Suffering, pain and God's sovereignty

I am convinced that nothing tests our theology of God's sovereignty than when life blows up in our faces and we are left with the pain of the results. I have had my share so can speak from some experience:  dreams shattered in I my pastoral experience; being turned down for the job I presently hold, two life threatening illnesses and more. Each time I had to grapple with the questions: Is God good, is He truly sovereign? Can I trust Him with my future? and can He redeem the pain, suffering and situation that is beyond my control and use them for His purposes.

Let's face it. It is easy to talk about His sovereignty and goodness in the good times. It is far more difficult to do it in the hard times! Those of us who preach and lead and teach often have fine tuned theology for others but it is when life comes undone that we grapple with it ourselves.

Etched in my memory is January 4, 2009 when I was pulled off an aircraft in Thailand, sent to the hospital and found myself on a ventilator that evening with massive pneumonia, Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, and septic shock - for the second time in two years. Awake that night on a ventilator with all the pain it engendered, a bad prognosis, my wife on the other side of the planet and my 21 year old son signing medical consents and knowing the odds I had to grapple with the questions above. 

It called the question: What did I really believe about God's sovereignty and Romans 8? Was God good even if I had not survived? Could I truly trust God's purposes for my life? The truth is I felt not a whit like Isaiah 40:28-31:

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

I felt a lot more like David in the Psalms where he despairs of his life and his soul is utterly cast down. And I knew that I had to choose like David did in Psalm 62 to trust God in spite of everything because He is sovereign and good and present and my salvation no matter what my situation. It was a choice I made late in the night as I wrestled with God and chose a path of faith. It was not easy and I had no idea of the outcome - even whether I would survive long enough to see Mary Ann when she arrived.

There are times when life surprises us, disappoints us and frankly betrays us. It is in those times that we make a choice to either believe what we have known to be true or not. Frankly, in retrospect, I am deeply thankful that I was faced with the choice on a number of occasions because it was in the crucible that faith and truth became truly real in my life and heart. It is the testing of our faith that makes it real. Every step of faith is a step toward God and toward His truth, promises, love and faithfulness. There is no other way to truly make it real!

Clarity and why it matters

Clarity is a common topic of this blog because its presence or absence has a major impact on the satisfaction level of staff. I spoke recently with a newer staff member of a ministry organization and I asked him what had surprised him. His answer was the lack of clarity within the organization which has caused him a great deal of frustration in his role. Since there is not adequate clarity and he cannot read the mind of the senior leader he lives in a fairly unempowered culture. He is not alone. 

New staff are often the best barometers of how much clarity an organization has since those of us who have been around awhile know the unwritten and unspoken rules and think there is pretty good clarity. Those coming into the organization, however don't know the unwritten or unspoken paradigms by which the organization operates and it often bites them when they cross an invisible line.

In my book, Leading from the Sandbox I talk about the major pieces of organizational clarity: mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and culture. However there are other areas of clarity that impact staff in a direct way as well such as the following.

What decisions am I allowed to make without getting permission first? Clarity on this issue is a big deal. Most ministries are permission withholding rather than permission granting within boundaries. If I think I have authority in an area and find out otherwise, it is highly disempowering. This assumes that there is clarity in the large areas (above) and that there is a clear annual plan with objectives that can guide the decision making process. In the absence of this you cannot empower staff.

If I don't have permission to make decisions, what is the process I need to go through? Interestingly, even in many large ministry organizations the answer is that one needs the sign off of the senior leader because they are the arbiter of what can or cannot be done. It is really about their preference rather than about organizational clarity. Or, one must get permission from the Executive Pastor who is the only one who knows what is in the mind of the senior leader. Again, not an empowering ethos.

On what basis do I make decisions in my area of responsibility? If this is not clear there is a serious lack of organizational clarity. The reason that many even qualified leaders in ministry must get permission is that there are no clearly stated guidelines as to how they are to make decisions. Again, it often comes down to the 
preference of the leader which means that one either has to read their mind or ask their permission.

When there is not clarity on these kinds of issues or when the clarity is "ask the senior leader," good staff often choose to leave as they are living in an unempowered work culture. In fact, as I listened to one staff member recently  who described the culture of the organization he worked for I suggested that his time there might be shorter than he planned on because of the gap between his leadership gifts and the relatively unempowered culture he was in. If so it is a loss for the organization he is working for.

Providing maximum clarity is job one for a leaders. When it does not happen they have disempowered their whole staff.

Organizational cultures that support the mission

We often just don't think about it. Every organization has a stated mission or purpose but many do not have an internal organizational culture that is designed to support that mission. It is, perhaps, why we don't deliver on our purpose as well as we could be.

For instance, the mission statement of ReachGlobal - the mission I give leadership to - is to glorify God by multiplying healthy churches among all people. The key words there are multiplication and health. Both of those commitments require an internal culture of multiplication as well as a culture of health. It is not possible to see healthy churches multiplied without healthy personnel and it is not possible to actually multiply unless it is an intentional part of the culture since addition rather than multiplication is the default setting of most people.

Church leaders talk a lot about unity and love but if those kinds of values are not lived out by boards and staff it will likely not be lived out in the congregation either. Not only that but when the internal culture of an organization does not match its stated purposes it creates legitimate questions in the minds of many as to whether its leadership is truly serious about their stated purposes. 

I often speak with organizational staff about the lack of empowerment in their ministry. The senior leader talks the empowerment talk but the organizational culture does not empower - usually because the senior leader does not. It is an obvious case of cultures that don't match commitments and it is deeply frustrating to those affected.

Organizational culture matters a great deal. Often our cultures are accidental cultures as there has not been intentionality in their creation. The best cultures are clearly articulated, highly intentional and seriously lived out by leadership and staff.

Something to remember is that both  insiders and outsiders can read the culture of your organization. They can tell if it is intentional or accidental. They can also read whether it healthy or unhealthy and finally whether it supports your stated purposes. Often their commitment to the organization is directly influenced by what they  observe.

Honoring those who are full of years and faith

The fingers don't work as they once did and the hands are slower now. The mind does not pull up names as easily and sometimes fails one altogether. The walk is not as sure and simple things not as easy. Eyes that loved to read do so now only sporadically as fatigue sets in faster.

The one thing that does not fail is the lifetime of faith stored in an aging heart. Lessons learned the hard way. Character forged in fire. The gratefulness of mistakes and sin redeemed and used for His purposes. A sureness in a fellowship with Jesus that is deeper than ever.

Soon they will join the fellowship of Hebrews 11, men and women who died in faith and who are our examples to follow. No different than Old Testament heroes as they followed well and finished faithful.

I honor those whom God honors. In many ways their day has passed but in God's eyes they stand tall, like Burr Oaks, full of withered, gnarled, character that has stood the test of time, each bend in the frame a story of endurance and faith in the face of adversity.

They are the seniors in our churches. We have much to learn from their example, their faith, their stories and their wisdom. They paved the way for us and we will soon be them. We owe them our respect, our honor, our time, our love and our appreciation. They are repositories of great faith that if tapped could overflow into the lives of those who come behind. Congregations that make room for them are blessed. Those who don't are less because of it.

Our day celebrates youth and beauty and many younger pastors target young people in their worship style, preaching and ministry priorities. Certainly we need to always be reaching the next generation but we cannot do so at the alienation of the prior generations. In fact, we owe then much and they are often the ones who have served faithfully and given generously. Their faith stories are often remarkable and deep. They have paid the price of a long discipleship in the same direction. God honors that and so should we.

What got you to here won't necessarily get you to there

Think about that phrase: What got you here won't get you there. Those of us who lead organizations, ministries and churches often forget that truth. We assume that if we simply continue to do what we have done in the past we will get to the next level of effectiveness. Here is the truth. What got you to where you are got you to where you are. But without thinking differently, one is not likely to get to the next level.

An example of this is that of boards and what they spend their time on. In the early days of a ministry, boards often get involved in management decisions because there are few staff. As the ministry grows, however, unless they start to focus on governance and the future, they will become barriers to growth. What got them here will not get them there. Transition is needed in order to go to the next level.

Leaders themselves must continually reinvent themselves for the next run. Time priorities, focus on building strong team, constantly evaluating methods and strategies, awareness of the ministry environment in which they work and ensuring that the right people are in the right place in the ministry all become crucial elements. What got them here will not get them there. Figuring out what will get them to the the next place is one of the most important jobs of a leader.

It is the difference between General Motors who thought one could just do what they always did and continue to be successful and Toyota who knew that could not happen. One ended in bankruptcy and the other weathered the economy. Those principles apply to churches and ministries as well.

Understanding what got us to where we are is important. Understanding what will get us to the next level of effectiveness is even more important. Just thinking that it will happen by itself is naive. It is worth taking the time to think, pray and dialogue about your team and what will allow your team to go to the next level. It will require change - it always does. It may require rearrangement on the team - it often does. It will require a new way of thinking in certain areas.

The art of Grey Thinking

Contrarian thinking often simply means that we think grey on issues until we must make a decision. Grey thinking is the practice of soliciting as much input on a situation as possible, allowing those options to marinate in our minds and not making a final decision until it is necessary to do so. In the process, we often realize that there is an out of the box combination solution that is far better than any one of the proposed solutions by themselves.

Some people think it is a skill to make quick decisions and they pride themselves in their ability to do so. The truth is that slow decisions that have had significant input from a variety of sources is usually far better than a rapid one. In fact, wise leaders always bring the best thinking to the table including disparate viewpoints in the process of seeking the very best solution.

Outside my office is another room that used to be occupied by my executive assistant. Today is has a table, four chairs and white boards on two walls. I use that office far more than my actual office with a desk because this is the “think room” where together with colleagues I tackle complex issues in one of our many white board sessions. It is frequent in a conversation with colleagues that someone will say – “We need a white board session on that!”

Out of those sessions have come all kinds of unique ideas and solutions that were far better than any one of us could have crafted. There is no such thing as an all wise “sage” who invariably makes the right move. The sages of our day are those leaders who are secure enough in their own leadership to invite many others to the table in order to find solutions that no one person could have found.

Having sought a variety of wise counsel, wise leaders will than mull on those ideas, always asking the question, “Is there a solution that is different from a conventional solution that would allow us to move forward in a leveraged position.” And, they will often wait until the decision must be made to give themselves as much time as possible to consider alternatives. This is not decision avoidance: Rather, it is getting the right input and giving the right time to come up with a solution that is unconventional and better than what might have been decided earlier.

I will often tell my colleagues that I am thinking grey on an issue. They know that as long as I am thinking grey, they can dialogue with me on it. Of course, I rarely make a decision alone anyway – they are part of the equation. Grey thinking gives all of us the opportunity to continue to look for a unique solution. Remember, conventional wisdom is always conventional but it is rarely wisdom.

Things I wonder about

Why do so many churches that have the name grace in their name have a lot of legalism?

Why are there so many narcissistic Christian leaders when the mark of Jesus was humility?

Why do churches who split off from other churches think they can become the best church the world has seen since the New Testament? Did they read how messy the New Testament church was?

Why do we think we have a corner on truth when every generation that looks back sees what was missing in prior generations?

Why do I have a hard time trusting God for the future when He has been so good in the past?

Why am I so easily satisfied with less than all I have in Jesus?

Why does it take me so long to learn basic lessons of the Christian life?

Why do I get anxious when I know God is sovereign?

Why is money such a big deal when God told us to trust Him for what we need?

Why does God's grace cover all my sin day after day?

Why does God choose to use broken pots like us in His divine work?

Why can I find it so hard to forgive when God has forgiven me of everything?

Why do I try so hard to fix others when the Holy Spirit is the only one who can truly change hearts?

Why don't I care more that my neighbors will be in eternity without God unless they find Jesus?

Why do I have a hard time seeing all people as made in His image no matter how messed up that image is?

Why do I overvalue this life and undervalue eternity?

How come life does not get easier with age?

What do you wonder about?

Social media and ministry staff

Like all technology, social media is a double edged sword. It has its advantages and it can get individuals and ministries in trouble - depending on who uses it and how. In addition, what many ministry staff do not always think about is that what they post reflects in some way on the ministry they represent.

That is why, for instance, I do not take political stands on my blog. Whether I like it or not, as a senior vice president of the EFCA, my words can be seen to represent a denominational view and thus I am careful about the issues that I address on Facebook, Twitter, my blog and other avenues of social media. The same issues exists for ministry staff everywhere - even if they are not aware of it. 

This applies to both our words and our pictures. One ministry started to receive feedback on one of their female staff members who in the name of "fashion" raised eyebrows with her skimpy outfits online. She was a newer believer and had not thought of the implications. Transparency can be good but too much can be problematic.

Ministry staff represent something and as public figures to that extent must take into account who they represent. They are not private citizens in the social media space. The same goes for conversations online which when they cross the line from appropriate to inappropriate reflect poorly on the organization they represent.

Thus my question: Does your organization or ministry have a set of expectations regarding how your key staff engages in social media and have you communicated those expectations? It is far better to have a conversation now rather than face embarrassment later. Some of your staff have most likely not even thought about it. 

Language, culture and discipleship

Language is powerful and reflects societies mores and commitments. You can be a friend on Facebook without really knowing someone. If they have more than five thousand friends you can be a fan on their fan page. And many of us both follow and have followers on Twitter. While there are up sides and down sides to social media (and I participate in them regularly) they are the reality in an extraordinarily connected world.

It is not surprising that some of these same "ways we relate" to one another in the social media can carry over to our relationship with God. There are many who would consider themselves fans of Jesus. He was after all, an impressive guy. Others would consider themselves friends of his and others, in the language of twitter are followers. Of course Twitter followers regularly choose what content they read or don't read. It really denotes a general interest rather than anything else. None of these terms in their popular context denote a disciple of Jesus. 

A central challenge of the church today is to help people understand what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. One who takes up their cross daily to follow Him. One who devours His word as the authoritative word for us and not something we can pick and choose from. One who deserves our full and undivided devotion in all circumstances whether good or bad. These are not fans, followers or friends in the popular sense but fully devoted followers - all in disciples.

The word disciple may seem old fashioned but it may also communicate something that our alternative language does not due to their use in popular culture. At the lease we need to differentiate  between what we mean in the social media and what it truly means to make Jesus King and Lord of our lives.

Dealing with organizational elephants

Elephants are interesting things. They are big! They are obvious! They are loud. Everyone knows when they are around. Which is why "elephants in the room" issues that are big, obvious and loud are so tragically ignored by a staff or a board. Everyone knows they are around but everyone pretends they are not there. And no one is ever fooled!

Here are some real life elephants that I am aware of right now in various places:

A staff member in a church obviously does not fit and is dragging the rest of the staff down but no one talks about it or does anything about it.


• A board member creates regular conflict on the board to the consternation of others but no one is willing to address it.


• A pastor has systematically alienated a long series of individuals but the board will not talk about it.


• A team leader never wants to hear anything critical of his leadership so everyone tip toes around sensitive issues but everyone knows the score.


• A member of a congregation leaves relational havoc in their wake but because of their influence, no one will address the issue.

The thing about elephants in the room is that they are obvious but remain unnamed, unresolved, even unspoken. It is frankly one of the sins of humanity that we allow known problems to exist without seeking to resolve them. And that starts with an acknowledgement that they are there.

OK, there is a reason that elephants remain unnamed. The main reason is that there is not permission in the group to engage in real, honest dialogue. The unspoken rule is, "don't go there" or "if you go there the rest of us will be silent" which leaves any brave soul hanging out in the cold - very alone.
There is one description for such a situation: cowardice! And it happens all the time in many situations. And, it is wrong.

There is a very important descriptor of Jesus given by the Apostle John in John 1:14. It says that Jesus came full of grace and truth.

As one reads the gospels it is evident that Jesus was always willing to put his finger on the truth, but he did it with grace. The woman at the well was an adulterer and Jesus got at that truth but He did it with grace. Jesus did not shirk the truth - indeed He spoke it always - but he treated people with grace.

This is the example that needs to guide us when we name the elephants in the room which good and courageous people do. Once it is named it is no longer an elephant - it is now an issue to be discussed and resolved. Done only with truth it can be harsh. Done only with grace it probably won't happen but done with grace and truth it can be powerful.

I have resolved that I will not live with elephants in the room because life is too short and I am not willing to compromise opportunity and effectiveness for the sake of sweeping issues under the rug. If I cannot name the elephants where they exist or if those on my team cannot do the same, I am in the wrong place or on the wrong board. 

 I have actually left teams and boards where that was not possible. But I have also resolved to deal with them with equal measures of grace and truth. Truth to name the issue and grace to seek to resolve the issue. If I cannot address the issue with both grace and truth I wait until my heart is right so that I can.

I was once in a contentious meeting where individuals said their were many elephants in the room. I asked them to name them, and they did. Here is the interesting thing. Once expressed, they were no longer elephants but issues to be discussed and resolved to the best of our ability.

None of us do this perfectly but I have tried very hard to adopt an attitude of "Nothing to prove, nothing to lose" and in that spirit encourage all of my staff to dialogue openly with any issue that is on their heart - as long as it is done with grace and without a hidden agenda. 

All leaders struggle with the risk of doing that. I do. But it is a great blessing to be free of the need to be right, or perfect, or have all the answers, or to pretend that the elephants are not there. Sometimes they are and I want to be courageous to hear them and when necessary to name them. Do we have that courage?

With grace and with truth.

Six questions ministry leaders ought to ask regularly

Periodically it is helpful to ask the question: What can I do raise the bar in my effectiveness?

It is incremental gains in our effectiveness which make a big difference over time. These do not need to be large changes but all of us ought to be making changes on a regular basis. Consider these questions:

What do I need to focus on more closely to drive our mission forward?

Circumstances, needs and opportunities change over time. It is a mistake to simply think that if I do the same things that I always did that I will be maximizing my impact. In fact, not asking this question is what causes us to "get into a rut" rather than staying fresh.

What am I doing that I should give up?

We ought to be able and willing to give something up to others. You cannot take on new responsibilities or refocus your priorities without making room by giving something else up. Not doing this becomes a trap that leads to burnout and over-commitment  You give up what others can do and what you do not have to do, whether to volunteers or other staff.

How can I organize my time for greater effectiveness?

Time is the most precious commodity we have and is the one thing we can never get back. Almost all of us can make modifications for how we organize our time which would allow us to accomplish more without working more. Consider looking through your schedule and seeing where you are actually spending your time. Does it reflect the priorities you want it to? What changes would help you be more effective?

How can I work smarter, not longer?

Most of us in ministry already work too long. The question is how can we work smarter, accomplish more but not work longer? Often if we would take a few hours to think about what we do and how we do it we would realize that there are alternative ways to get certain things done that would free up time for more important priorities.

What am I going to do to stay sharp?

Intentional growth is a non-negotiable for those who want the get the advantage and stay sharp. Do you know where you need to develop and do you have a plan for that development? None of us are exempt from that need.

Are there specific challenges I believe my ministry is going to face that I need to be aware of?

Every ministry has specific challenges that it is likely to face. Thinking ahead about the challenges you are likely to face allows you to consider how you will potentially respond to those challenges.

Facing down the giants in the church

I often think of the account in the Old Testament where Moses sent twelve spies into the land that would one day become their home. The vast majority of the spies came back and reported to the nation that "there are giants in the land" and that it would be impossible for them to prevail. Only two, Caleb and Joshua called on the nation to move forward, confident that God would help them overcome the giants (Numbers 13).

Church leaders face giants regularly which keep them from leading their congregations into greater health, more meaningful ministry and community impact. As I have consulted with numerous churches and leaders four of those giants stand out.

The giant of fear.

It is the fear of failure: we cannot do that! It is the fear that someone will object: they will! It is the fear that the money won't be there: not everything depends on money and there is more than most people believe! It is the fear of uncharged territory: uncharted territory requires courage!

It is interesting to me that the number one command in Scripture is "fear not." The reason for this is that fear is the killer of faith and faith is the currency of God's kingdom: "Without faith it is impossible to please God." The evil one is a purveyor of fear while God is a purveyor of faith. After all, we don't enter into any ministry endeavor on our strength but on the strength and power of God.

Jesus did not just give us the Great Commission but he reminded us that "He is with us always, even to the end of the age." Fearful leaders are no different from the ten spies who declared that to go in is to embark on a suicide mission. Fear is a giant, but not to God.

The giant of comfort.

Anytime leaders lead courageously they are taking themselves and their people out of their comfort zone. It is human nature to want to stay in ones comfort zone where life is predictable, where we are safe and feel that we can control outcomes and where our status quo is not messed with.

This is precisely why we have the saying, "Don't rock the boat." We like stability and comfort which is precisely why the church makes so little difference to its community or the world. Leaders are not immune to that comfort and followers generally love that comfort.

The job of leaders is not to keep people comfortable but to help them be all that they can be under Christ to fulfill the mission He left the church. Whenever we are comfortable we are in a danger zone and the longer we remain comfortable with what is the harder it will be to move out of that comfort zone into what should and could be.

The giant of change

How often do church leaders hear from someone in the congregation, "we've never done it that way!" How often do church leaders say the same thing when considering ministry initiatives. There is no forward movement in any organization without change but people are naturally change resistant, including many leaders.

We do not look at change for change sake. We look at change so that we can remain effective in a changing culture. The gospel does not change but strategies for reaching people does. This is not about chasing the latest ministry fad. It is about ensuring that our ministries are as effective as they can be so that we can fulfill the mission of the church.

Show me a church that has not changed much in the past decade and I will show you a church whose ministry is on a downward slope, its leaders still clinging to the past and its people comfortable in their familiar but unproductive territory.

The giant of conflict

Conflict is not all bad! In fact, I saw a book recently titled, "Every Congregation needs a little Conflict" and I agree with the title (not having read the book). Conflict makes people think and consider and evaluate.

There is always some kind of conflict when leaders face down the giants of fear, comfort and change because most people find change hard and some find it sinful, unnecessary and wrong. These are the "laggards" on the change scale, they hate change. We call them the "squeaky wheels" in the church who will squeak whenever change is suggested.

Even in the best congregation, conflict of some kind will happen with major ministry initiatives. It is normal, it is expected and it is inevitable. Real leaders listen, process people and lead with sensitivity but they are not cowed by the loud voices who make their opinions known - often in unhealthy ways.

Courageous, wise and missional leaders are hard to find. But that is what is needed in the church. Good leaders know there are giants that they will face as they lead, just as Caleb and Joshua did - they saw the same formidable people that the other ten saw. The difference between Joshua, Caleb and the other ten spies is that they also understood that if they followed God where He was leading them that they would prevail.

In God's strength, what look like giants to us are not to God. How is your leadership board doing in facing down the giants?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Legacy

I love old grave yards. Every headstone has a story and one gets only a glimpse of that story by what is written and the years that were lived. Mostly you are left wondering - and wishing one knew more. You are given a name, two dates and perhaps a small glimpse of their live - especially on older gravestones.

Actually the most important letter on a gravestone is not a letter at all but a dash. The dash between the date of birth and the date of death. That dash represents the time that God gave that individual to make a difference for Him. So, I wonder, what happened during their dash between birth and death - their allotted time?

For those who were people of faith- given the verses or attributes carved in stone I wonder what challenges they faced. But mostly I wonder who they influenced for Christ who may be alive today generations later! Because in the end that is what we leave - others we have influenced for Christ who carry on a Godly presence in our world. All of us are the recipients of a Christian witness that goes back in some way to the time of Christ.

It is interesting that most of us cannot remember the name of our great grand parents (apart from those who study their family genealogy) . That is how fast memory fades as each generation looks to the future not the past. But God always remembers - as He does the contribution we made to His kingdom which continues to ripple generation after generation. That is the true story of the headstones of God's people. That is the story they tell. It is the story I want mine to tell long after my name is forgotten.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Brokenness transformed by grace

Failure has many benefits. Once I have failed I no longer need to worry about failing (been there done that). I no longer need to worry about my pride getting hurt – I've been there. I don’t need to keep up the pretense of success – I blew that record. And, I can identify with 99% of the world who has also experienced failure at one time or another.


Our world celebrates success and denigrates failure (unless you are a Hollywood celebrity and fail spectacularly in which case you are now a smashing success in some twist of logic). But the truth is that the most valuable lessons we learn are through failure, not success and our transparency about our failures and pain is perhaps far more important than people learning of our successes. In failure the best lessons are learned, the best faith is forged and the best transformation takes place. So, why would we hide our failures rather than share what God has done in us through them?

Our willingness to share our whole story where appropriate becomes a powerful encouragement to others who are often struggling with the same issues or believe that because they have “failed” God cannot use them. The fact is that many things we view as failures are not really failures at all but are so only in our own minds. Older leaders would do younger leaders a great favor if they would share their own stories more transparently. Often young leaders view their elders as having sailed through life with a minimum of pain and failure. Usually just the opposite is true.

My perspective on hard times is very different today than it was when I was a young leader. I understand success and failure differently, have the perspective of time to see how God used pain for my benefit, and have seen His faithfulness in what looked like impossible situations. Not only did I not know all of those things as a young leader going through hard times but the advice I received then was not very helpful: God will work it all out! God did, but not in the way well intentioned people meant their advice. One of the realities is that some things don’t get worked out this side of heaven – no matter how hard one prays or how hard one tries.

God does not always fix broken situations. But He is always faithful in the process when we choose to press into Him in those broken situations. Faith is not believing that God intervenes in all situations but that He is faithful to us in the middle of brokenness. I wish I had that understanding as a young leader. I willing share my experiences today to encourage the next generation of leaders who are walking through their own broken places.

Success is not living without pain or tough times. Nor is it necessarily seeing spectacular ministry results – often it will not from our point of view. Success is faithfully living at the intersection of God’s gifting and His calling on our lives wherever that should be. Deep influence is not dependent on achieving success or acclaim by our peer’s standards but by cultivating the hidden practices we have been studying which mold a strong, deep, core of spiritual strength and resolve that influence all that we do and everything that we are.

All of us have paid our share of “dumb tax” – things that we would not do again and lessons learned the hard way. Our willingness to share our dumb tax with others can save them the pain of learning it themselves. I often ask leaders that question for my own benefit and encourage leaders to regularly share dumb tax with one another.

I am always amazed at the response from young and old leaders alike when I speak on pain, suffering and brokenness from a Biblical and personal perspective. I have had more than my share of these times including debilitating physical illness. People thank me over and over for sharing transparently. They are hungry for a perspective on their own situations and struggles and are encouraged that they are not alone.

We underestimate the place of sharing our experiences candidly along with God’s grace in the process. Each of us who is faithful is simply one more in the line of the heroes named in Hebrews 11 who lived by faith even when the chips were down. There is power in stories of brokenness transformed by grace!

Ambition, money, power and ministry

Ministry not only attracts those who have a deep passion for God and the spread of the Gospel but it can also attract those who have personal and selfish ambition, are driven by money or power and who find ministry platforms a convenient means of realizing their ambitions.

Why choose a ministry platform? Because it is relatively easy to hide behind a facade of spirituality and ministry. It is just another platform to use for their own purposes and believers are not always as discerning as they ought to be.

There are signs of those who are more about ambition, money and power than they are about humble service.

World changers
I am always cautious about Christian leaders who are going to "change the world." Now I am a guy who loves great vision and we are praying that God would allow us to impact 100 million people with the gospel in ReachGlobal. But that is going to happen through indigenous movements in specific areas of the world as God works. No one can "change the world." Jesus will when He returns but grandiose claims are often more about the personal ambition of the one making them than they are about Jesus. I can impact corners of the world through the Holy Spirit. I cannot change the world.

Power brokers
I am always cautious about Christian leaders who broker power, are unaccountable to others and who make major ministry decisions by themselves rather than through team. Power is a dangerous thing and does not leave one unscathed. The healthiest leaders surround themselves with accountability through boards, team and live with great personal humility demonstrated through service to others rather than through power. When I don't see that I am very cautious. The more power one exercises autonomously the more dangerous it is to them and to others.

When it becomes about money
I deeply believe in Christian stewardship and live that out. When, however, ministry becomes more about money than anything else, where there is an emphasis on what money can do or when a leader has not used money with integrity beware. I have had a situation recently where I did an online ministry seminar for an individual before I did my due diligence by checking him out on the web. After all, many prominent names were attached to his "ministry."

When I Googled him I found that he was under several federal charges (regarding money) and was in litigation with a number of churches who charge him with defrauding them of half a million dollars. In addition he has a string of unpaid bills. It is a long list of financial issues. Yet his ministry is all about raising one billion dollars for ministry and he advertises himself as one who can help ministry find those dollars. Of course he will not take my content down because he is making money on it.

In another case in a church I am familiar with the theme became more and more about money and the pressure to give went up and up. Eventually the leader left and has since declared bankruptcy. 

Personal ambition, power and money are warning signs to beware because they can hide behind spiritual language and be lived out in the name of ministry. The ministry veneer does not make them OK.

The truth of the matter is that we often allow behaviors in ministry that would never be tolerated in the secular workplace and the sad thing is that those behaviors are often coated with a veneer of spiritual language that others find it hard to press back on. Bad behavior is bad behavior but it is worse behavior when it is coated in a spiritual facade because one is using the Holy to cover the unholy.

We are far too reluctant to confront unholy behavior in ministry settings under the guise of "grace." Grace, however does not allow sinful behavior. Rather it forgives sinful behavior when it has been confronted or acknowledged.

Jesus told us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Wisdom is about recognizing what is spiritual and what is hiding behind a mask of spirituality. It is also about being aware of our own motivations in ministry because none of us are immune to what can happen when left to ourselves.

The discipline of listening

Listening - and actually hearing - is a discipline and practice that can help you grow and develop like few other practices. It is a sign of good emotional intelligence and of a secure, non-threatened individual. It also sends a strong message that those around us are important and that their voice counts. It is a posture of humility and valuing the worth of others.

Many people do not listen to others. They hear but they don't actually listen to what others are saying. Not listening is a sign of immaturity at the least and arrogance at the worst. We can be too busy, think we have the answers, don't want to hear what is being said or are perhaps threatened by what someone is saying.

Those who do not listen often pay a steep price. They do not hear personal feedback that would enable them to grow, advice that would keep them out of the ditch, feedback that could act as an early warning system that something is not right, counsel that can help them do what they do better or just information that would allow them to make better decisions.

The book of proverbs has a word for those who don't listen: fool. I don't like that word. Ironically, those who don't listen see themselves as wise - they have the answers. But the reality is that they are foolish and eventually pay the price for their foolishness!

Wise individuals do listen. They listen to those who agree with them and those who do not. They listen to good news and bad news. They actively seek counsel, opinion, feedback, and want to know what others are thinking. They are secure enough to know that even negative feedback is often really positive feedback because it allows them to grow.

Insecure individuals - the fool in Proverbs - would rather not know, or hear, or face the reality of what others might think. It is a trajectory that will eventually end up in the ditch, with a whole lot of pain.

The discipline of listening - and really hearing others - is a posture of humility that understands and communicates:

-I don't have all the answers
-I want to hear your opinion
-I am open to your feedback
-I need your counsel
-It is not about me but about us
-I want to be more effective
-I would rather know about bad news than not know - even if it is painful to  me
-I want to keep learning and growing
-I do not need to be right
-I have nothing to prove and nothing to lose
-There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors

One last thought. In order to listen we need to take the time. Those who don't take the time to listen to those around them are as foolish as those who don't want to listen to others. Both have the same effect.

How well are you doing in the discipline, practice, art, humility, of listening?

Communication is everyone's job

Communication is one of those things that is an ongoing challenge for every organization. We will never get it perfect and will never satisfy everyone's needs. Yet we cannot ignore it because good communication promotes trust while poor communication promotes mistrust.

A common compliant in larger churches or organizations that have seen significant growth is: "I don't know everything anymore." My response in my own organization is "I don't either." Further, I want to know what I need to know, not everything there is to know. That is a crucial difference.

In the black and white, preglobalized, pre-email world, communication was by necessity top down. Leaders would determine what people needed to know and they would - with different degrees of success - disseminate it down through the organization. By doing so, we trained staff that what they needed to know they would hear from their leaders. In addition, it was assumed that what we needed leaders to know would be shared back up the organizational ladder.

In an era of meetings, letters and expensive travel, it made sense. But it was cumbersome at best and often, information did not get to where it needed to go.

Globalization, with its technology changes everything. When my son was in college and doing a report on marketing, he simply found the contact information to the head of marketing at Best Buy and went directly to his source! In fact, for the under thirty generation today, there is an expectation that they can find out whatever they want to find out and share whatever they want to share. Blogs, email, twitter, Facebook  have supplanted the hierarchical view of communications for them. As a student, anyone who wanted to know what Jon thought of his professors could simply read his blog.

In this new world the rules of communication have changed even though not everyone has understood that. Here are the new rules:

One: If I need information I will go out and get it.

Two: If I have information others need I will communicate that information to those who need to know.

Three: Information flow is not inhibited or determined by hierarchical structures - the information world is flat.

Four: I won't and don't need to know everything - but do need to know those things that pertain to my work.

Five: Relationships still matter. Face to face discussion - even via video is better than email.

Six: Everyone is responsible for information flow up, down and sideways today.

In many ways, Microsoft invented a flat organization and has been a huge key to their success. GM never discovered a flat organization which is why they went through bankruptcy.

Finally, the best organizations not only promote and encourage the open flow of information and ideas but are "democratic in their attitude." New ideas, push back or criticism don't bother them. What bothers them is when people are not honest because in the milieu of ideas the best ideas come from mutual collaboration.

What would it take to double your ministry success?

It was one of those serendipitous meetings this week. I was asked to meet with a ministry leader from another organization and he told me an intriguing story.

At a gathering of their leaders last year - about thirty of them - they sat around a table and did a study of the term "fruit" in the New Testament. They came to the conclusion that ministry fruit - ministry results were far more important to God than to them. That God's expectation was far higher than theirs. It was one of those "a ha" moments that groups can have.

This led them to ask what I think is an amazing question and one which I think every ministry should ask. "What would it take for us to double the fruit of our ministry?" A simple question - with profound implications.

Now this is a well established ministry overseas. With well established programs. It is a healthy ministry. They started to look at where they were spending their time and energy and what they were getting in the various endeavors for their efforts.

But the question, coming out of a conviction that God desired more fruit than they were seeing caused them to re-evaluate their programs and ministries. And they did something radical. Some programs they shut down to retool. Others they put on hold and they are trying new things and spending a year thinking strategically about how they can double the results of their ministries without changing the number of staff or the size of their budget.

I give this ministry high marks for asking the question. I think all of us who lead ministries or parts of ministries could benefit from asking that question. We might be surprised with what God shows us. And it fits with those who have a sense of urgency. We know that ultimately God is the one who brings fruit. We also know He wants us to be fruitful and there are things we can do that can make the soil better - including robust prayer strategies which often get lost in our activity.

Often the answer is just doing things more strategically in a more focused manner. Periodically we need to think about what we do and how we do it, especially as the ministry environment around us has changed. A few major changes can radically change ministry fruit.

What would it take in your ministry to double the fruit you see? It does, after all go to the heart of what God wants for us (John 15).

Church boards and fear

All too often church boards are unwilling to make strategic directional and ministry decisions because of fear. Fear that someone will not be happy with the decision. Fear that conflict or controversy might erupt. As a result many church boards provide a terribly low level of leadership. It is as if, not doing anything that would ruffle the waters is their true job when nothing could be further from the truth.

One of the realities of life is that most people do not like change. It takes them out of their comfort zone and they like the predictability and comfort of the status quo. Studies on change show that within the general population, 2.5 percent are innovators; 13.5 percent are early adopters; 34 percent are early majority; 34 percent are late majority; and 16 percent are laggards (Rogers, The Diffusion of Innovation).

Most people don't like change. Yet the mission of the church is a distinctly missional one - to take territory for Christ and that means there is a constant need to get people out of their comfort zones and engaged in strategic efforts to introduce people to Jesus and help them grow.

What do leaders need to know when they propose bold initiatives of ministry?

• Many people will react with skepticism or negatively at first - this is normal
• Some loud voices will be heard in opposition - this is normal
• Some might threaten to leave the church - this is normal
• Some may well leave the church - this is normal
• Some will take shots at the leaders - this is normal

The question is not whether some or all of these normal events will happen. The question is whether leaders will be intimidated and run for cover. 

Unfortunately that is also too often normal but it is cowardice, not leadership. It is to abandon their leadership role to help the church be as effective in carrying out the commission Christ left it as they can be.

Here is an interesting thought. In an evangelical church, most if not all of those who push back on new ministry initiatives will be in heaven one day. But, most of the community around us will not be, unless we boldly lead. Thus, to be held hostage by those who know Jesus but don't like change is to abandon those who will not be reached unless we move forward. Which is the greater value?

I have watched once vital churches decline significantly in attendance and effectiveness because leaders would not lead in the face of those who resisted change. I am sad for those churches. I understand the resistance to change. But I do not understand the lack of courage, will, fortitude, resolve and commitment of the leaders. That to me is the truly sad thing.

If you are a leader, do not be intimidated by those who resist change. That is normal. Rather be motivated by the responsibility God has given you to lead His church into the most effective ministry possible. That is a divine mandate.

Non-defensive living: Nothing to prove, nothing to lose

It is rare to find a truly non defensive individual but where you do you have an easy person to talk to because they have intentionally developed an attitude of nothing to prove, nothing to lose.

If I have nothing to prove, I don't need to be right all the time, I don't need to have all the answers, and I have nothing to be defensive about when I receive a word of criticism or counsel. That does not mean that I must agree with the evaluation being shared but I can evaluate it from a more neutral position because I don't have anything to prove.

Those who have nothing to prove and nothing to lose have open faces that invite conversation and dialogue while those who are defensive have closed faces that say, "don't go there." One invites conversation, the other shuts conversation down - fast.

Defensiveness comes out of two core and unhealthy needs. The need to be right and the need to not lose "face." The need to be right is plain arrogance (none of us are always right) and the need to not lose "face" is simply our pride which is an artificial shell we erect around ourselves to project the image of something we are really not.

Both arrogance and pride are products of our lower nature, are routinely on the list of things God hates (see Proverbs) and are the root of defensive attitudes.

Healthy individuals intentionally cultivate an attitude of nothing to prove, nothing to lose. They are open to criticism or evaluation because they do not feel a need to prove anything and are comfortable enough in their own skin that they are not afraid of losing anything.

It is an attitude of healthy humility that comes out of an inner core of personal confidence, healthy self image and an open spirit. There is no hint of arrogance or pride - thus there is no personal defensiveness.

Think of the people you know well. Which of them respond with openness to suggestions or evaluation? Which of them bristle and shut down the conversation? How do you do in this area?

It is a good mantra to remember: Nothing to prove, nothing to lose.

Learning to understand those we work with

There are few skills more important than that of learning how to understand those who we work with. It was Barnabas who watched and understood Paul after his conversion when others were deeply fearful of him. It was also Barnabas who understood John Mark when Paul wrote him off as a a failure: He got it right when Paul got it wrong.

Paul grew in this area and was a good read of Timothy and Titus, two men who he took under his wing to mentor. First and Second Timothy are full of insight into Timothy's wiring, propensities, strengths and weaknesses with specific wisdom and insight brought to bear by Paul. Paul had learned to do what Barnabas did instinctively, exegete people.

Everyone has fears, insecurities, strengths, unique wiring and blind spots that impact who they are, how they relate and how they are perceived. Good leaders learn how to exegete and understand those they lead and work with because it allows them to speak into their lives in a way that would otherwise be impossible.

This is a skill that can be learned. Often young leaders, like Paul, are too busy with their missional agenda to understand those around them. Hopefully, like Paul, they also learn the importance of exegeting people and opportunities along with the text.

Several simple suggestions for those who want to grow in their ability to exegete colleagues and staff. First, spend time in dialogue with them. It is in dialogue and probing that one best understands where another individual is coming from, what drives them and their framework of thinking and understanding. This is what Barnabas did with Paul in the early days. When others were afraid of him and therefore shunned him, Barnabas took him aside and talked with him - encouraged him and discipled him.

Second, watch, listen and observe words and actions. It is amazing what one can learn by simply being a good observer of words and actions. This is important in understanding those who report to you, those who are your colleagues or those above you. They more you understand how people think, how they react and how they make decisions the better you can influence their thinking and work productively with them.

Third, take time to mull and think about why a staff member reacts or acts the way they do. Just as insight into texts come to those who preach and teach as they mull the text so insight into people comes if we will take the time to mull them. People are complex and the better we understand their complexity the better we will understand who they are and what informs their actions.

Those who become exegetes of those around them find themselves with much better relationships than those who don't. In fact, those who don't build this skill often end up with shallow relationships because they never took the time to understand their colleagues. In the end it can short circuit one's leadership effectiveness.

See this important prayer update from Open Doors. Christian leaders in North Korea are asking for prayer amid war preparations

OPEN DOORS USA

Jerry Dykstra

Media Relations Director

Phone: 616-915-4117

Email: jerryd@odusa.org

Website: www.OpenDoorsUSA.org

North Korean Church Leaders Ask for Prayer

Amid War Preparations

Underground Christians Report Ratcheting Up of Combat Readiness

SANTA ANA, Calif. (April 4, 2013) – North Korean church leaders are asking Christians worldwide to pray for their country amid increased war threats and combat preparation by North Korean military officials.

Prayer for beleaguered believers in North Korea is more important than ever, says Open Doors, an organization that supports persecuted Christians in 60 countries.

According to underground Christians, there is a war-like atmosphere in the country:

“We are to meet the decisive battle with a gun in one hand and a hammer in the other,” summarized a Christian leader about the message the North Korean people recently received from the “high command.”

“The military army, navy, air force troops, strategic rocket troops, the red guards and the red youth guards are already in combat mode. Urgent meetings are being held everywhere, regardless if it is day or night. At those meetings, officials make decisions on what needs to happen in case war breaks out and everyone, including women, needs to be combat ready.”

According to Open Doors sources, many cars on the roads are covered with camouflage nets. Also, soldiers are wearing hats with camouflage dried branches and carry guns. North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un released a statement to his people, saying that “If war breaks out because of the actions of the U.S. and puppet South Korean’s unpardonable behavior, they will end up with a disgraceful downfall, and our people will greet a brilliant new day of reunification. The day has come to show off the power of ‘Military First’ and our great nation to the whole world.”

However, Christians and other citizens fear war and its consequences.

“Many people are in a hurry to purchase emergency food supplies and daily goods just in case. The prices of goods, including food, are skyrocketing,” tells one believer in North Korea.

North Korean Christians are grateful for their fellow believers in the West and request their urgent prayers.

“I would like to thank the many brothers and sisters around the world for their continuous love and support,” says the Christian believer. “We know that our journey will not be an easy one, but we are sure that our faith, desperate hope and passionate desire will some day bear many fruit. No matter how difficult life is for us, we never blame or complain about our circumstances. God has promised us in the Bible that if we seek His Kingdom first, all other things will be given to us as well. Please pray for us.”

Jerry Dykstra, a spokesman for Open Doors USA, adds: “Beneath the surface of the all the rhetoric of war and the possible launch of nuclear missiles are the suffering and persecution of the estimated 200,000 to 400,000 Christians in North Korea. Also, an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 Christians are in harsh political prison camps. The government has been the No. 1 persecutor of Christians for 11 years in a row, according to the Open Doors 2013 World Watch List (www.worldwatchlist.us).

“We must respond now to the Christian leaders’ request to pray for them. Pray for Kim Jong-Un; that God will work in his heart and he will pursue peace and not war. Pray for wisdom for leaders in the United States, South Korea and China. Pray for Christians who are put in even more danger due to war preparations. Pray families will find food to feed their families. Finally, pray that no matter what happens Christians will remain strong in their faith.”

For almost 60 years Open Doors has worked in the world's most oppressive and restrictive countries, strengthening Christians to stand strong in the face of persecution and equipping them to shine Christ's light in these places. Open Doors empowers persecuted Christians by supplying Bibles and Christian literature, training Christian leaders, facilitating social/economic projects and uniting believers in the West in prayer for Christians, who are the most persecuted religious group in the world and are oppressed in at least 60 countries. To partner with Open Doors USA, call toll free at 888-5-BIBLE-5 (888-524-2535) or go to our website at www.OpenDoorsUSA.org.

(For more information or to set up an interview, contact Open Doors USA Media Relations Director Jerry Dykstra at 616-915-4117 or email JerryD@odusa.org.)

Photo: North Korean soldiers guard the border between North and South Korea.