The unlikely gift of pain

I experienced my first real failure at age 28. My dreams were broken, the vision for my life in shambles, I had resigned from my church after four years of deep pain, had no idea what I would do next and was suffering from clinical depression. What I did not know then was that my “failure” would be used by God to mold, direct, soften and sharpen, and forge things in my heart that could not be forged except through pain.

It was not a fair suffering by any stretch of the imagination. One of the lessons I have learned over the years is that “fair” is not God’s greatest concern for our lives. His greater concern is that we become what He wants us to be for the sake of what He wants us to do. Life was not fair for Moses, Joseph, Paul, Jesus, David, Esther, or most of the great characters of Scripture.

In every case there was a testing of the soul, a forging of character, a decision that had to be made whether to trust in the midst of suffering and the learning that can only take place through pain. As a focusing agent, nothing does it like pain – regardless of the source of that pain. As a young leader I did not know the cost of leadership in terms of suffering and pain. As an older leader I realize that the lessons learned in suffering and pain would not have been learned in any other way. Suffering is both the cost of leadership and a prerequisite of becoming a leader of deep influence. There is no other way.

As I survey my life over the past thirty years I can trace all the major themes of my life to periods of deep pain. It was in those times that God most forged character, faith, heart, soul and mind. I would not willingly choose to repeat those periods of pain but I would also not trade them for anything. Without the pain I would not be who I am today. As one who wants to have deep influence I can say with honesty: “Thank you God for the pain I have endured. You used it to make me who I am.”

A sage of the faith once wrote, “God cannot use a man greatly until He has first hurt him deeply.” This is not a statement about God’s character but about what it takes to mold our character. A reflection on the great men and women of Scripture reveal periods of great pain and brokenness which made them who they were. One of the prices of developing great influence is the presence of suffering in our lives.

Peter, speaking to those who were suffering because of their faith put suffering into an eternal perspective. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Peter is clear that suffering is not a random event but is intimately connected to what God wants to do in our lives – to refine our faith and make us the kind of people who are genuine and authentic which results in praise, glory and honor to God.” There is an authenticity to the faith of those who have gone through deep waters and rather than abdicate to bitterness and a diminished life, follow even harder after God, trusting Him when it makes no sense to trust and learning his sufficiency in their pain.

Paul, understood the deep connection between understanding Jesus and suffering. “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11).

To know Jesus is first to understand what it means to be “a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3). While health, wealth and prosperity are proclaimed today as God’s will for all of His people, Scripture says that those who suffer share in the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings and the writer of Hebrews encourages us with the truth that “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him” (Hebrews 5:8-9). If the very Son of God was molded by suffering how can any of His followers not assume that they too will be molded by the same?

Think about this. Without the dark nights of the soul, David would never have been able to write the Psalms, the place all of us turn when we suffer our dark nights of the soul. Without his wilderness experience, Moses would never have become God’s most humble leader with whom he spoke face to face. Without Abraham’s willingness to follow God not knowing how it would turn out he would never have become the paradigm of faith for all the generations after him. Without suffering, the messiah would not have become the bearer of our sin!

When all is said and done, God is more concerned about the refining of our faith and lives than He is for our comfort and ease. The picture that Peter uses of faith “refined by fire” is the picture of the heating of metals in the forge so that the dross floats to the surface and can be scraped off to be thrown out – leaving something pure and beautiful behind. Pain and suffering do for our hearts what the fire does for precious metals like gold. There is no other way to purity metal and there is no other way to purify and mold our hearts.

When I packed my truck on a September day to leave my pastorate, I had no money, no job to go to and no hope. I was devastated, sad, tired, depressed and had a lot of questions for God for which I was receiving no answers. My name and reputation were being trashed, lies were being told and I could not answer back but had to leave my reputation with God. At that moment I was in survival mode unable to see beyond the pain – and there was nothing at that time to see! It was a simple hanging on to God and that is all. There was no great faith, no assumption of what He would do. I was just trying to survive my faith.

I now have the perspective of 30 years to look back on those painful days. It was through that pain that my theology of grace became a lifestyle of grace where I no longer needed to prove myself to God or others. It was because of those circumstances that I ended up at the national office of the EFCA, something I had no desire or intention to ever do. It was through my dark night of the soul that I started to consult with church boards and staff on healthy leaders, intentional leadership and empowered structures which in turn birthed two books, High Impact Church Boards, Leading From the Sandbox and two others.

Through the tough days I learned that God would be faithful if I would just trust Him. I let go of my need for “justice” (sometimes vengeance) and left that issue with Him. My depression led me to counseling and medication which in turn gave me great empathy for those who suffer from emotional pain on a regular basis. Slowly over time, the pain gave way to mercy, grace and a spiritual perspective and memories that once tied my stomach in knots for days became merely parts of my biography that informed who I was today. Over time, the perspective of my pain turned from that of hopelessness and suffering to one of God’s gracious grace in my life that forged a more perfect me – the me God designed me to be.

Choosing to live generously

One of the outstanding characteristics of Christ followers is that of generosity. It is what stood out in the early church and it is the thing that often surprises non-Christ followers today and gets their attention.

What is generous living? It is a willingness to share what we have with those around us, to meet needs that we can meet and seeing our resources as belonging to God and not to us. It is also a culture that can be encouraged in our congregations.

Mary Ann and I, for example, for years have chosen to rarely sell possessions that we no longer need but to give them away. Our vehicles are available to others who may need them. Our giving includes individuals who are in need that God has laid on our hearts to help. Our frequent flyer miles often go to others who need tickets. All of us have different opportunities and abilities to be generous but all of us can be generous. It is a matter of our mindset and seeing whatever God has given us as His to use on His behalf.

Generosity does not just apply to our goods. It applies to our time! Paul calls it "being rich in good deeds" (1 Timothy 6:18). A meal to those who need it, praying for those who are hurting, a visit to someone in the hospital or retirement home, a word of encouragement. Everyone can be rich in good deeds. Each of us has certain skills that can be generously shared with others.

This is all about living with open hands and open hearts. Like God, when He sent His Son. Like Jesus in the incarnation. Isn't it interesting that Jesus gave His very life for us and we often hang on to our stuff and live selfishly rather than generously.

Paul told Timothy to "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life" (1 Timothy 6:17-19).

Deconstructing the American church

We often do not realize how much the church in the United States is driven by the culture of our nation rather than by the culture of God's Kingdom. Let me share some examples!

Success
For many church leaders success is defined in the American church by numbers of people, size of budgets, wonderful facilities, large staff and excellent programming. All of those are societal definitions of success rather than New Testament definitions of success which are about God's people actually looking like Jesus and non believers crossing the line to belief. Within my own denomination there are pastors who are driven to have their congregations hit a thousand so that they can become a part of the "K club." Does Jesus value the large church over the small church? Does church size in itself have anything to do with success?

Transformation of lives where we understand and live out grace, where we think like Jesus, prioritize our lives around His priorities and see people and love people as Jesus sees them and loves them is a Kingdom definition of success. Size is not - except in our culture!

Consumerism
It is what drives our nation and often it is what drives our ministries. We are used to being served when we are called to serve. We are used to being comfortable when we are called to the often uncomfortable life of a pilgrim. 

We are used to being entertained and pity the pastor who cannot do so. So much of our nation is about me and we rather than about what I can do to serve others, serve God and enhance His Kingdom. Just as the quarterly reports drive our consumer society so our numbers and whatever we need to do to enhance them drive many ministries. Most church growth is simply the reshuffling of believers from one venue to a better venue - until an even better one comes along.

Consumers expect to be made comfortable, get what they paid for, be served and entertained. Think about Jesus and His expectations and life. It was not a consumer mentality but a God oriented mentality committed to the concerns of His Father and not even of Himself (notwithstanding that He was God). Yet we often feed the consumer side of the church!

Competition
I spoke to a pastor recently about why they had made changes in their ministry. He candidly admitted that he did so because another large church in the area had planted an venue in his neighborhood and they needed to differentiate themselves. We compete in all areas of life in our nation and it is usually no different in the church. Cooperation, a sign of unity, is of far less value to us regardless of the High Priestly Prayer of Jesus for the same (John 17) then winning - being better.

I could go on and I don't have all the answers. What I do believe is that we need to deconstruct the American church and reconstruct it on New Testament and Kingdom values: The making of disciples, calling people to a life of followership, serving others, caring deeply for the lost, loving on our communities, using our gifts for His purposes, a true stewardship of our resources, time, energy and abilities and lives that actually look like that of Jesus.

All of us live in a society that has its own set of values. Jesus made it clear that His Kingdom has a different set of values - hence for instance, The Sermon on the Mount. Discerning leaders are clear as to which values belong in His church and in our lives. The ability to discern the difference between the two sets of values is a critical skill of church leaders.

What metrics do you use to determine success in your church?

The definition of metrics as a means of understanding how we are doing in local church ministry is one that is gaining far more prominence. How do we know if we are doing well? How do we catch areas that are sliding? Of course that presupposes that we desire to honestly evaluate our ministries as a means of sharpening our focus and our success.

One of the keys to using metrics is to measure all that you can (the more information you have the more you will understand) and then to determine what the key non-negotiable areas of measurement should be. Our metrics, however should be driven by a New Testament definition of success rather than a cultural definition of success.

Think about these areas in your congregation, take a stab at answering them and ask whether these "indicators" or metrics would be worthwhile evaluating on an annual basis. All of these go to the health of one's church. They are not listed in any particular order.

• What is our numerical growth or decline annually?


• What is our conversion growth annually?


• Do we have an identifiable disciplemaking pathway to bring people to spiritual maturity?


• Do we have clear statements regarding our mission, our guiding principles, central ministry focus and culture?


• Do these clear statements actually impact how we do ministry?


• What is the giving per attendee per year?


• What portion of the budget is allocated for outreach or missions?


• Do we have a clear leadership coaching/training paradigm for future church leaders?


• What percentage of our adults are in small groups?


• What focus do we have as a church on Kingdom Ministries - ministries focused on our community or region?


• What focus do we have as a church on ministry "to the least of these?"


• How many individuals has our church sent into full time ministry?


• What is our annual attrition rate (people leaving the church)


• Do our governance systems hinder or facilitate the making of timely ministry decisions?


• Do board and staff have a clear definition of what role each plays?


• Do staff members operate with annual ministry plans?


• Are Elders/Leaders clear or unclear on their Biblical function and role? It that role written down?


• Is there an emphasis on spiritual transformation and a plan for how your congregation seeks to help people see personal transformation?

• Are we seeing genuine spiritual transformation taking place among our people and leaders?


• Is there an annual intentional ministry plan being driven by staff and leaders?


• What significant ministry innovation has taken place in the past 24 months?


• Is there an intentional plan to develop greater diversity within the congregation. How many ethnic groups are represented in a sizable way? What are they?


• How many of your pastors have a mentor and how many are mentoring other pastors?


• Is there a high, medium, low or non-existent level of alignment among ministries of the church?


• In what ministries is the church finding its greatest opportunity for spiritual growth, kingdom impact or evangelism?


• Does the church have an intentional process for choosing leaders based on needs and qualifications?


• Does the board operate with a board covenant outlining commitments to one another and acceptable board behavior?


• What percentage of the church participates in local, national or international short term ministries each year?


• What percentage of the congregation's ministries are focused on disciplemaking and what percentage on evangelism?


• What percentage of the congregation are using their gifts in meaningful ways inside or outside the church?


• Is the Gospel held up as the central most important element in the life of the church?


• Could the majority of your people articulate the great truths of the faith?

What questions would you add?

The courage to have a direct conversation

It takes courage to have a direct and candid conversation with someone that we have a difference with. Too often, rather than speaking directly we speak to others hoping that they will influence or set straight those we have an issue with. It does not work! Rather it creates even more misunderstanding and chaos than if we had simply sat down to dialogue with the other individual.

If I have an issue with another individual it is my responsibility to deal directly with them, or they with me. Avoidance creates more distance and asking others to deal with it for us is a lack of courage. Hoping the issue will just go away is wishful thinking. It is a Matthew 18 thing!

I spoke to a pastor today who had been dealing with a number of elders who were at odds with him. He had avoided direct discussion of the issues for a number of years hoping that he could build the bridges necessary for resolution. It did not work. When he finally addressed the individuals directly they decided that they no longer wanted to serve in church leadership and for the first time in many years he has a unified and aligned group of leaders. Everything changed, but not before he had the courage to have a direct conversation and address the real issues.

We can run from a barking dog, hide from a barking dog or walk toward a barking dog. Today I do the last! I may not get agreement or resolution (the ideal) but at least I will get clarity and have done my part to deal with the relational disconnect. What I will not do is ignore the issues, hide from them or hope someone else will solve them for me. 

Jesus was always direct. He spoke with grace and truth but he did not dodge issues that were in front of Him. Neither should we.  Is there someone you need to have a conversation with?

Two phrases we ought to use more often

The first is "thank you." All of us have much to be thankful for from those around us whether family, friends, colleagues or staff. It is easy to fall into complacency and forget to thank them for what they do. This is especially true with staff who work hard. We ought to thank them often and specifically. Not to do so is to take them for granted: think of the hole they would leave if they were not there!

The second is "I am sorry." Or, "I blew it." When we blow it we ought to have the honesty and courage to admit it. That simple admission says a lot to those around us. It tells them that we care about them, that we have a measure of humility and that we understand our own humanity.

Both phrases say something about us: We care about others and we are other focused rather than us focused. There is the building of humility in both. 

Powerful phrases. Use them often.

An interesting and challenging job of staff

One of the jobs of staff is to keep their leader out of trouble: From making poor decisions, driving down the wrong road or ignoring warning signs that they need to be aware of. It is not always an easy job depending on one's leader but it is important because bad decisions by our leader carry consequences for the organization, its staff and its mission.

Some leaders (the healthy ones) both welcome and expect candid feedback and counsel. They are under no illusions that they are always right and seek the widest counsel possible. Other leaders frankly are not very open and it is a more delicate matter.

I have worked for both kinds of leaders. For those that are sensitive about counsel or feedback, one needs to think through an approach that will be most likely to be heard. All of us respond in different ways and I am sure my own staff think through how they can best address issues with me. That is not a bad thing, it is a wise thing.

It is easy for staff who see a potential train wreck coming to keep their heads down and their mouths shut but this is a shirking of responsibility - with the exception of highly narcissistic leaders for whom no feedback is productive. Whether our leader takes our advice or counsel is not our responsibility - sharing our concerns is because the health of the organization is at stake.

And if we are leaders we ought to invite such feedback and counsel. We decide how easy it is for our staff to engage us. And that is a measure of our own EQ and humility. 

SOLEQ - For a definition read on...

It stands for Sudden Onset Low EQ and comes from a colleague of mine. I found it humorous and true because all of us suffer from it at times. Symptoms include: the sharp remark, the biting email, the throw away comment that hurts, unnecessary irritation with others, inappropriate anger and each of us can fill in the personal list for ourselves.

It is worth thinking about since good relationships are all about good EQ - knowing and controlling our impulses which emanate from our emotions. SOLEQ can cause us to lose relational coinage and therefore influence. 

In addition, instances of SOLEQ are indications that we have unfinished  business with ourselves. We ought to ask, "Why did that situation push a button in me?" When buttons are pushed that cause emotional responses it is more about us than those who pushed the button. 

Someone asked me recently how long it takes to develop really good EQ. I said "a lifetime." It is an ongoing process of learning ourselves and controlling our emotions, impulses and responses in appropriate ways. The issue is to be aware of when we respond in less than an appropriate way, keep short accounts and ask ourselves how we can handle it differently in the future.

And, thanks to a candid colleague, I have a new acronym. 

Theology for non-theologians

Theology is a word from a Greek word that combines the words "God" and "study of," therefore it means the study of God. By definition, every believer, or follower of Jesus is also a student of God and understanding Him. 

Obviously this means that we are regular readers of the Scriptures. This is where our churches can be a huge encouragement to the body to be regularly in the text. I am deeply encouraged by whole congregations that are reading through the Bible together. Ministries like Bible Study Fellowship, Precepts and others make huge contributions to the body in this regard.

Every believer should understand and be able to define key biblical words and concepts that define theology: incarnation, redemption, reconciliation, the fall, sanctification, gospel, salvation, creation, the image of God, heaven, hell and sin. These and other words come directly from the Bible and are absolutely key to the understanding of who God is, what he has done for us, his eternal plan and our place in that plan. This is not exhaustive obviously but illustrates the point.

I have another conviction. Almost all of us have the ability to read and understand books on theology. There are many theological books that are very accessible to the average but discerning reader. We read many books on the Christian life. What about reading books that directly help us understand who God is from those who have spent a lifetime studying Him?

In addition there are many online courses available today from great Christian colleges and seminaries. My challenge is that however we do it that we regularly are learning more about God, His Word and the central themes of Scripture. Central themes of Scripture should be known and understood by His followers.

I titled this blog "Theology for non-theologians." The truth is that every believer is by definition a theologian. The question is whether we are good theologians or poor theologians. 

The power of simplicity

Too many ministries suffer from the confusion of complexity. That complexity keeps leaders and staff from focusing on what is most important by the distractions of all the possible things we could be doing. And there are many!

The most productive organizations and staff are those who have taken the time to simplify the complexity of their work, understand what is most critical and focus on those key areas. They also have taken the time to message that simplicity so that everyone in the organization (or part of the organization they lead) gets it. 

Remember:

Ministry is complex

Complexity is confusing

The job of leaders is to simplify complexity

It is that simple! But it is hard work to get there.

Can you clarify in one sentence what your organization is about and in a second sentence how you accomplish that mission? Can you clarify on one sheet of paper what is truly critical for your ministry? If not it is too complex. Or we are not yet clear!

The second question is whether one can clearly articulate what they do personally. While there are many ancillary things I do, I can spell out my four areas of focus with four big rocks and can therefore organize my life around those four rocks. 

Simplicity is all about clarity. Until our complexity is made simple we are not clear on what is most important. 

Leadership altitude: What altitude are you flying at?

Choosing intentionality is really about the ability to fly at the appropriate altitude and stay there. This is all about understanding our priorities and the kinds of issues we need to deal with at our level of leadership. It is a key difference between people who develop deep influence and those who do not.


Our altitude makes a difference because it determines whether or not we are able to pay attention to the issues that we must pay attention to or whether we allow ourselves to become distracted – dipping down to a lower altitude than we should – and in the process disempowering others and wasting precious time and opportunity.

I often tell my staff that if I am going to lead well, I need to be able to fly at 50,000 feet, where I can see the horizon from all directions, think, plan, strategize and consider the macro issues or organization faces. No one else will do that for me. So if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.

Flying at that altitude I often see what is happening at lower altitudes (where various levels of leadership live and lead) and there is always the temptation to dip down and try to deal with issues at lower altitudes personally. Whenever I do that, I disempower others and I involve myself with issues that I really don’t need to deal with.

Every time I choose to dip down and deal with issues that others can deal with I lose altitude in my own leadership that costs me time and energy. This is why I challenged a ministry leader not to get pulled into meetings where he was not needed. When he dips down from 50,000 feet to 10,000 feet, he is both compromising his own responsibilities and he is pushing into issues that belong to someone at the 10,000 foot level. This disempowers others who have been tasked at that level.

I often talk to pastoral staff whose senior leader loves to dip down at inopportune times and “fine tune” what they are doing. In one case, a senior leaders who lives by the seat of his pants would breeze in on a Friday afternoon, look at the service plan and frequently make changes to fit his desires. What he just did was to disempower the staff member responsible for that service. That meeting should have taken place weeks before and then he should have let the worship leader make the decisions he or she needed to make.

Part of my intentionality is to fly at the attitude I need to fly at and empower others to fly at their altitude – and as much as possible not to interfere with their work. Because I have a monthly check in with each of my reports, we have a chance to dialogue with one another over critical issues but my job as their leader is not to redo their work but to enable them to accomplish their responsibilities and help them fly at their correct altitude.

If I fly at 50,000 feet, my senior team flies at 40,000 feet, giving leadership in their own areas. On their teams are folks who fly at various altitudes in order to fulfill their unique ministry roles. Pilots that decide to fly at an altitude not assigned to them run the risk of crashing with a plane at a different altitude. The same is true for leaders who violate their or others responsibilities. A crash often occurs and influence is lost.

This happened to one of my leadership staff years ago who regularly chose to descend to a lower altitude and essentially get into issues that he should not have. In the process, he lost the trust of those who were tasked with those issues because they felt violated, not in the loop and saddled with the implications of decisions he made at altitudes he should not have been at. Others had to live with the impact of his decisions, yet they had not had any voice in the decision itself.

Knowing the altitude we ought to be flying at and empowering others to fly at their altitude with minimal interference is a part of our intentionality – and the intentionality of others. If frequent interference is needed we either have someone who is not competent to fly at their altitude or we have not learned how to empower others appropriately.

One of the secrets to being able to fly at your altitude is to build a team around you that can take care of issues that you are frankly not good at. I am really terrible at small details: they take me too much time, fall between the cracks and slow me down. Having an administrative assistant who loves details and gets them done in a heartbeat is huge for me. The better the team we can build around us the more possible it is for us to stay in our sweet spot and fly at our correct altitude.

When a church loves the city

One of the most powerful things any congregation can do is to love on its neighborhood, city or region because Jesus does. One of those churches who believes in the power of loving on its community is Valley Church in Des Moines, Iowa. 

It recently completed a beautiful community center adjacent to its own facility for the sole purpose of blessing the community. Since its recent completion they have had over 12,000 guests and expect 5,000 for their great Pumpkin Party.

The facility is located on a 35 acre campus across the street from Valley Church.  It is 29,000 square feet and features an Event Hall (large gym that converts into an attractive, carpeted venue for 1250), Maplenol Café (seats 150), kids indoor play area, meeting rooms and offices.  Outdoors are sports fields, the historic Maplenol Barn, and the Global Greens Farm (for refugees).  The cost of the facility is $6.5 million.

Why would Valley Church make such an investment in their community - at their expense?  The heart behind the Valley Community Center is from 1 Peter 2:12 (ERV) - “People who don’t believe are living all around you. They may say that you are doing wrong.  So live such good lives that they will see the good you do, and they will give glory to God on the day he comes.”

Quintin Stieff, the senior pastor and a friend of mine says this: "At one time, the church was at the center of community life.  But today, it is marginalized both by our own choices and by the response of our community. Our heart is to return to the center of the life of our community.  Not to dominate it, but to be a life-giving presence.  How is that possible?  We have concluded that we cannot talk our way into the hearts of the people of our community.  We cannot force our way.  We need to serve and love our way back into their hearts.  So, we have launched a major initiative called “Love You Des Moines” to do just that.  The Valley Community Center is one component of that initiative.  It is a community bridge."

VISION

The vision for the Valley Community Center is:  “A hub for partnerships, doing good for the community… with the community.”

STRATEGY

Nearly all the events and activities are for the greater Des Moines community. (There are very few “church events” held here.) 

Half of the community activities are led by community partners (both community non-profits and Christian ministries).  The other half are community events and activities led by Valley Church for the community. 

To fund this effort they approach morally positive non-profits and say:  “We really believe in what you are doing in the community.  Could you use the Valley Community Center to help advance your cause?”  Their fees are quite low (sometimes free), and are intended to be revenue-neutral.  They don’t make money off the Valley Community Center.  It is our gift to the community.  Many of the guests assume (wrongly) that the city of West Des Moines built the community center.  They are shocked (and pleased) to find out that the church did this.

From a Christian perspective and internally, the strategy is communicated:

Good works à  Good will à  Good news

Aggressive GOOD WORKS for/with the community lead to GOOD WILL and that leads to opportunities to share GOOD NEWS. 

Quintin shares a few examples of how the Valley community Center has been used recently:

·       Public School Teachers - The Valley Community Center hosted the staff training day for all 675 employees of the local public school district.

·       Military - Hosted 750 members of the Iowa Air National Guard for a training gathering.

·       Disabilities - Host a weekly meeting for Iowa Adaptive Sports, providing individuals with physical and cognitive abilities in power (wheel) chairs the opportunity to play “power soccer” completely independently.

·       Refugees – We provided a few acres of land (at the Community Center), irrigation, and some resources to create the new Global Greens Farm in partnership with Lutheran Services of Iowa.  The Center/Farm serves 20+ refugee families from Rwanda, Nepal, Myanmar, Burundi, and Bhutan.  They raise produce to supplement their family income and food source.  The church also hosted several Global Greens Farmers Markets, where church members could meet the refugees and purchase produce.  Delicious!

·       Youth – We hosted the 10 Year Gala Celebration for Freedom for Youth, an inner city ministry partner that serves homeless and at-risk youth in Des Moines. 400 people attended and over $125,000 was raised for this organization.

·       Children – Valley Church leads Upward Sports (community leagues for children in flag football, cheerleading, basketball, soccer).  This fall, we have 1300-1500 children, parents, and coaches participating on a weekly basis.  We are expecting 25% more for basketball this winter.

·       Random Groups – We host an indoor cricket league (30 men from India), a Pakistani community celebration (120), an historic neighborhood reunion (100).  Coming soon:  Special Olympics basketball, Circle of Friends banquet (special needs), Mosaic (disabilities) dinner (200), Parks and Rec Daddy/Daughter Valentines dance, etc.  These are all community events, not church events.

·       Monthly Compassion Focus – Every month there is a different compassion project to serve people in need.  This month is the winter coat drive.  The community is invited to participate, as well as the church.

·       Guests – Since our opening in June, we have welcomed over 12,000 guests.  We expect 5000+ this week for our 3-day Great Pumpkin Party.

See the attached magazine for a list of some of the partners and other info.

Website:  http://valleycommunitycenterdm.com/

FB:  https://www.facebook.com/ValleyCommunityCenter

It is a powerful story and one that God is going to bless! You can do this in your way and in your situation. It comes out of a heart like Jesus to love our communities.

Helping our staff find their sweet spot - and it applies to us as well

A critical factor in the success of any organization or team is ensuring that staff are deployed in their "sweet spot." That is, in alignment with their gifts, abilities and strengths. In fact the difference between a staff member being deployed in their proper lane or not is absolutely huge. Someone who looks like a failure in one lane can look like a huge success in another.

How does one go about determining where a staff member fits? I have several suggestions.

One: Understand if they are an individual producer or an organizational or team leader. There is a fundamental difference between the two. Individual producers are those who best work projects that they do alone (think a salesman). They are not wired to manage other staff. Team or organizational leaders love to work through others (think the sales manager) and that is where they shine. Put either individual in the role they are not wired for and they will be frustrated.

Two: Dialogue deeply with staff members about what they have done in the past that gave them the most joy and satisfaction. If they are frustrated in their current role or if you are frustrated with them in their current role it is a good indication that they are in the wrong role. This meas asking a lot of questions to bring clarity both to you and to them about what they are really good at and what gives them the most satisfaction. 

Three: Be candid with a staff member if you have concerns about their current job. As you probe their own satisfaction you will often discover that they are frustrated in the same areas you are because those areas are not in their skill set. They may not be able to articulate that to you except for you raising the issues and sharing your observations. It has been my experience that there is often relief when staff members discover why they have been frustrated and that discovery makes it possible for you to reposition them for success.

Four: Remember that when we are in our sweet spot we experience satisfaction rather than frustration, those around us are served by us well rather than poorly and the role we play sees the proper results. When we are not in our lane, we experience frustration and those around us do as well. Frustration, lack of results, irritation by those we serve or are on our team are often symptoms that someone is not positioned properly.

Helping staff find their proper role is an ongoing responsibility of leaders. The better we do this the better our team performs and the higher the happiness factor of our staff. This is a stewardship role of leaders.

Introducing (or reintroducing) people to the Word

It would be interesting to know how many of those in our congregations have ever read through the entire Scriptures. In my experience the percentage is not high. We read many books about the Christian life but many of our people have not read the book of life themselves.

A best practice I have observed is that of congregations reading through scripture over the course of a year together. If this is encouraged from the front, through the ministries of the church and with regular encouragement it is possible to see a high percentage of folks participate.

All of us deeply desire life change for our people. We also know that spiritual transformation is not what it ought to be in our ministries. Could it be that part of the reason is that our people are not living in the word themselves and therefore not experiencing the Truth first hand?

I often wonder what the simple practice of regularly reading God's word would do for God's people in our day. If what Psalm 119 says about the word is true, they are missing out on a lot by not soaking themselves in His truth.
It is simple but profound. Think about it.

Powerful footprints

One of the most powerful things we can do as church leaders and friends is to help those in our circle of influence think about the ministry footprint that they leave. Ministry footprints are powerful prints.

Ephesians 2:8-10 tell us that God created us for relationship with Him and to engage in a special work for Him. Paul writes, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I believe that most believers get the relationship part of this equation. What they don't get is that they are uniquely created and gifted by God to do unique things for God which God actually prepared them for. To the extent that many believers have not figured out and are not engaged in the role they were created for there is a hole in God's plan for his Kingdom. The lack of influence of the church today is directly related to this lack of engagement in the work that God created for each of his children.

In a recent blog I referenced the fact that Paul's phrase "God's workmanship" could be translated as God's unique work of art. There never has been and never will be anyone just like me - or you. That uniqueness also translates into the unique work that only I can do - or only you can do.

Not only are each of us unique but the contribution that each of us can make to the kingdom is also unique. That is a powerful statement. It means that my contribution matters in God's plan. It means that my life and your life have huge significance in what God wants to accomplish in this world.

In fact, these verses address the two deepest needs of the human heart: relationship and significance.

But here is what most believers don't get. God intends to use them in their setting, with their gifting, with their personality, with their quirks (we all have them) in ways that are consistent with how God wired us.

So the challenge is helping people understand how they are wired, what their particular strengths are and encouraging them to leave ministry footprints in their unique way.

What we often do instead is to create jobs, slots or ministries within the church and fit people into those slots with little regard to wiring, gifting and sweet spots. In addition, because our focus is so "church centric" we have created the impression that ministry is in the church when God created us primarily for ministry in the world where we live, work, have relationships and where the people who need God's love are.

The other challenge is to help the average believer (those who don't have the up front gifts or theological education) understand that their contribution to God's work is hugely significant in God's plan. The truth is that God created them for a very unique role that only they can play. And it is when we are all fulfilling our unique roles in the kingdom that the church is effective.

I cannot do what my wife does and she cannot do what I do in God's plan. She amazes me as she uses her gifts of grace and care to help people who are hurting and messed up. I may have a more public job but her contribution is unique to her and her ministry footprint is totally unique - designed by God before she was conceived for His work in her lifetime with her skill set. She is also able to reach a whole segment of people that I will never connect with like she does.

What would happen if we celebrated, honored, and held up all the ministry footprints of our congregations? And if we helped people figure out their unique contribution rather than creating a "ministry slot" for them? Not only would it create ministry ripples throughout our communities but it would give every one of God's people the significance that they are looking for.

This only happens when church leaders are intentional in helping Christ followers understand the unique role God wants them to play in His Kingdom enterprise. It is perhaps the most powerful things we could ever do in our ministries. Oh, it is also the job that God gave church leaders! Ephesians 4:12

The temptation of leaders

It is a potential sin of all who lead and it is fed by success, knowledge and the power inherent in leadership. It is arrogance: hubris or pride – an inflated view of our own self importance.

As a reader of history I have run across any number of individuals who suffered from this deficiency. George Patton wrote this in his diary in the Second World War: “When I think of the greatness of my job and realize that I am what I am, I am amazed, but on reflection, who is as good as I am? I know of no one!” And then there was Winston Churchill who said that history would be kind to him because he would write it.

God has a lot to say about arrogance including this nugget in 1 Samuel 15:22-23 regarding Saul:

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.”

Why is arrogance so distasteful to God? Certainly because humility is what he looks for in leaders since humble leaders are teachable and able to follow while arrogant leaders do not have either ability. Arrogant individuals have an inflated view of their own importance and thus listen less, feel entitled to special treatment, demean those around them in attitude or words and essentially raise themselves by putting down others. If not checked, arrogance can become narcissism and that is where King Saul found himself.

How do we protect ourselves against arrogance? One of the ways I do so is to lead through team which does not limit my influence but it does my power as that power is an intentionally shared power.

In addition, being aware that privilege brings with it the temptation to inflate my own importance, I seek to keep a sense of who I am and my own vulnerabilities. The more I know the “full me” including my shadow side, the less likely I am to think I am any different from others (I am not). Arrogant individuals are able to overlook the areas of their lives that are problematic or excuse them away. When we do that we run the risk of losing our perspective on whom we really are.

Finally, the more we serve others the less likely we will be to develop arrogance. Serving others is the posture of a good leader and of Jesus. Service develops humility as we identify with our staff rather than see ourselves above them. Humility before God and men keeps us from the sin of arrogance.

Ten reasons we don't fulfill our God given destiny

My observation is that there are many believers and even many Christian leaders who do not fulfill their God given destiny (Ephesians 2:10). This is not because they don't sense it's presence. They feel the call but for various reasons they don't respond.

One: We don't have the faith

This was the case with the ten spies who went into the promised land for Moses and then declared that the people were too strong to conquer and caused the people to roam for forty years in the desert because of their lack of faith in God. When God calls us, it requires faith to respond.

Two: We don't have the courage

Responding to God's call requires courage. We must take the first step: He will not do it for us. This was Abraham when he chose to follow God into an unknown destiny when God called him.

Three: We don't want to take the risk

Following His call can be risky. We don't know the outcome - we only have the call. This was Nehemiah who risked it all to respond to the prompting God had given him regarding Jerusalem. He was willing to risk his life and reputation for that assignment.

Four: We fear failure

This is a natural fear and it is why the command to "fear not" is the most repeated command in all of Scripture. We have much to fear but we have a God who is larger than any circumstance we could face.

Five: We don't believe God can really use us

This is Moses when he was eighty and God was calling him to lead the people out of Egypt. Here is the irony. When Moses was forty he thought he was something and God could not use him. When Moses was eighty he thought he was nothing and God could then use him.

Six: We don't believe we are qualified

Again, consider Moses who had all kinds of excuses for why he was not qualified for his assignment. Let's face it. None of us really are. That is why we need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and the presence of Christ on a moment by moment basis. God makes us qualified!

Seven: We don't understand the role of the Holy Spirit

Romans 7: There is nothing that can separate us from the love or presence of God. We are indwelt by God. Jesus said we would do even greater things than He did when the Holy Spirit came. Every Christ follower has Jesus living in them through the Holy Spirit! 

Eight: We don't understand our part in God's meta story

Life is not a random series of events. Every one of us who knows Christ steps into His story with a divine reason to be there (Ephesians 2:10). We don't know how the threads of God's tapestry connects but one day we will. Today we see the messy back side but in heaven we will see the beautiful front side.

Nine: We are caught by the expectations of others

When my father told people he was going to Hong Kong as a missionary many years ago, some prominent individuals told him that he was throwing his life away. How often others have a plan for our lives when God does as well. Who we choose to listen to makes all the difference in the world.

Ten: We are too comfortable

What if Abraham had said to God, "Look, I Googled the place you are sending me and it doesn't look too promising?" I think that is often the case. We weight the odds and think, "Hey, I am comfortable, why rock the boat."

Why follow God when He calls? It is the most exhilarating and amazing experience we could have. And what gives us the confidence to step into our destiny? It is as David said to Saul before he went up against Goliath. I have met the bear and the lion and God gave them into my hand. He based his faith on what God had done in the past and we can as well.

Do you want to raise the bar for you and your team?

I am convinced that one of the most important discussions we can have as ministry teams is how we can raise the bar on our effectiveness - personally and corporately. This is not about working harder or longer but working smarter and with greater focus. It is easy for all of us to gravitate toward the comfortable rather than to stay focused on what is most important.

There are a number of questions that can help us reflect on ways we can raise the bar.

As I look at the coming week what is the single most important thing I need to do in order to move the ball down the court? That may sound simplistic but the truth is that getting the most strategic thing done in the course of a week is far more important than getting many non strategic things done.

Do I take time each month to prioritize my work and activities? One of the secrets of highly productive people is that they take the time to think about their upcoming month and prioritize their activities so that what is most important gets done and those things that are of lesser importance are done last. I do this with a Personal Retreat Day each month to think through my schedule and activities.

If there was one thing that would help me be more productive, what would it be? This can be as simple as scheduling the most important activities at the time when we are at our best, or blocking out time without interruption, email or phone calls. Answering this simple question - and acting on it - can make a significant difference in effectiveness.

Are there activities in my schedule that I could simply eliminate to free up time for more important things? We often accumulate activities and obligations that over time start to weigh us down when critical analysis would tell us that they are no longer critical to our work. Time is the one thing we can never get back so jettisoning those obligations that are not critical can help us move to the next level.

Are there activities that need to get done that can be done by others in order to free up my time for those things that only I can do? Often, there are activities that someone needs to do but that we don't need to do. On the other hand, there are some things we must do because we do them better than others. Delegating what we don't need to do frees us up to do those things that we really must do. A rule of thumb is that if someone else can do something 70% as well as I can, I should generally let it go.

Can I connect my activity with specific key results that I want to see from my work? Remember that there is a difference between activity and results. Often our activity gets in the way of focusing on the few key results that we want to see from our work. Making sure that our activity is the right activity to get to those results is a simple but profound principle.

Does my calendar reflect my priorities? Our calendars (how we spend our time) tell the real story of what our priorities are. Unfortunately there is often a disparity between what we would say our priorities are and how we actually use our time. Bringing our calendar into alignment with our priorities is a game changer.

Taking time to reflect on our activity, lives and work will almost always help us raise the bar on our effectiveness. Taking the time to slow down and think through what we are doing and how we are doing it can be truly freeing.

Top Missions Blogs: Getting to strategic mission strategies

The blogs related to missions receive some of the highest readership on my blog site. I have compiled the top read missions blogs below with links to the individual blog you are interested in. I hope this can be a resource to missionaries, supporters and mission committees in local churches.


Missions and Europe: Should we be sending missionaries to a place that has been evangelized in the past?

Partnerships in missions: Five key principles

Can the great cities of Europe be re-evangelized

Accountability for missionaries: Rethinking the paradigm

The both/and of missions: The gospel and compassion

What is missions? Be careful how you define your missions efforts

Short term missions: Doing it right

Mission agencies: choose wisely

The nine critical shifts that must take place in missions today

Helpful and wise words from a veteran missionary to the US church

What I wish my supporters understood about my work

A wake call for missions: the world is moving to the city

Sticker shock in missions

Best practices for training overseas

Strategic missions strategy: leveraging your investment

Missionary support team building: very tough work

Holistic Missions: Cautions and opportunities

Bride over Brand


TED talk at the Mission Exchange on critical shifts that need to take place in the mission world today

Parents: A major inhibitor to sending new missionaries

It really is a very bad idea

Changing antiquated local church mission strategies

Muslims are not the problem

Straight talk about results in missions

Disappointment in missions

Leadership in missions

Missions in the 21'st century: Two circles, one goal

From leader to partner in Global Missions

What kind of churches should we be planting around the world?

Western vs. indigenous missionaries

Missions and the Holy Spirit

Determining what missionaries to support

The changing face of world missions

What do you pray daily?

The answer for me is simple. There are many things I pray about but there are three things I pray for every day and before every key interaction: Wisdom, empowerment favor. Let me explain.

Wisdom because I want to be to able apply God's counsel and understand how He would have us respond in any given situation. As a leader there are many options from which to choose. The key is to have the wisdom of God to know which is best. It comes from Him so I ask for it regularly.

Empowerment because unless I am walking in the power of the Holy Spirit I will not have the wisdom or insight that I desire. It is the Holy Spirit that helps us see clearly and apply God's truth wisely.

Favor with people because without favor there is no influence. Unless God gives us favor so that others respond to us well, we cannot lead them or have the influence we desire with them. 

I have been amazed at how faithfully God answers these prayers as I am faithful in praying for them. What do you pray for daily?

Our real identity

Our identity is a complicated puzzle made up of many factors. For instance, I grew up in Asia so I am defined as a "third world kid." I feel most at home there but my home is here. Add to that the family each of us grew up in, our experiences through life, the education we received, the job we have and our station in life. No one of these is sufficient for identity but together they profoundly impact who we believe we are.

Now, I believe that God uses all of our history to craft who we are in the present and he uses the present to craft who we will be in the future. But at its core, our identity is all about who God created us to be in relationship with him rather than the external factors that we often falsely believe are our core identity.

For many men, their job defines their identity. What happens if the job goes away and I am unemployed? Did my core identity change? If my 25 year old son who is a strapping outdoors man were to suffer an accident that left him as a paraplegic did his identity change?

External factors in our lives are certainly important in shaping who we become when we allow the Holy Spirit to grow us. But our core identity is found in our son ship and daughter ship of the King of Kings. In the end we are more defined by our relationship with God than our jobs, our position or life experiences. All of those may be wonderful and may have had a part in forming us but many of these can go away. Our life "in Christ" can and will never be taken away. It is the core of our identity for all eternity.

Believing that and living it out changes everything.

Crafting the culture of your organization

It is perhaps one of the most important jobs of a leader: crafting the culture of their organization. Whether in ministry or business, when the culture is healthy and life giving one attracts and retains the best staff and they will weather all kinds of challenges together. The corollary is that where the corporate culture is unhealthy it breeds all kinds of dysfunctional relationships, politics, lack of cooperation, turf wars and general discontent.

Leaders often pay far too little attention to culture in their desire to deliver on the bottom line but it is a big mistake. A life giving culture is one of the most important keys to ministry or business success. 

Think of all the time and energy that it expended dealing with dysfunctional relationships, politics, lack of cooperation and turf wars. Eliminate those life taking dynamics from the workplace and all kinds of great things can be accomplished. In fact, in healthy cultures these kinds of behaviors are not permitted and are anti values for the whole staff.

How does one craft a life giving culture? First leaders model what they desire from their staff. People will hear what one says but they will pay attention to what they experience with their leader. Culture always starts with leaders who either live out life giving or life taking behaviors.

Second, leaders clarify the values, guiding principles or behaviors that they expect to be lived out in the organization. Many leaders don't realize how much influence they have in this regard. If that clarity is lived out by the senior leader and his/her staff, others will start to get the picture and move in that direction.

Third, leaders make it clear that there are behaviors that are not allowed and back it up with action when necessary. When we allow dysfunctional behaviors to exist it sends a message that we are not really serious about the values we espouse.

Here are some of the cultural pieces we have been intentional about creating in ReachGlobal.

• Health: Healthy individuals, healthy teams and healthy leaders. This includes emotional, relational, spiritual and skill health.
• Robust dialogue: Any issue can be put on the table with the exception of personal attacks or hidden agendas.
• Graciousness: How we communicate matters and we respect one another.
• Autopsy without blame: Bad things will happen and when they do we will seek to learn from it without assigning blame.
• Whatever it takes: We will do whatever it takes to get the job done and are flexible on strategy but not on our philosophical underpinnings.
• Team: We work together well.
• Trust: We trust one another and deal with it when that trust is violated.
• Promises: We keep them.
• Development: We develop and grow people in our desire to see them reach their full potential.
• Accountability: We deal with situations where behaviors do not match our desired culture.

What culture are you creating? Is it intentional or accidental?

Relationships and influence

There is a direct and organic connection between the quality of our relationships at all levels and the influence we have with others and within our organizations. If one wants to have influence one must focus on healthy relationships.

If we see positional authority as the base of influence we miss the point! People may accede to the authority of another because of their position but they will not genuinely follow someone who they don't respect or who they don't think has their best interests in mind. And the way they judge that is usually in the quality of their interactions.

It is easy to become careless in how we interact with others. We can take them for granted, send them biting emails, be short or critical or simply not acknowledge them and their contribution. Every poor interaction is a withdrawal from our influence bank and every good interaction is a deposit. Carelessness in our relationships and interactions is devastating to ongoing influence. 

Some people I know would say that the above statement is all about "politics" and they don't like politics. I would say it is about respect and all of us want respect. It is about negotiating relationships for the best possible outcome. If we want to have influence we will focus on the quality of our relationships. It is the basis of true influence.

Apps and operating systems: Why disciplemaking programs often fail in the church

We all know the mandate of Jesus to go and make disciples. We also know that in general the church has done a poor job of helping people become genuine followers of Jesus. We are great at acculturating people into our evangelical subcultures but not so great in seeing real life transformation take place that looks like what Jesus and the New Testament describes.

I define a disciple as one who understands grace and extends it to others, who thinks like Jesus thinks and then aligns his/her priorities with those of Him and who see people as He sees them and loves them as He loves them. It is transformation of hearts, minds, lifestyle and relationships.

The question is, why does this not happen more often? We have to acknowledge that transformation is not easy and is always a work of the Holy Spirit with our cooperation. Life toward Jesus is a journey of a lifetime.

However, I believe there is another issue that short circuits the process. As people who have a program for everything we often design programs for disciplemaking - like an App that we download for our I Pad or cell phone. Then we ask people to buy the App (get involved) and put them through our process hoping they will come out the other side a better disciple.

The problem is that disciplemaking can never be related to an App or program. Rather it must be built into the fabric of our operating system as a church. Everything we do should be intentionally designed to help people move toward transformation of heart, mind, lifestyle and relationships. No ministry is exempt. No program can make disciples but the church can if it is woven into everything we do.

Ask yourself this question. What are the specific ways that everything you do in the church is designed to make true disciples? Do you believe that your design is working well and can you point to tangible results? Would you describe your strategy as more of an App or more of an operating system? Finally, would your people know how you define a mature disciple?

Signs that we live in grace

How do we measure our grace quotient? Here are some signs to consider:

• I am at peace with Jesus knowing that He forgave my sin and does so daily. I have nothing to prove to Him.
• I readily extend that grace to other hurting and broken people without judgment even when I need to speak truth into their lives.
• I am more interested in the Holy Spirit working in the lives of others than I am in trying to do so myself although I will always loving help if needed.
• I do all that I can to live at peace with others rather than in conflict.
• I extend grace to those who treat me badly even if I need to confront the behavior.
• I intentionally go out of my way to give honor and dignity to those who need it no matter their situation.
• I go out of my way to extend help and honor to "the least of these."
• I have no one that I have not forgiven for offenses committed against me or others even when that forgiveness is hard and is done as an act of obedience.
• I am willing to tell people the truth in grace knowing that ignoring issues is not grace.
• I daily seek to live out the fruit of the Spirit in my relationships with the help of the Holy Spirit
• I seek to understand the situation of others when I am irritated with them.
• I seek to live generously rather than selfishly.
• I look to the gospels and the life of Jesus to understand what it means to live in grace and extend it to others.
• I daily ask Jesus for the grace to live in grace.

The church is often a place of lies rather than a place of truth

No, I am not talking theology, especially in the evangelical world. I am talking about how we pretend we are "all together," the struggles we hide and the huge lack of transparency about our lives because it is not safe to tell the truth: That we are broken, struggling, hurting people, deeply in need of grace and deeply in need of the support of other believers if we could only tell them our need.

But in most churches, telling others our need can be dangerous. People talk, people can subtly condemn and in truth, being transparent is a threat to the system as most churches are not transparent. After all, as believers we must have our lives together.

We forget what drew people to Jesus: His indescribable grace and acceptance and love. That is also what draws people to us (if they are drawn to us) and should be the biggest magnet in the church. But that means we must major on God's grace and that those who walk through our doors will feel that grace no matter what their background or their struggles.

And this is what we cannot forget. I can know Jesus for many years and still desperately need His grace and forgiveness. The fact that I have known him does not exempt me from my need of Him. If we all understood that in the church it would be a far more transparent and grace filled place. 

Ironically, our struggles are common struggles so pretending they are not there is silly. It is also a lie. And it keeps us from supporting one another, praying for one another and doing what God does so well, extending grace to one another. 

What would it be like if our churches were the safest place on the face of the earth to be transparent rather than the most unsafe? What would it be like if rather than lying to one another (by not admitting the truth of our need) we were truthful with one another? I suspect we would be healthier people because through the grace and support of others many would get whole. And I suspect many would be drawn to us because they see in us a transparent honesty, grace and the truth that brings healing.

And it is healing that we all need.