Managing our strengths and liabilities

Because many individuals have not understood that their greatest assets (strengths) can also be their greatest liabilities, they simply don’t pay the kind of attention to the downside of their strengths that they need to if they are truly going to have significant influence. However, people of deep influence are acutely aware of both their strengths and the liabilities of those strengths. And they pay as much or more attention to the liabilities as they do to the strength.


Think about this: our strengths are just that – strengths. Over time, if we are living in our sweet spot they grow and develop without a whole lot of attention from us. God wired us with those strengths so they are natural. I have the ability and strength to think strategically. I can envision what can be in five or ten years without even thinking about it. What is hard or impossible for others is easy and second nature for me in thinking strategically.

The liabilities that comes with that particular gift, however are not as obvious to me: impatience with those who don’t see what I can see, the potential that others may see my confidence about what direction to take as arrogance.

I will never forget a meeting I had years ago with a bright young woman who reported to me. She came into my office to share an idea with me that she thought had great potential. About two minutes into our conversation her eyes flashed with anger and she said, “Don’t ever look that way at me again?” I said, “What do you mean? What way?” She said, “I can tell from your eyes that you have already dismissed my idea as one that won’t work!” She was right, my eyes had given it away and in the process my strategic strength (in this case I was sure it would not work) had become my liability by sending her a message of disempowerment. It was a learning moment that I had to apologize for and learn from.

Our strengths come naturally. The liabilities to our strengths are not obvious to us unless we spend significant time understanding the liabilities and the ways our strengths can hurt us and others if the liabilities are not managed.

Further, people of deep influence do not become that by focusing on the deficits of others but on their own deficits primarily. They are deeply aware of who they are, they think deeply about their own motivations and how they treat others. They have developed an inner early warning system that warns them when they are going to the shadow side and they discipline themselves to manage their liabilities. They understand the council of Christ that we are first responsible for taking the log out of our own eye before we try to take the splinter out of someone else’s eye.

Every one of us has areas in our lives where we are blind to how our actions impact others. A large part of managing our shadow side is understanding not only how we perceive ourselves but how other perceive us and why they perceive us the way they do. However, because we are dealing with “blind spots” the only way we can get to this awareness is by receiving feedback from others. And that requires self confidence, humility and a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude. This is why many young leaders resist such feedback, it is threatening and uncomfortable. I know, I have been there!

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned over the years is to welcome and not resist feedback – particularly from those who I know love me and have my best interests in mind. My wife, Mary Ann is one of those who will always tell me the truth and I know she does it out of love and concern. I have a trusted group of colleagues and friends who have the same right to speak into my life and whose council I trust. I would rather know than not know where I have blind spots or am being misperceived because of actions or words than live like the emperor who had no clothes, oblivious to his nakedness. The key, of course, is knowing who one can trust to have one’s best interests in mind. Another one of those groups is my prayer team who regularly share with me feedback that they have as they have interceded on my behalf.

I have also learned to ask feedback from those I trust rather than just hope it will come. I know, for instance, that I can be perceived as distant by some. It is not how I feel but it can be how I am perceived. I would not know that unless I had received feedback that helped me see what I could not see. Knowing that such a perception is possible, I can work to find ways to connect with those who otherwise might see me as distant.

I have learned that the more candid I am about who I am and the struggles I face, the more approachable I become. This has led me to be far more self disclosing with those around me than I was as a young leader when I thought that such self disclosure could be seen as weakness. It also comes out of a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude by which I seek to live today. While I may not be wired like some who are deeply relational, the connection that comes through authentic self disclosure is a powerful connection and invites relationship with others.

My point is that the more we learn about ourselves both from our own awareness and from those around us who care about us, the better we become at playing to our strengths and minimizing our liabilities. There are many things I wish I knew years ago but did not. I am simply thankful that I know them now. And, I want to continue in my quest for healthy self awareness for the sake of the influence that I can and want to have in the future.

Ministry teams that work, or don't

Ministry teams are great - when they work. Sometimes, however, they don't but they never seem to die once established. We are often far more careless in the ministry world on the building and leadership and mission of teams than we would be in the secular world. Just because someone has a great idea or wants to start or lead a team is not enough to let them do so. As you consider ministry teams in your context here are some issues to think through.

Do you have a good leader?
Whether we like it or not a team rises or falls on whether the one who leads it can actually lead. The definition of a leader is that when they look behind them someone is following! Good leaders can build team, inspire vision, implement strategy and ensure that the team is actually effective. Even with the best idea, until one has a good leader, don't start a ministry team.

Does the ministry team have a plan?
Good intentions are just that. What matters is that the intentions can be translated into a workable plan that meets real needs. Asking for an annual ministry plan from a team is just smart leadership. It forces them to think carefully about what they are going to do so that they accomplish their objectives. No plan, no team!

Is the ministry in sync with the overall ministry?
Churches, especially, are notorious for adding a hodgepodge of ministries without any real alignment. The ministry of the team ought to complement and be in sync with the overall ministry of the church or organization. All arrows need to be pointed in the same direction for a ministry to be most effective. Asking the question, how does your particular ministry complement the ministry of the organization is an important one.

What spells success for the ministry team?
If a team cannot define success they don't have a plan! Even in ministry we need to know what success looks like. I have seen many teams spin their wheels for long periods of time not really accomplishing anything. If there is a definition of success, they have a target to shoot for and you have a way to evaluate their effectiveness. That should be done at least annually.

What is your exit strategy?
Sunset clauses are great things. It is one thing to start a ministry team, quite another to close one down! It is helpful to have a written policy for how teams and ministries are evaluated and how you can disband them when their usefulness is no longer there, when energy lags, or when good leadership is not available. Having the liberty to shut down a ministry team is as important for leaders as the liberty to start them.

How do you celebrate success?
When teams work hard and accomplish something significant, how do you hold them up, thank them, celebrate their accomplishments and encourage them? We are often great at guilting people into serving and not so great at thanking them for their service. Faithful and effective team members need to be encouraged and thanked.

What is your plan for recruiting new team members?
There is a natural cycle of ministry, rest and ministry again. People often cannot serve forever. Yet it is often hard for them to take a break or move on to something new because there is a shortage of help. One of the functions of a team leader is to ensure that there are new people waiting in the wings or being recruited so that others can take a rest.

What do you do when a team leader hijacks the team?
This happens. You get a strong leader who has his or her own agenda and suddenly the team is doing its own thing but is not in sync or accountable to the leadership of the organization. Spelling out leader responsibilities ahead of time (there should be a document) gives you the opportunity to pull people back into alignment if they try to go on their own. Or to remove them if necessary from leadership.

Healthy ministry teams drive God's agenda in numerous way. Getting it right so they work make a huge difference.

Pay now or pay more later

I recently had an interesting conversation with a leader from a church of about 500. Their senior pastor had left and they wanted outside counsel to help determine whether a recent staff hire would be suitable to serve as the next senior leader. Their desire is to become a regional church of several thousand - which they may have the potential to be.

I agreed to help them and laid out a suggested process which included some testing to determine the wiring of the potential new senior leader. It was about $2,000. After board discussion they decided they didn't want to spend the money on testing - it was too expensive. In turn, I suggested that I was not the right person to help them.

This board is making a classic mistake. They are hoping for the right fit but are unwilling to make the small investment to determine that fit. In trying to save a few dollars they put their future at risk because if the fit is not right it is very painful to undo.

There is a principle at play here in hiring. You either pay now to determine whether an individual is the right one for the spot you are hiring for - or you pay more later - in pain, frustration or severance. Which is wiser? As one who has had to deal with poor fits on a number of occasions I know how painful it is to move someone out of a position where they didn't fit.

Getting the right fit is hard enough. Complicating it by not doing due diligence when one can is foolish - but frequently done. I hope my friends get it right! On becoming a regional church of several thousand? Unlikely with that kind of thinking.

Seven questions every ministry ought to ask themselves

Do we think too small?
Most ministries do. They are so used to what is that they don't ask what could be. In addition, they often ignore the fact that if they changed how they did what they did that they could see exponentially larger ministry results. Ministry results are not dependent on our size or budget but on strategies of multiplication rather than addition. Changing how we think can directly impact our results.

Do we underestimate the power of the Gospel?
Too many of us do. The simple Gospel message has the power to change hearts and lives and communities through the work of the Holy Spirit. It is so simple that we often think we need to make it more sophisticated. There is nothing sophisticated about the Gospel. It is the power of God to change lives and bring salvation (Romans 1:16).

Do we think too narrowly?
Paradigms can be limiting factors for all of us. For many years the organization I lead said it was a church planting mission - pretty much exclusively. When we opened ourselves up to a holistic ministry focus of Gospel transformation and holistic ministries we saw our impact dramatically increase. We had been thinking too narrowly. 

Is our vision molded by caution or faith?
Caution is plague among ministries. We are so careful that we don't mess things up that we often don't step out in faith and try bold things. I am not talking foolish things but bold things. ReachGlobal is praying that God would allow it to impact one hundred million people with the Gospel and see 100 Acts 19 situations arise where the gospel penetrates a city or region, not just a neighborhood. That is a faith goal that forces us to not only live by faith but to boldly try strategies that will get us there. 

Is our expectation molded by pessimism or optimism?
Paul says in Ephesians 4:20 that "God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Do we really believe that? I meet many people who have very modest expectations of what God can and will do. I choose optimism over pessimism every time because it is a out God and His power that actually works within us.

Do we underestimate God power in us?
Most believers do. We don't fully grasp His power working within us or believe that He can use ordinary people for extraordinary things. But God always works through ordinary people who understand His power and are ready to put their lives at His disposal and believe that He will infuse their efforts with His power.

Do we work too independently of others?
Most ministries do. Sometimes we are arrogant and think that we can do it alone, sometimes afraid to enter into strategic partnerships, sometimes our theological framework is too narrow to understand that the Gospel transcends our usually minor theological differences. Whatever the reason, until we value the Bride over our brand we will not see the ministry results that God envisions for our world.

Those we ride with

Mary Ann and I are deeply blessed with a set of "friends for life" with whom we share life! Some of these friendships date back some 20 years or longer and all of them are deeply significant to Mary Ann and me. No words can adequately express the love and appreciation we have for these friends who share our lives and we theirs.

These friends for life have molded us, prayed for us, shared their lives with us and who we are today is directly influenced by who they are. They have left an indelible mark on our lives and hearts and we are better for them.

The New Testament has much to say about "one another." There is nothing superficial about the relationships it describes. I think of those who shared the life of Paul through his travels, trials and difficulties. They were his encouragement through many dark days and their friendship held up one of the most remarkable ministries in Christian history. They share His reward in heaven.

Those who ride alone in life - with superficial relationships - are poorer for it. Not only can I not ride alone, I am deeply in need of my life long fellow pilgrims and will do what ever it takes to stay connected with them. They are are huge priority because they are deeply important in our lives.

Who are you riding with? Do you make your fellow riders a priority? Are you a good fellow traveller as you minister to them as they minister to you? Never take them for granted!

Passive aggressive behavior is a prime form of dishonesty

Passive aggressive behavior is something all of us should be conscious of and ensure that we don't engage in it. Unfortunately it is all too common and is in my view a prime form of dishonesty.

It is dishonesty because the one engaging in this behavior says one thing to your face - usually indicating assent and agreement or cordiality while in reality they don't mean it. And, to others they may express just the opposite or simply do exactly what they indicated to you they would not do. That is dishonesty. It is also cowardice because they are unwilling to simply tell yo that they don't agree - which could lead to a constructive dialogue and some level of understanding. Instead they essentially lie about what they actually feel and undermine you behind your back.

What is crazy making about passive aggressive behavior is that it is duplicity but a duplicity that is very hard to address because the problematic behaviors are engaged in with others or when you are not present. This is particularly sad among Christians in ministry whose yes should be yes and whose no should be no. It is no less dishonesty than stealing from one's employer or lying on one's tax return. It is dishonest - period.

It may take courage but stating one's position openly and honestly (hopefully with diplomacy) is critical to healthy relationships. The ability to state what one thinks even when it goes against the grain is a sign of healthy EQ. At least at that point there is the possibility of a discussion even if agreement cannot be reached. Not stating it and acting passive aggressively leaves no room for discussion but creates chaos in relationships which is what dishonesty by definition does. The irony is that after a season, the fact that one does not agree (even if one will not admit it) becomes evident in their behaviors.

As a leader I respect those who state their opinions diplomatically even when they disagree with mine. I have no respect for those who lie to me and then engage in passive aggressive behaviors. It is not honest and it is duplicitous. 

In the Image

I remember how proud and excited I was the day I brought my oldest son, Jon, home from the hospital. Everything had changed. I drove more carefully, I was protective of my baby and Mary Ann, a new sense of responsibility enveloped me.

As he began to grow and develop I started to recognize some of me in Him and it warmed my heart. Jon is a combination of Mary Ann and me, in many ways he is our image even though he is a unique individual in his own right

Any mother knows the awesome miracle of a child that has come from her womb. Here is “flesh from my flesh.” The bond between mother and child is a deep and profound one.

There is a mystery in creation that will remain a mystery until we see God face to face. When He chose to create men and women, why did He choose to create them after His own image? Here is God, the one who has no beginning and no end, who is three persons in one, living in perfect unity and fellowship (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit), who is divine, holy (morally pure), transcendent (above all things), sovereign (has all power), and yet he chooses to make men and women in His image! None of the rest of creation was made in His image – just men and women.

In making us in His image, God gave to us a dignity, an importantance, a kinship with Him that is unique and unparalleled. Just as Jon has “me” in Him, God planted something of “Him” in us that made us unique, important, precious to Him.

We are not random creatures here by fate to be buffeted by the capricious winds of history. We are men and women, precious to God, known by God, and made in His very image.

What does it mean that we were made in His image?

First it meant that we could have intimate relationship and fellowship with the eternal God of the universe and more astonishingly He desired (and still does) that relationship. Just as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit have fellowship with each other, we can have fellowship with one another and with Him.

Second, we were created with a moral dimension unlike the rest of creation. We were created with the ability to choose holy and moral actions over immoral and evil actions. That is why, even after the fall, we sense guilt and shame when we do something we know to be wrong. We have a built in moral compass, affected by the fall but whose residue remains.

Third, we have a desire to connect with God. You see that desire wherever you travel in the world whether it is Buddhists trying to achieve a higher level of consciousness, Hindu’s seeking to please or appease one of the forty million plus Gods of Hinduism, some capricious and some good, the world is Islam seeking to achieve paradise, animists trying to appease the spirits in the rocks, hills and trees or even new age varieties where some kind of connection with the divine and eternal is the goal.

That desire to connect is nothing other than the residue of a perfect creation, now marred by sin but where the dim perfection of the original creation still echoes down through humanity in a yearning for relationship with the transcendent.

All of this can be summed up by a certain majesty and glory that God created when he created men and women. Which is why the fall and the destruction brought by sin is so sad. The thief came to destroy all that God created and we are infected and affected by sin and the fall.

What we cannot lose sight of is the amazing dignity that God created in men and women in his original creation and his still undying love for his creation that would motivate him never to abandon even sinful creatures.

There is nothing God will not do to win his creatures back – those made in his image – including the death of His own son on the cross to pay our penalty and restore our relationship.

That is what we mean to Him. That is why there is no sin He will not willingly forgive, no guilt He will not willingly remove, no life he will not gladly redeem. He wants us back. We were meant for Him and He love you and me with an undying, amazing and eternal love.

If you are a parent you know something about that kind of love. What would you not do for your son or daughter, made in your image? Even when they go their own way, do their own thing, inflict pain on parents, we want them back, we love them dearly – they are ours.

We are God’s and he loves us with that same parental, undying love, even when we stray and cause His heart pain. Why does God love us? Why will God intervene on our behalf? Why does He welcome even prodigals back and welcome them warmly? He made us for fellowship with Himself. He made us in His image. He loves us with an undying love.

It only takes a few bad leaders to destroy the vision of many

The story of numbers 13 is deeply instructive for any ministry organization. As you remember, the spies were sent into the promised land to survey it prior to the Isrealites taking it. On return, two of the spies gave a favorable report while ten did not. Those ten said it was an impossible job to take the land. The people were too big, the cities too fortified and the land to vast. Never mind that God had promised it to them and said that He would go before them as he had so many times before already.

What is scary is that it took only ten individuals to sway the vast majority of the people who then refused to follow God and ended up causing everyone to wander in the desert for 40 years. Hundreds of thousands of people suffered because of ten individuals who refused to follow God or believe his promises, and these were leaders no less.

Ministry success always depends on leaders who are willing to courageously follow Christ and believe that He will take them to the places He wants them to go. Negative leaders, scared leaders, tentative leaders, easily swayed leaders, leaders of little faith - none of these should be leaders in God's Kingdom. Like the leaders in Moses day they will hurt rather than help those whom they lead.

Ministries do way too little to guard the leadership door against those who do not belong. Who you have in leadership matters a lot. The wrong leaders exact a spiritual price on those they lead while good leaders do the opposite. It only takes a few bad leaders to derail an organization.

In almost every ministry meltdown or church conflict I have watched it was the failure of a few leaders to act with wisdom and vision that caused the problems. Who paid the price of their bad leadership? Everyone else!

When Christian leaders get angry

Few things are more destructive to God's work than angry Christian leaders. First, when God's leaders get angry, they often lose all the grace, wisdom and principles they have taught for decades.

I remember one such angry leader when he realized that he had lost the confidence of the board of his church, blew up and threatened not to leave (he had a zero confidence vote) and said he was willing to see the church of 500 go down to 150 if necessary - with him there. This from someone who had taught in that congregation Biblical principles for over a decade. Everyone around him is shaking their heads (except those he roped into his cause) wondering what snapped in his thinking to even consider such a scenario.

The same can be said for pastors who get into conflict in their churches and choose to plant another church in the community knowing full well that they will split the church they are leaving. Somehow the "ill treatment" they experienced gives them the rationale for now splitting the Bride of Christ and believing it is OK. It is as if a key spiritual discernment fuse blew in his anger and what would have been wrong a year ago is now not only right but the spiritual thing to do. Contrast this with the response of Jesus when he was treated unfairly!

I heard recently of a leader who has left his large church after a disagreement with his leaders - he didn't want to be under their authority anymore - who is telling folks that he is going to start a rival church in town and take a large portion of those who were in his prior church. If one of his own leaders had suggested such a thing in  the past this leader would have immediately put them under church discipline but somehow in his "righteous" anger he is now willing to violate everything he had said was wrong previously - and spiritualize and justify it.

Anger in spiritual leaders can easily lead to irrational, sinful, destructive behaviors where spiritual discernment and wisdom are thrown off and behaviors they once considered abhorrent are now OK for them. Frankly it is scary to watch. It is like watching King Saul implode after he chose to go his own way rather than follow God in the Old Testament. I have recently watched such an implosion and watched a friend who for years exhibited spiritual discernment go in the absolute opposite direction like one making a right turn. It makes me wary of my own spiritual health and the need to stay current with God and not allow my own flesh to decide the rules no longer apply to me.

One other observation. When this happens it seems that spiritual leaders have stopped listening to those who gave them wise counsel in the past and now only listen to those who fuel their new irrational behaviors. It is scary to watch because it could be any one of us in Christian leadership who choose to walk down an angry and self righteous path. A path that the evil one seems to use to destroy much of the good that they had accomplished in the past.

When dreams are shattered

It is a great gift to come to the place where we have nowhere else to turn than to God - because in the end He is what we really need and is the only One who can resolve many of the issues we face!

That is the gift that shattered dreams gives us. They force us back to the One who has our destiny in His hands, they give us the choice of turning either to bitterness or to faith, and call the question on where our security lies. Each of these is a great gift from God if we choose to respond by moving closer to God.

That is a big IF. I meet those who allow their disappointment to move them toward diminished dreams, bitterness toward God and others and a quiet resignation that this is all there will be.

Then I meet those who allow their need to build character, deepen their trust in God, re-group and rather than live with resignation, boldly fight back with the hope that comes from faith in God.

What makes the difference?

The difference comes back to how we see God. Is He truly trustworthy? Is He truly good? Can I really trust Him with my life and destiny? Do I believe that He has greater purposes for my life than I can always understand? Can He redeem pain for His glory and my benefit?

If I can say yes to those questions I will be on a path toward growth, maturity and healing that will profoundly change me. If I cannot say yes to those questions, confusion or bitterness will be the path.

The key is understanding God and that takes time in His word and in His presence. Those who make that investment have a stockpile of strength and understanding and faith that carry them through the dark days. Those who don't - don't.

Through a glass darkly

I am often intrigued by those who are so sure of themselves on all theological arguments and their application to our daily lives. I wish I could be one of them! However, I realize that my view of God and his ways are at best distant and fuzzy. He is so grand and His ways so far above mine that while I see, I see through a glass darkly - making out the outline but often not much more.

He is wonderfully and powerfully inscrutable!

As Job argued with his "friends" (who wants friends like he had), he thought that he had a pretty good idea of what God should be doing with his situation. Yet even after God demolished the "wisdom" of his friends, he too, endured the rebuke of God, for his views too, were deficient.

As the opening salvo of God to Job cogently said, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" (Job 38).

After four chapters of rebuke, Job replies to the Lord in chapter 42, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things to wonderful for me to know."

Nothing develops true humility faster than trying to understand the awesome, holy, transcendent God! What we think we know, we know only in part. What we think we understand is understood through a glass darkly. One day when it is clear the landscape will be so amazing we will never get over it. Today we live by simple faith, in humble relationship with our wonderful God.

The single most important decision we make

The single most important decision we make is the decision as to how we will leave our ministry when our time is up. It is more important than the decision to come and it is more important than many of the decisions we make along the way. Because this final decision has the ability to hurt and destroy all that we have built and this decision reveals our true character. Will we do all that we can to uphold the Bride as we leave or will we do something to hurt the bride on the way out! And whatever choice we make, it cannot be undone.

As a church board member and organizational leader I have watched people make both very good and very poor decisions on how they exited their ministries. 

I have had people come and say, "T.J", I sense it is time for me to go and I want to do everything I can to make this a seamless, God honoring transition that blesses the organization and leaves it ready for the one who takes my place.

I have had others who came with demands and indicated that if those demands were not met they would do all they could to hurt the organization on their way out. And I watched some who did just that. Their bitterness drove ungodly behavior which undid much of what they had done during their tenure. 

How we leave is a test of our true character. Those who try to hurt a ministry or its leaders on the way out reveal a bitter spirit and heart that is willing to see God's work compromised in order to justify their own sinful behavior.

Contrast this with Paul who knew that some people preached out of envy and rivalry and even selfish ambition but "what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice (Philippians 1:18)."

No matter what the circumstances with which we leave we always have a choice. To be gracious for the sake of the One we serve and His Bride. Or to be bitter and divisive because we can. The first reflects the Spirit while the second reflect the flesh in all of its sinfulness. How we leave is a test and a reflection of our true character. 

Ministry Briefings from Todd Rhoads and Matt Steen

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Your freedom is a threat to my legalism

That is a great quote that I heard recently. The Scriptures give us an amazing amount of freedom in choices we make. Yet there are always professional legalists lurking in the background ready to pounce on those who make choices they would not make. These are not the "innocent" who will be hurt by our lifestyle decisions but legalists who are threatened by our liberty and who believe that others should make the choices they make - restrictive ones which is the nature of legalism.

The funny thing is that their legalism is not a threat to our liberty! Those who live in freedom are not threatened by legalism: Indeed they find it repulsive and sad.

In the early days of my tenure as leader of ReachGlobal we changed some policies that had a legalistic cast to them. Everyone cheered me on - except a few legalists who were deeply threatened by the change. Even though we had not asked them to change their individual convictions the fact that we were no longer legislating those convictions on everyone was a threat to them. Some actually left the organization because of it. Legalists like to impose their view on others. Those who live in freedom give others the choice to make decisions that Scripture leaves grey and up to individual conscience.

Why? Because Christian freedom is always a threat to legalism. It questions the premises of rules, regulations, expectations, that some like to place around themselves and others. Christian freedom means we have choices to make and many legalists don't like either that freedom or responsibility. The freedom Jesus lived in was highly irritating to the Pharisees whose rules He broke with regularity.

I chooses to live on the side of Christian freedom. It may be a threat to my fellow legalists but their legalism is never a threat to my freedom. In fact it reminds me often of the joy of freedom.

Handling stress in a healthy manner

Stress is debilitating condition. It robs us of joy, sleep, peace, concentration, causes changes in our body that can affect our health and is strong enough to lead to a shortened life! Many of us live unnecessarily with high levels of stress - especially in ministry.

Stress has many causes but at its core it is caused by something or somebody which is a danger to our well-being, to the well being of something or someone we care about.

For instance, because I love my organization or church, a threat to their health can be a cause of stress. If there is a danger to someone I love (disease, a marriage coming apart and so on) I can equally live with a level of stress.

By itself, stress is a good thing in that it can be an early warning system to us that something is not right and needs attention. However, if not managed well it can lead to inappropriate responses on our part, anger, depression and any number of negative responses.

I want to deal specifically here with stress that is caused by a threat to us individually. It could be someone who is angry with us and wants our hide, a supervisor who is unhappy with our performance, a staff member who has gone negative, or a perceived threat to our well being. As you read this think about the stresses you currently face.

Stress will be with us as long as we are alive but there are tools that we can develop and practice which can help us manage it. Below are some of the tools I have found to be helpful.

First, it is helpful when faced by a threat that causes anxiety to ask the question, what is my part of the equation? If someone wants your hide, is there a way that you have contributed to the others anger? Is there a piece of you that has contributed to their anger? If so, can you de-escalate their emotions by a conversation and trying to come to an understanding. We always have the choice with other people to escalate or de-escalate the passions.

Second, perceived threats tend to loom larger in our minds than they should. It is the fear mechanism that kicks in. Ask yourself, "what is the worst thing that could happen in this situation? Usually the worst thing that could happen is not as bad as our emotions would paint it.

Third, consciously work to "keep anxiety low." I actually say that to myself from time to time. The truth is that the worst that could happen is rarely as bad as what we think. Further, why worry about something that could happen when it has not happened? Keeping our anxiety low is critical because in a state of high anxiety our own responses are likely to be less than healthy in a stressful situation.

Often the worst that will happen is that someone will not like us or will speak ill of us. Unfortunately this is a fact of life - even in ministry. The truth is, however, that our reputation is ultimately in the hands of God. Not us. I don't know anyone who has accomplished something in ministry who does not have their detractors. Ultimately we play to an audience of one: God. If we are motivated by the applause of others we have the wrong audience in mind

Fourth, find counsel. When under stress, our own perspective or response is often not as dispassionate and level as it could be. Bringing a trusted wise adviser into the equation is exceedingly helpful. This is not about lobbying others to take our side or to "get back" at whoever is causing us anxiety. It is quiet, confidential, Godly counsel from someone who can give us perspective and counsel.

Fifth, don't go defensive with the one who is unhappy with you. Defensiveness is never a helpful response. You may not agree with what someone says but a defensive posture is really an attempt to protect oneself, keeps us from listening and is a barrier to communication. Healthy individuals deal with conflict from a non-defensive posture with an attitude of 'nothing to prove, nothing to lose."

What if there is some truth in the accusations against you? Own them. It's OK, none of us respond perfectly. Your willingness to take a non defensive posture will significantly lower the level of anger against you because it is an unexpected response which says, "I am not going to do battle with you."

A non-defensive response, even when accusations are not true from your perspective significantly lowers the level of the conflict and can lead to a conversation with a more dispassionate tone. Even though it is a normal human emotion, defensiveness rarely if ever helps, only hurts.

A non-defensive response can be as simple as "tell me more" about why you feel that way? Or, "share with me what you would have done?"

Sixth, intentionally give the situation to God. The older I get the more I appreciate the sovereignty of God. He ultimately has control of my job, my reputation and the circumstances I face. In fact, many years ago I went through a difficult period when many untrue things about me were intentionally spread. God used that to bring me to where I am now. He has the ability to take even the worst and unfair situations and redeem them for his purposes.

Stress and anxiety are really a test of our faith. Do we believe God is sovereign, that He is good, that He has our best in mind and that even if the worst happened (above) He will still be on the throne and look out for us? Stress asks the question, "Do I really believe what I preach and teach or believe?"

Finally, it is helpful to separate the conflict from who you are. My identity is not in my job (if I feel it is in jeopardy), it is not my reputation (I cannot fully control that), but it is my identity in Christ. Conflict and difficult situations come and go, but my core identity as a member of God's family does not. No one can take that from me - ever.

Stress is an opportunity to trust God, act wisely, de-escalate passions, leave our reputation in God's hands and remember that no one can take away our core identity. If people or life is unfair, God is not. He is good all that time and he is sovereign forever.

Accidental Pharisees

This book will challenge you, irritate you, perhaps make you mad in places but it will certainly cause you to think and evaluate. I highly recommend Larry Osborn's new book. Accidental Pharisees: Avoiding Pride, Exclusivity, and the Other Dangers of Overzealous Faith.

Change and its effect on people

We often wonder why there is such resistance to change. The answer lies in how people are made, and how they are influenced by others in regard to change. In general, people are change-resistant rather than change-friendly.

Those who introduce change are called innovators. Innovators are those who dream up new ways of doing things (2.5% of the population). Those who embrace change first are the early adapters - they see a good idea and adopt it (13.5% of the population). 34% of our population are called the early majority. They are more deliberate in thinking through the innovation but, after consideration, will adapt. Then there are the late majority individuals (also 34%) who will be skeptical of the innovation but eventually respond after seeing the benefits. Finally there are the laggards (traditionalists) who will probably never respond. For Laggards (16%) innovation is a bad thing.

Notice that the percentage of folks who can be labeled as "change-friendly" (innovators and early adapters) is only 16 percent: those who could be labeled as "change-cautious but open" equal 34 percent (early majority); and those who are change-skeptical or change averse equal 50 percent (late majority and laggards). This explains why even the best ideas will be met with caution, skepticism or negativity by the majority of any group.

There is nothing inherently "good or bad" about how people respond to change; it is how they are wired. A lot of obstinate behavior we see regarding change does not come from bad attitudes (although some does) but rather from how people are hard-wired to respond to change.

This illustrates the challenge for leaders to help people move in new directions, knowing that the majority of their people are not in the innovator or early adapter category. Almost any major change you can make is going to be greeted by these responses, at least in the beginning.

The statistics on change come from the groundbreaking work of Everett M. Rogers in his book Diffusion of Innovations, a must read for those who are change agents.

Handing over the keys to ministry

Handing over the keys of ministry to others is one of the hardest things we do whether it is in the development of young leaders, in church ministry or in missions.

A frustration of young leaders the world over is the time it takes for someone to trust them enough to give them significant ministry responsibility. Those of us who are blessed with ministry responsibility often think that our younger leaders are not ready - and we wait - often too long to give them the ministry keys.

In local churches the issue is often whether to hand over ministry responsibility to volunteers. In missions, it is whether to hand over ministry to our national partners. In both cases we are far too slow compared to what happened in the early church.

The result of our caution is often that qualified leaders become disheartened and discouraged while we leave ministry opportunity on the table. In the early church the workers were the new converts who were quickly given appropriate ministry responsibility. After all there was not much of a bench available.

However, the model went back to Christ himself who after three years with His disciples was willing to trust His most precious possession, that which He died for, His church to eleven disciples who were the most improbable individuals from the worlds (or our) point of view.

Jesus was willing to trust the Holy Spirit and these twelve men, knowing that they would screw up from time to time, which they did. Paul did the same thing. He found faithful men and women, built into them while he was in a city and then turned the ministry over to them - trusting them and the Holy Spirit.

One of the principles I have observed in both the local church and on the mission field is that the longer we refuse to turn over the ministry keys, the less likely it is that there will be a successful transition. Our lack of trust fosters an attitude of dependency on the part of those who we lead. The longer we lead the more that dependency grows - unless our younger counterparts break away in frustration to get in the game.

Given the example by Christ and in the early church our reluctance to share ministry responsibility and turn it over to others is an indictment on ourselves. Especially in light of the theology of Ephesians 4:12 where the responsibility of church leaders is to equip others for ministry and to then deploy them.

We can all cite instances when handing over ministry was premature. The key is to start handing over responsibility and see how it is handled. As people prove to be capable and faithful, we hand over more.

The fact that they make mistakes should not deter us. Most of the Epistles in the New Testament are meant to clean up one mess or another, but that did not deter Paul from handing over ministry. Sure stuff happens. But that is the way we learn and leaders grow. That is how we learned and grew! We learn from experience and mistakes along with a few victories.

The best leaders and mentors I know follow the example of Christ and Paul. They find good people, give them responsibility and take a risk. It is always risky but Jesus took a risk with us! Lets be willing to take that risk with others.

Every believer is a theologian

One of the unfortunate results of our western emphasis on education is that we create professional theologians while the average believer knows very little basic theology. Yet, an understanding of God, of His Word and of His desired work in our lives is not the purview of theologians but of each one who follows Him. Every believer is a theologian as one who follows Him. How deep our theology is however, is another matter.

Here is an example. When reading a book the first chapter is pretty important as it sets the stage for everything else the writer has to say. The same is true with Scripture. In Genesis chapters 1 - 3 lay the framework for what God intended for His creation, a world gone wrong and the beginning of His meta story to redeem and ReImage images destroyed in the fall. If we are to understand the rest of the story properly we need to understand the theology in these chapters.

Yet, most believers don't see themselves as part of a bigger story (Ephesians 2:10). For most of us, it is our story we focus on rather than God's story of which we are called to be divine players.

Or take the fact that every man, woman and child is made in His image, tarnished as the image became in the fall. If that is true, how can we marginalize anyone we meet? Every person, no matter how flawed and sinful is made in His Image and is a potential son or daughter of the king. If we understood that fact we might even treat one another in the church with greater kindness: Theology made practical!

How do I share my faith without a basic understanding of theology? It may be why many believers don't. They don't have much to say because they don't understand their God and His plan very well. Yet all of this is within our grasp through the study of His word and the reading of others who study His word (the second must not substitute for the first). 

Paul, a learned man did not shy away from explaining the basics of the faith with theological terms when writing to those who were not learned. His message, and theology was accessible to those who served in Roman government as well as to the cobbler in Corinth. In fact, he assumed that Christ followers must and should understand the basics of their faith and of God. It is when we don't understand that we move away from the way of God (hence the Galatians) and from healthy faith.

When professional theologians (pastors and teachers) do not continually point their people back to Jesus and His word and encourage them to explore Him themselves they do their people a disservice. Every believer, by virtue of being a believer is a theologian. Hopefully we are growing theologians who thirst to know and understand the amazing One who has changed our lives for eternity and who has asked us to join Him in His plan to change a world gone wrong.

Transformed leaders

What does a transformed leader look like? Consider this: Leaders who know who they are in Christ, know what they have been called to do, have the skills to do it and the spiritual character to sustain them.

Knowing who we are in Christ is a a core requirement for spiritual leaders. It is an understanding of His Grace and the ability to live in His grace which allows Christian leaders to create an environment of grace in their ministries. Many ministries lack a culture of grace because their leaders don't know who they are in Christ. It is not enough to have leadership skill. It matters that we lead out of a deep understanding of our position in Christ are living in the daily grace of God.

Transformed leaders also know what they have been called to do. This means that we know how God created and wired us, know what our strengths are and are not and are clear on our personal assignment and priorities. This is about leadership clarity. Many leaders do not have personal clarity (how they are wired) and therefore do not have leadership clarity (what they should be doing). Leaders who do not know what they have been called to do cannot help others understand what their calling is. 

Transformed leaders have the skills to do what they are called to do. While we take this for granted the truth is that many leaders fail to continue to grow and hone their skills. Leaders who continue to grow and develop grow teams and individuals who are growing and developing. 

None of this is possible without the spiritual character to sustain us as leaders. It goes to the hidden practices of Christian leaders: what they are doing behind the scenes to develop their character, stay connected to Christ and living in the power of the Holy Spirit. It is overwhelmingly a lack of spiritual character that causes Christian leaders to fail, burn out and crash. The ongoing development of our hearts, motives, priorities and vision is all related to our connection to Jesus and spills over in all of our leadership and relationships. 

The gift of failure and pain

I was young when I went through the dark night of the soul – four years – my first pastorate. In that four years, my dreams were shattered, my heart was broken, my self worth was nearly destroyed, my reputation vilified by a powerful few. There have been other periods of great pain, none as great as the first but still they tried my soul and tested my faith and calling.

Those periods felt like failure. In reality they were the necessary steps toward success. There is no success without pain for pain, rightly handled is one of the non-negotiables of success and growth.

How thankful I am for them. How deeply I don’t want to repeat them. But failure and pain I have found to be a great gift for through them I have become what I am and without them I would still be what I was.

Faith does not grow in the comfort zone but in the red zone, where we are forced to confront our inability and learn His ability. In fact, it is my conviction that those who know Christ most intimately have learned that intimacy on the anvil of failure, suffering and pain because in the dark night of the soul they have been forced to cry out to God and in doing so, learn that He is sufficient, good, powerful and the only one who can ultimately be the source of our strength.

There is no growth without pain. It may be pain inflicted upon us by others, brought upon us by ourselves, or simply the circumstances of life. One giant of the faith wrote, “God cannot use a person greatly until He has hurt him deeply.” I believe that with all my heart and it is why we should see pain as our friend, not our enemy.  We don’t look for it but we thank God for it. It is the maker of character and faith if we treat it well. It is the maker of bitterness and cynicism if we treat it badly.

It was in pain that I learned to pray for my enemies – a supernatural lesson. It was in pain that I understood that God loved me unconditionally and that there was nothing I could do to make him love me more and nothing I could do to love me less. It was in pain that I learned to empathize with the humanness of others. It was in pain that I learned the grace of Jesus. It was in pain that I learned to live by faith. It was in pain that I understood my human limits and the unlimited goodness of Jesus.

Without pain. Without suffering. Without failure I would be much less than I am today. God grows us in the red zone, not the comfort zone.

Peter understood this well and he was a recipient of great pain and great grace. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trains. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Father, thank you for the gift of failure, pain and suffering. For wrapped in the sorrow of these gifts is an even greater gift of love, mercy, forgiveness, strength, grace and the most precious gift of all,  knowing you more intimately so that we can follow you more closely and love you more deeply

Managing problematic firings or resignations

How does one message the resignation of a staff member when they have chosen to resign because they are not on the same page as the leader or organization - or have been asked to resign for the same reason or for reasons of effectiveness?

All of us who have supervised for a while have probably handled these situations in ways that we wish we could have done differently. But our dumb tax is what helps us figure out what not to do in the future.

There is no perfect way of handling situations like this but here are some things to think about.

We are often tempted to try to paint the resignation in a rosier fashion than is warranted, both to save face for the ministry and the one who is leaving. It is good to be gracious always in our communication. However, if it is well known that there has been either conflict or a problem, messaging the leaving in a rosy fashion can come across as disingenuous to those who know better. In that case it is better to be factual - than to write something that is not true.

Resignations can be problematic both for the ministry and for the one leaving. The first thing I do in these cases is to have a candid discussion with the one leaving as to the implications of how both sides handle the transition. In a ministry, how we handle transitions comes down to not hurting the work God is doing even if we feel we have been ill treated. For a staff member in a church to seek to divide the church in their anger is to hurt the bride of Christ, not a wise thing to do regardless of how we view the circumstances.

The discussion should start with the question, "What will honor God as we walk through the transition?" I have watched staff member handle themselves with great honor and others who have handled themselves with amazing dishonor. How we handle these situations is really a reflection of our character. To the extent that we can control the situation we want to honor God in the process.

If there is bad blood it is wise to sit down with the one leaving and talk about the implications of what both sides say. If you plan to give a severance package it is always a wise thing to tie that severance package to an agreement as to what each side is going to communicate. There is no place for trashing one another in the process and the employer has some pull in that they can tie a severance package to a legally binding agreement as is done in business all the time.

Where there is a belligerent attitude on the part of the one departing, it is fair to say to them that you intend to be gracious in your response - but that if they choose to trash the ministry on the way out that you reserve the right to be more forthcoming in response if necessary to the questions that will come from those whom the employee has communicated with. That gives them an incentive to be circumspect in what they say.

It behooves the ministry to be as generous as they can be when there is a problematic resignation. Whether we like it or not, people have a constituency and their constituency will often take up their offense. You do not need to be apologetic for doing the right thing but one does want to be able to show grace and care in the process.

This also goes to helping the individual, where appropriate, with finding another job through an outside service. Again, a generous spirit is far better than a stingy one, even if one thinks that the staff member does not deserve it.

Often a staff member will ask for several months so that they can find another job. If the resignation is problematic this is not a good idea because the awkwardness of the situation will inevitably affect the rest of the staff. It is better to agree to paying them for a period of time but ask them to spend their time looking for another job and not continuing on in their current role in the process. I have tried it. It rarely works.

It goes without saying that you want to ensure that you do not open yourself up to legal liability in this process. Consult an HR professional to ensure that you are within the law in what you do and what you say and that you have adequately documented what you need to document.

In churches there is often a belief that the congregation needs to know everything. Not only is that a foolish thing to do but it is very easy to open yourself up to legal liability by disclosing certain information.

Again, an HR professional can keep you from making a misstep here. I strongly advise that any communication that is made is run by either an attorney or HR professional in today's litigious environment. I have actually seen staff members who are leaving, whether forced or not, bring their attorneys to church business meetings to see what is or is not being said.

Finally, leaders should be wise but not intimidated by a staff member that is intent on hurting the ministry on the way out. That behavior is actually proof that you have made the right decision.

What we aim for is a process that honors the ministry, the individual leaving and the people of God.

theological arrogance and humility

The study of theology is an interesting discipline: it can breed either great humility or arrogance - even massive arrogance.

What makes the difference? It is whether we put ourselves under the authority of that which we study, or inversely above it because of our expertise in our ability to slice and dice fine points of theology and exegete Greek, Hebrew and theological systems.

The study of theology ought to force ourselves toward humility. No matter how much we know, there is so very much more that we don't fully understand and grasp. The study of God is a limitless study and the more we understand the more we realize we don't understand. 

Just try to grasp a God with no beginning, who exists three in one, who is all knowing, all holy, all powerful and all loving. God is infinite so how do infinite minds believe they can fully understand the infinite or be proud of what they know? As Solomon said, "of books and learning there is no end." Indeed! We will spend an eternity seeking to understand the infinitely and majestically holy God. Eternity has no end!

What I don't understand are brilliant theologians who also have great arrogance: They know all the answers, are always right, glory in their knowledge and allow no grey in theological discussions. Rather than being humbled by the immensity of our God and the glory of His character, their pride actually places themselves above the Word they study and the God they serve. 

Arrogance and God's word and character are incompatible. Unfortunately there are those who fit this description who actually teach those who will pastor churches, a sad commentary on seminary education in some quarters.

Whenever I develop pride about my Biblical knowledge, ability to exegete the Word, or perceived expertise about God, I am moving from living under the Word and its Author to living over the Word and its Author. 

Each of us chooses one stance or another. Pride is incompatible with Jesus and the Word. Those who study a majestic God with a heart that is open cannot help but to bow their hearts, lives and intellect before Him. If they don't do that now, they will one day when He returns when every knee will bow before Him.

The challenge and danger of a divided ministry board

If you sit on a ministry board that is divided and in conflict, you need to know that the division is highly likely to negatively impact the organization you oversee. Divided boards are a clear warning that danger is imminent for the ministry as a whole and it is therefore imperative that the board do whatever it needs to do - including disciplining and humbling itself to resolve the issues.

There are a number of ways that boards become divided. How it become divided is not the relevant issue here. That the board is able to get on one page is! Not to do so is to place the ministry in jeopardy which violates the board's responsibility to protect and ensure that the ministry flourishes. 

Let me suggest that divided boards must grapple with a number of key issues:

Clarity 
It is critical that divided boards are clear as to what the mission and the priorities of a ministry are. Philosophical differences reflect a lack of clarity and until that lack of clarity is dealt with the board will remain divided.

Humility
Divided boards are often the result of one or more individuals who will not submit their will to the will of the group. This is both unbiblical and it is poor leadership. If a board member cannot in good conscience submit to the will of the majority they should resign. Allowing the board to remain divided hurts the organization.

Practices
At times, boards are divided because the board does not have good governance practices. For instance, I have worked with boards where disgruntled staff are regularly talking to board members who then have information that other board members don't have and which undermines the leader. Often, a change in governance practices can bring the board greater health.

Makeup
There are times when the only way to solve a divided board is for the minority to choose to step aside so that the board can move forward in in unity. While it is a significant step to take, divided boards are dangerous and if the division be resolved together it is better for the minority to step aside. 

Divided boards usually need an outside consultant to help them work through divisive issues. Consultant's however can only help if the board as a whole is willing to humble itself and deal with its dysfunction, whatever the source. Wherever we stand, the ministry as a whole and its health comes before our own desires. 

Don't ignore a divided board. Do whatever is necessary to deal with it for the sake of the ministry.

What is in your hand?

I have been reflecting recently on the conversation that Moses had with God at the burning bush. Like us, Moses felt completely inadequate to do what God was calling him to do. And of course he had numerous objections to his ability to do what God was asking him to do.

One of the most interesting parts of the conversation takes place in Chapter four. "Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'the Lord did not appear to you?' Then the Lord said to him, 'What is that in your hand?' 'A staff' he replied. The Lord said, 'Throw it on the ground.' Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake and he ran from it....."

Now there was nothing significant about a staff, every shepherd had one. But God took what was in Moses hand, an ordinary staff and used it for his purposes. I am convinced that God never calls us to do something for Him without giving us what we need to do it and it is often right there - in our hand.

Here is a great example from the missions world. A few years ago when there was political instability in Cote d'Ivoire and Guinea refugees began pouring into Liberia. Titus Davis, a movement leader in Liberia was moved in his heart to minister to the refugees since he and so many Liberians had lived as refugees during their civil war. Rather than writing to others for money, he contacted churches in Monrovia and asked them to help. They collected some money and purchased bags of rice and bundles of used, clothing, put it all in a taxi and headed to the refugee camps by the border.

He and another couple of leaders began sharing the food with pregnant women and nursing mothers as well as giving the clothes to those in need. He had been trained in the chronological storytelling evangelism strategy and while they were ministering to the physical needs of people he was telling them stories of God's redemptive plan. 

These refugees were almost 100% Islamic, but they were moved in powerful ways by the compassion of Christ and the story of redemption demonstrated by Titus and his friends. People followed him home every evening wanting to know more about Jesus. People came to Christ and churches were planted. 

Some of these folks wanted to know how they could share this with their people when they returned home so Titus began training them in the story telling evangelism strategy (orality) and eventually did multiplication church planting training with them. When the civil unrest ended and people returned home to both countries, church planting followed because one leader took what he had in his hand and trusted God to use it.

What is in your hand that God can and wants to use? 

  

Why humility is so important in leaders

There are many things that make for a truly good leader but there is one thing that no good leader can do without - humility. Think of how many times humility is referenced in Proverbs.  One cannot be the kind of leader God wants without a great deal of humility.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2).

Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life (Proverbs 22:4).

Life is not about me
It is easy for leaders to forget that. Leaders get attention, they often get credit and it is easy to slip into a mindset that life revolves around us. It doesn't even if we think it does. When we live in pride we focus on ourselves. When we live in humility we focus on God and others. There is no leader who has fallen who did not start to believe that life was about them - which is why they got into trouble. 

The ministry I steward is not mine
How big is your church. Tell me about your mission! How subtle it is but how easy it is to start to believe that what we lead is somehow ours. It isn't. It is God's and we are simply stewards on His behalf for His fruit in dependence on His Spirit. We ought to be proud of what God has done and does through the ministry we steward but we cannot allow pride to creep in to the place where we think it is our ministry. Humility reminds us that we steward a ministry or a team for a season and then we pass it on to the next one who will steward it well. 

The team I lead is not there to serve me
Humble leaders serve their team in order for the team to be as successful as it can be and its members as fruitful as they can be. Prideful leaders take their teams for granted and expect that the team is there to serve them. Not so! Jim Collins talks about level five leaders who serve their teams and live with great humility. He is right. It is New Testament leadership where leaders serve rather than are served. Only humility makes that possible.

My ideas are not the only ones that matter
Proud leaders talk a lot. Humble leaders listen a lot. There is no robust dialogue with leaders that think they have a corner on ideas or direction. Only humble leaders are willing to hear things that they don't like to hear, listen to differing points of view and be open to honest feedback. A sign of humility in leadership is the extent that honest, open, candid dialogue can be had - with the leader present and even to him or her. 

The moment I start to believe my own press it becomes about me. When I take credit for what the team has done or what God has done it is about me. As soon as it becomes about me it is no longer about Him. To the extent that I live in humility it is about Him and to the extent that I live in pride it is about me. And it is very easy to slip from humility to pride. It takes a significant effort to stay on the side of humility.

What altitude are you flying at?

One of the critical issues for leaders is to determine what altitude they need to fly at and then do their best to stay there. For instance, as the leader of an  organization, my responsibility is to fly at the 40,000 foot level so that I can see the horizons from the best vantage point. My senior team members need to be at 30,000 feet and their area leaders at 20,000 feet and many more will be at ground level.

If I default to flying lower than I should be (by getting into issues that someone else should be dealing with), I am compromising my leadership because I have defaulted to old habits and old responsibilities. My job is not to deal with 20,000 foot issues but with 40,000 foot issues.

Joel is a leader who rose through the ranks of a mission organization to become a senior leader in that organization. He started as a missionary 'on the ground,' then became a team leader, soon an area leader and then a senior leader. In this role he needed to be flying at 30,000 feet but there were things he loved to do at the 5,000 foot level and he had a habit of 'losing altitude' to get into things he used to do and enjoyed doing. Yet he was now responsible for a huge area of the world, scores of missionaries and many national partnerships.

His leader had to coach him to stay at the 30,000 foot level. Could he still do the things he used to do? Not personally. If he wanted those projects to get done he had to find someone to do it through rather than doing it himself. His altitude was 30,000 feet as a leader, not 5,000 feet. It took coaching and practice but he learned to stay at the right altitude.

This does not mean that leaders are aloof or distant from those they lead. Leaders are always with those they lead. What it means is that we are doing those tasks that are appropriate for our current role and have given up those things that were appropriate for our past role. You cannot take on new responsibility - and do it well - without giving up old responsibility.

Further, when we hang on to the old tasks we disempower those who should be responsible for those tasks. Remember, healthy leaders make the transition from independent producer to leading through others. This transition - related pain of loss is a natural result of agreeing to fly at a higher altitude than we previously did.

Understand the altitude that you need to fly at and stay there. It is a transition from a lower to a higher altitude. It requires you to give things away, empower others and ultimately to lead at the level you need to lead. When you lead at the right altitude, you allow others to lead at their appropriate altitude.

Laggards in churches and ministry organizations

Laggards, those who will resist change of any kind are found in every congregation and every organization. They are highly resistant to change (they are traditional - they like the way it is and always has been). My friend Larry Osborne from North Coast Church in Vista, California calls these folks "squeaky wheels."

Laggards are usually a small minority (perhaps 16 percent) that cause a whole lot of heartburn for leaders for one reason: They can have very loud voices and cannot be convinced.

They are the individuals who speak the most and the loudest and are often the most negative. Because they are loud, others in your congregation or organization may wrongly assume that their view is held by many.

Leaders often spend an inordinate amount of time trying to placate the squeaky wheels. Someone has said that 80 percent of our time is often spent trying to keep 20 percent of our organization happy. It is not a wise use of our energy.

Think about that! No matter how much time you spend trying to convince the squeaky wheels, you will not be successful. They are deeply change resistant. You are wasting your time, because they will always find something to squeak about. They are not bad folks, they are simply wired to resist change.

We would be better off allowing squeaky wheels to squeak and work to convince the other folks in the organization who can be moved, than to waste precious time and energy trying to convince folks who will not be convinced. Love them, listen to them, and don't assume that they speak for the majority. Usually they do not.