How large is your vision for what God could do and wants to do in your city and community?
When you think about it, that is a very different question than "What do we want God to do in our church?" The first is outward focused and a Great Commission question while the second is an inward self focused question.
In many places, one can grow a church with little impact on the community of which that church is a part. Most often that is through transfer growth from other churches. And it makes us feel successful. But is that truly success? What impact does Jesus want our congregations to have on the community at large of which we are a part?
Last evening I met with a small group of believers who are praying for Berlin, Germany. Their prayer is for a result like what happened in the planting of the church in Ephesus where the text says that "the name of the Lord Jesus was held in high honor" and "in this way the word of the Lord spread widely and grew in power (Acts 19:18-20)." Bear in mind that this was a totally pagan context, like Berlin today.
Can this happen in a place like Berlin? Can it happen in a place like yours? I believe the answer is yes - but with certain qualifications.
It will not happen if we all focus on our own church. It will not happen if we don't work together for the sake of the Gospel in our communities and cities. It will not happen if we are unwilling to work together across denominational lines. Most fundamentally, it will not happen if we are building our own kingdom (our church) rather than Christ's Kingdom (impacting our whole community). It will not happen until we lose our pride about doing our own thing and humble ourselves to work with others to do God's thing. And it will not happen without the very real power of God behind this God sized effort.
Fortunately in Berlin and in a number of places globally including the US, there are churches who are starting to think differently. They are placing the Bride of Christ over their particular Brand. They are thinking in Kingdom terms rather than provincially about their church only. They are focused outwardly rather than inwardly with a coalition of the willing to bring the Gospel to their community and city and make the name of Jesus well known and His reputation great.
Where does this start? With pastors and church leaders who will see their communities through the eyes of Jesus and who realize that a God sized vision is not a vision for their church but for their community and their city. I don't find very many of those kinds of leaders but when I do I celebrate them. What about you and your leaders? Are you thinking about Gospel penetration of your community or simply yourselves. If the former what are you doing in practical terms to make it a reality?
Are you church centric or Gospel centric?
Showing posts with label church health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church health. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Shallow CliffsNotes Christianity
As I survey the contemporary evangelical church today in
the west I would often characterize it as shallow, lacking in substance,
Christianity light and easy grace. In some cases, there is not much difference
between a self help seminar (think Tony Robins) and what is shared in the name
of God’s word from the pulpit – as if the Scriptures are primarily a self help
manual that if followed will bring us prosperity and health. Certainly it
should not get too personal or interfere with our lives.
Some will think this too critical and I don’t desire to be
an angry modern day prophet who throws stones. And, I am sure based on past
history that I will lose some Twitter followers over this blog. That being
said, here are some of the things we don’t see among many western evangelicals
that lead me to my conclusion.
One: suffering seems to be a lost subject and we are
surprised when it surfaces in our lives. When it does it often causes Western
believers to question the goodness of God and leads many to bitterness and
doubt. Yet, Jesus made it abundantly clear that the way of the cross is the way
of suffering. What does it mean when He says, “Then
he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves
and take up their cross daily and follow me (Luke
9:23).” A cross is, by definition
the metaphor for suffering and Jesus says it is a daily occurrence for those
who follow Him. The Apostle Paul talked with emotion about sharing in the
fellowship of His sufferings.
Two: Western believers as a group are, (how do I say it?),
stingy with God. The average evangelical gives something like two percent of
their income back to Him. Now, in case you think I have gone legalistic here,
bear with me a moment. It is not about legalism but about value. “For God so loved the world that he gave his
one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but
have eternal life. (John 3:16).
I believe that we have so cheaply sold what God did on our
behalf, even though He gave His only son – to become sin for us so that we
could know Him who knew no sin – and be justified through His righteousness and
death on our behalf that our gratitude is shallow and our response is cheap.
Second Corinthians 8 and 9 speak of giving as a direct response to His grace.
If that is so our giving does not reflect much value toward His amazing grace
but is often pocket change tossed into His hat on occasion. We simply don’t
value His gift to us very much as evidenced by our response.
Three: American evangelicalism has very little to say about
sin. OK, I don’t like the subject much either but Scripture has a lot to say
about it in relation to a Holy God. The Scriptures talk about sin on 1365
occasions. But mostly this gets lost in the CliffsNotes version of
Evangelicalism. After all you have to cut somewhere and this is most convenient
place to do it.
Except, that without an understanding of my depravity I
cannot understand God’s grace. Why did the woman in John 12:3 use all of her
saving to pour pure nard on the feet of Jesus and then wipe them clean with her
hair? She understood her sin and therefore the amazing grace that Jesus had
blessed her with. Her desire to follow was directly connected with the grace
she had been given and her acute awareness of her fallen condition. A sinless
Christianity is a cheap parody of the true human condition – even those who
know and follow Jesus. Paul described himself as the chief of sinners and that
was toward the end of his life. It is what drove him to live in God’s grace on
a daily basis.
Four: We are far more consumed with our, lives, careers,
pleasures and interests than we are with joining God in His work in our world.
Some of the blame here can be laid at the door of the church that has defined
ministry as what happens inside its four walls with its programs. Thus, I
minister when I bow to the church’s agenda and fill needed spots in their
programs. But what ever happened to ministry being with the people I work with
and live with or who hang out at the local tavern? Where was Jesus found most
of the time?
That being said, in general, we are so consumed with our
agendas that we lose sight of God’s agenda – which requires that we read His
book, another lost art (I am heartened by the Eat This Book challenge that has
thousands of believers reading through the Bible this year). When our life
agenda takes precedence over God’s agenda we have reimaged God after our own
image.
Five: American Evangelicals don’t truly believe that lost
people are lost for eternity apart from a personal relationship with Jesus
Christ. We are more likely to share our latest weight loss plan than we are
Jesus. Losing weight has its place, and I am vigorously pursuing that, but the
Gospel is good news for time and eternity. If we do believe that lost people
are truly lost apart from Jesus, we assume that it is the church’s
responsibility to share the news not us.
When I tell my wife I love her but don’t demonstrate that
love she knows my words are shallow and lack sincerity. When we tell God we
love Him but don’t walk the walk of our talk we are guilty of shallow
Christianity. What do you think when you consider the Western version of
evangelicalism? There are wonderful exceptions of course but I fear that our
version of Christianity is often far more cultural than it is Biblical.
Having written this, I am of course obliged to consider
each of these five areas in light of my own life and practice: irritating but
instructive. Come to think of it, maybe I’ll unsubscribe me from Twitter as
well. I don’t like being uncomfortable any more than others.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Generous churches
Is it possible that many churches see little fruit because they live selfishly? By that I mean that they exist primarily for themselves rather than for those who do not yet know Jesus.
They would never say that about themselves of course. But the number of people who come to Jesus through their ministry are few, and they have little or no impact beyond the edges of their parking lot.
Generous churches, like generous people, see beyond themselves and their mission is not primarily about themselves but about impacting lives and communities with the Gospel. They give away their time, energy, resources and love so that the name of Jesus is lifted high and His name becomes well known. They love on their community, they love on the unloved, and they love on the unsaved. So much so that whole communities know that they are a congregation of love.
Generous congregations love when people come to them but they are focused on going to others, meeting them on their ground and ministering to them on their turf. They look for ways to meet needs, share truth and love people in the name of Jesus. They don't wait for people to come to them but find ways to go to others.
Life is not about us but about Jesus. It is true for us personally and it is true for congregations. Just as many Christ followers don't get that, so many congregations don't get that. But those who do see the fruit of their generosity as people and communities are impacted with His love and we are energized by our Christ centered actions and God's smile on our lives.
How do we know whether we are a generous congregation? Here is the test. Would those in our area say we love on the community? Do they even know we are there or are we a non-event because our influence stays inside the boundaries of our parking lot? Are we living generously or selfishly?
They would never say that about themselves of course. But the number of people who come to Jesus through their ministry are few, and they have little or no impact beyond the edges of their parking lot.
Generous churches, like generous people, see beyond themselves and their mission is not primarily about themselves but about impacting lives and communities with the Gospel. They give away their time, energy, resources and love so that the name of Jesus is lifted high and His name becomes well known. They love on their community, they love on the unloved, and they love on the unsaved. So much so that whole communities know that they are a congregation of love.
Generous congregations love when people come to them but they are focused on going to others, meeting them on their ground and ministering to them on their turf. They look for ways to meet needs, share truth and love people in the name of Jesus. They don't wait for people to come to them but find ways to go to others.
Life is not about us but about Jesus. It is true for us personally and it is true for congregations. Just as many Christ followers don't get that, so many congregations don't get that. But those who do see the fruit of their generosity as people and communities are impacted with His love and we are energized by our Christ centered actions and God's smile on our lives.
How do we know whether we are a generous congregation? Here is the test. Would those in our area say we love on the community? Do they even know we are there or are we a non-event because our influence stays inside the boundaries of our parking lot? Are we living generously or selfishly?
Friday, June 8, 2012
Transformational Leadership
There is much discussion around the issue of transformation today, as there should be. One thing that we often overlook is that ministries are often deeply in need of transformation and renewal as well and it is the job of leaders to see that happen. I call this transformational leadership.
Transformational leadership in the Christian ministry arena is the deliberate creation of healthy, empowered, Spirit led, collegial and effective ministries. It is the opposite of managing the status quo. Instead, the transformational leader sees his or her job as bringing transformation to all areas of the organization where malaise, bureaucracy, lack of Spiritual sensitivity, unempowement, lack of missional clarity or alignment and focused results has crept in. This is not a one time thing but an ongoing concern. Organizational renewal is always ongoing.
It is organizational change designed to breath life, spiritual vitality, missional clarity and focused results into it. The transformational leader applies the principles of spiritual transformation into an entire ministry organization. On the individual side they create a culture where spiritual transformation is encouraged and on the organizational side they create a culture where spiritual vitality and missional clarity can flourish.
All good leaders are change agents toward healthy organizational structures, cultures and ethos where individuals can flourish and be all that they were made to be. Because organizations slide toward institutionalism and comfortable, leaders are constantly ensuring that they stay missional and focused. When a leader ceases to be a transformational leader they cease to be effective.
Transformational leadership starts with leaders who make transformation in their own lives a priority. One cannot take others where one has not been themselves. They are then deliberate in creating the healthiest environment within the ministry or team that they lead.
Are you a leader or a transformational leader and what does that look like for you and your organization? Where is your organization in need of renewal?
Transformational leadership in the Christian ministry arena is the deliberate creation of healthy, empowered, Spirit led, collegial and effective ministries. It is the opposite of managing the status quo. Instead, the transformational leader sees his or her job as bringing transformation to all areas of the organization where malaise, bureaucracy, lack of Spiritual sensitivity, unempowement, lack of missional clarity or alignment and focused results has crept in. This is not a one time thing but an ongoing concern. Organizational renewal is always ongoing.
It is organizational change designed to breath life, spiritual vitality, missional clarity and focused results into it. The transformational leader applies the principles of spiritual transformation into an entire ministry organization. On the individual side they create a culture where spiritual transformation is encouraged and on the organizational side they create a culture where spiritual vitality and missional clarity can flourish.
All good leaders are change agents toward healthy organizational structures, cultures and ethos where individuals can flourish and be all that they were made to be. Because organizations slide toward institutionalism and comfortable, leaders are constantly ensuring that they stay missional and focused. When a leader ceases to be a transformational leader they cease to be effective.
Transformational leadership starts with leaders who make transformation in their own lives a priority. One cannot take others where one has not been themselves. They are then deliberate in creating the healthiest environment within the ministry or team that they lead.
Are you a leader or a transformational leader and what does that look like for you and your organization? Where is your organization in need of renewal?
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Five issues often ignored by church and ministry boards
There are a number of issues that ministry boards often overlook, thinking that they are small items and not worth pressing into. These small items, however, have the potential to significantly impact the ministry over the long run.
1. Allowing their leader (pastor or other) to operate without a definable annual plan. The thinking is that we have a competent leader and insisting that he has an annual plan isn't that important. It is!
If the senior leader does not have an annual plan then neither in most cases do other staff or the organization as a whole. Bad idea if you want a results oriented ministry.
2. Not evaluating your pastor or ministry leader annually - and against the annual plan they developed. Again we think, at this level, evaluations are not important. In fact, at this level they are even more important because the leadership of your senior leader impacts everyone in the organization.
In addition, it gives you a venue to talk about issues that you may want dialogue on. You don't want to start reviews when there is a significant issue. Get into the rhythm before issues arrive so that you have a venue to deal with them when they do.
3. Ignoring bad hires, early departures or trends with staff that could be warning signs of staff culture trouble. We want to give our senior leader great leeway and we should. But not at the expense of asking hard questions when there are warning signs flashing that all might not be well. If there is a warning light coming on, explore it, don't ignore it.
4. Allowing a leader to continue year after year when the ministry has plateaued, direction is missing and key people are departing because of it. We don't like confrontation (which is usually a good thing). But keeping quiet in the face of organizational decline is criminal for board members whose job it is to guard the organization. When senior leaders cannot lead well and they become the cause of ministry decline, they must transition out of their leadership role.
5. Not honestly and candidly evaluating themselves as a board - and allowing for unhealthy practices at the board level. Boards are not immune from the same scrutiny they give their leader and the ministry they oversee. When they are immune, they often allow unhealthy and non-missional behavior that hurts the organization they represent.
While these issues may not seem important to you right now there will come a day when they are. Ignoring them it a prelude to trouble that can be traced back to those in governance.
1. Allowing their leader (pastor or other) to operate without a definable annual plan. The thinking is that we have a competent leader and insisting that he has an annual plan isn't that important. It is!
If the senior leader does not have an annual plan then neither in most cases do other staff or the organization as a whole. Bad idea if you want a results oriented ministry.
2. Not evaluating your pastor or ministry leader annually - and against the annual plan they developed. Again we think, at this level, evaluations are not important. In fact, at this level they are even more important because the leadership of your senior leader impacts everyone in the organization.
In addition, it gives you a venue to talk about issues that you may want dialogue on. You don't want to start reviews when there is a significant issue. Get into the rhythm before issues arrive so that you have a venue to deal with them when they do.
3. Ignoring bad hires, early departures or trends with staff that could be warning signs of staff culture trouble. We want to give our senior leader great leeway and we should. But not at the expense of asking hard questions when there are warning signs flashing that all might not be well. If there is a warning light coming on, explore it, don't ignore it.
4. Allowing a leader to continue year after year when the ministry has plateaued, direction is missing and key people are departing because of it. We don't like confrontation (which is usually a good thing). But keeping quiet in the face of organizational decline is criminal for board members whose job it is to guard the organization. When senior leaders cannot lead well and they become the cause of ministry decline, they must transition out of their leadership role.
5. Not honestly and candidly evaluating themselves as a board - and allowing for unhealthy practices at the board level. Boards are not immune from the same scrutiny they give their leader and the ministry they oversee. When they are immune, they often allow unhealthy and non-missional behavior that hurts the organization they represent.
While these issues may not seem important to you right now there will come a day when they are. Ignoring them it a prelude to trouble that can be traced back to those in governance.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
When leadership boards become the barrier to church growth
Leadership boards play a significant role in whether congregations grow or hit a plateau or even go into decline.
Here is a general rule. The more time a leadership board spends on managing the day to day affairs of a church the greater the barrier they will be to church growth. The more time a leadership board spends on thinking and praying about the future the greater the chances that ministry growth will occur.
Why? Because a focus on the status quo will give you more status quo while a focus on the future will lead you toward that future.
This is why leadership boards should allow staff and volunteers to do the managing of day to day affairs and spend the majority of their time (50 % or more) thinking, praying and planning for the future.
How does a leadership board get to a place where it can afford to spend a good portion of their time in praying, thinking and learning so that they can move the ministry forward?
First plan your agendas around the big rocks not the small rocks.
Second, task others with coming up with systems or solutions to the small rocks and third delegate whatever they can to others so that they can do what they should be doing.
This is why the Apostles delegated the looking after the widows in the early church to others. It was the first known ministry team!
Whatever boards focus on will be the thing that gets done. It is a simple but important principle.
My book, High Impact Church boards, goes into greater detail if you need to refocus your board.
Here is a general rule. The more time a leadership board spends on managing the day to day affairs of a church the greater the barrier they will be to church growth. The more time a leadership board spends on thinking and praying about the future the greater the chances that ministry growth will occur.
Why? Because a focus on the status quo will give you more status quo while a focus on the future will lead you toward that future.
This is why leadership boards should allow staff and volunteers to do the managing of day to day affairs and spend the majority of their time (50 % or more) thinking, praying and planning for the future.
How does a leadership board get to a place where it can afford to spend a good portion of their time in praying, thinking and learning so that they can move the ministry forward?
First plan your agendas around the big rocks not the small rocks.
Second, task others with coming up with systems or solutions to the small rocks and third delegate whatever they can to others so that they can do what they should be doing.
This is why the Apostles delegated the looking after the widows in the early church to others. It was the first known ministry team!
Whatever boards focus on will be the thing that gets done. It is a simple but important principle.
My book, High Impact Church boards, goes into greater detail if you need to refocus your board.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
What your pastor might want to tell you if he could
Dear congregation:
It is a joy to serve you, most of the time. I love you and I love what I do but there are things that irritate me too. The problem is that while you have full freedom to tell me those things that irritate you, it is harder for me to tell you. So, this anonymous letter.
I know that Sundays are convenient days to talk to me about concerns you have, or criticisms, but it is not convenient for me. Nor Monday's. I work so hard to be ready for Sunday when I preach and teach and it is really discouraging when I get sideswiped by issues on those days. Can you wait till at least Tuesday?
Also, as a pastor I have a congregation with 500 adults which also means 500 people who have an opinion on almost everything. I want to know what you think if you can share it nicely and without an agenda to force me to do something. Part of being a body is being flexible enough to deal with the varied people we have and to learn to live together in harmony. I try to be flexible. I hope you can be as well.
On that matter. Remember that this is not the church you left to come to this one. I know they did things a certain way but we are not that church (remember why you decided to leave there?). We are a different church with our own DNA and way of doing things. So please don't expect us to do things the way your past church(s) did them.
Sometimes I do things that irritate others. I guess it is part of being human. I know that as the pastor that is not really allowed but it can and will happen. Can you forgive me as I get to forgive a lot of others on a regular basis? It is hard to preach to people who are holding grudges and issues that they won't let go of. Maybe you could sit in the very back instead of the front row if you can't let it go :).
I am learning to not be as defensive as I sometimes am. I guess one can become so when they care so much about something and I care a lot about the church and its people. Easy criticism is hurtful to me because I am doing my very best. Thoughtful, loving dialogue is something I can handle a lot better if you have constructive ideas.
I know it bothers some of you that I cannot be at all events. The truth is that I have a family like you and I do my best to balance my family and ministry responsibilities. I also get tired from the many heavy issues that people have and bring to me. I love to minister to hurting people but sometimes I just need to get away and regain my perspective and rest. Thanks for understanding.
Oh, another thought. On a lot of things you really don't need me. You need someone to help but not necessarily your senior pastor. We need to learn to minister to one another and not expect the pastor to do all the ministering. I am pretty sure that is why the Holy Spirit gives gifts to everyone. Let's spread out the caring and ministry so that we are all in ministry because otherwise I will burn out. I cannot carry the load but I will gladly share the load. And you?
Really, most of the time my work is a joy which is why I do what I do. But I did need to share with your my perspective on a few things. Thanks for listening. I love you (most days).
The pastor of a typical church, maybe yours.
It is a joy to serve you, most of the time. I love you and I love what I do but there are things that irritate me too. The problem is that while you have full freedom to tell me those things that irritate you, it is harder for me to tell you. So, this anonymous letter.
I know that Sundays are convenient days to talk to me about concerns you have, or criticisms, but it is not convenient for me. Nor Monday's. I work so hard to be ready for Sunday when I preach and teach and it is really discouraging when I get sideswiped by issues on those days. Can you wait till at least Tuesday?
Also, as a pastor I have a congregation with 500 adults which also means 500 people who have an opinion on almost everything. I want to know what you think if you can share it nicely and without an agenda to force me to do something. Part of being a body is being flexible enough to deal with the varied people we have and to learn to live together in harmony. I try to be flexible. I hope you can be as well.
On that matter. Remember that this is not the church you left to come to this one. I know they did things a certain way but we are not that church (remember why you decided to leave there?). We are a different church with our own DNA and way of doing things. So please don't expect us to do things the way your past church(s) did them.
Sometimes I do things that irritate others. I guess it is part of being human. I know that as the pastor that is not really allowed but it can and will happen. Can you forgive me as I get to forgive a lot of others on a regular basis? It is hard to preach to people who are holding grudges and issues that they won't let go of. Maybe you could sit in the very back instead of the front row if you can't let it go :).
I am learning to not be as defensive as I sometimes am. I guess one can become so when they care so much about something and I care a lot about the church and its people. Easy criticism is hurtful to me because I am doing my very best. Thoughtful, loving dialogue is something I can handle a lot better if you have constructive ideas.
I know it bothers some of you that I cannot be at all events. The truth is that I have a family like you and I do my best to balance my family and ministry responsibilities. I also get tired from the many heavy issues that people have and bring to me. I love to minister to hurting people but sometimes I just need to get away and regain my perspective and rest. Thanks for understanding.
Oh, another thought. On a lot of things you really don't need me. You need someone to help but not necessarily your senior pastor. We need to learn to minister to one another and not expect the pastor to do all the ministering. I am pretty sure that is why the Holy Spirit gives gifts to everyone. Let's spread out the caring and ministry so that we are all in ministry because otherwise I will burn out. I cannot carry the load but I will gladly share the load. And you?
Really, most of the time my work is a joy which is why I do what I do. But I did need to share with your my perspective on a few things. Thanks for listening. I love you (most days).
The pastor of a typical church, maybe yours.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Relational Intelligence
I believe there is a direct connection between the health of a church or organization and the relational intelligence of its constituency. I would argue, for instance, that churches with high levels of conflict have poor relational skills while congregations with little to no ongoing conflict have a higher level of relational intelligence.
Relational intelligence, a part of EQ or emotional intelligence, is the ability to relate to others in healthy ways, keep personal boundaries intact, negotiate conflict or differences with others without breaking relationship, be self defined personally about what one believes even when others would disagree and not get pulled into emotional triangles or enmeshment with others. If you think about it, the lack of these skills are large contributors to conflict and relational dysfunction.
Consider personal boundaries. Any number of individuals or groups would like to pull you into their orbit, take up their cause, believe their version of events and rope you into their issues. Healthy personal boundaries recognizes this when they see it and wisely hold their own counsel rather than get pulled into other issues. One of the major reasons that conflict escalates is the lack of healthy personal boundaries.
Or consider self definition - the ability to speak one's mind with clarity even when others may disagree. When there is poor relational intelligence, rather than being self defined, individuals communicate what they think others want to hear (for reasons of acceptance). The problem is that they often cater to their audience and end up giving false impressions as to what they really believe and say one thing to one group and another to another group which causes all kinds of confusion.
One of the most critical areas of relational intelligence goes to how we handle people who disagree with us. All too often when people disagree, they are cut off from friendships, marginalized if they are staff, and labeled as disloyal and troublemakers. Think of how destructive, painful, unloving and emotionally immature this is. It is a sign of someone who is not only emotionally immature but self absorbed because the core of this behavior is totally narcissistic. Because someone has not treated me well, or disagreed with me, or taken issue with me, I can no longer trust them, don't want to relate to them and thus I will marginalize them. Notice that it is all about me.
Whole churches get embroiled in conflict when this lack of relational intelligence prevails because those who don't agree with us become the enemy and relationships are severed. Staffs become dysfunctional when senior leaders display this behavior because they are dividing their staff into two camps, the loyal and disloyal and loyalty is usually defined as "they agree with me."
Interestingly, the New Testament has a great deal to say about relationships - healthy and unhealthy and it is the healthy that define good relational intelligence. Groups with high relational intelligence can differ on major issues but remain connected, loving and committed to one another. That is not true when there is poor relational intelligence which by definition divides, escalates conflict and destroys relationships.
I tend to give those with poor relational intelligence a very wide berth because I don't want to be caught up in their relational chaos.
We need to talk more candidly with our congregations about what God honoring relationships look like and what behaviors are destructive and decidedly not God honoring. We also need to be far more proactive in training ministry staff on issues of relational intelligence. Either we allow a relational culture that defines itself (usually negatively) or we define a God honoring relational culture and help people understand what contributes to health and what contributes to dis- health.
Good relational intelligence:
Relational intelligence, a part of EQ or emotional intelligence, is the ability to relate to others in healthy ways, keep personal boundaries intact, negotiate conflict or differences with others without breaking relationship, be self defined personally about what one believes even when others would disagree and not get pulled into emotional triangles or enmeshment with others. If you think about it, the lack of these skills are large contributors to conflict and relational dysfunction.
Consider personal boundaries. Any number of individuals or groups would like to pull you into their orbit, take up their cause, believe their version of events and rope you into their issues. Healthy personal boundaries recognizes this when they see it and wisely hold their own counsel rather than get pulled into other issues. One of the major reasons that conflict escalates is the lack of healthy personal boundaries.
Or consider self definition - the ability to speak one's mind with clarity even when others may disagree. When there is poor relational intelligence, rather than being self defined, individuals communicate what they think others want to hear (for reasons of acceptance). The problem is that they often cater to their audience and end up giving false impressions as to what they really believe and say one thing to one group and another to another group which causes all kinds of confusion.
One of the most critical areas of relational intelligence goes to how we handle people who disagree with us. All too often when people disagree, they are cut off from friendships, marginalized if they are staff, and labeled as disloyal and troublemakers. Think of how destructive, painful, unloving and emotionally immature this is. It is a sign of someone who is not only emotionally immature but self absorbed because the core of this behavior is totally narcissistic. Because someone has not treated me well, or disagreed with me, or taken issue with me, I can no longer trust them, don't want to relate to them and thus I will marginalize them. Notice that it is all about me.
Whole churches get embroiled in conflict when this lack of relational intelligence prevails because those who don't agree with us become the enemy and relationships are severed. Staffs become dysfunctional when senior leaders display this behavior because they are dividing their staff into two camps, the loyal and disloyal and loyalty is usually defined as "they agree with me."
Interestingly, the New Testament has a great deal to say about relationships - healthy and unhealthy and it is the healthy that define good relational intelligence. Groups with high relational intelligence can differ on major issues but remain connected, loving and committed to one another. That is not true when there is poor relational intelligence which by definition divides, escalates conflict and destroys relationships.
I tend to give those with poor relational intelligence a very wide berth because I don't want to be caught up in their relational chaos.
We need to talk more candidly with our congregations about what God honoring relationships look like and what behaviors are destructive and decidedly not God honoring. We also need to be far more proactive in training ministry staff on issues of relational intelligence. Either we allow a relational culture that defines itself (usually negatively) or we define a God honoring relational culture and help people understand what contributes to health and what contributes to dis- health.
Good relational intelligence:
- Does not get pulled into others issues
- Is self defined and keeps one's own counsel
- Resists triangulation and enmeshment with others
- Stays in relationship when others disagree with them
- Is not threatened by disagreement
- Forgives easily and seeks forgiveness quickly
- Does not divide people into friend and enemy camps
- Gets one's relational clues from Scripture and Jesus
- Thinks of the other's perspective as much as their own
- Tries to put themselves in the shoes of the other to understand their point of view
- Places love and grace for others above their own concerns
- Lives out 1 Corinthians 13
- Treats everyone with dignity
Would it not be great if our congregations and organizations had that kind of relational intelligence? The higher the relational intelligence of our organization the healthier it will be but the opposite is also true.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The critical importance of exit interviews
One of the most neglected disciplines in many churches and ministry organizations is that of doing exit interviews when staff leave. In fact, in some cases, I believe that some leaders don't want to do candid exit interviews because they know they have a problem with retaining staff and frankly don't want to address it. Yet, had they conducted candid and confidential exit interviews they would know how to address the issue.
What can exit interviews tell you? First, they may tell you why a staff member is actually leaving. Let's be honest. In many cases in ministry settings staff don't reveal the actual reason they are leaving out of concern for the organization or because they are under pressure not to rock the boat. If there is an underlying reason for their exit related to the culture of the ministry it is a good thing for you to know this.
Second, if there is a dysfunctional staff situation, and you see trends (see my blog, When the bodies pile up), the exit interviews give you information that can be used to address whatever dysfunction exists. That is, if you truly desire to do so. In some cases, in spite of problematic trends, leaders simply ignore the problem not wanting to deal with it. However, common stories when people leave do give you some helpful data to address underlying issues.
You may also discover that your hiring processes are not robust enough if there is a trend of people who don't fit. Poor hiring practices lead to a higher attrition rate which is unfortunate for the staff member as well as the organization.
One thing to remember is that people may vent on their way out so their own experience can be colored by their issues. One problematic exit does not make a trend. Over time, however, if there are consistent themes around any issue of staff health or culture the exit interviews give you an opportunity to address it.
As the leader of an organization, I take the feedback from staff who leave seriously. It gives us an opportunity to improve our culture and practices. I am given regular feedback from our personnel folks on trends that they pick up. Don't neglect your exit interviews. They are crucial to a healthy organization.
What can exit interviews tell you? First, they may tell you why a staff member is actually leaving. Let's be honest. In many cases in ministry settings staff don't reveal the actual reason they are leaving out of concern for the organization or because they are under pressure not to rock the boat. If there is an underlying reason for their exit related to the culture of the ministry it is a good thing for you to know this.
Second, if there is a dysfunctional staff situation, and you see trends (see my blog, When the bodies pile up), the exit interviews give you information that can be used to address whatever dysfunction exists. That is, if you truly desire to do so. In some cases, in spite of problematic trends, leaders simply ignore the problem not wanting to deal with it. However, common stories when people leave do give you some helpful data to address underlying issues.
You may also discover that your hiring processes are not robust enough if there is a trend of people who don't fit. Poor hiring practices lead to a higher attrition rate which is unfortunate for the staff member as well as the organization.
One thing to remember is that people may vent on their way out so their own experience can be colored by their issues. One problematic exit does not make a trend. Over time, however, if there are consistent themes around any issue of staff health or culture the exit interviews give you an opportunity to address it.
As the leader of an organization, I take the feedback from staff who leave seriously. It gives us an opportunity to improve our culture and practices. I am given regular feedback from our personnel folks on trends that they pick up. Don't neglect your exit interviews. They are crucial to a healthy organization.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Four key church board documents
Church boards have too many documents. Many of them are of no real use because they are written and filed but there are some basic documents that every church board should have. These documents guide the work of the board in significant ways. I would suggest four.
1. Your picture/document that reflects your clarity. As laid out in my book, Leading From The Sandbox, if you cannot explain your ministry philosophy, commitments and desired ends on one piece of paper, in one picture it is too complicated. Whether you use a sandbox, vision frame, ministry table or some other metaphor, this one picture should be able to tell anyone who asks what is truly important to your ministry and it becomes the picture/paradigm/language for explaining who you are to others.
2. Your board covenant that regulates your relationships. Board covenants are a one page document that spell out the relational commitments of board members to one another. Congregations rarely rise above the spiritual and relational commitments of board members so clarifying those commitments and living them out is key to a healthy board and therefore to a healthy church.
3. Your board policies that reflect how you operate as a board. Good boards have thought through the process they use to operate as a board. No healthy group operates without a set of implicit or explicit rules or principles for how they work together. Healthy boards have well written policies that reflect good governance principles, including how decisions are made and what even constitutes board work. These policies lay out the way you operate as a board, is the training manual for new board members and allows you to deal with rogue members should they arise.
4. Your annual ministry plan that reflects where you are going. Whether developed by staff, board or a combination of both, no congregation should be operating without an annual ministry plan which spells out where you are going. That plan then becomes the basis of a ministry assessment annually. It is your directional road map.
Boards should keep their work simple but they do need a set of core documents. These four explain your ministry, regulate your board relationships, board work and church direction.
1. Your picture/document that reflects your clarity. As laid out in my book, Leading From The Sandbox, if you cannot explain your ministry philosophy, commitments and desired ends on one piece of paper, in one picture it is too complicated. Whether you use a sandbox, vision frame, ministry table or some other metaphor, this one picture should be able to tell anyone who asks what is truly important to your ministry and it becomes the picture/paradigm/language for explaining who you are to others.
2. Your board covenant that regulates your relationships. Board covenants are a one page document that spell out the relational commitments of board members to one another. Congregations rarely rise above the spiritual and relational commitments of board members so clarifying those commitments and living them out is key to a healthy board and therefore to a healthy church.
3. Your board policies that reflect how you operate as a board. Good boards have thought through the process they use to operate as a board. No healthy group operates without a set of implicit or explicit rules or principles for how they work together. Healthy boards have well written policies that reflect good governance principles, including how decisions are made and what even constitutes board work. These policies lay out the way you operate as a board, is the training manual for new board members and allows you to deal with rogue members should they arise.
4. Your annual ministry plan that reflects where you are going. Whether developed by staff, board or a combination of both, no congregation should be operating without an annual ministry plan which spells out where you are going. That plan then becomes the basis of a ministry assessment annually. It is your directional road map.
Boards should keep their work simple but they do need a set of core documents. These four explain your ministry, regulate your board relationships, board work and church direction.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
What is the church and why does it matter?
When you hear the word church what comes to mind? For most of us it is probably a building with a bunch of people, programs, Sunday services, and a full time pastor or staff. Only one of those definitions is actually part of the real definition of church - people. Our common definition of church is very different than what we read about in the New Testament.
In the New Testament the church was a community of Christ followers who gathered regularly for worship and fellowship under defined leadership with Jesus as the head and the goal and whose mission was to grow in Jesus and share the Gospel with those around them. Typically they met in a home and had a bi-vocational pastor. They were about Jesus and people and a God given mission.
We often think of church as about programs but in fact a real church is about Jesus. It is about worshiping Him (not being entertained), following Him (life transformation) and making Him well known (telling others about Him). He is the central focus, the main thing, and the goal of our lives and worship.
It is very easy for both congregations and their leaders to take their eyes off of Jesus who is the focus of the church and put it on ourselves and our programs. It is also easy to define success as how many people come on a weekend which is usually a reshuffling of believers from other churches. In truth, the true definition of success of a church is true spiritual transformation (heart, thinking, priorities and relationships) which will result in growth because others will be impacted by our lives.
It is instructive to read the book of Acts and see the church through the eyes of Scripture. We often have much more of a cultural definition of church than we do a biblical definition. The danger in this is that we may end up with more cultural Christianity than we do Biblical and Jesus centered Christianity. While church leaders pursue their definition of success many in the congregation long for them to simplify and make Jesus the central focus, the main thing and the goal of our lives and worship. Jesus might to.
In the New Testament the church was a community of Christ followers who gathered regularly for worship and fellowship under defined leadership with Jesus as the head and the goal and whose mission was to grow in Jesus and share the Gospel with those around them. Typically they met in a home and had a bi-vocational pastor. They were about Jesus and people and a God given mission.
We often think of church as about programs but in fact a real church is about Jesus. It is about worshiping Him (not being entertained), following Him (life transformation) and making Him well known (telling others about Him). He is the central focus, the main thing, and the goal of our lives and worship.
It is very easy for both congregations and their leaders to take their eyes off of Jesus who is the focus of the church and put it on ourselves and our programs. It is also easy to define success as how many people come on a weekend which is usually a reshuffling of believers from other churches. In truth, the true definition of success of a church is true spiritual transformation (heart, thinking, priorities and relationships) which will result in growth because others will be impacted by our lives.
It is instructive to read the book of Acts and see the church through the eyes of Scripture. We often have much more of a cultural definition of church than we do a biblical definition. The danger in this is that we may end up with more cultural Christianity than we do Biblical and Jesus centered Christianity. While church leaders pursue their definition of success many in the congregation long for them to simplify and make Jesus the central focus, the main thing and the goal of our lives and worship. Jesus might to.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Do we really comprehend and live out God's grace in our lives?
It is not by accident that the hymn, Amazing Grace is a favorite for so many. It captures so well the essence of what attracted us to Jesus, redeemed us and it will indeed be something that we will spend eternity trying to comprehend. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9)."
I am convinced that we will never fully understand the full scope of God's grace this side of eternity but that it must be something that we push into daily. The more we understand His grace in our lives, the more content we are in Jesus, the more grace we show others and the more we look like Jesus. He is the essence of grace and it was what made Him the magnet for people that He was.
Understanding grace is a life changer for us and for how we relate to others. Too often we are recipients of God's grace but are not students of what it means to extend that same grace to others. The legalism, conditional acceptance, interpersonal conflict and lack of love even in the church is evidence of the great need for God's people to grow in grace. Knowing truth is not enough for Christ followers. Living out truth with the grace of Christ is what will attract others to us and then to Jesus. Jesus came full of "grace and truth." Do we?
For instance, when I truly understand and live out grace:
-I no longer try to earn God's favor but understand that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. Therefore I can be joyful and content in my daily walk with Him.
-I do not feel the need to play the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others but rather extend to them the grace God extends to me, pray for them and be patient with their faults as God is with mine. I am slow to judge, quick to think the best and remember how patient and gracious God is with me in my personal growth as I extend that same attitude toward others.
-I am able to forgive myself for my own shortcomings, knowing that God has already done that. My motivation to grown in my obedience is no longer about earning His favor but rather wanting to please Him out of gratitude for His amazing love.
-I forgive others quickly knowing that Jesus extends that gift to me daily. I cannot withhold from others what Jesus has so graciously extended to me. I don't give people what they deserve but what they don't deserve, just as Jesus did not give us what we deserve.
-I no longer look at people the way the world does but know that every individual I encounter has eternal value in His eyes and therefore must in my eyes as well. I go out of my way to love those that others don't love and to give value to those that others forget.
-I don't display conditional love just as Jesus does not give me conditional love. Unconditional love is the love of grace and it is an act of our will based on God's unconditional love for me.
-I love to surprise people with grace when they least expect or even deserve it. Just like Jesus with tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, lepers, and all those that were considered undeserving and worthy only of judgement. After all, God surprised us with grace when we did not deserve or expect it.
-I am not hard or harsh even when I need to bring correction to a brother or sister. Rather, my motivation is always love that comes out of God's gracious love in my own life. I display toward other the same graciousness that God gives to me daily.
-I love to encourage those who have messed up big time that God is not finished with them yet and that He can redeem their sin and give them hope and a purpose. After all, that is what God did for us. He is the hope for the broken, the guilty, and the hopeless. There is no person and no situation that God cannot redeem so we become evangelists of His hope.
There are many other characteristics of living out a life of grace. One of the most valuable things we can do is to regularly think about all of our relationships, attitudes, words and actions from a filter of God's grace to us. Reading the gospels regularly helps us to capture the secrets of Jesus' grace to inform us of what it means to live a grace filled life.
I am convinced that we will never fully understand the full scope of God's grace this side of eternity but that it must be something that we push into daily. The more we understand His grace in our lives, the more content we are in Jesus, the more grace we show others and the more we look like Jesus. He is the essence of grace and it was what made Him the magnet for people that He was.
Understanding grace is a life changer for us and for how we relate to others. Too often we are recipients of God's grace but are not students of what it means to extend that same grace to others. The legalism, conditional acceptance, interpersonal conflict and lack of love even in the church is evidence of the great need for God's people to grow in grace. Knowing truth is not enough for Christ followers. Living out truth with the grace of Christ is what will attract others to us and then to Jesus. Jesus came full of "grace and truth." Do we?
For instance, when I truly understand and live out grace:
-I no longer try to earn God's favor but understand that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. Therefore I can be joyful and content in my daily walk with Him.
-I do not feel the need to play the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others but rather extend to them the grace God extends to me, pray for them and be patient with their faults as God is with mine. I am slow to judge, quick to think the best and remember how patient and gracious God is with me in my personal growth as I extend that same attitude toward others.
-I am able to forgive myself for my own shortcomings, knowing that God has already done that. My motivation to grown in my obedience is no longer about earning His favor but rather wanting to please Him out of gratitude for His amazing love.
-I forgive others quickly knowing that Jesus extends that gift to me daily. I cannot withhold from others what Jesus has so graciously extended to me. I don't give people what they deserve but what they don't deserve, just as Jesus did not give us what we deserve.
-I no longer look at people the way the world does but know that every individual I encounter has eternal value in His eyes and therefore must in my eyes as well. I go out of my way to love those that others don't love and to give value to those that others forget.
-I don't display conditional love just as Jesus does not give me conditional love. Unconditional love is the love of grace and it is an act of our will based on God's unconditional love for me.
-I love to surprise people with grace when they least expect or even deserve it. Just like Jesus with tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, lepers, and all those that were considered undeserving and worthy only of judgement. After all, God surprised us with grace when we did not deserve or expect it.
-I am not hard or harsh even when I need to bring correction to a brother or sister. Rather, my motivation is always love that comes out of God's gracious love in my own life. I display toward other the same graciousness that God gives to me daily.
-I love to encourage those who have messed up big time that God is not finished with them yet and that He can redeem their sin and give them hope and a purpose. After all, that is what God did for us. He is the hope for the broken, the guilty, and the hopeless. There is no person and no situation that God cannot redeem so we become evangelists of His hope.
There are many other characteristics of living out a life of grace. One of the most valuable things we can do is to regularly think about all of our relationships, attitudes, words and actions from a filter of God's grace to us. Reading the gospels regularly helps us to capture the secrets of Jesus' grace to inform us of what it means to live a grace filled life.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Things Satan likes about the church
- When we keep everyone programmed up in church so they don't bother their friends or community with the gospel.
- When we have so many boards and committees that it takes forever to get anything done or decided.
- When we hire people to do ministry so that others don't get trained or released into meaningful ministry
- When we preach self help sermons that don't go to the heart of the Gospel
- When we water down the text to make it non-offensive
- When we focus on programming and numbers rather than Gospel impact
- When we spend so much on our facilities that we don't have much left over for mission outreach
- When we teach people how to be a good evangelicals rather than focus on real transformation of their hearts, thinking, priorities and relationships
- When we get wrapped up in conflict so that we are distracted from our real mission
- When we have no clearly defined mission so everyone is comfortable and no one is seriously pushing into Satan's territory
- When we convince lay people that they are not really qualified to do real ministry by our professionalization of ministry
- When we confuse bringing people to church for bringing people to Jesus
- Our church growth methodology of simply outperforming other local churches so that we grow by transfer not evangelism leaving Satan's territory relatively unscathed
- Our ineffective boards that make for ineffective ministry
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sages among us
Sage is almost synonymous with wisdom. Specifically, it is the wisdom that can only come with experience and a life lived long. In a day when we celebrate youth, we often miss what youth need more than anything else: the wisdom and counsel of those who have followed Jesus and gone the distance well.
When I listen to the life stories of sages I know I am always amazed at the experiences they have had, the lessons they learned along the way, how they overcame adversity and even how they live with the challenges of advanced age. One of my personal sage heroes died recently at 103. She was a woman full of wisdom, experience and deep faith.
One church I know has asked it's sages to share their stories, one each month, at length. They have recorded the sessions and are building a library of shared wisdom. More importantly, they are reminding the rest of the church that there are people among them who have withstood the test of time and whom we ought to honor and learn from.
The elderly in society are often marginalized as unimportant. In the church, these individuals ought to be honored: they are the examples to us of what it means to go the distance, stay the course and live out their faith over the long haul. Further, they have a wealth of wisdom that needs to be shared.
Does you congregation have a way to tap into the sages among you? Can we move from programs to keep our seniors happy to proactively seeing them as sages with something to teach the rest of us? Many of them are Hebrews 11 heroes who have walked the walk, talked the talk and gone the distance. Rather than marginalize them, we need to honor them.
When I listen to the life stories of sages I know I am always amazed at the experiences they have had, the lessons they learned along the way, how they overcame adversity and even how they live with the challenges of advanced age. One of my personal sage heroes died recently at 103. She was a woman full of wisdom, experience and deep faith.
One church I know has asked it's sages to share their stories, one each month, at length. They have recorded the sessions and are building a library of shared wisdom. More importantly, they are reminding the rest of the church that there are people among them who have withstood the test of time and whom we ought to honor and learn from.
The elderly in society are often marginalized as unimportant. In the church, these individuals ought to be honored: they are the examples to us of what it means to go the distance, stay the course and live out their faith over the long haul. Further, they have a wealth of wisdom that needs to be shared.
Does you congregation have a way to tap into the sages among you? Can we move from programs to keep our seniors happy to proactively seeing them as sages with something to teach the rest of us? Many of them are Hebrews 11 heroes who have walked the walk, talked the talk and gone the distance. Rather than marginalize them, we need to honor them.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Civil and uncivil discourse in the church
Many do not realize how much of our national culture we bring into our churches that is problematic. Take for instance, the divisions brought on by elections in the US. Our nation is sharply divided and divisive in how it deals with those divisions. And, we have developed a polarized, black and white mentality where one side is "right" and the other side is "wrong." In addition, the tone of the discourse is sharp and divisive by its very nature. One tires of people shouting at one another on news programs.
How often in the church we bring the same black and white mentality coupled with polarizing attitudes, demonizing of those we don't agree with and divisions within the congregation. In fact, conflict seems to go up in congregations during election seasons which is not a surprise given the divisive spirit in the nation at large.
However, if ever there should be a place where discourse is civil, reasonable and respectful it ought to be in the church where in God's Spirit we can disagree with one another in an agreeable way and never demonize others simply because we don't see eye to eye. Think of the Biblical teaching on being gentle and kind to one another, patient with one another, long suffering and self controlled. Quite different than the polarized attitudes in our culture at large.
Whenever the tone in the church becomes sharp and polarizing we need to be aware that it is secular culture behavior that is taking place rather than Jesus culture behavior. Whatever our differences, and whatever our positions, if ever there were a place where civil and respectful discourse should take place it should be in the church. This is why conflict in the church that results on division and divisiveness in unhealthy ways never reflects the character of Jesus but our society at large. Where it does take place, the biblical injunction is to forgive and seek to live at peace.
In addition, when it comes to politics, Jesus culture transcends our political differences and parties. Whenever I hear church leaders pushing a political agenda, party or candidate I know that for them Jesus does not yet transcend secular politics. There are Christ followers in all walks of life and political persuasion. At the work water cooler we debate politics. In the church we lift Jesus high. He is the hope of the world, not a political party. And for believers, being in the family of God transcends being in whatever political party we adhere to.
How often in the church we bring the same black and white mentality coupled with polarizing attitudes, demonizing of those we don't agree with and divisions within the congregation. In fact, conflict seems to go up in congregations during election seasons which is not a surprise given the divisive spirit in the nation at large.
However, if ever there should be a place where discourse is civil, reasonable and respectful it ought to be in the church where in God's Spirit we can disagree with one another in an agreeable way and never demonize others simply because we don't see eye to eye. Think of the Biblical teaching on being gentle and kind to one another, patient with one another, long suffering and self controlled. Quite different than the polarized attitudes in our culture at large.
Whenever the tone in the church becomes sharp and polarizing we need to be aware that it is secular culture behavior that is taking place rather than Jesus culture behavior. Whatever our differences, and whatever our positions, if ever there were a place where civil and respectful discourse should take place it should be in the church. This is why conflict in the church that results on division and divisiveness in unhealthy ways never reflects the character of Jesus but our society at large. Where it does take place, the biblical injunction is to forgive and seek to live at peace.
In addition, when it comes to politics, Jesus culture transcends our political differences and parties. Whenever I hear church leaders pushing a political agenda, party or candidate I know that for them Jesus does not yet transcend secular politics. There are Christ followers in all walks of life and political persuasion. At the work water cooler we debate politics. In the church we lift Jesus high. He is the hope of the world, not a political party. And for believers, being in the family of God transcends being in whatever political party we adhere to.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Jesus centered churches
I dream of a church where...
Jesus and the gospel He proclaimed is the center of everything. Jesus changes lives, and the gospel He proclaimed changes lives and communities as God's people live out their faith in all arenas of life. The Bible is not a self help book as practical as it is. It is the story of redemption - how the God of the universe came to change broken lives through forgiveness, new life, transformation and purpose in joining Him in His work. At the center of everything is Jesus who invites us to follow Him. I dream of a church where Jesus is the center of everything.
The transformation of the gospel in our lives is the goal of all we do. Transformation of our hearts where we understand and live out grace, transformation of our minds so we think like Jesus, transformation of our priorities so our live reflect the concerns of Jesus and transformation of our relationships so that we see people like Jesus sees them and love them like Jesus loves them. Transformation is not a set of rules and regulations but cooperating with the Holy Spirit to see these four areas that make up our lives resonate with Jesus. I dream of a church where becoming like Jesus is the overriding goal.
Success is defined by spiritual transformation and not by numbers, size, facilities and programs. Too many churches are chasing the wrong dream - size, facilities and programs when the Biblical definition of success is spiritual transformation of people who live, grow and minister in community (Ephesians). I dream of a church where success is not defined by the metrics of the world but by the life change Jesus wants to bring.
We are outward focused rather than inward focused. Jesus went to where the people who needed him were while we often hope they will come to us at our church. If you look at the typical church programming we are so scheduled with church activities that we have little time to develop relationships with those who need Jesus let alone to get involved in meaningful ways in their lives. I dream of a church where intentional involvement with those who don't know Jesus is the norm not the exception.
Grace and love reign supreme. Each of us who knows Jesus is in His family because he extended His amazing grace to us when we did not deserve it and He loved us with an everlasting love. If He did that for us, we need to do that for one another and for those who don't yet know Him. I dream of a church where His love, acceptance and grace is extended to all and is the magnet that draws people to Jesus.
God's truth is proclaimed in its fullness. God's Word contains all that we need for a life of godliness but it must be taught in its entirety - those parts that we love and those parts that are hard and inconvenient for us to confront. Jesus gladly forgives our sin but also calls us to obedience and followership. He freely gives us grace but tells us not to use that grace as an excuse to sin. The Pentateuch gives us a foundation for a moral and upright life, the historical books examples of people who did or did not follow God, the books of wisdom proclaim the fear of the Lord, the prophets, the heart of God, the Gospels the centrality of Jesus and the epistles the guidance for holy living. I dream of a church that boldly proclaims His truth in its fullness so that we are thoroughly equipped for a life of godliness.
Transparency and authenticity are the rule rather than the exception. Christians are broken sinners, saved by grace who still struggle with all the issues that make up the human condition living in a fallen world. Yet the church is often the last place that we are able to be authentic and transparent about our struggles. I dream of a church where authenticity is celebrated and through transparency we are able to experience and give grace and spur one another on to faithful followership of Jesus.
Our communities are directly impacted by the gospel. Jesus did not come just to change individual hearts. His gospel is designed to have a profound impact on society through the influence of His followers as they live out their faith in their circles of influence, neighborhoods and workplaces. Jesus Himself asked us to pray that His will would be done on earth as it is done in heaven. I dream of a church that takes seriously His call to be salt and light in their community and influence their community with the love, righteousness and grace of Jesus.
All people are equally loved, cared for, appreciated and ministered to. Jesus loved all and He had special compassion and love for those whom the rest of society spurned whether wealthy tax collectors, beggars, the poor, the lame and sick or prostitutes. All were welcome at his table, in His crowd and in His family. We cannot live out the life of Jesus or His gospel without caring about all people, not simply the ones who we are comfortable with. I dream of a church that goes out of its way to find and minister to the marginalized in society.
The reputation of Jesus is always lifted high. Congregations, like people, either lift high the reputation of Jesus or drag Him down to our level in the minds of others through our behavior, love or lack of it, grace or lack of it. Fighting and bickering congregations hurt the reputation of Jesus while those who live in unity, even in the hard times, lift it up. I dream of a church that places His name and reputation higher than its own wants and desires and always chooses behaviors that will lift Jesus high.
And you, what do you dream for the church?
Jesus and the gospel He proclaimed is the center of everything. Jesus changes lives, and the gospel He proclaimed changes lives and communities as God's people live out their faith in all arenas of life. The Bible is not a self help book as practical as it is. It is the story of redemption - how the God of the universe came to change broken lives through forgiveness, new life, transformation and purpose in joining Him in His work. At the center of everything is Jesus who invites us to follow Him. I dream of a church where Jesus is the center of everything.
The transformation of the gospel in our lives is the goal of all we do. Transformation of our hearts where we understand and live out grace, transformation of our minds so we think like Jesus, transformation of our priorities so our live reflect the concerns of Jesus and transformation of our relationships so that we see people like Jesus sees them and love them like Jesus loves them. Transformation is not a set of rules and regulations but cooperating with the Holy Spirit to see these four areas that make up our lives resonate with Jesus. I dream of a church where becoming like Jesus is the overriding goal.
Success is defined by spiritual transformation and not by numbers, size, facilities and programs. Too many churches are chasing the wrong dream - size, facilities and programs when the Biblical definition of success is spiritual transformation of people who live, grow and minister in community (Ephesians). I dream of a church where success is not defined by the metrics of the world but by the life change Jesus wants to bring.
We are outward focused rather than inward focused. Jesus went to where the people who needed him were while we often hope they will come to us at our church. If you look at the typical church programming we are so scheduled with church activities that we have little time to develop relationships with those who need Jesus let alone to get involved in meaningful ways in their lives. I dream of a church where intentional involvement with those who don't know Jesus is the norm not the exception.
Grace and love reign supreme. Each of us who knows Jesus is in His family because he extended His amazing grace to us when we did not deserve it and He loved us with an everlasting love. If He did that for us, we need to do that for one another and for those who don't yet know Him. I dream of a church where His love, acceptance and grace is extended to all and is the magnet that draws people to Jesus.
God's truth is proclaimed in its fullness. God's Word contains all that we need for a life of godliness but it must be taught in its entirety - those parts that we love and those parts that are hard and inconvenient for us to confront. Jesus gladly forgives our sin but also calls us to obedience and followership. He freely gives us grace but tells us not to use that grace as an excuse to sin. The Pentateuch gives us a foundation for a moral and upright life, the historical books examples of people who did or did not follow God, the books of wisdom proclaim the fear of the Lord, the prophets, the heart of God, the Gospels the centrality of Jesus and the epistles the guidance for holy living. I dream of a church that boldly proclaims His truth in its fullness so that we are thoroughly equipped for a life of godliness.
Transparency and authenticity are the rule rather than the exception. Christians are broken sinners, saved by grace who still struggle with all the issues that make up the human condition living in a fallen world. Yet the church is often the last place that we are able to be authentic and transparent about our struggles. I dream of a church where authenticity is celebrated and through transparency we are able to experience and give grace and spur one another on to faithful followership of Jesus.
Our communities are directly impacted by the gospel. Jesus did not come just to change individual hearts. His gospel is designed to have a profound impact on society through the influence of His followers as they live out their faith in their circles of influence, neighborhoods and workplaces. Jesus Himself asked us to pray that His will would be done on earth as it is done in heaven. I dream of a church that takes seriously His call to be salt and light in their community and influence their community with the love, righteousness and grace of Jesus.
All people are equally loved, cared for, appreciated and ministered to. Jesus loved all and He had special compassion and love for those whom the rest of society spurned whether wealthy tax collectors, beggars, the poor, the lame and sick or prostitutes. All were welcome at his table, in His crowd and in His family. We cannot live out the life of Jesus or His gospel without caring about all people, not simply the ones who we are comfortable with. I dream of a church that goes out of its way to find and minister to the marginalized in society.
The reputation of Jesus is always lifted high. Congregations, like people, either lift high the reputation of Jesus or drag Him down to our level in the minds of others through our behavior, love or lack of it, grace or lack of it. Fighting and bickering congregations hurt the reputation of Jesus while those who live in unity, even in the hard times, lift it up. I dream of a church that places His name and reputation higher than its own wants and desires and always chooses behaviors that will lift Jesus high.
And you, what do you dream for the church?
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Church conflict, christian character and the reputation of Jesus
Church conflict inevitably happens since their populations are made up of "flawed saints." I am currently involved in consulting with a number of congregations walking through conflict and the thing that grabs my attention time after time is that those who claim to love Jesus are quick to damage His bride - the church - when they don't get their way in the church. Here is the irony: many are willing to trash, divide, hurt and engage in unholy conduct in the church (Jesus' most precious possession) and yet claim to love the Lord of the church. It is not compatible, it does not compute and God is not pleased!
I am not saying that important issues in the church must sometimes be addressed, even when it makes others unhappy. However, when our actions, words, attitudes and conduct violates what Jesus has to say about those issues, we have crossed a line into sin. Our cause may be righteous but if our conduct is sinful we are in the wrong and the loser is the church and the reputation of Jesus. Spiritual issues must be dealt with in spiritual ways. When they are not we have crossed a dangerous line.
Many of us have an inadequate view of the place and theology of the church in God's plan. According to Scripture, the church is the bride of Christ. He has placed His whole plan for the salvation of the world at the feet of the church as His chosen instrument to reach the world. Further, He loves the church and members of the church are members of "His body." As His bride, His reputation is wrapped up in the conduct of the church. Trash the church and you trash His reputation. Divide the church and you divide His body. Be careless about preserving the unity of the church and you are playing careless about His bride.
Think about this: if someone violated your children or tried to destroy or hurt your family you would hold them responsible for the damage they inflicted. Why do we think Jesus is any less grieved and angry when people are careless about their conduct in the church that results in damage to His family? And to make it worse, it is members of His family hurting His family! To top it off, it is people He redeemed who are hurting others who He redeemed.
The reputation of Jesus is either lifted up or brought down by the conduct of His church. One of the greatest proofs of His transformation in our lives is our ability to disagree with one another while continuing to love one another and refusing to hurt each other in the process. Acts 15 and the council of Jerusalem gives us a good example of Christian leaders working out disagreements while retaining their Godly character. There was robust dialogue which resulted in conflict being resolved in a godly way. However, when our disagreements result in sinful behavior toward one another we are not only trashing each other but we are trashing our Lord - strong words but true.
When dealing with conflict in the church we ought to ask several key questions:
One: How do we address the issue without hurting the bride?
Two: Does my conduct in any way move away from the christian character I have been called to?
Three: What other Godly individuals can we call in to help us negotiate our issues when we come to an impasse or are we afraid of accountability?
Four: Are we together living out the teaching of Philippians 2:1-5, along with the example of Christ?
Five: Am I coming at this issue from a spirit of humility or pride?
Six: Do I have bitterness and anger in my heart toward anyone on the other side?
Any church engaged in conflict needs to think deeply about these words of Paul. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5)."
I am not saying that important issues in the church must sometimes be addressed, even when it makes others unhappy. However, when our actions, words, attitudes and conduct violates what Jesus has to say about those issues, we have crossed a line into sin. Our cause may be righteous but if our conduct is sinful we are in the wrong and the loser is the church and the reputation of Jesus. Spiritual issues must be dealt with in spiritual ways. When they are not we have crossed a dangerous line.
Many of us have an inadequate view of the place and theology of the church in God's plan. According to Scripture, the church is the bride of Christ. He has placed His whole plan for the salvation of the world at the feet of the church as His chosen instrument to reach the world. Further, He loves the church and members of the church are members of "His body." As His bride, His reputation is wrapped up in the conduct of the church. Trash the church and you trash His reputation. Divide the church and you divide His body. Be careless about preserving the unity of the church and you are playing careless about His bride.
Think about this: if someone violated your children or tried to destroy or hurt your family you would hold them responsible for the damage they inflicted. Why do we think Jesus is any less grieved and angry when people are careless about their conduct in the church that results in damage to His family? And to make it worse, it is members of His family hurting His family! To top it off, it is people He redeemed who are hurting others who He redeemed.
The reputation of Jesus is either lifted up or brought down by the conduct of His church. One of the greatest proofs of His transformation in our lives is our ability to disagree with one another while continuing to love one another and refusing to hurt each other in the process. Acts 15 and the council of Jerusalem gives us a good example of Christian leaders working out disagreements while retaining their Godly character. There was robust dialogue which resulted in conflict being resolved in a godly way. However, when our disagreements result in sinful behavior toward one another we are not only trashing each other but we are trashing our Lord - strong words but true.
When dealing with conflict in the church we ought to ask several key questions:
One: How do we address the issue without hurting the bride?
Two: Does my conduct in any way move away from the christian character I have been called to?
Three: What other Godly individuals can we call in to help us negotiate our issues when we come to an impasse or are we afraid of accountability?
Four: Are we together living out the teaching of Philippians 2:1-5, along with the example of Christ?
Five: Am I coming at this issue from a spirit of humility or pride?
Six: Do I have bitterness and anger in my heart toward anyone on the other side?
Any church engaged in conflict needs to think deeply about these words of Paul. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5)."
Thursday, October 27, 2011
What is your street corner?
What is your street corner?
That is the question one church in Grand Rapids asks each of its people. They are intentionally downplaying what happens at the church except on Sundays and raising the level of awareness of each one's responsibility to develop relationships with people who are in their circle of acquaintances - their street corner.
It can be our neighborhood, our colleagues at work, our work out buddies, study group, book reading club - whoever we have relationships and favor with is our street corner. And the question is, what are we intentionally doing to develop relationships and share what Jesus has done in our lives on our street corner. It is a simple and powerful metaphor.
Mary Ann and I were thinking last night of all the people who we have had meaningful relationships with in our neighborhood over the past 23 years. It has been a significant street corner for us, as has been her work in years past at a local high school. We also have a street corner at our favorite restaurant where we know almost all the wait staff and personnel.
Really it is a matter of opening our eyes to those God has put in our circle of friends, being intentional about those friendships, praying for them regularly and looking for opportunities to share. The number of street corners in your church is the number of people you have, a lot of them. Are they hanging out on their street corners?
That is the question one church in Grand Rapids asks each of its people. They are intentionally downplaying what happens at the church except on Sundays and raising the level of awareness of each one's responsibility to develop relationships with people who are in their circle of acquaintances - their street corner.
It can be our neighborhood, our colleagues at work, our work out buddies, study group, book reading club - whoever we have relationships and favor with is our street corner. And the question is, what are we intentionally doing to develop relationships and share what Jesus has done in our lives on our street corner. It is a simple and powerful metaphor.
Mary Ann and I were thinking last night of all the people who we have had meaningful relationships with in our neighborhood over the past 23 years. It has been a significant street corner for us, as has been her work in years past at a local high school. We also have a street corner at our favorite restaurant where we know almost all the wait staff and personnel.
Really it is a matter of opening our eyes to those God has put in our circle of friends, being intentional about those friendships, praying for them regularly and looking for opportunities to share. The number of street corners in your church is the number of people you have, a lot of them. Are they hanging out on their street corners?
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
One intentional act of kindness in Jesus name
What would happen if we challenged our congregations to engage in one act of kindness in Jesus' name every week? Just one intentional act toward a friend, neighbor, co-worker or even stranger they come across? One act of kindness where we go out of our way to extend grace, help, give a kind word, pray with them, write a note of encouragement, walk across the street to engage a neighbor in conversation, provide a needed meal or meet a need. One intentional act of kindness in Jesus' name.
It sounds inconsequential but we can wrap our heads around one intentional act of kindness a week - where we go out of our way to meet a need. And, we start looking for that opportunity and who knows, maybe a mindset would set in that we could even do this more often. Multiply that one intentional act by 52 weeeks and the number of folks in our congregation and all of a sudden one has critical mass.
Our lives are busy and our weeks are often packed with more activities than we can stuff into them. Committing to just one intentional act of kindness toward others in the course of our week starts to raise our awareness of the needs of others and the opportunities we have to minister to them. It may also change our mindset over time and if a whole congregation did it together and shared their experiences it would be powerful.
Think about it for your life, or your church. One intentional act of kindness each week in Jesus' name. Just one. Soon you won't settle for only one!
It sounds inconsequential but we can wrap our heads around one intentional act of kindness a week - where we go out of our way to meet a need. And, we start looking for that opportunity and who knows, maybe a mindset would set in that we could even do this more often. Multiply that one intentional act by 52 weeeks and the number of folks in our congregation and all of a sudden one has critical mass.
Our lives are busy and our weeks are often packed with more activities than we can stuff into them. Committing to just one intentional act of kindness toward others in the course of our week starts to raise our awareness of the needs of others and the opportunities we have to minister to them. It may also change our mindset over time and if a whole congregation did it together and shared their experiences it would be powerful.
Think about it for your life, or your church. One intentional act of kindness each week in Jesus' name. Just one. Soon you won't settle for only one!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Don't get caught in the church numbers game
What spells success for a local church? For many pastors the answer is how many attend their church. I drove by a Unitarian church with a full parking lot on Sunday. By our common definition of success they had achieved it - or the Mormon temple two blocks from my house that draws a full crowd. Seen in that light we realize that numbers are not everything and sometimes are nothing when it comes to success.
In fact, numbers may be the worst definition of success for churches and pastors. Churches do not grow indefinitely. Many pastors are not equipped to lead a large church but are wonderfully equipped to lead a small or medium size church. All of us have a leadership ceiling and internal wiring that defines the size of an organization we can effectively lead. Since God gave us that wiring we have to assume He is pretty happy with it and so should we be. One of my ministry buddies is a great preacher and the quintessential shepherd pastor. He pastors a church of around 250 and is wonderfully fulfilled in that role. His lane is not a church of 500 or larger where he would be frankly miserable. He is fulfilling his God given calling in a smaller church.
Further, the focus on numbers can easily cause us to move away from a full presentation of the gospel to embrace an attractional model of church where the goal is to attract as many people as possible and in the process to water down the emphasis on disciple making which actually demands something from those who come. There are plenty of large churches full of untransformed people which is not a New Testament definition of success. And remember that most church growth in the United States is not about new conversions but simply about people transferring from one church to another. How does that spell success?
We should also remember that many people are not enamored by large churches. They prefer a family size church where it is easier to know others, plug in and where relationships are easier to build. There are far more avenues of direct involvement possible in smaller churches than in large churches.
What we ought to really be focused on is not numbers but helping our congregation experience true spiritual transformation: Hearts transformed by grace; thinking transformed by God's word; priorities transformed to align with His word and relationships transformed by His love. Pastors often say to me, "I don't know how to do the vision thing." My answer is that ninety percent of vision in the church is simply helping people live out the Gospel in their lives, their homes, their neighborhoods and their places of work. This is true in a large church or a small church. Size is not an indicator of success - transformed people are.
Can small churches grow? Often they do so by church planting. They may not desire to grow significantly in numbers as a congregation but all churches can grow by multiplying themselves in church planting. And there will indeed be conversion growth for any body that is focused on spiritual transformation. Get the focus right and true spiritual fruit happens - John 15.
There are always reasons for church size - a complex set of variables that we cannot address in full here. But I would say to any pastor, the measure of your success is not in your attendance numbers as much as it is in the transformation that is taking place among your people. Even in the New Testament there were huge churches and tiny house churches and all kinds in between. While God's people grew in numbers there were still all sizes of churches and there is no reference as to numbers being the sign of success for any of them. Transformation was a sign as well as ministry engagement - see Ephesians. People coming to Christ was a sign - see the book of Acts. But church size was not.
Rather than getting caught in the numbers game, we all ought to be focused on transformed lives which leads to new people coming to Christ. And, be who you are made to be as a church whether a small neighborhood church or a mega church. The numbers don't tell the story, Gospel engagement does.
In fact, numbers may be the worst definition of success for churches and pastors. Churches do not grow indefinitely. Many pastors are not equipped to lead a large church but are wonderfully equipped to lead a small or medium size church. All of us have a leadership ceiling and internal wiring that defines the size of an organization we can effectively lead. Since God gave us that wiring we have to assume He is pretty happy with it and so should we be. One of my ministry buddies is a great preacher and the quintessential shepherd pastor. He pastors a church of around 250 and is wonderfully fulfilled in that role. His lane is not a church of 500 or larger where he would be frankly miserable. He is fulfilling his God given calling in a smaller church.
Further, the focus on numbers can easily cause us to move away from a full presentation of the gospel to embrace an attractional model of church where the goal is to attract as many people as possible and in the process to water down the emphasis on disciple making which actually demands something from those who come. There are plenty of large churches full of untransformed people which is not a New Testament definition of success. And remember that most church growth in the United States is not about new conversions but simply about people transferring from one church to another. How does that spell success?
We should also remember that many people are not enamored by large churches. They prefer a family size church where it is easier to know others, plug in and where relationships are easier to build. There are far more avenues of direct involvement possible in smaller churches than in large churches.
What we ought to really be focused on is not numbers but helping our congregation experience true spiritual transformation: Hearts transformed by grace; thinking transformed by God's word; priorities transformed to align with His word and relationships transformed by His love. Pastors often say to me, "I don't know how to do the vision thing." My answer is that ninety percent of vision in the church is simply helping people live out the Gospel in their lives, their homes, their neighborhoods and their places of work. This is true in a large church or a small church. Size is not an indicator of success - transformed people are.
Can small churches grow? Often they do so by church planting. They may not desire to grow significantly in numbers as a congregation but all churches can grow by multiplying themselves in church planting. And there will indeed be conversion growth for any body that is focused on spiritual transformation. Get the focus right and true spiritual fruit happens - John 15.
There are always reasons for church size - a complex set of variables that we cannot address in full here. But I would say to any pastor, the measure of your success is not in your attendance numbers as much as it is in the transformation that is taking place among your people. Even in the New Testament there were huge churches and tiny house churches and all kinds in between. While God's people grew in numbers there were still all sizes of churches and there is no reference as to numbers being the sign of success for any of them. Transformation was a sign as well as ministry engagement - see Ephesians. People coming to Christ was a sign - see the book of Acts. But church size was not.
Rather than getting caught in the numbers game, we all ought to be focused on transformed lives which leads to new people coming to Christ. And, be who you are made to be as a church whether a small neighborhood church or a mega church. The numbers don't tell the story, Gospel engagement does.
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