A willingness to reconcile is a sign of Christ in us

I have written recently on the propensity of people to cancel out those they disagree with, the lack of kindness and love among church board members and evangelicals at large. It is as if the church has lost the ability or desire to be peacemakers in the midst of conflict. To be willing to take on the humility of Jesus who "made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:7-8). All for our benefit

How often we are unwilling today to initiate a conversation to say "I am sorry." How often we are unwilling to enter into a conversation to resolve conflict and differences. We would rather walk away - and in that act - we carry our animus and bitterness or sense of offense with us. How often we are unwilling to take the first step toward reconciliation. Instead we insist that the other party do so. How often we refuse to forgive one another and instead carry our offenses with us.

In doing so we drop friendships, leave churches, leave conflict unresolved, carry a burden Jesus never intended us to carry and deny the power of God who came to reconcile us to Him and then to one another. In fact we are told that we are ministers of reconciliation just as Jesus was with us (2 Corinthians 5:11-21). And, He took the first step when we didn't deserve it. Otherwise there would have been no reconciliation with Him. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

Yet, too often we refuse to reconcile and hang on to our pride. I have done it and you have done it and it is a denial of the One who chose to forgive us when we didn't deserve it. So we cancel one another, split congregations, leave churches, refuse to talk to those we have differences with (unless they repent) and in the process deny that Jesus is Lord in our own lives. 

I am sad for the church today with its conflict and strife. I am sad for my heart when I contribute to the same. In fact, in my Easter journal entry I wrote down these commitments regarding how I want to treat fellow believers:

In my relationships with other believers,

• My goal is to understand and seek peace
• To refrain from judging when it is not necessary or productive
• To think the best rather than the worst
• To forgive freely even when I am hurt
• To ask forgiveness when I have hurt others
• To pray God's blessing on those I would rather cancel
• To ask God to change me before I ask Him to change others
• To be as gentle, patient and kind with those who irritate me as God is with me
• To seek to apply the Fruit of the Spirit with those who I don't like as well as those I do like
• To think about my relationships in light of eternity
• To give up my "rights" to my attitudes, judgements, harsh words, gossip, hard feelings and desires for retribution in pace of the attitudes of Jesus

In several conversations over these issues, people have said to me. "I am not ready to do that," or "that is too hard." Or, "I don't want to do that and don't intend to." There have been times when I have said that as well so I do not and cannot cast stones. 

But whenever we choose the route that is easiest rather than the route that Jesus calls us to and which reflects His character toward us we choose a life of bondage over freedom.

Here is the thing. The evil one comes to steal, kill and destroy - and that includes our friendships, relationships, the unity in the church and our own well being. The good shepherd on the other hand comes to bring life and life abundant (John 10:10). This includes reconciliation of relationships, something that is often difficult without the help of the Holy Spirit. 

Years ago, I held on to an offense that I felt justified about. Another brother in Christ said to me, "you are the more mature one here, go and make it right." It made me angry because I was the one who was wronged. But he was right and I eventually did so. Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall see God." Why? Because that is the nature of who God is and He calls us to the ministry of reconciliation.

Who is it that we need to be reconciled with today? Are we willing to act and encounter His freedom in our lives, or will we refuse and live with a burden of our own making? It is always our choice.

But it is a choice! Either way it is a choice!

When Martyn Lloyd-Jones confronted a pastor who loved controversy and denunciation - from the Gospel Coalition

 

We live in a day when Christians are quick to denounce other believers. Here is a remarkable story of a pillar of the faith who challenged someone who loved controversy and denunciation.  It is from the Gospel Coalition.

When Martyn Lloyd-Jones Confronted a Pastor Who Loved Controversy and Denunciation

Twelve Traits of a Humble Leader

 

There is much discussion about humility in leadership. It's a good discussion for all leaders to have. However, it is the behaviors of humble leaders that are most important. Humility in leadership is seen in how a leader acts in very tangible ways. Here are some of the most important traits of a humble leader.

Humble leaders:

• Listen far more than they speak. They genuinely want to know what others think and they listen carefully.

• Seek a diversity of opinions rather than simply listening to those who agree with them. They want to know as much as they can and listen to a wide variety of advice.

• Ask many and good questions. They engage in dialogue and conversation rather than telling people what they think.

• Serve those who work for them rather than expecting others to serve them. Like Jesus they come to be served rather than to be served.

• Are non-defensive when challenged. 

• Engage in robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table with the exception of a personal attack or hidden agenda.

• Do not ask staff to do what they are unwilling to do themselves.

• Are deeply introspective and understand their strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

• Live with an attitude that they have nothing to prove, nothing to lose and nothing to hide.

• Are appropriately transparent regarding their areas of growth and personal challenges.

• Are not easily angered and keep their emotions in check. 

• Treat all people with respect, dignity and kindness.

It is one thing to believe that we are humble. It is another to actually live with the traits of humility. 

Growing my faith in the face of death. Tim Keller in the Atlantic Magazine

 

A very poignant and transparent article from Tim Keller in the Atlantic

Growing My Faith in the Face of Death

I spent a lifetime counseling others before my diagnosis. Will I be able to take my own advice?

Refreshing your church's governance and leadership paradigm

 

Few things impact the life of your church more, but are thought about less than that of your governance and leadership paradigm.

Recently I was in a board conversation where a board member said, "this is the first time in decades that we have evaluated ourselves or how we do our work as a board." Think about that. All major ministry decisions go though a leadership board in most churches, but we rarely pay attention to how well we do the governance/leadership role.

Why do we regularly update our ministry strategies to meet the needs of a new day but rarely update our governance/leadership strategies to meet the needs of a new day?

Jesus designed the church to be the most effective, flexible, and missional organism on the face of the earth. Yet, our leadership systems are often clunky and difficult to negotiate. Remember this:

• In many cases our leadership systems come from many years in the past when the church was founded. A different day with different needs and a different understanding of leadership paradigms. 
• Governance/leadership systems were put in when the church was small. If your church is over 150 on a Sunday it is no longer a family church.
• Nearly every growing church has reexamined their leadership/governance systems to ensure that it serves them well today. What got you to here, got you to here but it won't get you to there.
• Boards and church leaders should examine their systems annually, yet many have not done so in a decade if ever.
• Church leaders often have frustrations about their leadership paradigms that could be eliminated if so desired.
• All this matters because the return on our ministry investment is eternal. The stakes matter and our ability to remain effective, flexible and missional is always at stake.

If you have not examined how you do leadership/governance in your congregation in the past five years, I would encourage you to do so. My book, High Impact Church Boards can help you understand how to evaluate and organize for maximum spiritual impact. 

In addition, I am available to meet with church boards and dialogue with them on the challenges they face and possible solutions. With zoom technology, this can be done easily at low cost to you. If interested, you may contact me at tjaddington@gmail.com.

If your leadership/governance system needs to be refreshed. Do so for the sake of the impact that God desires your congregation to have. 

When Christians become the barrier to others hearing the Gospel

 

We live in the age of the "nones" and the "dones." The nones are those who claim no religious affiliation and the dones are those who are fed up and done with the church. Believers rightly decry the secularization of society and the shrinking church but they don't understand that they have directly contributed to both. 

In the early days of the church as recorded in Acts 4:32-35, we see a remarkable picture of healthy relationships among believers. "All the believers were of one heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they  had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put them at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need."

It was the quality of relationships among believers in the early church that attracted the attention of unbelievers. Today, it is the lack of quality in relationships among believers that repel people from the church. As such, believers have become one of the major barriers to people responding the the Gospel. 

This is nowhere more evident than in the public space of social media where as a group, those who call themselves believers display a lack of any Christian love or Fruit of the Spirit in their responses to others they disagree with. Many are despicable in their attitude and content, even demonizing those they disagree with. The interesting thing is that almost no one calls out the disparity between what we profess to believe and how we relate and act. 

In local congregations, it is often no different. After our recent Easter service in the church I serve, a parishioner sent in a comment to staff with profanity around a small issue they didn't like. I responded by telling him that I was very sorry that our staff needed to see his words and that they were not the words of Jesus. If you have been to those hallmarks of the American church, congregational meetings, you know how harsh, unkind and selfish many of the remarks are. And the thing is, all this vile stuff comes from the heart, according to Jesus.  What is inside us will inevitable come out of us. So it begs the question of how much of Jesus is in our hearts!

Why would an unbeliever want to join a group (evangelicals) that is often angry, lacks basic relational decency, is candidly selfish (what's in it for me), participates regularly in gossip, evaluates you by your politics and lacks the love that is supposed to characterize believers who have the Holy Spirit living within them? Many of the dones would say, "I love Jesus but I don't like a lot of Christians. They are mean and churches can be mean." No façade of welcome teams or "great worship" can hide the underlying meanness of many congregations.

As one who has worked with hundreds of church boards I can attest to the same kinds of behaviors at the board level, and these are people who represent Jesus as leaders of the church: Ouch! In many cases, if parishioners knew what happened within the confines of the board room, they too would become dones. 

If this sounds pessimistic, recent studies show that many in our country just don't like Christians. They don't find Christians to be kind and accepting but harsh, unkind and judgmental.  In other words, they don't see Christians as reflecting Jesus. We can be like kids throwing sand in one another's faces in the sandbox and then inviting the kids outside the sandbox to join us. Why would they do that?

All of this points to a failure of discipleship. How we treat one another matters a lot. When we violate not only basic standards of decency in our words and attitudes to say nothing of the much high level we are called to in displaying the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5), we push people away from Christ and we fail to see that our own lives are not reflective of the teaching of Scripture, the example of Christ and the needed transformation of our own minds. As a result, rather than attracting others to our loving family as in Acts 4, we give people every reason not to join our families because they are often not loving at all.

One of the most powerful evangelism strategies any church can enter into is that of developing a church and relational culture that looks like Jesus and reflects His character. Is that easy? No. Culture change is always difficult. Can it be done? Yes, but it involves some hard teaching and a willingness to declare some behaviors illegal in the church because they are not pleasing to God. If we look like Jesus we will attract those who need His love and grace. If we look like something else we won't.

For each of us, it starts with us. Let's evaluate our own relational interactions. Our own words and attitudes and compare them to what we see in Jesus in the Gospels. If we want others to see Jesus in us, we need to become like Jesus.

My fear is that a large segment of the evangelical world today have become Pharisees rather than disciples of Jesus. And the Pharisees didn't attract others but alienated them. Let's develop congregations where the goodness of God is evident. People will respond. 

If you want to know the health or dishealth of your church board, pay attention to the quality of relationships

 

One of the key indicators of a board health the quality of relationships between board members. As you read this list of poor interpersonal relationships, ask yourself if any of them apply to your church board. If yes, it is imperative that you find a way to resolve the issues because these never just stay on the board but spill out onto the congregation as a whole. Ask me, I have worked with many such situations.

• Poor interpersonal relationships between members (whether a few or many)
• Factions on a board that are unable to come to consensus
• Unresolved conflict and an inability to resolve that conflict because board members will not submit to one another
• The pastor is seen as an employee of the board rather than as a full member of the board. When a pastor is treated like an employee you have set yourself up for factions, us them and poor relationships
• The inability to deal with certain subjects because one or more board members block the discussion
• There is a powerbroker on the board who uses their influence to get their way and refuses to be accountable to the board as a whole
• A significant amount of directional clarity. It is hard to get clarity when any of the above behaviors are present
• There are personal agendas or hidden agendas that one can sense but are not named
• A lack of concern for one another
• The Fruit of the Spirit is not evident in relationships and discussions
• Board members make up their own rules and operate independently even though that violates basic board practices
• You cannot hold a board member who is causing issues on the board because either the board will not hold them accountable or they refuse to be accountable 

Recently, in a discussion with a friend about issues like this on a board they serve on, I said, "your church is at significant risk and if the board cannot get their act together I would resign rather than be complicit in a leadership situation that your board cannot or will not deal with.

What is interesting to me is that in many churches where such behavior resides at the board level, they insist that the same behavior cannot be resident in the congregation as a whole and even use church discipline to enforce their way. How can a board that cannot police itself have the conviction that they can enforce right conduct in a congregation? What right does a board have to tell a congregant to humbly submit to their will when the board cannot submit to the will of the board? It is hypocrisy, and it is sinful and it will hurt the very people that they are charged with protecting.

Sometimes the congregation needs to be protected from the very board that is charged with guiding them.

These are spiritual issues and they demand reformation. There is no Church called TOV when these behaviors are present. TOV or goodness, starts with the leaders of a church. Many people and many congregations have been hurt when the board itself becomes the largest violator of TOV or goodness. Unfortunately it is not a rare occurrence. 

Here is an interesting question to consider. If the average parishioner knew what transpired in your board room, would they be motivated to stay or leave? To love Jesus more or less? To be confident in the leadership or less? 

You can fool a congregation for a time, but not forever. I plead with any who are in this situation to get help for your board.

Redefining Christian relationships in a cancel culture world

 

I have been mulling in recent months on the fragile nature of relationships among Christians. And the rise of the Cancel Culture has had its impact among believers as well. It is very easy for what one assumed was a long, fruitful and close relationship to be dissolved overnight and for that relationship to be cancelled, sometimes permanently.

Now, relational wreckage is not new. Paul and Barnabas parted company over John Mark with deep, raw emotion on both sides. Paul had to ask the church to help two woman friends of his reconcile. In the first case we know that reconciliation took place years later. We are not sure of what happened with the two women. Then there was the time when Paul publicly rebuked Peter which I am sure caused significant relational issues. And they were both Apostles. 

My conclusion is that even though we live with the Holy Spirit within us, seek to exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit, are called to live in unity and peace with one another (to the extent that we can), are to forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us, that there are times when relationships end up in the ditch anyway this side of heaven. This is a tribute to our sinful and broken condition. There are also times when reconciliation takes place between brothers or sisters who have been deeply at odds and that is a tribute to the power of the Holy Spirit.  These two conditions, our sinful and broken condition are always at war with what the Holy Spirit wants to do in our lives. 

How odd it will be that in heaven, those who were our worst enemy in this life but who know Jesus, will be someone with whom we will have perfect harmony with. And yes, even like and love, without any hint of whatever it was that separated us here. In fact, in heaven we will not be able to despise or marginalize or cancel or live with any kind of animosity as our hearts, that have been redeemed fully here, will live out the implications of that redemption fully there. Just reading those words makes me want to try to start living out the implications on this side of heaven.

This latter fact makes me want to see my relationships not in light of my life here but in light of eternity. If the unity of the Spirit will be lived out throughout eternity is God's desired plan why would I not want to do all that I can to capture that unity in this life since Christ lives in me? The fact that I would rather carry my hurt, pain, unforgiveness or give up my prerogative to put others down or slander their character are of course not good excuses to God. He calls that sin - and sometimes we love it. Yet, we know that one day we will regret it.

So where does all this leave me? That which consumed my journal on this past Easter morning. It leaves me with these commitments that I will imperfectly live out but which I aspire to. In my relationships with other believers,

• My goal is to understand and seek peace

• To refrain from judging when it is not necessary or productive

• To think the best rather than the worst

• To forgive freely even when I am hurt

• To ask forgiveness when I have hurt others

• To pray God's blessing on those I would rather cancel

• To ask God to change me before I ask Him to change others

• To be as gentle, patient and kind with those who irritate me as God is with me

• To seek to apply the Fruit of the Spirit with those who I don't like as well as those I do like

• To think about my relationships in light of eternity

• To give up my "rights" to my attitudes, judgements, harsh words, gossip, hard feelings and desires for retribution in pace of the attitudes of Jesus

All of these are countercultural because they reflect Jesus. The harder it is the more I must acknowledge my own brokenness. But one thing I do have to do is grapple. Jesus does want me to act on earth as I will in heaven. In fact, I believe we pray that every time we pray the Lord's prayer. So the answer to my Easter musings are not easy answers which I guess is why Jesus implanted His Holy Spirit in each of us. God help us to do better.

An opinion piece from the New York Times: Why Is Jesus Still Wounded After His Resurrection?

 

Why Is Jesus Still Wounded After His Resurrection?

“The risen but scarred body of Christ is the ultimate signifier of divine empathy.”

By Peter Wehner

Mr. Wehner, who served in various roles in the three Republican administrations before the Trump administration, is a contributing Opinion writer. He attends McLean Presbyterian Church in McLean, Va.

April 3, 2021

Cruelty is Apostacy: Reflections on Beth Moore's departure from the Southern Baptist Convention by David French

 Cruelty Is Apostasy

Reflections on Beth Moore’s departure from the Southern Baptist Convention.

By David French - A must read

The decision by Beth Moore to leave the SBC is a day of reckoning for the SBC and other denominations

 

Beth's announcement that she is leaving the Southern Baptist Convention hit like a bombshell today. As a gifted teacher, writer, leader and a critic of the behavior of the former president, her popular Bible Studies, books and teaching have made her a lightening rod within the SBC both by those who don't like her politics and by those who believe a woman should not teach men - even though Beth has played by the SBC rules on this issue. Her ministry, Living Proof Ministries has significant reach around the world. As part of her announcement today, Moore also said that Lifeway would no longer be her publisher.

A reading of the twitter feed in the wake of her announcement indicates that the SBC can be a very tough place for a gifted woman teacher and writer. She was called "a false teacher," someone who places her "feelings above Scripture," "brainwashed by Satan,"  "outside the pale of orthodoxy," "an entertainer enamored by herself," and the list goes on. 

Moore has spoken to the issue of Christian Nationalism within the SBC, the lack of concern about sexual victims in the church, sexism, and large racial divides that are resulting in the departure of many black pastors and congregations from the SBC. 

What is particularly interesting in the comments regarding Moore's departure on Twitter is that a large percentage of the comments are about President Trump and the need for the church to support him. This is an indication of how closely aligned the SBC has become (for many of their churches and leaders) to a political figure and a political party. When politics becomes the deciding factor of debate over the Gospel and Jesus, a rival God has raised its head. 

One thing can be said with certainty. The SBC is not a friendly place for a gifted woman teacher. This is not a debate about whether the church should be complementarian or egalitarian as the boundaries in many parts of the SBC are stringent and unyielding. 

This is a day of reckoning for the denomination that is already immersed in political battles. When a high profile woman (a New York Times Best Seller) can no longer minister freely within the SBC I suspect that many are going to take note and over the coming years follow her out. This is not because she wants to hurt the movement but because her efforts to raise awareness of important issues in the church have been met with derision and personal attacks. 

The truth is that Moore is deeply loved by many within and outside of the SBC. Those who love her will pay attention to what happened to her. Further, it is deeply disappointing to many that there was no longer a place for a gifted woman in the SBC.

All of this raises important issues within denominations as to whether a woman is able to use her gifts. In fact, it is ironic that the vast majority of the mission money in the SBC is raised in the name of Lottie Moon, a Southern Baptist missionary to China, but there seems to be nor enough room for Beth Moore. 

Regardless of one's theology regarding complementarianism or egalitarianism, if women are treated as second class citizens in the church, disrespected and cannot use their God given gifts, there is rot in the church. The treatment of Aimee Byrd, another popular author in the conservative ranks has been despicable and sad. 

For more on this story, see the Christianity Today Article on Beth Moore's decision to leave the SBC.

The key to humility is personal security

The more secure I am in who God made me to be

 and who my Father in heaven is,

 the better I can lead with humility

 rather than pride. 

Proud people are often insecure people. Because of their personal insecurities, they need to be right, control others, get their way, have the approval of others, and have a need to prove something to the world and those around them. Those who have personal security, on the other hand, know who they are and have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide. They can be humble!

Jesus illustrates this in John 13 when on the eve of His death He washes the feet of His disciples. "The evening meal was in progress and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:2-5).

What Jesus did here was astonishing to His disciples. In fact, when Jesus got to Peter, he balked and told Jesus there was no way He could wash His feet. This job was for servants, not men of stature and dignity. Further, Jesus was the master, and masters didn't serve their disciples; it was the other way around. Jesus did what many leaders today will not or cannot do. He served His disciples and demonstrated that service with this humble act.

What struck me recently, however, are these words that precede his foot washing. "Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist."

These are not insignificant words! Jesus knew who He was in relation to His father. He was personally secure, even on the eve of His death. He knew who He was, and He knew who His father was and therefore was not at all embarrassed to wash His disciple's feet, although they were embarrassed that He would do so. 

Here is the truth. The more secure we are in ourselves, the less we must prove ourselves to others. The more secure we are in our Heavenly Father, the more we can serve others humbly rather than live with pride. At its root, pride comes from personal insecurities and our need to prove something. Humility comes from personal security and the lack of a need to prove anything to anyone. Security removes our need to position ourselves, prove ourselves or lift ourselves up. Security frees us to serve as Jesus served us and serves us still.

In leadership, humility is a key trait for lasting influence. To lead humbly, we need to understand that our leadership is a stewardship and not a right. The more secure I am in who God made me to be and who my Father in heaven is, the better I can lead with humility rather than pride. 

Clarity is Job One in any governance system

 

Ask any board or staff member in a church or non-profit and you will get the same answer to this question: What is the number one frustration you face in your leadership role. The answers will often be these:

• We don't have clarity on who is responsible for what
• We experience frustration or conflict regarding roles and responsibilities
• We often feel disempowered by those who think they have the responsibility to make decisions we think we should be able to make
• We don't feel empowered in our role
• If only the board (or staff) would stay out of our way
• Because no one is clearly responsible we don't know who to hold responsible
• Lack of clarity is causing confusion at best and conflict at worst

All of these have one thing in common. That commonality is clarity. Clarity in roles, responsibilities, intended results and the freedom to act within boundaries without the permission of others.

I am currently working with a congregation that is in a process to clarity their governance structure. They interviewed a number of other congregations about their process of governance and the one thing that consistently came back to them was this. Have maximum clarity around roles, responsibilities and outcomes. Without clarity there is no accountability. Without clarity people are not empowered to act. Without clarity there is at best confusion and at worst, conflict.

Every governance system must define the roles and responsibilities of four parties: The congregation, the senior board, the staff and ministry teams. The clearer you are, the more empowerment there is and the more accountability there will be. The foggier you are the less empowerment you will have and there will be little to no accountability.

My observation is that many governance systems are designed deliberately to create fog rather than clarity because with clarity people can act in their sphere of influence. In such churches, you will notice that they hit a ceiling and never exceed that ceiling because clarity of roles and responsibilities is critical to growth. In their lack of clarity they unwittingly limit their growth and effectiveness.  Lack of clarity has a built in ceiling to growth and effectiveness. 

Without clarity you cannot have alignment. Without alignment you cannot move in the same direction. And, without clarity and alignment, you cannot achieve results that are consistent with your clarity. Something to think about.

If you want more help in getting to clarity, my books High Impact Church Boards and Leading From the Sandbox can point you in the right direction. Remember, clarity is always Job One.

Five staff behaviors that will hurt your organization

 

There are certain behaviors that I don't want on my team or in the organization I help lead. In fact, I don't think these behaviors belong in any organization that has a commitment to health. However, many leaders think that they simply have to put up with these behaviors. You don't! And, in my view you shouldn't. 

These behaviors have nothing to do with professional competence. They do have to do with Emotional Intelligence and the culture of the organization. The health of the organizational culture, however, is not only key to the success of the organization but to the happiness of one's staff. This is why I am so sensitive to these behaviors and will do everything I can to root them out.

People who forge unhealthy alliances with other staff

When I hear negative comments around common themes from different staff I usually pay attention because they often emanate from a single source who has forged alliances with others and shared their negativity. I call these the "voice behind the voices" and their influence through these alliances can turn otherwise happy staff into staff who develop a chip on their shoulders around some issue. This is a cancer to the organizational health.

Those who don't buy into the mission of the organization

Mission and vision is everything. If staff don't buy into them, they are actually working at cross purposes with everything you are trying to accomplish. Those who are not going with you are an anchor creating a drag on your progress. Even if they are competent, they are not contributing to your forward progress.

Those who love to throw water on ideas or conversation

These are the folks who have the ability to shut down discussion. They may be cynics, they may not like the ideas of others. Why they do what they do is not the issue. That they do is the issue. These can be supervisors or staff but they keep others from engaging. Anyone who has the ability to shut down discussion with words or attitudes squashes creativity, engagement and motivation.

Professional critics

There are individuals who see their contribution to the human condition as that of pointing out what is wrong and what should change. What they don't often do is to offer solutions. And often, their criticism is subtly directed at certain individuals - often leaders. While there are many issues that need to be tackled, the end result of the contribution of professional critics is to create a negative culture, rather than a positive culture that seeks to solve problems. While these individuals often think they are doing an organization a service, they are actually doing a disservice.

Personal agendas

Individuals with personal agendas are toxic because the motivations behind their behaviors are hidden rather than public. Personal agendas may be around organizational direction, is often around power and influence or it may be something else. The salient point is that their intentions are hidden and therefore one is not able to address it as an issue. This creates confusion at best and conflict at worst. There is an agenda behind the curtain that is hidden.

None of these behaviors will motivate your staff or contribute to forward momentum to your mission. On the contrary, they will be a drag on the organization and will rob you of cultural health.

How does one deal with unhealthy individuals who fit these or other unhealthy categories?

 

First, it is critical to have a defined culture as your preferred or stated culture should rule out unhealthy behaviors and give you an objective standard to call people to live up to. A good description of your preferred culture should rule out behaviors that are problematic.

Second, it is important to be clear with your staff both on your preferred culture and those behaviors that are not OK within your organization and why. Culture is something that must be created. We ignore it at our own peril and it should be a constant discussion.

Third, training in EQ (Emotional Intelligence) can be very helpful. Each of the dysfunctional behaviors here are also EQ issues. The better the combined EQ of the staff the fewer problematic behaviors will be present.

Fourth, when you have staff members who are repeat offenders of one or more of the behaviors above, you have to have direct, candid and clear discussions to help them understand that their behaviors are not acceptable. 

Fifth, where coaching is not working, it is often time to move an individual off your team or your organization. 

Remember. When it comes to your culture, you get what you create or allow.

Pray for the country of Myanmar and the Christian church in the aftermath of the Military coup - Christianity Today

 

After Military Coup, It’s ‘Time to Shout’ for Myanmar Evangelicals -Christianity Today

Don't miss these three significant lessons that Covid taught the church

 

Nothing happens in this world

 that does not first pass by the hand of God

 and which He does not use to build His church!

There are three lessons that Covid taught the church that should not be missed. In fact, if your church misses these three lessons you will be poorer for it and may see your ministry decline. If you are waiting for things to come back to normal and assume that this normal is what was, I suspect you will be deeply disappointed. The new normal will not look like the past normal. 

Covid has brought home lessons and has accelerated change. We need to learn the lessons it has taught us. If we learn these lessons we will see greater ministry impact. If not, not.

The first lesson is that the church is not our campus or our building but God's people. Don't miss that. For years in the west, we have taught our people that church is the building and the campus, and we built some great facilities. There is nothing wrong with these facilities. What is wrong is the concept that the church is the facility. Having not been able to be in that facility for almost a year, we have had to find new ways of doing ministry. God has taught us that the facility is not the church, but that God's people are the church.

In fact, this definition of the church, which is the New Testament definition, is the church distributed throughout the community, which is how God designed the church. In this season we have told our people to be the church where they live and work. That is different than the concept that to be the church you need to be at the physical church location. 

This cannot change! Jesus gave us the opportunity to learn this lesson and our people should not be allowed to unlearn it. The church is not the building. The church is God's people. This is one of the most fundamental realignments of the church that Covid has brought us. It is a gift and needs to be reinforced. 

The corollary to this, and the second lesson, is that ministry is not the purview of church staff but of all of God's people. This is after all the theology of the New Testament. but in the west we often hire staff to do ministry rather than releasing everyone in ministry. In this season, we have had to encourage everyone to be the church in their place of work and in their neighborhood. 

Again, this is a lesson that we must capitalize on. The reason the church has so little influence in society is that God's people have not seen themselves as the ultimate owners of ministry (that is what paid staff do). In many cases, post Covid, church staffs will be smaller and that is perhaps a good thing as it forces ministry back to those who were to originally carry it out - all of God's people.

A third lesson is that in this season we have had to find innovative and new ways to do ministry, engage people and share the Good News. This cannot change moving forward. Covid has sped up changes that were already happening and our ministry environment is very different than it was previously. Traditional paradigms will not reach many of the younger generations so we must innovate if we are going to engage them with the gospel. Those who resist innovation and change and new ways of engaging people with the gospel will see their Gospel influence decline.

In some respects, Covid was a gift to the church. Don't waste the gift.

15 things a church board should not do

 

In my years of working with church boards and teaching best practices, I have discovered a number of things that boards should not do. If you lead or serve on a church board, ask yourself if you are doing any of the following.

Church boards should not:

Manage staff beyond the senior leader. All staff should report to the senior leader, and the board's responsibility is the senior leader only

Require unanimity on decisions. This allows any board member to hold the board hostage.

Avoid conflict of ideas. Conflict of ideas is a good thing, and it helps the board get to the best decisions.

Manage the present at the expense of the future. There must be a significant future component to board meetings. Leadership is more about where you are going than managing the status quo

Ignore the spiritual. Boards can easily get trapped in the business of the church rather than the spiritual work the church has been called to do. Remember the words of Jesus. "Without me, you can do nothing." Don't ignore Him.

Fail to have a board covenant. Board covenants lay out the ground rules for how the board will operate, make decisions, work with one another, and a way to hold one another accountable. Operate without a board covenant at your own risk.

Fail to use an agenda. Meeting without a plan wastes a great deal of time. Have an agenda and keep your time parameters.

Fail to guard the gate to board service. Your board is only as good as the people you choose to put on it. Don't be careless about who you let into the boardroom.

Cave to loud voices. Boards can be easily dissuaded by loud voices in the congregation. Rather than respond in fear and back off, the responsibility of a board is to move the congregation forward regardless of a few loud voices.

Fail to police board members who don't operate by your board covenant. A board that cannot police itself becomes ineffective, and that impacts the whole church.

Lack transparency in their communications. Whatever you say to the congregation must be true, not spin. Being honest and upfront builds credibility.

Allow a person of influence on the board or in the church to hold informal veto power over board decisions. Yes, it happens. Don't let it happen in your church.

Fail to have a common job description for all board members that spells out their roles. If you don't have a job description, each member will make their own, which leads to confusion.

Make the same decision multiple times. Make decisions and move on. Don't make partial decisions and need to come back to the same issue again.

Neglect personal relationships or fail to build a strong, unified team. God calls the congregation to unity, and it starts with the board. Neglect it there, and it will not be found in the congregation.

Ways that church board members view their role impacts board effectiveness

 

How individual board members see their role as a church leader directly impacts the ethos of your board and the effectiveness of its work. Often, however, we have not defined the role of the board and board members with clarity, so these individual beliefs about one's role create hidden but real barriers to effective board work. 

Having worked with thousands of church leaders, here are some of the common but faulty beliefs about why one serves in church leadership. Each of these views will impact decisions that a board member is willing to make.

• I am here to represent the desires of the congregation - similar to how an elected official serves their constituency.  
• I am here to guard the status quo and ensure that we don't upset the status quo. In general, what we have done in the past has worked well.
• I am here to represent my faction or group in the church and guard their interests.
• I am here to steer the church in a better direction and I have strong convictions about what the church should be doing and how it should do it.
• As a church leader, I have the authority to bring any issue to the table for board discussion.
• I want to ensure that the pastor stays in line and that ministry goes smoothly.
• I am here to ensure that the staff does their job.
• I am here because it is my turn to serve in church leadership.
• I am not sure why I am here except that the nominating committee asked me to be.
• I am here as part of a team of under shepherds of Jesus Christ, the Lord of the church to ensure that the spiritual temperature of the church is kept high, that the congregation is taught well, empowered and released, protected, cared for and led in healthy directions. I work with the board and Senior Pastor to ensure that our staff are empowered, encouraged and that our congregation is empowered and released in meaningful ministry and that we are moving toward our agreed upon ministry goals.

Only one of these views on why we serve in church leadership is valid - it is the last one. But all too often, this is not the common understanding of what it means to be a church board member because we don't have job descriptions that are biblical or understood by all on the board. In other words, there is not clarity on the job description and parameters of church leadership. All but the last statement are deeply flawed but common descriptors of how church leaders see their role.

The various reasons that board members give to why they serve in leadership are also the reason that so many boards experience conflict, gridlock and difficult decision making. If we have not stacked hands on why we are there and if it does not reflect the Biblical teaching for senior leaders, we will not be unified, effective or missional. It is that simple.

How does a board get on the same page?

Agree on a simple but Biblical job description for leaders including the Biblical job description (keeping the spiritual temperature high, ensuring that the congregation is taught, protected, cared for, empowered and released and led well.

Be clear on lines of authority as to what is a board responsibility and what is staff responsibility. One of the problems in many boards is the confusion of authority and responsibilities between these two entities. Clarity prevents a great deal of confusion.

Be sure that board members understand that they represent the whole church and not a section or constituency in the church. Board members are always there for the whole. Never a part.

Be sure you have a team covenant that lays out how your board will make decisions and how it will work together. Agree that you will hold members accountable to that covenant. If you don't, you will have confusion, gridlock or conflict. 

You must have an agreed upon document that spells out the qualifications for board members. If the wrong people get on the board, you will have trouble leading. 

My book, "High Impact Church Boards" can help you on these topics. What I can say is that getting on the same page together is one of the most important things you can do as a board.