Reading Scripture for the first time

It is amazing to me how much the “enlightenment” and the rise of “rational thinking” has impacted our reading of Scripture. What we call the enlightenment coming out of the dark ages had many advantages, allowing scientists, for instance to test their theories and come to grips with the real workings of our cosmos.

But it had other consequences as well. In a rational world, God does not break in and do the unexpected – yet any reading of the Bible shows that He indeed does. The rational world would believe that God operates according to a set of predictable rules. Yet how predictable is a God who comes to earth in the form of a baby, lives in squalid Nazareth and dies on a cross to pay for our sin of rebellion against Him? What sense does that make? It is so irrational that many refuse to believe. And a virgin birth on top of it!

Read Scripture to a child and they get it. They believe it. They devour it. They are mesmerized by the stories of an unpredictable God who is at once tame, fierce, predictable, unpredictable, doing the miraculous and surprising people at every turn. They have not yet been tainted by rational thinking that seeks to tame the untamable Aslan. 

Then listen to many messages from the “grown ups” including many pastors which turn the unpredictable into the predictable and find ways to deny the very power of God to break in and do what we don’t expect him to do. We tame God with our theology and make him fit our rationale box. Especially we tame the Holy Spirit because He is scary in his unpredictability so defining what He can and cannot do is paramount: especially if you want Him to fit your theological system.

God is not tamable. He is so far beyond our grasp and our understanding. If the edge of the known cosmos is 13 billion light-years away, he is infinitely further from that in our understanding of Him. What is amazing is that he still knows when a sparrow dies, Still intervenes in the lives of all who call Him Lord.

Still He surprises us daily with His grace. Demons are still cast out in His name, people healed miraculously in His name, lives changed dramatically in His name, the forces of evil in the universe pushed back in His name. Yet He acts according to His sovereign purposes and will surprising us with his timing and His wisdom which is beyond our understanding.

If we could reclaim the ability to read Scripture through the eyes of a child, unencumbered with our finely tuned theological systems (yes they have their place but they can also limit us) we might be surprised at the God we find. He would be more personal, more difficult to pin down, more powerful, more unpredictable in His intervention in human affairs and we would be more ready to see His surprises in our lives.

Some theologians will push back and say, "but we have 2,000 years of biblical interpretation since Jesus that needs to be kept in mind when we read the text." I agree that we have many insights from those who have gone before us. I also believe that we are often held hostage by the theological grids that we have been taught that keep us from seeing God in his full Glory. No theological system is perfect and many have significant deficiencies. What happened at taking Scripture at face value? 

Try reading the Bible as if you were reading it for the first time.  

Shallow CliffsNotes Christianity

As I survey the contemporary evangelical church today in the west I would often characterize it as shallow, lacking in substance, Christianity light and easy grace. In some cases, there is not much difference between a self help seminar (think Tony Robins) and what is shared in the name of God’s word from the pulpit – as if the Scriptures are primarily a self help manual that if followed will bring us prosperity and health. Certainly it should not get too personal or interfere with our lives.

Some will think this too critical and I don’t desire to be an angry modern day prophet who throws stones. And, I am sure based on past history that I will lose some Twitter followers over this blog. That being said, here are some of the things we don’t see among many western evangelicals that lead me to my conclusion.

One: suffering seems to be a lost subject and we are surprised when it surfaces in our lives. When it does it often causes Western believers to question the goodness of God and leads many to bitterness and doubt. Yet, Jesus made it abundantly clear that the way of the cross is the way of suffering. What does it mean when He says, “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23).” A cross is, by definition the metaphor for suffering and Jesus says it is a daily occurrence for those who follow Him. The Apostle Paul talked with emotion about sharing in the fellowship of His sufferings.

Two: Western believers as a group are, (how do I say it?), stingy with God. The average evangelical gives something like two percent of their income back to Him. Now, in case you think I have gone legalistic here, bear with me a moment. It is not about legalism but about value. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16).

I believe that we have so cheaply sold what God did on our behalf, even though He gave His only son – to become sin for us so that we could know Him who knew no sin – and be justified through His righteousness and death on our behalf that our gratitude is shallow and our response is cheap. Second Corinthians 8 and 9 speak of giving as a direct response to His grace. If that is so our giving does not reflect much value toward His amazing grace but is often pocket change tossed into His hat on occasion. We simply don’t value His gift to us very much as evidenced by our response.

Three: American evangelicalism has very little to say about sin. OK, I don’t like the subject much either but Scripture has a lot to say about it in relation to a Holy God. The Scriptures talk about sin on 1365 occasions. But mostly this gets lost in the CliffsNotes version of Evangelicalism. After all you have to cut somewhere and this is most convenient place to do it.

Except, that without an understanding of my depravity I cannot understand God’s grace. Why did the woman in John 12:3 use all of her saving to pour pure nard on the feet of Jesus and then wipe them clean with her hair? She understood her sin and therefore the amazing grace that Jesus had blessed her with. Her desire to follow was directly connected with the grace she had been given and her acute awareness of her fallen condition. A sinless Christianity is a cheap parody of the true human condition – even those who know and follow Jesus. Paul described himself as the chief of sinners and that was toward the end of his life. It is what drove him to live in God’s grace on a daily basis.

Four: We are far more consumed with our, lives, careers, pleasures and interests than we are with joining God in His work in our world. Some of the blame here can be laid at the door of the church that has defined ministry as what happens inside its four walls with its programs. Thus, I minister when I bow to the church’s agenda and fill needed spots in their programs. But what ever happened to ministry being with the people I work with and live with or who hang out at the local tavern? Where was Jesus found most of the time?

That being said, in general, we are so consumed with our agendas that we lose sight of God’s agenda – which requires that we read His book, another lost art (I am heartened by the Eat This Book challenge that has thousands of believers reading through the Bible this year). When our life agenda takes precedence over God’s agenda we have reimaged God after our own image.

Five: American Evangelicals don’t truly believe that lost people are lost for eternity apart from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We are more likely to share our latest weight loss plan than we are Jesus. Losing weight has its place, and I am vigorously pursuing that, but the Gospel is good news for time and eternity. If we do believe that lost people are truly lost apart from Jesus, we assume that it is the church’s responsibility to share the news not us.

When I tell my wife I love her but don’t demonstrate that love she knows my words are shallow and lack sincerity. When we tell God we love Him but don’t walk the walk of our talk we are guilty of shallow Christianity. What do you think when you consider the Western version of evangelicalism? There are wonderful exceptions of course but I fear that our version of Christianity is often far more cultural than it is Biblical.

Having written this, I am of course obliged to consider each of these five areas in light of my own life and practice: irritating but instructive. Come to think of it, maybe I’ll unsubscribe me from Twitter as well. I don’t like being uncomfortable any more than others.

The test of a leader's humility and openness

Both in my consulting role and my organizational leadership role I work with team leaders and their direct reports. One of the things I am always looking for is how honest, candid, direct and transparent team members can be with their leader. It is a barometer of several things: the health of the senior leader; the health of the team and the health of the organization as a whole.

How is this a barometer of the leader? Let's be candid. The only reason that certain issues cannot be discussed with freedom with a leader, whether in a group setting or one on one is that the leader's insecurities prevent it. To the extent that I as a leader am unwilling to hear candid feedback from others on any topic, the gaps in my own emotional intelligence are showing. Obviously I have something to lose by discussing the issue or have something to prove by being right on the issue. 

Leaders set the culture of openness or lack of it for their team. In our organization we have a stated goal that there are no elephants that cannot be named (elephants are issues that people are afraid to bring up). Once named it is not an elephant anymore but simply an issue to be discussed and resolved. We also operate by a motto of "nothing to prove and nothing to lose." If I have nothing to prove or lose I am free to hear whatever my team wants to discuss without needing to be defensive or right.

How is the the barometer of the health of a team? Very simply, when a team cannot engage in robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table with the exception of personal attacks and hidden agendas, it cannot maximize its effectiveness. This is because it is often the topics that are off limits are the very topics that must be resolved if the ministry is going to be all that it can be. Every issue that cannot be discussed is an issue that will hold the ministry back in some area. 

I suggest that teams operate by a team covenant which spells out how they operate with one another, the ability to be candid and define the culture by which they will operate. Healthy teams deliver healthy ministry.

It should be obvious by now how this is a barometer of an organization as a whole: Healthy organizations are open, candid and humble organizations who are always looking to improve their return on mission and invite their staff to help figure that out. Closed organizations are fearful organizations. Open organizations are free and therefore invite the best from their staff in ideas, dialogue, feedback, innovation and synergy.

How well are you doing in the area of humility and openness. Can you talk about it as a team?

The value of outside input into our ministries

This week I spent four days with key staff and an outside consultant probing areas of necessary growth and development for our organization. As one who does a fair amount of consulting I know the value of an outside voice that asks good questions, challenges the status quo and can help a ministry team think outside their usual parameters. They also bring the dimension of knowledge of what others are doing.


Too often in ministry we isolate ourselves out of fear (what if others discover what I don't know) or out of hubris (we don't need outside help). In either case we and our ministry loses. Humility and a commitment to learn is the attitude of healthy leaders and  they welcome the voices of others who can challenge prevailing thinking, ask the hard why questions, clarify issues that are not truly clear and help develop new ways of thinking, new tools for success and in doing so bring new insights to the table.


A consultant can be a fellow pastor or ministry leader that you respect and who has obvious expertise. It can be someone who you pay for their services. In my case, it is someone who normally consults for large businesses  in lean manufacturing and lean management who is helping us with what we call a Ministry Excellence initiative. We pay the going rate for his services and have over the past two years of relationship benefited immensely.


Humble leaders and organizations are committed to continuous learning, regular evaluation, ministry results, clarity of purpose, healthy teams and culture - all for the sake of seeing a maximum return on mission for Jesus and the mission He has called us to. 


To those who have never had an outside voice speak into your ministry I would say, overcome your fear or pride and try it. You will be surprised by the insights you gain and the ideas that are generated. All of us get stuck in our own ruts, habits, and assumptions. An outside voice can help you find new paths.

Game changing attitudes

I often encourage ministries that I consult with to look for the game changers that bring major ministry breakthroughs rather than a tweak to the system. We are constantly on the lookout for those in our ministry. What we often don't think about are the game changers we can initiate ourselves - in our attitudes - which can change the whole equation of our lives and impact the people around us. These game changing attitudes come right out of our relationship with God, the work of the Holy Spirit and us.


The game changer of living in God's sovereignty.
All of us face challenges that bring anxiety, uncertainty, and sometimes fear. The reason that they are so threatening to us is that unlike other circumstances, there is nothing we can do about these ones. They are beyond our control and therefor our ability to sway their outcome.


Unless....we choose to live with the dynamic truth that as His children, God is sovereign over all the events of our lives and He can be trusted to meet our needs, intervene on our behalf and be present in the midst of our circumstances. Read Romans 8 for confirmation on this. Those who choose to live in the reality of God's sovereignty over our lives and circumstances experience great peace because they have chosen to leave in God's hands what belongs in God's hands.


The game changer of choosing to live with joy.
One of the fruits of the Spirit, Joy is a powerful antidote to all of the pessimistic talk we encounter, the complaints that so many have and the tendency to look at life from a human rather than a divine perspective. 


As one of the signature traits of the Holy Spirit, joy is accessible to all of God's people in spite of their circumstances. It is rooted in the sovereignty and goodness of God who promises to meet our needs and to be present in all of our circumstances. Joy comes from faith in our God. The harder it is for us to choose joy over sadness, the greater its impact on our hearts for we have chosen the route of faith and trust rather than that of doubt and discouragement.


The game changer of choosing to live with kindness.
Another one of the Spirit's signature traits and one that touches every relationship that we encounter on a daily basis. We live in a harsh world where people dismiss others easily, treat them according to their mood, speak words that diminish and wound and perhaps worst of all, use people rather than love people.


When we choose to live with an attitude of kindness we produce all sorts of ripples because we are bringing God's love and kindness into each interaction. It changes everything. Kind people are purveyors of God's love and grace and magnets to those who come into contact with them, craving the acceptance inherent in kindness.


All of the fruit of the Spirit are game changing attitudes: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, goodness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). Each one changes our outlook on life in a major way and impacts how we interact with every individual during our day. They are truly game changers that we can choose in the power of the Holy Spirit to appropriate and live out every day in every situation. They don't tweak anything. They change everything.

Meaningful reference checks for potential hires

Any of us who lead teams or organizations need to do reference checks from time to time as we bring on new staff. For most, one of the last steps is that of checking references but too often we don't take this step as seriously as we ought to. In fact, in two instances in recent years, two of my staff members were hired away by others without talking to those who could have given them candid feedback. In both of these cases, it was not a good fit for the other organization. Had they asked we could have saved them some pain as the issues were known to us.


In looking for references we ought to look for people who know the candidate well, works or has worked with them and who can give objective feedback rather than simply give their friend a thumbs up. The more one trusts the one giving feedback the more confidence one has in the information shared.


A word of caution when checking references for a potential hire. When one gets to the reference stage we are usually very much wanting the hire to go through. Thus we can be tempted to gloss over concerns we hear in our desire to fill the position. All of us, however, are made up of strengths, weaknesses, along with a dark side. Knowing the most about your potential hire, positive and negative will give you the best means to both evaluate the hire and to manage the individual once hired.


Asking the right questions in order to elicit the information you need is critical. Here are some of the questions that I have often used


I will share the position the potential hire will fill and then ask, "where do you see this as a fit and where might there not be a fit given what you have observed over the years?"


Would you hire or rehire this person?


Would you want to work for this person? Why?


How would you describe the strengths and weaknesses of this individual? What would you describe as their dark side?


How have you seen this individual negotiate conflict or differences of opinion?


How would you describe their leadership style? 


In group settings, what role do they play? Are they better working collaboratively with others or doing work by themselves?


What can you tell me about the health of this individuals family relationships?


What personal or professional growth have you seen in this individual in the past five years?


This individuals largest challenge in this role will be....?


Would you describe this individual as:
          Defensive or non defensive
          Open about themselves or closed
          Easily angered or almost never angered
          Optimistic or pessimistic
          Self aware or unaware
          Well liked or not well liked
          Disciplined or scattered
          Empathetic or unempathetic
          Collaborative or non-collaborative
          Authoritarian or collegial in relationships
          Patient or impatient
          Gracious or lacking grace
          Diplomatic or undiplomatic
          Flexible or non-flexible
          Controllers or empowerers


Are there any questions you think I should have asked but didn't?


Do you have any red flags that I should know of?


What is the strongest reason you think I should hire this individual for this role?
           

What makes for a healthy team?

The word "team" elicits various responses depending on whether we have served on truly healthy and synergistic teams. At its most basic level, there are four elements to a strong and healthy team. Minus any one of these four and the team will not be healthy, nor a joy to serve on.

Healthy Leaders
Good leadership is a function of healthy individuals who are committed to develop, empower and release their team members. Health includes good Emotional Intelligence (EQ), a commitment to develop their people and to release them in meaningful ministry - empowerment within clear boundaries. Healthy leaders stay connected with their team, remove barriers for them, ensure that there is synergistic work taking place, develop their staff and ensure that the team is focused on the right things.

Right People
Teams are made up of the right people (right people, right seat) where the chemistry of gifts, talents, and personalities come together to accomplish the mission of the team. This results in cooperation, synergy, effectiveness, productivity and unity. The true payoff comes from staff who are energized and fulfilled in their  work. It takes just one wrong person on a team to create chaos or lack of unity and effectiveness. 

Missional Clarity
Healthy and strong teams have unity around a clear vision, purpose and strategy. They are all on the same page, know where they are going and how they intend to get there. There is a clear direction to their work and while team members may be doing many different things, they are all focused on the same missional goal. The missional agenda is the north star of all that they do. This is the opposite of everyone doing what is right in their own eyes.

Healthy Environment
Healthy team environment creates an atmosphere that maximizes creative endeavor. This is a culture where fresh ideas can be put on the table, there is the ability to disagree and engage in the conflict of ideas, best practices can be explored and there is an enjoyable, collegial atmosphere of trust and cooperation. 

If you lead a team or serve on a team, which of these characterizes your team and where do you need to become stronger and healthier? Create health in all four areas and you have team glue that is strong and enduring. To go deeper in developing healthy teams, Leading From The Sandbox: How to Develop, Empower and Release High-Impact Ministry Teams can help.

Three keys to people development

The development of staff is one of the most important responsibilities of leaders at all levels. That development involves three important skills.

Critical analysis
This is the ability to evaluate staff members and identify areas of strength, weakness, EQ (Emotional Intelligence) health and areas where EQ growth is needed. In addition, evaluation of how they interact with others, lead others, respond, do team, and ability to produce results are all important factors. Critical analysis is not about being critical. It is about the ability to objectively evaluate a staff member in order to appropriately coach them for personal and professional growth.

I find that many leaders in the ministry arena are not skilled at critical analysis of their staff. We tend to over emphasize strengths and under emphasize weaknesses - especially of our own staff. This may be Christian nice, it may be a sense of loyalty that causes us to gloss over necessary areas of growth or it may just be an underdeveloped skill. However, if we cannot do critical analysis of our staff we are unable to coach them for growth. Glossing over areas of needed growth is a disfavor to our staff.

Coaching for growth
Helping staff grow is one of the marks of a leader who serves his or her staff. It is also painfully absent in many organizations and teams. This coaching often comes in the form of an ongoing dialogue with a staff member based on our critical analysis. It is designed to help them maximize their God given potential and is a deeply intentional process to help a staff member grow.

Coaching for growth requires a level of courage to provide honest feedback where behaviors or responses are problematic. Supervisors who want to be best buddies with their staff will not go here and it is one of the downsides of a needy supervisor. But without honest feedback our staff members will not grow. This can be done diplomatically and with sensitivity but honest feedback is the only way any of us become aware of areas of necessary growth.

Positioning for effectiveness
Jim Collins popularized the term "the right seat on the bus." We often pay too little attention to the positioning of staff so that they are most effective. Often, a staff member who is struggling in one seat shines in another. Again, this is where critical analysis is so important because it is in understanding the unique wiring and strengths of a staff member that we are able to position them best for effective and fulfilling work.

While there are often things that we prefer not to do it does make sense to minimize the areas where staff are working from weakness rather from strength - if it is possible to do so. Staff should be working a minimum of 60% in areas of strength in order to be effective and the optimum is 80%. The right seat on the bus does matter - a lot.

Take time to ensure that your leaders and supervisors are able and committed to these three keys to people development. It is a great loss to leave potential on the table because we are not serving our staff in this area.

Self Knowledge and leadership

Few skills are as critical for a leader as that of accurate self-knowledge. I stress the word accurate because all of us have a view of ourselves but that view is not always accurate. When it is not accurate we often get in the way of ourselves.


What does self knowledge entail? First it means that we know what our strengths are. Each of us has two to three strengths where we shine and everything else is a weakness. If we can identify our strengths we have also by default identified our weaknesses (everything else). Humility is knowing how God designed us and giving him the credit. And, understanding how badly we need others to compensate for our weaknesses.


Second, self knowledge means that we understand the shadow side of our strengths. Every strength has a shadow side. Three of my five strengths identified by Strenghfinders are strategic, maximizer and achiever. They are a powerful combination. However, their shadow side can include a lack of patience and irritation when others don't move as quickly as I would want them to, or "get it" when the answer seems so simple.


Understanding our shadow side allows us to manage it. We cannot change how we are wired but we can manage our attitudes and behaviors so that our shadow side does not impede our leadership by negatively impacting those around us.


This goes to the third area of self knowledge - understanding how we are perceived by others and how our wiring impacts them. One of the ways that leaders get themselves into trouble is when they don't understand how others perceive them. They may think that they are decisive, for instance but others read them as arrogant. They may want a harmonious relationship with everyone but it is read as lacking clarity because different things are said to different people in order to please them.


The gap between our perception of ourselves and others perception of us is what we need to be aware of. Often we can learn something from testing where both the strengths and shadow side are identified which can give us clues to how others might see us. Feedback from others whom we trust is also a critical factor which means that we must be open and non-defensive about that feedback. The smaller the gap between our perception of ourselves and others perceptions of us, the better we can lead.


The fourth area of self knowledge is understanding our vulnerabilities to sin and when they are most likely to show up. We are vulnerable in different ways and different circumstances and a keen awareness of those ways and circumstances allows us to put in place safeguards to keep us from the "roaring lion that seeks to destroy us." 


Self knowledge requires introspection and a desire to understand ourselves fully. Some won't go there because it makes us uncomfortable. Henry Nouwen said that the reason many of us don't like silence is that it is in that place we see the scaffolding of our lives the most clearly - and there are parts of that scaffolding that we don't like. Yet, the path to health is understanding our dishealth as much as our strengths. 


For leaders, self knowledge is a high priority. It impacts themselves and those they lead.

A father's blessing

What is it about fathers that makes them so special if we had one that we loved and admired? And for those whose father failed that test, why is there such a hole in the heart of longing and sadness? Why are our emotions around our fathers often so conflicted: Love, admiration, longing, sadness where they failed us - emotions that can run strong because there is something special about fathers.

I wonder if much of these conflicting emotions come down to this: We need, long for, have been blessed by or desperately wished for our father's blessing and acceptance. How many people are still trying to gain their father's blessing and acceptance long into life when that blessing or acceptance was withheld? Is this the reason that emotions around our fathers remain strong for all of our lives?

Fathers who withhold blessing and acceptance from their children leave a legacy of longing that never fully goes away. Those who give this gift are easily forgiven their many failures because this gift is so powerful!

I believe that a father's acceptance and blessing is really a spiritual longing and mirrors our need for God's acceptance and blessing. God is the father none of us fully had for He is the perfect father and He bestows on us full acceptance, divine blessing and loving encouragement. He knows us fully and still loves us fully. His love is unconditional and cannot be earned. His favor is upon us even when He lovingly disciplines us. 

For those of us who are fathers, our example for fatherhood is the character and person of our God. For those of us who long for a father figure they never had, God is their ultimate father! Seek His blessing for He freely gives it!

To all fathers: Never withhold acceptance and blessing from your children. It is what all children need from their fathers - as youngsters and as adults. We can fail at many things but if we fail at this we will leave a deep hole in the hearts of our offspring. 

Enemies of a leader's heart

Our hearts have enemies that would like nothing less than to sabotage our personal lives and ministry effectiveness. We ignore them to our peril. Which of these enemies are you ignoring?

Out of control schedules that leave too little margin for the feeding of our own souls. A starved heart cannot give life to us or to others.

Substituting professional knowledge of God for the inner transformation of our lives from God: A subtle shift that makes all the difference in the world.

Leadership success that causes us to increasingly rely on our own wisdom than being dependent on God's Spirit and power.

Professional and personal spiritual pride that keeps us from listening to God and to others around us. 

The seduction of position and power that convinces us that we are different and entitled. Power and position without intentional safeguards breed deceived hearts.

Deceit which comes from the seduction of position and power allowing us to think the rules don't apply to us and to skirt ethical and truthful boundaries.

Arrogance that keeps us from listening to God and to others leaving our hearts exposed to its enemies.

Isolation which robs us of the natural accountability of close friends or others we are accountable to. Lack of accountability is a precursor to personal failure.

The praise of others which exaggerates our spiritual and professional health and underestimates our depravity and sinful tendencies. We believe it to our peril.

Using a ministry mission as a platform for a personal mission that is more about us than it is about God - hidden behind a spiritual facade. 

What are the enemies of your heart and where have those enemies breached your walls and threaten to harm you? Be aware, be vigilant and guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

Moving from fear to friendships with Muslims

Westerners have a caricature of Muslims that is largely based on media hype around radical Islamists,  9/11, the politics of Iran, Bin Laden, our wars in Iraq and the threat of Iran - all of which tend to breed fear, a desire to keep our distance and frankly a dislike and even disdain for Muslims.

Here is the problem. First, when it comes to the majority of Muslims, none of our caricature is remotely true. Second, Jesus loves Muslims with the same degree of which He loves non-Muslims which leads me to three: we are called to love and minister to those Jesus loves and who (like us) were made in His image.

Stereotypes are almost always the result of a lack of relationship with those we marginalize and stereotype. So the antidote to the caricature we have of Muslims is to actually engage with them in friendship. If every American evangelical had one Muslim friend the attitudes of the same would be vastly different.

I have met many Muslims and interacted with them on numerous ocasssions in the United States and internationally. Somali Muslim kids wave to me from across the street every morning and their basement is furnished with furniture that we outsourced. My taxi drivers and airport workers in Minneapolis are largely Muslim. I have had lengthy conversations with Muslims in my travels. 

While Muslims have a different mindset than we do they have the same dreams, aspirations, struggles, family issues and so on that we do. They are ordinary people who want to live their lives in peace, make a living wage, and negotiate life as well as they can. And most of them welcome a friendship with an American and separate American politics from friendship with American individuals. And because of the hospitality culture they come from once you are a friend, they will be intensely loyal.

As in all cases, friendships are the key to killing stereotypes and opening doors for the Gospel. As it relates to Muslims, the church in the United States must move from fear to friendship with their Muslim neighbors. In doing so our stereotypes will die, real friendships will emerge, the door will be opened to the Gospel and bridges built. Ironically you have more in common with Muslims as an individual than you have that separates you from them. But one does not know that without a friendship.

In fact, the premier curriculum for helping evangelicals understand Muslims and share the Gospel with Muslims is called Bridges and is available from the Crescent Project.

Certainly there are radical Muslims I don't want to associate with and Bin Laden when he was alive never invited me for a cup of tea and had he done so it might have ended badly. But truth be told there are people who call themselves Christians that I don't want to associate with as well (Westboro Baptist Church for instance). As any Baptist would point out, they don't represent Baptists but their own radical agenda.  Radicals of any persuasion are not my cup of tea (including in the evangelical sphere) but they also don't represent most others. 

My challenge for Christ followers is to develop at least one friendship with a Muslim and see how God uses that to change your heart and perhaps their heart. It will also help us move past our fear to something even more important: friendship - where the Gospel usually starts.

Generous churches

Is it possible that many churches see little fruit because they live selfishly? By that I mean that they exist primarily for themselves rather than for those who do not yet know Jesus.


They would never say that about themselves of course. But the number of people who come to Jesus through their ministry are few,  and they have little or no impact beyond the edges of their parking lot.


Generous churches, like generous people, see beyond themselves and their mission is not primarily about themselves but about impacting lives and communities with the Gospel. They give away their time, energy, resources and love so that the name of Jesus is lifted high and His name becomes well known. They love on their community, they love on the unloved, and they love on the unsaved. So much so that whole communities know that they are a congregation of love.


Generous congregations love when people come to them but they are focused on going to others, meeting them on their ground and ministering to them on their turf. They look for ways to meet needs, share truth and love people in the name of Jesus. They don't wait for people to come to them but find ways to go to others. 


Life is not about us but about Jesus. It is true for us personally and it is true for congregations. Just as many Christ followers don't get that, so many congregations don't get that. But those who do see the  fruit of their generosity as people and communities are impacted with His love and we are energized by our Christ centered actions and God's smile on our lives.


How do we know whether we are a generous congregation? Here is the test. Would those in our area say we love on the community? Do they even know we are there or are we a non-event because our influence stays inside the boundaries of our parking lot? Are we living generously or selfishly?

Sticker shock in missions

It often surprises people when mission candidates share the amount that they need to raise per month. One candidate in the process of raising support told me that they will often hear "Wow, I don't make that much" when they explain that they need to raise $6,000 per month. 


Not so fast! Missionaries in our organization make a fair but modest income. But, we are not comparing oranges with oranges when thinking about our income and what missionaries need to raise.


Think about this. The total amount a missionary raises includes the following:

• salary
• health insurance*
• travel expenses (for all ministry related travel domestically and internationally)*
• ministry expenses*
• cost of educating children overseas
• housing
• taxes (including all of social security)*
• continuing education*
• retirement*
• cost of setting up a home overseas

Each of the starred items are "hidden costs" in the United States as these are paid partially or fully by employers and never show up as compensation. In addition, there are expenses missionaries have that most of us don't including the need to pay for the education of children.

If they are living in cities with high housing costs (often the case in Europe and Asia) the housing costs are significantly higher than the United States. It is not unusual for a modest flat in a place like Hong Kong to cost $3,000 per month!


In addition, whatever ministry expenses a missionary has must come out of their support. Travel to coach or train nationals, for instance, comes out of their ministry account (which they must raise). In today's world, many missionaries live in one place but travel to multiple countries training, coach and mentoring. All costs which come out of what they must raise.

What we often don't think about are the actual costs of ministry personnel in our local churches. On top of salary you have benefits paid by the church, the cost of offices and facilities, the cost of support personnel who assist them as well as the covering of ministry expenses. It is a much larger bill than we often realize. With missionaries the difference is that everything shows up in what they need to raise. There are no hidden costs.

Ironically, mission incomes are quite modest. It is the ancillary costs that are not. The next time you have sticker shock remember what the number means - and does not mean.


One final comment. We should never use the cost of sending missionaries as an excuse to no longer send long term personnel internationally. That would be to abandon the call on the church to fulfill the Great Commission. It is true that in today's world the role of missionaries is changing but not the need. 

How do we help people grasp the fact that lost people are lost and face an eternity without Jesus?

It is not politically correct to state this. We don't like to hear this. Many evangelicals in their bones do not believe this. Lost people (those who don't know Jesus) are lost and without a relationship with Him they are destined for an eternity in hell. In the words of Jesus, "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels (Matthew 25:41).'"

Many American believers like to believe that "all roads somehow lead to God and to heaven." We like to believe that because it fits our politically correct culture and Satan has convinced many Christians that a loving God would not allow "good" people to go to hell. It is like hoping that we will somehow not die one day. It defies the laws of human existence, just as hoping our lost friends, family and colleagues defies the laws of God's clearly stated truth.

If we cannot trust the Scriptures that those who are lost for eternity will not be in heaven how can we trust the Scriptures that those who know Jesus will be in heaven. Scriptures are either truthful or not and on eternal destinies there is wonderful news and terrible news.

How do I know that many Christ followers don't believe in the reality of eternal hell for all those who don't know Jesus? Surveys tell us that! But more importantly, lifestyles tell us that. If we really believed in an eternity without God would we not be more motivated to pray for our unsaved friends, spend time with them, share the Good news with them and do all that we could to see them introduced to Jesus? It would also motivate us to generously resource the global missions of the church to reach those who have never had a chance to hear the Gospel.

We are more motivated today to talk to others about the diet we found that is working for us than we are Jesus who changed our lives forever - and can change theirs. Why? We possess the most amazing gift anyone could ever have and we are too shy or fearful to share that news with others. 

The fact that those who don't know Jesus are destined for eternity without God needs to be a conversation we have with ourselves, with others and for those of us in Christian ministry with our constituents. It is not evangelism motivated by guilt but motivated by deep love, compassion and concern. How many people do we come into contact with daily who are the living lost and one day will be the eternally lost?

If you struggle with sharing the good news of Jesus, it starts by developing relationships with unbelievers. Those conversations inevitably lead to talk about our lives and struggles which gives us open doors to talk about faith and Christ. It is very simple. We underestimate the power of the Gospel's simple message to penetrate hearts. Not because we were convincing but because the Holy Spirit takes that message gives it understanding in those who are seeking. All we need to do is to share.

Emerging leaders

After spending several days with a bright group of emerging leaders in dialogue about the heart, leadership, strategies and spiritual transformation I am reminded of the significant responsibility that seasoned leaders have toward the next generation. If we don't pour into them who will?

Some of these were in missions, others in the local church, some in business. What characterized them was a hunger to learn, to explore, and to pick the brains of those of us who were presenting and dialoguing with them. I was personally challenged by their passion and commitment to Jesus - and their desire to lead well.

All of us have people in our circles who fit the description of emerging leaders, whether it be in the church, in other ministry contexts, in missions or in business. Our willingness to give ourselves away to them is the indicator of how much we value ensuring that the next generation is equipped and envisioned for the world they will inherit from us.

While leadership growth never stops, those of us who have led, who have paid dumb tax and learned lessons along the way, who have experienced failure and success, been humbled, and who  been forged in the midst of difficulties and challenges - have a lot to contribute to those who are emerging in the next generation of leaders. They will lead differently but their leadership can be deeply informed by others who will pour into them.

This is a 2 Timothy 2:2 issue: Multiplying ourselves so that the cause of Jesus is multiplied in our world. What are you doing to see that happen in your circle? Remember, life is not about us but what we leave behind us.

Transformational Leadership

There is much discussion around the issue of transformation today, as there should be. One thing that we often overlook is that ministries are  often deeply in need of transformation and renewal as well and it is the job of leaders to see that happen. I call this transformational leadership.

Transformational leadership in the Christian ministry arena is the deliberate creation of healthy, empowered, Spirit led, collegial and effective ministries. It is the opposite of managing the status quo. Instead, the transformational leader sees his or her job as bringing transformation to all areas of the  organization where malaise, bureaucracy, lack of Spiritual sensitivity, unempowement, lack of missional clarity or alignment and focused results has crept in. This is not a one time thing but an ongoing concern. Organizational renewal is always ongoing.

It is organizational change designed to breath life, spiritual vitality, missional clarity and focused results into it. The transformational leader applies the principles of spiritual transformation into an entire ministry organization. On the individual side they create a culture where spiritual transformation is encouraged and on the organizational side they create a culture where spiritual vitality and missional clarity can flourish.

All good leaders are change agents toward healthy organizational structures, cultures and ethos where individuals can flourish and be all that they were made  to be. Because organizations slide toward institutionalism and comfortable, leaders are constantly ensuring that they stay missional and focused. When a leader ceases to be a transformational leader they cease to be effective.

Transformational leadership starts with leaders who make transformation in their own lives a priority. One cannot take others where one has not been themselves. They are then deliberate in creating the healthiest environment within the ministry or team that they lead. 

Are you a leader or a transformational leader and what does that look like for you and your organization? Where is your organization in need of renewal?

13 Leadership secrets from TJ

Clarity
The first job of leaders is to provide maximum clarity to those they lead about what their organization is about and how they will do what they do. The second job of leaders is to ensure that there is alignment around that clarity. The third job of leaders is to ensure that there are results based on that clarity. Leaders are the chief evangelists for the clarity they have defined for the organization.


Simplicity
Ministry is complex. Complexity is confusing. The job of leaders is to simplify complexity. Leaders simplify, simplify and simplify until all important issues can be explained on one sheet of paper.


Altitude
Leaders understand the altitude that they need to fly at in order to lead well and resist the temptation to dip down to fly at an altitude others are supposed to be flying at. Leaders do not disempower others in the organization by dipping down and doing what others are tasked with.


Empowerment
Leaders empower those who work for them within agreed upon boundaries. They neither delegate without accountability or micro manage and second guess. Leaders empower good people and hold them accountable for results.


Team
A group of missionally aligned and healthy individuals working strategically together under good leadership toward common objectives with accountability for results. Leaders build teams carefully and lead them intentionally.

Resolve

Leaders must have the resolve to follow through consistently with the clarity they have established. Clarity means nothing without the consistency of disciplined execution in a same direction. Leaders have staff who learn never to question their resolve.


Trust
Trust is a function of clarity + consistency + fairness + keeping one's word + authenticity + serving those on one's staff. Leaders always keep coinage in their trust account.


Failure
If one never fails one is living and leading too cautiously. Where there is not permission to fail there is no entrepreneurial thinking and where there is no entrepreneurial thinking there is no significant progress. When failure occurs, leaders practice autopsy without blame.


Evaluation
The mantra is plan, do, check, adjust. Leaders evaluate constantly.


Wisdom
Common wisdom is very common and rarely wisdom. Leaders think like contrarians, always asking why and why not? Leaders do not automatically go with the flow. Rather, they question the flow and look for new and better ways to do what they do. Leaders question conventional wisdom frequently.


Change
Tweaking is fear based change and one cannot tweak one's way to a new future. Leaders look for the game changers that change everything. A few truly significant decisions each year are more powerful than many insignificant decisions.


Results
Leaders never mistake activity for results. Everyone is busy but not everyone sees the same results. Leaders distinguish between activity and activity that yields intended results.


Intentionality
Leaders are deeply intentional in how they live and lead. They never settle for accidental living. Leaders know what they are about, what their priorities are and what they should say no to.

Organizational pride and humility

Pride is not only an issue for individuals but for organizations as well. Ministries can be prideful or humble and while it is not always seen on the inside, it is usually evident from the outside.


Take a church, for instance, that experienced great success in its past. It was well known and looked up to. Years later when it has passed its prime the leaders and congregation still think of themselves as "that" church that had once been - proud of who they are when in fact they are long past that era and in serious need of change and renovation. What keeps them from that change? Pride!


Organizations tuat are proud become organizations that stop learning, listening to others, and become stuck in whatever era it was that saw their greatest success. Humble organizations are the opposite. They know they have a lot to learn, know that times and circumstances change and are always looking for ways to learn and grow.


Pride is as destructive to ministry organizations as it is to individuals. It inflates importance and therefore decreases a humble attitude of learning,. It overvalues itself and undervalues others. In doing so it becomes insular and sees no need to cooperate with others. After all, it has a corner on the ministry market. 


And it is a dangerous place to be because that corner is an illusion and the moment we stop learning, cooperating and valuing others our own decline is set in motion. We may not know it for a number of years but it will set in. 


I want the organization I lead to be the best that it can be. But that best is predicated on being a humble, learning, cooperating, giving and servant organization. Pride destroys effectiveness while humility promotes it.

Brokenness is the way to wholeness

Recently I have had the privilege of hearing the stories of a number of couples who are vibrant followers of Christ with strong marriages and a deep commitment to ministry. They all have something in common: their wholeness came through deep brokenness along the way.


It is the way of growth for those who follow Jesus. Mary Ann and I know this as well which is why we wrote the book When Life Comes Undone: Walking in Faith when Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce. 


Why the dichotomy of wholeness through brokenness? It is quite simple: It is in our brokenness that we finally allow God to do the renovation work in our lives that brings the healing and joy of wholeness. God's construction of healthy comes on the heals of the deconstruction of our lives that pain brings. 


One of the common themes among these couples is that they are deeply thankful for the brokenness they experienced. It was in their pain that they faced the bitter realities of their own sin and need and in the process found the amazing grace of Jesus' forgiveness and healing. They would not be where they are today without the dark night of the soul they experienced along the way.


Freedom and wholeness come to those who press into Jesus in their brokenness. That is why I call pain and suffering - no matter its source - as an unlikely gift. It is a wonderful thing to come to the place where we have nothing to trust in but God. When He is all we have, we realize that He is all we need. In the wake of the deconstruction of our lives through pain we experience the life that Jesus brings (John 10:10).


The key to wholeness of life is that we press in to Jesus and allow Him to do the renovation our lives need. And that usually comes in its greatest form in our deepest time of personal need.

It's easier to plan than to execute

One of the challenges with many Christian ministry staff is the propensity to plan, plan and plan. Why? Because it is easier to plan than it is to execute. It is safer too! 

As long as one is planning nothing can go wrong! Also not much happens!

We tend to want to plan processes perfectly. It is a nice idea but it is impossible. What one does need to know is where one is going and what is going to be done to get there in the next one to three years.

If a plan cannot be explained on one sheet of paper (OK maybe a large sheet) it is too complex. Remember: ministry is complex; complexity is confusing; it is our job to clarify complexity. 

We need a plan but simple beats complex every time. Once we have a plan what we really need is a large measure of disciplined execution. 

Most ministries should do less planning and more execution - of a simple, understandable, reasonable plan.

Ever wonder why those long range planning exercises gather dust? They are too complex so they don't get done. Simple and workable is far easier to execute than complex. 

Can you put your organization's vision on ten power point slides with how you are going to achieve it? Try it. It will help you simplify your clarity. And it will help you get to action.

Challenging questions from the life of Jesus

If Jesus accepts me fully, why don't I accept myself? If He made me the way He wanted me to be why do I wish I was different (Ephesians 2:10)?


If Jesus has willingly forgiven all of my sin (1 John 1:9), why do I hold on to grudges with others rather than forgiving them?


If Jesus has invited me to join him in His work, why do I focus on myself instead of signing up for His Kingdom assignment (Ephesians 2:10)?


If Jesus has poured out on me all the riches of His glory and power and relationship and provision, why do I complain that I don't have enough (Ephesians 1-2)?


If Jesus spent his life looking for those who were hurting and in need of him, why do I spend most of my time with fellow Christ followers?


If Jesus gave me grace when I didn't deserve it why do I withhold it from others who don't deserve it?


If Jesus lived in unity with the Father and the Holy Spirit, why don't I work harder to live in unity with my fellow believers?


If Jesus lived with an open hand, why is my hand closed so often?


If Jesus needed to spend time with His Father why don't I make that time in my life?


If Jesus served with humility why do I live with so much pride?


If Jesus lived a life of suffering why do we think we are immune and complain when it happens?


If Jesus never marginalized and put down people why do we do it?


The life of Jesus challenges my life, and yours!

Five issues often ignored by church and ministry boards

There are a number of issues that ministry boards often overlook, thinking that they are small items and not worth pressing into. These small items, however, have the potential to significantly impact the ministry over the long run.

1. Allowing their leader (pastor or other) to operate without a definable annual plan. The thinking is that we have a competent leader and insisting that he has an annual plan isn't that important. It is! 

If the senior leader does not have an annual plan then neither in most cases do other staff or the organization as a whole. Bad idea if you want a results oriented ministry.

2.  Not evaluating your pastor or ministry leader annually - and against the annual plan they developed. Again we think, at this level, evaluations are not important. In fact, at this level they are even more important because the leadership of your senior leader impacts everyone in the organization. 

In addition, it gives you a venue to talk about issues that you may want dialogue on. You don't want to start reviews when there is a significant issue. Get into the rhythm before issues arrive so that you have a venue to deal with them when they do.

3. Ignoring bad hires, early departures or trends with staff that could be warning signs of staff culture trouble. We want to give our senior leader great leeway and we should. But not at the expense of asking hard questions when there are warning signs flashing that all might not be well. If there is a warning light coming on, explore it, don't ignore it.

4. Allowing a leader to continue year after year when the ministry has plateaued, direction is missing and key people are departing because of it. We don't like confrontation (which is usually a good thing). But keeping quiet in the face of organizational decline is criminal for board members whose job it is to guard the organization. When senior leaders cannot lead well and they become the cause of ministry decline, they must transition out of their leadership role.

5. Not honestly and candidly evaluating themselves as a board - and allowing for unhealthy practices at the board level. Boards are not immune from the same scrutiny they give their leader and the ministry they oversee. When they are immune, they often allow unhealthy and non-missional behavior that hurts the organization they represent.

While these issues may not seem important to you right now there will come a day when they are. Ignoring them it a prelude to trouble that can be traced back to those in governance.

What is stalling your personal development?

There are a number of keys to personal growth but one of the most important is removing barriers to that growth. Thus the question: what is stalling your personal development?


We often strive harder when we want to grow but often it is not a matter of working harder but rather in addressing those issues that are inadvertently stalling our growth. Remove the barriers and we grow.


I spoke with someone recently, for instance who had struggled for years with certain personal disciplines regarding time, schedule, time with God and a number of other things. This is a highly successful individual by the way which indicates that such struggles are common to us all. 


In the last year he was able to put structures in his life that enabled him to live out the disciplines he so desired and he is on a spiritual growth spurt that is like his initial years with Christ. He is the happiest and most productive he has ever been and it is all the result of removing a significant barrier to growth.


Barriers to growth are like dams. Once removed the river of growth flows unfetterd by the dam that held it back. Those barriers are as diverse as are people but usually we know what they are in our lives. 


The question is not about not knowing but in determining what we are going to do about them - precisely because we don't want to stall out in our personal growth.


Take some time this week and ponder what barriers are holding you back. What barriers need to be removed to allow you to go the the next level spiritually, professionally or personally? Taking action will allow you to move forward.

Unempowered, unhappy and undervalued staff

I have met my share of people in ministry positions recently who have been working for unempowering leaders, hierarchical structures, controlling leaders or who have been sidelined or unappreciated by the leadership structure above them. 

They feel like they are swimming upstream, their voice is not heard, that they cannot use their gifts to the fullest and while they love the ministry mandate of their organizations they feel like they no longer fit. It is a sad commentary on many ministry cultures. In many cases the controlling and unempowering culture causes great pain to those who are caught in its grip.

Whenever I have conversations with folks like this I think of the great waste of ministry potential, the frustration factor for good staff and the net loss to the kingdom. I cannot help think that God may hold leaders accountable for not fully releasing other ministry personnel for the sake of His kingdom.

What is more sad is that the leaders who cause this dysfunction don't even know they are doing it, or don't care. I have had leaders tell me how happy their staff are but when I ask some questions of those staff I find a radically different story. It is clear to me that the leader has assumed much and probed little. 

One of the trends I am watching is high quality staff who are leaving these dysfunctional cultures in their fifties as they realize that life is short and they want to be in a place where they can experience convergence between their gifts, God's call and an empowered ministry culture. 

The beneficiaries of those moves are ministries that value their staff, create empowered cultures, collegial teams, and value the gifts, voice and ideas of their ministry colleagues. For those who have been in the bondage of dysfunctional or unempowered ministries it is a breath of fresh air.

If you are a leader and value your staff, think about the culture you are creating. If you are a staff member in the wilderness of unempowered cultures, know that there are ministries that will release you to use all of your potential. Life is short and the opportunities are huge.

When leadership boards become the barrier to church growth

Leadership boards play a significant role in whether congregations grow or hit a plateau or even go into decline. 

Here is a general rule. The more time a leadership board spends on managing the day to day affairs of a church the greater the barrier they will be to church growth. The more time a leadership board spends on thinking and praying about the future the greater the chances that ministry growth will occur. 

Why? Because a focus on the status quo will give you more status quo while a focus on the future will lead you toward that future.

This is why leadership boards should allow staff and volunteers to do the managing of day to day affairs and spend the majority of their time (50 % or more) thinking, praying and planning for the future.

How does a leadership board get to a place where it can afford to spend a good portion of their time in praying, thinking and learning so that they can move the ministry forward? 

First plan your agendas around the big rocks not the small rocks.

Second, task others with coming up with systems or solutions to the small rocks and third delegate whatever they can to others so that they can do what they should be doing.

This is why the Apostles delegated the looking after the widows in the early church to others. It was the first known ministry team!

Whatever boards focus on will be the thing that gets done. It is a simple but important principle. 

My book, High Impact Church boards, goes into greater detail if you need to refocus your board.

Leadership self evaluation

As a leader I have high expectations of those who work in our organization. These include integrity, being focused on our common mission, creating a healthy atmosphere for our staff to flourish and then small things like returning emails and phone calls. In fact, we have a short document called "expectations of a leader" that spell these out.


From time to time I need to evaluate myself to ensure that I am living by the same standards I expect of others. It is all too easy for leaders to develop a sense of entitlement that the rules do not apply to them. And we know that others will not generally call us on it - we are their leader. It doesn't mean they don't notice, however! 


Not only do staff notice but it directly impacts the opinion they have of their leader, either creating great trust and respect or cynicism and disrespect. It is easy for leaders to miss this point because no one is calling them on their failure to live up to the leadership expectations. 


Here is an interesting scenario. It is possible for a leader to be well respected outside his/her staff because they accomplish good things but have far less respect within their staff because those who know them the best don't see them living out staff expectations. The real test of our leadership is whether those who know us the best respect us because we keep the common commitments well. We live what we expect from others. 


From time to time I directly ask those who report to me if there are things I do or don't do that negatively impact them - or that they wish I would do differently. If there are areas where I am falling behind I want to know about it so that I can rectify my shortcomings. 


All of us have shortcomings but wise leaders ensure that they are living out what they expect of others. It is a matter of leadership!

Avoid the comparison trap. It is toxic to us.

Too often our view of ourselves deeply flawed. Rather than seeing ourselves for who we are we do so instead through a lens of comparison with others. That comparison creates a distorted view of ourselves: We see not who God made us to be but something different and someone different.


It is bad enough that we compare our own self worth against other people but we further complicate it by comparing our circumstances, positions, opportunities and wealth against those of others. These comparisons often create envy of others which directly leads to a lack of peace in our own lives.


Why are comparisons with others toxic for us? First because God uniquely made us as He wanted to, gave us the gifts He designed for us and a work to do that He created only for us (Ephesians 2:10). If we don't like who we are our argument is not with others around us but with God Himself. The problem is that God does not create anything but the best and it is only in embracing His purpose for our lives that we experience the greatest happiness and satisfaction.


Second, we tend to think that if we had the gifts, opportunities or wealth of others that we would be happy. Ironically, those we compare ourselves too are no less or more happy than we are. Their joy, like ours, depends on embracing the calling on their lives. And behind the good looking exteriors we all put up are issues struggled with, pain dealt with and their own set of challenges to work through.


Looking at our lives through the lens of the lives of others is like looking through a highly distorted window. No longer do we see who God made us to be with the gifting and purpose He designed for our lives but we distort our picture with what He intended for others. That distortion skews our thinking, robs our joy and more important sidetracks us from the role He uniquely designed for us to play. 


Our joy and satisfaction comes when we embrace who God made us to be, how He uniquely gifted us and how He wants to use us. Try to embrace someone else's gifting and calling and we lose our joy (and it cannot be done anyway). Stop comparing and start embracing and we experience the joy of a life God made for us. 


God has given us amazing, mind blowing gifts (Read Ephesians 1 and 2). One of those specific gifts is the making of the unique us (Ephesians 2:10) along with a specific mission in life. Embrace it, thank God for it and live it out and we will be the most joyful and satisfied of people. Distort all that by comparing ourselves with others and the joy and satisfaction is robbed.


Avoid the comparison trap. It will rob you of what God intended for your life.

The cost of freedom

As a reader of history I am always amazed and deeply appreciative of the cost that was paid for the freedoms we enjoy and which most of the world does not. Men and women who willingly went into the line of fire knowing the risks and who were willing to pay the price - often the ultimate price. Memorial day is a sober day for anyone who has walked the graveyards of Normandy, Manila, Hawaii and others scattered around the world.


As one who regularly travels to countries where our freedoms are non existent, I am all too aware of what freedom means - or the lack of it. 


There is another kind of freedom that is even more important - that of the spiritual freedom that the Gospel brings. And there is a long list of God's servants who have given their lives, and do every day around the world. There is no freedom in this world, political or spiritual without a cost. 


Just as our world is in need of those like my nieces and nephews who are in the armed services defending our freedom, the church needs those who will go to hard places for the sake of the Gospel in spite of the risk. Political freedom brings temporal freedom. The Gospel brings temporal and eternal freedom.


I thank each member of our team in ReachGlobal who have given their careers to the cause of the Gospel. And to every member of every mission and every Christian worker in hard places. Your willingness to answer the call of Jesus is paying eternal dividends of men and women and children who have found freedom in Jesus.


Freedom is costly. It is also worth it. God's army is still waiting for those who will join it!

Those who need to control and how to recognize it

I am convinced that the desire to control others is a result of the fall and our sinful nature. And there are many people who are very good at controlling others. Often we feel the uncomfortable nature of someone's control but cannot always pinpoint the source of the control or its dysfunctional nature. 


Sometimes we don't realize the controlling nature of the relationship until we are out of the relationship. An abused spouse, for instance, often does not realize what freedom is until they have been out of the abusive relationship for a period of time and it is in retrospect that they are able to pinpoint the sources of the control.


People and even groups of people control others in a variety of ways: actions; anger; flattery; attitudes; words; money; organizational structure; friendship or lack of it; intimidation; closeness or marginalization. In each case, the effort is to control the actions, thinking or behavior of others. 


How does one know if there is control going on? Here are some signs:

• I am feeling pressured to act or believe a certain way
• I feel the displeasure of another when I act independently
• My relationship with another is based on how I respond to them
• I feel intimidation
• I experience flattery when doing what the other desires and anger or distance when I don't
• I experience threats: implicit or explicit
• The other wants an exclusive relationship with me and is not comfortable with me having a variety of relationships
• There is not freedom to disagree or push back
• The other has an attitude of "you are either my friend or my enemy", "you are either for me or against me."
• The other feels free to critique me but does not give me the freedom to critique them
• I often feel an air of condescension or superiority
• I feel used in certain circumstances where I am expected to act on their behalf when they need it but there is not reciprocation
• I am often wrong but they are not - at least they make me feel that way

What these kinds of feelings are telling us is that there is dysfunction in the relationship that is violating our sense of personal freedom. If a relationship has these kinds of feelings to it we are wise to do some introspection on the relationship because it is usually going to end badly. 

The reason it will end badly is that this is not a true and healthy friendship. Rather it is a relationship where one is being used - and when no longer needed will be discarded. Those who control people ultimately use people for their purposes. Otherwise they would have no need to control. 

Beware of controlling relationships. Someone is ultimately going to get hurt and it will not be the controller.