

Your little girl

If you would like to follow this couples journey, you may do so at Life Stitches. I honor those like Barb and Tim who walk the path of suffering with dignity and faith.

What can we learn from the incarnation?

We love the story of the incarnation and few stories have been told more ways in more places with more people. I never tire of it for it is a story of hope that is renewed every time it is retold - the Creator becoming one of the created so that the created could once again know the Creator! Here, Hope trumps all the darkness of our world in the person of Jesus.


Here is the question for us to ponder: what do we learn from the incarnation, the invasion of our world by a loving God, that can inform our lives and our interactions with others? 


When the Apostle John writes, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us (John 1:14)," he captures the heart of incarnation: God in Jesus came to live with us, entering into our flesh, subject to the frailties of the human condition including sadness, pain, joys, betrayal, illness and even death. 


In coming to live with us, Jesus left the comfort of heaven for the realities of a fallen earth. We follow the example of Jesus whenever we enter into the lives of others to bring love, hope, help and Him. We follow His example when we leave our comfort zones for the sake of others, being willing to get into the mess of the lives of others (as Jesus did with us), willing to suffer the inconveniences and even the pain of others. We follow His example when we "give ourselves away" to those who need a friend, some grace, unconditional love and acceptance. 


The joy of what Jesus has done for us is heightened when we become Jesus to others. Every time we do, we live out the blessing of the incarnation. We received it. Lets give it away.

Jesus: the intersection of grace and truth

If someone were to describe you what would they say? How would you like the job of describing Jesus? How does one even begin to comprehend Him?

The Apostle John, described the incarnation and the incarnate One this way. "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14)."

The One and Only, from the Father - full of grace and truth. The emissary of the unseen God bringing the two things that the world, and each of us, need most: grace and truth.

Truth is in short supply on our globe. The perfect world created by God was hijacked by Satan and his minions and the loss of truth was one of the consequences of the fall. In its place, Satan and fallen mankind manufactured versions of truth that suited them: False gods that promise everything but cannot deliver anything, but even more ironic, gods that leave us emptier than before. Everyone is chasing some version of "truth" but Jesus came with the Truth about God, man, sin, salvation and how to find fullness of life. Jesus brought truth and Jesus is truth! Want to know truth? Get to know Jesus!

The truth deficit brought about by the fall brought with it all the brokenness that we face personally and corporately in our world. And then comes Jesus, full of grace! All of the unfathomable grace of God in Jesus. Grace to cover the brokenness of tax collectors, prostitutes, the sick and lame, the rich and poor - you and me. Forgiveness with restoration. Grace that we can share with others as the grace of Jesus overflows from our lives.

Jesus is the perfect intersection of grace and truth - and therefore our deepest needs. Neither is complete without the other. Together, they change the trajectory of our lives forever. As you think about the incarnation, think grace and truth. Celebrate these two gifts of the Father to us.

Who threatens us and who are we envious of?

Two interesting questions to ponder. Who are we threatened by and who are we envious of? The answers to both reveal a great deal about us, our hearts and our insecurities.


Usually we are threatened by someone who we perceive to have more influence and power than we do. Thus the pastor who resents a strong layman in the congregation who others look up to. Or a former leader in a church whose influence has waned and is threatened by other strong leaders who have emerged. Those in the secular workplace know all too well the subtle power struggles that take place as people jockey for influence and power - against others who are a threat to their influence and power. Even the closest disciples of Jesus were not immune to these petty jealousies.


Another way of framing the question is "Who am I envious of?" Usually we are envious of those who see more "success" than we do, by whatever measure we are using, and those who have more perceived favor and status in the eyes of others.


Those who we are threatened by or envious of are important to us. Not because of who they are but because of what they reveal about the state of our hearts, motivations and drive. In short, they reveal deficiencies in our hearts and psyche! They reveal an incompleteness in us that must be made up for by competing with others and often hurting others in order to build ourselves up. For the only way to trump those who threaten us or we are envious of is to outdo them - to demean them in order to elevate us!


And here is the heart of the matter. This is all about us! It is not about our calling or humbly serving where God has us. It is about pride and personal elevation which inevitably means someone else suffers at our expense. The Apostle Paul never played this game and he never competed with those who competed with him. In fact, he ignored those who he called "super apostles" who were jockeying for power and influence and he simply stayed the course of the ministry God had called him to which was harder, more costly with fewer accolades of others but played to an audience of One. He knew that at the end of the day, it was God's evaluation of his life that counted, not the evaluation of others.


Pay attention to those you are threatened by or envious of. The message is not about them but about us!

Leadership waste in the church

OK, let's talk about an elephant in the church! I often hear pastors say that they need to train leaders and I often scratch my head because most pastors are not great leaders. That does not mean that they don't lead because by definition their job is one of leadership. But often the best leaders in the congregation are not pastors but men and women in the church whose gifting and jobs are leadership in the secular arena. But because they are not trained pastors, somehow, they don't qualify to lead in the church.

The greatest waste of leadership capital ever is found in the local church where leaders are not released to use their leadership gifts by pastors who are threatened by those who have stronger leadership gifts than themselves. 

I often talk to leaders who feel disenfranchised in their own church and who leave those churches for a place where their gifts are desired and used. And I think, what a waste! It is a loss for them, for the congregation and most of all for the kingdom. And I have to believe that Jesus cares a lot since He is the Lord of the Church and gave the leadership gifts!


Because of our mission, there should be no place where collaboration is more common than in the local church. Not competition but collaboration for the sake of the expansion of the gospel. This kind of collaboration, however requires pastoral staff who are not threatened by strong leaders in the congregation. In fact, rather than being threatened, they see that leadership capital as a bank of opportunity that can be tapped for greater ministry results. Rather than fearing strong leaders they embrace them and mobilize them for ministry impact.

I believe that God will hold Christian leaders accountable for the extent to which they empower all of God's people to use their ministry gifts in the church. That includes leadership gifts. I know many wonderful leaders who are not invited to use their leadership gifts in ministry because of the fear of ministry leaders who see other leaders as a threat to them.

Lets be real. We all have fears and we are all vulnerable to insecurities. But we must always remember that ministry is not about us but about the people of God being released for maximum ministry impact. Pastors may be insecure about their leadership acumen. Lay leaders may be insecure about their theological acumen. Together, however, they make a powerful combination. 

A better you, courtesy of the Holy Spirit

Most of us would like a better version of us. I grow tired of my impatience with others knowing how patient God is with me. I desire a deeper joy, knowing that God has given me so much. I wish to eradicate unkindness from my vocabulary and attitudes having experienced the kindness of Jesus on a daily basis. I want harshness in any form to give way to gentleness and my tendency to act in ways that hurt myself or others to give way to self control. And, for peace to reign in my heart regardless of my circumstances. Yes, I want a better version of me. 


For Christ followers, that better us is not only possible and within reach, it is the direct gift and work of the Holy Spirit at work in our lives. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)." These qualities that make for a better us are a direct derivative of our relationship with Jesus. As we focus on our relationship with Him, this fruit is a natural result in our lives. When I say I want to be a gentler, kinder, version of me, what I am really longing for is more of the Holy Spirit in my life. 


What is interesting about the Spirit's fruit is that it is the opposite of  our natural self which is self centered and selfish. These qualities which come directly from God to us are other centric and directly mirror the graciousness that God has for us - undeserved as it is. In fact, the best way to understand what these qualities look like in real life is to read the Gospels and meditate on the life of Jesus. My greatest desire would be that people look at me and say, "He is like Jesus." That, by the way is the Holy Spirit's plan for our lives as well. Thus He shares His character with us.


We can be proactive in this process. Paul reminds us that "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Galatians 5:24-26)." The more we walk with the Spirit, the more of His character becomes our character. The old swapped for the new!


The greatest gifts we could give one another this Christmas, and every day, are the fruit of the Spirit in our words, actions, interactions and attitudes. In doing so, we become Jesus to one another and give what all of us desperately need. In the process, we become a better version of us, courtesy of the Holy Spirit.

Abuse in the church - when the bully is the pastor

As I watch the news of Penn State and Syracuse the thought that keeps running through my mind is "why did otherwise reasonable people either ignore, give a pass or not confront behaviors which it now seems were egregiousness and serious? There are probably several reasons: the perpetrators had power; people didn't want to assume that these upstanding citizens could be doing these things, and a simple failure of courage! 

Let's take that same question and apply it to the church! Why do pastors get away with behaviors that would otherwise be forbidden  even in the secular workplace? Here are some of the behaviors I have observed over the past 20 years of consulting with local churches and I am talking about evangelical churches here.

• Pastors whose insecurities cause them to divide people into two camps. Those who agree with them and are therefor their friends and those who disagree with them and are therefore their enemies. Enemies are ignored, shunted to the side and marginalized. How does that square with loving the flock?
• Pastors who use threats to get their way. Threats as blatant as "I could fire you if you don't do this" or "I will resign if you push me on this." "I don't care if I get zero votes on a confidence vote, I am not leaving and will take the church down with me if I have to."
• Pastors who use inappropriate sexual language or touch and even flirting with the opposite sex in both public places and private situations (counseling).
• Pastors who are intimidated by other strong leaders (who are seen as a threat to their leadership) and make it hard for them to serve in the church.
• Pastors who are unaccountable with their time. When they are away from the church, no staff members has any idea as to where they are or how to reach them.
• Pastors who will not allow their boards to speak into their lives, specific situations that have occurred, conduct executive sessions of the board or give them an annual review. This sends a loud message, "I don't have to be accountable to you."
• Pastors who hire staff without due diligence, don't mentor or coach them on a regular basis and fire them if they become a threat to them or don't perform to their standards. This is a user mentality toward people.
• Pastors who leave their church angry, deliberately dividing the congregation on their way out.
• Pastors who triangulate relationships to form alliances against others whether other staff members, board members or congregants. Not only wrong but a sign of poor emotional intelligence.
• Pastors who will take credit for any advance and find scapegoats for any failure.
• Pastors who use their "God given authority" to lead as they see fit. After all they are "God's anointed." Again, this ignores accountability and shared leadership.
• Pastors who speak ill of board members or congregants even as they become angry if they hear of either group criticizing them. 

Fortunately, the vast majority of pastors I work with are wonderful individuals who are deeply committed Christ followers and models of Christian leadership. But when I see behaviors that are out of the pale and ignored, as they were with Penn State and Syracuse, I have to ask myself why? I understand the unregenerate behavior but I don't understand those surrounding the situation who allow it to continue. Where is the board? Where are members of the congregation who see and are grieved? 

Often pastors who exhibit these characteristics are simply bullies. They get in the face of anyone who tries to speak to their behaviors which is why boards often back off. But why should a board back off and since when do bullies qualify to be pastors of a local church? I think of the qualifications for elders and deacons in the New Testament and the further comments of Peter on the matter and wonder why we allow behaviors that are so contrary to both New Testament teaching and the model of Jesus. 

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com

Creating cultures of excellence

Reality Distortion Fields

The phrase was coined by members of Steve Jobs teams when he wanted to convince them that something they all knew to be false was indeed true. They would quietly whisper, "beware of the reality distortion field, don't get caught in it." Steve, with his powerful, over the top persuasive abilities was able to convince a lot of people a lot of things a lot of the time and it all fit his version of reality, his reality distortion field.


The truth is that we all have reality distortion fields which allow us to see reality on our terms. Healthy individuals keep those distortion fields to a minimum while unhealthy individuals allow them to grow and expand until they are literally living in an alternative reality - often quiet separated from reality. 


Some years ago, I was asked by a pastor and board to determine why he and the board were experiencing so much conflict. I interviewed board members, staff members and finally the pastor himself. He was amazed that people felt the way they did about him as he had been living with a picture of himself that was quite different than the picture others had. His distortion field (the level of distortion between his view and reality) would have caused him to likely lose his job if he had not rectified the problem quickly because it was at the root of the conflict between he and the board and staff. 


I have seen reality distortion fields become pathological when an individual becomes so disconnected from reality (yes in ministry) that they actually believe their unhealthy treatment of others is OK and that those they mistreat are actually OK with it as well. Of course, when you do your own inquiry one finds out that this is not the case at all but the defensive mechanisms of the one with a significant reality distortion field protects him or her from the guilt they ought to have for their behavior. Reality distortion fields always provide the perpetrator of poor behavior an alternative explanation which absolves them and places the blame on others. 


Usually, reality distortion fields are allowed to grow (often in leaders) because those around them do not have the courage to confront and tell the individual the truth. There is a reason for the lack of courage. These individuals are very hard to get through to. Their defensiveness is massive and they don't want to hear a version of truth that messes with their reality distortion field. However, the logical outcome of their progression into non reality is narcissism where they can justify anything and eventually implode but only after hurting a great many people. 


I asked one board whose pastor exhibited these tendencies why they had not done a job review in decades. The answer was that the senior pastor was too defensive and threatened by it so they held off, allowing the senior pastor's behavior to escalate and continue to hurt others. This particular pastor would use threats against those who tried to penetrate his defenses. The board actually thought that if they pushed their pastor he would quit since he had threatened on a number of occasions to do so. Ironically it would have been the best thing that could have happened to the church.


Those who live with reality distortion fields are crazy makers to those around them. They so distort reality that those who live in reality start to wonder if they are somehow going nuts and may even be to blame for the chaos that they see around them! It is like the inmates of an insane asylum convincing the staff that they ought to trade places because it is really the staff who are living with reality distortion fields and not the inmates. If you have ever lived or worked close to one with a reality distortion field you know exactly what I am talking about!


If you have a situation like this in your ministry please deal with it. The longer you wait the more distortion takes place and the more distortion takes place the more people get hurt.