When conflict is a good thing

You may be surprised by the title of the blog but the fact is that there can be significant value in conflict if it handled correctly. I am not talking about conflict that arises from poor EQ or power games. I am talking about the conflict of ideas, methodology and priorities.

Why can this be a good thing? For one, it reveals that there are issues that are not clear among those who are experiencing the conflict. Lack of clarity is never a good thing (see yesterday’s blog) so the very fact that there is a lack of clarity gives you the opportunity to work through the issues and come to clarity on an issue that needs clarification.

In addition, it is in the clash of ideas that the best solutions are found. That is why the best organizations today are relatively flat where information is available to all and where it is OK to press into things that we believe need pressing into. Where robust dialogue cannot be had, you have an organization that will suffer because of it. The ability of staff to be able to be candid with one another and their leaders is a barometer of the health of the organization.

One of the common mistakes in conflict is to personalize it rather than to keep it de-personal and seek to identify the clash of values, ideas, or outcomes that has caused the conflict. Getting to what lies behind the conflicting views can help us understand the root issue(s) and allows the group to think through the implications of those root issues. This takes a non-defensive posture by all and a willingness to allow the robust conversation that needs to be had. Often, when you dig to find the root issues – and this only happens in dialogue – you realize that there is an important issue at stake and it was the conflict that brought it to the surface.

Healthy groups have learned the skill of non-defensive conversation and have the ability to keep the conflict centered around issues rather than people. That is a learned skill and a sign of healthy emotional intelligence. It also allows you to use conflict to your advantage rather than allowing it to control you.

What should leaders want to know?

Leaders need to know certain things. Not all things but certain things. Too many leaders want to know the wrong things rather than the most important things. There are four categories of knowledge that are always critical to their success.

First, what is my staff thinking? Too often we assume we know what staff is thinking but we find we are wrong because we have not asked. I want to know if my staff is as passionate about our mission as I am. I want to know if our staff is concerned about issues that I am not aware of. I want to know if there are opinions that have not been shared. Staff is your key intelligence about what is actually going on and whether they are in alignment with you. If you don’t ask probing questions or if staff does not perceive that one wants to actually hear them, you won’t know.

Second, how happy is my staff? I friend of mine once did a consultation with a well known ministry and warned the leader that there was a high likelihood that he would lose key staff members over some dysfunctional organizational issues. The leader didn’t want to hear, didn’t believe the analysis and made no changes. Over the next several years, almost all the key leaders migrated out of the organization.

Staff happiness is impacted by many different issues but some of the most critical include: a compelling vision; ministry clarity; a challenging job; an empowering supervisor; and a collegial ethos. How do you know if staff is happy? Just ask! I ask regularly, “What is your happiness factor (on a scale of 1 to 10)? Almost always I get a candid answer and follow up with questions as to what would make it higher.  In doing so, I am made aware of important issues, some of which I may be able to change.

Third, what do I need to know? That is a common question I ask key staff members. They know a lot of things, much of which I don’t need to know as their leader. However, I trust them to tell me what they believe I need to know. Good staff is intuitive about what they wish their leader was aware of. Asking them this open ended question gives them the opportunity to share what they believe I need to know Follow up dialogue offers further insights.

Four, bad news and potential threats. One of our rules in ReachGlobal is that we don’t like surprises. We know that things will go wrong. We know that there are potential threats to what we do but unless our leaders or staff shares them with us, we cannot act on them.

There should be no surprises to the leader of an organization or to team leaders. Thus, in ReachGlobal we have the SDR rule (Sh** disclosure rule). We know things will go south from time to time but tell us when they do! We will do an autopsy without blame, learn lessons and move on.

Proactive leaders pay attention to the key issues they need to know on an ongoing basis.

Board development

Boards, whether church boards or ministry boards are like any other team that constantly needs to be growing, learning and evaluating its own effectiveness. Too often, we think that because we were put on a board that we have arrived and are among the learned. The truth is that most church and ministry boards are deeply in need of learning better practices and raising the bar on what they do.

But few boards in my experience have an ongoing commitment to growth or a plan for development. I also find board members who are resistant to growth. They are, after all, board members. Ironically, learning boards get more done, get better work done and help the ministries they oversee go to new levels because they themselves have taken a humble learning posture rather than a proud oversight posture.

What are some of the areas that boards need development in?

·       Group process

·       Decision making

·       Conflict resolution

·       Understanding differences in gifting and therefore perspective

·       Efficient meetings

·       Helping the organization get to clarity

·       Developing new board members

·       Ministry evaluation

·       Understanding what is board work and what is not

·       Role definition between staff and boards

·       What a good board member looks like

·       How to evaluate itself

Here are some suggestions for board development. Read several books a year together and set aside some time at one monthly board meeting to dialogue about what you read. Pay attention to blogs on boards such as you will find on this site and others. Periodically bring in someone who knows boards and can do some board training. Pay attention to ministries that resource boards. The bottom line is to be intentional about growing and learning as a board so that you continue to help your ministry develop. Humble, learning boards are the best boards.

Developing as a board is not ancillary work but a primary role of all healthy boards.

Self-deception

Self deception plagues us all to one degree or another but in its severe forms it can be the undoing of ministry leaders and cause significant pain to others.

How would one define self deception? It "is a process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument. Self-deception involves convincing oneself of a truth (or lack of truth) so that one does not reveal any self-knowledge of the deception" (Wikipedia). The Skeptic's Dictionary puts it this way: "Self-deception is that process or fact of misleading ourselves to accept claims about ourselves as true or valid when they are false or invalid. Self-deception, in short, is a way we justify false beliefs about ourselves to ourselves."

The inherent problem with self deception is that because we have deceived ourselves, we are unable to spot it in our own lives. A friend of mine told a colleague of his that he was self deceived in some critical areas. The colleague pushed back and said absolutely not! Well, how would you know if you were inquired my friend? He went on to point out that the only way for us to be made aware of significant self-deception is for others to point it out. It is something others see but we do not see it. David was self deceived over Bathsheba and it took an outsider, Nathan, to confront him and for David to realize his deception.

This means that the more accessible I am to others, the more likely it is that others can point out self deception in our lives. It also follows that the more isolated we are, or the more resistant to the observations of others, the more likely I will continue down a path of deception until an event is triggered where I am forced to face my issues. The latter is sad because it brings with it far more pain than would have been necessary had we faced our deception early on.

Satan loves to deceive and he is a master at helping to deceive us. In its most deadly form, deception allows us to break ethical and moral boundaries and to fully justify it to ourselves. Thus, we justify an affair, or stealing, or the way we treat those who work for us. After all, we are doing important things and we start to believe that the end justifies the means. Such justification is at the root of many harmful behaviors to ourselves and to others.

Self deception can come in many forms. I may believe that I am a better leader than I am, or may be blind to behaviors toward others that are hurtful. I know of many leaders who have lost their jobs in ministry because they were self deceived about how their staff saw them.  They assumed they were leading well and paying attention to the needs of staff while staff were feeling abandoned and micromanaged. I have also seen leaders deceived about their relationship to their boards until one day it all comes apart.

Because all of us have areas of self deception which are a threat to our leadership or followership, what can we do to minimize the potential damage?

One: We need to be constantly aware of the potential that we are deceived and evaluate our lives carefully and honestly.

Two: We need to have others around us who have permission to speak to us in the event they see blind spots or areas of deception. Wise leaders actually ask the question of those whom they trust around them because they are committed to personal health. Unwise leaders don’t ask and are not open to feedback. I once had someone accuse me of being responsible for issues in his life because I didn’t confront him with what I saw. What he did not realize is that he never asked and he sent very strong signals that he was not open to feedback. In fact, I had already had prior reason to push in on issues that he subsequently ignored. Eventually his world fell apart. He simply was not open to feedback.

Three: It is never a happy day to be confronted by a Nathan. We need to be willing, however, to seriously consider what others see in our lives, evaluate it carefully and respond non-defensively. Defensiveness pushes away feedback while transparency and non-defensiveness invites it.

Four: Invite the Holy Spirit to show you areas of deception. This was David’s plea in  Psalm 139: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Five: Read Leadership and self-deception. It will challenge you deeply.

Don’t be deceived over your own self deception!

I was wrong

Those are hard words for leaders (and others) to say. In fact, they are so hard that you rarely hear them and when you do it is not that direct but some softer variation. Spin and circumlocution are not the purview of politicians alone. 

Leaders don't like to be wrong. The best leaders work very hard to anticipate unintended consequences of decisions and mitigate against wrong decisions for the good of the organization. But all of us blow it from time to time: A bad hire; words that hurt; actions that disempower; strategies that betray us and the list could go on.

Often when that happens we try to explain our way out of it. Why we did it, what we missed, why it was the right thing to do at the time - as if any of those things mitigate against the fact that we were...well...wrong. 

How refreshing it is when a leader simply says. "I was wrong." Those around them know the truth anyway so a candid reply beats a defense of ourselves every time. 

I know leaders who have left a string of broken relationships behind them because they were unable to admit their errors when they violated other people or did not keep their word. You cannot restore broken trust without first admitting that you were wrong. Hard but necessary words. 

The hardest words are the most important words. Others know it is hard and they respect those who can say them. It models a transparency and humility that is much needed in leadership circles. The irony is that we lose respect when we hang on to our pride and gain it when we admit our mistakes.

I will forgive you because....

It is hard to forgive someone who has hurt us badly. Often times it is someone very close to us which is why the hurt is so severe. One of the lessons I have learned over the years in ministry is that we are more likely to be hurt by someone inside the Christian family than from the outside.

The question always is, should I forgive those who have wronged me - especially when they have not acknowledged the wrong and then, how do I do it when the pain is so severe?

I believe there are always three reasons to forgive.

First, Jesus tells me to. He does not tell me to forget, it will not happen. He does not tell me that the pain will disappear: it may fade with time but may never fully depart. He does not tell me that everything will be OK: it may not be. He does not say it will be easy: sometimes we have to forgive over and over and over as the pain and anger and betrayal refuse to go away. What He does say is to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22). This is one command that is a hard command. It is not fair or just or a natural thing to do. It is one of the hard sayings of Christ.


Is this not why holocaust survivor Corrie Ten Boom forgave those who committed the most heinous crimes against her? Her father and her sister Bessie died at the hands of the Nazi's and she endured the infamous Ravensbruck prison camp.

Corrie recounts the day she forgave her SS guard:


“It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former SS man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain blanched face.

He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message Fräulein”, he said “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side. Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.


I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your Forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.

And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”

Second, Jesus forgave me. It is the parable of the unmerciful servant, Matthew 18:21-35. It is also a hard saying: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." We have no standing before God when we say, "I will not forgive you for what you did to me" because Jesus forgave us when we did not deserve it. Our offenders may not have deserve our forgiveness - but we did not deserve an even greater forgiveness from Jesus. The truth is that none of us deserve forgiveness from God or from one another. He gave it freely and so we are to give it freely. From one undeserving recipient of grace to another undeserving in need of grace.

Third, bitterness is bondage while forgiveness is freedom. The bitterness that comes from holding on to grievances no matter how large or small is a prison. Here is the irony: when we are wronged the pain can be great but when we refuse to forgive the pain is greater and longer and even more bitter because we now must live with it daily. And this pain is self inflicted. The only way out of our own prison, the injury done to us by others and the injury done to ourselves is to forgive. It is in that act, which may need to be repeated over and over that our own freedom is secured. I refuse to be imprisoned by offenses done to me by others. In forgiveness I find freedom.

What I wish I knew as a young ministry leader

Failure is OK and God has a way of redeeming it

I don’t need to be right

The expectations of others should not define me

Criticism should not be taken personally

I don’t need to prove my worth

My ministry is not what gives me value

Emotional Intelligence is critical to leadership

Anxiety is always wasted energy

You cannot defend your reputation but God can

God cares more about who I am than what I do

God does not solve all issues this side of heaven

Expect the greatest pain from fellow believers

God is always sovereign over our biographies

What every ministry needs to know about clarity

The issue of organizational clarity: why we are here; what we hope to accomplish; what spells success and what are our non-negotiables is more important than we often understand. Here are some key things that we must understand about ministry clarity.

One: Maximum Clarity is the single most powerful accelerator of ministry results because in stripping away the ambiguities of what we are about, all parts of the organization can line up their arrows in the same direction. The corollary is that lack of clarity decelerates ministry effectiveness because energies are expended in different directions.

Two: Without clarity one cannot have alignment in the organization because there is nothing to align around other than general dreams or hopes. Without alignment you will not attract the right people, or the best people who want to know where the ministry is going and how it intends to get there.

Three: Without maximum clarity you cannot measure your progress. Frankly I think that some leaders don’t want the accountability of clarity because then progress can be measured. This is why so many reviews in ministry settings lack objective measurements. Without clarity you simply don’t have them.

Four: Getting to clarity among leaders, staff and boards raises to the surface differing views as to what the ministry is really about. I have seen this played out over and over. I will be told that there is significant agreement about the ministry and its direction but when you start to clarify those issues you realize that there are in fact competing ideas and visions. The good news is that in the clarifying process you surface those differing visions and settle on one compelling vision.

Five: Getting to clarity is some of the most difficult but rewarding work leaders do. It forces them to think about the most important issues of their work, identify direction, non-negotiables and what is central to what God is calling them to do and to be. There is nothing more rewarding when there is a general “Ah Ha” in the room that we got it right and that we can give our energies to a common direction and mission.

Six: Clarity is the missional glue that gives the organization meaning, definition, and purpose. It moves people from doing good things to doing truly important things together.

Spirit empowerment

The first guiding principle of the organization I lead, ReachGlobal, is that we are Word based and Spirit empowered. It is very much influenced by John 15 where Jesus talks to the disciples about what it means to abide in Him. I am always sobered by His statement in that discourse that “Without me you can do nothing.” I wonder how often we try to do things without Him, relying on our own resources, ideas and creativity.

There are 7 components to our ReachGlobal Sandbox Guiding Principles as it relates to Spirit empowerment. As you read them, think about your own ministry and how you define what it means to be Spirit empowered. While none of us do this perfectly, what would our ministries look like if we lived these seven commitments out?

1.     Hearing – We must be actively growing in our confidence of hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit and intentionally taking time to wait upon God to hear Him.

2.     Discerning – We must be growing in discerning His leading, direction, and will for our lives in all the different ways He reveals these to us.

3.     Obeying – We must live a lifestyle of obedience to the Scriptures, to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, to His will for our lives, and also having a healthy submission to those in authority over us.

4.     Abiding – We must live out the truths of John 15 in our calling to intimate relationship with our heavenly Abba.  We affirm the fundamental necessity of spiritual intimacy with God before we can have fruitful ministry impact with others. A core expression of this intimate relationship with Abba God is a lifestyle of healthy dependency on our Sovereign Lord.

5.     Praying – We must live out another core expression or ancillary of this abiding relationship, the continual conversation with God which we call prayer.

6.     Expecting – We must maintain an ongoing posture of faith, expecting that our Almighty God, because of who He is, will do the extraordinary, the miraculous, both in and through us and our ministries.

7.     Anointing – We must regularly seek and ask for the supernatural empowerment of the indwelling Holy Spirit in our lives and ministry which the New Testament calls anointing. This empowerment may express itself through a wide range of occurrences, gifts, manifestations or events produced by the Holy Spirit and which are determined only by Him.

The dangers of arrogance in leadership

Arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions (Webster). 

Arrogance is one of the potential pitfalls of leadership, especially for highly gifted leaders whose drive and ambition combined with a high degree of self importance and a lack of accountability fuel an ever heightened sense of imperious assurance. 

What are the signs of leadership arrogance? 

Self importance. Arrogance is, after all, all about self. These are leaders who truly believe that they are somehow different from normal human beings. They often speak about what they are doing in extravagant ways and rarely ask about what others are doing. Their focus in on themselves, their ministry and their contribution to the kingdom. The common theme is that it is about them.

Imperious assurance. This is a grossly over confident attitude that what they are doing is right, that it will always work and is often combined with extravagant claims. Any time you hear someone say that what they are doing is going to change the world or the church or something forever, beware. It is often simply the extravagant assurance of an imperious and arrogant mind.

Superiority. This is the natural outcome of arrogance. The belief that one is superior to others and that the decisions they make are better decisions than what others could make. This often plays out in marginalizing other good people because they are by nature not as good or bright or strategic as themselves. The way to elevate oneself is almost always to de-elevate others in some way.

Unaccountability. Arrogant leaders will never admit that they are unaccountable but what they often do is to simply ignore those who  disagree with them (even if it is their board or close colleagues) and do what they are intent on doing. Because the rules do not apply to them and because they are so confident that they are right they simply forge ahead with their agenda regardless of the voices that try to speak into their lives or plans. 

If someone becomes an obstacle to them or strongly disagrees with them they are often marginalized and shunted aside. Arrogant leaders listen to those who fuel their self importance and discount those who don't. Often, those who were once close are discarded once they take the risk of disagreeing with them.

A force of nature. A force of nature is an apt description for highly arrogant leaders. They simply go where they want to go and do what they want to do regardless of who or what is in their path. In many cases, people intentionally get out of the way because being in their way is dangerous. Often boards or colleagues are unwilling to go up against them because the push back is so severe and the ability of arrogant leaders to sell their case and negotiate their way to what they want is exhausting. 

This is nothing other than raw intimidation to get their way. They know it but they also know that they can do it and that others will often scatter. Arrogant leaders are often highly skilled in manipulating those around them to get their way. That manipulation may be flattery, intimidation, anger, marginalization, negotiation, or just stubborn wills that refuse to be bent. What it amounts to is that they intend to get their way no matter what.

Risk and adrenalin. Massive arrogance causes unhealthy leaders to take risks that healthy leaders would never take. They posture the risk as game changing moves that will yield some amazing result. Often, it is risk and the adrenalin of running at warp speed, fueled by situations that must be solved (by them of course) that feeds their ego and need for stimulation. 

This is particularly dangerous in a ministry setting because it puts the entire ministry at risk if decisions are made that compromise it, and arrogant leaders are prone to take risks that others would not. Those risks are usually more for the fulfillment of their own ambitions than for the sake of the ministry they lead. They feed on crisis and complex situations that only they can solve.

It is not unusual for other leaders to not even know of some of the risks that the ministry has been subject to because in their unaccountably many arrogant leaders don't feel a need to disclose everything. They tend to disclose what they want people to know and keep close to their vest what they don't want to be known.

It should be obvious that these characteristics of arrogance are not only signs of dysfunctionality (think narcissistic personality disorder) but dangerous to the ministry they lead. In many cases, these leaders eventually crash themselves and the ministry they are leading. Often they move on and never acknowledge the damage they have done. In fact, their take is that whatever happened is someone else's fault. It is how they are wired because life is about them.

Whatever you do, if you see these characteristics, don't ignore them.

An audience of One

Have you ever thought about how much time and energy we expend in trying to live up to the expectations of others? Authenticity means that we no longer need to work to prove something but that we can simply be who God made us to be and our highest goal is not to please people but to please an audience of One – our Father. Again, that is freedom!

With humility comes a nothing to prove, nothing to lose view of life which leads to authentic living. Authentic living is about being who God created us to be and not a pretend us or someone else’s version for us whether they be our parents, our in laws, or others. The question is no longer what I have to do to please other people but what I need to do to please God.

I remember the pressure I felt as a young pastor to be whatever a pastor is supposed to be. I put expectations on myself and others put expectations on me and pretty soon it was hard to be me. I worried too much about what people would or did think. I took certain peoples criticisms too deeply. I felt like a failure too often. I had something to prove and a lot to lose which is not a fun way to live life.

My main question today is what do I need to do to please the Father. Not only will I not please everyone else but that is not the call on my life – or yours. Pleasing the Father is. His priorities for my life, time, energies and heart are what count. He is the One we will give account to one day. No one else’s opinions will matter on that day.

Two deadly distractions

There are two distractions that each of us face in our lives - and which all church leaders fight against with those they lead. They are the distractions of the numerous options that we have for our time and attention which often keep us from intentional and Christ centered living and the distraction of selfishness which keeps our focus on me instead of Him.

I love the options that our world affords us. Options that just a few years ago were not readily available. Those options, however, are both a blessing and a curse. They are a blessing if carefully chosen but a curse if carelessly lived.

I am often reminded of Ephesians 2:10, that "We were created in Christ Jesus for good works which he prepared in advance for us to do." Each of us has a mission in life designed by God. That mission is connected with the gifting and wiring He gave to us and He wants us to use them on His behalf. This is our highest priority.

The options for how we spend out time often crowd out the very ministry that Christ created us for. Accidental living and busyness are the killers of intentionality and focus. Options are great - as long as I keep my focus first on what it is that Jesus has for me to do on His behalf. I love the options I have in this life but if our love for Jesus is primary we keep Him central, His work central and are not distracted from our central focus by all the ways we can spend out time and energy.

The second distraction is even more difficult than the first. Is life about me or about Him? The selfish natures of our hearts keep pulling us back to thinking that life is about me. It impacts my interests, my energy, my activities, my money and my priorities. Going back to Ephesians 2:10, we are reminded that life is not about us but about God.

Getting this right is a game changer in our lives. It changes everything and impacts our philosophy of life, the way we structure our lives, the world view we embrace and the daily activities we pursue.

In fact, conversion is all about recognizing that life is not about me but about God. It is not simply a ticket to eternal life but a revolution in our perspective on everything.

Each of us fights these two diversions. Our personal challenge is to get these right. Our ministry leadership challenge is to help others get it right as well.

The value of having the right people on your team

I am constantly reminded in my own organization, or those that I interact with how important it is to get the right people in the right seat in order for the organization to flourish. When we get the wrong people in place we pay a heavy price for as long as they are there and it becomes a drag on the ministry momentum.

When you have the right people:

• The job is not viewed as a job but a mission to be accomplished


• Very little supervision is needed because they take the initiative


• Bureaucracies are minimized because there is a high degree of empowerment and responsibility


• Trust is high because you have healthy people who put the mission above all else


• Cooperation is high and silos are minimized because the mission is the key glue that holds the team together


• Excellence is the norm


• New ways of doing things are regularly explored


• Turf wars are virtually non-existent

Take a moment and think about the key players you have. Do they meet the characteristics of the "right people?" With the wrong people, the opposite characteristics will often show up. There is no substitute in a healthy organization for getting the right (and healthy) people on your team. Don't neglect leadership principle 101.

Should a church be run like a business?

Often when I work with church boards to clean up crazy making governance systems someone will be concerned that we are moving to run the church like a business. How does one answer that question when we know that a church is not a business?

The first part of the answer goes to the job description of elders (or the senior leadership board of a church). Unlike a business, their job is laid out in Scripture: Ensuring that the congregation is taught well, cared for, released into ministry, protected, and led in healthy directions. And, they have a ministry of prayer for the church (often not practiced much as they are so busy doing management stuff). So, the focus of their work is very different than is the bottom line of a business - adequate profits.

The second part of the answer is that the reason business organizes itself in efficient ways is to maximize their effectiveness and minimize the waste of time and energy. This ought to be true of church boards as well. Any governance system that helps us do what we do better for the sake of the mission of the church makes sense. The simple principle is that how we do what we do matters and our way of doing board work should serve what we are trying to get done.

Think of the issues faced by many church boards:

• Inability to make decisions in a timely manner.
• Long board meetings
• Revisiting decisions multiple times
• Lack of clarity on what is staff responsibility and board responsibility
• Not enough time to prayer and thinking as time is eaten up by administrative issues
• Preponderance of day to day management issues robbing the board of time to think about the future
• Lack of clarity as to where the church should be going
• Board members who hold up the process or violate board practices
• Lack of clarity on what the board is supposed to be doing
• Inability to move through agendas in a timely manner

All of these kinds of things are time and energy wasters which ultimately hurt the ability of the leadership to lead well and which ultimately hurts the ministry of the church. So, how well a board manages itself, creates systems for its work has a direct impact on the ministry effectiveness or lack of it for the entire congregation.

Thus my answer to the question to should we run a church like a business is no and yes. The no is that the job of elders is different than business leaders. The yes is that the governance systems may well look like those in a business because they are simply good practices that help you achieve what you want to achieve. Those good practices actually help you do what God has called you to do as leaders well. 

When business is not led well they go out of business. When churches are not led well they plateau and go into decline. How we lead matters in both business and ministry settings. We change our leadership practices in churches in order to maximize our ministry effectiveness. What we do in ministry is very different than in business. How we do it may look very much like how we do it in business.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Partnerships in missions: Five key principles

I am a huge proponent of partnerships in mission efforts. One of the guiding principles of ReachGlobal is that "We are partnership driven." Those partnerships can be with local churches in the United States, churches internationally, other ministries and missions and church planting movements. 

Partnerships, however, are delicate things and hard work. Here are five guidelines to consider for healthy partnerships. 

One: Partnerships are worth pursuing when we can accomplish more together than we can alone. The silos that exist in local church, denominations and mission agencies simply because we are focused on our particular brand are not healthy. If we are going to reach cities and regions for the gospel it will be with a coalition of the willing, not by ourselves. 

Often we don't pursue partners in ministry because our own vision is so small we think we can do it alone. That is unfortunate. We ought to have a God sized vision that only He can make possible and which often requires the efforts of several rather than just one party. 

Two: Healthy partnerships are not based on well written MOU's but on deep relationships of trust. When groups move toward common efforts before there is a high level of trust and relationship those efforts are in jeopardy.  In ReachGlobal we are far more interested in relationships with our partners than with MOU's which in the end are only as good as the relationship anyway. While a memorandum of understanding may be helpful for clarity, it is a secondary issue to trusting relationships.

Too often in ministry partnerships there is management of the strategy without adequate management of relationships. When there are tension points in the partnership it is the trusting relationships which help the parties move forward and solve the issues. Thus relationships must be nurtured in any good partnership.

Three: Partnerships only work when there is both theological and missional compatibility. We don't have to agree on all fine points of doctrine but we do have to have evangelical orthodoxy along with a missional mindset to see the Gospel expand in a significant way. We will not move forward with any partner unless there is compatibility in both areas.

Four: Healthy partnerships respect the autonomy of each party. Here is how we define our "Partnership Driven" guiding principle: "We are committed to carrying out the Great Commission in partnership with local churches, national partners and like minded evangelical organizations. Healthy partnerships include mutual cooperation without either party losing its identity or ability to work toward its intended objectives." When either party seeks to control the other the partnership becomes unhealthy. 

This requires a level of humility on the part of both (or all) parties because in healthy partnerships there is mutual collaboration on how we will together reach our intended objectives. Whenever one party tries to impose its agenda on another it is no longer a true partnership. Organizational and personal humility is a prerequisite for healthy partnerships. It is not about us but about the vision that we are pursuing together.

Five, partnerships are based on clear, common objectives that all parties are committed to pursuing. Where there is ambiguity on objectives, partnerships will inevitably become murky and ultimately fail. The glue that unites like minded partners is both trust and a common vision. It may well be that different parties play different roles in achieving that vision but common vision cemented with trust and relationship is a strong combination. In addition, when that common vision is the result of ongoing concerted prayer together it moves from our vision to His vision and captures the hearts and imaginations of all concerned.

We need to think partnerships far more than we do. But, we need to  build those partnerships for health and strength based on these five criteria.

The humility to be just us

The real, unadorned, us! Are you comfortable with you? Do you try to hide the real you out of fear for what people will think or see? Or are you OK with how God made you and not trying to be something you are not?

Good questions. Paul wrote "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly then you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

Paul writes this in the context of a discussion of spiritual gifts in Romans 12 where he makes the point that humility is needed because each of us has a unique set of gifts and by definition whatever gifts we don't have are weaknesses. I have three strong strengths: everything else is a weakness. Thus by definition I need others because my gift set is a narrow one - as is yours.

Pride places undue emphasis on me. Humility places proper emphasis on the gifting we have been given and the necessity of having others around us to be all we can be - together. It is not about me! It is about us - together.

This means I don't have to pretend to be something I am not. I know God has gifted me in certain areas and others in other areas and it is the combined gifting that makes for the healthy whole. It means that we can be comfortable in our own skin, knowing that God made us the way he did for a reason.

Walking in humility also means that I will not seek to be something God did not make me to be - in other words I will understand my gifting and wiring and stay in the zone of strength that God gave me. When we move out of our zone of strength we often have to pretend - because we are not walking in the gifting that God actually gave us. Wise men and women use the "sober judgement" Paul speaks of to understand where they can and will be successful given the gifts God granted them and then seek to stay in that zone - in humility and self confidence, knowing they are in the right spot.

Humility and self knowledge lead wise men and women to build ministry teams of gifted individuals so that the deficits of one can be made up by the gifts of others. And, they are not afraid to admit areas of weakness and the need for the help of others. Pride does not ask for help in an area of weakness. Humility does. Pride does not bring other gifted people around us, humility does. Pride turns the spotlight on us, Humility turns it on the group. Pride says, I am good at all things, Humility says I am good at some things.

How are you walking today? In humility - being the real you - or pride - trying to be the you God did not make you to be?

When a great idea didn't work: dealing with failure

There is a saying, If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. Leaders and teams know that innovation is key to staying sharp and working toward greater effectiveness.


Of course it is not blind innovation for innovation sake. We take calculated risks in ministry after thinking through the unintended consequences and trying to minimize our "dumb tax" by talking to others who may have tried what we are thinking of doing. But sometimes our best intentions fail - sometimes miserably.

How can we best handle great intentions that went very wrong? Dealing with the aftermath is important because it will either promote or prevent future innovation or risk taking.

Consider these suggestions:

1. Pull the plug if your gut says it is not going to work
A great "new idea" will probably be taking resources, either people or financial. Once you come to the conclusion that it is not going to work, don't continue to throw good money after bad. Minimize your losses and shut it down. Sometimes that takes a bit of courage, especially for those who sold the idea and desperately want it to work. Leaders may need to step in and make the call. 

2. Conduct an autopsy without blame
When something goes south, it is important to conduct an autopsy to see what lessons can be learned. How one does it is critical. If you kill the innovator you will also kill future innovation. If you conduct an autopsy without blame everyone learns but you don't create an ethos of fear. As you evaluate what went wrong, do not minimize the lessons that need to be learned. Failure is great soil for growth.

3. Be transparent
Our tendency is to "protect ourselves" when something we have tried fails. But there are stakeholders whether they be donors, participants, congregations or whoever. Minimizing or spinning the situation will come back and bite you. Be transparent with those you need to be transparent with, even if you take a few "licks" for it. Honesty is the best policy and good people will generally give other good people the leeway they need.

4. Ask whether the idea was a bad idea or whether the failure was in the execution.
Often the idea was a good idea but the process, execution, roll out or staffing were the key factors in the failure. If the problem was in the execution, consider how you can solve that issue before you try again.

5. Create a culture where failure is OK
Too many ministries are so failure adverse, or fearful (because failure is seen as a negative) that they don't try new ideas. If you are going to be most effective you will need to take measured risks. You will fail from time to time. That means you are willing to take a risk for the sake of ministry effectiveness. 

Failure is not a bad thing - it can actually point you in the right direction as you learn from the experience. The key is learning from it, and handling the aftermath with wisdom and transparency. After all, sometimes you have to throw some stuff at the wall and see "what sticks."

Can the great cities of Europe be re-evangelized?

I believe that the answer is yes - with certain qualifications. There is no question that God desires this and there is no question of the needs among these post modern and post Christian cities. Nor can we every abandon the effort on the missions front until Christ returns. 

My answer is a qualified yes, if.....

If God's people will pray for His Spirit to move in the cities of Europe. All movements of God start with movements of prayer. 

If local ministries, denominations and mission agencies will work together to reach specific cities in Europe. No one can do this alone and there is unlikely to be a significant movement of God in any city until God's people genuinely come together with a common vision, common dependence on Him and declare that they will set aside their differences for the sake of the Gospel. 

If the ethnic groups who know Jesus can be partnered with. There is a great deal of spiritual energy among ethnic populations in Europe. They may well be a key to the re-evangelization of Europe but this means that we need to engage them, work with them, envision them and bring them to the table of cooperation.

If there is humility among all concerned that we need one another and we need the Spirit of God. Pride and self sufficiency will kill our efforts while humility will fuel them. A Christian leader in London, for instance, told members of our staff planning to come to  London that we had no right to be there and they didn't need us. Really? With the spiritual statistics of England? All of us need a great dose of humility if we are going to make a dent in the secularism of Europe. It is not about us. It is about Jesus. God does not honor pride. He does honor humility.

If we can be bold with the simple Gospel message. The Gospel has power because God's Spirit empowers it. We are called to proclaim it without apology and without needing to defend it. Simple Gospel proclamation has power in and of itself.

If we are willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus by helping to meet the massive social needs of Europe's cities. People are far more likely to hear the Gospel when they have seen the Gospel in action. If all men and women are made in God's image, however marred, we ought to care about them and their needs. Simple acts of kindness and help go a long way in authenticating the words of the Gospel.

Many people are pessimistic about God's ability to penetrate Europe once again. I am not.... with these qualifiers.

Rekindling passion for the next run

I spoke recently to a long time friend in ministry who is tired. I could hear it in his voice. With the tiredness has come questions about whether he is in the right place and what his next run looks like. As the pastor of a church that has experienced significant growth over the past three years he realizes that if he is to ramp up for a new phase of ministry that he is going to need to rekindle his passion and make some strategic changes.

In conversations with colleagues in their fifties, I find this to be a very common struggle.

Many reading this blog have been in a similar position. Certainly I have, at a number of junctures of my career. While it is a frustrating place to be, these junctures represent a significant opportunity because they force us to look at ourselves, our gifting, our wiring, God's call on our lives and rethink our assignment for even greater ministry impact.

Obviously I do not know what is right for my friend. However, I do believe that there are some guiding principles that can help us evaluate how we respond to our lack of passion and the rekindling of that passion.

First, recognize that long ministry runs at high energy levels inevitably deplete us and we are naturally left tired, empty and wishing there was a different way of doing life. In many respects that personal depletion is a result of good things that God has done but our bodies and spirits cannot sustain that kind of pace for ever.

Second, there are natural junctures over our career where unless we refocus our energies so our time is more directly spent in our areas of greatest strength and get out of areas of weakness, we will increasingly become bored and unfulfilled in our work. It is natural for this to happen in our fifties because by then we are pretty aware of who God made us to be, what fills our tanks and what depletes us.

We look at the years before us and think to ourselves, I have a limited number of years left, I know how God has made me and what I am really good at, and I don't want to squander my time doing things that I am not made to do. How we respond to this inner prompting - indicated by our lack of passion may well determine whether we coast to a finish, keep on our current trajectory or figure out how to ramp up for an even more effective next run. We also know that our pace is not sustainable and ultimately not fulfilling.

Usually, significant tiredness indicates that we are moving too fast, probably doing things that are not in our sweet spot and need to refocus what we do if we are going to re-engage for the next run.

The last time I faced such a juncture, I went to those who knew me best, inside and outside of my organization and asked the question, "Knowing what you know about me and how God made me and where I am most effective, and my organization, what are the things you think I must do and what are the things you believe I ought to give up?" It was fascinating to me that the response I received was pretty uniform and I was able to refocus my personal role around four areas where I uniquely gifted - and give up some things where I am not.

Rekindling passion almost always involves letting some things go that others can and should be doing and refocusing our energies around our greatest strengths. It is doing less in order to do more and it is slowing down to do "more" better.

Third, recognize that refocusing your role may create a crisis of sorts in your organization because it often means reorganizing your leadership structure which brings advantage to you (you are better positioned in your sweet spot) and brings perceived loss to others.

The loss may be to congregations who expect their senior pastor to take care of all of the pastoral care and no longer does, to other leaders who are used to more access to you who no longer do or other scenarios depending on your situation. There is no refocusing that does not bring some loss for you as you give something up or to others who are affected by your revised focus.

One of the reasons that pastors often leave a successful ministry at this juncture is that their leaders who love them do not understand the need to refocus and rather than fight that battle a senior member of the staff may choose to move on. It is often an unnecessary loss for both the pastor and the church had they understood the dynamics involved.

This leads me to a fourth principle. You may need to bring in an outside adviser or consultant to help you refocus and to help a board or staff understand the value and importance of that refocus. You are not then left as the one trying to convince others that this is a good thing or be seen as looking out for yourself when in fact it is a matter of what will best serve the organization.

My final observation is that what is best for you in refocusing your role in order to rekindle passion for the next run is usually what is best for the ministry as well. Your ability to live in your area of greatest strength is a huge plus for the ministry. Their flexibility in allowing that repositioning is to their advantage because your renewed energy, engagement and effectiveness is the result.

The redeemer and maximizer of our biographies

Our biographies are a muddle of complicated issues: Family memories; success and failure; joy and sorrow; regrets and wishes for what could have been; illness that changed us; economies that bit us; relationships good and bad; choices we cannot retract and others that we are thankful for and the list could go on. Each of us has those parts of our biography that we are deeply thankful for and each that we wish were different. We, however, cannot change what has been!

Enter God! He does not change what has been but He is the only One who can and does use every aspect of our biography for His purposes. He redeems not only our heart but He can redeem our past and actually use for His purposes what we wish had never happened - or had been different.

I think of Chuck Colson, for instance, who I am sure wished that his biography had read differently prior to encountering Jesus in a life changing way. God not only took what had been bad and redeemed it but he maximized that biography through Prison Fellowship - doing through Colson what never would have been possible without his past. How many lives were touched because Jesus redeemed Colson's biography?

When I suffered deep depression after a particularly hard season in my early life, I could never have imagined that God would not only redeem the depression - as I was able to minister to others in a similar situation - but would use the circumstances of my pain to influence my ministry from that time forward and open doors I never thought imaginable. He graciously redeemed my pain and used all of my biography for His purposes. 

This is the amazing thing about God! He can take what was bad and use it for what is good. He can take years that we thought were lost and redeem them for good. He can take a sinful past and use it in a redeemed future. There is nothing in our biographies that He cannot redeem and use in some way for His purposes even if it is simply to demonstrate the power of God to utterly and completely change lives. He is the only one who will not waste any of our biographies and use them for His divine purposes. That ought to make us deeply grateful people.

Five signs you may be in the wrong job

Job satisfaction, or the lack of it says a lot about whether or not we are in the right spot - or whether it is time for a change or modification. Certainly there will be periods when we go through tough times - I am not speaking to those periods - but to a more general dissatisfaction that may tell us we need a change.

Boredom
Many of us love to build something but not maintain it over the long term. If you are wired like that, you need a fresh challenge every so many years. This is OK. It is how you are wired. The challenge is to recognize that you are bored because you need a greater or a new challenge and to either figure out how to do that by refashioning your present job or looking for a new ministry opportunity. Unaddressed, boredom impacts both you and those who work for you or with you because it brings with it an emotional detachment and a lack of happiness.

Control
This may have a different genesis than boredom. Being controlled by a manager is often a sign of an unempowering leader who cannot release people to figure things out in accordance to their wiring. The higher the control factor of a leader the higher the chances that good people will look for a new leader to work for. Empowering leaders are a whole lot more fulfilling to work for because one can use their creativity, skills and wiring to the greatest advantage. If a high control leader is keeping you from flourishing it is time to negotiate a new management style or look for a new position.

Ambiguity
This is a situation where we are never sure of the direction of the organization or the expectations of our leader. Where there is ambiguity there is a high level of frustration for good people who want to understand direction, boundaries and expectations. If we know those things we have the ability to work accordingly. If we don't know those things, if there is not clarity on the essentials we work in the dark, never sure if we are doing the right thing or not.  Lack of clarity creates craziness because one does not know what actions will pass muster or please the team or organizational leader.

Dysfunction
I spoke recently with a church COO who works for a senior leader who is deeply dysfunctional. The end result is a workplace where there is lack of trust, directional swings, lack of support and where he never knows where he stands with his leader who is easily threatened. This dysfunction has so demoralized, discouraged and disempowered him that after nearly two decades he is moving to a new ministry. Deeply dysfunctional leaders or organizations are almost impossible to work with and maintain any level of joy. They disempower rather than empower.

Sweet Spot
If one is in a job where one cannot spend a minimum of 60% of their time in areas of strength (optimal is 80%) there will be considerable dissatisfaction over the long run. This is especially true as we approach middle age (and after) because we have a pretty good idea of what we are good at and what we are poor  at. Playing to our strengths energizes and engages while playing to weaknesses saps our energy and demotivates us. If one is suffering from a lack of energy or engagement, this is an important issue to examine.

If any of these five signs apply to you, you may want to examine whether you are in the right spot, in the right organization, working for the right leader or how you can modify your role so that the energy, enthusiasm and satisfaction quotients go up again. Where you can, be proactive to get into a place where your work is a joy and not a burden.

If you are a team or organizational leader, watch for signs of restlessness on the part of your staff which may well be indicators of a need for a change. Explore the reasons for their restlessness and work to position them in a place where they will have the greatest job satisfaction and ministry impact. It is a matter of stewardship for them and for the organization.

Does your church have a vision that extends beyond yourself?

Churches, like individuals, can be either selfish or generous. Selfish congregations have a vision for themselves while generous congregations have a vision that extends beyond themselves and is Kingdom focused. 

What is a vision that extends beyond you? Here are some indicators to consider:

When we are willing to actively cooperate with other like minded evangelical congregations regardless of their brand to bring the Gospel to our community we are thinking beyond ourselves. 

When we have a vision to multiply ourselves through church planting we have a vision that is larger than our own congregation.

When we actively bless other ministries in the community we have a vision beyond ourselves.

When we minister to the marginalized, forgotten, people with disabilities or the poor we have a vision beyond ourselves. Any time we minister to those who are not like us we have a vision beyond ourselves.

When we are intentionally generous with our finances and energies for local, regional and global ministries, our vision extends beyond ourselves.

Generous congregations are Kingdom focused. They love to bless others for the sake of Jesus. They love to bless those who cannot bless them back. They are not brand centric but Kingdom minded and their efforts are therefore not simply focused on what will help them grow numerically or financially but what will contribute to the spread of the Gospel and lift up the name and reputation of Jesus.

I work with many generous congregations. They possess vision, faith and a spiritual vibrancy that selfish congregations don't. For them, ministry is about Jesus rather than themselves. How would you rate your congregation?

Legacy: thoughts on my dad

This photo of my parents captures the autumn season of their lives. Especially my father who suffers from dementia and no longer knows who I am - or his other ten children, spouses, 46 grand-kids and 16 great grand kids. His mind is dim but his spirit is kind.

It is hard to watch brilliant minds fade. A civil engineer, Divinity school graduate, Medical Doctor, surgeon, Doctor of Ministry degree, author, father, missionary, hospital founder (Hong Kong), great grandfather and mentor to many who found Jesus through home Bible studies, Sunday School teacher, church planter, Chief of Staff at United Hospital, theologian and the list could go on. All of that is today forgotten by him but not by the many people he touched over the years. Many will be in heaven because of my parents ministry.

It is a reminder that legacy is not about money, name or fame. It is about lives touched. I was once going through the security line at the Minneapolis airport and the TSA agent looked at my licence and name and asked if I was related to Gordon Addington, the surgeon. I said yes. He told me that my dad had invited him over for Christmas one year when he was a janitor at United Hospital. He never forgot that act of kindness for one in the hospital hierarchy who was very low on the scale. But not to dad.

As a youngster I helped him do surgery when trained assistants were hard to find in Hong Kong. We camped and took trips to Macau and explored the hills of Hong Kong. Above all he was consumed by knowing and serving Jesus.

The grandchildren had a wonderful relationship with Dad. He loved them and they loved him.

I look at this photo taken by one of the grand kids and I see a frail, tired, unsteady man. Not long, perhaps for this world. But most of all I see a picture of legacy. A legacy that will last through family and through those he ministered to. I hope that when my feet are unsteady and my mind fading that I too leave behind a lasting legacy.

Less is often more

Perhaps the greatest challenge leaders and teams face is coping with the multiple demands for our time, attention and energy. We have expectations for ourselves that are high. But there are many others who also have expectations for us that leave us with little margin.

There are several principles that if lived out can help us to be highly effective without being overly busy.

First, be clear about what God has called you to do! God did not design us too live with out of control schedules that leave little margin. The truth is that God has called us to do certain things, not a lot of things. In my current role as the leader of ReachGlobal I know that God has called me to four key things: develop strategy and vision; mentor ReachGlobal and national leaders; write for the worldwide church and raise the necessary resources to get done what we need done. Knowing that these are my true priorities allows me to know that most everything else is not a priority for me.

Second, we need to understand that doing less actually allows us to do more. In our busyness we miss out on the most important practice that would allow us to both be less busy and more effective. That is time to think, reflect, and pray. The more time we take to think deeply, pray and reflect, the better handle we develop on our priorities, schedules and strategy. In fact, the higher the level of leadership, the more critical this discipline is. How much time do you have in your weekly and monthly schedule to think, reflect and pray.

Third, whenever we take something new on it is critical that we leave something behind. We cannot continue to accumulate activity and responsibilities without ending up with an out of control life, fatigue and the leakage of necessary energy. Every year I ask myself the question, what are the things I am doing that I can give up - that someone else can do 70% as well as me.

Finally, we need to realize that the success of our work does not simply depend on us but on the team that we put together. The better the team you develop, the more possibility there is that there are others on the team who are gifted to do what you are not gifted to do - and probably better.

The best leaders I know are not living on fumes because they are running too fast. Rather they look relaxed rather than harried, schedule into their weeks think time as a priority, say no to opportunities more than yes so they can say yes to the key areas that they are called to.

Remember, less is almost always more.