Making Ripples

Changed lives is the coin of God’s Kingdom and influence with people is the key to seeing lives changed. It is the stuff that legacy is made of especially because influence creates ripples and ripples continue to create even more ripples – it is the nature of influence.

Drop a pebble in a pond and what happens? There is not just one splash but the splash creates ripples that reverberate across the surface in ever widening circles. Drop a bunch of pebbles in a pond and the various ripples hit one another and create small waves that start moving the whole surface. It is the nature of influence.

The most important work we do for Christ is that of rippling on others for Him. Christ rippled on his disciples, they rippled on the new believers in Jerusalem, who in turn rippled on the whole world as they were forced out of town by persecution and ended up on the highways and byways of the Roman Empire. It was one ripple at a time that changed the course of civilization forever.

If Barnabas had not come alongside Paul when the other Apostles were frightened of him, his ministry would not have gotten off to the start it did (Acts 9:26-31). It is not an accident that his name means “son of encouragement.”

The very reason God gave spiritual gifts to every Christ Follower is to allow them to ripple on others. Whether it is teaching, healing, faith/prayer, administration, leadership, care, giving or a whole host of other ways we have been gifted, these are gifts given so that we can influence others in the church and the world for him. One splash, many ripples!

My mother in law was a simple woman. Originally from Sweden, she came over by ship and got so sea-sick that she swore she would never go back. She met her future husband in English class in St. Paul. He was an immigrant from Ukraine, having lived through the Second World War, having served in the Russian, German and American armies (it is a long amazing story. Neither of them learned English too well and for the first five years I dated Mary Ann, I just said yes to every question they asked – not being able to understand very well.

Not only was Gunberg a simple woman, she was a quiet woman. She served as a nurses aid throughout the years at Miller and then United Hospital. She spent hundreds of hours with her four grandchildren, two of them ours.

What amazed many was how many came to her memorial service when she died from complications of a car accident. Never had she served on a committee in the church or had any visible ministry. But we heard story after story of people she had demonstrated small acts of kindness too, making meals, visiting, sewing clothes, giving money, helping neighbors and the list went on. The number of peoples this simple woman had rippled on was amazing, like Dorcas in the New Testament.

She was not a theologian, she had little wealth, she had a low level job, she was a first generation immigrant and she touched an amazing number of people – no doubt part of the reason that my wife and sons also have a heart for the underdog.

The heart of our ministry is people

It is people that God created for eternal purposes. It is people that He died on the cross for so that our sins could be forgiven. It is people that God loves with an indistinguishable love. While the world pursues things and bank accounts and properties and fame, God and His people pursue people. Stuff will not outlast our world but every human being has an eternal destiny – either with God or without him.

Most of you, like me, are just “ordinary workers” to quote my son. We are not people of great resources or wealth. We have average jobs and income. We are not famous or well known. But all of us have the one thing that we need to make ripples for Christ – we are surrounded by the very people He wants us to influence.

Two critical skills

Our world is desperate for love. In order to ripple like Jesus wants us to we need to develop two skills that Jesus had. The first skill is to see people as Jesus saw them. Hundreds of people would trail after Jesus and the disciples and in their exhaustion would often see those people as “irritants. Jesus on the other hand, saw them as “sheep without a shepherd, looking for love and answers.

When Mary Ann first came to the High School as the student nurse she would see kids like the disciples did, “bad kids,” “troubled kids,” with a bit of judgement. God changed her as she got to know the bad and troubled kids and now sees them as hurting kids with a lot of pain. That is the difference perspective we need to develop if we are going to ripple on those around us.

The second skill we need to learn is to love people like Jesus loved them. He met their needs, He expressed compassion, He came with an attitude of grace rather than judgment, He befriended the sinner, the prostitute, the leper, the outcast. His ministry was actually more on skid row than on easy street. The reason that bad or poor or marginalized people responded to him was that he offered love rather than judgment, grace rather than condemnation and hope rather than life as it was.

We were created to ripple on those around us. Our neighbors, the guys and gals at the homeless shelter, our colleagues at work, our friends and fellow sojourners at church. Think of the power of all God’s people rippling on those who they come across!

Ripple in your sphere of influence

Each of us has a unique sphere of influence. One of my friends, because of his profession runs in economic and political circles I will never be a part of. God has uniquely placed him there to ripple on people most of the rest of us cannot influence.

My sphere of influence is largely within the church community around the world. My responsibility is to have as much influence for Christ in those circles that I possibly can – using the gifts God has given me.

My wife, Mary Ann has had the opportunity in years past to ripple in a middle class school of 2,000+ where no soap opera or TV show could match what happens in real life. This is a group that the church by in large is not reaching and frankly would be shocked if they knew the challenges our next generation faces. She created huge ripples with her gifts of grace, mercy, honesty and loving care.

When you think about it, God has placed each of us in a sphere of influence that is unique to us and the opportunity we have is an opportunity others don’t have. It may be your neighborhood, place of employment, economic circle or any number of unique circumstances. When we all are intentional about rippling in our sphere of influence – that is when the church has influence.When all we do is ripple on fellow believers in the church, the church has little influence outside its own walls.

How leaders often shut down discussion, stifle dialogue and create stagnant cultures

Have you ever been in a staff meeting at some time in your career where you knew it was unsafe to say what you really felt? Or, where everyone knew that nothing would be said that would be considered contrary to what the leader thought? Where many positive things would be said about the ministry but no one would name the many elephants? 

Whenever I see a culture like this I know that there is a leader who has shut down discussion and stifled dialogue enough times that people will not say what really think, and everyone but the leader seems to know that.

How do leaders shut down discussion, stifle dialogue and create stagnant cultures? One of the easiest ways is simply to make  dismissive statements when suggestions are made: "that won't work," "I don't like it," "We don't do that kind of thing here, "We've never done that." Sometimes it is just body language that says something like "You have to be kidding."

Whether the idea or suggestion is a good one or not these kinds of statements from leaders send a strong message that one is better off just keeping their mouth shut. Not only are such statements pathetic in their lack of EQ but they are designed to end conversation that the leader does not want to have.

Often, leaders who display such behaviors are really saying that if the idea is not theirs it is not going to fly. In other words they are simply not willing to consider anything that does not fit their paradigms which staff quickly pick up on and choose to simply stay quiet. 

Those who continue to speak up and press into things that the senior leader does not want to hear or do quickly find that they are marginalized and sometimes even forced to move on. That sends a very powerful message the conformance and silence are the keys to survival.

Another way that leaders can do this is simply to ignore proposals that are made. In one such case I am aware of, the leader will tell subordinates that he will "think about it" or "study the proposal" and never bring it up again. It dies by deliberate neglect.

All of this creates a culture of stagnation because ideas, suggestions and different paradigms are not welcome at the leadership table. Staff must operate within a narrow band of what is acceptable and cannot be themselves in using their best thinking and creativity. It is a deeply frustrating place to be for anyone who is even a moderately healthy individual.

It also creates a culture of elephants - issues that everyone know are there but which cannot be safely addressed or even identified. What makes this so absurd and crazy is that the issues are not secret but they have to be treated as secrets, or as non-issues. As the number of issues grow that cannot be discussed, so does the dysfunction in the organization. When things do erupt out of frustration, the eruption is often unhealthy because healthy dialogue was shut down long ago. 

Unfortunately there are many examples of leaders who shut down discussion, stifle dialogue and create stagnant cultures. It is a sign of personal leadership dishealth, insecurity, dysfunction and it hurts the staff, organization and even the ability of the leader to lead well. I have vowed that I will never again work for such a leader. 

How the past can become a threat to your future

Every leader and organization faces the dilemma. How they did things in the past successfully got them to where they are today but will often not get them to where they need to go tomorrow. Yet the past is what they know and have experienced while the future is not known and has not been experienced. Good leaders thus live in a dynamic tension between the past and the future - knowing that their knowledge of the past is often a detriment to moving into the future.

I have seen this tension about what is known (the ways of the past) and what is unknown (the ways of the future) literally paralyze leaders from taking the necessary steps to lead their organization into the future. After all, the unknown requires measured risk while the known requires no risk at all (except, ironically, the very survival of the ministry). 

Healthy leaders understand this tension and also know that while we can and should learn from both our failures and successes in the past, we must always be moving the organization we lead toward the future with all of its unknowns. This requires courage because we know what the road behind us was but we don't know what the road in front of us is. Our GPS can take us to what is but not to what will be.

Therein lies the dilemma. When I drive home from work each night I do it by habit and without any thinking about where I need to go. It is familiar, comfortable and second nature. Not so the future which requires a lot of thinking, evaluating, looking at trends, emerging opportunities, and evaluation of what is currently being done. 

Churches get caught in this dilemma all the time, doing what they always did and then wondering why attendance and giving are down. Often they are simply not responding any longer to the needs of a new day. One church I know is known for its exceptional biblical exposition and preaching which is always excellent (and which I deeply believe in). But, there is no application of the Biblical truth to every day living. The pastor is living in the past when there was a general knowledge of the Bible and truth whereas today there is not and without helping people make application to their lives they are no longer meeting the needs of a different day. It should be no surprise that both the attendance and giving are down.

Leadership is about leading people somewhere and much of that has to do with leading into the unknowns of the future. That means deep thinking, careful exegesis of our context and being willing to risk new strategies and ways of thinking to respond to the needs of a new day. It is all about not allowing the past to become a threat to the future.

a messy world and messy leaders

We often think of our Biblical heroes as people who were born that way. Just the opposite is true. We have always lived in a messy world and our Biblical heroes were no exception.

Take Moses, for example. We know him as the guy who rescued God's  people from slavery, as a deeply humble guy and one who talked to God face to face. I can't compete with that. But what we forget is that he too had a messy background and it took God 80 years to prepare him for his life assignment.

Everyone has issues and so did Moses. Consider this. While he grew up in wealth, splendor and privilege as a member of the Pharaoh's household he knew who he was: an Israelite who should have been a slave rather than royalty. Talk about identity issues!

Those issues came to a head when at 40, Moses took justice into his own hands, killed an Egyptian who was mistreating an Israelite and was forced to run for his life, ending up as a shepherd in another land. In one day he went from privilege and wealth to working as a shepherd with nothing to his name. In addition he now was a felon and a wanted man. Obviously he had an anger management problem.

I would guess that for the forty years he worked as a shepherd (he didn't even have his own flock but looked after the flock of his father in law) he felt like he was a has been. He had blown his chance, God would never use him for anything and he was consigned to a forgotten existence and a wasted life. 

If you doubt that, think of Moses' conversation with God at the burning bush. Finally God was calling him to something and Moses kept pushing back. Why? He felt unqualified, lacked the confidence to say yes, and gave all manner of excuses with a final comment, "O Lord, please send someone else." Of course, God never calls us to do anything that we can do by ourselves but only in His power but it took quite a while for God to convince Moses of that.

Of course God had different ideas. God is never in a hurry and he is always up to something. During those year from 40 to 80, while Moses felt he was stuck on a shelf, God was developing a relationship with Moses that would sustain him through the next 40 years in the wilderness leading a people tough to lead.

Four lessons emerge from Moses past. First, God can redeem any past for His divine purposes. Even our pasts! Second, while we may think we have been put on a shelf, God is always up to something, preparing us for what He has for us. Third, God never calls us to do anything we can do by ourselves. Why should He? His work is a divine work that requires divine power. Fourth, God uses regular people to do His divine work in the power of His Holy Spirit. 

Moses had a past with a lot of issues, just like we do. Yet he used Moses just as He desires to use us. 

Success, resentment and criticism

It is an interesting phenomenon but it reveals something about our own hearts. The greater one's success in ministry the more criticism they receive and the more cynicism about their ministry. This criticism and cynicism says nothing about the one they are directed against. It says a lot about those who display the attitude.

I have had many conversations with pastors about large churches in their area. It seems as if there is a rule that we need to find something negative about them because they are large and influential. Sure there are times when we ought to have concerns (health and wealth teaching, legalism or teaching that is not Biblical). That I understand. But often, the real issue is our resentment at their success and a need to lower their standing in order to increase ours.

Here is an interesting question. Is it even necessary to speak negatively of other ministries? Usually not...and if we do what is our true motivation? Even Paul had strong detractors - those who didn't like his influence. If Paul did, it is inevitable that others will too. 

No leaders are perfect and none above criticism for some issues. But neither are we. They simply have more attention focused on them because they happen to lead a large ministry. In most cases they did not ask for the attention and may even resent it but it is what it is. Why should we follow the crowd in throwing stones? It was Paul's advice to use words that build up rather than tear down.

The bottom line is that our tendency to criticize those who are successful is most often a reflection of our hearts, our issues, our resentments and our desires rather than the success of others. If we are going to criticize we need first to look inside and ask what in our hearts creates that need.

Gains and losses in leadership

In leadership, no matter the level, most gains come with an unexpected cost - that of loss.

I spoke recently with a senior leader who is struggling with the sense of loss as he relinquishes responsibilities to others so that he can do what he is called to do - be the architect of the ministry. His dilemma is this: unless he relinquishes things he used to do he cannot take the ministry to the next level. But in that relinquishment there is a real sense of loss over things he loves to do and used to do.

There is another factor involved. The activity given up in order to fly at a higher altitude is also activity that gives a sense that one is contributing something significant to the organization. Often, one must give up activity in order to think, envision, coach others and work on taking the organization to the next level of productivity.

In doing less, many senior leaders wonder if they are really contributing something significant anymore. Often internal pressure toward activity causes them to spend time on things that need to be relinquished to others rather than doing it themselves.

One need not be a senior leader to struggle with a sense of loss. Anytime an individual producer takes on a staff member, they must relinquish what was once their activity. When they do not relinquish responsibility they disempower (see prior post). There is always loss with gain. Healthy individuals recognize the loss and are conscious of the internal pressure to keep what needs to be relinquished.

If there is loss in relinquishment, why relinquish what we know we can do and do it well? We do so in order to focus on issues that allow us to grow the ministry. Our desire for missional fulfillment is higher than our desire to keep what we used to do. We take the loss for ministry gain. That is why the senior leader above is struggling through a difficult transition. He is committed to taking his ministry to the next level and in order to do so he needs to relinquish many things he used to do and focus on those things that only he can do as the senior leader of the organization. Mission trumps his discomfort at the loss in the process.

Relational breakdowns

It happens way to often in the Christian world. There is relational breakdown between believers that is not addressed.

It may be an offence committed by one party that they are not even aware of but it is held against them by another. It may be disagreements over strategy or philosophy that causes one to marginalize the other. In many cases it actually has no root in reality but one party makes assumptions about the other party and never bothers to clarify whether those assumptions are indeed correct.

No matter the cause, such relational breakdown has an impact that goes beyond the two who don't understand each other. Because of one or both parties mistrust, others around them are infected by the mistrust because it is very hard to hide one's attitude toward another. That means that relational breakdown impacts the ministry that we are a part of. It is not a victimless sin.

The Apostle Paul encourages us to live at peace with one another as much as it is possible. In other words, when we become aware of relational breakdown it is our responsibility to try to address it whether we were the cause or not.

Our unwillingness to try to bring peace is harmful to the work of God and may in fact be sinful on our part. To hold grudges or live with relational breakdown and not have tried to bridge the gap is one of the common but unfortunate tendencies of our lower nature. We have all been guilty at one time or another. Part of spiritual maturity is learning to proactively try to bridge the gap when we become aware of one.

The most obvious step to bridging relational gaps is to start with a conversation. Many assumptions we make about others are wrong. A pastor may assume motives about a board member who challenges him or a team member about another team member.

My experience is that my assumptions about poor motives have almost always been wrong! Because I assumed poor motives I then caused a wall to go up in my own mind about the other. In such cases, it is our fault for the relational disconnect. The other party may in fact be clueless that there is even an issue.

Often, if we are willing to probe and try to understand the other's heart we find out that not only are there not poor motives but we actually want the same thing - but have been misunderstanding one another. Asking questions while not assuming motives or being judgemental can at least get the issues on the table. Unless they are on the table there is no means of dealing with them.
Where the issues are thorny it may be necessary to have a series of conversations or to bring a neutral party into the discussion to seek understanding.

Not all relational disconnects can be resolved because it takes two to want resolution. Most can, if one of the parties will press into the disconnect, acknowledge that it is there and seek to bridge the gap. Even if they know that they were not the cause, a mature individual will seek to resolve it and will not ignore it.

Taking the step of resolution is not always easy. But relational breakdowns are dangerous to a church or ministry organization. That danger ought to outweigh our fear of confronting it. Often we will find that the other party is relieved to solve it.

Overcoming defensive attitudes

Defensiveness among leaders can have a devastating impact on our ability to lead. Defensive leaders end up hurting themselves because their defensiveness prevents people from telling them the truth and if you don’t know the truth about what others think it is very difficult to lead. I would rather know facts I don’t like than not know them at all.

The root of defensiveness is personal insecurity. The logic goes something like this: “If I am wrong, then I am not a good leader so I cannot be wrong. If I cannot afford to be wrong I will push back on those who think another path is a better one.”

Ironically, in adopting a defensive posture, leaders actually lose credibility with others even though they feel they have preserved it by defending their position. Defensive leaders live with the allusion that they know what people think when in reality their defensiveness leaves them clueless and deeply vulnerable as a result.

When leaders are defensive those they lead talk about them to one another rather to them. It may not be healthy but they have trained their team not to address certain issues. Team members are smart enough to know what opinions they are allowed to share and where they need to keep silent.

The cost of defensiveness is not only that of not knowing what others think but a great loss of intellectual capital. It is in multiple counselors and robust dialogue that we come to the best strategy. In addition, it is in the process of that dialogue that we come to a shared ownership of the strategy. But this requires the ability to engage in honest and forthright dialogue. To the extent that a leader is insecure and defensive, that dialogue will not take place. As Lencioni points out in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, dialogue builds trust while the lack of it generates mistrust.

Over the years I have adopted a principle that I seek to live by: Nothing to prove, nothing to lose. I only need to be right if I have something to prove. If I have nothing to prove I no longer need to be right. Further, I only have something to lose if I’m trying to prove something. If I have nothing to prove, then by definition I have nothing to lose. If leaders understood and lived this principle they would not live with the huge amount of anxiety they live with – anxiety caused by the need to be right – and therefore be a “great leader.”

With an attitude of nothing to prove, nothing to lose, I remind myself when others push back or even attack (it does happen to all leaders) that it is OK. I no longer need to be right, nor do I fear being proved wrong (all of us are at times). I can just be me with great openness to the opinions of others. I do not need to agree with others but I don’t need be defensive with others. In fact, it is through a non defensive attitude that I get the very best thoughts from those on my team and in the organization I lead. It is only through a non defensive attitude that we get the very best intellectual capital and best tackle the problems and opportunities we face.

How much can you bite off?

Visionary leaders love to get stuff done. A lot of it. And it you look at vision plans they often look way too big. It looks great but it is not realistic. It might be realistic over a period of years but not in any single year.

Here is a general rule of thumb. No individual or organization can pay attention to more than three to five truly strategic things at any one time. In fact, the fewer "big rocks" you tackle at a time the better off you are - in terms of doing those big rocks well.

Leaders, teams and organizations that choose a few initiatives at a time and do them well get far more done over time than those who in their optimism bite off a whole bunch of initiatives but are left with not being able to pull them off well - if at all. In the end, "less is more."

What matters the most is having clarity around mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and the culture you are creating and then running a few key initiatives each year to move you closer to those goals. A consistent direction over time combined with a few well chosen ministry initiatives that move you closer to your end goal is a very powerful combination.

These are the kinds of organizations described by Jim Collins in his two books, Good to Great and Built to Last. Classics if you have not read them! And, in my book, Leading From the Sandbox.

Organization wide, our mission with 550 staff members does not drive more than two to three key initiatives each year. I would rather do one or two and drive them through the fabric of ReachGlobal than to try more than that and not have them as part of our DNA. Seen over a period of ten years, those carefully chosen initiatives will produce very powerful results.

That philosophy requires three things from leaders. One, being clear on where we are going long term. Two, choosing the right initiatives to focus on in any one year. And three, great patience (the hard part), knowing that the process will bring huge change and ministry results - intentionally - but over time.

If you eat too much food at a meal you get a stomach ache. If ministries bite off too much they are ineffective - exchanging long term health for unrealized short term gain.

So:
Are you clear on where your ministry is going long term?
Are you choosing with great care the initiatives you are running?
Can you be patient for strong long term results?

Leadership and risk

When was the last time your organization did something that was truly risky for the sake of seeing accelerated ministry results?

Here is a principle to consider: The greater the risk taken, the greater the potential ministry return. Because most ministries are risk adverse and would rather tweak endlessly they give up far greater returns that could have been had.

What keeps us from taking risks - making radical changes that can bring accelerated ministry results?

There is the comfort of the status quo! Most of us gravitate toward the comfortable rather than the unknown, risky or uncomfortable. However, that tendency is exactly why many congregations, for example see little or marginal ministry progress from year to year. The status quo is actually the enemy of progress.

There is the lack of ministry evaluation and the time to ask critical questions! Perceptive leaders never assume that the way we do things today is the best way to do them. Rather they ask questions like, "Are their alternative ways of doing what we do that would accelerate our results?" But that takes time to think, evaluate, dream and consider alternatives. I am convinced, for example, that much of our western missions paradigms are woefully inadequate because assumptions are not being questioned and new opportunities are not being exploited.

There is inadequate commitment to mission! Ministries that are truly passionate about the mission God has called them to will naturally take risks because their passion for God's call outweighs their comfort with the status quo. Frankly, I think many ministries exist with little or no real passion for the mission that they claim to have. And staff are comfortable with their roles more than driven by the mission. Too often we live with comfortable ministry rather than passionate ministry. Find a ministry that is truly passionate about what God has called them to do and you will find a ministry that regularly takes risks.

Often ministries are unclear about what they are really about except in general terms! Lack of clarity prevents organizations to take risk, try radical new approaches or be entrepreneurial because there there is no compelling reason to do so. It is very hard to be passionate about an unclear or uncompelling mission, or to take risks for a diffused vision. The greater the clarity of what the ministry is about, the greater the tendency to take risks to accomplish that clear, compelling vision.

If your church, mission, team or ministry is risk adverse take a look at the issues above and ask if they apply to you? If they do, are you comfortable living in your comfort? Or are their issues you need to address in order to take more territory for Christ?

Resisting diversions in our lives and ministries

Diversions. Distractions. Deviations. Detours. All of these are temptations to boards, leaders, teams and individuals. It is the temptation to divert our attention from the main thing to ancillary and less important things. It is easy to be distracted from what is most important. It takes great discipline to focus on the main things God has called us to and keep our focus there.

Take the local church. The Main Thing is introducing people to Christ and helping them grow into spiritual maturity - the front and back side of the great commission. It is more believers and better believers.

If you are on a church board or staff, make a mental guess as to how much time in your board meetings are focused on accomplishing the Main Thing and how much time on other things? Or in staff meetings? Or in your particular ministry. It is easy to stay wrapped up in budgets, staffing and programming, all important but to the detriment of the Main Thing? Which is why many congregations keep many people busy with very little spiritual results.

My experience in working with church boards is that unless there is significant resolve on the part of board leadership, the board will gravitate toward all kinds of time churning issues that have little or nothing to do with the Main Thing.

I think about my own life. God has given me four Main Things for me. It takes huge discipline to stay focused on the Main Things and minimize distractions from other nice but non Main Things - for me. Scattered attention is easy, focused living is hard.

In his letters to Timothy, Paul repeatedly encouraged Timothy not to be distracted or to waste his time on ancillary issues, fruitless debates or even people who were prone to spend their time in empty discussions. He urged Timothy to focus on the Main Thing for him - preaching and teaching the word and ensuring that his life was lived with faithfulness and integrity.

Every day, people, circumstances and the very organizations we serve can distract us from the Main Thing. Our challenge is to keep steering our lives, our teams, our boards and our organizations back toward the Main Thing so that the Main Thing is not distracted by ancillary things.

Can you define the Main Things for your life? Those key things God has called you to? Can you do the same for your church or your current ministry? If you can, how are you doing? If you cannot, are you willing to take the time to ask and answer the question?

The Main Thing is to keep the Main Thing the Main Thing. And that is the hardest thing!

Advice for young leaders

I love the energy, passion and creativity of young leaders. Helping young leaders grow and flourish is one of the most important things more mature believers can do. I want to leave a leadership bench behind me that is better than the one with me. That is success for current leaders.

As we work with young leaders there are some foundational leadership principles that we can help them understand. These go to their leadership EQ which is critical to their success.

Humility. Leaders are simply using gifts that God has given. They are given in trust to use on his behalf. Leaders are not more important than others, they simply have a different role than others and are called to be faithful to the role God has given. Leadership is not about us but about our faithfulness to the one who gave us the gifting to lead, the care of those entrusted to our leadership and the God given mission we have.

Self awareness. Understanding how we are wired, how we are perceived by others, what are strengths and weaknesses are is critical to good leadership. The more we can help young leaders become exegetes of themselves the better leaders they will be. This includes knowing where our sweet spot is and playing to our strengths as much as possible.

Dark sides. Every leader has a shadow side. Those who do not understand their shadow side and where they are vulnerable may easily become victims of their own sin or dysfunction. We ought to help young leaders understand their shadow side and encourage them to spend as much time dealing with the shadow side as they do their strengths. Those who don't deal with their vulnerabilities end up hurting themselves and others.

Honoring others. Great leaders honor other people and help them become all that they can be. Remember it is not about me but about us. My success is directly connected to the success that I help others achieve. Leaders are developers of others. They value healthy relationships, honest feedback and giving the praise to the team rather than taking the spotlight for themselves

Approachability. Young leaders need to learn how to separate their personal pride from their work. Feedback on their work is not an attack on their person, although many people see it that way. Developing a "nothing to prove, nothing to lose" is critical to healthy leadership. Unapproachable leaders cannot be healthy leaders. Remember, it is not about me, but about us and the mission God has given us.

Teachable. Leaders who are teachable grow and develop. Those who are not often run the risk of ending up as narcissists, concerned only about themselves and resistant to honest and needed feedback. This goes to humility and approachability. The most brilliant leaders who are not teachable or approachable will end up hurting others and the organization they lead.

Hearts toward God. In ministry, nothing matters more than having a heart that wants to please the One on whose behalf we exercise leadership. Maintaining hearts that are tender toward God, want to follow Him and hear from Him, please him and know Him is the most important leadership requirement of all.

If you are a young leader you may want to ask those around you how you are doing in these seven areas. If you are a mentor of young leaders, consider talking to those you mentor about the importance of these issues. They will make all the difference as to their future success.

And I need to remember as a mentor of others that these qualities are as much caught as they are taught. So, how I lead and live will impact how they lead and live.

Taking up the offenses of others

It is an all too common scenario. Someone commits an offense against a friend of ours, we hear about it and we take up the offense as well - harboring ill will toward the one who hurt our friend, and even on occasion speaking ill of them to others.

Taking up the offense of others is a sign of poor emotional intelligence and is a destructive practice. In getting sucked into this practice we often cause relational breakdown with the one who we believe hurt our friend, are guilty of hurting their reputation through gossip, and in a ministry setting, hurt the cause of Christ - without any first hand knowledge of the facts of the matter.

Let me give a first hand example. Years ago, a colleague who worked in the same organization as I decided that I was a "bad" person (I think the actual description on their part could have been stronger than that). They shared their opinion of me with others, most of whom were healthy enough to figure out there was another side to the story. But a few, without any firsthand knowledge took up their opinion and felt free to harbor both animus against me as well as share that animus with others.

Interestingly, those who took up the crusade had no first hand knowledge or interaction that would back up the "charges" and "opinions." Yet they took on an offense and have lived with that offense for years.

The sad thing is that there is no way I can develop a healthy relationship with those individuals or colloborate with them for the cause of the gospel. Their decision to take on the offense of others has built a wall between us that I cannot remove (and did not build). In fact, they have never talked to me personally about their animus toward me but have felt free to talk to others.
It is not about my reputation, that is in the hands of God. It is about healthy relationships, healthy emotional intelligence and the impact those have on Kingdom work.

It happens to many of us but it is a highly unproductive and unhealthy practice. Each of us is responsible for our relationships with others, for keeping short accounts, and for treating others with dignity. If I violate those principles I need to make it right.

But, I am not responsible for the relationships of other people and if there is relational disconnect between others, I can encourage them to make it right, offer to help make it right but what I should not do is take on their offense. It is their issue, not mine. In fact, to believe as "fact" negative information about another without any first hand knowledge is sin: It is not "thinking the best of others," and when we share our negative opinions in the absence of first hand knowledge it is nothing more than gossip.

I wonder how much relational destruction has been done in the Kingdom by people taking up the offenses of others - and in many cases assuming facts and spreading information that has no real basis in fact. It is simply second hand information that may or may not be true

When tempted to take on the offense of others ask yourself:

• Do I have first hand information that the information is true?
• Have I tried to help solve the relational disconnect?
• Have I inquired of the one under indictment whether my understanding is a correct one?
• Is the issue one that is any of my business?
• Do I want to take the chance that by taking on the offense I may be guilty of attitudes and words that are untrue, hurt others and ultimately hurt the work of God?
• Might there be another side to what I have heard?

We have enough challenges in our own relationships to take on the issues of others - which are not our issues.

Insecure leaders

Insecure leaders harm relationships which has a ripple affect down through the ministry. Thus the question becomes, can we increase our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) so that we grow and maintain healthy relationships and don't cause the relational chaos that so often occurs with insecure leaders.

Most people can grow in this area but it can take practice. Here are some suggestions.

Practice an open attitude toward those who criticize or suggest alternate options. You may not feel like having an open attitude but this can be learned. The key to being perceived as open (even if you don't feel like it) is to not react defensively or verbally to those who may disagree but rather to default to questions like, "help me understand," or "unpack that for me." What we are doing is communicating that we are open to dialogue rather than simply being closed.

Dialogue with those who would take an alternate route is one of the most important practices of anyone who has healthy EQ. Closed people tell, declare or clam up while open people dialogue, ask clarifying questions and keep the conversation going.

Dialogue should be combined with the practice of "thinking grey." When thinking grey we are open to options, opinions, opportunities and have not made up our minds. Insecure leaders don't think grey, they need their way or need to be seen to have an answer. Secure leaders are open to all input before they make up their minds.

Thinking grey allows one to learn the art of compromise. Here is the deal. None of us are all wise or right all the time. There is a reason that when God designed church leadership He designed it as a team of overseers or elders. Compromise is not a negative word. We don't compromise on moral issues but we learn to be flexible on other issues. Healthy leaders are flexible, they listen and they don't die on hills that they don't need to die on.

Flexibility is really about humility. Pride says, I must have my way. Humility says, it is not about me but about us. The longer I lead the more I realize that there is a whole lot I don't know and humility means that I am willing to bring others into decisions I make - especially those who might not agree with me. It is easy to be "humble" with those who agree with us - not so easy with those who look at ministry differently.

One can see how these practices build relationship where the alternative destroys relationships. Good practices in relationships build while poor practices destroy. How are you doing?

Creating intentional waves

Organizations, teams and groups crave equilibrium - predictability. Especially in Christian contexts there is also an aversion to strong disagreement or "conflict." The phrase "don't rock the boat" reflects most people's aversion to surprises or major change. We are more comfortable on calm seas then in the waves.

In fact, so comfortable are many organizations with the status quo that they are willing to drift into decline and even oblivion rather than create waves. We watched General Motors do that in recent times. They lived in a fairy tale world while the world around them changed dramatically but with its change adverse culture no one was willing to create some waves, wake people up, help them smell the coffee and realize that it was not 1960 anymore!

Churches, mission organizations, and Christian ministries often do the same thing. And many are living like General Motors did.

Without a crisis major change does not occur in an organization. Yet without major change, organizations become obsolete. This is why wise leaders regularly create a crisis - they intentionally create waves that cause discomfort to the system because without shocking the system the system always returns to its comfortable equilibrium.

Waves are not bad and leaders often need to create waves and even some anxiety if they are going to convince others that change is needed. Over a decade ago, we intentionally created a crisis in our denominational office to convince our staff that either we needed to change - to become a premier service organization for our churches - or we would become unnecessary and obsolete. It was not a comfortable time for our staff but it had the desired result of helping us change our culture.

Leaders create waves, sometimes small, other times large, to rock the boat, upset the equilibrium, get people's attention and force the organization to look at some issue differently. If someone had done that at General Motors years ago, they would not have found themselves in the spot they did. The same is true for many churches who are quietly drifting into irrelevancy oblivious to the fact.

When equilibrium is disturbed, people begin to talk about issues and solutions that they otherwise would not discuss. The REVEAL study done by Willowcreek Community Church on spiritual formation created a crisis in many churches as they realized that their assumptions about life change were in fact flawed. That has sparked huge conversation around how spiritual formation actually takes place and we will all be better for it.

As in the REVEAL study, leaders create waves by asking tough questions about the assumptions that often underlie our ministries. Those questions are uncomfortable and perhaps intimidating but they force the organization to think differently and to engage in significant dialogue. As our world changes at an ever more rapid pace, the need to create waves that spark discussion and new thinking becomes all the more important.

Some leaders are intimidated by the prospects of disequilibrium because they cannot control where the waves will lead. That is true! But with an organization full of good people, the likelihood is that the discussion and dialogue will create a pretty good solution.

In our mission, I intentionally created waves several years ago by suggesting that we wanted to be planting churches internationally that were healthy, indigenous, self-supporting, interdependent and reproducing - and that many of the churches we planted or groups we worked with were not committed to these things.

My white paper was taken by some to be unrealistic, by others to be a slam on what we had been doing and by others to be a threat to the status quo.

But it sparked a great deal of discussion (not all of it comfortable) and in the end we sharpened our understanding and goals for the kinds of churches we wanted to plant and the strategies we would use to accomplish it. But I had to be willing to create a crisis in order for the dialogue to take place - and take the risk of a period of uncertainty as that dialogue was going on.

In fact, when leaders are no longer willing to create waves (it can be uncomfortable for them as well) it is time for them to step aside.

Spiritual Transformation

The goal of Jesus for our lives is to take the unique us that he created, with our gifting and wiring and through our relationship with Jesus and the residence of the Holy Spirit in our lives create a better us – the kind of us that we would have been before creation became undone and sin entered the world.

This is the process of stripping our lives of those things that don’t reflect the image of God and putting on those things that do. “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24).

The process of putting off those things that are unhealthy and putting on those things that are like Jesus is not an easy process. The times where we see the most progress in this transformation are during tough times when the real us is exposed in all its reality (sometimes ugliness) and we are forced to press into Christ in a deeper, more authentic way because we have nowhere else to turn. That is why we call Life Undone an unlikely gift.

In the process, God forges the us that we were designed and created to be. The us that will have the impact on our world that God wants us to have. The us that is increasingly transformed into the image of Jesus – remember we were originally created in the image of God – so God through Jesus is recreating us in His image. It happens most powerfully in the hard times of life.

My first experience with life undone caused me to enter into a study of God’s grace that continues to this day. I moved from being performance oriented in my relationship with God to learning how to live in his gracious grace. That transformation changed my relationship both with God and with others.

I also learned that not all problems are solved this side of eternity and that God may choose not to answer my prayers the way I wanted Him to because He had greater purposes for what He wanted me to learn and places He wanted me to grow. I learned to trust Him in the face of injustice and pain that I could not solve. This was a painful lesson but one that has given me a deeper perspective on God’s purposes in our lives.

In my significant illnesses I learned firsthand that God can do the miraculous, and that I am the recipient of his undeserved grace by choosing to spare my life. That has changed the way I look at every day – as an undeserved gift to be used for Him. I live on borrowed time. In my Thailand experience, staring death in the face, being awake on the ventilator I learned that I can experience the peace of God and trust Him no matter what the outcome. He was all I had and He was enough.

These are deeply transforming experiences that only come from deep pain and hard times. These transformative experiences are not merely intellectual but they penetrate the deepest part of our lives which is why they change us. No sermon or book can match the power of transformative experiences forged in pain!

One of the byproducts of deep pain is that it brings to the surface other issues that are unresolved in our lives, lurking below the surface which we have been able to ignore, until our pain in another area brings it to the surface.

Early in my ministry, after experiencing great pain I went to see a counselor about issues that had no direction connection to the situation I faced but which the pain brought to the surface. It is always a blessing when unresolved areas of life come to our attention because it is as we deal with those that we become the me God wants us to be. Never ignore what pain reveals.

As I look back on times when life has come undone, times that were excruciatingly hard and painful in the process, I realize that all the major growth and transformative experiences of my life came in those times and their aftermath. Painful as they were how can I be anything but grateful to God for the opportunity to experience transformation that never would have happened without them? And in the process I have participated in the “fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10).

If you have experienced great pain in your life, as life is redone, as it comes back together for you, pay close attention to the transformation that has taken place in your life. Places where God has made Himself better known to you, lessons you have learned. Pay attention and think about them because these are precisely the transformative experiences he wants for you so that you becomes a better you as God’s character and purposes become a greater part of your life.

Whether or not you journal, I would encourage you to put down on paper the lessons you have learned and the places where you have experienced transformation. Remember, these are the most significant opportunities for you to experience the spiritual transformation God wants for each of us. So, the more you pay attention to what God is doing in your heart, and cooperate with that work He is doing, the more you gain from having been in the heat of His forge.

Key Result Areas and Annual Ministry Plans

It is so simple, so basic but it makes all the difference in the world in terms of what your team or staff accomplish. Simply put, every member of your team ought to know two things: What their goals are (and what you will hold them accountable for) and what their plan for accomplishing those goals is.

The goals are KRAs or Key Result Areas. The plans are AMPs or Annual Ministry Plans.

Knowing the goal and having a plan gives clarity to both team members and supervisors. It moves people from ambiguous ministry activity to clear ministry results. The clarity also makes evaluation objective. Either the staff member has worked the plan or they have not. It does not have to be perfect, it is about intentionality and results.

Interestingly, KRAs and AMPs are also a protection for staff members against supervisors who micromanage or frequently change their minds about what they want. Once the goals and plan is approved, they are free to work it and supervisors are not free to change it.

This very simple concept is a game changer for ministry staff. If you are not practicing it, you really need to! It will help you move from activity to results and from ambiguity to clarity.

In my experience, one reason ministry staff do not use KRAs and AMPs is that their leaders don't want the same accountability. Because it starts at the top.

Suffering and freedom

Life lived with God is a journey of becoming free. It is a journey from selfishness to selflessness, from sin to righteousness, from facades to authenticity, from living by the expectations of others to that of pleasing an audience of one, from our sinful nature to a life in the Spirit. Every step toward freedom is a step in the right direction. Jesus said, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Freedom in Christ is a wonderful place to live.

As citizens of a world that has been interrupted by Satan, we are held captive by many things: pride; independence; materialism; success; self-sufficiency; the expectations of others; sinful habits; distractions from those things that are most important and selfish hearts.

Every time one of those captive makers are stripped from our lives we become more free, more like the person God created us to be and our hearts more like His. In a divine reversal, what we consider to be the ultimate disaster can in fact be a freedom maker.

Once I have experienced a great failure, I no longer need to worry about failing. Once I have lost my self sufficiency I no longer need to pretend I am self sufficient and am free to rely on God. Once having been humbled by suffering in its many versions, I can let go of my pride - I am forced to and it is freeing. Now I can just be me! No longer do I need to pretend I am something I am not. I am free to live with authenticity.

When I have not lived up to the expectations of others I realize that not only can I not pull that off but I don't need to. Another step toward freedom. The pain of suffering clarifies those things that are not really important in my life that I can jettison without guilt - and I am free to focus on what is truly important.

The focus of dealing with tough life situations brings to the surface sinful habits and tendencies that in my pain I realize are wrong and counterproductive. Leaving them behind gives me freedom.

In thousands of way, large and small, suffering points us toward Christ and faith and trust and humility and toward a greater life of freedom. Counter intuitively, life come undone contributes to a life of freedom.

Self interest or Kingdom interest

In Philippians 2:19, Paul makes a very interesting comment where he compares Timothy’s ministry motivation with the ministry motivation of others.

“I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel” (Philippians 2:19-22).

Paul uses two descriptors for Timothy. First, that he takes a genuine interest in the welfare of the Philippians – that is he really cared about them and their welfare. And then Paul contrasts that with the majority of people when he adds, “For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” That is a sobering statement! Are we like Timothy who takes a genuine interest in the welfare of others or like the majority who look primarily after their own interests?

The proof, says Paul has been Timothy’s partnership with Paul in the work of the gospel. Timothy has a track record of faithful ministry to others and a genuine interest in their spiritual welfare, and he was willing to serve under Paul as a young minister – a mark of followership and humility – rather than to carve out a name and a place for himself.

The ministry world is full of people who are carving out names for themselves and under the guise of “ministry” are actually looking after their own interests, pursing their own dreams and doing their own thing rather than working under or with others for the spread of the gospel. And when it comes down to basic motivations it is really about them not others! Paul nails their motivation when he says they are not looking after the interests of Jesus Christ.

Paul’s comments cause me to ask myself today. What is my motivation? Is it “genuine” like Timothy’s or is it more about me than Him. Whose interests am I really looking after? The answer is often not how it looks on the outside but the motivation from the inside.

Independent contractors and organizational members

There are two kinds of potential employees and you probably have both in your organization if you are of any size: those who think of themselves as independent contractors and those who choose to be organizational members. The first group is problematic while the second group is healthier.

Independent contractors are those who are part of your ministry but who are far more committed to what they want to do than to contribute to the overall success of the organization. For an independent contractor, your ministry, be it a mission, a church or other ministry is simply a platform for them to do their thing in their way and in light of their priorities. So while they may be employees or staff and receive their paycheck from your organization their loyalty is not to the organization and its mission but to their thing and their mission. They actually hurt your organization rather than help it.

What this means is that they have no desire or intention to align themselves with the organization itself but use the organization for their purposes. It brings with it significant lack of alignment, an independent spirit that does not play well on a team, continual push back when asked to abide by organizational values and commitments and often a passive aggressive attitude that pays lip service to the organization but in reality plays to their own priorities.

Contrast this with staff who understand that they are part of an organization and want to contribute to the mission and ethos of the organization. They play well together, abide by organizational commitments, understand that they are not solo players and deeply desire to contribute to the whole. Thus they play well on the team and exhibit a humble spirit of service and contribution to the whole.

In my experience, independent contractors do not belong in a healthy organization because they will not contribute to the whole. Those who understand that they are part of the whole and want to contribute to the whole are highly valued by an organization. If you are struggling with a staff member who does not seem to be aligned ask yourself if you are dealing with an independent contractor rather than an organizational member. That distinction is often the source of frustration that you are feeling.

One caveat. You cannot ask staff to be part of an organization when there is not clarity as to what the organization is about. Where there is a lack of organizational clarity you will have independent contractors because they have to make up their own clarity. When the organization has clarity, you can build a unified, aligned team of organizational members.

church boards and failure of courage

Church boards are notorious for an inability to make key decisions when they need to and then to stick to their decision when a few loud voices are raised.

The inability of boards to make timely decisions is endemic. Issues are hashed over numerous times, re sawing the sawdust because boards find it hard to make decisions and act. Not only is this a great waste of leadership time, it is in the end a failure of courage - to lead.

Take a staff issue, for instance, where there is a known problem that has lasted for years. The senior pastor knows there is a problem and the board knows there is a problem - but nothing happens.

The board spends endless hours talking, revisiting the issue meeting after meeting but there isn't the courage to make a decision because several board members are afraid of the fallout. The longer they debate, the more damage the staff member does. Finally under pressure, the board acts. But, soon they feel under pressure from a few in the congregation who don't understand or agree with their decision and they start to cave.

If one is going to serve on a church board it is necessary to have the ability to make decisions that will further the mission of the church and fulfill the call of God on the congregation. News-flash: not everyone in the congregation will be happy with that. Comfort, status quo and resistance to change are higher values for some than fulfilling Christ's mission for the church.

Sensitivity and process are important in the execution of key decisions. But he responsibility of leaders is to take the congregation in directions that God would be pleased with and that means making directional decisions that some will not eagerly sign on for.

A lack of courage to make timely decisions and to stick to those decisions in the face of criticism - which will come, sentences the church to mediocrity. If you serve on a church board, don't get caught with a failure of courage. Make timely decisions that are best for the ministry, expect that not everyone will be pleased, and don't cave. Board members who cannot do that need to move over and allow someone who is willing to lead - to lead.

Never waste a crisis

I don't know who said it but I agree with the statement. Crises in organizations, even though not desired can almost always be used in  powerful, positive ways. Think about this:

A crisis can be an opportunity to clarify. Take major conflict in an organization that creates crisis. What has been brought to the surface are underlying issues that not only exist already but which are hurting the organization as well. When they blow up, hard as it is, it forces one to clarify and chart a single course. Will there be fallout? Probably. Will the resulting group have greater unity? Probably.

A crisis can be an opportunity to focus. Take a financial crisis. Usually these are critical times to decide what is mission critical and to jettison what is not. We see financial issues as bad but they can be a great help in clarifying what is important and refocusing on that which is mission critical rather than ancillary.

A crisis can be an opportunity for reconciliation when relational issues are the cause of the conflagration. God is honored when His people cease hostilities and make whatever accommodation they can to get along, forgive or bless one another. 

A crisis can be an opportunity to clarify values and non-negotiables. This is especially true where a fundamental value has been violated. While never wanted, there are no more powerful times to reinforce what is truly non-negotiable than when a key value is violated.

A crisis can be an opportunity to model truth. Too often leaders, Christian or not, spin issues to try to look better which only creates cynicism among staff. After all, if leaders are not truthful, why should they be - and they know. Truth, no matter how painful always wins over spin.

A crisis can be an opportunity to recommit ourselves to dependence on God rather than ourselves. Humble dependence and an acknowledgement of our need is in short supply today but is highly regarded by our Father. Every crisis is a reminder of our need for Him, His wisdom and His help.

When crises come as inevitably they will every good leader knows two things. One: the crisis must be handled. Two: the crisis creates an opportunity. We always know the first truth. Often we miss the second opportunity.

Why should anyone follow you?

That is a fascinating question if you are a leader. Do you deserve to lead others? Are you functioning as a healthy, effective leader whose priority is the team you lead or are you really more interested in your things and priorities? The truth is that there are many leaders who frankly don't deserve to lead others and don't have the best interests of others at heart.

What are the characteristics of leaders who deserve to lead? First, they are committed to leading through their team. It is not about them but about what they and the team can accomplish together. Their team is not an afterthought or distraction but a major commitment and priority. They have made the transition from being an individual producer to leading through team.

Second, they have clarified the boundaries for the team: They are crystal clear on the mission they are are committed to, the guiding principles by which they work, their central ministry focus - the thing they need to do all the time and the desired outcomes of their work. Without definition in those four areas, we do not deserve to lead because those who work for us deserve to know the boundaries.

Third, they are leaders who empower rather than control others. Controlling leaders are selfish leaders and insecure leaders. Their lack of confidence keeps them from allowing good people to figure out how to accomplish their work in line with the clarity defined above. Neither Jesus nor Paul were selfish or controlling leaders - they defined the boundaries and empowered.

Fourth, they are leaders who mentor and coach their reports, helping them become all that they can be. This is not a monthly quick check in but it is an attitude and practice of understanding the wiring and strengths of their reports and helping them become all that God made them to be. That takes time. It is an unselfish use of our time and energy. Supervisors who will not mentor and coach in ministry do not deserve to lead others.

Fifth, they model what they teach and require of others. They are people of integrity, accountability, focus on results and keep their commitments. Leaders who do not model those four characteristics do not deserve to lead others.

It is an interesting question that each of us who leads ought to ask. Why should anyone be led by us? Don't take the question for granted. If you do you should not be leading. And trust me, our team members have an opinion on it.

Living in Grace

Real transformation does not allow for compartmentalization of our lives where we choose whether or not we will allow God to infuse that compartment or keep it for ourselves. Studies that show that the lifestyle and priorities of those who label themselves as evangelicals are almost no different than those who don’t claim to be Christ followers would indicate that there is a great deal of compartmentalization taking place.

This is a pseudo transformation where Justification (my sins have been forgiven) has not been followed by serious sanctification (my life has been and is being changed). While salvation may well have occurred, the process of my becoming all that God created me to be is circumvented when we compartmentalize those areas where we allow God access to our lives.

Real transformation starts with our hearts. This may seem obvious since it is clear that giving our heart to Christ is the key to an eternal relationship with Him. As Jesus Himself put it, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only son” (John 3:16-18).

This new life in Christ comes to us not because of something we have done but on the basis of God’s grace, freely extended to us. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

It is God who transforms our heart in response to our faith. It is all about His grace in our lives. Not only do we enter His kingdom by grace but we live out our daily lives in His grace and it is the living in grace that is perhaps our most difficult challenge.

Grace is unmerited favor. None of us merit the favor of God “but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). When we were still in rebellion He moved toward us, became one of us in the incarnation and died for our sin!

So if God has transformed our hearts through His grace, bringing us into His family, forgiving our sin, giving us an eternal destiny, why do we speak further of the need for transformation of our hearts? I believe the challenge is not in accepting that His grace has forgiven our sin and reconciled us to Him. The challenge is in understanding how His grace impacts my daily life with Him.

Many of us struggle with a deep feeling of unworthiness in our relationship with God and frankly many of us spend our lives trying to make ourselves worthy to Him even after we have accepted His gift of salvation. In our struggle with sin we find ourselves doubting our worthiness. That often leads us to work harder to please Him, thinking that the more we do for Him the more we are worthy of Him.

But here is the catch: There is nothing we can do to cause God to love us more and there is nothing we can do to cause God to love us less. We live and exist in His pure, unrelenting, and infinite grace. That means we can relax in our relationship with Him. We are worthy of Him because He has made us worthy. We are called his friends and his brothers because He has made us family. When we come to understand His grace we can stop striving for His love and acceptance because through His grace we live in his love and acceptance all the time.

The Christian world is full of Christ followers who are still trying to earn God’s love instead of simply living in His wonderful grace. If we know that we don’t need to earn His love (it is not possible), we are then able to serve Him with grateful, thankful, hearts, without fear, knowing that we exist in His grace every moment and that our failures are all covered by that grace. The more we understand grace, the more we relax in our relationship with Jesus and the more confidence we have in our personal walk with Him.

Transformation of the heart is therefore crucial. First for salvation and entrance into His family and second, for living every day with confidence, not in ourselves, but in His limitless grace that encompasses all that we are. We will never be the us He created us to be until we understand what it means to live daily in His grace. Transformation starts in our hearts and continues in our hearts as we seek to understand the full implications of the grace we have entered into.

Discerning the voice behind the voices

Consider a common scenario. You are a ministry leader and you are receiving significant push back from one or more individuals either personally or you are hearing common themes being discussed with others which find their way back to you secondhand (the passive aggressive way to deal with conflict).

As a rule there are two things I want to know. First, who is pushing back and second, who is the voice behind the voices when there are common themes being raised.

When there are rumblings in your ministry and people tell you that there are discontented folks the first question is "who are they?" In fact, I will generally not have a conversation with people who tell me there is discontent in the ranks unless they will tell me who is involved. 

Why? Because there are people who I know that are continually discontented with where we are going, who have attitudes that are critical and cynical and who I know are not really on the team. The fact that they are sources of discontent neither surprises me nor am I going to spend time and energy trying to change their attitudes. On the other hand if the source of discontent is a healthy staff member I am going to press into that to see what can be done to resolve the issue.

There is another scenario that is all too common: you start to hear common themes in a common language which tells one that there is a voice behind the voices who is spreading discontent. The best passive aggressive people are smart. They will not tell you upfront what their issues are but they will tell others who are prone to becoming enmeshed with them emotionally and who will take on their crusade. They are like arsonists who light fires with others behind the scenes but when you show up they are never there to take responsibility. Rather, they use others to carry their water while they remain hidden in the shadows.

Here is what you want to understand in this situation. Those who are loud voices may not be the ones who are instigating the critical spirits. Common language, common complaints, and common attitudes usually indicate that there is a common source. Thus to deal with the situation you must find the common source. 

Here is where Christians are often naive. We believe that God's people will act with integrity when in fact they often don't. Jesus told us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Often when asked by church leaders about scenarios like this I will do some probing and it is not difficult to figure out who the common source is. Once that is determined it is possible to develop a strategy to deal with him or her.

Remember: common language, common complaints and common attitudes usually indicate that there is a common source. Figure out who the voice is behind the voices and you have a shot at dealing with the snake in the grass.

What I didn't learn in seminary and why it matters

I very much enjoyed seminary. I went to one of the best and soaked up great theology and learned how to properly 'divide the word of God,' all of which I am deeply thankful for. But the transition from seminary to ministry was a rude one. There were some important lessons that were not taught in seminary that were bottom line reality in the 'real world of ministry.' My observation is that seminaries are still not 'getting it' in addressing these issues.


In seminary 80% of my time was spent exegeting Greek, Hebrew and theology. In ministry, 80% of my time was spent in exegeting people and negotiating relationships.

Aside from understanding God's word, the ability to understand, get along with, work with and lead people is the number one skill needed in ministry. Ministry is about people, before it is about the fine nuances of Greek word tense or Hebrew root words (and I love Hebrew). I wish that those who train God's workers would spend more time helping them exegete and understand people.


Seminary did not tell me leadership was important, or place any emphasis on the leadership component of ministry.

As I work with churches, and church leaders, by far the number one challenge they face is that of how to lead boards, staff and congregations as churches grow. Seminaries today are still teaching a classical ministry model that assumes its pastors are serving the small church where leadership 'takes care of itself.' They are not teaching pastors how to develop vision, strategy and work with their leaders to establish a compelling vision for the future.


Seminary did not teach me how to lead a staff.

Instead, the important issue was knowing how to understand theology and preach. I get that. But as churches grow, pastors are increasingly leaders of others, whether of full time staff or volunteers. Because this is not seen as a value in our training, many pastors view the leadership of staff either as a distraction, or they simply lack the necessary skills.


Seminary did not teach me how to work with church leaders.

Too many pastors come out of seminary thinking they are God's gift to the church and they are the 'experts.' There is a rude awakening that they need to work with elected leaders in the church who have their own ideas as to what church is and how it should be run. Successful pastors are able to appreciate shared leadership and work with elected leaders to develop healthy ministry. Because there is so little emphasis on this in their training, it often takes many years for pastors to figure this out.


Seminary did not train me in healthy governance

The local church suffers from five common dysfunctions: bureaucracy, control, mistrust, professional ministry and ambiguity over direction. All of these are leadership and governance issues. They deeply hinder effective ministry. Yet, these are not topics of concern in most seminaries. All the knowledge of theology will not overcome these kinds of challenges in the local church.


Seminary did not teach me how to deal with conflict

And there is plenty of conflict, or potential conflict in the church. The ability to negotiate through that conflict and seek to find win/win solutions is absolutely critical to healthy ministry. Instead, many pastors find themselves 'demonizing' those who disagree with them when some training in conflict resolution would help avoid those bad habits and help foster a healthy environment.


Seminary did not teach me how to develop a team of specialists as the church grows

Seminaries are good at teaching pastors how to be generalists but as churches grow they increasingly need specialists with a leader at the head. This means that those leaders must have the ability to hire specialists, keep them focused and build a healthy team. Generalists work in small churches, specialists are needed as the church grows.


Seminary did not teach me to "develop, empower and release" people into meaningful ministry

Seminary taught me how to do ministry. Yet the function of church leaders is that of 'raising up, equipping and releasing' others into meaningful ministry in accordance with their gifts (Ephesians 4:12).

Thus we perpetuate the notion that the professionals do the real ministry while the 'lay people,' (I really, really dislike that term) do the lesser ministry. Because we do not release the majority of our people into effective ministry, the church has only a fraction of the influence it could have in its community.

Seminary did not model the kind of humble, servant leaders that are needed in the church today

In my experience, there was a great deal of hubris: theological, spiritual and personal among many of my most proficient professors. They vied for position, engaged in power struggles, put down others who didn't fit their paradigms and engaged in politics that would make Washington today look tame. Yet, these were people who were training those who are to lead like Jesus, cooperate on healthy teams, lead from a posture of service and humility. I found there to be a huge disconnect between the posture of some (fortunately not all) of my professors and the content of what they taught.

If typical seminary politics were to be the norm in the church (and it often is) the church is in deep trouble. Poor modeling among those who teach pastors can be held responsible for much dysfunction in church governance, especially among pastors.  They learned from the best in many instances.

Do I have a prescription for what seminary didn't teach me? I have three suggestions. One, that seminaries pay more attention to what ministry looks like in the real world. Two, that we move seminary education out of the cloister of the residential model and through distance or cohort learning provide theological education in the context of full time ministry where theology and real life ministry can intersect throughout the process. Third, that those who teach the next generation of pastors model the humility of Jesus rather than the arrogance of knowledge.

I personally believe that the schools that will survive and thrive in the future are ones that will modify their age old practices to train practitioners who are working and ministering in the real world. The disconnect between what happens in a full time seminary setting and the actual world of ministry is immense and growing. Unless schools are willing to bridge that divide they will increasingly become irrelevant to the local church which can and will and does train many of its own staff today.

What I do know is that the current model will not do the job in today's world.