When our ministries claim to be transformational but toxicity exists on their staff, we need to take note

 

There is a disconnect in many ministries that claim to be about transformation. That disconnect is that their own internal staff cultures are often toxic, dysfunctional, and highly untransformed. It is a sickness that pervades even high-profile ministries that purport to be at the forefront of leadership and transformational ministries.

I recently worked with a very large multi-ethnic church, where I also did a culture audit. The audit revealed a deeply toxic culture within the staff which spilled over to the ministry of the church in general. The church claimed to be transformational, but in reality, its claim was wishful thinking as there was little staff health. Some staff who had left in recent years would not even step back onto the campus. 

The interesting thing was that when the culture audit findings were shared with the board, there seemed to be little concern, leading me to withdraw from my consulting with them. The church was in decline, as is often the case when there is toxicity among staff. In fact, almost every one of the 70 individuals I interviewed indicated that the congregation was on the downward side of the organizational life cycle. 

If our staff cultures are not healthy, we do not have the moral ground to claim that our ministry is about transformation. There are too many places where fear and intimidation, and lack of care for staff are the norm. It usually reflects the senior leader's lack of EQ or concern for those on their staff. It is often fueled by a leader's drive to succeed or their own insecurities. Whatever the cause, it is inexcusable and sad. And not consistent with the kind of cultures that reflect the culture of Jesus.

Healthy staff cultures are marked by these kinds of characteristics.

• All are treated with dignity
• Grace is extended in all situations - even when tough issues are being dealt with
• Truth is spoken in grace
• People are developed, empowered and valued
• Candid discussion is valued
• People are in their "lane" or sweet spot
• Men and women are treated equally
• There is a high value in helping people become all they can be
• Leaders serve their staff to help them be successful
• There is clarity of roles and people are given the tools to do their jobs
• Teamwork is highly valued
• Relationships are collegial 
• Opinions are valued
• Staff find their roles fulfilling because they understand the mission they are contributing to
• There is high trust
• Fairness is practiced in all situations
• Appreciation is regularly expressed

How does your staff culture measure up, and where could you do better? Transformation starts at home, in our own ministries. As ministry leaders, our commitment to transformation starts with our own staff. Where there is transformation on staff, it will spill over into the congregation and the opposite is also true. 

Church congregational meetings are an indicator of church health

 

The first congregational meeting I attended in a church I was a member of was a disaster. A staff member had been let go, and a delegation came to defend him and skewer the church leaders. In the heat of the moment, the church chairman told someone to call the police! It went downhill from there. 

The tone, behavior, and tenor of congregational meetings say a lot about the health of the church. If dysfunction exists in the congregation, it is likely to show itself here. Because it is here that leaders either choose to be properly transparent or to hide their agendas and where the congregation has a chance to say what it wants to say in whatever way they choose to do so. Here are some markers of congregational meetings and what they say about the health of the church.

One: Leaders have the opportunity to craft public meetings, which means that they have the ability to control the agenda in ways that are either healthy or unhealthy. When leaders surprise the congregation in public meetings in large ways, they have led poorly, as this is not the place to drop something large on the congregation, and expect that they will act on it quickly. Usually, surprising the congregation in a public meeting means that the leadership did not have the will or the courage to lay the groundwork ahead of time.

Two: How transparent leaders are on issues that they can be candid about says a lot about their leadership. When they are secretive, don't answer the concerns of the congregation or will not explain issues that deserve an explanation, they are usually working from defensive, fearful, or authoritarian positions. Where there are complicated issues to discuss, such as budgets or bi-law changes, good leaders will provide venues prior to the meeting so that all concerns can be addressed. However, in either case, their willingness to listen, respond and be honest is a key indicator of their health.

Three: The attitude of the congregation in public meetings says much about the health of the body as a whole. When public charges are made in a less than loving matter, when opinions are expressed with anger or where there are personal attacks or hidden agendas behind comments and questions, it does not come from Jesus! The fruit of the Spirit in all congregational deliberations is a sign of its health and the absence of its dishealth.

Four: This is one that many leaders don't get. When they don't provide adequate communication, don't listen to their congregation, or have an agenda that the congregation does not desire to follow and does not feel right about, they will be challenged where there is an opportunity, and this is one of those opportunities. When leaders will not address the concerns of many, there will be an eruption somewhere, and it is often in this venue. While I don't condone any eruptions that don't display the fruit of the Spirit on this one, I don't blame the congregation but insensitive leaders who have not done their job well. If you frustrate the congregation long enough, it will come out at some point.

Congregations are families. When families get along, it is because they are operating out of health. When they don't get along, they are operating from dishealth.

How do you know if your meetings are healthy? Ask yourself if you want to go to them. If you have anxiety over them or feel the tension in the room, there is dysfunction afoot. Leaders, especially, ought to be aware of those tensions and do what they need to do in order to lead well.

The Taxonomy of Knowing: What you know, don't know, don't know that you know and don't know that you don't know. By Edumund Chan

 In response to “stewarding knowledge capital”, I was recently asked about Donald Rumsfeld’s “Knowns and Unknowns”, formatted in a paradigm somewhat akin in orientation to Johari’s Window.

While the paradigm is helpful, we must nonetheless humbly recognize that the taxonomy of KNOWING is far more complex in the real world of learning and discovery.

The whole point is to be a lifelong learner, which involves discovery, learning, and growth in community.

Let’s begin with something simple and familiar. There are four basic quadrants of KNOWING -

What I know I know.
What I know I don’t know.
What I don’t know I know.
What I don’t know I don’t know.

But the taxonomy of KNOWING is complex. At least, it’s not as simple as we think!

For KNOWING is not a solitary act. It’s a communal, interactive discovery.

So, we have to move from the individualistic cognition (the “I know” and the “I don’t know”) to add another marker towards a communal cognition (the “you know” and the “you don’t know”).

And with this, the communal experience of you and I KNOWING gets interesting (and mind-blogging!)

Consider this. There are some things I know that I know. And if you know me, you’ll probably know that I know (and that I know that I know).

Likewise, there are some things that you know you know; and if I know you, I would also know that you know (and that you know that you know).

But it doesn’t stop there!

In many other things, I know I don’t know, and you know that I don’t know (and that I know that I don’t know). And likewise, there are some things you know that you don’t know, and I would know that you don’t know (and that you know that you don’t know).

But it gets a little more complicated - when I don’t know that I don’t know, and you know that I don’t know that I don’t know. Or, in reverse, you don’t know that you don’t know; and I know that you don’t know that you don’t know.

Or, it might be another aspect of cognitive dissonance where I don’t know that I know, and you know that I don’t know that I know. Or maybe, it’s the other way around. You don’t know that you know, and I know that you don’t know that you know.

Or, the case might be that I know I know, but you don’t know that I know; or conversely, you know you know, but I don’t know you know.

Add another permutation. I know I don’t know, but you don’t know that I don’t know (or that I know that I don’t know). Or conversely, you know that you don’t know, but I don’t know that you don’t know (or that you know that you don’t know)!

Now it also gets complicated when I don’t know I know, and you don’t know that I don’t know I know. Or perhaps the case might be that you don’t know that you know, and I don’t know that you don’t know that you know, right?

Then again, it might be that I don’t know that I don’t know, and you don’t know that I don’t know that I don’t know. Or conversely, you don’t know that you don’t know, and I don’t know that you don’t know that you don’t know!!!

But hey, there’s MORE!

Till now, these mind-stretching permutations revolves only around “you” and “I” - it would become even more challenging when we include a ‘THEY’!

For what’s more complex is when I don’t know I don’t know that I don’t know, and you don’t know that I don’t even know that I don’t know that I don’t know; and you likewise don’t know that you don’t know you don’t know, and I don’t know that you don’t know that you don’t know - but THEY KNOW that WE DON’T KNOW!!!

Put simply, I don’t know, and you also don’t know, that WE don’t know we don’t know that we don’t know - but THEY KNOW!

*BUT what if THEY don’t know, YOU KNOW??!!!*

Hey, I better stop here. Who knows WHO knows?!! Except GOD KNOWS!

If you don’t get the above, it’s alright. Get this. My fundamental view is that the taxonomy of KNOWING is complex. And so, we ought to be life-long learners in a community of life-long learners. To keep on learning, discovering and growing!

Have a blessed pilgrimage ahead!

Ten Dysfunctions of Church Governance Boards

 

I want to say this gently but straightforwardly! There is a leadership crisis in the church as it relates to who we put in leadership, whether we call them councils, boards, elders, deacons, or simply the leadership boards. This crisis is responsible for many of the dysfunctions in local churches. Leadership at this level matters a lot. 

Having served for years as a pastor, board member, or board chair, I know it is difficult. That being said, it is vital to the church's health that we have healthy boards. There is much that I could say - my book High Impact Church Boards is an accessible and readable book for boards. But for now, let's look at the top dysfunctions of church governance boards.

Not guarding the gate to leadership.
It takes only one or two wrong board members to sabotage the health of a board. See my blog, Eight kinds of people who should not serve on a church board. This means that how we select leaders for church leadership matters a lot. There are actual implicit and explicit qualifications spelled out in Scripture that must be considered. Most churches do not have a safe and effective way of choosing church leaders, which hurts the board and the church. See The profile of an effective church leader.

Allowing elephants to exist in the boardroom.
Elephants are the issues everyone knows are there, but no one will name them. They are dangerous precisely because the board is unable to talk about them. And they are issues that usually matter. Dysfunctional boards allow elephants to exist that healthy boards do not, and those issues are generally issues that cause harm to the ministry and church body. Periodically, I recommend asking the board if any unspoken elephants need to be named. Once named, elephants are simply issues to be discussed.

Allowing known issues to fester way too long.
There needs to be more courage on many boards. Either we don't talk about known issues (elephants), or we talk about them but only resolve them once they finally become significant issues that must be dealt with. Passive boards that avoid conflict lead passive churches that will do the same. Peter makes it clear in 2 Peter 5 that church leadership is not easy or for the faint of heart. Many boards don't deal with known issues until that issue has caused a lot of damage in the church. Here is a principle. It is relatively easy to deal with an issue straightforwardly when it appears. When you allow it to fester for years, it is far messier to clean up.

Substituting business for the spiritual work of leadership.
Boards must do business, but it is not their only work. It is spelled out in the New Testament as keeping the spiritual temperature high, ensuring that the congregation is taught, cared for, developed, and released into meaningful ministry, protected, and led well. Most boards I work with have allowed prayer to become a perfunctory way to start and end board meetings rather than a central priority of seeking out the heart of God. Boards devoid of significant spiritual life will lead churches of the same nature.

Not doing due diligence on issues.
I have seen associate pastors fired with no questions from a board on the word of the senior pastor when even a cursory conversation with the affected party would have indicated that what they were hearing was highly skewed and inaccurate. I once interviewed all staff who had left a church over 12 months, and they all had the same story of abuse and unfair treatment by the senior leader, yet no one on the board had ever asked and were living in denial. Where there are patterns, pay attention, ask questions, and verify. I have often encountered boards that knew something was happening but chose not to inquire. In the meantime, people were severely hurt.

Not asking the hard questions.

Board members tend to avoid questions that might create conflict or create embarrassment for the senior leader. A good board meeting is seen as one where there is harmony and the avoidance of controversy. This is sad because it is in the hard questions that we get to the heart of existing issues or ensure that we cover our bases in the ministry. In fact, the very best board members are willing to ask the most challenging questions for the sake of the ministry. Hard questions create the dialogue necessary for a church to improve and get better. 

The inability to police their own members.
I am regularly fascinated by the fact that board members want congregants to "behave" and will even sometimes "bully" them into doing so but are unable and unwilling to police their own behaviors. That is a huge disconnect. I tell boards they operate without a board covenant at their own risk. In some congregations I have worked with, the congregation's behavior surpassed that of their presumptive spiritual leaders. 

Lack of a plan, intentionality, and accountability for results.
Part of the biblical mandate of leaders is to lead. Yet many boards cannot articulate where the church is going and why. That is clearly not leadership but rather babysitting the status quo. Where there is a plan, there is often no intentionality about pursuing it, and few church boards hold staff accountable for real ministry results but simply spiritualize the issue (the Holy Spirit is responsible for results). There is a reason some churches see more results than others: they have a  plan, are intentional about the plan, and regularly evaluate how they are doing.

Misusing the authority of a leader.
Some church leaders are frankly bullies and full of themselves because of their title. Most of us have met one. Of course, this goes back to the need to guard the gate on the front end so that people with agendas or a lack of humility don't get into leadership. The predominant job of church leaders is to serve God's people in the spirit that Jesus served people during his life on earth. It is about service more than position, example more than pronouncements, living the Jesus life and pursuing His agenda rather than our personal agendas. I encounter too many leaders who throw their weight around rather than serve.

Passivity

This is the most common dysfunction of boards I have worked with. These are boards that, in the face of apparent issues to any outsider looking in, have ignored the obvious for years. They have simply been passive in the face of issues that need attention. I have often wondered why otherwise brilliant individuals choose to park their thinking at the door of a church boardroom. Is it because they don't feel qualified to deal with spiritual issues? Is it because challenging their pastoral leader messes with "God's anointed?" Or is it simply that we are a culture of "nice," and dealing with issues threatens that culture? As a consultant, the issues often seem so obvious that I have to ask why they have been ignored. Passivity is not leadership and is a sin of many church boards.

Five ways we can create conflict when trying to avoid it

 

It is ironic, but there are many ways to seek to avoid conflict that actually creates it. Think about this:

One: When we try to please others by not telling them what we really think in an attempt to keep the peace, we often unintentionally create a later conflict since our words do not match our true thoughts. Our true convictions come out at some point, and the lack of honesty on the front end creates conflict on the back end.

Two: When we tell one person one thing and another a different thing in order to keep the peace, we eventually create conflict because the two versions don't match up. One of the signs of good EQ is the ability to be defined by what we believe, no matter what the response might be. And to stay in a relationship with those who might disagree with us at the same time. 

Three: When we simply avoid the issues and pretend that they are not there, the end result is far deeper conflict than we could have wished for. Sweeping issues under the rug only leave them for another day when the number of undressed issues is now larger and the potential conflict equally larger. Church boards are often guilty of this. The thinking is that "If we ignore the issues, they will go away." They don't go away. In fact, they get worse, and when you finally do confront them, they are now larger issues than they were.

Four: When we engage in passive-aggressive behavior, hiding our true thoughts and allowing them to emerge in other ways creates even greater conflict because it is disingenuous. This strategy is all too common, and it creates relational chaos since one thing is said, but another thing is lived out. 

Five: When we lie about the conflict or issues that are causing division to get our way, we create larger issues in the future when the truth comes out. This tactic is not uncommon if one wants to create sympathy for their own point of view. However, eventually, truth prevails, and at that point, we now lose our own credibility.

There are many ways to create conflict by avoiding it. There is no upside to not putting issues on the table. We may think there is, but our strategies to avoid conflict actually make even deeper conflict inevitable. Boards and staff teams are guilty of this all the time, and it does not yield healthy results.

Characteristics of Gracious Leaders

 

I love meeting gracious leaders. There is a quality that endears them to insiders and outsiders alike. Moreover, they possess essential characteristics that all leaders can emulate and learn from. Here are some of the most important.

When they are with you, they focus on the conversation rather than thinking about other things. Being present in the moment when with others is a discipline that says, "You are important," and "I am interested in what you are saying." Too many leaders do not allow themselves to be fully present but are obviously thinking about other things.

Gracious leaders like to listen and ask questions. In other words, they focus outwardly on others rather than inwardly on themselves. As a result, they engage in your life, your ministry, your family, and you!

Gracious leaders are generous in their praise, thanks, and appreciation and sparing in criticism. When they need to press into an issue, they do it gently and clearly, but you always get the sense that they care about you and want you to succeed.

They don't hold grudges and have short memories of adverse events in the past. Gracious leaders have a way of focusing on the positive while not ignoring the negative. They keep short accounts, let you know what they think even when course corrections are needed, and then move on.

The language of gracious leaders is uplifting, encouraging, and life-giving. That last quality is critical. Think about those you interact with that discourage or drain you. Gracious leaders are the opposite. After interactions with them, you are filled and encouraged because gracious leaders are life givers rather than life takers. You want to be around them as a result.

Gracious leaders may be busy, but they are never too busy to take the time to stop, acknowledge others, and interact with them. As a result, they give the impression that their staff and constituency are supremely important and do so because it is genuinely true as outward-focused individuals.

Gracious leaders can be generous with others because they are comfortable in their own skin and at home with themselves. In other words, they have paid attention to their own hearts and inner lives, and as a result, that healthy inner life spills out into their relationships with others. Their graciousness is a discipline (how I treat others) and a habit (because they are internally healthy). 

In many ways, the Fruit of the Spirit encompasses the character of a gracious leader. It is a worthwhile exercise for leaders to regularly ask themselves if their relationships are characterized by the fruit of love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. The more we focus on these and develop our inner lives around them, the more gracious we will become.

Don't allow these issues to derail your great leadership

It is possible to have effective leadership skills and still undermine one's leadership. And this is not only a risk for young leaders for often for leaders that have seen significant success. 

Hubris. This should be obvious, but it isn't always! Success breeds confidence, and that confidence can cause us to overestimate our wisdom and underestimate our need for counsel. This can creep up on us over time without our realizing it until we are no longer open to the input of others, which eventually comes back to bite us.

Schedule. Good leaders are in demand. That demand can cause us to say yes too often and no too seldom. Busyness wears us down, tires our bodies and minds, and robs us of thinking time and even time with God. Schedule erosion eventually catches up to us in negative ways.

Entitlement. Successful leaders can start believing that the rules don't apply to them as to others. One of the ways this often plays out is in behaviors that they would not allow others to exhibit but which they feel they can. This may be carelessness in treating others in words or attitudes or taking staff for granted. Because they have the positional authority, they often get away with behaviors that they shouldn't, but by doing so, they lose the respect of their staff.

Laziness. Many leaders who saw success in one period of life lose their edge in another because they no longer feel the need to stay sharp, learn new skills, and understand the changing environment around them. This can result from out-of-control schedules or hubris, but whenever we stop being intentional in our development, we begin to lose our ability to lead well.

Health. I understand this and have had to become deeply intentional about addressing my health issues. When we don't, those issues often compromise our energy and our ability to carry out our leadership roles. In the second half of life, this is one that leaders must become more intentional about if they are going to go the distance.

Transformation. It is what God wants to do in our hearts, thinking, priorities (lifestyle), and relationships, and it is a lifelong process. I love the comment my brother made at my father's funeral service. "He was not a perfect man, but he kept getting better." Cooperating with the Holy Spirit to become everything God made us to be and to become more and more like Jesus is one of the prime responsibilities of leaders who model transformation for others. When we lose our intentionality here, others notice, and it sabotages our leadership.

Clarity. Lack of personal and leadership clarity leaves our staff and us without focus. No matter how brilliant one is, a lack of focus confuses those we lead. Life should be a journey toward ever greater clarity about what God wants us to do (and alternatively not do), what our priorities should be (and there should be only a few), and what the target is for our work (without which our staff will lack direction). 

Discipline. No amount of brilliance makes up for the lack of discipline in our lives. Our personal discipline reflects our understanding of God's call on our lives and our commitment to stewarding the gifts He has given for maximum impact. Lack of discipline communicates a carelessness about that stewardship. 

Jesus. Life is not about us but about Him. It is easy to forget that and focus on our things rather than His. But, whenever we take our eyes off Him, we start to sink as Peter did when He left the boat to be with Him. To the extent that we lose that focus, we hurt our leadership - and ourselves.

What sabotages your leadership? It can be one of these, or it can be other things. Being sensitive to whatever it is will allow us to go the distance.

Seven signs of a closed and dysfunctional ministry system to be wary of

 

I spoke recently with a ministry leader who had resigned from his church staff position (a large church) because of the dysfunctional culture that he sensed. Having left the "system," he now realizes that it was a great deal more dysfunctional than he thought, and he is so glad to be out of it. When we are in a "closed" system that is dysfunctional or toxic, we may sense that not all is right, but it is when we get out that we realize how dysfunctional it was. This applies to staff systems as well as whole congregations where there is significant dishealth. Such dysfunction can be part of the historic DNA of the church, a dysfunctional board, a dysfunctional leader, or a "church boss" who wields unhealthy power and has a personal agenda.

These same dynamics play out on church boards!

What are some of the signs of a closed and dysfunctional ministry system?

One: There is great pressure for people to think in similar ways and not to have independent voices. In closed systems, independent opinions that go against the "group think" are a threat and are not valued. Often, independent thinkers in ministries are either labeled as troublemakers or spiritually immature. Certainly, it is not safe to disagree significantly.

Two: Questions about the status quo are seen as disloyalty. This is especially true for senior leaders who are insecure and do not like their paradigms or opinions to be questioned. As long as one keeps the party line, you are "in." If you ask hard questions, you are marginalized.

Three: Candid dialogue is not allowed. Usually, it is the senior leader who sets the tone here. In closed systems, candid dialogue is a threat rather than a valued part of the culture. The reason is that such dialogue will inevitably challenge the standard line.

Four: In closed systems, senior leaders often protect themselves from accountability or questions. They hide behind a spiritual veil that sounds good but keeps people from getting too close. And they surround themselves with people who will agree with them and those who don't usually don't stay: either because they know how dysfunctional it is or they are marginalized or let go. 

Five: When independent voices appear, or when someone steps out of the prevailing culture, there is great pressure put on them to get in line and conform to the standard opinions. It is a family system thing, and any threat to the prevailing culture brings pressure for conformity. Those who are deeply vested put pressure on independent voices to conform and get back in line.  This is why, in dysfunctional staff situations and congregations, independent thinkers often leave. They see the system for what it is and know it is unhealthy.

Six: In closed systems, those who leave are marginalized and become non-entities. People in the system don't talk to those who left the system and are seen as disloyal. It is no different than a dysfunctional family (family system theory), where there is a high level of pressure to ensure that people conform, and when they don't, they are left outside by themselves.

Seven: The most telling moment for those who get out of such systems is how free they feel once they are out of it. And even though they knew it was unhealthy, they realized once out how unhealthy it was. Those who leave are also a threat to those who stay, who, at some level, feel that those leaving are not loyal. They have violated the family system.

If any of these characteristics are true of your staff or the ministry, you are to consider the possibility that you are caught in a closed and dysfunctional system. None of this has anything to do with a healthy church, staff, or board. Nor the love of Jesus. It is simply an unhealthy and dysfunctional family system played out in a congregation. And it happens all too frequently. Once out, people recognize how toxic it was. 

Key lessons I have learned about leadership along the way

 

Learning to lead well is learned the hard way over time. I took time recently to consider what I know today that I needed to understand better as a young leader. It is a long list that simply says how little I knew about good leadership as a young leader. The raw stuff was there, but there was and is much to learn. If you fit that young leader category, these may be things to consider.

• Many issues are not as urgent as I think they are. Relax, and don't equate all issues to having the same urgency. 

• Flexibility is critical for good leadership. Most of life is not black and white; compromise is essential to getting things done. 

• Necessary or desired changes do not need to take place immediately. As a leader, I can only move as fast as those I lead can follow. I need to be patient and sensitive in leading through change.

• I don't need to take differences personally. It is about the mission, not about me. Pushback and disagreements are healthy if we can come to healthy solutions.

• The key to everything is relationships. It pays to develop relationships even with those who disagree with me. Mutual respect and understanding come through relationships.

• Anxiety is wasted energy. Don't worry about things that one cannot control. The worst is unlikely to happen anyway.

• I can be wrong, and it does not hurt my leadership. Develop a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose attitude," and one gains freedom.

• Just be me. I cannot lead like anyone else. God made me who He made me; I need to lead from who He created me to be. Learn to be comfortable in one's own skin.

• Don't die on anthills! It is painful and unnecessary. There are some hills to die on, but only a few. Be wary of which one you take your stand on.

• Don't judge motives. We usually don't know what they are, and almost always, when we attribute poor motives to others, we are wrong.

• Relationships are everything. Influence comes through relationships, so press into those hard with those one needs to work with, even if they seem to be detractors. 

• I should never measure myself against others. That is a false measurement. I should measure my progress and whether I am better today than yesterday. 

• My own inner life must take precedence over all other things. The healthier I am emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, the better my leadership. The inner life always comes first.

• I don't need to change the world - and I cannot. What God does want me to do is influence my small corner of the world.

• God is sovereign. When I carry around great anxiety and worry, I try to do His job. I can relax knowing that He is always ultimately in control.

• Not all things get fixed on this side of heaven. God is always sovereign, but He does not force people, and there are situations and people issues that I will not be able to fix.

• Humility is at the core of all good leadership. Arrogance and thinking more of myself than I should get me into trouble. We all overestimate our gifts and importance and underestimate our faults and shadow side.

• Emotional intelligence matters a lot. The more I grow my EQ, my relationships, leadership, and personal health improve.

• God died for the Bride and not the brand. God wants me to focus on His kingdom, not my evangelical brand. I should appreciate all of his players and not just a few.

• I don't need to compete but to be faithful. I am not in competition with others but instead called to be faithful to what He wants me to do. 

• It is OK that not everyone likes me. In fact, if everyone likes me, I am probably not leading well. Popularity is not the end goal of leadership.

• I am only good at a few things. It is how God created me (Ephesians 2:10) and is why I need others around me. Their gifts make up for my many deficits.

• I can never give enough credit away. As a leader, I give credit to the team and take responsibility for the failures. It is what leaders do.

• God can guard my reputation. This means I don't need to - even when people are obnoxious or hurtful.

• If I am threatened by others, that is my problem, not theirs. The question is, "Why do they threaten me, and what does that say about my inner health?" To the extent that I lack personal security, I must press into those EQ issues.

• Perceived failures are usually just growth opportunities. What we define as a failure, God is simply using to grow us into who He wants us to be.

• God can superintend my ministry path. He knows where I will be most valuable and influential. I don't need to seek success but be faithful to where He has called me.

• Position does not equal influence. I can have as much influence as He wants me to have from whatever position or platform God' gives.

• Success must be measured from His rather than the world's perspective. God does not measure success the way the world does. My job is to use the gifts and opportunities He puts in front of me for maximum Kingdom advantage. 

‘Christian America’ Isn’t Dying. It’s Dividing. From Christianity Today

 

‘Christian America’ Isn’t Dying. It’s Dividing.