The church and its avoidance or engagement with society

I meet many believers who seem to think that the local church is there to protect them against the ills of society. In fact, whether it is explicitly said, it is certainly implicit in the kind of programming the typical church does that keeps people busy at church and leaves very little time for engagement with their community, unbelieving friends or other activities (sports being the notable exception). There is a bunker mentality among many believers that sees the church as their protection against the evils of our world.

It is a sadly mistaken view of what God intended for us as believers. If Jesus is our model all one needs to do is look where he spent much of his time and with whom - sinners. And I am talking corrupt officials (tax collectors), prostitutes, adulterers, and everyone that the pharisees found objectionable. In fact, Jesus did not fear the world, does not want us to forsake the world but does want us protected from the evil one. Thus He prayed in His high priestly prayer of John 17, "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one."

Thus a lifestyle of avoidance of the world is actually directly contrary to the example of Jesus and His will for our lives. For without engagement there is no opportunity for the good news of the gospel to become known or for the Gospel to transform people, communities and institutions. In fact, it is genuine engagement with people that Jesus modeled and the New Testament teaches. It is engagement with our world on behalf of Jesus rather than avoidance that is His desire for us.

Here is an interesting question: How many unbelieving friends (true friends) do you have and how much time do you spend with them? For many Christ followers that is an uncomfortable question since the answer is few or none. That is a life of avoidance, not engagement. When Jesus tells us to go into all the world and make disciples He is not saying "write a check to support a missionary far away" although that is a good thing to do. The "Go" is to all of us where we are, with whom we work and live and play and it is everyone's job to make disciples.

For the tech savvy, the combined Klout score of your congregation (see www.klout.com) is the combined number of meaningful relationships your congregation has with unbelievers. Unfortunately, the Klout scores of most congregations is terribly low. But it needn't be. 

If you are a pastor or church leader, ask the question: "Is the mentality of our congregation more about avoidance or engagement?" And, "What is basis for your answer?"

The purpose of the church is not to avoid the world but to overcome the world.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

The path to legacy - it may not be what you think it is

Leader often pursue the wrong path when it comes to leaving a legacy. Often for Christian leaders it is building some ministry or enterprise and all of our energy, time and focus goes into that pursuit. As one who leads I know that temptation to do this. Certainly we want what we lead to be healthy, transformational and missional, making a difference in our world. However, I am convinced that even these great efforts are not the path to legacy, to making a multi-generational difference into the future.

That path, the legacy path is far more about lives we have deeply impacted who in turn deeply impact other lives in an ever widening disciplemaking group. Think about this: Jesus could have started an institution, but He did not. He changed the world by discipling twelve guys who in turn discipled others and they others and the world was changed. Paul did the same. Sure he started churches, the Bride of Jesus because these should be the training ground of disciples but he personally invested in men like Timothy and Titus and others (2 Timothy 2:2) who did the same.

It is time to reclaim the Great Commission which says, "Go and make disciples of all nations." That is, multiply men and women who are deeply committed, all-in followers of Jesus who rather than focusing primarily on institutions, focus on life on life transformation of others who will in turn do the same. This is the great need in the church today and it is the great need if the Gospel is actually going to penetrate our communities. 

I have led a church, a mission agency, and various other ministries but I firmly believe these are not my legacy. My legacy will be my two kids and grand kids following Jesus with all their hearts and the individuals whom I have poured my life into over the years, those upon whom I have had deep influence. They in turn have and will have deep influence on others and the circle of fully devoted, all in disciples, will continue to grow - long after my name is forgotten by everyone except maybe for a few dusty books sitting on shelves.

I spend a lot of time mentoring and coaching people who will in turn do the same with others. Some are in my tribe (denomination), many are not. For Jesus there is only His tribe. Don't be fooled about what you leave behind. The path to legacy is often counter intuitive. It is not institutions but people both within those institutions and outside. If you want a legacy, be sure you are investing in the right place.

One last thing. One does not have to be a leader to have this kind of legacy. In fact, there are far more non-leaders who understand this principle than leaders who are too busy building something. Every Christ follower is called to make disciples and in doing so those who do have far more influence than many leaders do.

When I ask people who was the most influential man in the New Testament other than Jesus the answer is often Paul. Actually I disagree. I believe it was Barnabas who discipled Paul intensely for a period of years. Barnabas understood the model of Jesus and because he invested in Paul, the greatest theologian of the Scriptures was developed. Something to think about!

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Big God, small problem. Small God, big problem!

Our understanding of God's word has everything to do with how we approach life in very practical ways. One of those ways is how we approach challenges, reversals and problems.

As the years go by and I have more experience with God, I tend to respond to problems with a lot less angst than in my younger days. Perhaps I have matured a bit. But more importantly I have come to understand that God is bigger and sovereign and good and can be trusted with those issues that are larger than me. In Paul's words, He can do far more than we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). 

The bigger our God, the smaller our problem. But that comes from understanding Him better, trusting Him more and realizing that He is ultimately in charge of our lives. As I wrote in When Life Comes Undone, "It is a wonderful gift to come to the place were all we have to trust in is God." He is a big God and His bigness puts our problems in their proper perspective.

When on the other hand we are not living close to Him, our problems loom large. The smaller our God, the more out of touch we are with Him, the less we know about Him, the larger our problems look. It is a matter of perspective, theology and faith.

I am deeply thankful for my perspective today. I know there is nothing that I cannot leave in His hands. The larger our God, the smaller our problems. The larger our faith, the less our anxiety. 

A big God leads to small problems while a small God leads to big problems. Which would you prefer?

How our motives in ministry impact how we lead in very specific ways

We often don't think about this but the motivation of leaders directly impacts how they lead, how they treat their staff and how they deal with difficulties. Motives are powerful in their implications.

Consider how we lead. If my underlying motivation is to build something for myself I will lead selfishly. What I do will serve my purposes, my goals, my vision and my kingdom. If, on the other hand my underlying motivation is to contribute to the Kingdom of God, I will lead unselfishly because it is not about me but about God and His purposes. Unselfish leadership always takes the spotlight off of us and shines it on Jesus alone. It is all about Him, not us. If you want to know the motivation of a church or ministry just look at how much attention is focused on the leader and how much is focused on Jesus.

Consider how we treat our staff. If my underlying motivation is to build something for myself I will use people, control people and manipulate people to achieve my ends. If on the other hand, my motivation is to build God's kingdom, I will empower people, release people, seek to help people get in their lane, use their gifts and see people flourish. Selfish leaders use people for their purposes. Unselfish leaders release people to become all that God designed them to be. If you want to understand if a leader's motivation is more about them or more about God, simply watch how they treat people!

Or consider how we deal with difficulties we face. When our underlying motivation is to build something for ourselves we become angry and frustrated because our efforts have been thwarted. Those problems become personal because our plans are threatened. If on the other hand, our goal is to build the kingdom of Jesus, we will trust Him, believe in faith that He will intervene and leave our frustrations with Jesus. How leaders respond to difficulties is a pretty good indication of whether their agenda is theirs of God's.

It is clear that our leadership motivation makes all the difference in our leadership. Unfortunately, too much leadership in the Christian arena is more about us than about Him.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

What I wish more leaders did differently

Someone asked me recently what I wish organizational leaders did differently after all the consultations I have done. I have been mulling on that so here goes:

I wish more leaders cared about the health and vitality of their staff. There is frankly no good excuse for an unhealthy workplace or unappreciated staff. If we cannot create a healthy work environment we don't deserve to have staff working for us. If we are going to lead we must make the health of our staff one of our highest priorities.

I wish more leaders understood how important it is to clarify who the organization is, where it is going and how it is going to get there. The truth is that our staff deserve this clarity. The other truth is that without that clarity we don't know where we are going. And if that clarity simply resides in the head of the leader it is not understood by those who need to understand. If we are going to lead we need to be clear about what is important.

I wish more leaders were willing to empower others rather than to control others. Leaders who control, micromanage or make decisions others should be making are unempowering leaders who are treating their staff poorly. It is usually a sign of threatened and insecure leaders! Those who cannot empower should not lead and don't deserve to have staff working for them.

I wish more leaders paid greater attention to their own Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It's health or dishealth directly impacts their staff. Too many leaders are defensive, don't allow candid dialogue, marginalize those who disagree with them, don't listen, don't ask questions and cannot handle push-back. What they get in return are people who don't tell them when the emperor has no clothes because staff know they won't hear or don't want to hear. They are poorer leaders and people because of it.

I wish more leaders paid attention to their personal and professional growth. The quality of leadership depends on the quality of our spiritual, emotional, relational and skill health yet so many leaders have no development plan. They are too busy leading to become better leaders! Eventually those who don't pay attention to growth hit a wall and can no longer lead well. That could have been avoided if they had paid attention to the right things along the way.

I wish more leaders would ask their key reports how they could lead better and what their reports wish were different. Because most leaders don't ask they simply remain ignorant to issues that they should be aware of. It takes courage to ask but if we really care about the health of our staff or team we will. If we are not courageous enough to ask we are really saying that it is not important to us and that is a sad statement. Unfortunately many will never ask.

What is interesting about this wish list is that the burden of poor leadership falls to one group - our staff. The blessing of good leadership falls also to staff. How we lead directly impacts all those who work in our organization. I meet too many staff who live with the burden rather than the blessing.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Three essential EQ skills every leader and supervisor must have to be successful

The longer I lead the more convinced I am that much of one's leadership stands or falls on their EQ (Emotional Intelligence). Good EQ gives our leadership credibility while poor EQ sabotages it. Yet it remains a skill set that many pay too little attention to. If I had to identify three EQ skills that a leader or supervisor had to have to be successful in the long run they would be these.

One: Personal security. Insecurity is the menace of many leaders leading to all kinds of behaviors to mask that insecurity. Personal security is knowing who we are with our strengths and weaknesses and being OK with that. Secure individuals do not need to be right, they have no need to be defensive and can live from a "nothing to prove, nothing to lose" perspective. Secure leaders are healthy leaders while insecure leaders are not.

Two: Self awareness. The better we understand ourselves the better our leadership can be. Other awareness and empathy toward others are not possible without self awareness. Self aware individuals understand their emotions and control them, their motives and regulate them and their relationships and keep them healthy. They also understand how they are perceived by others and how to manage their dark side (we all have one).

Three: Other awareness. Those who cannot understand the emotions, reactions, motivations and behaviors of others come off as uncaring, aloof and arrogant. Maybe even narcissistic. One cannot have empathy toward others without being aware of their needs and concerns. The best leaders are acutely aware of those around them and their needs. Only those who understand others can help them succeed and grow.

There is one more thing. It is possible to possess these skills but to neglect them - to become so consumed in our own stuff that we become careless with our self awareness, other awareness and it is possible for our personal security to become arrogance if not guarded. These three areas of EQ must be guarded, practiced and evaluated regularly for our leadership to be healthy. 


(Written from Berlin, Germany)

After you hire the real work begins

You have your addition and you breath a sigh of relief. But not too fast! Now, the real work begins. From day one, you want to ensure that your new team member understands the mission, values, preferred future and all the things you told them on your 'what they need to know' list. They have heard it from you, now you need to make sure that they 'get it' in terms of how they work on your team.

The more personal time you can spend on the front end, the faster they will get up to speed and develop what you want them to develop rather than trying to figure out the 'rules' by watching others.

Set aside regular times to just sit with them over the first six months to ask them what they are observing, what they are surprised about, what information they need to do their job, and how you can remove barriers for them. Ask them how they read the culture of your team and ministry. They are new - you might be surprised by what they observe as a new set of eyes coming in. Probe with questions so that you both learn and can know how well they are assimilating into the organization. Make personal introductions to those they need to know in the organization.

For your own purposes and so you can do a better job with the next hire, after six months ask them to tell you what they wish they had been told on the front end, what the most difficult part of the transition was and what was most helpful in the entire process. Jot down their feedback and incorporate it into your next hiring process.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Bill Gothard and how his Basic Youth Conflicts led to Scriptural abuse and people abuse

Yes I attended one of the Basic Youth Conflict seminars as a teenager, one of millions that did. In a day when the church was not talking about practical issues, he certainly did. And it drew many adherents, and many cult like followers who believed his every word. Bill Gothard has finally resigned after decades of allegations, problems and abuse of people in his organization.

The problem was how Bill Gothard used the Word. For every issue there was a several step process to resolve them. It was a mechanical approach to solving those "basic youth conflicts" and you didn't need much of the Holy Spirit to do so. Further, his proof texting approach led to some egregious theological errors including the infamous "chain of command" from God to parents to children and of course from husbands to wives to children. 

It was a theology of control that led Bill and his brother to controlling people who worked in his ministry in amazing ways. Words like manipulation, abuse, bondage, legalism, guilt, threats, manipulative God speak and sexual abuse all fit. It was legalism through and through with enough "truth" thrown in to make it sound and seem biblical. But it was far from Biblical in many respects.

One of the interesting byproducts of the black and white approach to every issue by Bill was that his disciples tended to marginalize those who disagreed with them. Churches split over Gothard theology, families were hurt, women were put down and used. When theology causes division (not over orthodox tenets of the faith) you know something is very wrong and it was a regular trait of both Gothard and his followers.

It also allowed the abuse of people using the veneer of God and the Bible. Grace was hard to find and as noted the Holy Spirit and His direction in our lives downplayed for the direction of the "spiritual authority" above us.

What is truly sad is that the bad theology and terrible treatment of people goes back to the sixties and yet he has been able to carry on largely unimpeded all these years. Until now when the weight of the years of abuse finally brought about his resignation. Many, many people have been scarred by his legalism and proof-texting. Many live with great guilt because they violated his "dress code" or "definition of Christian music." Many know they don't measure up to God because of what God "requires" (by Gothard's definition).

Some lessons from all this?

1. We should be disciples of no man or woman but Jesus alone.
2. If anyone has all the answers they don't have the answers.
3. When theology divides beware.
4. When theology is used to control people it is not from Jesus.
5. When legalism rather than grace is the focus, it is not from Jesus.
6. When rules not found in Scripture are propagated, it is rarely from Jesus.
7. Check out the texts being used by yourself. Many of Gothard's proof texts do not say what he says they do.
8. When many evangelical scholars take exception to someone's teaching, pay attention (many did).
9. When there are hints of immorality and money misuse or poor board oversight of a ministry - stay away (there were).
10. When there is a mechanistic answer to every problem, forget it. It is not how God works. 
11. When a ministry's workplace is toxic something is very, very wrong.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

When leaders get irritated

It happens to anyone who leads. I don't need to go into the causes as there can be many. The question is how does one handle the irritation with ones staff? It may seem like an elementary question but it actually is not as our response can help or hinder our leadership. It is why careless leaders lose unnecessary coinage with staff because they do not moderate their responses appropriately. 

Leaders have a higher responsibility to moderate their emotions and responses than others. The best leaders choose carefully how and when to respond to irritating events and modulate their emotions with care. The control of our emotions is designed to get us the best result rather than to vent in ways that are unhelpful. Leaders who are careless with their responses and emotions often hurt people unnecessarily (especially true with emails).

There are many times when leaders choose to keep their irritation to themselves and seek to solve the issue without revealing their emotions. There is often no need for staff to know our irritation if it is not necessary. Every time we reveal irritation we use and often lose coinage with staff.

There are a few instances where leaders intentionally choose to reveal their irritation, strong feelings or appropriate anger in order to make a significant point. There are times and events that require strong reaction because the issue at hand is critical to the organization. Especially when a key value of the organization has been violated.

The issue is whether leaders have the ability to modulate their emotions and often keep their emotions to themselves. And, to use their emotions in a productive manner rather than allowing them to be used unproductively. 

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Can the Gospel impact whole cities?

The answer is yes! We know because God has done it before and I am confident he will do it again (I hope many times over) in our day. I remember growing up in Hong Kong where the Gospel was not well known in the sixties. Today it would be hard to live there without being touched by the love of Jesus in some way as over the years the Gospel has flourished and grown and the church has been deeply active in the life of the city. Much the same can be said for Singapore.

Today I am attending a conference for Together for Berlin, a coalition of ministries committed to reaching Berlin with the Gospel. ReachGlobal participates heavily in this effort. Together we would like to see a transformational Gospel presence in every one of Berlin's 100 distinct neighborhoods. Together, across ethnic (there are some 200 ethnic churches in Berlin), denominational and country lines we want to see the name of Jesus become well known and His reputation lifted high. And that in a city that is today one of the most secular but influential cities on the planet. 

Can it happen? Through the presence of the Holy Spirit and the power of the Gospel it can. And I believe it will because God has laid a similar burden on the hearts of so many Christians in this city and when God's people live and work in unity (John 17) God can work powerfully. Powerful ministry comes out of God's people putting aside their less important differences for the cause of the Gospel and the name of Jesus. They have kingdom hearts like Jesus not provincial and small hearts like many others. 

In the room with me are people from all over the world who now live in Berlin. They are very different and their faith expressions are also varied. The music this morning comes from a Romanian church in Berlin of 600, one of the largest churches in the city. Many different people, different churches, but they are of one mind when it comes to reaching this city with the love and transformation of Jesus. The unity of His people is a sign of His presence. Jesus said so! And it is evident in Berlin!

What about your city? Is there an effort among God's people to come together for the cause of the Gospel? I watched it happen in my home city, Hong Kong. I am watching it happen in Berlin and in ReachGlobal we are praying for some 100 such places world wide. I know of a number of cities where such efforts are underway and it always starts when God's people come together in unity around the Gospel. What unites us as evangelical believers is far more powerful than what divides us.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Desperation

I just arrived in Berlin for two and a half weeks of meetings and discovered when I checked into my room that my phone was missing. Immediately there was this feeling of desperation. All my contacts, my best way to communicate, the one thing that is never more than a few feet from me at any time and somehow it has become separated. 

It got me to thinking! What if we were as desperate for the company of the Holy Spirit in our day as we are for that little piece of technology that has become so dear to our lives and which we cannot do without. I think that is the point of John 15 where Jesus says I am the vine and you are the branches and whoever remains in me and I in them will bear much fruit.

I know that I can exist without my phone. I know I cannot exist without the presence of the Holy Spirit. If only we were as concerned about Him as we were about those things that make our life manageable on the technology side. A good lesson learned. Now I hope I can still locate that piece of technology!

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Pray for those in Ukraine: A missionary's perspective

Comments from a ReachGlobal staff member

It’s now after 5 am in Ukraine on March 4.  Before I go to sleep tonight in the US, I’ll scour international news sites and Facebook with friends from Ukraine, looking for friends and ministry partners who may be on Skype at this early hour (for them) to see what happened with the ultimatum presented by the Russian government for Ukrainians to abandon their posts in Crimea or face the consequences and wrath of the Russian Army.

 It is surreal to live in and love the country that is the headline of every international newscast.  News changes so quickly that I’m often hesitant to post or make requests too specific.  That said, I would like to suggest ways we can pray together:

 Just as God held back vast armies numerous times in The Old Testament, we have seen God hold back the immense Russian Army and opposition in Ukraine.  Please pray with us that God will grant peace throughout Ukraine.  We are dependent on him for his intervention.

Amid the conflict in Kiev, there has been a prayer tent where people of numerous denominations have gathered together and stood to intercede for unity and peace.  Please pray with us that this unity of believers will continue long beyond this conflict.

Pray for war to be completely avoided in all areas of Ukraine.

We know from biblical accounts and personal experience that we serve a God of restoration and miracles.  Pray that He changes and directs the hearts of opposition leaders.

Pray for wisdom as the new government in Ukraine leads.  The new Prime Minister is a former Baptist Pastor.  Pray that he will hear and heed God’s voice.

We place our hope in God.  We recognize that He uses nations and leaders to accomplish His will.  Thank God for His sovereignty.

Often when the things that we put temporary hope in are stripped away, we see people search for answers.  Pray that Ukrainians will continue to turn to God for eternal hope and answers.

The best leaders are purveyors of hope

Our world is full of people who will see the down side of every situation even if there is none to be found. Whether it is the weather, the economy (OK so that one might be valid), ministry opportunities or life situations, many live with a degree of pessimism.

Good leaders, however, cannot live where many others may live for leaders are purveyors of hope. Not out of blind optimism. They are deeply realistic about the situations they face. But they also believe that the mission God has given them can and will be accomplished and they are committed to finding a way to go through, over, under or around barriers and obstacles. They are women and men of resolve.

Hope and vision are deeply connected because vision is not possible without the hope (and resolve) to get there.

Being a purveyor of hope actually starts with the ability to articulate a clear, compelling direction and picture of where a team or organization is going. Optimism without a clear picture of the preferred future will not motivate bright people. They might like the optimism but they will ask what its all about!

It also includes the ability to help staff know what their part in that picture is and to empower them to contribute to the goal. Staff want a piece of the action and a sense of empowerment instead of control and micromanagement. Good leaders are encourages and hold their staff to the same high expectations as they do themselves.

When times are tough, it is leaders who keep hope alive by helping the team figure out how to creatively deal with the challenges they face. Many ministries today are faced with severe financial constraints - or soon will be. Leaders are responsible to give their people the hope that they will find a way through. A large part of that is helping figure out how to manage with less while still keeping every one's eyes on the goal.

Even when hard decisions need to be made, the willingness to make those decisions for the health of the organization is a hopeful sign for staff. Knowing that their leaders are willing to do what is best for the organization (compassionately but proactively) gives staff confidence that the organization will prevail, in spite of the challenges that are faced.

Here is an interesting observation. Being a purveyor of hope does not mean that one is a raving extrovert or necessarily overtly optimistic. It does mean that one has great resolve and that resolve to succeed gives the team or organization confidence that the ministry they give themselves to will prevail and make a difference.

The cards we are dealt

Two things I know: I know that life is not fair and I know that God always is.

We see evidence of the first truth every day: illness, job loss, unfair circumstances, just the plain stuff of life that is not always pleasant or desired.

All of us are dealt a set of cards in our lives, and sometimes the hand is not what we signed up for. Those are the situations that cause discouragement, fatigue, disappointment, depression and anxiety.

If all we had were the first truth, (and that is all most people in our world have) life would be most discouraging. But, we know that God is fair, He is good, and He loves to redeem the unfairness of life for His greater purposes in our lives. In fact, speaking of God's goodness and fairness, there is nothing in us that deserves His attention to our lives in any way. The question is not why God allows some situation in our lives but why He deeply cares for us when it occurs. 

Think of the cards you have been dealt, the good ones and the hard ones. And then consider Peter's words: "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:6-7).

What is interesting about Peter's words is that God has a higher purpose for our lives than our comfort. More important than our comfort is the quality, strength and development of our faith - and faith is developed when we are at the end of ourselves and must turn to Him in our need. For the Christ follower there is nothing more important than faith and trust in the Father and it is our trials that grow our faith quotient.

But even that is overshadowed by our ultimate goal which is to result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Our faith, our response to the issues of life results in praise, glory and honor as others around us watch us handle the unfairness of life with genuine trust in our loving God. Our ultimate mission in life, after all is to make the father look good and the son well known.

We do that when we allow the unfairness and discouragements of life to be forged into cutting edge faith and in doing so we overcome the cards we have been dealt with the strong, tempered alloy of faith which brings great glory, praise and honor to God.

Understood in this light, each bad hand we are dealt becomes an opportunity to grow and to bring glory, praise and honor to God. It all depends on how we view life and its ultimate purpose. The shallow view is that life is about me. The grander view is that life is about God and how He wants to use me to bring glory, honor and praise to Him. How we view life and its ultimate purpose will determine how we respond to the cards we have been dealt.

If the cards in your hand today look unfavorable to you remember this truth. In the end you have the winning hand for God always has the last word.

Pray for Venezuela. See this YouTube video of what is largely unreported

Video of the current desperate situation in Venezuela

When people leave your church

OK lets face it. It hurts when people leave the church we pastor. We take it personally and in most cases should not. We forget that individual circumstances and needs vary and we cannot meet them all no matter how hard we try. In fact, if we were in the pew, rather than in the pulpit, we might leave too - depending on our circumstances.

I am not advocating a culture of moving from church to church. And frankly it is not the movers that cause us angst but those who have been with us for a long season. It is their leaving that hurts. But think about this:

If they leave because they are unhappy with us as the pastor, why did we assume that we could please all those who come? If we have had an influence in their lives that is good and will pay off for the rest of their lives. If their needs change or their stage of life changes, how can we be unhappy that they need a change? Often the issue is more about us than it is about them. 

If they leave because because of unresolved issues with us then we need to do all we can to resolve those issues. It may be painful but it can be redemptive and instructional for us. If our actions, attitudes or words have caused pain it is good for us to hear that and to learn from it. It is not about trying to convince them to come back but rather making peace and learning from it.

I think the most painful situations are when many people leave and it is then that we need to sit up and take notice. Why are they leaving and what have we missed, if anything that has caused their leaving? Sometimes it is because we and the leaders have made intentional changes that we are committed to and we will be sad but realistic with the leaving. Other times, it is because we have been unwise in our actions and it is a reaction to our decisions. 

Understanding the reasons is the important thing. If we need to learn from them we should. If we and our leaders are committed to a course of action that is right in the long run we need to take the hit in the short run. This is all about understanding the reasons and being willing to incur the cost when renovation or change is necessary.

Sometimes it is necessary for disaffected people to leave a church so that the church can move forward with greater health and missionality. Sometimes we push people out for unhealthy reasons.

When people leave, understand the reasons!

Leadership by stealth

The best leadership is transparent and out in the open. People know where the leader is taking them and why. The leadership agenda is clearly articulated and people are invited to join the leader in moving toward a specific vision and goal. 

On occasion I encounter a very different kind of leadership - stealth leadership. This style infects some pastors who have an agenda for the church they serve which is not stated up front, is contrary to the direction the church has been going and is essentially a leadership hijack where the congregation, board and even most of the staff are unaware of the intentions of the leader. They have an agenda but they are not sharing that agenda. It is leadership by stealth and it is fundamentally dishonest.

The dishonesty is in the lack of honest disclosure as to what their intentions are, not the direction itself which may be good or unhelpful. Leadership by stealth creates confusion and uncertainty because the leader is moving in directions and making decisions that are not clearly stated so the agenda cannot be debated. Rather people are left with observing the actions of the leader and wondering what the agenda actually is. 

In addition, the leader may bring a few key allies into their orbit and share their agenda with them which - if they are staff or board members - creates additional confusion and division since some key people know the intentions of the leader while others do not. And, when a discussion of the direction does come up, the allies defend the leaders actions and there is no dialogue with them either. In other words, leadership by stealth is not only dishonest (because it is not stated up front and transparent) but confusing and decisive. 

When other individuals challenge the leader's direction they are in a tough spot because while they can see the problematic decisions the leader is making they cannot debate the overall agenda since it is not stated. 

Healthy leaders do not lead by stealth. They are clear on where they desire to go and why and are open to discussing their direction with leadership, staff and congregations. If you are in a situation where you have a leader who is leading by stealth it is worth a conversation to clarify intentions, direction and get it on the table so that it can be discussed and debated. You cannot debate what you don't know.

Relational laziness

I am sure we are all guilty at one time or another and it can be with our spouse, family, colleagues, staff or even significant friends - relational laziness. It is when we start taking others for granted or simply don't put the investment into what are for us important relationships. These are the most important investments we could ever make and when we become lazy and don't pay attention we hurt the relationship and ultimately ourselves.

Those of us who are married know that it takes care and effort to keep the relationship sharp and vibrant. It is not always convenient but it is always important. How many couples wake up one day to a stranger next to them in the bed and wonder how they got there. Somewhere along the line, relational laziness set in!

It is just as significant at work where our relational equity with colleagues and staff is absolutely critical to achieving what we need to accomplish and what we need to do together. Leaders who become lazy in this department lose their staff and their ability to lead well if at all. When we allow other key work relationships to go stale our needed coinage, trust and cooperation may also evaporate.

Consider making a written list of the important relationships in your life and periodically take a look at them and ask the question: "Am I doing what I need to do to nurture the relationship or have I dropped the ball?" Apart from our relationship with our heavenly father, our key relationships are everything! When we become too busy for them or lazy in nurturing them it is always to our detriment. 

Maybe this is the day to affirm an important relationship in your life.

My view of the church: Irrational optimism and deep realism

As one who serves the global church and has worked with hundreds of churches, some healthy, some not I have seen almost everything. It would be easy to become cynical or discouraged by the range of issues, problems and challenges. 

In spite of all of its flaws I have an irrational optimism for the church: Not because of how well we do but because the Holy Spirit is present and the church is His Bride that He intents to purify for the bridegroom on His return. And it is God's chosen instrument to reach the world and to make disciples. In spite of all of its flaws it is a divine institution with a divine mandate empowered by divine power. We may give  up on the church but Jesus never will!

That does not mean that I am not deeply realistic! God's people have an unlimited capacity for getting in the way of what God wants to do in His church. We rely on ourselves instead of Him; we allow what is to be missional to become institutional; we often lead poorly; live in disunity rather than unity and hurt the very people that are part of our family. 

Yet God remains patient, forgiving and continues to send His Holy Spirit to empower us whenever we ask! He cares deeply for His bride and will never abandon it. It's flaws do not reflect Him but rather us in every respect. And if we are the cause of its dysfunctions we ought to become the agents of its health and vitality. 

In whatever capacity we serve, every one of us either contributes to a healthy or unhealthy church. While leadership matters - a lot - the truth is that each of us influences the health of the Bride. The church has many critics. It needs many advocates. Which role do you play? While I am sure the heart of Jesus is saddened by much of what we do and don't do in the church He does not abandon it. He gave His life for it (for us) and we in return ought to love what He loves and be an advocate for what He is committed to.

Thus my deep realism but also my irrational optimism! Realism about us, optimism about God. And ultimately, He is the head of the church!

Choosing a healthy path even when others don't

Many people work in organizations that have significant issues, or attend churches with the same. Welcome to our world which made up of people is highly imperfect. While I wish we all were in healthy workplaces or churches we are not. That being said, we always have a choice: Do I contribute to dysfunction or to health?

The issue is not whether there will be dysfunction in my church or place of work - that is a fact of life. The issue is whether I will deliberately and consistently choose healthy attitudes and practices in spite of what others around me are doing. That is my choice!

Truly healthy individuals simply choose a healthy path even when others don't.

Think about the choices we have:

• I choose whether I get pulled into other people's stuff or avoid triangulation.
• I choose whether I engage in gossip and the putting down of others or choose only to speak well of others.
• I choose whether I keep short accounts in relationships or allow bitterness and conflict to fester unresolved.
• I choose whether I am honest and transparent while still being diplomatic and kind or whether I am cynical and angry.
• I choose whether I live with personal integrity or skirt the edges.

The powerful common denominator in all this is that we always have a choice. No matter how dysfunctional our surroundings we always have a choice. That is empowering to us and powerful in its influence with others.

It is also very freeing. Getting wrapped up in bad attitudes, unhappiness, emotional triangles, unresolved conflict are all massive energy wasters and bondage makers. Choosing a healthy path is freeing. It is also a quiet but powerful influence for health when things are not healthy.

We have far more power over our circumstances and attitudes than we often think. And more influence than we know if we will choose a healthy path even when others don't!

That individual is really odd!

Most churches have them. Odd people. Socially awkward, little self awareness and once they latch on to you it may take another to rescue you from a conversation that has no end.

I meet them often because they like to speak to the one who delivered the message. They always have something to say even if it is not immediately evident as to what their point is.

It is easy to dismiss them. But remember! Jesus never did. They are made in His image no less than me or you. And the thing about the church is that at the foot of the cross we are all equal.

The test of our love is not how we love those that are easy to love or that are like us. It is how we love those who may be harder to love from a human standpoint. 

Jesus attracts misfits and the needy! It is who He is because with Him everyone is important, everyone who desires it finds acceptance and grace. The question is whether we accept and love those he accepts and loves. He attracts those the world rejects - for whatever reason. 

If the one place some folks find dignity and love and acceptance is the church - that is as it should be. Truth is, we are all odd in one way or another. Thankfully it does not matter to Christ.

Before you make someone a supervisor, ask and answer these 7 questions

It is a common scenario: Someone does well in their job so we assume that they should be promoted to a place where they supervise others. This is not a good assumption. Some individuals who are wonderfully equipped in what they do are terribly equipped to supervise and in putting them in that role we both hurt them and those who end up reporting to them.

So, before you make someone a supervisor, ask these seven questions.

One: Are they wired to lead others?
Some people are wired as "individual producers" rather than as "organizational leaders." To illustrate, an individual producer is like the car salesman who has the skill to engage customers, help them find the best car and make the sale. It is an individual kind of job. Contrast that with the sales manager whose job it is to lead the team of salespeople. These are two different skill sets entirely. 

Two: Do they have the skills to help staff succeed?
The primary job of a supervisor is to ensure that their staff are successful at what they do. There is a skill to helping others succeed rather than focusing primarily on our own success. If they do not possess this skill, do you have the training to ensure that they learn the skill?

Three: Do they have the ability to empower others and delegate both responsibility and appropriate authority?
Unfortunately, many leaders believe that leadership is about telling people what to do and how to do it rather than empowering others to figure out what needs to be done and how to do it. Empowering others means that we define clear boundaries and then delegate appropriate responsibility and authority. Those who are unable to do so should never be put in supervisory roles.

Four: Do they love to help develop others? 
Leaders, managers and supervisors are successful when those they lead are successful. This means that the best have a high commitment to the development of people they lead. They want them to become all that they can be and be constantly sharpening their skills and abilities. Great leaders get great satisfaction out of developing their staff. And staff love to work for those who care deeply about them.

Five: Do they have a clear job description as to what their responsibilities as a supervisor are?
It amazes me how many organizations do not clarify with supervisors what is expected of them in this role. In our organization, for instance, we expect all leaders to have a personal development plan, to build a strong team, develop appropriate strategy, develop their people and mobilize necessary resources. In my view you cannot supervise well without doing these five things.

Six: Do they have a coach to ensure that their transition to a supervisory role goes well?
Moving from a concern about "my work" to a concern about "the teams" work is a significant jump. It requires a different set of competencies, skills and priorities. Having a coach along side of you in this transition can make the difference between success and failure.

Seven: Do they want to supervise?
Why ask the question? Because if someone is not motivated to do what has been described above, they will not make for good supervisors. Too often we push people to take a supervisory role to the detriment of those who end up reporting to them. If they don't want the role, never put them in the role.

Humility is the key to long term success

There are many advantages to cultivating a heart of humility. Among them is the truth that it is a crucial key to long term success whether personally, in our ministry or business. Think about this:

Without humility we don't grow personally because we are not open to the feedback of others or even the necessary introspection of ourselves. If we don't want to hear what we need to hear we cannot grow, change and become a better version of us. Pride can even keep us from hearing what the Holy Spirit wants to tell us.

Without humility we are not open to seeing new ways of doing things (unless we come up with them ourselves). Pride says that we don't need the ideas of others while humility says that we know we don't know a lot and have much to learn.

Without humility we are unlikely to resolve conflict and live in relational health. After all, if I am fundamentally right, why would I need to ask forgiveness or admit that I was wrong? This is why proud individuals often leave relational wreckage in their wake. Their pride keeps them from resolving what needs to be resolved.

Without humility we are unlikely to see the spiritual transformation and renovation of our lives and hearts. After all, that very transformation depends on our understanding of our need for it and the turning from our own way to His way. To the extent that we allow pride to reign on our heart's throne we will resist admitting our need for change.

Without humility I am unlikely to treat others with the respect and consideration that they deserve. After all, if I am wrapped up in me - my needs, my desires, my issues, how can I be sensitive to those of others. Humility opens our hearts to others while pride closes our hearts to others.

Without humility I am unlikely to create a healthy staff and workplace ethos. After all, that is all about serving others and proud individuals think that others ought to serve them. Pride is a fundamental barrier to healthy workplace cultures while humility is a fundamental builder of healthy culture.

Humility is not just a nice biblical concept. It is fundamental to our personal growth and success. And, it mirrors the character of Jesus, Philippians 2. 

When you need to digest bad news

From time to time, organizational leaders need to face and digest bad news. There is always the temptation to become defensive, to want to minimize what we are hearing or to ignore it altogether. We may feel that we have failed or have not led well. This is precisely when we need some values to fall back on and I often fall back on four specific values that help me hear, digest and deal with bad news.

The first is that "I have nothing to prove and nothing to lose." If that is true, I don't need to prove that I am right, nor do I lose if I am wrong. It is a freeing way to live as I don't need to become defensive, don't need to defend or be right. It is a humble position that allows us to grow.

The second value is "autopsy without blame." I am less concerned with who is responsible for what has happened than I am in understanding what has happened and learning from the situation. In most cases, it is not about blame but about making key observations, understand why something has happened and then figure out a way forward.

The third value I live by when there is bad news can be understood by the phrase, "Do not underestimate my resolve." Once we know that there is something we need to resolve and move toward, we are committed to going there no matter what. It is the commitment to do the right thing even when feels inconvenient.

A fourth truth is that "What got us to here got us to here. It will not get us to there. Organizations must periodically reimagine the future and realize that many of our methodologies, paradigms and strategies need to change to get to the next level of ministry success. Thus in the face of bad news we need open minds as to what is best as we look to the future.

Bad news can actually be good news if we learn from it, grow from it and get better because of it. But, that all depends on our own ability to face it and deal with it in a healthy way.

When theology divides rather than Christ uniting

In His high priestly prayer of John 17, Jesus prayed for the same kind of unity between believers that He and the Father experienced. In fact he is very explicit: "I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one - I in them and you in me - so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them as you have loved me" (John 17:22-23).

In Ephesians 4:1-6, Paul makes the same plea: "As a prisoner for the Lord, then I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called: one Lord, one Faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all."

With this kind of priority on the unity of the body, why do we so often allow theology to divide us in the church? I am not talking about liberal vs. evangelical for there are hallmarks of orthodoxy that have been accepted since the early church. What I am talking about are both pastors and parishioners who finely parse doctrine, insist that their theological grid is the right one and in attitude, words and spirit marginalize those who don't agree with them. 

Do we not think Jesus knew that there would be differences among His people when He explicitly prayed that they would be one? Do we not betray His will and prayer when we in the words of Paul are not humble and gentle and patient and bear with our differences in love?

And among Christian leaders as well! How is John MacArthur living this desire by Jesus when he publicly declares war on all things he considers "charismatic?" By his broad definition he has declared war on me as well. Or those who have branded Rick Warren as a heretic. Can we not disagree with one another on theological issues within the broad tent of orthodoxy and still live with humble unity? When I see evangelicals doing battle with other evangelicals in a way that divides I conclude that their version of truth is more important to them than the wishes of Jesus! 

I have watched this play out in local congregations as well. The word and various interpretations become weapons wielded against one another, dividing rather than uniting. Often in working with troubled churches the correspondence between members or leaders is full of Scriptural references as if every point can be proven and position defended with a verse. These salvos that go back and forth are not really about the Bible but about pride and often a misuse of spiritual authority to keep someone in their place. And how do you respond when you are now arguing with God?

Within the broad evangelical tent we will have our theological differences and convictions. Within a local church we will as well. But when those differences become divisive we need to examine our hearts carefully for we have now stepped over a line from disagreement to disunity. Furthermore, Paul's admonition of humility is one we need to take seriously. How do I know that my theological position is absolutely right? Might my perspective be flawed as well? When dealing with the depths of God and the nuances of His character and plan for our world, no theological system can do Him justice. On some things we see through a glass darkly.

Jesus unites us in a common gospel which is good news for our world through a common Holy Spirit. Don't allow our theology to divide what God has united through His Spirit.

Sacred Moments

The longer I have been a Christ follower the more appreciative and cognizant I am of sacred moments in my life: Those instances where it is undeniably clear that God's hand was at work and His goodness was displayed. These are sacred moments precisely because the infinite God lovingly entered my finite life with a touch of His grace filled hand.

This is not to be taken lightly and should be pondered deeply. When the creator enters the life of one of 7 billion people with a gift of provision, protection, forgiveness, financial help, the salvation of someone we have been praying for, comfort for some sorrow, someone who comes in a time of need - whatever it is, it is a sacred moment from the hand of a loving God. 

Unfortunately our lives are often too busy and harried to even notice that the God of Gods and Lord of Lords just touched our life. And that is a tragedy for how might it have changed our perspective on life to know that our lives had just been touched by the creator? Would our perspective on our day and situation change? Would we see the next challenge we face in light of the help of God in the last?

There are many things that I don't have time for but I want to make time for God. I want to recognize His touch when it comes. I want to be thankful for His love and provision. I want to remember His goodness to me so that when in need I remember who is there. I want to remember each time God reaches down from eternity into time to touch my life. They are sacred moments and like Mary, after the birth of Jesus, I want to ponder them in my heart.

Here is someone who understands what it means to lead from the sandbox

Firing people is an art and not a science

Have you ever had to let someone go in ministry? How did it go? Messy? Painful? Lots of cleanup? I have had my share of situations over the past years when I had to let staff go and I have learned that no matter how hard you try to make it a win/win or at least a reasonable transition that it is still an art and not a science. If it were science it would be a lot easier but as an art, every situation is different and each one unique.

Because it is so difficult, the truth is that we often put off what we know is in the best interests of the ministry and what we know is inevitable far longer than we should. The result is that we lose ground and in many cases adversely impact other team members because we didn't have the courage to face and deal with reality.

Which raises another important consideration. When things are not working well between a staff member and the organization, chances are high that the staff member actually knows it and in some cases is also unhappy in their role. Unfortunately for each who actually knows that the fit is not right there are numerous others who are oblivious to that reality.

Which leads from science to art. Here are some of the questions I ask when the fit is not right.

• Is there another role in the organization that would fit this individual?
• Have I kindly but truthfully told this individual that there is a problem and that they are not living up to expectations? If not how do I enter into a dialogue that will help them understand what is not working?
• Is there a way I can encourage the individual to look for a new job so that they go to something rather than from something?
• When there is a mutual parting of the ways, can we agree on what is said from both parties?
• If severance is being paid to encourage someone to leave, do I have a clause that ties that severance to what the party is allowed to say about the ministry they are leaving?
• Will a termination stand the scrutiny of a lawsuit if one is brought?
• What constituencies need to be paid attention to because of the termination? Do you have a plan before you pull the trigger?
• Have I thought through the unintended consequences and tried to minimize the fallout of my decision?
• Have I sought wise counsel about my decision and process?
• Who needs to be informed and in what order?
• How long will the individual be allowed to stay in the office on once an announcement is made? (The shorter the time the better).

Character in the hard times of ministry

Displaying true Jesus character is not too hard when times are good. It is, however, on display when times are bad or hard or from our perspective unfair. For Christian leaders it is tested when we don't get our own way, when we are under attack or when we are asked to leave a ministry. None of those are easy things and each one tests what is truly inside of our hearts.

It amazes and saddens me even though I have seen it many times when Christian leaders get angry and strike back when they are asked to leave their ministry. Many years ago, I had to make a choice when I resigned a ministry under adverse conditions whether I would strike back, denigrate others or try to guard my reputation which was being put through the ringer. The best decision I made was to leave it all in the hands of God and allow Him to sort it out. I have come to a principle that one never hurts the Bride, and when we do we will be held accountable for doing so.

The same is true when we don't get our way. That can be hard and sometimes can be painful. Yet, the test is not the actual decision that is made but our reaction to it. Do we truly trust God or do we need to rely on ourselves? How does our anger when it erupts serve His purposes? When I am unwilling to reconcile with a brother, how does that serve the Kingdom of God? 

Personal attacks where our motives or reputations are sullied are perhaps one of the hardest areas to deal with. King David experienced this and he concluded that he had to leave his reputation in God's hands rather than take it into his own hands. God does have a way of sorting things out and even if it does not happen in this life, He can vindicate in the next. Our responsibility is to not do damage to His reputation when our reputation is under attack. 

In all of this there are really two issues at stake. The first is our character - Godly or ungodly, Higher nature driven or lower nature driven. But the second issue is more significant yet - the reputation of Jesus and the Father as evidenced by our behavior. Here is the bottom line: When we display poor character in the crucible of pain, we ultimately hurt His reputation. In trying to protect our reputation, in biting back in anger, in refusing the path of peace we may have the satisfaction of some measure of revenge in hurting those who we perceive have hurt us but in doing so we hurt something far more precious - the reputation of God.

What does it mean to be Word based and Spirit empowered?

Many ministries I work with would say that they are "Word based and Spirit empowered" but have not defined what that means. It was an instructive exercise for our organization to go through the process of defining what we meant. Here is our definition. As you will notice it goes far beyond simply knowing Scripture.

Word Based & Spirit Empowered

1.    Believing – We are confidently believing that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, trustworthy and without error in the original writings, and the divine and final authority for Christian faith and practice; and that the ministry of the person of God the Holy Spirit is to convict, regenerate, baptize, indwell, fill, anoint, empower, sanctify, guide, instruct, comfort and distribute spiritual gifts to the believer for godly living and service.

2.    Listening – We are growing in our confidence, awareness and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit by intentionally taking time to wait upon God and listening to Him as individuals and teams.

3.    Engaging – We are growing in our regular practice of engaging the Scriptures personally, i.e. reading, studying and meditating upon them as a source of spiritual food, guidance and communion with our Creator; and engaging the Scriptures corporately, i.e. receiving within a grace filled community of the Body of Christ, truthful, challenging & helpful teaching and preaching to understand God’s truth and apply it to our lives.

4.    Seeking – We are regularly seeking and asking for the filling and supernatural empowering of the indwelling Holy Spirit in our lives and ministries.  This empowering is expressed as the Holy Spirit sovereignly chooses to empower the gifts He's given us, orchestrate events, produce transformation, and enable us to do the “greater works than these” that Jesus said we would do.

5.    Obeying – We are growing in our obedience to the Scriptures, to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and to His will for our lives. We are learning to more quickly confess our sin, repent for our failure and return to the Father to ask for the Holy Spirit’s filling.

6.    Abiding – We are growing in our intimate relationship with our heavenly Abba. And we embrace “Intimacy Before Impact” i.e. the necessity of this spiritual intimacy with God and dependency upon Him before we can have “much fruit” in our lives and ministry.

7.    Praying – We are growing in another aspect of this abiding relationship with our God, the ongoing conversation with God which the Bible calls prayer.

8.    Worshiping – We are growing in our personal and corporate praise, thanksgiving and worship of our amazing God.

9.    Expecting – We are growing in our faith, expecting that our Sovereign and Almighty God, because of who He is, will do the extraordinary, the miraculous, both in and through us and our ministries.

10. Impacting – We are growing in our passion for the glory of God and the above elements, all resulting in transformation and the bearing of much lasting fruit.

The most important issue for each of us: God's agenda for our lives

It is an amazing thing that God has designed a role in this life just for us - a role that we are uniquely wired and gifted to fill. A role that contributes directly to what He is doing in our world as part of His meta plan to redeem His broken creatures. It is exhilarating to be at the center of His purposes for our lives and to maximize the opportunity He has given us. Our responsibility is to figure out how to maximize that opportunity He has graciously given.

Central to living out our destiny is a very simple concept: We need to follow God's agenda for our lives! Many people have agendas for us but discerning His agenda and sticking too it is one of the most critical decisions we could ever make. At my stage of life, I know what God has not called me to do and I am fairly clear on what He has called me to do. Thus saying no to the former and yes to the latter is one of my disciplines.

The ability to make those decisions means that we are willing to disappoint some who would tug us in different directions. Ultimately, however, we have an audience of One to whom we will answer for our life stewardship and He is the One who counts. Following Jesus has always been counter cultural and to others our decisions may not always make sense. 

Remember this: Our world has an agenda, our friends have an agenda, our family has an agenda, our church has an agenda and our work has an agenda. There are pieces of those agendas we must pay attention to and negotiate but ultimately the One agenda that truly matters is that of Jesus Christ and He has a definite agenda for our lives (Ephesians 2:10-11) that goes back to long before we were born as to how we would fit into His work and His plan and His meta story.

Perhaps the most important question we could ask Him on an ongoing basis is this: Jesus what is your agenda for me today? He might just surprise you with a response. 

Truthful disclosure in ministry settings

One of the hallmarks of Jesus was his commitment to truth. It was not a hard truth for it was almost always delivered with grace (Pharisees excepted on occasion) but it was truth. Falsehood is one of those things listed in the Proverbs as detested by God.

Yet, ministries are notorious for delivering half truths, non-truths and outright falsehoods when dealing with issues that are unpleasant. This breeds predictable and appropriate cynicism among those who know the full story and is at worst no different than the spin control we see all the time from governments and at best is disingenuous. 

I am not suggesting that in every situation we disclose all that we know or could disclose. That is neither necessary nor appropriate in many cases. I am arguing that what we communicate must be true and accurate and that if someone knew all the facts they would be satisfied that what we communicated was not misleading. It is a matter of integrity, of truth and of the character of God who is the father of truth as opposed to Satan who is the father of lies.

This applies to situations where we might be tempted to spiritualize as a method of spin. Here we blame God for the situation we find ourselves in rather than taking responsibility for our own actions. I remember a time when an organization I was a part of lost a great deal of money through poor decisions and the leader talked about God wanting us to become more dependent on Him. I suspect that God actually wanted better management practices and I didn't buy the line. 

When we choose not to tell the truth we are also communicating that God's people cannot handle the truth. The truth is that we learn how to handle difficult situations by wrestling with them, not by avoiding them. It may not be a pleasant conversation but it should never be an untrue conversation.

I have elsewhere shared some principles for those instances when we need to have difficult conversations with our staff or congregations. One of the things that should separate us from the rest of the world is that we are people who worship the God of truth whose character is true and therefore our words must also be true and righteous and straight. Falsehoods are lies and lies do not come from God. Make sure that your words are always truthful even if you are not sharing all the truth you know.

The power of truth in as an accelerator of growth

The willingness to look truth in the eyes is one of the keys to organizational health. Too often, leaders gloss over problems and issues in the organization they lead rather than facing them squarely, admitting that they exist and using that reality as an opportunity to grow, become better and rattle the comfort of the status quo. The very thing we are often afraid to admit - our organizational shortcomings become powerful tools for change when named.

From time to time I receive a call from a ministry or industry leader who says, "We have a problem,  would you be willing to help us figure it out, identify it and solve it." That immediately tells me that this organization has the courage to be truthful about their situation, allow a third party who has fresh eyes to look at it and use the information to improve. It takes courage to bring in an outside party who can name the issues and help frame the solutions. 

Often we gloss over issues and problems that we know are resident within our organization as if ignoring them will somehow help them go away. We gloss out of fear, because we are afraid of what we might actually find or because we are conflict avoidant. It is a mistake! It is a mistake because the very problems we seek to ignore could become our greatest accelerators of growth if we were willing to face them squarely, name them and focus on solving them. 

I live by a simple leadership premise (and it works personally as well). Truth about our situation can be one of the greatest accelerators of growth when we are willing to face reality and solve problems. Seen in that light, problems are an opportunity not a threat. Truth has power. Wishful thinking does not.

Ministry founders and their ability or inability to take the ministry they founded to a place of maturity

I have come to the conclusion that it is harder to bring a ministry to maturity than it is to found one. That does not mean that ministry start ups are easy - they are not. However, what they require in the beginning -  moxie, energy, vision and enthusiasm is different than what is required to bring them to maturity - discipline, empowering others, letting go of control and being a steward of a vision and mission rather than of a ministry.

In fact, the very skills needed to start a ministry may keep it from maturing into an enduring ministry. After all, ministries start with the vision of a person but enduring ministries are driven by a team who have a common vision. Ministries start by the seat of the pants while enduring ministries exist with disciplined excellence. Ministries start with a fair amount of control by the founder while enduring ministries are not dependent on the founder but where authority and empowerment is given away to qualified individuals. Ministries start with a fair amount of chaos (you do what you have to do) while enduring ministries endure because of stability.

In my experience no more than 50% of ministry founders are able or willing to transition from the start up stage to an enduring ministry stage. And that statistic may well be generous. Why is this?

First, it means giving up control of something we have birthed. For anyone that is hard. For some, it is impossible. It is "their" ministry and that is how they see it. Yet enduring ministries belong to a group with a common vision not an individual. Unwillingness to give up control allows the ministry to go only as far as the founder can take it with his/her span of control.

Second, it means delegating responsibility and authority. An unwillingness to give up control makes this hard for some and impossible for others.

Third, it means allowing the ministry to develop through a shared vision of others not the singular vision of the founder. This inevitably means that the founder is no longer the singular voice and this is how it should be. Only a shared vision with at shared plan can move from the founder stage to and enduring stage. But, the founder must be willing to allow this to happen and believe that the shared vision of the right group of leaders will be even better and more enduring than the singular vision of a single leader

Fourth, it means that the vision and mission become more important to the founder than that of controlling what she/he birthed. Enduring spiritual influence comes from an attitude that what we have birthed belongs to Jesus alone, not to us. We were simply the servants that Jesus used to birth what He wanted to birth. To the extent that I am unwilling to give up control even when that would be the best for the ministry itself - I am believing that it is more about me than it is about Him. And when this happens, it often is to the very detriment of the ministry He used us to found. Ministry founders can both start and hurt the same ministry depending on how they steward it.

From the moment a ministry is founded, good leaders understand that they play a unique role for a season. If they are unwilling to see their role change in the next season, they limit that which God used them to initiate. I have watched founding leaders make both good and poor choices in this and their choices impacted the ministry they founded for better or for worse.

Taking a ministry from start up to maturity is not easy. It comes with losses But if done well it comes with kingdom impact and even greater influence than when initiated.