Dealing with organizational elephants

Elephants are interesting things. They are big! They are obvious! They are loud. Everyone knows when they are around. Which is why "elephants in the room" issues that are big, obvious and loud are so tragically ignored by a staff or a board. Everyone knows they are around but everyone pretends they are not there. And no one is ever fooled!

Here are some real life elephants that I am aware of right now in various places:

A staff member in a church obviously does not fit and is dragging the rest of the staff down but no one talks about it or does anything about it.


• A board member creates regular conflict on the board to the consternation of others but no one is willing to address it.


• A pastor has systematically alienated a long series of individuals but the board will not talk about it.


• A team leader never wants to hear anything critical of his leadership so everyone tip toes around sensitive issues but everyone knows the score.


• A member of a congregation leaves relational havoc in their wake but because of their influence, no one will address the issue.

The thing about elephants in the room is that they are obvious but remain unnamed, unresolved, even unspoken. It is frankly one of the sins of humanity that we allow known problems to exist without seeking to resolve them. And that starts with an acknowledgement that they are there.

OK, there is a reason that elephants remain unnamed. The main reason is that there is not permission in the group to engage in real, honest dialogue. The unspoken rule is, "don't go there" or "if you go there the rest of us will be silent" which leaves any brave soul hanging out in the cold - very alone.
There is one description for such a situation: cowardice! And it happens all the time in many situations. And, it is wrong.

There is a very important descriptor of Jesus given by the Apostle John in John 1:14. It says that Jesus came full of grace and truth.

As one reads the gospels it is evident that Jesus was always willing to put his finger on the truth, but he did it with grace. The woman at the well was an adulterer and Jesus got at that truth but He did it with grace. Jesus did not shirk the truth - indeed He spoke it always - but he treated people with grace.

This is the example that needs to guide us when we name the elephants in the room which good and courageous people do. Once it is named it is no longer an elephant - it is now an issue to be discussed and resolved. Done only with truth it can be harsh. Done only with grace it probably won't happen but done with grace and truth it can be powerful.

I have resolved that I will not live with elephants in the room because life is too short and I am not willing to compromise opportunity and effectiveness for the sake of sweeping issues under the rug. If I cannot name the elephants where they exist or if those on my team cannot do the same, I am in the wrong place or on the wrong board. 

 I have actually left teams and boards where that was not possible. But I have also resolved to deal with them with equal measures of grace and truth. Truth to name the issue and grace to seek to resolve the issue. If I cannot address the issue with both grace and truth I wait until my heart is right so that I can.

I was once in a contentious meeting where individuals said their were many elephants in the room. I asked them to name them, and they did. Here is the interesting thing. Once expressed, they were no longer elephants but issues to be discussed and resolved to the best of our ability.

None of us do this perfectly but I have tried very hard to adopt an attitude of "Nothing to prove, nothing to lose" and in that spirit encourage all of my staff to dialogue openly with any issue that is on their heart - as long as it is done with grace and without a hidden agenda. 

All leaders struggle with the risk of doing that. I do. But it is a great blessing to be free of the need to be right, or perfect, or have all the answers, or to pretend that the elephants are not there. Sometimes they are and I want to be courageous to hear them and when necessary to name them. Do we have that courage?

With grace and with truth.

Six questions ministry leaders ought to ask regularly

Periodically it is helpful to ask the question: What can I do raise the bar in my effectiveness?

It is incremental gains in our effectiveness which make a big difference over time. These do not need to be large changes but all of us ought to be making changes on a regular basis. Consider these questions:

What do I need to focus on more closely to drive our mission forward?

Circumstances, needs and opportunities change over time. It is a mistake to simply think that if I do the same things that I always did that I will be maximizing my impact. In fact, not asking this question is what causes us to "get into a rut" rather than staying fresh.

What am I doing that I should give up?

We ought to be able and willing to give something up to others. You cannot take on new responsibilities or refocus your priorities without making room by giving something else up. Not doing this becomes a trap that leads to burnout and over-commitment  You give up what others can do and what you do not have to do, whether to volunteers or other staff.

How can I organize my time for greater effectiveness?

Time is the most precious commodity we have and is the one thing we can never get back. Almost all of us can make modifications for how we organize our time which would allow us to accomplish more without working more. Consider looking through your schedule and seeing where you are actually spending your time. Does it reflect the priorities you want it to? What changes would help you be more effective?

How can I work smarter, not longer?

Most of us in ministry already work too long. The question is how can we work smarter, accomplish more but not work longer? Often if we would take a few hours to think about what we do and how we do it we would realize that there are alternative ways to get certain things done that would free up time for more important priorities.

What am I going to do to stay sharp?

Intentional growth is a non-negotiable for those who want the get the advantage and stay sharp. Do you know where you need to develop and do you have a plan for that development? None of us are exempt from that need.

Are there specific challenges I believe my ministry is going to face that I need to be aware of?

Every ministry has specific challenges that it is likely to face. Thinking ahead about the challenges you are likely to face allows you to consider how you will potentially respond to those challenges.

Facing down the giants in the church

I often think of the account in the Old Testament where Moses sent twelve spies into the land that would one day become their home. The vast majority of the spies came back and reported to the nation that "there are giants in the land" and that it would be impossible for them to prevail. Only two, Caleb and Joshua called on the nation to move forward, confident that God would help them overcome the giants (Numbers 13).

Church leaders face giants regularly which keep them from leading their congregations into greater health, more meaningful ministry and community impact. As I have consulted with numerous churches and leaders four of those giants stand out.

The giant of fear.

It is the fear of failure: we cannot do that! It is the fear that someone will object: they will! It is the fear that the money won't be there: not everything depends on money and there is more than most people believe! It is the fear of uncharged territory: uncharted territory requires courage!

It is interesting to me that the number one command in Scripture is "fear not." The reason for this is that fear is the killer of faith and faith is the currency of God's kingdom: "Without faith it is impossible to please God." The evil one is a purveyor of fear while God is a purveyor of faith. After all, we don't enter into any ministry endeavor on our strength but on the strength and power of God.

Jesus did not just give us the Great Commission but he reminded us that "He is with us always, even to the end of the age." Fearful leaders are no different from the ten spies who declared that to go in is to embark on a suicide mission. Fear is a giant, but not to God.

The giant of comfort.

Anytime leaders lead courageously they are taking themselves and their people out of their comfort zone. It is human nature to want to stay in ones comfort zone where life is predictable, where we are safe and feel that we can control outcomes and where our status quo is not messed with.

This is precisely why we have the saying, "Don't rock the boat." We like stability and comfort which is precisely why the church makes so little difference to its community or the world. Leaders are not immune to that comfort and followers generally love that comfort.

The job of leaders is not to keep people comfortable but to help them be all that they can be under Christ to fulfill the mission He left the church. Whenever we are comfortable we are in a danger zone and the longer we remain comfortable with what is the harder it will be to move out of that comfort zone into what should and could be.

The giant of change

How often do church leaders hear from someone in the congregation, "we've never done it that way!" How often do church leaders say the same thing when considering ministry initiatives. There is no forward movement in any organization without change but people are naturally change resistant, including many leaders.

We do not look at change for change sake. We look at change so that we can remain effective in a changing culture. The gospel does not change but strategies for reaching people does. This is not about chasing the latest ministry fad. It is about ensuring that our ministries are as effective as they can be so that we can fulfill the mission of the church.

Show me a church that has not changed much in the past decade and I will show you a church whose ministry is on a downward slope, its leaders still clinging to the past and its people comfortable in their familiar but unproductive territory.

The giant of conflict

Conflict is not all bad! In fact, I saw a book recently titled, "Every Congregation needs a little Conflict" and I agree with the title (not having read the book). Conflict makes people think and consider and evaluate.

There is always some kind of conflict when leaders face down the giants of fear, comfort and change because most people find change hard and some find it sinful, unnecessary and wrong. These are the "laggards" on the change scale, they hate change. We call them the "squeaky wheels" in the church who will squeak whenever change is suggested.

Even in the best congregation, conflict of some kind will happen with major ministry initiatives. It is normal, it is expected and it is inevitable. Real leaders listen, process people and lead with sensitivity but they are not cowed by the loud voices who make their opinions known - often in unhealthy ways.

Courageous, wise and missional leaders are hard to find. But that is what is needed in the church. Good leaders know there are giants that they will face as they lead, just as Caleb and Joshua did - they saw the same formidable people that the other ten saw. The difference between Joshua, Caleb and the other ten spies is that they also understood that if they followed God where He was leading them that they would prevail.

In God's strength, what look like giants to us are not to God. How is your leadership board doing in facing down the giants?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Legacy

I love old grave yards. Every headstone has a story and one gets only a glimpse of that story by what is written and the years that were lived. Mostly you are left wondering - and wishing one knew more. You are given a name, two dates and perhaps a small glimpse of their live - especially on older gravestones.

Actually the most important letter on a gravestone is not a letter at all but a dash. The dash between the date of birth and the date of death. That dash represents the time that God gave that individual to make a difference for Him. So, I wonder, what happened during their dash between birth and death - their allotted time?

For those who were people of faith- given the verses or attributes carved in stone I wonder what challenges they faced. But mostly I wonder who they influenced for Christ who may be alive today generations later! Because in the end that is what we leave - others we have influenced for Christ who carry on a Godly presence in our world. All of us are the recipients of a Christian witness that goes back in some way to the time of Christ.

It is interesting that most of us cannot remember the name of our great grand parents (apart from those who study their family genealogy) . That is how fast memory fades as each generation looks to the future not the past. But God always remembers - as He does the contribution we made to His kingdom which continues to ripple generation after generation. That is the true story of the headstones of God's people. That is the story they tell. It is the story I want mine to tell long after my name is forgotten.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Brokenness transformed by grace

Failure has many benefits. Once I have failed I no longer need to worry about failing (been there done that). I no longer need to worry about my pride getting hurt – I've been there. I don’t need to keep up the pretense of success – I blew that record. And, I can identify with 99% of the world who has also experienced failure at one time or another.


Our world celebrates success and denigrates failure (unless you are a Hollywood celebrity and fail spectacularly in which case you are now a smashing success in some twist of logic). But the truth is that the most valuable lessons we learn are through failure, not success and our transparency about our failures and pain is perhaps far more important than people learning of our successes. In failure the best lessons are learned, the best faith is forged and the best transformation takes place. So, why would we hide our failures rather than share what God has done in us through them?

Our willingness to share our whole story where appropriate becomes a powerful encouragement to others who are often struggling with the same issues or believe that because they have “failed” God cannot use them. The fact is that many things we view as failures are not really failures at all but are so only in our own minds. Older leaders would do younger leaders a great favor if they would share their own stories more transparently. Often young leaders view their elders as having sailed through life with a minimum of pain and failure. Usually just the opposite is true.

My perspective on hard times is very different today than it was when I was a young leader. I understand success and failure differently, have the perspective of time to see how God used pain for my benefit, and have seen His faithfulness in what looked like impossible situations. Not only did I not know all of those things as a young leader going through hard times but the advice I received then was not very helpful: God will work it all out! God did, but not in the way well intentioned people meant their advice. One of the realities is that some things don’t get worked out this side of heaven – no matter how hard one prays or how hard one tries.

God does not always fix broken situations. But He is always faithful in the process when we choose to press into Him in those broken situations. Faith is not believing that God intervenes in all situations but that He is faithful to us in the middle of brokenness. I wish I had that understanding as a young leader. I willing share my experiences today to encourage the next generation of leaders who are walking through their own broken places.

Success is not living without pain or tough times. Nor is it necessarily seeing spectacular ministry results – often it will not from our point of view. Success is faithfully living at the intersection of God’s gifting and His calling on our lives wherever that should be. Deep influence is not dependent on achieving success or acclaim by our peer’s standards but by cultivating the hidden practices we have been studying which mold a strong, deep, core of spiritual strength and resolve that influence all that we do and everything that we are.

All of us have paid our share of “dumb tax” – things that we would not do again and lessons learned the hard way. Our willingness to share our dumb tax with others can save them the pain of learning it themselves. I often ask leaders that question for my own benefit and encourage leaders to regularly share dumb tax with one another.

I am always amazed at the response from young and old leaders alike when I speak on pain, suffering and brokenness from a Biblical and personal perspective. I have had more than my share of these times including debilitating physical illness. People thank me over and over for sharing transparently. They are hungry for a perspective on their own situations and struggles and are encouraged that they are not alone.

We underestimate the place of sharing our experiences candidly along with God’s grace in the process. Each of us who is faithful is simply one more in the line of the heroes named in Hebrews 11 who lived by faith even when the chips were down. There is power in stories of brokenness transformed by grace!

Ambition, money, power and ministry

Ministry not only attracts those who have a deep passion for God and the spread of the Gospel but it can also attract those who have personal and selfish ambition, are driven by money or power and who find ministry platforms a convenient means of realizing their ambitions.

Why choose a ministry platform? Because it is relatively easy to hide behind a facade of spirituality and ministry. It is just another platform to use for their own purposes and believers are not always as discerning as they ought to be.

There are signs of those who are more about ambition, money and power than they are about humble service.

World changers
I am always cautious about Christian leaders who are going to "change the world." Now I am a guy who loves great vision and we are praying that God would allow us to impact 100 million people with the gospel in ReachGlobal. But that is going to happen through indigenous movements in specific areas of the world as God works. No one can "change the world." Jesus will when He returns but grandiose claims are often more about the personal ambition of the one making them than they are about Jesus. I can impact corners of the world through the Holy Spirit. I cannot change the world.

Power brokers
I am always cautious about Christian leaders who broker power, are unaccountable to others and who make major ministry decisions by themselves rather than through team. Power is a dangerous thing and does not leave one unscathed. The healthiest leaders surround themselves with accountability through boards, team and live with great personal humility demonstrated through service to others rather than through power. When I don't see that I am very cautious. The more power one exercises autonomously the more dangerous it is to them and to others.

When it becomes about money
I deeply believe in Christian stewardship and live that out. When, however, ministry becomes more about money than anything else, where there is an emphasis on what money can do or when a leader has not used money with integrity beware. I have had a situation recently where I did an online ministry seminar for an individual before I did my due diligence by checking him out on the web. After all, many prominent names were attached to his "ministry."

When I Googled him I found that he was under several federal charges (regarding money) and was in litigation with a number of churches who charge him with defrauding them of half a million dollars. In addition he has a string of unpaid bills. It is a long list of financial issues. Yet his ministry is all about raising one billion dollars for ministry and he advertises himself as one who can help ministry find those dollars. Of course he will not take my content down because he is making money on it.

In another case in a church I am familiar with the theme became more and more about money and the pressure to give went up and up. Eventually the leader left and has since declared bankruptcy. 

Personal ambition, power and money are warning signs to beware because they can hide behind spiritual language and be lived out in the name of ministry. The ministry veneer does not make them OK.

The truth of the matter is that we often allow behaviors in ministry that would never be tolerated in the secular workplace and the sad thing is that those behaviors are often coated with a veneer of spiritual language that others find it hard to press back on. Bad behavior is bad behavior but it is worse behavior when it is coated in a spiritual facade because one is using the Holy to cover the unholy.

We are far too reluctant to confront unholy behavior in ministry settings under the guise of "grace." Grace, however does not allow sinful behavior. Rather it forgives sinful behavior when it has been confronted or acknowledged.

Jesus told us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Wisdom is about recognizing what is spiritual and what is hiding behind a mask of spirituality. It is also about being aware of our own motivations in ministry because none of us are immune to what can happen when left to ourselves.

The discipline of listening

Listening - and actually hearing - is a discipline and practice that can help you grow and develop like few other practices. It is a sign of good emotional intelligence and of a secure, non-threatened individual. It also sends a strong message that those around us are important and that their voice counts. It is a posture of humility and valuing the worth of others.

Many people do not listen to others. They hear but they don't actually listen to what others are saying. Not listening is a sign of immaturity at the least and arrogance at the worst. We can be too busy, think we have the answers, don't want to hear what is being said or are perhaps threatened by what someone is saying.

Those who do not listen often pay a steep price. They do not hear personal feedback that would enable them to grow, advice that would keep them out of the ditch, feedback that could act as an early warning system that something is not right, counsel that can help them do what they do better or just information that would allow them to make better decisions.

The book of proverbs has a word for those who don't listen: fool. I don't like that word. Ironically, those who don't listen see themselves as wise - they have the answers. But the reality is that they are foolish and eventually pay the price for their foolishness!

Wise individuals do listen. They listen to those who agree with them and those who do not. They listen to good news and bad news. They actively seek counsel, opinion, feedback, and want to know what others are thinking. They are secure enough to know that even negative feedback is often really positive feedback because it allows them to grow.

Insecure individuals - the fool in Proverbs - would rather not know, or hear, or face the reality of what others might think. It is a trajectory that will eventually end up in the ditch, with a whole lot of pain.

The discipline of listening - and really hearing others - is a posture of humility that understands and communicates:

-I don't have all the answers
-I want to hear your opinion
-I am open to your feedback
-I need your counsel
-It is not about me but about us
-I want to be more effective
-I would rather know about bad news than not know - even if it is painful to  me
-I want to keep learning and growing
-I do not need to be right
-I have nothing to prove and nothing to lose
-There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors

One last thought. In order to listen we need to take the time. Those who don't take the time to listen to those around them are as foolish as those who don't want to listen to others. Both have the same effect.

How well are you doing in the discipline, practice, art, humility, of listening?

Communication is everyone's job

Communication is one of those things that is an ongoing challenge for every organization. We will never get it perfect and will never satisfy everyone's needs. Yet we cannot ignore it because good communication promotes trust while poor communication promotes mistrust.

A common compliant in larger churches or organizations that have seen significant growth is: "I don't know everything anymore." My response in my own organization is "I don't either." Further, I want to know what I need to know, not everything there is to know. That is a crucial difference.

In the black and white, preglobalized, pre-email world, communication was by necessity top down. Leaders would determine what people needed to know and they would - with different degrees of success - disseminate it down through the organization. By doing so, we trained staff that what they needed to know they would hear from their leaders. In addition, it was assumed that what we needed leaders to know would be shared back up the organizational ladder.

In an era of meetings, letters and expensive travel, it made sense. But it was cumbersome at best and often, information did not get to where it needed to go.

Globalization, with its technology changes everything. When my son was in college and doing a report on marketing, he simply found the contact information to the head of marketing at Best Buy and went directly to his source! In fact, for the under thirty generation today, there is an expectation that they can find out whatever they want to find out and share whatever they want to share. Blogs, email, twitter, Facebook  have supplanted the hierarchical view of communications for them. As a student, anyone who wanted to know what Jon thought of his professors could simply read his blog.

In this new world the rules of communication have changed even though not everyone has understood that. Here are the new rules:

One: If I need information I will go out and get it.

Two: If I have information others need I will communicate that information to those who need to know.

Three: Information flow is not inhibited or determined by hierarchical structures - the information world is flat.

Four: I won't and don't need to know everything - but do need to know those things that pertain to my work.

Five: Relationships still matter. Face to face discussion - even via video is better than email.

Six: Everyone is responsible for information flow up, down and sideways today.

In many ways, Microsoft invented a flat organization and has been a huge key to their success. GM never discovered a flat organization which is why they went through bankruptcy.

Finally, the best organizations not only promote and encourage the open flow of information and ideas but are "democratic in their attitude." New ideas, push back or criticism don't bother them. What bothers them is when people are not honest because in the milieu of ideas the best ideas come from mutual collaboration.

What would it take to double your ministry success?

It was one of those serendipitous meetings this week. I was asked to meet with a ministry leader from another organization and he told me an intriguing story.

At a gathering of their leaders last year - about thirty of them - they sat around a table and did a study of the term "fruit" in the New Testament. They came to the conclusion that ministry fruit - ministry results were far more important to God than to them. That God's expectation was far higher than theirs. It was one of those "a ha" moments that groups can have.

This led them to ask what I think is an amazing question and one which I think every ministry should ask. "What would it take for us to double the fruit of our ministry?" A simple question - with profound implications.

Now this is a well established ministry overseas. With well established programs. It is a healthy ministry. They started to look at where they were spending their time and energy and what they were getting in the various endeavors for their efforts.

But the question, coming out of a conviction that God desired more fruit than they were seeing caused them to re-evaluate their programs and ministries. And they did something radical. Some programs they shut down to retool. Others they put on hold and they are trying new things and spending a year thinking strategically about how they can double the results of their ministries without changing the number of staff or the size of their budget.

I give this ministry high marks for asking the question. I think all of us who lead ministries or parts of ministries could benefit from asking that question. We might be surprised with what God shows us. And it fits with those who have a sense of urgency. We know that ultimately God is the one who brings fruit. We also know He wants us to be fruitful and there are things we can do that can make the soil better - including robust prayer strategies which often get lost in our activity.

Often the answer is just doing things more strategically in a more focused manner. Periodically we need to think about what we do and how we do it, especially as the ministry environment around us has changed. A few major changes can radically change ministry fruit.

What would it take in your ministry to double the fruit you see? It does, after all go to the heart of what God wants for us (John 15).

Church boards and fear

All too often church boards are unwilling to make strategic directional and ministry decisions because of fear. Fear that someone will not be happy with the decision. Fear that conflict or controversy might erupt. As a result many church boards provide a terribly low level of leadership. It is as if, not doing anything that would ruffle the waters is their true job when nothing could be further from the truth.

One of the realities of life is that most people do not like change. It takes them out of their comfort zone and they like the predictability and comfort of the status quo. Studies on change show that within the general population, 2.5 percent are innovators; 13.5 percent are early adopters; 34 percent are early majority; 34 percent are late majority; and 16 percent are laggards (Rogers, The Diffusion of Innovation).

Most people don't like change. Yet the mission of the church is a distinctly missional one - to take territory for Christ and that means there is a constant need to get people out of their comfort zones and engaged in strategic efforts to introduce people to Jesus and help them grow.

What do leaders need to know when they propose bold initiatives of ministry?

• Many people will react with skepticism or negatively at first - this is normal
• Some loud voices will be heard in opposition - this is normal
• Some might threaten to leave the church - this is normal
• Some may well leave the church - this is normal
• Some will take shots at the leaders - this is normal

The question is not whether some or all of these normal events will happen. The question is whether leaders will be intimidated and run for cover. 

Unfortunately that is also too often normal but it is cowardice, not leadership. It is to abandon their leadership role to help the church be as effective in carrying out the commission Christ left it as they can be.

Here is an interesting thought. In an evangelical church, most if not all of those who push back on new ministry initiatives will be in heaven one day. But, most of the community around us will not be, unless we boldly lead. Thus, to be held hostage by those who know Jesus but don't like change is to abandon those who will not be reached unless we move forward. Which is the greater value?

I have watched once vital churches decline significantly in attendance and effectiveness because leaders would not lead in the face of those who resisted change. I am sad for those churches. I understand the resistance to change. But I do not understand the lack of courage, will, fortitude, resolve and commitment of the leaders. That to me is the truly sad thing.

If you are a leader, do not be intimidated by those who resist change. That is normal. Rather be motivated by the responsibility God has given you to lead His church into the most effective ministry possible. That is a divine mandate.

Non-defensive living: Nothing to prove, nothing to lose

It is rare to find a truly non defensive individual but where you do you have an easy person to talk to because they have intentionally developed an attitude of nothing to prove, nothing to lose.

If I have nothing to prove, I don't need to be right all the time, I don't need to have all the answers, and I have nothing to be defensive about when I receive a word of criticism or counsel. That does not mean that I must agree with the evaluation being shared but I can evaluate it from a more neutral position because I don't have anything to prove.

Those who have nothing to prove and nothing to lose have open faces that invite conversation and dialogue while those who are defensive have closed faces that say, "don't go there." One invites conversation, the other shuts conversation down - fast.

Defensiveness comes out of two core and unhealthy needs. The need to be right and the need to not lose "face." The need to be right is plain arrogance (none of us are always right) and the need to not lose "face" is simply our pride which is an artificial shell we erect around ourselves to project the image of something we are really not.

Both arrogance and pride are products of our lower nature, are routinely on the list of things God hates (see Proverbs) and are the root of defensive attitudes.

Healthy individuals intentionally cultivate an attitude of nothing to prove, nothing to lose. They are open to criticism or evaluation because they do not feel a need to prove anything and are comfortable enough in their own skin that they are not afraid of losing anything.

It is an attitude of healthy humility that comes out of an inner core of personal confidence, healthy self image and an open spirit. There is no hint of arrogance or pride - thus there is no personal defensiveness.

Think of the people you know well. Which of them respond with openness to suggestions or evaluation? Which of them bristle and shut down the conversation? How do you do in this area?

It is a good mantra to remember: Nothing to prove, nothing to lose.

Learning to understand those we work with

There are few skills more important than that of learning how to understand those who we work with. It was Barnabas who watched and understood Paul after his conversion when others were deeply fearful of him. It was also Barnabas who understood John Mark when Paul wrote him off as a a failure: He got it right when Paul got it wrong.

Paul grew in this area and was a good read of Timothy and Titus, two men who he took under his wing to mentor. First and Second Timothy are full of insight into Timothy's wiring, propensities, strengths and weaknesses with specific wisdom and insight brought to bear by Paul. Paul had learned to do what Barnabas did instinctively, exegete people.

Everyone has fears, insecurities, strengths, unique wiring and blind spots that impact who they are, how they relate and how they are perceived. Good leaders learn how to exegete and understand those they lead and work with because it allows them to speak into their lives in a way that would otherwise be impossible.

This is a skill that can be learned. Often young leaders, like Paul, are too busy with their missional agenda to understand those around them. Hopefully, like Paul, they also learn the importance of exegeting people and opportunities along with the text.

Several simple suggestions for those who want to grow in their ability to exegete colleagues and staff. First, spend time in dialogue with them. It is in dialogue and probing that one best understands where another individual is coming from, what drives them and their framework of thinking and understanding. This is what Barnabas did with Paul in the early days. When others were afraid of him and therefore shunned him, Barnabas took him aside and talked with him - encouraged him and discipled him.

Second, watch, listen and observe words and actions. It is amazing what one can learn by simply being a good observer of words and actions. This is important in understanding those who report to you, those who are your colleagues or those above you. They more you understand how people think, how they react and how they make decisions the better you can influence their thinking and work productively with them.

Third, take time to mull and think about why a staff member reacts or acts the way they do. Just as insight into texts come to those who preach and teach as they mull the text so insight into people comes if we will take the time to mull them. People are complex and the better we understand their complexity the better we will understand who they are and what informs their actions.

Those who become exegetes of those around them find themselves with much better relationships than those who don't. In fact, those who don't build this skill often end up with shallow relationships because they never took the time to understand their colleagues. In the end it can short circuit one's leadership effectiveness.

See this important prayer update from Open Doors. Christian leaders in North Korea are asking for prayer amid war preparations

OPEN DOORS USA

Jerry Dykstra

Media Relations Director

Phone: 616-915-4117

Email: jerryd@odusa.org

Website: www.OpenDoorsUSA.org

North Korean Church Leaders Ask for Prayer

Amid War Preparations

Underground Christians Report Ratcheting Up of Combat Readiness

SANTA ANA, Calif. (April 4, 2013) – North Korean church leaders are asking Christians worldwide to pray for their country amid increased war threats and combat preparation by North Korean military officials.

Prayer for beleaguered believers in North Korea is more important than ever, says Open Doors, an organization that supports persecuted Christians in 60 countries.

According to underground Christians, there is a war-like atmosphere in the country:

“We are to meet the decisive battle with a gun in one hand and a hammer in the other,” summarized a Christian leader about the message the North Korean people recently received from the “high command.”

“The military army, navy, air force troops, strategic rocket troops, the red guards and the red youth guards are already in combat mode. Urgent meetings are being held everywhere, regardless if it is day or night. At those meetings, officials make decisions on what needs to happen in case war breaks out and everyone, including women, needs to be combat ready.”

According to Open Doors sources, many cars on the roads are covered with camouflage nets. Also, soldiers are wearing hats with camouflage dried branches and carry guns. North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un released a statement to his people, saying that “If war breaks out because of the actions of the U.S. and puppet South Korean’s unpardonable behavior, they will end up with a disgraceful downfall, and our people will greet a brilliant new day of reunification. The day has come to show off the power of ‘Military First’ and our great nation to the whole world.”

However, Christians and other citizens fear war and its consequences.

“Many people are in a hurry to purchase emergency food supplies and daily goods just in case. The prices of goods, including food, are skyrocketing,” tells one believer in North Korea.

North Korean Christians are grateful for their fellow believers in the West and request their urgent prayers.

“I would like to thank the many brothers and sisters around the world for their continuous love and support,” says the Christian believer. “We know that our journey will not be an easy one, but we are sure that our faith, desperate hope and passionate desire will some day bear many fruit. No matter how difficult life is for us, we never blame or complain about our circumstances. God has promised us in the Bible that if we seek His Kingdom first, all other things will be given to us as well. Please pray for us.”

Jerry Dykstra, a spokesman for Open Doors USA, adds: “Beneath the surface of the all the rhetoric of war and the possible launch of nuclear missiles are the suffering and persecution of the estimated 200,000 to 400,000 Christians in North Korea. Also, an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 Christians are in harsh political prison camps. The government has been the No. 1 persecutor of Christians for 11 years in a row, according to the Open Doors 2013 World Watch List (www.worldwatchlist.us).

“We must respond now to the Christian leaders’ request to pray for them. Pray for Kim Jong-Un; that God will work in his heart and he will pursue peace and not war. Pray for wisdom for leaders in the United States, South Korea and China. Pray for Christians who are put in even more danger due to war preparations. Pray families will find food to feed their families. Finally, pray that no matter what happens Christians will remain strong in their faith.”

For almost 60 years Open Doors has worked in the world's most oppressive and restrictive countries, strengthening Christians to stand strong in the face of persecution and equipping them to shine Christ's light in these places. Open Doors empowers persecuted Christians by supplying Bibles and Christian literature, training Christian leaders, facilitating social/economic projects and uniting believers in the West in prayer for Christians, who are the most persecuted religious group in the world and are oppressed in at least 60 countries. To partner with Open Doors USA, call toll free at 888-5-BIBLE-5 (888-524-2535) or go to our website at www.OpenDoorsUSA.org.

(For more information or to set up an interview, contact Open Doors USA Media Relations Director Jerry Dykstra at 616-915-4117 or email JerryD@odusa.org.)

Photo: North Korean soldiers guard the border between North and South Korea.

Supervising people with low EQ

Healthy EQ is one of the most important factors in healthy staff, teams and interactions with others in a ministry setting (or otherwise). What does one do when a staff member has poor EQ which inevitably makes supervision more difficult and other relationships problematic?

First, admit the issue exists and needs to be resolved. This may seem  like common sense but the reality is that in the name of Christian "nice" and "grace" we often overlook real issues that have real consequences to people around those whose EQ is problematic. Don't ignore it! It does them no favors, nor those who are impacted by the EQ issues.

Second, have the courage to sit down with offenders and be absolutely honest with them as to how their behaviors are negatively impacting others. This requires a supervisor to be completely candid and honest (nuances are not a specialty of those with EQ issues) and  be clear about how they are impacting others. To be sure they are hearing you, ask them to reflect back to you what they are hearing. Don't sugar coat the issues: they are real and they are impacting others around them.

Third, be clear as to what is acceptable in your organization and what is not. Some behaviors are not acceptable, allowed, or OK because of their negative impact. They need to know this. Provide coaching to them on alternative ways of dealing with situations where they are likely to get themselves into trouble. What they need to hear is your resolve that the issues need to be addressed.

Fourth, if necessary, get a low EQ staff member professional help - coaching or psychological help. In my experience, about half of those who have serious issues can be helped and the other half cannot be because of their own emotional defenses. If necessary, place them on a documented improvement plan to force the issue. 

Fifth, if you cannot help them and if their behaviors are negatively impacting others, either find a role where their presence is not as problematic because they are isolated or be willing to help transition them out of the organization. Remember that it is not just you as a supervisor that pays the price of their issues but those around them who are impacted. The leader and the organization actually lose points with staff when they don't deal with those staff members who negatively impact others.

The bottom line is that you cannot ignore EQ issues. 

Minding the gap between truth we believe and how we live

Paul speaks often of "authentic" or "sincere" faith. Why does he use these adjectives in describing our faith? He does so because there is often a significant gap between what we say we believe and how we actually live.

Those who have traveled much have met a British woman who seems to have something of a monopoly in speaking to us on public subways. Perhaps the most often heard reminder from this woman as train doors open is "Please mind the gap." The gap is the space between the train floor and the station floor.

Paul is encouraging us to mind the gap between what we profess to believe and how we actually live in speaking of authentic faith. I believe that closing that gap is one of the ongoing disciplines and challenges of following Jesus. The smaller the gap, the more authentic our faith is. The larger the gap, the less authentic our faith.

Paul's advice to his protege, Timothy, was to "Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely" (1 Timothy 4:15-16). Our life and our doctrine are integrally connected. Fine doctrine means nothing when it is not connected to a life that lives that doctrine out.

Large segments of evangelicalism have substituted knowledge of God for life with God where our life practices mirror our theological understanding. To the extent that what we know or believe to be true does not match our daily lives there is a gap and it is this gap that must be minded. It is then that our lives actually mirror Jesus and lives that mirror Jesus draw people to Him. 

This is not about legalism. It is about authentic living where we live with Jesus and bring our practices and thinking into conformity with His practices and thinking. The practical question that deserves thoughtful consideration is "where is there a gap between the life and practices of Jesus and what we are taught in Scripture with my own life?" And what am I actively doing through the power of the Holy Spirit to mind the gap?

Perseverance when times are hard

Discouragement is one of the prices of ministry leadership. Coupled with fatigue it is even deadlier. It is Jonah sitting under a tree wanting to die, Elijah the same having escaped from Ahab or David hiding out in a cave from Saul. It is Timothy taking shots because he was young. It is the grind of ministry with the demands of people situations, arrows that come, conflicts to be mediated that place us in seasons of tiredness. This is equally true for vocational or lay ministry leaders.

There are times in life when our primary assignment from God is simply to persevere - to gut it out in the face of discouragement, adversity, illness, or issues of life that leave us tired, used up and emotionally and physically drained. The very act of perseverance can be a huge act of obedience in those tough times. Sometimes perseverance in the face of adversity is the one thing we must concentrate on above all others.

When we choose to throw in the towel – many do, the evil one wins. If we get angry – it is easy – the evil one wins. If we ignore it, we do so at our own peril. If we go into self pity, we surrender to others or our situation.

One thing I have learned is that one should never walk through times of adversity and discouragement alone. Our perspective and judgment is impaired by the circumstances and fatigue we face. This is when we need our most trusted friends and confidants who will speak truth to us and provide us with perspective we don’t have at the moment.

The second thing I have learned is the absolute necessity of rest – whether we think we have the time for it or not. Lack of rest leaves us dangerously low on reserves that we desperately need. Fatigue over a long period is dangerous.

Finally, this is the time to really press into God. Not necessarily looking for justice or resolution but looking for His presence to minister to us personally. To be with us. To experience His love and grace and mercy in the midst of our pain. Too often our pressing in is for resolution and justice when what we really need at the moment most is Him: to be still and know that He is God.

Discouragement and fatigue are seasons of ministry. All of us face those seasons, not all make it through. To make it through one needs a strategy: key people, rest and seeking the person of God for no other reason than we need Him. Remember there always comes a new dawn with new promise. As Jeremiah reminds us as he stood in the rubble of Jerusalem, His mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness. That is true in hard times and good!

Holy Discontent in the church

As I travel and talk to folks in congregations across the United States (and other countries) I am sensing a growing holy discontent with business as usual in the church. The discontent is not coming primarily from pastors and staff but from congregants. There are several themes that I am hearing.

"My pastor is not unpacking the Word of God and often substitutes self help preaching to God's word and its impact on my life." We who are in ministry don't like to hear this but it is a significant issue among those we minister to. I can read any number of thousands of self help books on the market today but our souls long for the living word of the living God that has "the power to penetrate even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).

There are many parched hearts and souls among our people who long for a better understanding of what God has and wants for them. If those of us in ministry doubt that all we need to do is to ask.

"I am relegated to the B team of ministry because I don't have formal theological education." Those of us in ministry have severely underestimated the pain among many of our leaders, women, and gifted folks in the church who are not empowered for real ministry. This is a direct violation of the responsibilities of church leaders to unleash their people in meaningful ministry (Ephesians 4:12). 

I am constantly amazed and saddened when qualified leaders are marginalized, not listened to or even sidelined because of the agendas of paid staff. There are churches who release exceedingly well but there are equally many who do not. Too many pastors are threatened by strong lay leaders.

We will never impact our communities until we help all of our people understand that they are on God's A team (He has only one team) and that they are the called ones in their community, neighborhood, workplace and circle of influence. In the early church it was the new converts who were God's workers and staff. In the majority world it is the same today. They cannot afford to hire staff to do it for them or staff that have formal degrees. We need to train, equip and deploy (Ephesians 4:12) so that all are engaged in the good works (Ephesians 2:10) that God created them for.

We have so professionalized ministry and equated ministry qualifications with education and degrees that we have lost the concept of raising up ministry leaders from within our own churches. Perhaps those of us who have the degrees are guilty of guarding our status in ministry but not allowing others in easily. After all, we are qualified, we have the education and we have the degree.

"I am tired of ministry without the power of the Holy Spirit. I long for the day when His spirit is alive and well in our midst and not just a theoretical entity." I hear this theme over and over. Truth without power is not alive. In the New Testament Paul often ties the word and power together, it is not one or the other or one without the other. While many people cannot put their finger on it, they know something is missing that they need for living out the Christian life in their own lives. I am watching groups of ordinary people start prayer ministries in their congregations and among people from other congregations who are also looking for greater power and presence of the Holy Spirit.

I would not just call this discontent but a holy discontent. It is discontent that God's spirit is raising up to create a healthier church and a more biblical church. Those of us in ministry need to hear, listen and consider the holy discontent that is emerging in the church today.

An interesting article on seminaries in America and the professionalization of ministry

In light of a recent blog, "What I didn't learn in Seminary and why it matters," and other blogs on the professionalization of ministry where we hire people to do ministry rather than release the congregation into ministry I found this article (Are Seminaries Putting Their Blue Days Behind Them) to be very interesting.

To be clear, I believe in the necessity of good theological training. Theologically, I received one of the best. However, unless American seminaries can find cheaper and more user friendly alternatives to the traditional three to four year model of full time residential training at the cost of much debt and outside of the day to day ministry environment, I believe that they will continue to face the issue of relevancy and that students (and the church) will find alternative methods of training pastors. They must also pay attention to a ministry environment in the church that has changed drastically in the past 50 years!

The current and future economy will also force another issue. Can we afford to hire professionals do do ministry for us or do we need to relearn the theological truth that those in full time ministry are tasked with equipping the congregation to do real ministry? I fear that the mandate of Ephesians 4:11-12 has largely been lost in the American church today. How many of our full time staff spend the majority of their time doing ministry for others rather than equipping people to do ministry and releasing them into meaningful ministry?

Unfortunately, one of the consequences of both specialized training for ministry along with the professionalization of ministry has created an A and B team mentality that raises the profile of those with the education and lowers the mentality of those who do not. I believe there is widespread belief in the pew that "I am not qualified to do real ministry." We often reinforce that view when we don't fully utilize the very gifts God gave each one to join Him in His work - Ephesians 2:10.

In addition, we often redefine ministry as what happens inside the church - supporting all of our programming rather than thinking outside the church where most of us spend the majority of our lives, impacting our circles and relationships. This is one reason that many churches have influence that extends to the limits of their parking lot rather than beyond. One large evangelical church staff member told me recently that in their congregation of 1,000+, he could only count 13 local conversions in the past year.

A lesson we could learn on all of these counts is from the majority world where formal theological education and the hiring of staff is not an option. Why cannot we deliver informal (or formal) theological education in more creative, less expensive ways as we must do there? And in terms of staffing, it is largely volunteer since they cannot afford to hire full time staff. Are there alternate models that we need to look at? Not an either or but a both and?

Time outs in life are far more strategic than we think!

All of us get them from time to time: Life Time Outs where because of some circumstance, usually not of our making we feel like our lives have been interrupted and that we are even side-lined for a time. I have had a number of them in my 57 years from life threatening illnesses to career interruptions, family circumstances and the like. None of them have been fun or requested but all of them have been deeply valuable.

One of the significant barriers to personal growth is that we get into comfortable habits and routines that we become stale in our personal, spiritual and professional lives without even knowing it - Like the proverbial frog in the kettle.

It is the interruptions in our lives that force us to take stock, rethink and evaluate where we are and where we are going. It is one of those hidden gifts of life that we don't ask for, don't appreciate in the moment but which in retrospect we thank God for. 

I have had interruptions that brought with them career changes that were from God, personal growth that would not have come any other way, and in fact every significant growth spot in my life can be traced back to an interruption. They are strategic to our growth and development so when they happen, take advantage of them and ask God what He has in mind through them. He always does!

Are you good enough?

How many of us live with a deep sense of unworthiness afraid that if people knew the real us we would not be loved? I have been there. How many of us have spent our lives trying to please God so that we are worthy of Him? I have been there too. How many of us have felt deep down inside, I am not good enough? I have lived there as well. 

If there is any message in the Easter story it is that God, through the death and resurrection of Jesus has taken unworthy, broken, sinful, undone people and made us worthy and good in His sight by being broken for us. 

Because of His death I no longer need to live with a sense of unworthiness. In fact He paid the ultimate sacrifice for me! When I was unworthy He died for me so that I could be made worthy.

Because of His death I no longer need to try to earn God's favor. Rather He gave me His favor as a free gift (Ephesians 2:8). Since I already have it, it is futile to try to earn it. How can one earn what they already have?

Because of His death, I don't need to be good enough! He took all my not good enough and nailed it to the cross and made me His family and His possession, and gave me a piece of Himself - the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1). My not good enough has been replaced by His making me perfect in His sight - through His blood.

Easter is a reminder that because of His sacrifice, and if we have invited Him into our lives that we are worthy, that we can give up trying to earn His favor and that He has made us holy and family and clean. 

Because of Easter I no longer need to live with shame, fear or pretense. My brokenness, shame, fear, unworthiness have been replaced by wholeness and worthiness - through Him. Now if I could only remember that every day!

When life hangs between despair and hope

What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds who had called for His life keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.

It had to be like a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. 

We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It is the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns.

It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair. The morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope.